Granny’s Guide
Bonding
By Yvette O'Dowd
B
onding. Attachment. These are words we use to describe things which are connected. Secure attachment is strong, unlikely to break apart.
needing to engage the logical, thinking brain which might need time to process the danger and consider if it is in the mother’s best interest to take a risk.
We also use these words to describe the connection between adults and children, primarily mother and baby in the first instance. (Or another primary caregiver who takes on that role.) Here we will discuss the maternal/infant bond as that is the biologically-typical mammal model.
Bonding is a two-way process. The baby needs to bond with their mother just as much as she does with them.
A human infant needs an enormous amount of support to reach the stage of independence; more than any other species on earth. Taking on that commitment, ahead of all other possibilities, is the greatest demand there is. If we just look at raising a child to “breeding age” (puberty) we are looking at 12-15 years. Brain maturity is reached around 25 years. A mother bonds with her infant during the postnatal period. Bonding probably begins in pregnancy but it is during the immediate skinto-skin period after birth when it really kicks in. It is a process which develops over the following days and weeks. Through the bonding process, a mother becomes so committed to the care and protection of her child that she will put their needs above all others, including her own. It is this bond which ensures she will take whatever action is required when her child is threatened, without 64 Peninsula Kids – Winter 2022
Bonding is enhanced through the release of the hormone oxytocin. This happens in babies, mothers, fathers and other carers when they see, hear, feel and smell each other in a caring situation. Breastfeeding enhances bonding because it brings all these together frequently throughout the day. However, this doesn't mean that those who are not breastfeeding cannot bond with their baby. Loving care also includes feeding by cup, spoon or bottle, bathing and nappy changing, carrying and skin-to-skin contact. Fathers and other non-lactating parents find their own special ways to bond with their breastfed babies. Babies bond with parents, grandparents, siblings and extended family and carers. The strength of the primary bond does not reduce the development of other secure attachments. The mother-baby bond is the strongest your baby has in the early years. Breastfeeding is an intense relationship and it is important for babies to be close to their breastfeeding mother, both physically and emotionally. That doesn't mean they cannot form bonds with other people at the same time but it does mean the mother is generally