23
BITCH
KIMMEL OBITCHUARY:
Cause of death: Kent's early bird special.
words by Eleanor Quarles illustrations by Anastasia Powell
JERK 2 - 21
It’s 2 a.m. on a Friday. You’re stumbling down Comstock with your friends. All you can think about is getting a Queso’s quesadilla or a bacon cheeseburger — and some waffle fries, obviously. It’s dark out and your vision is a little blurry, but in the distance you can see it: the bright lights of Kimmel, illuminating frat row like a lighthouse, calling you home. Soon you’ll be crammed in a four-person booth with ten of your closest friends, carefree and blacked out. Everything will be as it should be. Kimmel was a beloved institution on Syracuse’s campus. It was home to some of our most valued treasures including the holy trinity: Dunkin’, Queso’s, and Trios. No matter what we were craving, no matter what meal of the day it was, Kimmel was ready to give us what we needed. It even had a freaking HäagenDazs to satisfy our after-dinner sweet tooths. It may not have been much to look at, but the ambience was impeccable. At mealtimes, it buzzed with activity. On Friday mornings, it was a quiet spot to study with friends while sipping Dunkin’ iced coffees. Late night weekends found it packed to the brim with intoxicated students, all laughing and keeping the party alive. What we would give to spend a few more moments on those uncomfortable booth seats, tailbones aching, listening to the soft murmur of daytime television, and having the time of our lives. Unfortunately, we never got to say a proper
goodbye to Kimmel, as it was suddenly and tragically closed over winter break. The administration, in a heartless and blindsiding decision, chose to close the top tier food court on campus and send everyone to the newly-renovated Schine Student Center instead. While the student body was very excited to have CoreLife and Panda Express on campus — and Dunkin’ having coffee on tap is pretty cool — Schine has thus far failed to replace the irreplaceable. Kimmel would have never subjected us to an hour-long wait for a salad or forced us to get dinner at an hour that would, quite frankly, only be acceptable as an early-bird special. Although our time together was cut short, we will cherish every moment spent in Kimmel. From morning Dunkin’ to midday pick-me-ups, from dinner with friends to late night eats, it never let us down. Kimmel was always there for us, and for that, we are eternally grateful. Kimmel, we will be sure to honor your memory and carry on your legacy with us each and every day. Although we may eat in Schine now, we will always be thinking of you. Rest in peace.