One wedding, three receptions and a black cow

2021 was about the good, the bad and the adventurous.

After what felt like two weeks on the road, the four-person wedding road trip crew in their tiny Toyota Etios arrived at Outapi in the Omusati Region in northern Namibia, having left the capital shortly after what was known as the 9pm-4am curfew during the previous regime.

The initial anticlimax came as an unpleasant surprise. The heat and the distance got the better of us – well, at least of the writer. Fortunately, a cold shower restored the spirits in a flash. The occasion was momentous: Over the next two days a colleague and friend was to wed the love of his life at three different locations.

We had been planning outfits, carpools and all sorts of in-between mischief since the WhatsApp invitation had announced glitz and glamour back in January 2021. The theme, given the calibre of the couple and their appreciation for all things soft life, came as no surprise: “Look like money”.

An exploration tour was part of the initial itinerary to make sure we were not going to accidentally end up in neighbouring Angola – ostensibly a mere 7 km away from the bride’s homestead in Okalongo.

After a takeaway dinner and a nightcap, we called it a night in anticipation of Day One of the celebrations.

Before the crack of dawn, the four partners in crime were up and bursting at the seams with excitement like villagers on their maiden trip to the city.

The church ceremony, although mostly conducted in Oshiwambo (sub-minimal proficiency is the order of the day, unfortunately), was a joyous affair. The universal nature of the hymns had many of us put on a behind-the-mask performance, even intermittently forgetting about a congregant’s incessant dry cough. The couple was gorgeous – in full compliance of what was expected. They crafted the assignment and had every intention to lead by example.

A photo session in what appeared to be in excess of 75 degrees Celsius was fun and funny with no shortage of laughter and bottled hydrants.

Approaching the bride’s homestead, all guests made a pit stop in a riverbed for a kapana and chill sesh.

The reception made those who had not understood or adhered to “Look like money” regret their lack of attention to detail and effort. It was an extravaganza nothing shy of a glossy wedding magazine feast.

The food still makes my mouth water, the second-to-none ambience, the great music, the open gin and agriculture bar (for those who are that way inclined), the beautiful people and the vibes all made this one for the 2021 books.

Then it was time to go rest as Day Two was looming. As we were driving to our little resting place, cattle were parked on both sides of the road as if they had colonised it. Moreover, northern adventurers, clearly frustrated with our laidback 80 km per hour, sped past us as if they had twenty lives.

And then, boom!

By the time we caught sight of the pitch-black cow in the middle of the road, it was already almost on top of us. The next milliseconds are difficult to reconstruct. When we managed to pull over, we realised that nothing else mattered but our saved lives. We were sans one side mirror, and the fate of the black cow was not evident immediately, but one grandmother, a mother, a father and a prospective parent lived to tell the tale of grace and gratitude and narrow encounters at one wedding, three receptions (one of which we completely missed) and a possibly late black cow.

The next day and all its colour, splendour, adventure, laughter, food and festivities wanted to take the cake but couldn’t – Day One had beaten it to it.

Denver Kisting