AINMENT
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"Cocaine Bear:" Paddington Gets A Little Too Silly By Anna Peterson ’25 Staff Writer
C
ocaine Bear, Cocaine Bear, Cocaine Bear. Among the drone of mainstream commercial theater money grabs, it is a name that sparks curiosity. But it seems the film fails to live up to the hype of such a catchy title. Set in 1985, Andrew C. Thorton (Matthew Rhys) falls out of a plane to his death, strapped with millions of dollars worth of cocaine. Fortunate for our viewing purposes, the elusive Cocaine Bear discovers the drugs, and the chaos begins. In its drug-induced rampage, the bear hunts down an array of people: drug dealers, children, park rangers, delinquent teenagers, hikers, paramedics, and a detective. Central to the story’s plot is mother Sari (Keri Russel), who takes to the woods after realizing her young daughter Dee Dee (Brooklyn Prince) and neighbor Henry (Christian Convery) have ditched
school. Following suit, low-level drug dealers Daveed (O’Shea Jackson Jr.) and Eddie (Alden Ehrenreich) venture into the forest to search for the missing paraphernalia. However, Cocaine Bear threatens the goals and existence of each of these characters as the drug bender ensues. This movie was not good, and I don’t care what other critics say. The film’s only redeeming quality was this distinct aspect of nonsense. Yet, this quality alone does not make the movie entertaining. Absurdity without substance negates all meaning. The movie constantly delivers scene after scene of useless gore. At some point, shock value was deemed more important than a decent plot line. Spliced between all the gore, director Elizabeth Banks tries to make me give a shit about surfacelevel characters whose backgrounds are never fleshed out. In fact, a new character was thrust at my screen every 10 minutes just for me to care
less and less until their inevitable death. During these scenes of strict character dialogue and perpetual boredom, I couldn’t help but root for the bear to take me and the characters out of our collective miseries. Additionally, with so many new faces and stories shoved into a 90-minute movie, the film struggles to develop what it wants to communicate outside of a talented CGI specialist team. In any scene where the bear was absent, so was my mind. The film also pulls at straws when dictating who the bad guy is — is it the nosey detective, criminal teens, the drug lord, or just Cocaine Bear? At one point, the movie grasps for a man versus nature conflict, only to contradict itself by condemning some of the characters and not others. This film plays favorites when determining who faces the wrath of Cocaine Bear. Ultimately, this scenario works against the film’s narrative of Cocaine Bear’s
behavior as erratic and reads as a blatant attempt to preserve the main characters for a happy ending. In short, the director insults the audience with an illogical directorial choice. Although, the most offensive part of this film is the waste of talent. With actors like Brooklyn Prince of The Florida Project, Jesse Tyler Ferguson of Modern Family, and rising star Aaron Holliday, I expected a firework display of performance and dynamic. Instead, the actors seemed peripheral to the spectacle of Cocaine Bear, stifling their ability to impress. Elizabeth Banks does not foster performance; she drowns it with an over-the-top plot. As I propped myself up in the AMC reclining movie theater seat, I wondered what I did to deserve my lost $22. No amount of popcorn or peanut M&Ms could reverse the damage inflicted upon my frontal cortex by watching this movie. If you decide to watch Cocaine Bear, don’t say I didn’t tell you so.
A Review of the Wacky Wonderland known as "Quantumania" By Belen Yudess ’25
Social Media Manager
I
f Harvey Mudd knew what was good for them, they would start admitting ants into their quantum theory classes. Confused yet? Equally mystified or entertained by that sentence? If so, then that sums up the experience of watching this midnight sugar high hallucinogen of a film. Once the characters enter the quantum realm, the plot itself is a lot like my cinnamon bread avocado toast with strawberry jelly, cheese, and everything bagel seasoning: absolutely disastrous but fun if you don’t think too hard about it. Ant Man and the Wasp: Quantumania came out Feb. 17, becoming the third movie in the Ant Man franchise, 31st film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), and the beginning of phase five of the MCU. The movie is focused on Ant Man’s (Paul Rudd) life following the events of Avengers: Endgame, specifically his relationship with his teenage daughter Cassie (Kathryn Newton) and his internal struggle between his newfound fame, ego, and his reluctance to still be a hero for the “little guy.” Once the characters enter the quantum realm, the plot itself is a lot like my cinnamon bread avocado toast with strawberry jelly, cheese, and everything bagel seasoning: absolutely disastrous but fun if you don’t think too hard about it. The movie began as most Marvel films do: a fun-loving montage with a corny or classic 80’s song in the background. As Lang reminisced about his days valiantly fighting at Captain America’s side to a room full of devoted seven-year-old fans and their doting mothers, he receives a
Voice • Volume XXXI • Issue Six
call saying Cassie has landed herself in jail after using Pym technology to shrink a police car during a protest. This leads into a run-on of scenes depicting Lang’s over-the-top selfpraise much to the annoyance of Cassie who seems to be a selfaware activist. Right off the bat, it seems Marvel is using Ant Man (of all movies) as a social and political commentary. Marvel projects like Ms. Marvel and Black Panther do an excellent job at providing representation for communities of color and the industry is making strides to include characters that are typically not found in mainstream media, but that is not what Ant Man is known for. Lang’s goofy personality, banter with Hank, and scheming with the Hornets (whose absence was greatly noted in this film) has been what the storyline has previously thrived from. Yet, Quantumania tries to fit in several broad issues while also showcasing its impressive amounts of CGI and introducing its star-studded cast. Throughout the film, Ant Man, Cassie, Hope (Evangeline Lily), Hank (Michael Douglas), and Janet (Michelle Pfeiffer) traverse different regions of the quantum realm whose inhabitants were displaced and preparing for eradication by Kang the Conqueror (Jonathan Majors). Although Ant Man is initially hesitant to help these quantum folks take back their land and defeat Kang, he eventually comes around after Cassie, in true teenage activist fashion, exclaims, “Even though it’s not our problem, that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.” While it is important to recognize difficult histories while mobilizing youth to use their voice and take action against injustices they see in the world, Quantumania’s attempts to take on this challenge are
overwhelmed by intense amounts of bizarre characters and twists that distract from the heart of the plot — if that’s what you can call it. The message falls through the cracks. One of the strangest things about this film, besides the 1,000-year-old ants who reinvented society and technology and the return of the first movie’s antagonist, Darren Cross (Corey Stoll), as a giant, memeworthy killer robot with a giant forehead, is the fact that Ant Man contributes almost nothing to the plot. He is always either imprisoned, uninterested in helping, beat up, or beat to the punch by Cassie (literally and metaphorically). While Ant Man has successfully contributed to the Avengers team in the past, Lang’s constant, but understandable, confliction about getting involved in the fight or keeping Cassie safe leaves him MIA. Although he does enact his giant move (once again, literally) and theoretically sacrifices his chance of getting back to the real world to keep Kang from escaping, these heroic feats come at the last 10 minutes of the movie. These plot choices leave audiences flustered, wondering why Lang receives more attention in the press than the true stars of the show: the actual ants. Quantumania tries to fit in several broad issues while also showcasing its impressive amounts of CGI and introducing its star-studded cast. Quantumania may not be at the same level as other Marvel comedic hits like Thor: Ragnarok, but there are redeeming qualities for viewers to ant-icipate in the form of phenomenal acting performances. Majors absolutely delivered, easily switching from eliciting sympathy through the role of a harmless victim to giving audiences chills
through his stone-cold yet wounded portrayal of Kang. On a lighter note, the brief cameo by Bill Murray was a nice surprise that left me giggling for quite some time. In addition to this, Hank Pym came out swinging with the snappy one liners and his over-emphasis on the importance of his beloved ants that effortlessly filled in the uneventful or tense moments. Although Lang may fall “short” in some areas of the film, the portrayal of him as a father is heartwarming to see. Most Marvel characters who have kids either die (Iron Man) or are rarely shown with their kids (Hawkeye). Ant Man’s motivations throughout his first two movies and Endgame largely revolve around connecting with Cassie. Quantumania may not be at the same level as other Marvel comedic hits like Thor: Ragnarok, but there are redeeming qualities for viewers to ant-icipate in the form of phenomenal acting performances. Quantumania did an excellent job at bringing Lang and Cassie’s relationship to the forefront and depicting, through a psychedelic trip of a thousand variants of Lang, that his main goal is to do whatever he can to protect Cassie and be present in her life. Although the direction of the movie could have been clearer and possibly gone without the existential crisis it introduces in the latter half, its sheer outlandishness made it a wacky distraction from impending amounts of work and gave me the courage to blast sad girl music and jump around Jaqua on my way back home. After all, the film shows us that time and subsequent actions do not matter in the slightest, so who cares?