Issuu

The observer | friday, February 3, 2023 | ndsmcobserver.com

10 ways to calm down—as told by my nine-year-old self

2023 is for progress, not perfection

Jack Griffiths Neurodivergence

In 2009, I wrote a 10-step list on ways to calm down during times of stress. I wanted to revisit each of the steps, reflecting on each one’s value and relevance as a college student. 1. Take 3 deep breaths. Obviously, deep breathing has positive effects on the body, lowering one’s heart rate and thus alleviating anxiety. However, breath has also served as a crucial theme of many activities I’ve participated in throughout my life, from cross country in middle school to fast-talking in debate during high school to singing choral anthems at Notre Dame. In all these activities, proper breathing represents the need to focus, to lose myself in the clomping of shoes on black pavement or the highlighted excerpts on my computer screen or the notes in my music binder. By taking time to breathe, I move into an ethereal state, unbounded by worries. 2. Count to 10 backward. Counting backwards draws me into the past. It compels me to remember where I’ve come from, all the people I’ve met, all the experiences I’ve had. The past is full of examples of stresses and failures. But is also full of examples of how I’ve avoided letting failures define my being, or even how I’ve improved myself in response to stressful moments. 3. Close your eyes and think of a great day. While I’ve had a relatively stressfree year, I’ve occasionally felt weighed down by the thoughts of the thesis I have to work on and the officer meeting I need to prepare for and the employment applications I need to complete reminding me that this is the last semester at a place where I’ve been welcomed and appreciated before moving on to the unknown. On days when I feel entrapped in whirlpools of thoughts like these, it helps to remember that there are days to look forward to, whether they be opportunities to hang out with friends or the knowledge that at one point, I will look back on the work I’ve completed this year and smile. 4. Hum a favorite song or tune. Music has always served as a meditative outlet through which I can block out external stresses. At Notre Dame, participating in the Liturgical Choir has exposed me to a plethora of soothing motets and chants that I can put on while I work on assignments. This not only buries my anxieties beneath the elation of polyphony, but it also gives me an opportunity to center my spirituality in whatever task I am completing. 5. Think of a funny thing. I need to laugh every day, at least a little. I need to hear my friends’ bizarre stories. I need to occasionally revisit YouTube videos I’ve already seen because I know they’ll make me laugh. I need to remember that every day needs a moment of shameless silliness, of unbridled joy. 6. Close your eyes for 1 minute. Sometimes I like to take time to remember that I am myself, regardless of whatever anyone or anything around me might say. 7. Read a book, poem, or skit. Although I’ve dealt with the occasional “Arts and Sweaters”-style of teasing, I’ve loved being an English major. Literature can take me from the mundane to the fantastical, or it can even turn the mundane into the fantastical. Through immersing myself in the characters of the books I read, I might even see my reflection in the pages, revealing new truths. 8. Draw a picture of your favorite toy. I still stim from time to time, needing a small “toy” or object to wave around, toss up and down, or curl in my palm. A small sphere or a keychain becomes the focal point of my emotions, as if my moving it enables the object to absorb any feelings of negativity, allowing me to reach a state of peace. 9. Do a little dance (not at school!). While I may not dance at school, I believe there’s empowerment to be found in allowing yourself to move to an internal rhythm, directing your personal art, when people are often encouraged to keep their inner songs to themselves. 10. Eat a snack. Snacks give me energy, but meals give me spiritual sustenance. I cherish the chances to sit with friends over pancakes at South Dining Hall or with family over chips and salsa at our favorite hometown Tex-Mex restaurant. In a Ratatouille-esque fashion, I ponder each distinct taste while I learn more about those around me through easy, un-pressured conversation. Overall, I approve of my 9-year-old self’s list. Importantly, while I used to view these steps as purely reactive measures, things to do once I became stress, now I view them as proactive elements of a healthy, peaceful life. I hope my visit to the past has inspired you to reflect on how you can use your passions and interests to combat stress in your daily life. Jack Griffiths is a senior at Notre Dame majoring in English with a supplementary major in global affairs. His areas of interest include neurodivergence, migration and the intersections between faith and public policy. When he’s not writing, you can find him singing with the Liturgical Choir, walking around the lakes or playing Super Smash Bros with folks in his dorm. He can be reached at jgriff22@nd.edu. The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.

New Yea r’s resolut ions, if focused on hea lt hy self-improvement ca n be a g reat way to hold yourself accountable to your ow n persona l goa ls. A nd a lt houg h self-improvement look s dif ferent for each indiv idua l, resolut ions ca n become ha r mf u l when you essent ia l ly weaponi ze t he New Yea r aga inst yourself. We’ve a l l hea rd t he phrase, “new yea r, new me.” But we shou ld use it as encouragement, not a mmunit ion. For some, it’s weig ht loss. For ot hers, it’s eat ing hea lt hier. It mig ht be improv ing relat ionships w it hin your fa mi ly or your f r iend g roup. Maybe you wa nted to read one book a week or lea r n a new recipe. To buy a new ca r or la nd your f irst job. New Yea r’s resolut ions look dif ferent for ever yone. The pur pose of t his editor ia l is not to diminish your goa ls or accomplishments. Rat her, our a im is to emphasi ze how your resolut ions ca n be successf u l w it hout holding yourself to un hea lt hy sta nda rds t hat ca n ha r m you in t he long r un. Creat ing a long-ter m goa l to eat more nut r it ious food? Hea lt hy. Hav ing a cheat day, t hen punishing yourself by ba rely eat ing t he nex t? Un hea lt hy. Or hav ing a cheat day, t hen t hin k ing it r uined your goa l? A lso un hea lt hy. If you didn’t meet your ex pectat ions for t his mont h, it doesn’t mea n you fa i led, or t hat it’s not a goa l wor t h achiev ing. Instead of forcing yourself to fol low st r ict lifest yle r u les, ta ke a moment to ref lect on t he f irst mont h of 2023. Remember t hat a ny prog ress, even if it’s not t he a mount t hat you wa nted to see, is wor t h celebrat ing. Didn’t get a job in Ja nua r y but got a n inter v iew? Submitted more applicat ions? A ny t hing ca n be v iewed as posit ive g row t h towa rd your overa l l goa l. Wa nted to work out more, but on ly got to t he g y m once ? Celebrate gett ing t here a nd pla n to go t w ice in Febr ua r y. Wa nted to read a book a week, but on ly

got t hroug h t wo dur ing t he mont h? You’re st i l l ma k ing a n ef for t. At t he ot her end of t he spect r um, say you didn’t read a ny book s. Say you didn’t ma ke much prog ress on t he job f ront. That doesn’t mea n your yea r is a lready a fa i lure ; you st i l l have eleven more mont hs ! We’re on ly a mont h into 2023, a nd a lot ca n cha nge. Keep working on your process. You don’t have to wa it for t he nex t set of New Yea r’s resolut ions to come a round to t r y aga in. Febr ua r y is t he per fect t ime to re-eva luate t he sta nda rds you set for yourself. Were t hey rea list ic? If not, you ca n st i l l reset a nd create new goa ls. A nd if you feel t hey’re rea list ic, t hat’s g reat ! Work to keep achiev ing t hem — just don’t punish yourself for not being on pace or diminish what you’ve a lready accomplished. This editor ia l isn’t so much a prog ress check as it is a reminder t hat a New Yea r’s resolut ion is on ly as good as you ma ke it. A nd if you ma ke it about unrea list ic goa ls, physica l or ot her w ise, you w i l l set yourself up for inev itable disappoint ment. Depending on your mindset, t his disappointment ca n easi ly tur n into selfhat red as you ma ke your ow n feelings of self-wor t h cont ingent on a goa l on ly you a re holding to yourself. The pur pose of a resolut ion is to feel happy w it h t he steps you a re ma k ing to improve your life. But you a re more t ha n your resolut ions, a nd it’s impressive to even get up in t he mor ning, rega rd less of what else you do. New Yea r’s resolut ions a re a bonus to ma ke yourself feel on ly more successf u l; t hey’re not mea nt to add ex t ra st ress to your day. Keep your resolut ions a nd benchma rk s hea lt hy a nd rea list ic for yourself, a nd t he rest w i l l come. Tr ust in t hat process. Happy Febr ua r y! Celebrate what you’ve achieved, a nd look for wa rd to a 2023 t hat ca n st i l l be g reat.