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Having It All
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lot came out of my conversation with Dr. Alisha Benner, a palliative medicine physician within the Duke University Health System who is also a wife, mom, friend, outdoor and exercise enthusiast, dedicated elections volunteer and foodie, among many other titles. We talked about our shared love of hiking the Eno River and Duke Forest, as well as our rescue pets – hers are pups Harper and Cleo and cats Sadie and Noah. In fact, the only point we really disagreed on was whether or not you could have too many animals. One topic in particular hit that latent part of my brain where I bury thoughts until I feel like I have some actual time to think about them – if you’re a woman, I imagine you might know the feeling. Well, editing this issue brought these thoughts to the forefront. The mental load is real. I look at women who I perceive to have an unfathomable amount on their plate, and who appear to balance that weight much better than I feel I ever could – how do they do it? I revere them, and think, “If that’s how they handle life’s pressures, why can’t I manage my inbox better?” It’s an enduring, cyclical struggle. Dr. Benner – Alisha – spelled it out much more succinctly and eloquently than I could ever hope to: “The biggest obstacle is time and the challenge to do it all,” she told me. “There’s only 24 hours a day and seven days a week, and the reality is you can ‘do it all,’ but not all at the same time. If you want to work a lot, you’ll have less time at home with kids, if you have them. If you work less, you’ll rise slower through the hierarchy and have fewer professional accomplishments. Women still have to constantly balance and make choices that most men do not.” There was a pause, while I wrote down the quote while mentally snapping my fingers. Then she added, “That should be on billboards.” Her testimonial barely scratches the surface of the nuggets of wisdom, truth and courage that you’ll find in the stories of our 12th annual women’s issue, beginning on page 51. I hope that, like me, you’ll uncover insights that resonate in these inspiring interviews, or advice that can be applied to your own journey.
amanda.maclaren@durhammag.com THE COV E R Photo by John Michael Simpson. 8
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