rear pew mirror • doug brook
The New Book Says
Problem Yards Our Specialty
One year ago was the triumphant release of “Rear Pew Mirror: Reflections From the Back of the Sanctuary.” Destined to surpass its predecessor on its journey toward the New York Times Best Seller list, the ink is drying on volume two, Rear Pew Mirror II: The Wrath of Columns. It’s never too early for Chanukah shopping. After giving copies of this new book to everyone on the first night, there’s enough time to fulfill their resulting demands by getting them volume one for the eighth night. The second collection based on this column is available in paperback and Kindle. “Rear Pew Mirror II: The Wrath of Columns” contains 32 past columns, all updated with more never-before-read laughs and fewer typos to be, on average, 34.7 percent funnier than before. This volume includes freshly updated columns about religious symbols, sports, Star Trek, government and elections, teachings from a caveman rabbi, the nearly rabbinic “Ask the Rabbit” feature, and more. Volume two also includes a glossary for those readers who need a little help to understand exactly how hilarious it all is. Including the glossary itself. The earliest of readers can relive a deep dive into the myriad species of bumperfish that once inundated the backs of many cars. The earliest that readers can revisit is the antediluvian wisdom of Gurb the Caveman Rabbi. Latter day readers can rejoice in an allusion to the Saints, among accounts of various Judaic sporting events. These days everyone could use a good, clean laugh. This book arrives without any dirt on it and, what’s more, payments for it might potentially be laundered. Perhaps most timely to its release are segments about the Electorah College or the Electoral Yeshiva. There’s reporting on an ancient press briefing with the Cairo Virus Task Force after eight consecutive plagues, including quotes such as, “I drained the Nile” and “He said, ‘Sire,’ they call me Sire. ‘Sire, we just don’t have any pyramids.” The governmentality section is introduced by quotes from historic Jewish leaders. For instance, Thomas Jefferstein once said, “Were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.” Daniel (Quayle) opined, “The future will be better tomorrow.” Southern readers can enjoy the convergence of Jewish tradition, the Vulcan statue that keeps a watchful eye over Birmingham and a watchful something-else over Homewood, and the first aliens to visit from another world. One needn’t be a sports fan to get a guffaw from recaps of Jewish Heritage Night games from various teams, from sea to shining sea. One needn’t be a romantic to react to the original February 14th holiday, named for the esteemed Rabbi Wallenstein. The following is high praise – from real, actual people – for last year’s daring first volume:
The sequel both of you have been demanding…
OVER 25 YEARS
ExtErior
Landscape & Courtyard Plans
DEsigns,
Construction & Maintenance
inc. CALL (504) 866-0276 or BY BEVERLY KATZ, Landscape Designer VISIT exteriordesignsbev.com 46
November 2024 • Southern Jewish Life
“I’m on paragraph two of the introduction and I’m laughing out loud. continued on previous page