DEAR INDY
Presents...
THE PDA SCALE Dear Indie,
TEXT ANNIE STEIN
k and ion last wee ct u d se t u o b lly be column a ou must rea Y e. I read your ic v d a r have ke you rked! I now o w decided to ta it se u a e’s one love, bec tic, but ther a a genius of st ec m I’ . n of oyfriend n making fu ee b an official b e v a h s d PDA. I y frien “excessive” problem. M r u o r fo e s probd and m it’s a seriou if r my boyfrien o g in k don’t they’re jo onate, but I ti ec can’t tell if ff a ly en e’s the eing op uples. Wher co lem. I like b * se o h *t one of y too much? want to be PDA is reall ch u m w o line? H gs?), aybe just hu Kisses (or m ur erate Amate Pretty Desp
DESIGN SAM STEWART
Dear Pretty Desperate Amateur, You’re right—I am a genius, and like all geniuses, I like to sit around and draw diagrams in my free time. I strive for constant innovation, for new and powerful ways to express deeply complex ideas. In order to conceptualize something as abstract as the social appropriateness of public displays of affection, I’ve created a simple yet elegant system, one straightforward to use yet sophisticated in the information it provides.*
ILLUSTRATION SAM STEWART
*INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE The PDA scale only requires you to answer three questions: 1. On a scale of 1–10, how public is your display of affection? Consider how many people might be subjected against their will to your happy relationship. 2. On a scale of 1–10, how much of your public affection is a display? Consider whether you’re trying hard to keep it on the down low (maybe literally, like under the table), or whether you’re metaphorically holding up a big sparkly banner that says LOOK, I’M KISSING A DUDE IN THE BLUE ROOM RIGHT NOW! 3. On a scale of 1–10, how much affection is being publicly displayed? Consider me intrigued.
If the average of your three results equals 6 or higher, it’s time to tone down the PDA!
VOLUME 45 ISSUE 03
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