STORIZEN CONTRIBUTE
The Blurred Line Between Dream And Reality by Sumana Bhattacharya
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ictory, success, being an achiever, perfecting it all, was all that mattered once. As I would review the passing year with a mixed feeling of achievement and dejection, contemplating with discontent things I could have done better, cheering the few successes, New Year’s resolution always hovered around achieving the near-impossible, seeking that elusive ‘Perfect Life’ with happiness and prosperity abundant. Alas, one can never be successful enough or happy enough as the yardsticks created by society, family and our own selves keep changing, or seem just out of reach. While on the one hand we celebrate our wins, on the other hand, the fear of slipping, not being able to meet the expectations keep pulling us down. So, quite a while ago, New Years’ would bring out the best and the worst in me – making me aware of the fleeting time, of so little that I have achieved, of so much more that is to be done, would at times leave me panic struck. But soon my confident, optimist self would gather myself together and look forward to
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the New Year, hoping to tick off as many boxes as possible. Yes, it was optimism and confidence that kept me going despite all odds and let downs – not getting the coveted job, not finding Mr Right, not having a fancy address – the list goes on. I struggled with my expectations of myself and my expectations of others for quite a few years. I would look enviously at my more successful cousins and friends and feel dejected. At times I would feel like fish struggling in a tumultuous sea. The image of a young girl trying successfully to reach the peak would often haunt me, a recurrent dream or a nightmare. I would be angry, unhappy, complaining that nothing seems to be going right for me. I would feel pressured when nobody really was pressurizing me. I am lucky to have parents who pretty much let me have my way. While they encouraged me to go for my dreams, they also in their own way showed me some dreams come true and some don’t, but that shouldn’t DECEMBER 2019