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Connection, community, and belonging are possible, even in silence – perhaps more deeply because of silence.
What would I be missing?
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them. We peered at one another and they continued to eat. I had never been so close to deer.
I wanted to honor my commitment to the community vow of Noble Silence, but I hadn’t met my cabin mate yet when we were given the instruction. What if my cabin mate wasn’t as serious about our common oath and considered me rude? Would this Noble Silence be more like awkward silence?
This final encounter was the moment that convinced me of what was already percolating inside. Connection, community, and belonging are possible, even in silence - perhaps more deeply because of silence. We can feel connected to people without knowing everything about them.
It turned out to be perfect. The entire retreat campus was calm and serene. I enjoyed wordless meals surrounded by hundreds of shuffling feet, clanging forks, and mindful bites.
We can grow and strengthen community just by being in each other’s presence and we can nurture a deep sense of belonging beyond the borders and boundaries of affiliation – even between species.
I was sad when the silence was over. Dinner following our full day of silence was a blur of boisterous chatter. It was difficult to find a place to sit. People lingered longer, indulging in the opportunity to socialize. My cabin mate and I got to get to know each other. She was great – it’s a Buddhist thing. Truly, I haven’t met a whole lot of Buddhist assholes – just saying. What was more awesome is that she thought I was in my early 20’s. When she learned I was married with children and have my own business, she had to ask my age (I’m *gasp 40). Maybe I should stay silent more often *wink.
I came home with a greater sense of calm. I am not saying I am going to run off to an extended silent retreat anytime real soon, but I am committed to saying less and simply being more for now.
On my last day, I hiked the grounds in my own Noble Silence. I encountered a couple of deer at the end of my hike. My presence didn’t startle
wellfitinstitute.com
Meet me next September 26-28 at Omega Institute for Pema’s workshop on Basic Goodness.
Jill Wheeler, M.A., LPC, Therapist, Life Coach, Leadership Consultant, Writer, Yoga/SUPyoga Instructor, Adventurer, Athlete, lululemon Ambassador. Kitesurfs, Climbs, Breathes…Owner of the Wellfit Institute, wellfitinstitute.com.
Photos: Erik Kellar
M A N T R A M A G . C OM
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