igal’s father—of our heavenly Father
in my tub, dress Mandy in my clothes,
from hotheaded and confrontational to
who welcomes sinners back to the safety
braid Mandy’s hair with my ribbons,
humble and compassionate. Instead, it’s
of His home and family. Yes, my mom
and feed Mandy my food. And if no one
the gentleness of Jesus. And as we sit at
did ground me for a whole month. But it
came to get Mandy before nightfall, my
Jesus’ feet, we have the opportunity to
wasn’t punitive. Because my mom cov-
mom would place Mandy in my bed,
become more like Him. Not by our might
ered her parental authority with com-
read Mandy my bedtime story, and say
nor by our power but by God’s spirit of
passion, her discipline was protection
my bedtime prayers with Mandy.
gentleness, we can change the atmo-
instead of punishment
8
It really irritated me to have to
sphere of our homes by choosing to give
Perhaps the most memorable ex-
share my mom with Mandy. So when my
a soft answer instead of escalating an
ample of my mom exuding the gentle-
mom wasn’t looking, I’d pinch Mandy or
argument. By God’s spirit of gentleness,
ness of Jesus is our family’s five-sec-
pull her hair. One day, Mom caught me
we can change the environment at our
ond rule. You know it: when you drop
in the act of pinching Mandy and mak-
jobs by choosing to collaborate instead
the double chocolate chip cookie on the
ing her cry. She comforted Mandy then
of competing. By God’s spirit of gentle-
floor, after you’ve been looking forward
took me aside to talk. She explained that
ness, we can change our neighborhood
to eating it all day, you have five seconds
Mandy was a little girl who needed the
by choosing to be selfless and sensitive
to pick it up, dust it off, chant “God made
love of our family and needed a friend
to others instead of being self-cen-
dirt, so dirt won’t hurt,” then savor the
who was strong and kind like Jesus.
tered. I’m thankful for the gentleness of
cookie melting in your mouth. My mom
Mom told me I would make the perfect
Christ and the example of my mother.
taught me that the five-second rule ap-
friend for Mandy because I was bigger
As I minister to others I constantly pray,
plies to people too, but it lasts a lifetime.
than Mandy and I knew how to be gentle
“Jesus, teach me to be gentle like you.”
I was in first grade, and every day
with smaller people. My mom asked me
My mom still mentors with abused,
after school I would wait for my mom
to try being Mandy’s friend for one day
neglected, and pregnant girls. It’s never
to come home from work. She taught at
by acting as gentle and kind with Man-
a surprise to see someone at her kitch-
the school down the hill from our house,
dy as I could. One day turned into three
en table being nourished by “Mama
and my older sister would allow me to
days; three days became a month; and a
Pearl’s” comfort food, endless patience,
wait on the porch for Mom. But I wasn’t
month became a year. It was many years
and listening ear. I first learned com-
the only person waiting. Every day, one
later that I learned that Mandy’s parents
passion, advocacy, justice, and minis-
of our neighbors—a little girl who I’ll
were neglectful and addicted to drugs.
try from my mom. She’s my picture of
call Mandy—came outside, played in the
By that time my mom had instilled in
who Jesus is. I can truly say the world
dirt, and intercepted my mom. My mom
me what gentleness is—allowing God to
is a better place because of my mom.
would walk up the hill, scoop Mandy
use my strength and power to care for
Thanks, Mums! I love you! n
up, and bring her to my house. By the
others and do good instead of harm.
time Mom reached the porch, she would
Throughout the Gospels Jesus is
be covered in Mandy’s dirt. Mom would
depicted in His interactions with var-
lean down to kiss me, but I turned away.
ious people, and each picture captures
Mom would pat my shoulder and remind
His gentleness. It’s not harsh judgment
me of the five-second rule: “God made
that transforms the woman at the well
dirt, so dirt won’t hurt.” Then she’d
from adulterer to evangelist, Zacchae-
take Mandy into my house, wash Mandy
us from greedy to generous, and Peter
PA C I F I C U N I O N R E CO R D E R
Darriel Hoy is the director of Children, Youth, & Young Adult Ministries of the Nevada-Utah Conference.