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The Ten Coronamandments Some believe that the revered, ancient Jewish texts aren’t relevant for contemporary issues. However, one needs to simply look closer at these texts to find great guidance for the pre-apocalyptic inferno that’s commonly referred to as 2020. For example, a scrutinous look at the Ten Commandments reveals the most important safety tip since Egon Spengler said “don’t cross the streams.” I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage, so wear a mask. You shall have no other gods before me, though you shall put a mask between us. You shall not make for yourself any graven image, or manner of likeness, of anything in heaven above or in the earth below, or in the water underneath. And if you don’t wear a mask, there is another place under the earth below that you just do not want to risk going to. Do not bow down to them or serve them, and always wear a mask when you’re serving others. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquities of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation if they do not wear a mask. You shall not take the Lord’s name in vain. And wear a mask. For the Lord will not hold guiltless anyone that takes his name in vain, or who doesn’t wear a mask. Remember the Sabbath and wear a mask to keep it holy. (But do not put holes in the mask.) For six days you work, wearing a mask while doing all your work. But the seventh day is a Sabbath unto the Lord your God. In it, you shall not do any manner of work; you, nor your son, your daughter, your man-servant, your maid-servant, your cattle, or the stranger in your gates. But you still need a mask. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day, and the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. And he did not do all just so you could ruin it by not Wear the mask. that wearing a mask.
It’s a mitzvah. Many mitzvot.
Honor your father and your mother by wearing a mask, so that their days may be not cut short on the land which the Lord gave them.
You shall not kill. How? Wear a mask. You shall not commit adultery. Wearing a mask should make it too difficult anyway. You shall not steal someone else’s opportunity to not die. Wear a mask. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor, especially if you’re not wearing a mask yourself. You shall not COVID your neighbor’s house, nor his wife, his man-servant, his maid-servant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s. How? Wear a mask! One can find similar guidance even earlier in the Torah: In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and empty, and darkness was over the surface of the deep. And the spirit of God hovered over the waters. And God said, “let there continued on previous page 30
August 2020 • Southern Jewish Life