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By Fabrizio Catalfamo @newage1962
Affective dependence is characterized by compulsive obsessiveness and impulsiveness in relating to the other person. There is a clear tendency to put the other first so their wants and needs matter much more than themselves.
he first phase of this cycle is the so-called phase of attraction, in which the emotional dependent, whether man or woman, is attracted by seduction and therefore by the apparent power that someone who is very busy in things, strong, capable of managing their own life, while the emotional dependent feels unable to go it alone and therefore needs someone to make him feel strong and important. The second phase of the cycle, is called the "phase of the Savior's
fantasy", basically a sort of infantile fantasy of the hero who saves the dependent affective is reactivated, feels revitalized by the attention and proximity of the partner, as under the effect of drugs, the partner is idealized and his real characteristics are not clearly seen. In the third stage, we have relief, the emotional dependent, feels filled, feels important and no longer experiences the feeling of emptiness, hence loneliness and feels valued. This is the socalled phase of the godless. At this point, the fourth phase starts,
the one in which there is an increase in the need of the dependent, together with the denial of the partner. In practice, the dependent begins to perceive a growing need for attention and therefore presence. The partner is perceived as essential and begins to escape, becoming less and less present in the relationship. But the emotional dependent, does not want to see these moles with evidence, continually justifying in part and thinking for example that he/she is very busy at work, that he/she has the right to spend some time with friends, etc.
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I'M Italian Issue 11 January 2021
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Photo by Inzmam Khan
There is a cycle, a kind of emotional circuit of dependence