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Issue 13 MASSIVE: The Pride Issue

Page 20

Solicited Advice

From Pocket

Solicited advice is a weekly column where Massive’s own four-legged Agony Aunty, Pocket, shares her wisdom and experience with you all. She speaks only truths.

Hi Pocket, there’s a girl I like. How do I subtly let her know that I’m gay af?

You would not believe how many times I have been asked this question (thrice). For years, I have had forlorn lesbians pat me mournfully, for my sleek and soft fur is extremely calming for those in a state of lovesickness. A terrible affliction I try to avoid myself, but I understand it to be an inherent human folly. If you’ve already tried cuffing your jeans, piercing your nose, and putting your keys on a carabiner, I can only suggest casually mentioning an ex-gf in front of the object of your affections in your next design lab and hoping she picks up the hint.

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Do you have a question you’re dying to have answered? DM Massive Magazine on Instagram or editor@massivemagazine.org.nz and look out for next week’s issue - no question is too difficult for Pocket.


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