RIDING HERD by Lee Pitts
Buyer Beware
R
ecently I called a plumber friend to order a toilet thinking I’d get it cheaper than buying it from a big box store or the local hardware store. The toilet was delivered to my house and in preparing to install it I noticed something was missing: THE SEAT! Now, I think we can all agree that the seat is a fairly important part of the apparatus, just ask any woman who constantly tells her husband to put the seat down after use, otherwise she might sit down and get stuck, and calling the fire department to get removed from your toilet is not something you’d want talked about around town. When I went to the local hardware store to buy a toilet seat I noticed a banner saying that a popular brand of a battery powered drill was only $79. But then I read the small print and discovered that did not include the battery or the charger. That was $159 extra! I felt like I was ten years old again on Christmas morning when you got a toy you couldn’t play with because ‘batteries were not included!’ We’ve become a nation of salesmen, promoters and hucksters. We sell stuff better than we make it. For example, my wife and I were picking out wood flooring to redo our kitchen floor and after looking at samples for 30 minutes we finally decided on one we both liked. Then the salesman informed us it was out of stock and he didn’t know when it would be available, if ever. It reminded me
of buying a can of nuts with a bright label speak to me again if I sold him a bull that that showed what we could expect once we wasn’t semen tested. So whenever an opened the can. The label showed numerous untested Limousin bull came through the cashews, (my favorite) but it had one half of ring I said in a normal voice, “Not semen one cashew in the entire can! The pizza joint tested.” in our town advertises that they are ‘the When I got home a week later there was home of the $8 pizza’ but that’s just for the a letter waiting for me from a Limousin crust and the sauce. If you want pepperoni, breeder who sold his untested bulls at the cheese and olives they’re two dollars each so Cow Palace and said he was going to sue me their $8 pizza is really $14! if I didn’t pay him the difference between Sometimes we’re outright lied to. As a what his untested bulls brought and the child I wanted a coonskin cap because Daniel average of the tested bulls. He also threatBoone supposedly wore one only to find out ened to sue me for defamation of character. as an adult that he never did. Asthma Ciga- And all I had done was tell the truth because rettes did not cure cancer, Dr Koch’s Cure I thought that buying a bull that wasn’t All was little more than distilled water, one semen tested was like buying a toilet without size does not fit all, wearing sneakers doesn’t a seat. make you look skinny and you can’t ‘wash and wear’ clothes without looking like a Burning Questions homeless person. And why is every item in I know the cowboy and cowgirl commuthe grocery store ‘New and Improved?’ I nity looks to me as a stylish trendsetter who don’t want new and improved, I want ‘old is always in fashion. As a man of few fashion and reliable’. surprises who owns at least three pairs of And whatever happened to ‘truth in jeans and a stack of T shirts, some even advertising?’ without colorful pictures of cows or cars on I am reminded of an incident where them, I realize I have a responsibility to share telling the truth almost got me sued. I was my insight as to what’s fashionable. working ring at the all-breed bull sale at San I’m constantly barraged with questions Francisco’s Cow Palace which always like, “What’s in style, shotgun chaps or attracted a big crowd. For some reason I’ll chinks? Fringe or no fringe, vest or no vest, never understand the Cow Palace didn’t Pendleton or polyester, a feather in one’s hat require their consignors to semen test their or a hat band, belt or suspenders, wrist watch bulls ahead of the sale. I’ve never heard of or pocket watch, jinglebobs on your spurs or another bull sale that didn’t semen test their no jinglebobs? bulls. As a leatherworker I’m often asked if it’s The Limousin bulls always seemed to fashionable to put your name on the back of have the highest breed average because two your belt or did that style go out with Lyndon good cattlemen always got in a bidding war Johnson? (I prefer initials on the tip of your over them. They were both my friends and belt.) And yes, you should wear a belt and always sat in my section where I was taking pull up your pants. Even though teenagers bids. One of the men told me ahead of time, are often seen with their pants pulled down “You let me know if a bull isn’t semen tested like they have $500 worth of nickels in them, because I don’t want one!” And the other it’s not a style that will ever catch on with the bidder was a dear friend of mine. In fact, I cowboy crowd. Can you imagine Trevor gave the eulogy at his funeral. He’d never Brazile getting off his horse after roping a
PRODUCING GENETICS THAT WILL IMPROVE YOUR BOTTOM LINE.
march 13, 2023
WILLCOX ALL-BREED BULL SALE FEB 27, 2023
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FEED EFFICIENT GENETICS OUR MOTHER HERD IS IN THE TOP 20% FOR DRY MATTER INTAKE (DMI)