How to Build a Happy Life BY BRADFORD C. NEWTON
W
hat’s the secret to a hap-
And congregational life is at times
comes in rehearsing my own journey
py relationship? Aside
blighted by arguments that break out
towards healthy and balanced rela-
from those few human
over remarkably trivial things.
tionships. I’ve been watching, learn-
beings among us who seem to like fighting and fussing about everything
Someone long ago left a church meeting and wrote,
ing, and adopting what the amazing people in my life model every day. While no one person gets it right all
with everybody, the rest of us know that life is more joyful and fulfilling
“To dwell above
the time, they are my relationship
when there is harmony (at least most
with the saints we love
heroes.
of the time) with those with whom we
will be grace and glory.
are traveling this life. Whether it’s in
But to live below
come to know in just a little more
the realm of friendship, work, mar-
with the saints we know,
than three years who continues to
riage, neighborhood, or church, most
now, that’s a different story.”
help me grow my understanding of healthy and balanced relationships.
everyone wishes they could have at least a small slice of that special skill
There is one individual that I have
It’s evident that being a church
My granddaughter Macy always
that makes getting along with people
member (even an Adventist) doesn’t
makes other people happy when
easier.
make you immune to relationship dif-
they are around her. She exudes a
ficulties. Atheists and Christians alike
joy that is contagious. As she and
around since Adam and Eve. And for
fall prey to the inner brokenness that
I have become friends these past
nearly as long there have been ex-
feeds strife, jealousy, envy, criticism,
three years, I’ve learned that how she
perts ready with advice. Today a bevy
and that pallor of ugliness that we
interacts with her world gives me new
of magazine and newspaper columns,
wish wasn’t our default setting.
insights into building a life of happy
Relationship problems have been
radio and television programs, blogs,
So we try to fix these conflicts.
and healthy relationships. Here are a few I’ve noticed:
and books are chock-full of ready
Count to 10 and walk away. Write in a
answers to most every situation. As
journal. Pray harder. Attend another
long as people are living, working, and
church. Seek counseling. Read anoth-
Macy learned to walk and talk,
playing together they will be looking
er best-selling book on marriage. Talk
we soon noticed how easily she
for and needing help in cultivating
to a spiritual person for guidance.
approaches total strangers and
strong relationships.
Change jobs. Find new friends. Seek
introduces herself with, “Hi, I’m
a divorce. And along the way we
Macy!” She wants to be friends
when it comes to balanced and
become resigned to disappointment
with everyone. Most little children
healthy relationships? If we’re be-
and a lonely isolation.
respond very readily to this, as do
How are we doing in the church
ing honest, it’s not surprising that
But it need not be so. This article
Be open to new people. As
most adults. It’s especially fun when
professed Christians have the same
is entitled “How to Build a Happy Life”
she approaches teenagers. They
problems as everyone else: strained
because as a disciple of Jesus I know
look puzzled by this little friendship
marriages, fractured friendships, fam-
of a better way than what passes for
ambassador yet somehow manage
ilies that don’t speak to each other.
normal in this world. This certainty
6 PA C I F I C
U N I O N R E CO R D E R
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