How Is Your Financial Health?
The Beholder’s Eye by Doug Brook
The Oynion: Peeling Layers
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Southern Jewish Life
Santa Rivkala, California — Services at Temple Beth Bayit were interrupted last Saturday when police raided the sanctuary and arrested the rabbi. The bar mitzvah that morning was interrupted at 12:10 p.m., though some congregants noted it would have still been morning if the sermon were shorter and the parents had told just a bit less of the boy’s entire life story. Thus, when the potato kugel was just seven minutes from optimal serving temperature, three officers rushed down the aisle right after the rabbi handed the boy a filled Kiddush cup. Beth Bayit’s longtime rabbi, Robert Rosen-Rosen, was taken into Never custody charged with contributing underestimate the to the delinquency of a minor by providing him with alcohol. The arpower of a glass of resting officers were optimistic that Manischewitz the charge would stick because of the quantity of witnesses. Trying to dismiss the issue, the rabbi told officers that he had been doing this for years, leading officers to consider adding counts to the charge for every bar or bat mitzvah that Rosen-Rosen had officiated since arriving in Santa Rivkala. They believed the statute of limitations would not apply because Jews do not worship idols. The bar mitzvah boy — whose name is being withheld since he is a minor — did not consider it a big deal. Several congregants agreed, including the sixth grade religious school teacher who, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that the boy had been a delinquent for years. Upon the rabbi’s arrest, synagogue board members gathered for an emergency session to discuss whether to express their support of the rabbi to the arresting officers. However, as the board continued to debate about whether they could actually hold an emergency session on the Sabbath, the officers and rabbi had already left. That debate itself was delayed until four board members arrived for the Kiddush because less than a quorum of the board was present at services. Rabbi Rosen-Rosen has been a mainstay of the Santa Rivkala Jewish community for over three decades. Robert Rosen first arrived fresh out of the Seminary, and soon met his bride, local sweetheart Rebecca Rosen (no prior relation), who insisted from birth that she would only marry a man who would agree to hyphenate their last name, no matter what. Within hours, thanks in part to the rabbi’s years of work for the community, and in part to the number of congregants lined up outside the precinct door to serve as his legal counsel, the charge of contributing to the delinquency of a minor was dropped. However, after sampling the evidence and experiencing the typical gustatory devastation, the district attorney decided to file a new charge related to serving Manischewitz: Child endangerment. However, the new charge was even more short-lived. A deputy district attorney advised the D.A. that he was given Manischewitz by
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