rear pew mirror • doug brook
Hazzan Pepper’s Lonely Column Banned
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It was 20 years ago today Southern Shofar let this column play It’s been going on without no style And no guarantee to raise a smile So, may I impose on to you The hack you’ve read for all these years… Hazzan Pepper’s Lonely Column Banned! We’re Hazzan Pepper’s Lonely Column Banned We hope you will enjoy the prose Hazzan Pepper’s Lonely Column Banned Sit back and let your good taste go. It’s wonderful to write here, It’s certainly no quill, You’re such a lovely readership, We’d love to take you home with us, We’d take you both right home… I don’t really want to stop the flow But the editor thought you should know The writer’s gonna write more wrong And he wants you all to read along… ***** What would you think if I write like a loon, Would you turn the page away from me? Lend me your eyes and I’ll lead you along And I’ll try not to strike the wrong key. I get by with a little help from Hashem I just write with a little help from Hashem You survive with a little help from Hashem. What do you do when my column’s astray? (Does it worry you to read alone?) How do you feel when you put it away? (Are you glad ‘cause so much was unknown?) No, I get by with a little help from Hashem I just write with a little help from Hashem You survive with a little help from Hashem. (Do you read anybody?) I read this column enough (Could it be anybody?) I want this column enough
(Would you still read if I wrote it at night?) Yes I’m certain that I’d read it all the time (What do you read when you turn out the light?) I can’t read then, ‘cause I would go blind Oh, I get by with a little help from Hashem I just write with a little help from Hashem You survive with a little help from Hashem. ***** Looking ahead to the end of the next 20 years… With my jokes older, greying your hair, Many years from now continued on previous page 46 Southern Jewish Life • September 2016