all the red flags
writing melody cui | art mishty bansal (content warning: domestic abuse & body image)
1.
You told me I couldn’t have a “guy best friend” but that I could have just “guy friends.” I didn’t know what differentiated the two. You said “guy best friends” are always into the girl, and that you would know. I asked why you could have a “girl best friend” because didn’t that imply you were into her? You said it was different.
2.
We argued. A lot. Some people say a healthy relationship includes disagreements. But I don’t think that’s applicable when the arguments happen on a nightly basis. You altered my words, escalating solvable misunderstandings into static screams. We fought
over the smallest, most inconsequential things, and when you were frustrated, you would hang up. You always called me back fifteen minutes later, apologizing.
3.
Locker room talk. You would comment on other girls’ bodies right in front of me — too big. too wide. too small. I couldn’t help but look down and analyze myself, comparing my body with those you were critiquing, or if you were generous, praising. You talked about it for hours, ignoring how uncomfortable I was as I stared at you in silence, hoping you would notice and stop. I mentally apologized to each and every girl you talked about.