Embracing the Male Gaze by Annie Levy | Design by Emma Hill
As women in college, there’s one closet staple that’s instantly recognizable, always referenced, and constantly sought out: the going-out top. Regardless of where that outing is—a club, a concert, a sweaty basement on Pratt Street—the shirt’s purpose remains the same. Maybe it’s well-fitted with a sleek high neckline or dips low with draping silk fabric. It should be flattering, perhaps revealing, and generally slutty. When we, as college girls, look for a top to go out in, we might not explicitly say it aloud, but that is what everyone’s looking for. And after much internal debate and struggle, I’ve decided that no one should be ashamed of that. I remember a conversation I had with a friend last summer before we moved to our respective college towns, and “going out” clothes came up. She candidly told me she would “never be one of those girls” who sacrifice a cute outfit for something slutty. From an aesthetic perspective, I understood. Fashion is
fashion no matter the situation, and style, to some, will always be a priority. However, something was striking about the tone and the almost finger-pointing hidden in her words. When I came to college myself and the time came to “go out,” her words remained in the back of my mind. I wanted to dress in a flattering way, but if I went over the top or wore something that looked just slutty and not chic or interesting in any other way, that was wrong. Wearing something physically revealing just for the sake of it was just embarrassing, I thought deep down. A cute pair of jeans and a flattering tank top were cool and stylish, but a corset top with lace and a built-in pushup bra was too much. It was easy. My friend is not alone in her feelings, of course. Some may even call her more of a feminist than I am. However, the idea that women can be “too slutty” or “too much” — even when, like in a party setting, it’s culturally appropriate — comes as a defensive measure from the oppressive male gaze. If you’re putting yourself out there physically, you’re conceding to what men want, and thus, you look ridiculous. You are silly, desperate, and some may even say, setting women back. No one will take us seriously if we can so easily surrender to what the male gaze begs of us, some feminists think. However, this message fails to acknowledge the actual feelings and thoughts of the women wearing the clothes themselves. I can’t argue that the male gaze does not exist and that when college girls wear a lace corset to go to a fraternity party, they’re not playing into something much bigger than them. Of course, they are. But, contrarily, how does the woman herself feel? That matters. That feeling exists in a much larger, more complicated series of constructs and history, but the individual’s emotions exist. The reality is that the male gaze has infiltrated our lives. I don’t know what it means to be a woman or feminine in the absence of the male depiction of femininity because the female image is constructed solely by men, to begin with. I don’t mean to play feminist theorists, but it’s not hard to see how our lives are deeply affected by the male gaze in ways we don’t realize. Our perceived self-confidence is fashioned directly by years of understanding what is praised and unacceptable or praised and glared at. I was discussing this with a friend not long ago, and she
Photo by Sophia Kysela 68