The College Hill Independent Vol. 40 Issue 6

the VOLUME 40 ISSUE 6 27 MARCH 2020

03 SUCCESS STORIES

09 MARCH MADNESS

13 IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE

Succession and the soap-satire

The Indy pits their favorites against each other

Sometimes I dream of an almanac that contains all the answers to your existence

Indy

the

Cover

From The Editors

Living in Plan Didier Lucceus

The stop signs on the edges of the hill seem particularly crooked now, and the traffic lights along Prospect Street change from red to green in vain. In an ongoing yellow explosion, daffodils in flower beds around Fox Point droop for a diminished audience. If you pass at the right hour, the Ratty still emits the same, albeit fainter, potpourri of fried smells. Those pink flowering trees outside the John Carter Brown Library are cautiously starting to bloom.

News 02

Week in Worship Amelia Anthony & Alisa Caira

05

It’s Personal Asher Lehrer-Small

Any brief consultation with the news reveals that an empty campus is the least of our worries; College Hill is affluent, sparsely populated, and benefits from proximity to Brown and RISD. Those of us who have stayed behind are fortunate to be spending the beginning of this crisis here. Still, while going for walks, I avoid routes that will lead to sightings of the Main Green. When campus still buzzed with the frenzied dichotomy between packing and partying, a friend relayed to me something her dad had told her: anyone who says anything more than “I don’t know” right now is wrong. Though his words still ring true to some degree, I do know that this combined state of chaos and suspension is not permanent. My Shanghai-based parents have lived the past two months in quarantine and uncertainty. Last week, they went out to eat with friends for the first time since the city shut down in January.

Arts 03

Success Stories Cate Turner

Science+Tech 07

Buying, Selling, Being Anabelle Johnston

Sports 09

March Madness The Indy

Dear Indy, see you on Zoom.

Metro 11

Civic Duty Calls Marina Hunt

Literary 13

In the Mood for Love Emily Yang

Ephemera 17

Untitled Liana Chaplain & Sindura Sriram

X 18

Mid-autumn Jack Zhou

MISSION STATEMENT

STAFF

The College Hill Independent is a Providence-based publication written, illustrated, designed, and edited by students from Brown and RISD. We are committed to publishing politically engaged and accessible work. While the Indy is financed by Brown University, we hold ourselves accountable to our readers across the Providence community. The Indy rejects content that explicitly or implicitly perpetuates racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, ableism and/or classism.

WEEK IN REVIEW Emily Rust | NEWS Anchita Dasgupta Peder Schaefer Tristan Harris | METRO Ricardo Gomez Miles Guggenheim Deborah Marini | ARTS Zachary Barnes Eve O’Shea Isabelle Rea | FEATURES Audrey Buhain Mia Pattillo Nick Roblee-Strauss | SCIENCE + TECH Bilal Memon Izzi Olive Andy Rickert | LITERARY Catherine Habgood Star Su | EPHEMERA Liana Chaplain Sindura Sriram | X Jacob Alabab-Moser Ethan Murakami | LIST Ella Comberg XingXing Shou Cate Turner | STAFF WRITERS Alana Baer Leela Berman Mara Cavallaro Uwa Ede-Osifo Eduardo Gutiérrez Peña Evie Hidysmith Kaela Hines Muram Ibrahim Anabelle Johnston Jennifer Katz Emma Kofman Evan Lincoln Zach Ngin Jorge Palacios Nell Salzman Issra Said Kion You | COPY EDITORS Josephine Bleakley Muskaan Garg Sarah Goldman Marina Though this list is not exhaustive, the Indy strives to address Hunt Christine Huynh Seth Israel Thomas Patti Ella Spungen | DESIGN EDITORS Daniel these systems of oppression by centering the voices, opinions, Navratil Ella Rosenblatt | DESIGNERS Anna Brinkhuis Amos Jackson Kathryn Li Katherine and efforts of marginalized people in Providence and beyond. Sang | ILLUSTRATORS Sylvia Atwood Leslie Benavides Natasha Brennan Bella Carlos Ryn Kang Eliza Macneal Sophia Meng Sandra Moore Pia Mileaf-Patel Claire Schlaikjer Floria The Indy is constantly evolving: we are always working to Tsui Veronica Tucker Katrina Wardhanna | BUSINESS Caín Yepez Abby Yuan | WEB Ashley make our staff and content more inclusive. Though our editing Kim | SOCIAL MEDIA Muskaan Garg | SENIOR EDITORS Ben Bienstock Ella Comberg Olivia process provides an internal structure for accountability, we Kan-Sperling Chris Packs Tara Sharma Tiara Sharma Cate Turner Wen Zhuang | MANAGING always welcome letters to the editor. EDITORS Matt Ishimaru Sara Van Horn Alex Westfall | MVP Ben Bienstock

27 MARCH 2020

VOL 40 ISSUE 06

@THEINDY_TWEETS

WWW.THEINDY.ORG

week in worship SOYLENT

BY Amelia Anthony and Alisa Caira ILLUSTRATION Alana Baer DESIGN Daniel Navratil

Lent begins on Ash Wednesday and ends on Easter. This time mimics the same long 40 days in which Jesus wandered the desert without food or water—a tough act to follow. During Lent, some good Catholics choose to add something meaningful to their lives, while others opt to forgo something, a tradition called the Lenten sacrifice. But 2000 years or so after Jesus’ arduous journey, Lent looks a lot different. Our material standards of living are incomparable to any past generations; these days, Lenten sacrifice looks like quitting the Juul and hitting the gym. One can find Lenten inspiration yearround in plenty of clickbait articles (“I Gave Up Sugar for 30 Days and This Is What Happened” or “iQuit Social Media and iFeel Amazing”). Sacrifice is trendy. Increasingly, Catholics and non-Catholics alike are jumping on the vegan or keto bandwagons, commiting to the #gramfree life, shopping small and local rather than Amazon-priming everything, meditating every morning, keeping gratitude journals, and a myriad other worthy approaches to self-improvement that Jesus and his followers would have a hard time wrapping their heads around. Lenten practices are supposed to meaningfully contribute to life in some way, and the sacrifice is meant to be challenging. This Indy contributor remembers attempting to give up jelly beans for Lent in first grade, which she thought was the perfect solution to the idea of “sacrifice” since jelly beans were only readily available in the basket that would reward her on Easter morning. Her church class teacher begged to differ, and this was the first time she was left questioning her commitment to the Catholic faith. (This was also the only year she successfully kept her Lenten promise.). On Ash Wednesday of this year, our semi-bald problematic fave Pope Francis urged Catholics to consider giving up the eighth modern-day deadly sin: trolling. He advised churchgoers to abstain from the sacrilegious practice, no matter how tempting it may be to liken your haters to the Devil. The Pope proclaimed VACATION IS JUST A BLOCK AWAY that Lent “is a time to give up useless words, gossip, rumors, tittle-tattle, and speak to God on a first name After gathering a moderate amount of fame from her basis.” So instead of spilling tea, subtweeting, and YouTube “storytime” videos, Natalia Taylor decided drunkenly ranting like we do for the rest of the year, it was time for something different. Typically, the think about calling up the Big Guy and asking: What’s 23-year-old sticks to posting glamour shots across your plan for this whole goddamn thing? her social media accounts and telling stories about Pope Francis is hipper than most octogenarians, her day-to-day on her YouTube channel. Last month, at least when it comes to the evils of cyberbullying. she decided that enough was enough and played a But do you think he’s ever chowed down on a Beyond bit of a trick on her followers. Over the course of a Burger? For many, Lent includes not eating meat, at day, Taylor uploaded various pictures from her recent least on Fridays. The recent proliferation of meat-like ‘vacation’ to Bali, Indonesia. She lounged on a patio, vegan meats creates the perfect loophole for carnivo- relaxed in a bathtub, and flaunted the AirBnB she was rous Catholics. While devouring a juicy Impossible™ allegedly staying in. Her fans were quick to support Burger every Friday isn’t technically a violation of the her, commenting heart eye emojis and compliments— fast, eating something in the uncanny valley of meat is as one does. One follower wrote, “She really out here kind of…against the point. living her best life,” while another commented, “Our This Impossible™ Burger question provides a Bali princess.” Some even got excited about sharing mouthwatering challenge to the binaries set up by a connection to Bali with Taylor, writing, “I’m in Bali organized religion. Catholicism, alongside many other too!” and “Welcome to my country, Nat! Enjoy!” religions, is filled with these ancient oppositions: good These followers soon tragically learned that their vs. evil, angel vs. devil, heaven vs. hell. Like vegan affectionate messages played into a trend of deception meat, some things don’t fit within these boundaries. Taylor higlighted. In a video released shortly after the And the 2000-year-old religion might need to come up photos appeared on her channel, titled “i FAKED a with some answers. vacation at IKEA,” Taylor exposed the reality behind Right now, thousands of (sinful) Catholics like these glamorous images. Was the YouTuber faking myself are on a Zoom call with God asking if it’s okay a vacation to the luxurious destination of IKEA? to skip Lent in 2020. I mean, with everything going on Did she find IKEA so relaxing it felt like a vacation? right now, I may as well be allowed to eat all the jelly No, no. Rather, Taylor had made use of the Swedish beans I please, right? superstore's characteristic showrooms to fake her Bali blowout—bringing new meaning to the word stayca —AA tion. With her “storytime” explanation video, Taylor revealed the behind-the-scenes of the project and why anyone might try to fake a vacation in the first place. Taylor takes her audience to the IKEA a few blocks from her home, donning a full face of make-up and a pink dress that, her truest fans would know, she had bought recently for a vacation (fear not, many of these

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

diehard fans picked up on this). She was accompanied by her photographer and an unidentified camera operator. The extensive project predictably gained a crowd of perplexed IKEA customers and workers. The mission was intense: the trio quickly obscured IKEA tags, completed their photoshoot, and attempted to hide themselves from workers who might’ve kicked them out. Thankfully, the team was successful, and the video later rejoins Taylor in her room, posting the photos and assuming that some of her followers will catch onto her scheme. To emphasize how ‘obvious’ her stunt was, Taylor leaves small clues in the photos for people to notice the fakeness of it all. But no one does. The compliments from fans flood in along with the confused messages from her friends and family. Taylor takes this as a sign of her fans’ trust in her, a quality that she emphasizes throughout her video. She implies that anyone looking closely would notice these hints. To Taylor, her disciples’ willingness to believe comes from a blind faith in social media rather than from the trustworthiness of the Instagram stories she posts. She explains that if she were in Bali, she would obviously be posting photos at iconic sites and definitely not be posting three times in a single day, either. And clearly, anyone who looked at the art above the bathtub in her last photo must recognize it belongs to IKEA, right? In our current momet of increasing global travel restrictions, Taylor’s video sets an odd precedent for just how far someone will go to fake being ‘away.’ Soon enough, more influencers may capitalize on her tactics to fake luxury and travel, especially as we begin to more frequently envision ourselves in locations other than our bedrooms, even ones that, like IKEA, didn’t feel so far away at first. Whether getting there through our imaginations or our local IKEA, Taylor opens doors that may have been better off closed. Through her own faked vacation, Taylor displays how easy it is to be fooled by influencers online. What she illustrates to even greater effect, however, is just how short-sighted influencers can be. Taylor assumes her fakeness is noticeable, but even after the video, the photos seem convincing and the clues barely visible. Just as other influencers have their reasons for trying to fake vacations, Taylor had her own with this project, which, shockingly, doesn’t just end with the good deed of raising awareness, even if she claims that’s the case. The outcomes of this video, besides awareness, are increased fame and influence for Taylor. Her fakecation, supposedly meant to raise awareness about what people will do for publicity, does exactly what it warns against. At the start of her video, she encourages viewers to subscribe and, at its conclusion, says she’ll follow anyone who DMs her an example of a clue she left in the photos. Predictably, these same photos are now filled with thousands of comments about the video. Through its existence as a publicity stunt rather than a secret, Taylor’s prank ‘fakecation’ garnered more publicity than a true attempt at faking a vacation. With that, her influence grows and, in revealing a facade, plays it in her favor. And so influencer culture continues.

—AC

WEEK IN REVIEW

02

BY Cate Turner ILLUSTRATION Eliza Macneal DESIGN Daniel Navratil

Success Stories

Last October, then-presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg newcomer to the Roy family, knocks over an antique of stupidity, Michael Scott and Leslie Knope both told the Hollywood Reporter that he was “struggling” to bell in Logan’s palatial apartment and tells the house- become basically sympathetic leads, characters that get into a buzzy HBO show called Succession. “I need keeper, “sorry if I summoned you,” when she appears, a viewers are clearly instructed to root for. They have a character to root for and I haven't decided if any of truly abject portrait of human awkwardness in the face serious love interests, success arcs, heartwarming them are good people,” he said. of new-money grandeur. Roman and his sister Shiv end found-family moments. They start out pathetic in the Succession is, in brief, a show about a conserva- up in a shrieky slapfight in a hospital lecture room over sense of being embarrassing, then become pathetic in tive media conglomerate run by Logan Roy, an elderly the fate of the company, and it’s the pigtail-yanking the sense of being sympathetically pitiable. What they sadist. The central question of the show is which of his method that governs such a politically and economic do begins to matter, and because it matters, it stops bloodthirsty children—three sons, one daughter, and, change of power that makes the scene hilarious. being funny. (It’s worth noting that Leslie Knope, by more peripherally, an in-law and a nephew—he will Succession is far from the first show to juggle the close of Parks and Recreation’s last season, seems nominate to run the company. Most plot points revolve send-up and drama. The late-aughts/early-tens heyday on track to be president of the United States.) around billion-dollar deceptions; mass corruption of the mockumentary sitcom was based, in large part, Succession works by a different logic. Here, and corporation-wide abuse also feature heavily. The on the form’s balance of satire and straightforward contempt and emotional narrative are always nearly stories the show tells are, without exception, those of emotional narrative. These shows—most notably Mike simultaneous. Characters are ridiculous even and people obsessed with money and power to the exclu- Schur’s The Office and Parks and Recreation—balanced especially in their misery, regardless of how legitimate sion of absolutely everything else. ironic distance from their subjects with an earnest the misery is. It would be easy to dismiss Buttigieg’s impulse to investment in their romances, careers, and friendships. The major plot twist of the first season—when find an entertainment magnate to root for as a sign of These shows share with Succession a commitment Kendall leaves a waiter to die after a car accident—is his McKinsey pedigree, but the tension he identifies to a certain degree of verisimilitude as far as dress and almost immediately set against a backdrop of the is central to Succession. It’s difficult to know how to styling go. Characters in The Office, especially its early absurdities of wealth. Kendall returns to his sister approach a show that confounds genre as thoroughly seasons, wear bad haircuts and poorly-ironed shirts— Shiv’s wedding, where “I Gotta Feeling” plays at top as Succession. It has been categorized as a satire, but they look, basically, like regular people, an appearance volume. He calls out “hey man!” to his unimpressed also as a drama, a soap, a corporate thriller, a tragedy, necessary to keep the documentary conceit afloat. brother (ridiculous), then dances with his children an adaptation of King Lear, and a parallel to Dynasty Similarly, the Roy family is not movie-star beautiful. (sweet). The next morning, his cousin Greg tells (HBO). Succession deals in family betrayal and personal As Indy alum and New Yorker television critic Doreen Kendall, “there’s kind of a weird vibe with the service failure, but emotional high-water marks are almost St. Felix tweeted last September, “isn’t the thing with folks, the Hobbity people” (ridiculous), due, of course, invariably undercut by satirical humor. The Roy family succession [sic] supposed to be that none of the char- to the waiter’s death. In the next scene, Logan comforts is humorously perverted by their spending power, but it acters are hot.” The Roy siblings have, variously, weak Kendall (serious), calling him “my number one boy” is this same spending power that seems to bring about chins and bug eyes, reedy voices and unattractively (serious/ridiculous). The trappings of wealth, among their moral failings, which are often cast as genuinely smug resting faces. They are beautiful in the way of the them a totally callous disposition toward human tragic. The image of the megarich that Succession pres- real-life megarich—cashmere sweaters, retinol’d skin, suffering, are set against the horror of what Kendall ents is, in other words, very, very unfavorable—but its palpably blow-dried hair, and, above all, pathological has done. These trappings remain hilarious; the weight critique is always tempered by a fascination with why, entitlement—but there’s unusually little movie magic of the death on Kendall remains tragic. exactly, these characters do what they do. apparent in their presentation. The simultaneity of satire and drama in Succession The second episode of the first season, in which More than anything else, this semi-verisimilitude prevents the viewer from ever fully falling into either the Roy siblings wait in the hospital after their father’s makes characters appear more vulnerable. On the ironic detachment from or straightforward attachstroke, shows them reacting with genuine worry, guilt, one hand, vulnerability makes them particularly easy ment to the action of the show. Every time the viewer and grief, and establishes the show’s twist-ridden— to laugh at. On the other, it makes them easy to iden- begins to view Roy as a full, sympathetic person, the almost to the point of soapiness—narrative struc- tify with, easy to pity. In The Office, it is the awkward show chastises them; every time the viewer assumes ture. The siblings struggle to balance their conflicted realism of Dwight Schrute’s appearance that makes a position of superior distance, they’re reeled back in. emotions for their difficult father with their desire for him so easy to mock early on and invest in later. In We identify both with and against the characters at company power, and the episode dramatizes their grief Succession, the same is true of a character like Roman, every turn. and, even more importantly, their power struggles in whose weaselly twitchiness is both funny and, in the Unlike the characters of Parks and Recreation and typical dramatic form. The episode drums up inter- moments when he isn’t outright malicious, weirdly The Office, the characters of Succession are not pathetic personal intrigue as a function of business intrigue, endearing. in their insignifiance. They are the billionaires whose and vice versa. The siblings plot with and against each What sets shows like The Office and Parks and whims dictate the realities of everyone else—by some other; a major part of the show’s pleasure comes from Recreation apart from Succession, though, is the measure, then, they are the most significant people watching these machinations play out. linearity of their progress from one genre to another. in the world. Their idiocy is never harmless, because But the episode also includes as much verbal These shows start with contempt, then turn it inside its stakes are the propaganda machine, the global and physical comedy as its title, “Sh*t Show at the out, finding affection for the people they’re sending up economy, and millions of livelihoods. Each of their F**k Factory,” would suggest. This comedy is always in the process. This is probably part of why they decline decisions, no matter how serious or trivial, reverberbased on one of the characters doing or saying some- so rapidly, and into total schlock, as the seasons go by: ates. Succession treats the very-powerful as people, thing that reflects badly, or at least stupidly, on them- the more contempt they disprove, the less they have worthy of our empathy but always also deserving of our selves. Desperately attempting damage control for to work with comedically, and the arc of these shows contempt. his father’s condition, Kendall (the ladder-climbing, is always to disprove contempt. Contempt, after all, sometimes-recovering drug addict who functions as is mean, and the people that The Office and Parks and CATE TURNER B’21 suspects niceness. the show’s protagonist) tells a business rival, “Simon Recreation depict—scrabbling low-level managers, says mum’s the word, motherf*cker”; his hamfistedly hapless civil servants, all tethered to Heartland cities macho reaction is made even funnier by the sky-high we are made to view as deeply embarrassing—are not economic stakes it attempts to protect. Cousin Greg, a really deserving of meanness. After a few seasons

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Succession and the soap-satire

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

ARTS

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BY Asher Lehrer-Small ILLUSTRATION Alana Baer DESIGN Alex Westfall

IT'S PERSONAL THE LOW-TECH FUTURE OF THE FUTURE OF LEARNING

At Springfield High School in Southern Vermont, the faculty form the basis for personalization. It’s not gaps. Cox reports that students who previously may entryway stairs not only lead students inside the school flashy, but it may be the approach that serves students have struggled to graduate have gained the credits building—they serve as a reminder that learning can best. Instead of depending on computer programs, it they need to earn a diploma through work in the iLab. happen beyond the school walls. Five learning options emphasizes student agency in selecting from an array Initiatives like the iLab are not unique to Winooski are painted on the face of the stairs in bright white of engaged, community-based learning options. If High. All across Vermont, the Flexible Pathways block lettering: “work-based learning,” “early college,” PL is truly the future of learning as experts say, after Initiative has moved schools to adopt a style of learning “dual enrollment,” “online learning,” and “River Valley speaking to Vermont educators, it seems that the that is not only personalized, but truly student-driven. Technical Center.” Green Mountain State’s approach to personalization Out of a sample of 35 Vermont high schools, 17 reported These are the “flexible pathways” that students at may well show us the future of the future of learning. that students spend over an hour per week in adviSpringfield High can pursue as they work toward high sory programs where they develop relationships with school graduation. They can receive credits through a faculty member and a cohort of peers. In that same +++ working at jobs and internships. They can take courses sample, 19 schools reported having a full or part-time at local public colleges and universities, or pursue Even as PL spreads to schools across the country, it still coordinator on staff to match interested students to career preparatory learning at their local technical lacks a clear definition. “You could ask 10 people and internships and early college opportunities. Several center. “The challenge is, how do we work to ensure get 10 different descriptions of what it means,” said such coordinators spoke to the Independent, describing an education for all students that’s engaging, rigorous, Sarah Erickson, a math teacher in Rhode Island, to the programs much like the iLab in Winooski where and relevant?” Patty Davenport, Multiple Pathways Independent. In 2016, the Rhode Island Department students learn through self-designed projects or online Coordinator at Springfield High, told the College Hill of Education launched the RI Personalized Learning courses about a topic of their interest. Independent. Vermont exemplifies the version of PL that best Initiative to grow personalized learning statewide. “I Springfield’s diverse options for students come as don't think it has been practically defined at the school serves students: where students have the capacity to a result of Vermont’s 2013 Flexible Pathway Initiative, level, district level, or state level,” said Erickson. design their own learning. For some, that can mean which asks all Vermont public high schools to offer their A 2017 RAND study admits as much, and offers selecting computer-based, self-paced classes. But for students the same learning options that Springfield a working definition for PL in place of a commonly many others, it can mean supplementing traditional boasts on its entryway steps. The move comes as a part established one. The study stipulates that “personal- classes with real-world, self-directed learning opporof a broader effort in the state to make learning more ized learning prioritizes a clear understanding of the tunities. While these changes require an investment, it relevant and engaging to students, and falls under a needs and goals of each individual student and [tailors] is an investment that schools must make. If the goal of wider education reform movement known as “person- instruction to address those needs and goals.” Yet what PL is to match the needs of students to the educational alized learning” (PL). opportunities that best fit those needs, it has to start by this actually means in practice remains unclear. Vermont is not alone in its personalization push. The absence of a common understanding has getting to know the students. As a reform agenda, PL has become increasingly wide- allowed two divergent definitions to emerge: first, that spread in schools and districts across the country. PL means using digital software to let students to move +++ Education leaders are recognizing that their students through a predetermined body of content at their own have a diverse array of needs, interests, and learning pace. And second, that PL means a restructuring of In contrast to Vermont, Rhode Island has pursued a styles that traditional classrooms are often unequipped school, not necessarily focused on technology, where very different statewide approach to PL. Rather than to adequately handle. They have begun to turn to PL students’ one-on-one relationships with faculty focusing on personnel or advising, many Rhode Island in hopes of flipping the educational paradigm from a guide them to set their own goals and chart their own schools have invested in personalized learning tech“one-size-fits-all” model to a model prepared to meet academic pathways. nologies. In the Providence Public School District, individual students’ needs. In the past ten years, PL has Vermont’s PL push embodies this second defini- school spending on web-based instructional programs gone from a fringe idea to an educational priority for tion. The state’s Flexible Pathways Initiative calls on shot up from 158,000 dollars in 2011-12 to 928,000 thousands of schools. Nine out of ten districts polled schools to support their students in crafting a “combi- dollars in 2015-16, the latest year for which data are said they were investing in devices, software, or profes- nation of high-quality academic and experiential available. sional development to support PL. These changes hold components leading to secondary school completion However, the Rhode Island Personalized Learning promise: initial studies suggest that students at PL and postsecondary readiness.” It is a “new way of Initiative claims to be about more than just technology. schools make faster test score gains than their counter- looking at learning,” the Vermont Agency of Education A state document tries to speak into existence what PL parts at non-PL schools. For students who lack essen- explained in official documents. Students should be is not: it’s not providing every student with a laptop, it’s tial outside-of-school supports, the accommodations in the driver's seat and they should have a say in their not learning in isolation, and it doesn’t mean memoafforded by PL can have outsized positive effects. rize and forget. But do Rhode Island schools follow route. Yet not everyone sees the PL movement as a good Schools have come up with creative ways to accom- through on this vision, or do they just pay lip service to thing. Its links to tech-based philanthropic supergi- modate these changes. At Winooski High School just it? From speaking to local educators, the answer seems ants such as the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation outside of Burlington, students can enroll in an “iLab” mixed. and the Chan-Zuckerberg Initiative have parents and credit where they design individual semester-long projIn the best cases, PL means engaging classrooms researchers alike sharing worries over data privacy, ects with the help of mentors in the school or in their where students actively learn. Dale Fraza teaches the time students spend in front of screens, and the community. Students’ iLab projects can involve intern- at 360 High School in Providence, which received a invasion of private interests into the public education ship work, online learning, and independent research. grant from the state in 2017 to support innovation in sector. In 2017, for instance, Facebook’s founder made One student learned American Sign Language from a personalized learning. In his journalism class, he asks a multi-million dollar commitment to support PL’s community mentor and incorporated what she learned students to pick topics that spark their interest: “In our expansion through the development of online learning into a dance piece that she performed at the end of the last [newspaper] issue, one girl was very interested in tools. Does that money come from altruism, or from an semester. “We really dig into: What are you interested learning about the coronavirus… so she focused on interest in pushing American education landscape to in?” said Lindsey Cox, Winooski’s iLab co-coordinator, that,” Fraza told the Independent. Not everyone picks develop a dependence on technological tools? Skeptical to the Independent. “What do you want to spend time weighty topics. Other students have focused on lighter researchers have coined terms such as “digital privat- on? What are you passionate about?” issues such as the food in their school cafeteria. ization” and “philanthrocapitalism” to describe the In Fraza’s history class, the project-based learning The flexibility of the iLab accommodates students cycle of PL-focused contributions from tech giants in who learn best at a pace different from that of a tradi- model allows students to decide which issues they the education sector that they see as detrimental and tional classroom. “The iLab has been a place where want to learn about more deeply. Many readers might potentially self-serving. students can go more quickly and the iLab has also remember history classes where dry research topics Vermont has taken a path to personalized learning been a place where students can go more slowly,” said were assigned by their teachers. For Fraza, it’s all about that stands apart from these concerns with its Flexible Cox. Where the school might previously have strug- engaging the students. That means letting them pick Pathways Initiative. The effort embodies a version gled to support certain students due to learning differ- the particular research project that they are curious of PL where students’ one-on-one relationships with ences or responsibilities at home, the iLab fills in the to learn more about. “If we’re studying the Harlem

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Renaissance, students have a selection of topics they is the relationship between students and their teachers the country. However, Rhode Island is not far behind can go with.” that matters most, and any role that technology plays standing as the 9th-best funded state with over 15,500 But even if Fraza’s class stands out as an exemplar should be a supporting one.” dollars per pupil statewide. As of 2018, Providence for personalization and project-based learning, other But if systemic and organizational factors are to spent nearly 18,400 dollars per pupil—more than the classrooms, even at 360, fall short. “360 is attempting blame for Summit’s ineffectiveness in Providence Vermont average. Clearly, differences in the two states’ PL in small amounts around the school,” said Sarah schools, what are the systemic conditions that can definitions of PL stem from more than their budgets. Erickson, math teacher at 360. “But [it] does not yet allow personalized learning to benefit students? Even though there are factors working in have a schoolwide model or consistent practice in Springfield High, 360, and Winooski all have Vermont’s favor, its model of engaged, student-driven place.” According to Erickson, PL at 360 is still a work something in common: they each devote significant PL must remain a goal for schools across the country. in progress. time to learning about their students. At 360, students Many Vermont districts that have gone all-in on PL While 360 is working to personalize learning start each day in Hub, an advisory time where they serve mostly students who receive free or reducedthrough project-based learning and relation- participate in leadership development, academic price lunch. For students who are economically ship-building, other schools in Rhode Island have advising, and community building. Springfield and disadvantaged, the flexibility afforded by a relationtaken an alternative approach. Many of these schools Winooski also both devote more than sixty minutes ship-driven PL model allows their advisors to underuse a learning platform backed by funds from the each week to advisory time. While advisory time is far stand their particular situation and make adjustments Chan-Zuckerberg Initiative called Summit Learning from a panacea—staffing, funding, language access that work for them. This might mean finding oppor(360 does not). Some of Fraza’s students transferred and a number of issues are key to quality education— tunities for extra tutoring if the student has limited to 360 after previously attending schools that used the regarding PL, one thing is clear: for personalized time to study due to childcare or work obligations after online learning platform. For many of those students, learning to really work, schools need to become a bit school. It might mean finding an internship placement the idea that PL would mean more than comput- more personal. to break up the monotony of the school day. Studenter-based learning in isolation was a false promise. “To centered PL systems such as these allow schools to be frank, the reviews from those students haven’t been +++ better support their most vulnerable students, while great,” said Fraza of his students' recollections from tech-based approaches that sacrifice one-on-one relapast Rhode Island schools. “A lot of kids kind of resent In an education course at Brown University, Sierra tionships are unprepared to provide those essential the idea that they’re just going to go to school and sit at was learning about Individualized Education Plans. accommodations. a computer all day.” IEPs, her professor explained, are a tool used to track At Winooski High School, which serves 57 percent A report on the Providence Public School System, customized paths for students with learning disabil- low-income students and is Vermont’s only majorireleased by the Johns Hopkins Institute for Education ities. They are mandated by the federal government ty-minority high school, Lindsey Cox is grateful for the Policy last June, supports what Fraza has heard for all such students. Wouldn’t it be cool, Sierra mused state’s move to enact the Flexible Pathways Initiative. from his students. In classrooms that were osten- to her professor, if all students could have such a port- She has always wanted to see student-centered PL sibly “personalized” by the Summit Learning tech- folio? It would make everyone’s learning so much more thrive at Winooski, but the state’s action gave muchnology, which consists of computer-based learning relevant, she thought. The teacher responded that it needed legitimacy to its personalization efforts. programs, students had to adjust their learning to was simply impossible to devote that much attention to “Doing something like this in the public sphere in match the limited formats presented by the Summit every student. such a big and bold way is challenging,” said Cox. “And exams. Furthermore, online learning aggravated Apparently, Vermont has attempted the impos- one of the things that can help people understand it a off-task behavior, with some students “observably sible. As a part of the Flexible Pathways Initiative, little bit better is having...the state and the legislature working on assignments from other classes, viewing every student in grades 7 - 12 is required to build their saying ‘yes we support this direction.’” YouTube videos...queuing songs on playlists, toggling own personalized learning plan. Seven years after the District leaders, state legislators, and governors, between Summit and entertainment websites, or passage of that mandate, Vermont high schools are the ball is in your court. Educators like Cox and Fraza pausing on work screens while chatting with neigh- making that goal look not quite so impossible. are ready to lean into student-centered PL. Students bors,” according to the report. Clearly, technology Is the Green Mountain State’s model the gold stan- are depending on it. Now take the Vermont Flexible alone is not enough to engage students —the classroom dard for personalized learning? There are a number Pathways model and replicate it. environment and school culture need to reinforce for of structural factors working in Vermont’s favor. students that their voice matters. Vermont is a majority-white state and persistent racial Students’ names have been changed to protect their Summit Learning, in a response to the report, segregation is rarely a source of educational inequi- identities. pointed to systemic factors such as inadequate facili- ties. And at just over 600,000 residents, Vermont is ties and teacher absenteeism as the cause of Summit’s smaller than Rhode Island, which can make imple- ASHER LEHRER-SMALL B'20 wishes his high school insufficiencies in the district. “Our program was not menting new reforms less complicated. Also, Vermont had an iLab class. designed to directly address the systemic and organi- education spending is high relative to other states: on zational issues that the Institute of Education Policy’s average, Vermont schools enjoy nearly 17,900 dollars report has cited in Providence,” their response says. “It of funding per pupil, the fifth most per pupil funding in

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

NEWS

06

BUYING, SELLING, BEING

BY Anabelle Johnston ILLUSTRATION Floria Tsui DESIGN Ella Rosenblatt

Scrolling through TikTok is not unlike dissolving understand better than I do that personhood is entan- scrolling reveals an endless selection of related posts, into a loop of repeating soundbites and punchlines gled with purchasing power, and to participate online as the apps generate individual collections of more as the definition between each video blurs, and time today is to be a consumer. things you might like. folds into itself. I spend hours watching teens pantoDepop speaks to the Gen-Z rejection of fast mime the same songs, dogs patter across the screen fashion and linear projection of style, as Y2K crop +++ to the same childlike voice-overs, and artists reveal tops are layered with flared jeans reminiscent of the their creations with the same “before-and-after” Both apps have been extremely popular among teen- 1970s, repurposing old pieces to create a cacophonous template. Occasionally, a celebrity will appear out of agers for years and recently have grown to be recog- image that diverges from runway trends. Other platplace, unsure of the proper facial expressions or hand nized as platforms to be reckoned with by investors, forms have mimicked Depop’s model with less success. gestures to accompany their carefully-edited perfor- college students, and baffled millennial culture writers. Instagram’s “checkout” feature and Pinterest’s shopmance that misses the purpose of the platform entirely. 90 percent of Depop’s 15 million active users are under ping options streamline the I see it, I like it, I want it, I While Facebook albums and Instagram posts broad- the age of 26, and approximately 37 percent of the 1 buy it process, but still rely on heavily-stylized images cast a curated version of everyday life, TikTok cele- billion TikTok users worldwide are under the age of 19. and branding. As tempting as it is to purchase the brates self-made creators. The app is aware of its own Both apps are concentrated around the same age demo- Pinterest board of my ideal life, it feels too complaslapstick gluttony, providing a suite of simple editing graphic, attracting a variety of users due to their acces- cent—and expensive—for me to ever press Buy. Instead tools that allow for universal participation. Everyone sibility, a value important to untrained youth looking of directing users to brands like For Love and Lemons on the app unapologetically clamors for attention, to create content. Both TikTok and Depop grew out of to purchase a hat showcased in the picture just pinned, providing relief from the online minefield of feigned foreign platforms—China and Italy, respectively—and Depop places individuals, instead of corporations, on authenticity. both have developed around the ‘globalized teenager’ either end of the selling spectrum. The creators of I am swallowed by the same wormhole of capitalist while blending technology with modern youth culture. Depop understand that identity is advanced marketing self-creation when browsing the virtual marketplace Sociologists Dr. Kaylene Williams and Dr. Robert Page of the self and everything, by extension, is for sale. of Depop, downloaded in pursuit of a pair of broken-in postulate that Zoomers who grew up in the aftermath This idea of commodifiable selfhood is built into the Oxfords to save myself from blisters and overspending. of 9/11 and during the rise of school violence often fabric of the app and bought into by this generation as Like most Gen-Z-centered software, the quintessen- value security and self-sufficiency, rejecting large a whole. The thrifty and inexpensive nature of the app tial Depop shopping experience occurs on a mobile establishments in favor of the individual. allows for fluidity of expression, as long as one pays for interface instead of the desktop, as the app is designed In their formative years, popular franchises such it. to mimic the social media revered by this generation. as Hannah Montana and High School Musical introThe Instagram-inspired “explore” page features estab- duced this independence to tweens on the cusp of +++ lished shops that mimic magazine photoshoots along- adolescence, featuring characters that dress and act side girls taking mirror selfies of “ugly” ski sweaters in their own self-interest. Hannah Montana’s father Similarly, TikTok puts “regular people” on both sides that have swung back into “fashion.” I’m greeted by may have played an important role in her life, but of the screen, rejecting the notion that advanced a plethora of Dickies garments, novelty earrings, and Hannah had an independent career and final say over editing or equipment is necessary for quality producmulticolored clogs, all tagged as the CUTEST ever her actions as an artist and young woman, inspiring a tion. Although many college students and adults look and #vintage. As I fill my virtual shopping bag with generation of viewers to want the same for themselves. down upon the short clips as low-brow entertainment, secondhand acquisitions, I become aware of how According to a 2011 study published by the Journal TikTok provides the tools for creators to film whatsimilar each article of clothing is despite the personal of Behavioral Studies in Business, in breaking from ever they desire while the app learns what viewers nature of the pick. The collection of granny sweaters, norms of other generations, Gen-Z exists as a diverse want to see. The app’s Chinese parent company, midi-skirts, and pastel mock-necks sitting in my cart but cohesive web. Coupled with the constant formation ByteDance, bought Musical.ly in November 2017 and could have been sold by one Urban Outfitters-type of new social media platforms, this environment led to merged the platforms in August 2018 to create an app store. Each seller has their own “brand” for sale, and the creation of a generation more interconnected than for short form videos set to music. The music itself is yet they are eerily similar, as the daily eclectic mix of ever before, as Zoomers constantly seek the accep- a phenomena, with heavy synthesizers, distorted clothing “featured” by Depop complements itself in tance of their peers. Whether that acceptance takes the voices, and bass drops that soundtrack transitions or a chaotic fashion. Peer-to-peer purchasing on Depop form of likes or stylistic affirmations, this development serve as punchlines. One of the most popular songs, allows users to shop the closet of the cool kids at school, primed Gen-Z for both Depop and TikTok, as the inter- “Lottery” by K Camp, is used in the viral Renegade equating the act of buying with emulating and being. dance created by 14-year-old Jalaiah Harmon. The faces are designed to fit Zoomer needs. TikTok and Depop provide avenues for anyone to In 2011, the Italian culture and design magazine song has a repeating drum track, the word renegade is be a creator and content curator; the only requisite is Pig created Depop to allow readers to purchase the spoken by a breathy female voice, and a man says “go” a cell phone and sense of self. Unlike long-gone Vine clothing and accessories featured in each issue. This multiple times before breathing heavily. The clip itself or millennial-appealing Poshmark—the respective invention—and its descent from magazine format— is unspectacular, but made popular by its simplicity. predecessors for both platforms—TikTok and Depop complicated the distinction between the emulation It crescendos with repeating beats at the end of the 11 are designed specifically to fit the needs and online of trends and the forced participation in the market to seconds, creating a format perfectly suited for dancing. habits of Gen-Z, merging AI-driven in-app naviga- be an active member of a community. With the advent The Renegade dance can be—and has been— tion with shameless self-promotion. Although these of Depop’s selling function, and subsequent arrival learned by anyone, which inspires everyone to try. As platforms were not designed by this generation, they of Groupon executive Maria Raga in 2014, the app the app is designed for rapid mass-sharing, sounds are perfectly suited to meet youth culture in ways became a marketplace for teens to buy, sell, and most and dances go viral, then disappear into obscurity that other online marketplaces and social media apps importantly, trade. There are structural similarities with unprecedented frequency. Content is constantly cannot. Gen-Z Zoomers are typically characterized between Depop and Instagram: both networks allow in conversation with itself, facilitated by the app’s as entrepreneurial and tech-savvy, traits evident in users to follow other profiles—or personal storefronts— duet feature that allows for YoutTube-style reactions the 15-year-old TikTok stars with brand deals and and hashtag their own posts to increase their following. to other videos. Users utilize a split screen suited for teenage Depop sellers that have designed custom The apps complement each other, too: teens will buy a comic additions or call-and-response dances, tagging shipping labels. At 18, I am on the cusp of the target top for a single Instagram post and sell it the next day the original creator either in the comments or by demographic, as I am notably older than TikTok to someone else, creating a globally-shared wardrobe simply using the same song. celebrities and middle school entrepreneurs. And that at once promotes individuality while hovering Unlike Instagram and Depop, TikTok first presyet, I still participate by watching and buying in awe. over an exact stylistic epicenter. The grid format ents its users with the “ForYou” page, an endless Viral TikTok dances and “vintage Depop style” have utilized by both apps provides omniscient obser- algorithm-based amalgamation of videos, collected pervaded the media I consume, from Instagram meme vance—the user sees everything in juxtaposition while from past viewing habits. While “explore” pages accounts to New York street style, until—at least for exploring posts by various accounts, though similar- are common, TikTok places its “ForYou” in the foreme—immersion into these platforms has become inev- ities in taste help conceal that each storefront has a front, as the first thing viewers access when opening itable. In some ways, Gen-Z creators and store-runners different owner. Clicking on one picture and intuitively the app. Although each video on this page is distinct,

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27 MARCH 2020

Gen-Z SelfAdvertisement on Tiktok and Depop the longer one spends on the app, the more focused between A.I.-generated trends and user-generated Young TikTok stars often collaborate on videos (some this page becomes. I was astounded to learn that my trends becomes inconsequential. even living together to perform this task with ease), friends’ ForYou pages didn’t feature Adam Driverchoreographing together to create a cohesive brand for inspired videos, and that TikTok had regurgitated my +++ the app and themselves. Charlie D’Amelio, arguably weeklong obsession with Driver until it was unclear the most famous of TikTok creators, is often referred who controlled the content I absorbed. Like on Depop, For many, TikTok and Depop provide a space to subvert to as “having the hype,” terminology that is specific a similar instance of hovering occurs, less centered the norms of fast fashion and mass media. Instead, to the app and perfectly encapsulates the instantaaround Doc Martens and instead based on the indi- they offer equally consumerist alternatives focused neous phenomenon that dominates the platform. Just vidual’s preferences as learned by ByteDance’s A.I. on the individual and Gen-Z as a whole without regard as dance trends go viral overnight, D’Amelio rose to technology. While popular content on Instagram for older media traditions. However, some stereotypes fame with startling speed. She frequently dances with may range from celebrity content to meme pages and and structures have been recycled from generations other stars, and her videos are often dueted by users YouTube celebrates a slew of gamer-celebrities and past. The ubiquitous TikTok e-boy—often distinguish- hoping to be noticed, sometimes even cheering her on Bon Appétit stars, TikTok and Depop are uniquely able by his graphic tee layered over a striped long- or “hyping her up.” The comment section of her app is definable. To be popular on TikTok is to fit a specific sleeve shirt, black nailpolish, and middle part—is not bustling with people defending and attacking her, most mold, though that mold was created in Gen-Z’s image unlike the 80s moody heartthrob in his embodiment notably for her normalcy. Her videos are often singleof itself and distilled through A.I. of alternative attraction. Similarly, tag sales have long takes of her dancing in a sparsely decorated room, and Both apps manipulate selfhood into profitable made a market out of repurposing another’s goods. her popularity speaks to the value of the everyday. shapes without the vague terminology of influencer, as Yet the method employed by both apps feels revolu- Anyone could be Charlie D’Amelio, and youth across the influencer paradigm doesn’t really apply when the tionary because they connect teens across the world the globe are both competing and collaborating to fill whole platform is—literally or figuratively—market- with others in a way that allows everyone to feel seen that role. place. Teens embody trends and then sell these and heard. Rebranding into the compact platforms of Both Depop and TikTok facilitate connections commodifiable personas in time to move on to another, TikTok and Depop offers a new audience and necessi- within an insular community of teen creators that from one popular dance to another clunky sneaker tates movement forward into the technological abyss outsiders may try to contribute to but never can. The style. This immediate turnover and demand for atten- of endless content. technology is designed to reinforce what is already tion requires users to self-advertise and incessantly Other social media sites like Twitter, Instagram, popular, dictated by what interests Gen-Z. The apps promote their own material and brand; in allowing and Facebook are designed to give space for users contain an ongoing conversation that is virtually inacanyone to become a star, everyone vies for the spot- to shout into the void, projecting their innermost cessible to those who have not already been listening, light. On the one hand, these apps create a democratic thoughts or the most palatable versions of their lives. uncovering not only what Zoomers like, but, more space for cultural production, but they are also eerily But social media sites popular with today’s youth are importantly, what they are willing to pay for. Scrolling totalizing. Depop commodifies style and TikTok does designed to do the opposite. After purchasing a pair through TikTok, I often glance at Depop advertisethe same to dances and memes. Together the apps of enamel earrings featuring two cats breaking into a ments, as both apps speak to the same audience—those produce a cultural drift wherein everything converges vault, I left a review for the Depop storefront and the born too late to be YouTube famous but who still recogon a single center or trend. The constant exchange of owner left one for me as a customer. Our success as nize the value of the vlog and the profitability of the ideas through these platforms rests on their accessi- individuals in the virtual space is contingent upon mundane. I’m not sure how completely I fit into that bility and the ease with which the apps learn what its mutual respect for others’ roles and the understanding camp, but I still can’t stop scrolling. audience likes. The prominence of TikTok cosplay that we need each other. Many users of the app are may not rest on user desire to watch 15 seconds of an both buyers and sellers, engaging in a trade that ANABELLE JOHNSTON B'23 refuses to put her selfamateur actor dressed in 1920s garb performing over- mimics evolving roles in the real world. We are not hood up for sale. ly-animated hand motions, but rather the algorithm’s simply consumers or producers, but constantly self-adinsistence on showcasing videos tagged #POV (point vocating and self-advertising. of view). In this contained world, content creators Likewise, the format of TikTok facilitates conversabenefit from the app’s design, until the distinction tion and communication across videos on a split screen.

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

SCIENCE + TECH

08

Norman Fucking Rockwell! John D. Fucking Rockefeller, Jr.

Vibe check Checking your privilege March 2020 November 2016

MAR

Ferdinand de Saussure Linda Sarsour Stock market Bone broth Clapping for healthcare/ sanitation workers Adequately paying healthcare/sanitation workers

Sex Education (2019-present) Abstinence-only education

Elsa Elphaba

VS

Reform Revolution

False choices Mayo Pete Texas Pete Quarantine Quadratini OK boomer I'm baby Groucho Karl

One Weird Trick Trick Mirror

MA

Fred Moten Ted Noten Big Structural Bailey Birdie Sanders

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SPORTS

27 MARCH 2020

Southern New England's largest weekly Northern Olde England's smallest daily

RCH

Social distancing Conscious uncoupling Caroline Calloway Kellyanne Conway

Uncut Gems (2019) Birthstones Mimesis A meme thesis Joe Biden Flo Rida Sia CIA Rent freeze A buffering RENT torrent

S

Yo mama ur mom

The Masked Singer A nice Jewish boy named Max Singer Flattening the curve A fattening bean curd

Chapo Trap House Choco Taco Kosher for Passover Gluten-free for Lent The demise of the journalism industry The demise of all industries

ADNESS

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

Liberty green Gotham Greens Socialism Barbarism

SPORTS

10

CIVIC DUTY CALLS

BY Marina Hunt DESIGN Alex Westfall

CONTESTED CIVIC EDUCATION IN PROVIDENCE

Standing in front of a poster board she had prepared against the State of Rhode Island. Plaintiffs in the emphasized the importance of a sufficiently educated for the Providence Community Day at Asa Messer lawsuit allege that the state has failed “to provide citizenry to the success of this great experiment in Elementary, Chloe Feit, an eighth-grader at Nathan- all students a meaningful opportunity to obtain an republican government. The complaint cites Horace Bishop public school, said she felt fortunate to have education adequate to prepare them to be capable citi- Mann’s 1846 Tenth Annual Report to the Massachusetts taken an elective last year that integrated civics and zens.” The students are represented by Michael Rebell, State Board of Education in which he wrote that “under current events into one course. For Feit, one of the professor at Columbia Law School and litigator experi- our republican government…education…[must be] highlights of the course was analyzing news stories enced in education law. The defendants include Rhode sufficient to qualify each citizen for the civil and social and discussing the constitutional issues they raised. Island Governor Gina Raimondo, Commissioner of duties he will be called to discharge.” In other words, This exercise helped her grasp the greater meaning of Education Ken Wagner, as well as the state’s House without citizens capable of participating in public life, political events happening every day. the democractic system might not survive. Speaker and Senate President. “I’m lucky enough that I’m learning about this Nearly two centuries later, state and federal instiThe pending lawsuit, Cook v. Raimondo, seeks because I have a teacher who agrees that kids should to establish public education as a right under the US tutions continue to struggle to define what constitutes know about it,” Feit said to the College Hill Independent. Constitution, the goal being to bring attention to a “sufficient” education and how to achieve it. “It has nothing to do with being smart, it has to do with educational shortcomings in Rhode Island and, ultiTom Kerr-Vanderslice, Rhode Island Executive being able to obtain that knowledge.” Director of Generation Citizen, an organization that mately, across the nation. Community Day took place as part of an initiative works to incorporate action civics into school curriculed by Rhode Island’s Commissioner of Education lums, described to the Independent the “slow whittling” +++ Angélica Infante-Green to involve parents, students, of civics from the US public school curriculum that has and educators in the process of developing a long- The lawsuit responds to a 1973 Supreme Court case, San taken place over the last several decades. A key turning term plan for school improvement. Three Community Antonio Independent School Dist. v. Rodriguez, in which point, he said, was George W. Bush’s 2002 No Child Design Teams hosted the event, where they presented the Court considered, but failed to conclude, whether Left Behind (NCLB) policy. This policy precipitated their recommendations and invited the public to give the Fourteenth Amendment guarantees students the an education movement focused primarily on high feedback. The teams were made up of 45 parents, fundamental right to an education that provides them stakes testing. While math, English, and science came teachers, students, and community stakeholders with “the basic minimal skills necessary for the enjoy- into the spotlight, social sciences became further and who were nominated to lead the charge in developing ment of the rights of speech and of full participation in further deprioritized, taking with it any real emphasis community-based recommendations for the state’s the political process.” The inconclusive outcome left on civics. Turnaround Plan. Meeting weekly between December a door open for this group of Rhode Island students to Following these measures, only 23 percent of 2019 and March 2020, the Design Teams worked ask the Court to reopen this question and affirm this eighth graders polled from a national sample reached alongside Commissioner Infante-Green to develop a right. the “proficiency” level on the most recent examination strategy to turn around Providence public schools. One of the core issues raised by the complaint is of civics knowledge administered in 2014. A report The Turnaround Plan has been in the works since what constitutes these “basic minimal skills” and how by the Campaign for the Civic Mission of the Schools Johns Hopkins released a report last June that detailed they should be developed. Testifying for the complaint, found in 2011 that less than a fifth of high school the systemic dysfunctions that have long plagued the one plaintiff noted that his high school social studies seniors could explain how citizen participation beneProvidence Public School District’s (PPSD) educa- course taught formal facts about American govern- fits democracy. tion system. The report found that only 10 percent of ment institutions, but failed to show the relationship NCLB established a set of nationally mandated students in Providence are performing at or above between these institutions and the student’s future requirements intended to equalize educational opporgrade level in math and 14 percent in English language role as an active citizen. Another reported not having tunities for disadvantaged students by holding all arts, indicating a lack of quality curriculum to guide received any dedicated civics instruction during high schools to the same standard. Despite the good intenacademic instruction. This not only impacts students, school at all. Further, none of her teachers had been tions of the policy, critics argue that the policy ended but also teachers, who reported that a lack of profes- trained in the area of civics. All felt that Rhode Island up harming the quality of education. Because schools sional development opportunities has left them feeling public schools were failing to prepare students to be that didn’t show improvement in testing were penalunsupported. The report also highlighted that parents civically engaged in their youth and their futures. ized, public school curriculums became focused on are dissatisfied with the opportunities available to These testimonies suggest that “basic minimal boosting standardized test scores, diminishing the engage with and give feedback to their children’s skills” do not simply imply a basic civics course but attention given to fostering diverse forms of critical schools. The Turnaround Plan, expected to come out in rather a more comprehensive and engaged form of thinking. Kerr-Vanderslice recalls that his Providence April, will be one step in the long project of addressing civic preparation. Not just a primer on US history and high school would throw celebrations for classes every these issues. its institutions, as civics has traditionally been under- year they showed improvement “because that meant stood, but an education that prepares students fully they were gonna get better funding.” +++ to participate in their democracy. Student societies, +++ drama clubs, and school trips to the State House all While the recent Johns Hopkins report precipitated make the cut according to Rebell, who emphasized a new urgency in the state’s response to the PPSD’s that while a basic civics course can be an important The legacy of the NCLB policy and its unintended shortcomings, the fight for an adequate education step toward ensuring that students receive an adequate consequences speaks to the limited ability of legislahas been a long one for Rhode Islanders. Local educa- education, “It’s not the whole ballgame.” tion to engender change, and in particular, the enortors, lawmakers, and community members agree If Chief Judge Smith decides in favor of the defen- mous change that is urgently needed to “turn around” that the state has long underserved its students and dants, Rebell and his co-counsel will appeal to the the PPSD. The Civic Literacy Act (CLA), a bill introthat community engagement is an important part of Supreme Court. A decision in favor of the plaintiffs duced by House Representative Brian Newberry in achieving sustainable educational reform. would bring the case to trial, and the country one step January for the third year in a row, might challenge this This becomes difficult to achieve, however, when closer to a formal affirmation that students do in fact assumption. If it passes, the bill would mandate that public schools are doing little to inform students have a right to an education adequate to prepare them every high school student in Rhode Island take a full about how to engage with the state institutions whose to be capable citizens. “No other judge has said that,” year of civics before graduating. purpose, at least in theory, is to represent them. As Feit said Rebell in an interview with the Independent. “The The bill now defines civics in terms of developing a highlighted at Community Day, not all students today weight of the federal government or the US Supreme knowledge of US history and foundational documents, have access to a civically-engaged education, and not Court, if we get that far, emphasizing its importance— the roles and responsibilities of federal, state, and local all share Feit’s privilege of parents who have the time, that would be game-changing.” governments, as well as the development of skills to resources, and channels to become aware of events analyze, debate and evaluate media and public policy like Community Day. issues. The bill did not, however, always look like this. +++ 14 Rhode Island students raised this issue in Kerr-Vanderslice, who, in addition to being the November 2018 when they filed a federal lawsuit Since the eighteenth century, the nation’s leaders have local director of Generation Citizen, is one of the

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lead writers of the bill, actually testified against Juanita Sanchez high school curriculum. All students earlier versions of it. “The specific types of learning take three community development classes across [Representative Newberry] was referring to in his bill 10th, 11th, and 12th grade that take them out into the were already happening—US history is very well repre- Providence community. sented in the Rhode Island curriculum right now,” said “I want them to know what the world is when they Kerr-Vanderslice in conversation with the Independent. go out into it,” said Testa. While civics continues It was not enough to simply tell schools to teach to follow a more traditional curriculum at Juanita civics—it was important to define how it should be Sanchez, Testa is working to marry this course with taught. In its original form, the bill did not speak to the community development program to ultimately the kind of reform that schools really needed because engage all of her students in some form of active civics. our representatives could not understand what Still, Rita Kerr-Vanderslice, a Rhode Island high schools needed without hearing from the students and school social studies teacher (and the sister of Tom teachers themselves. Representative Newberry was Kerr-Vanderslice), emphasized to the Independent receptive to this message and, with the help of commu- that few students currently enjoy the privilege of an nity input, reshaped the bill to emphasize engaged engaged civics education. civics beyond classroom learning. “What I would love to see is a whole restructuring While the CLA is a thoughtful effort to return of how we think about social studies, putting civics civics education to the central position it deserves in at the center of it,” said Kerr-Vanderslice. “You gotta public school curriculums, the outcomes of the NCLB understand the world that you live in, and the rest of it policy speak to the limitations of a bill like the CLA and is frosting.” its potential for unintended consequences. Ken Wagner, Commissioner of Education at the time the Cook v. Raimondo lawsuit was filed and a MARINA HUNT B’21 loved civics class in high school. defendant in the case, stresses this point. While he agrees that civic preparation should take a central position in public education, he is skeptical that state-mandated requirements like the CLA can achieve systemic change. While not expressly opposed to requirements, Wagner believes that pursuing too many at once fosters a context in which representatives lose track of individual goals and end up achieving very little. “The government never stops doing things. It just stops doing things well,” he said. Wagner learned this working at the New York State Department of Education from 2009 to 2015. “We did a whole lot of things that not only nobody was asking for, but there was just almost violent opposition to,” Wagner said. Wagner and his boss would go on listening tours, visiting 1,200-seat auditoriums to get community feedback on policies. Despite the federal grant funds, surplus money put toward education, and the requirements, people weren't happy. “People would just scream at us for two hours,” Wagner said. Their discontent was in response to formulaic approaches to school improvement, like NCLB or Race to the Top, and other state-mandated requirements. “None of it was sustainable,” Wagner said. “All of the work that we did for 5-6 years came undone.” Instead of legally-mandated requirements, Wagner insists that a greater focus on grassroots demand at the parent, student, and teacher level is needed to achieve sustainable change in education. “The real solution is to activate communities,” Wagner said, clarifying that when students, teachers, and administrators on the ground become invested in an issue, “It’s not just an abstract requirement that gets a lot of attention and quietly fades away, it’s a real thing that people will have to pay attention to.” +++ Ariana Testa, assistant principal of Juanita Sanchez high school, illustrates the power of active community demand for change. She believes that any administrator can find a way to build civics into the curriculum, insisting, “If you want something in your schedule, you can make it happen.” Working with Generation Citizen, Testa has incorporated a community development program into the

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

METRO

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BY Emily Yang ILLUSTRATION Alex Westfall DESIGN Ella Rosenblatt

He saw the first one when he caught its corner behind a placed carefully on your skin. Chinese characters for which the language was only dust-bound volume of textbooks. A wrinkled page torn one of many possible pronunciations. He wondered if from a datum notebook, surface gridded tightly by This happens whenever I turn my back on the present. Wu spoke Taiwanese fluently, or could only comprefaded cyan squares. When he unfolded it, he found an And I do just that, without fail, every time I dream of hend pinches of simple phrases like Ling. Maybe he unmistakably boyish scrawl fluttering inside, printed this almanac of ours, or mine. couldn’t speak Taiwanese at all—he did remember her in a paled blue ink. At the end of every other phrase, mentioning a Chinese ex or two. Again reaching no the oily ink bled into the paper like a tiny, bursting As this nothingness spreads, the blue notebook begins conclusions, he slipped the note back into the abyss blueberry, a disquieting idiosyncrasy that Wei couldn’t to fade away as well. When I reach out to stop it from between Multivariable Calculus and Differential quite pin down as intentional or not. The letter was disappearing, my fingers touch nothing. Equations. signed with one Chinese character: 無, as in “none.” Too unusual an iteration of the syllable for a family Yours, +++ name—probably a pseudonym, maybe a homonym for 無 his real surname. Wei and Ling had been seeing each other for the past The content was nothing out of the ordinary: a +++ two years, but he only wrote her a real, hard-copy letter love letter addressed to Wei’s current lover, written once, after a somewhat dramatic argument on a spring by a former boyfriend of hers—perhaps from college, A few days later, when Wei finished Siddhartha, he evening. They had been discussing their romantic maybe even high school. She had told him about most entered her study to return the book to its place. As histories that night, circling around 信義 Plaza with of her ex-lovers, an assortment of sheepish Taiwanese always, it had moved him deeply, but over time it struck cups of papaya milk in hand. boys she’d inadvertently charmed growing up, but him as far too naïve. Somewhere within and across his “I was super hung up on Janice when I first met you,” he didn’t recall one whose surname was a “Wu.” words, Hesse suggested that all organic things had an he said as they plopped onto a marble bench in the Still, such a detail hardly mattered, he thought. Wei essence, which neither preceded nor followed exis- clearing. quickly put it behind him as he slipped the letter back tence—it was existence, and in the fact of their exis“Janice, huh,” she said. “I used to have the biggest in its hiding place, continuing his quest for her ragged, tence-essence, all things, Dalai Lamas and rivers alike, crush on Andy. On and off for maybe two years, a year traditional Mandarin edition of Siddhartha that he’d were equal. Wei wasn’t the type to brood over these before I met you.” wanted to borrow once more. philosophical technicalities—he was a simple guy from “Andy Lau?” It wasn’t until the next day that the clumsy Hsinchu County, really—so he didn’t question any of “No, not the singer, stupid. Andy Chiu.” lettering of this “Wu” resurfaced somewhat rudely. Hesse’s logic the first time around. By the third read, “Wait, Andy Andy?” Ling had tugged on his red tie, pulling him in for a however, he knew that no society could function on “Yeah. My Andy.” welcome-home kiss. When Wei tucked a few strands of this radically egalitarian notion. As idealistic as he was Tides of people rearranged themselves before him, hair behind her ears, a blotch of blue split on the side of (he still thought Taiwan could one day attain indepen- shifting and slipping through the interstices of her pale neck, an inch below her jawline. Startled, he dence from China), he acknowledged that it was only towering department store buildings. A nameless and pulled back. human to pigeonhole different existences in a way that shapeless feeling sifted through his chest, as did a stray “What’s wrong?” Ling asked, frowning. Wei privileged one or two over the rest. stirring he couldn’t quite articulate into a thought. blinked a few times, and with every rapid blink the He mulled this over as he slid the paperback into “Ling,” he said after a while. “If I didn’t exist—if there burst shrunk back down to the small mole on her neck. its former place, moseying around his non-conclusions. was no ‘Wei’ in your world, or any world, as stupid as “Nothing,” he said. “Just thought I saw something.” Eyes flitting around the room for his next read, he that sounds—would you go for Andy, do you think?” caught a glimpse of the letter once more. Ling furrowed her brows. “I don’t know. Maybe?” +++ Strangely, it was now jutting out from between the For a long time, they sat on the bench without saying calculus textbooks. Wei was sure he had positioned the another word. Every now and then, a sound would Ling: letter just as he had found it, lying in wait at the back wash over them, dipping toes into the capillaries of the shelf—but there it was, announcing itself from of silence they’d gathered between them. But none Sometimes I dream of an almanac that contains all the between two moldering college textbooks. reached either of them. answers to your existence. A calendar that divulges He pulled the letter out and gave it a more thor“What’s up?” she finally asked, not bothering to every single detail I need in order to demystify you in ough read. Upon closer inspection, he concluded, Wu’s hide the exasperation in her voice. my mind. It’s handmade, two days a page, jotted in writing was mediocre at best. Each ghostly burst of Wei let it sit for a moment, unable to bring himself my own handwriting across pages and pages of those blue seemed compensatory, a Rorschach stammering to speak. He felt like the male protagonist of a poorly datum notebooks that people use for math class. Every an apology for the trite flourish just now penned and written shoujo manga. “I thought you would say no,” day I flip to the next page, and crucial facts about you ostensibly read. He jumped from one thought onto the he said. “I guess I wanted you to say no.” emerge in deep red ink. next without transitions, paying no mind to punctuaLing looked at him, face streaked with confusion. tion and spelling. “But that was just a hypothetical situation.” At the beginning of these dreams, I rejoice. I feel myself To top it all off, the text was an incoherent amalgam “I mean, you still talk to him almost every day,” he becoming whole as I amass more and more fragments of English, simplified and traditional Chinese, and said. “Andy.” He stood up. “But it’s fine. I can take this.” of who you are. The more words I collect, the more even Japanese. In English, he alternated between the “Take what?” She bolted upward to meet his line of textures you take up, and the more you begin to take pseudo-poetic (“You make me feel a deep maroon”) vision, blinking fast. Fighting off tears, as she tended shape, like a slab of marble chiseled to life. And some- and the cliché (“I’m so lucky to call you mine”). In to do after any hint of disagreement. Probably hoping where in this steady flow of words and images, your Chinese, he simply recycled truisms that he’d spell that Wei wouldn’t notice, but he did. existence comes to fruition. I think to myself that if I go wrong, either by accident or to deliver a bad pun. For “This. I mean, imagine if I said I’d probably go for on like this, maybe one day you’ll become whole to me, the adage 愛不是佔有，而是欣賞 (“Love is not posses- Janice if you were gone. Someone I talk to all the time. I too. Only then, I know, will I be able to touch you. sion, but veneration”), he used the 心 that meant don’t know.” “heart” instead of the correct 欣, which signified happi“What? That’s not what I said,” she said, voice But whenever I try to turn back the days, to seek out an ness or liking. The one line of Japanese was simply an rising. “You asked a question; I just answered. It’s an older note I’ve long forgotten, everything disappears. elementary 愛してる, scribbled in messy hiragana to alternate universe, too. Like, that was my answer for an It always begins where my fingertips first land on the close out the letter. alternate fucking universe—” page. It’s ruthless—as soon as I brush it, a nothingness Wei wondered what Wu would have written if “I’ll take it, Ling. I’ll take it. You don’t have to contracts and expands until it blots out the words I’ve Taiwanese had a corporeal form, one independent of explain yourself.”

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“What am I explaining?” she yelled. “我在解釋屁 against indulgence. He listened to A-mei strictly before out. If you’re not in my future, there’s nothing left up 啊!” she dyed her hair purple, and he often laced his speech there for me. I know that I can physically live without with spells of Taiwanese jargon and four-character you; but try as I might, I don’t think I can truly be happy +++ Chinese idioms. Rarely did he feel out of place, but was without you in my life. I’m not saying this to create some sort of weird obligation in you to stay with me there such a thing as feeling out of time? In stilted steps, Wei walked Ling back to her apartment, Wei thought about this as he glanced outside his forever—I just want you to know that this is how I genufeeling like a buoy in a sea of fluid concrete. The whole window, where rain had begun to clap down in sheets. inely feel. walk home, Ling rambled unforgivingly on, now and He fixed his gaze on the beads that pinned them+++ then swiping away tears of defiance. Her dark brown selves against the glass, the reds, whites, and yellows eyes, he noticed, looked almost golden as passing of skyscraper light mottled into one hazy whole. As streetlights dappled over her. he watched the grains of light flicker in the distance, Ling: “You don’t understand how it feels,” Ling said, “to a scene emerged in his mind, and he began to underhave you invalidate how I feel about you like that. To stand. Standing under a summer downpour, he and Today I followed a stray dog as he pissed over almost have you be jealous and think you have to ‘take’ or Ling each held a stack of papers listing their grievances every utility pole in my neighborhood. Clearly an alpha ‘endure’ something, when it literally doesn’t have to be with one another in blue ink, angrily flinging demands male type, the black thing leapt from one pillar onto that way.” at the other. Before they could get at the particularities the next, questioning his own authority not a single “Literally?” of their differences, however, they needed to keep the time. By the time he hit his third pole, somehow not yet “Literally. As I said, we’re talking about a fucking rain from drumming their words to a place beyond out of piss with which to mark his territory, I wondered alternate universe here. This is one universe. The one recognition. They needed to construct a grammar out at which point a word would begin to belong to me the where I might go for Andy ‘cause I’m bored and you of their disparities, to stitch together a structure under way that piece of land now belonged to him. Whether don’t exist is another. It’s an alternate fucking uni—” which they could coexist, under which their words and seven uses of a word might do the trick, or whether I’d “Ling. I heard you the first time.” He thought his feelings could remain legible. Then, and only then, have to piss on it, too, to secure its place in my vocabwords would come out gentle, but they just sounded could they sieve out a shared language that was at once ulary. And then I thought about you. (Don’t worry, I won’t pee on you.) tired and harsh. beautiful and sustainable. After he sent her home, he managed somehow to After a while, Wei checked his phone again, but wade back to his own apartment, maybe via bus, maybe there was no reply. He thought for a minute, then added There aren’t any real equivalents of possessive via the MRT. Maybe by foot. He couldn’t remember a leftover 我愛你我愛你我愛你!, half in jest, mostly not pronouns in Chinese—nothing like “yours” or “mine.” how he got there. at all. No matter the language, he always had trouble Just pronouns and nouns with the appendage 的 Rolling back and forth on his plain navy sheets, saying those three words seriously, heavily, though he dangling from their sides. I wonder which tongue I he tossed words around in his head to no particular had never said them without meaning it. Each time he should use to best express my wish for you to be mine. I end. 嫉妒。羨慕。 愛慕。No matter how many times spelled out the phrase, he felt like someone was taking can never make up my mind: one moment, my limited he mouthed them, he couldn’t arrive at the right way an ice cream dipper and carving out a piece of his chest. Japanese seems to be the best fit; the next, it has to be my slightly less limited English. to phrase the fundamental differences between these words. Accepting defeat, he drafted a quick apology +++ Maybe no language is adequate enough to transmit text and sent it after one proofread. It’s fine, she wrote back almost immediately. I He couldn’t recall how he finally got around to writing what I feel to you. Maybe I’ll only ever know what I’m understand where you’re coming from, of course. And it the next day, but he did. It was the first time he had talking about when I talk about love when we’re just I’m sorry, too—I never want you to feel that way again. bothered writing anything lengthy by hand outside of looking each other in the eye and feeling like we’re But you have to give me the benefit of the doubt next academic or professional endeavors. That night, she enough. time, seriously. If this happens again, you better apolo- was busy attending a high school reunion. For two gize with a full-on letter, salutations and all. A text isn’t hours, as Ling downed Asahi beer at some izakaya, he In any case, here I am, doing my best in every tongue enough!! labored dutifully away, legs crossed atop a pleather possible, trying to tell you what should be the simplest You’re so old-fashioned, he replied, accompanying swivel chair. In the end, he managed to pen an entire thing in the world to convey. Let me know how I’m the text with a sticker of an old turtle with its spirit six pages, a shamelessly sap-filled encomium to their doing on that front. rising out of its body, though this was hardly true. In love, just the way he knew she’d like it. Like most almost every respect Ling was more modern than women in Wei’s life, Ling despised cheesiness only Yours, 無 Wei—born in Miaoli but raised in Taipei, she called 東 when she wasn’t on its receiving end. 區 alleys her “backyard,” though her experience with Pleased with himself, he read the letter several +++ actual backyards was limited to one study abroad more times and revised it with care, adding embellishexperience in San Jose. And though educated at an ments here and there. No matter how many praises he American school masquerading as “international,” sung, however, he found that his words still fell short of “When I was little,” Ling said, “all I wanted to do was go to the movies. I wanted to abandon Taipei in all those she assuredly passed as a local. At the KTV, she belted how she actually made him feel. out the newest ballads by JJ Lin and Jay Chou without a Like Ling, he boasted plenty of ex-lovers, but none foreign films they were screening. The glossy white trace of self-consciousness. She refused to eat Chinese had made him want to fully possess another as badly, women, waxed men in sleek suits, Japanese animayam, shark fin soup, or swallow nests—telltale symp- or feel as dispossessed as she made him on a daily basis. tion rolling around all restless. Whenever we passed toms of her membership in the strawberry generation. She constantly left him feeling unmoored, and yet she by local theaters, I’d drop super blatant hints to my Wei, on the other hand, never thought twice about grounded him so. This back-and-forth drove him mad parents, like, ‘Sure could use some caramel popcorn whether he passed as local. At the American school he at times, but it also kept him on his toes; as a result, right now!’ I’d even make stuff up, like,『喔，小雨說 attended in Hsinchu, he unanimously won the senior almost every drowsy conversation with her felt fresh, 那家電影院有賣水果糖誒。』You know those fruit superlative for “Most 台,” and he kept diligently in and almost every shared moment revealed something candies they sell in tins? From Grave of the Fireflies?” touch with friends from his local elementary school. new about himself. He wanted to pin Ling onto his Wei nodded slowly, half as customary response, half as the go-ahead for her to continue. Instead, he concerned himself more with taunts about future horizons like a star in the sky. “Anyway, my parents didn’t buy it. We had just how much he acted like an oji-san. His 豆花 orders were This might sound like a lot to you, he scribbled in always notably 養生, articles such as adlay millet and dark blue, but sometimes I think about losing you and moved to the city for a few years, so we needed to save grass jelly crowding his bowl as if insisting belatedly it’s like all the stars in my horizon have been blotted up. Everything was so expensive compared to the

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

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14

run-down shacks they called cinemas back in Miaoli. Wei’s eyes were plastered to the ceiling. As Louis relations before.” That’s what my parents tell me, at least. I don’t really Armstrong crooned, blue and maroon splattered Ling slurped on her noodles. “Yeah?” remember what Miaoli was like.” above like the innards of cracked eggs. “Screw Maggie “Yeah,” he said. “I had the exact thought before They were sprawled across their modestly-sized Cheung,” he said, half-serious. “You’re the most beau- coming. You know how it goes, growing up. At first, bed, overlaid with a water mattress to quell the dense tiful girl in the world.” you try really hard to understand. You ask your parents late-summer heat. City lights blinked outside, shutHe thought she would be smiling or rolling her about Taiwanese politics, but they just say it’s either tered off by white venetian blinds. Louis Armstrong’s eyes when he turned over, but her expression remained pro-China or pro-status-quo. Somewhere along rendition of “I’m in the Mood for Love” twirled on the blank, her gaze fixed above. A few moments later, she the line, it gets old. Their political statements start turntable, which had cost about five red envelopes sighed. sounding like air conditioner buzzing in the backfrom the two combined. Select pieces of music often “I’ve been meaning to say this for a while,” she ground. You just want to watch the NBA game or eat put Ling in an unbelievably chatty mood, and this song murmured, “but I don’t know how to feel when you your 米線 without thinking about power structures topped her personal Hot 100. compliment me in superlatives. It makes me feel like a and colonial histories. It’s normal.” Wei had heard this story at least three times girl in the movies.” She pulled a thin blanket over her “I suppose so,” she replied. “But the thing is, no before, usually at her parents’ prodding at some nose. “And we all know movies aren’t real.” matter how well you tune it out, or how easily you find family banquet. Her parents were the kind who pulled That night, as Wei dimmed the lampshade and yourself ignoring it, it’ll always come back to haunt you, the same five stories out of their sleeves at every slipped into the folds beside her, he thought about how time and time again—whatever that ‘it’ is, anyway.” grand gathering, which typically irritated Wei. But people told their new lovers stories as if the act were She spooned grated garlic from a small jar and dumped somehow, they’d knead each detail into shape with somehow exceptional, as if they hadn’t already told it unceremoniously into her ramen. “I dated this such unabashed affection, such guileless tenderness, past lovers and maybe even crushes the very same Chinese guy way back—just the son of some real recent that Wei would always find himself engrossed as if tales, a dozen times over. 外省人—and all I could think about then was power hearing the tale for the first time. Plus, they’d always structures and colonial histories. I barely knew a thing subconsciously change crucial details here and there, +++ at the time, too.” as middle-aged Taiwanese people do. As a result, Wei It’ll always come back to haunt you, Wei thought would have a good time trying to keep track of the From that day on, the paper scraps made themselves to himself. He had tossed the question around over changes as the stories and small plates of braised known wherever he went. Under the computer in the the years, but maybe that was it. What it meant to be peanuts rolled on out. study, or else lodged somewhere among their records. Taiwanese—it’ll always come back to haunt you. Without a doubt, Ling had inherited this penchant Even outside of the apartment, he could not escape the for repetition. “I don’t remember when I started doing flecks of cyan-and-white: they peppered the tarmac he +++ it,” she continued, “but one day, as I was biking by the trod upon and threatened desks of cubicles wherever theater near my house, I saw this oba-san in line for he went. They slipped into moments big and small, “I’ve never seen you wear that sweater before,” Wei said. the next showing of some Hong Kong film. She was popped up at times expected and unexpected. Ling stopped heaping chili sauce onto her egg pancakes wearing this flowy, bright blue top, with tiny silver In this way, the letters went about terrorizing him and scanned her maroon sweater. She had tucked it jewels on the front that spelled out CHANNEL in the rather indiscriminately. into a pair of loose-fitting jeans, rolled up a few inches font of Chanel. Classic local market find—60NT tops.” above her ankles. As she spoke, Wei rubbed his thumb against the mole +++ “Gift from an old friend,” she said. “Found it at the on her neck without looking. back of my closet the other day.” She stuffed a slice of “Anyway, I remember looking at the edges of that Ling had faded blue streaks in her cropped black 蛋餅 into her mouth. weird flowy top, and something just clicking inside of hair when they first met at a cross-Strait relations “It’s a nice color,” Wei said. “Who’s this friend of me. I braked and locked my bike to a utility pole, and conference. yours?” The matriarch of the breakfast joint set down then I grabbed the corner of her top. It was too flowy They were both visibly older than other attendees, a platter of radish cakes and scallion eggs on their for her to feel my hold on her, so I marched right on in he in a pinstripe suit and her in a button-up blouse and cramped plastic-wrapped table, briefly disrupting the behind her, just like that, posing as her daughter.” pencil skirt, so they naturally struck up a conversa- silence. A smile splayed across her lips. “And that’s how I went tion right before the opening speech. As they hit it off, Ling said nothing. to the movies for the next three years, until I was too big they found themselves tuning out the speaker, trading “An old boyfriend?” to sneak in unnoticed. Posing as everyone’s daughter.” notes and phone numbers by scribbling furiously, back She frowned. “No. But something like that.” She directed a purposeful look at him. and forth, on her small burgundy planner. “Tell me more.” He was surprised by the edge in his “And what was that Hong Kong movie you So I’m riding the escalator up from City Hall voice. The same edge seemed also to be chafing at his watched?” Wei asked, playing his part. Station the other day, Ling wrote in her light stroke, chest. She grinned. “花樣年華, or In the Mood for Love, as and it strikes me that I’ve never tried to understand Ling narrowed her eyes, paused as if choosing her Westerners like to call it. Wong Kar-wai.” cross-Strait relations before. I wonder if I’m even words carefully. “You’re being weird,” she finally said. “And what were your thoughts on the movie?” really Taiwanese. Then, I glance at the row of flyers on “Just tell me.” He took a bite of the steaming scal“Didn’t understand one bit,” she reported. “Seven- the wall flanking the escalator, and—lo and behold— lion eggs, a haphazard performance of nonchalance. year-olds and art cinema don’t really mesh. But I there’s a flyer for this conference at NTU. Sped here “I’m not going to tell you anything when you’re wanted one of Maggie Cheung’s dresses for months right after work. So glad there’s free food! being weird, Wei.” afterward.” I know exactly how you feel, he wrote back, perhaps He tried to focus on the radish cakes instead of Wei imagined the way the bodice of the iconic too eagerly. The same thing more or less happened to the unreasonable ache that swelled up inside of him. cheongsam would hug Ling’s slight curves. He traced me as well. I think almost every Taiwanese kid goes Glancing down at his plate, he saw a faded blue burst the winding paths of her body with a finger. through a phase like this, in which you neglect to open where he had taken a bite. When he blinked and “Can I offer an unpopular opinion?” he asked. understand this stuff on purpose. looked again, he was confronted with only a slab of “Try me.” After the conference, they ducked into a small glutinous white flesh. “Maggie Cheung isn’t that cute.” ramen shop to talk over a more substantial dinner. She Ling furrowed her brows. “Well, yeah. She’s not ordered a shoyu and he a shio. Conversation started off +++ the cute type. She’s beautiful.” sluggish, but picked up as steam from the open kitchen Ling: “I don’t think she’s that beautiful, either,” Wei thickened the air between them. quipped. “You’re way cuter.” “What you wrote really stuck with me,” Wei said, The other day, I watched Wong Kar-wai’s In the Mood Her lips parted slightly, breaths wafting unevenly breaking apart a soft-boiled egg with his chopsticks. for Love. Afterwards, I had to jerk off. I don’t know why, within. “The fact that you’ve rarely looked into cross-Strait but I did. I’ve never watched such a deeply unsatisfying

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film before. I guess I felt the need to take things into my After breakfast, the two fast-walked home in silence. you mean by this?” own hands and consummate the tension between the With every hurried step they took, the cloud of quiet 「『無』是什麼人?」 he asked in Taiwanese, taking lead characters for myself. between them grew denser. Snatches of green slipped care to intonate each word. “Who the hell is ‘Wu’?” by as they stole past 大安 Forest Park, and then the Her silence seared holes in his chest. Before he knew I know you watched the movie a long time ago, so I’ll flickering financial district. Warm light splintered it, he had her pinned against the wall, his nails chipgive you a refresher just in case. Maggie Cheung and through the foliage and scattered bokeh across their ping into white paint. The veins on his hand bulged Tony Leung play these neighbors whose spouses are somber faces. Car honks and schoolchildren’s banter out, as if any moment now they would give out and cheating on them with one another. Maggie Cheung picked at the membrane of stillness between them. dark red would dash the walls. Wei thought he saw blue wears these fantastic floral cheongsams throughout. Wei wanted to explain himself, but he didn’t know bleeding out of her eyes, but it might have just been her They hug her slim figure very nicely. Anyway, both of how to without sounding irrational. It wasn’t the first tears. them are often left alone by their business-tripping time he had felt jealousy, of course, but never before spouses, so they bump into each other when they go did it grip him so viscerally. He knew he was likely +++ buy take-out sesame noodles and whatnot. They pick seeing blue or maroon where there was none; and yet, up on all these hints of infidelity, like Tony’s character the possibility alone stabbed at his temples and chest He sat on the steps for a while and submitted to his own wearing the same tie that Maggie’s character saw on without reprieve. He hated knowing that his diag- wavering. He slicked back his hair, adjusted his red tie. her husband recently, so on. They start commiser- nosis—paranoid or rightfully jealous—rested entirely Grabbing the lapels of his pinstripe suit jacket, he gave ating together, even acting out at one point how their upon an ungraspable truth. both sides two quick tugs. He practiced what he had to spouses probably began their affair. They fall for each He tried to focus on Ling through his peripheral say in English, and then in Chinese—he wasn’t sure other. And then, of course, life gets in the way. vision, but his head began to ache from the exertion. which sounded better. She seemed lost in thought, eyes buried elsewhere. A streetlight wrapped a soft yellow over his shoulI think what really bothered me was that the spouses Whenever he became “weird,” as she put it, she would ders, and a fine rain sliced through the glow like falling never make their way on screen. I don’t know what withdraw from him. How strange it was that she stars in the starless night. His eyes glossed over the it was in me that needed so badly to see those two in always chose to close herself up rather than reassure darkness, lingering on an absence only he could see. the flesh, to put a face to what’s terrorizing them. But I him. Usually, he respected it—he would even reason to He was outside the man’s apartment complex. He was needed to know. himself that she was different, that she didn’t engage going to trek up the stairs, knock on the door, kick it with his jealousy precisely because there was no reason down, and give him a piece of his mind and more than I’ve been thinking: maybe that part of me, the part of for him to worry in the first place. This time, however, a piece of his fist. He only needed the courage to reach me that needs to know, is what makes me so protective he lost hold of all precedents. out and touch. of you. It’s like the certainty I want in my life is hinged “愛不是佔有, 而是欣賞,” Wei said when they While summoning this courage, he tried to conjure completely upon you being mine. entered the apartment. up her presence in his mind, as wholly and true to life “What?” Ling braked, her bare feet squeaking as possible. But her body always washed up stilled into The night after I watched In the Mood for Love, I against the hardwood floor. fragments—honeyed eyes in the golden light, figure saw you in my sleep. You were in a sheer, maroon “That’s what you said last week.” He looked her in carved by a deep maroon. He thought about how he cheongsam with faded blue streaks in your hair, which the eye. “That’s what you said after we watched that wanted to possess her and how he wanted to venerate you had braided and hoisted up in a bun. Under the chick flick last week. I want to know where you got that her, and how she probably didn’t want either of those streetlight, your eyes were honey lemon cough drops phrase.” things. Most of all, he thought about what this man glistening on either side of your face. I think you Ling frowned. In the lines burrowed between her would look like. He tried to imagine it, but all he could were Tony Leung’s wife, and I was Maggie Cheung’s brows he read either genuine confusion or a sliver of see was his own face. When he finally knocked, he husband. Their characters’ wife and husband, I mean. guilt. “Wei, please don’t do this.” found himself hoping that nobody would open the door. We’re sheltered under a red tong lau while a fine rain “Do what?” drapes itself over the city. Shanghai, Taipei, Hong “This,” she said. “Whatever this is.” EMILY YANG B’20 usually has oatmeal, taro balls, Kong, or even some Chinatown—I really couldn’t tell “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” and tapioca pearls with her 豆花. which. When the rain finally pulls away, we march arm “You know exactly what I’m talking about,” she in arm back to our apartment complex, unfazed by the snapped. “I’ve seen you snooping around my study. eyes that befall us as we tear through the wet streets. Going through my old letters, giving my phone long When we reach your door, you spin around to kiss me looks when I get messages. Not to mention that weird goodbye. But before you can do so, my doppelganger— interrogation earlier.” She held his gaze. “You know your husband—swings the door open, grips you by the exactly what I’m talking about.” wrist, says “I’ll be taking over from here,” and before “I can’t believe,” she continued, “that you’re I know it the door is in my face and only your scent, throwing out that phrase without at all detecting the thickened by the rain, remains. irony here. 愛不是佔有，而是欣賞, my ass. Look, if you want to ask me something, you can just ask. I’m not It lasted a good second, but I knew that he looked some callous bitch who’s out to deceive you, Wei. But exactly like me. Short black hair slicked back with I’m also not something that you own. wax. A resting, exasperated expression glued to his “You want to know where I got the fucking phrase? I face. The same pinstripe suit you and I bought together don’t know! Maybe from my friends who told me to stay last spring, and that red tie that you got me so that you away from guys like you. Maybe from you. Maybe from could pull on it to kiss me. But somehow, to my chagrin, a book of idioms, or maybe somewhere up my ass.” She he was several degrees more handsome than I am. Was shook her head. “I don’t know, Wei.” Her voice came it just because he had you in his grasp? I don’t know. undone as she said his name. I don’t know. But I hated it. A hotness began to permeate Wei’s entire being, but a strange numbness plugged this heat from oozing Yours, past the surface. He strode into the study, emerged 無 with several cyan-and-white letters, and slammed them against the coffee table. +++ “I don’t believe you,” he said. “I can’t believe you!” she yelled. “What the hell do

THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT

LITERARY

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This page is left blank because its editors are too tired to make something this week. Instead, we’re cleaning, worrying, crying, sleeping. Trying to love our families, friends, communities, and cats from afar. We’re resisting the urge to be productive or formal. We’re refusing to push forward while our peers fall behind. We’re demanding universal pass, compensation for student workers, and raises for essential staff. And we’re choosing S/NC no matter what!

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EPHEMERA

27 MARCH 2020