On Life and Love after 50
The 14 G’s of Dating for Mature Adults Tom Blake
Men and women over age 50 often ask me for dating tips. What can they do as they grow older to meet a prospective mate? Here are my 14 G’s for 50-plus dating. 1. Get off the couch and out of the house. This advice is always the first I mention. It’s so simple and yet so important. 2. Get involved in activities you enjoy where you will meet new people. Unsure of where to go? Check out Meetup (www.meetup.com) for a list of clubs and activities in your area. There are thousands of activities across the U.S. Granted, some are for the younger set; simply weed out those choices. And the site is free! 3. Go alone to these activities if you have to, if you can’t find a friend or group of friends. Granted, this isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do, but it still beats sitting home alone wishing you were somewhere else. 4. Get organized. Don’t wait to plan for upcoming holidays. If you have nowhere to go for July 4, for example, consider volunteering. Try an activity that makes you feel good; nothing is better than helping others. Plan ahead for other holidays as well. Invite others who have nothing planned to your home for a small potluck dinner party. Start rounding up your single friends now. 5. Go out to enrich your life, but not with the sole purpose of seeking a mate. If the only reason you go out is to find someone, you will become discouraged and frustrated because meeting someone may not happen right away. It might not happen at all. But if you go out to broaden your horizons and enjoy new experiences, just getting out is a great accomplishment. 6. Get it in gear. Meeting new www.50plusLifePA.com
people, making new friends, and finding a mate at this stage in our lives require energy and making a concerted effort. It’s like seeking a job in the current economy, which is difficult. The people who are successful work the hardest at networking and putting resumes out there. The same goes for meeting a mate: Make the process as important as you would if you were seeking a job. 7. Get assertive. Note: I am not saying aggressive, but assertive. There is a big difference. Start conversations with strangers— on a plane, standing in line at the post office or at the bank, waiting for your car to be washed, in line at Starbucks—anywhere there are people waiting and biding time. If you see someone who looks kind, warm, or friendly, don’t hesitate to make a simple comment or ask him (or her) a question: how he likes the book he’s reading or the car he’s driving. This tip applies especially to women. 8. Gain flexibility. Open your mind to new avenues, new cultures, and new thinking. 9. Gain efficiency. Don’t waste time by playing games. Either people are interested in a relationship or they aren’t. If you meet someone you think might be a potential partner, and the excuses start flowing, or the games begin, move on. 10. Gain confidence. Improve your appearance; add exercise to your daily regimen. Eat healthy foods. Take care of yourself. You will have more positive energy, which will make you a more
desirable person. Present a positive attitude. A smile is the ticket to making yourself approachable and likeable, both necessary when you are seeking a new mate. 11. Grieve and heal before you begin looking for a new mate. If you’ve recently lost a spouse or partner, give it all the time you need. But that doesn’t mean you don’t go out to enrich your life and be involved with new people. That helps to overcome loneliness. Your life is not over; it has just changed.
12. Gain knowledge and insight through learning and enjoying new experiences. Go back to school. Take an acting class. Travel. 13. Go gray. Remind yourself that being single later in life isn’t so bad. In fact, it’s pretty darned good. It gives you the freedom to do and pursue whatever you want. 14. Give yourself credit and a pat on the back from time to time. After all, you’ve made it this far in life. And, there’s a lot of life ahead to live. For dating information, previous articles, or to sign up for Tom’s complimentary, weekly e-newsletter, go to www. findingloveafter60.com.
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