The Gabber: July 22, 2021

Dear Gabby: Can I Be Friends With My Ex?

By Sheree Greer

the exchange in which he swore at The Gabber’s semi-regular adyour wife, I’d just say if you’re convice column, Dear Gabby, is here cerned about him by reader demand.

Have a question or a “Friendship with an ex and miss the friendconundrum for Gab- can be difficult to navi- ly rapport, consider him if he’s by? There’s no probgate, particularly if the asking all right or even ask lem too small for our resident advisor. parting was less than him if something’s wrong because you Send your questions amicable.” miss the short chats – they can be anonand neighborly smiles. If his newly ymous – to deargabby@thegabber. acquired bad mood is just a curicom. ous change but doesn’t really affect your day-to-day, ignore him and I have a neighbor problem. When leave him to his misery. we moved in five years ago, our neighbor across the street was suIs it a good idea to be friends with per friendly, always saying hello your ex? We broke up more than and stopping to chat. But we must a year ago, and the other day she have done something to offend texted me to go to an art exhibit him, because now he won’t even she knew I would like. We haven’t look at us and the other day for seen each other since the break no reason, he swore at my wife! Is up – and I’m definitely over it – he crazy? Are we crazy? I’m a little but there was a reason we startscared to ask. I feel like I have to at ed dating in the first place: We get least try to get along? along well and like a lot of the same things. I miss her friendship, but I Two of “The Four Agreements” by don’t need any drama!

Don Miguel Ruiz came to mind with this question. “Don’t take anything Friendship with an ex can be diffipersonally” and “Don’t make ascult to navigate, particularly if the sumptions.” Your neighbor could parting was less than amicable or be experiencing something in his there are residual feelings. But difown life that’s got him soured to ficult doesn’t mean impossible. If the world, and it may very well have there isn’t any resentment between nothing at all to do with you or your the two of you, and there aren’t any wife. Without more context about

closet longings for what once was, then a friendship is possible. This art exhibit can be a test run to see if your friendship has survived the failed romance. If it feels weird or forced, if messy feelings surface or mixed signals show themselves, you’ll know that a friendship won’t work out. Give it a try, but don’t feel bad if it turns out that it’s best to move on altogether.

A Milwaukee native, Sheree L. Greer is a local textbased artist, educator and taco lover. In 2014, she founded Kitchen Table Literary Arts to showcase and support the work of Black women and women of color writers and is the author of two novels, “Let the Lover Be” and “A Return to Arms.”

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