Friday, September 15, 2023
The Smoke Signal
WWW.THESMOKESIGNAL.ORG
Feature 9
DieHard TryHards: By Aaryan Suri, Tanvi Deshmukh, Daphne Senecal, & Lucy Yao Sports Editor & Staff Writers With the hit release of the Barbie movie this summer, theaters were flooded with neons, sparkles, and of course, loads of pink. Along with that, the Barbieverse was expanded with tons of character Barbies, such as President Barbie and Weird Barbie (and Allan!). In this DieHard TryHards, reporting live from the Mojo Dojo Casa House, four Smokies create their own Barbie characters to compete for the best dressed and most popular doll in all of Barbie Land.
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If you look in my closet, you’ll see an assortment of white, cream, and blue colors, but not a hint of pink. Since we’re talking Barbie, I’ll have to do some serious digging — and by digging, I mean enlist the help of my pink-loving friends. The dress-up part might be challenging, but the judges will absolutely love my Barbie charisma and talent as Dancer Barbie. All I can say is that “I’m a Barbie girl in the Barbie world,” and hopefully, no one gets cardiac arrest from my flat feet.
This Barbie is a Yoga Instructor.
Lucy It’s not even close if we’re being honest. Looking at my competition and their sub-par wardrobes, I don’t see a universe in which I don’t win this challenge. Now, you might be wondering what I plan to bring to this DHTH and the clothes that I intend to wear. And for that, I honestly have no idea. With not a single article of pink clothing in my closet, I may or may not be doomed. However, with a combination of finesse and breathtaking innovation, I will walk (or rollerblade) away, winning this DHTH.
This Barbie is a Detective.
Daphne
From the moment I walked in, I was so intimidated by the other Barbies’ elaborate characters. My outfit was just pink pieces thrown together (shoutout to my friends for lending me their closets). Despite feeling nervous, I had to live up to my title of Dancer Barbie. Strutting down the catwalk with my pink Converse and cowgirl hat, I busted out my best moves to “Barbie World,” making my queens Nicki Minaj and Ice Spice proud. Who knows, maybe one day they’ll make a movie about how Dancer Barbie ate up Yoga Barbie, Ballerina Barbie, and Detective Barbie and left no glittery crumbs behind.
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This Barbie is a Dancer.
I’m going to be honest — I think I only got picked for this competition because I was wearing bright bubblegum pink the day of. Now, from that, you might assume that my entire closet must be a storm of fuchsias like Barbie’s Dreamhouse closet right? Well consider this: yes I have six pink tops, but only one vaguely magenta bottom (which is just so clearly purple). My options are limited here, guys. However, I did spend an entire summer at an arts camp surrounded by kids with impeccable style, so hopefully I’ve absorbed enough fashion sense from them to master the art of Yoga Barbie. Ken it be done? I guess like Barbie says, “life is your creation!”
Tanvi Well second is Kenough for me! I can’t believe I didn’t think of Yoga Barbie from the start, especially considering my one pink (purple) bottom was literally yoga pants. Looking back, I think my pink (definitely purple) hair and extra demonstration was what really gave me points, and it was completely worth the personal embarrassment since I also got to embarrass — I mean help — the judges achieve inner peace. Everyone did amazing though, and personally, we all should’ve gotten first place. After all, anyone can be Barbie — it’s not hard when you’re doused in magentas, roses, and every pink possible!
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Well, at least I finished on the podium… Okay, in my opinion, achieving third-place was the result of a series of unfortunate events and, put simply, just unlucky. Now, you might be thinking that I’m being salty and unreasonable, to which I reply that you are absolutely correct. However, in my eyes, my lovely Ballerina Barbie outfit deserved that sweet, glorious, precious first-place trophy just as much as any of the other Barbies, cough Tanvi, and I am and always will be the number one Barbie in my own eyes.
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This Barbie is a Ballerina.
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Years and years of watching fashion doll movies and learning about their production have prepared me for this moment. It may have been a long time since Barbie was my favorite doll line, but she is still my first love and holds a special place in my heart. With my supreme knowledge of all things Barbie, I happen to know about the existence of the Detective Barbie video games. Unfortunately, the outfits she had in those games were horrifically ugly so I intend to bring Detective Barbie justice with my own ideals on what a detective should be.
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Detecti
Aaryan ve Bar
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Looking back, maybe I should not have admitted to several accusations of … various crimes when I was supposed to be Detective Barbie. Instead, I probably should have just accused one of the other contestants of stealing all the charity money from the local fair. However, the real criminal offense was that I managed to lose to Ballerina Barbie who was wearing a tutu from Party City — he didn’t even know how to do a pirouette! Now that I’m done being petty, I will resolve to be a better Barbie and law abiding citizen — someone who deserves the title of being the barbiest Barbie.
PHOTOS BY FEATURE EDITORS ANUSHKA VASUDEV & CALLIE YUAN, PHOTO COURTESY LOOKA.COM. GRAPHICS BY FEATURE EDITOR ANUSHKA VASUDEV