Poetry and Art by Young Mothers Studying at The Care Center
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VOLUME 19, SPRING 2021
Nautilus II Poetry and Art by Young Mothers Studying at The Care Center
Volume 19, 2021
Nautilus II Volume 19, 2021
Student Editorial Board Jaeleiny Alberto Haley Barber Christina Cislak Laisha Correa Daniela Ortiz Aaliyah Pereira Stephany Rodriguez Wilnelyz Suarez
From left to right: Laisha Correa, Christina Cislak, Haley Barber, Wilnelyz Suarez
Staff Editors Tara Bernier, Managing Editor Julie Lichtenberg, Art Editor Marjory Zaik, Contributing Poetry Editor Ana Rodriguez, Contributing Poetry Editor Design and Production Craig Malone Cover Art Aliyah Santana
© 2021 Nautilus II No portion of Nautilus II may be reproduced without permission. ISSN 1938-5994 Nautilus II was named in honor of Elizabeth Towne, 1865–1960, publisher of Nautilus magazine, a journal of New Thought, which was produced in the building now known as The Care Center.
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A Note to Our Readers A t T h e C ar e C enter , writing and making art are important parts of our growth and learning. As we take the time to tell our stories and share our feelings and perspectives, we come to understand ourselves better. Sometimes the stories we tell are painful, other times joyful. Sometimes, we are surprised by what emerges when we express ourselves. We learn that we are more powerful than we may have thought we were. Always, we recognize that our creative work is valid, honest, and real. This has been a year like no other. We attended school remotely until July, and then had classes both in person and at home. We did this all while managing our children’s needs and schooling, while worrying about our world, and the health of our families and friends. This year has not been easy, but here we are. Our readers will learn that young mothers are smart, strong, capable, hopeful, and powerful. We are thoughtful, loving, straightforward, brave, and open-minded. We study, write poems and stories, and make art, all while caring for ourselves and our children. We are proud of ourselves, and we admire each other. The work that we have chosen for this edition of Nautilus II reflects all of that about us, and more. We hope that the words and images in this volume not only inspire understanding in our readers, but also encourage them to write their own poems and make their own art. Sincerely, The Student Editors Spring 2021 Volume 19
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Acknowledgments E ach y ea r th e c reation of Nautilus II represents a team effort. We would like to thank everyone at The Care Center for their support: the school’s students, staff, and well-wishers. In particular, we thank Anne Teschner, Executive Director, for her kindness and her belief in us, Jane Slater, Director of Donor Relations, Susan Madamba, Director of Administration and Finance, and Karen MacDonald, bookkeeper, for making sure that Nautilus II and other projects are possible. We thank Education Director, Ana Rodriguez, and our teachers Tara Bernier, Julie Lichtenberg, Hayley Murphy, Caroline Stewart, and Marjory Zaik, for pushing us and not letting us quit. We thank Jenna Sellers and the counseling staff, Carmen Vicenty and Shanealia Jernigan for listening to our concerns and helping us set goals to problem solve in order to enhance our lives, and the lives of our children. We thank Emily Laufer, for making sure we go to college and have a good future. We are grateful to Aida Diaz and the caring professional daycare staff: Jenifer Rivera, Mayra Rivera, Leti Rodriguez, Millie Rodriguez, and Zuleyka Rodriguez. Without them, we could not be in school. We want to thank Martha Spiro, Nurse Practitioner, who takes care of our health and the health of our children; Sally Sarabáez, administrative assistant, who has organized the distribution of all of the care packages we received during the pandemic; and Maria Navarro who has kept the building clean and sanitized this year, and always. We would also like to thank all the students who offered artwork and poetry for our consideration. Thanks to the National Endowment for the Arts, the Massachusetts Cultural Council’s YouthReach Program, Wil Hastings, and the Department of Public Health for funding our literary series and this publication. Craig Malone: thank you for your patience and your good work! We learn from you, and the journal would not happen without your help. Finally, we would like to thank our families, especially our children, who are our motivation. They inspire us to move forward and make us stronger. IV / Nautilus II
Contents A NOTE TO OUR READERS II ACKNOWLEDGMENTS IV POETS OF THE CARE CENTER 1 Jaeleiny Alberto, Six Word Memoirs . . . . . 3 Jaeleiny Alberto, Young Mother . . . . . 4 Jaeleiny Alberto, Because of Her . . . . . 5 Jaeleiny Alberto, July 3rd, 2020 at 7:31 . . . . . 6 Christina Cislak, Your Own Carnival . . . . . 7 Christina Cislak, Feelings . . . . . 8 Christina Cislak, My Dilemma . . . . . 9 Rosemary Cintron, Such a Good Heart . . . . . 12 Rosemary Cintron, Untitled . . . . . 13 Aleshkalekandra Colon, House of Motivation . . . . . 14 Aleshkalekandra Colon, Carpe Diem . . . . . 15 Laisha Correa, Summer . . . . . 16 Xiomara Cruz, Why . . . . . 17 Stephanie Ocasio, Someday . . . . . 18 Daniela Ortiz, More Fish . . . . . 19 Daniela Ortiz, What is Life? . . . . . 20 Aaliyah Pereira, Puerto Rico . . . . . 21 Aaliyah Pereira, Angry . . . . . 22 Stephany Rodriguez, Nothing Comes Easy . . . . . 23 Stephany Rodriguez, Someday . . . . . 24 Adamari Valentin, The World Calls You Small, and You Talk Back . . . . . 25
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CONTENTS
I AM FROM 26 Jaeleiny Alberto, I Am From . . . . . 27 Haley Barber, I Am From . . . . . 28 Christina Cislak, I Am From . . . . . 29 Laisha Correa, I Am From . . . . . 30 Wilnelyz Suarez, I am From . . . . . 31 Adamari Valentin, I Am From . . . . . 32 ART PROJECTS 33 Idianny Almanzar . . . . . 38 Haley Barber . . . . . 54 Janelis Cartagena . . . . . 34 Christina Cislak . . . . . 35, 41, 43 Laisha Correa . . . . . 53 Xiomara Cruz . . . . . VIII, 2 Breana DeJesus . . . . . 34 Ashley Duperault . . . . . 47 Carol Torres Jimenez . . . . . 36, 40 Jennieliz Lopez . . . . . 37, 41, 45 Zaidajuly Martinez . . . . . 47 Justine Mohr . . . . . 34, 38 Daniela Ortiz . . . . . 34, 39, 52 Stephany Rodriguez . . . . . 49, 50, 51 Tania Rolon . . . . . 44, 46 Erica Santos . . . . . 33, 48 Wilnelyz Suarez . . . . . 40 Adamari Valentin . . . . . 36
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CONTENTS
AUTHORS VISIT THE CARE CENTER 55 BARD 63 Jessica Buswell, Remember When . . . . . 64 Emy Collins, Sweet Magnolia . . . . . 66 Kia Diaz, Thankfully Away . . . . . 67 Amy Hendrickson, Opal Rings . . . . . 68 Amy Hendrickson, I’m Not Sorry for NOT Calling . . . . . 69 Eutrina Holley-Hodges, Untitled . . . . . 70 Shayna Little, How to Always Choose Life . . . . . 71 Keishla Perez, I’m Sorry That I’m Not Sorry . . . . . 72 Jasmine Smith, Waiting for You . . . . . 74 Jasmine Smith, Jasmine . . . . . 75 Katly Toles, How To . . . . . 76 Tiffany Vega, Ode to My Mother . . . . . 78 Siobhan Webb, The Knife Borne . . . . . 79 Siobhan Webb, Prepaid Call From: . . . . . 80 Siobhan Webb, Ublister and glitter, a Nocturne, a liquid reverb . . . . . 81 Joanita Young, How to be Joanita Young . . . . . 82 EVEN A GLOBAL PANDEMIC COULDN’T KEEP US DOWN 83 Class at the Center . . . . . 84 Art in Class . . . . . 88 Art at Home . . . . . 92 Outdoor Activities . . . . . 93 Graduation 2020 . . . . . 96
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Xiomara Cruz
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Poets of The Care Center
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ART PROJECTS
Xiomara Cruz
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Jaeleiny Alberto Six Word Memoirs Always looking for new, exciting hobbies. Very smart, responsible and kind hearted. Grew up fast, matured even faster. Have been through a lot, made me stronger. Never gave up, just tried harder.
Jaeleiny Alberto is the mother of Julianis, who was born in July of 2020. After Jaeleiny finishes her HiSET she would like to start a career or further her education. She enjoys taking walks with her daughter and improving her skills for her nail business.
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Jaeleiny Alberto Young Mother “Oh wow, a mother already?!” Hear it all too often. Instead of going to the mall and shopping, I’m changing diapers, and finding the best formula. But I am also going to school. I am focused. I am a business owner, And hard worker, determined to do good. An advocate for smaller voices, And someone my daughter can look up to someday. I am brave, and selfless. Highly educated. YES! A mother already. A hard working, proud, determined mother.
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Jaeleiny Alberto Because of Her Today I am happy. Why? Because of her. My joy, my heart, my world . . . my daughter. So tiny, so small, but she changes everything. Makes me proud. Every day I wake up happy. But why? Because of her . . . my entire world.
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Jaeleiny Alberto July 3rd, 2020 at 7:31 Labor is quite the journey. Most feel complete, pure and love, But I felt cold, aching pain. I saw red. I was scared, as I saw the light coming in and out. It was her warm touch, and gentle eyes that sparkle in the light, that made me feel complete. I don’t feel the need to hate any of you. Just to love my creation to the moon and back.
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Christina Cislak Your Own Carnival Why not wake up and seize the day? Even after only three hours of sleep. Never miss a day, that is one BIG MISTAKE. A carnival goes on as you lay away the day. Pme with excitement that may fade the coming day. Time to make the best of your life. Be in charge of your own Carnival. For there is excitement in each and every day.
Christina Cislak joined The Care Center program this past winter, and by April was a graduate. Christina’s beautiful daughter, Violet, is her biggest motivation. Christina is currently enrolled in Humanities 108, and she has applied to begin her college studies at Bard Microcollege Holyoke.
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Christina Cislak Feelings ALL OVER THE PLACE Who did more right for me and who did more wrong? Does this even matter? My Feelings are ALWAYS felt STRONG! Making it hard for me to stay or to go. My feeling of feelings sometimes does me wrong. I wish I was numb to the feeling of some. Love, people, baggage. I run. Far away.
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Christina Cislak My Dilemma Education. Separation. I am faced with a dilemma, to be with you or to part. To spread my wings as your leader, your world, your mother. Guilt. Shame. Distance. Thriving. Learning. Putting myself first. Guilt. Separation. Anxiety. I miss you. My arms ache to wrap around you. Decisions. Do I stay with you or do I part. My education is just the start. I love my life, I love myself. I miss you I am faced with this dilemma, it lingers in my mind. Years of suffering from depression. To miss out on so much.
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Fast forward, now. I am a social butterfly. My wings no longer wrap around you day to night. My wings have spread more than ever before. My guilt. I need you. I want you with me. I want an education. To provide To set an example. To bring my life to where it calls to be. I am used to being with you. Caring for you day and night. Me, just me, your mom. Now I face my dilemma. Trusting. The life I created, in the hands of another. Uncertainty. Guilt. Happiness. Growth. I am too, a butterfly parting from my cocoon, Just like my child has parted from my womb. Parting from my comfort, life as I knew.
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Change. Light. My garden of flowers continues to bloom. I still face this dilemma. As beautiful as it can be, it’s difficult. I miss you. It’s indescribable. Violet Rose is the most beautiful seed I’ve grown, cared for, and loved. Violet Rose is my garden. My garden of love. My garden of strength. My outlet of better, better everything. You inspire me.
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Rosemary Cintron Such a Good Heart I don’t understand why my daughter bites people. I don’t understand why people can be so uncaring. I don’t understand why the world is not caring for their health. I don’t understand why the corona is happening. I don’t understand why we have to pay so many bills. I don’t understand why life has to be so hard. I don’t understand why I just have such a good heart. I don’t understand why we have to understand why.
Rosemary Cintron is the mother of two children. She is a conscientious student and a thoughtful writer who looks forward to completing her studies at The Care Center.
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Rosemary Cintron Untitled I don’t understand why does life have to be so hard I don’t understand why I have to be in a room full of people I don’t understand why people pay so much to get where they want to be in life I do understand that sometimes life can’t always be so easy
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Aleshkalekandra Colon House of Motivation A house of motivation with no vacation, only determination. Where those women are driven and all the love is given. Strength like a horse with nothing to lose, of course. The Care Center.
Aleshkalekandra Colon is the mother of two, has just started her studies at The Care Center, and is looking forward to passing her HiSET.
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Aleshkalekandra Colon Carpe Diem An old woman who is very wise, that has nothing to give but advice Enjoy your youth while it lasts ’cause when you’re old all you’ll have is your past Make every moment fun and loud before time starts running out
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Laisha Correa Summer An amazing time to feel free. To be happy and have a good time. Summer is my favorite season, nice and sunny, you can go out to the pool and have some fun!! I say it’s the best season of all. Summer makes me happy ’cause it brings out life, I mean the trees and flowers are blooming. The grass as green as grass. The sun so bright that you can barely see. The sky so beautiful and blue with so many clouds that take so many shapes and forms. Summer is gorgeous, summer is our time of freedom.
Laisha Correa joined The Care Center this spring, and is expecting her first baby in June. She enjoys drawing and participating in art class. After she finishes her HiSET she hopes to start college as soon as possible.
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Xiomara Cruz Why I wonder why I always wonder why I didn’t fit in I wonder why I always wonder why I couldn’t go outside I wonder why I always wonder why I had to grow up so fast I wonder why I always wonder why I put myself in someone’s hands who loved to chew me up and spit me out yet cradle me in the palm of his hands I wonder why I always wonder why they would watch every move that I made so they could keep my only thing I had There’s always a why never a what if
Xiomara Cruz is a proud mama to her toddler Xiara. She is a talented artist, and has participated in Art at Home virtual classes with The Care Center.
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Stephanie Ocasio Someday Someday, I, Stephanie Ocasio, want to win the lottery, some day, somehow and buy a house for myself and also for my mother. Someday, I hope to work at my dream job, and make a lot of money as well. Someday I want to meet my uncle again, and tell him how much I love him, and miss him. Someday I pray my mother gets better, and remembers me and her grandkids, and also, someday, I would love for her to walk again. Someday my kids will be so proud of me and my success, and someday I will make me proud as well.
Stephanie Ocasio is the mother of two children, and has just recently started her studies at The Care Center. After graduating The Care Center, she would love to work at an animal hospital and help animals.
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Daniela Ortiz More Fish Don’t let one fish tell you, you can’t do nothing that no matter what you do, you’ll always go back to that one fish Leave the fish alone, let it die, and open your eyes. There are more fish in the sea just be open and you will see, you didn’t ever need that one fish to live your life.
Daniela Ortiz is working hard to finish her studies with The Care Center and is currently enrolled in Humanities 108. Daniela has a oneyear-old daughter, a great sense of humor, and is looking forward to continuing her education.
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Daniela Ortiz What is Life? What is life if you don’t know what it means? What is life when you can’t pick yourself up when you’re down? What is life when you think you have it all? What is life when you think you can lose it all in a day? Life is when you wake up every day and do what you want to do no matter what people say or do. It’s your life, so live it how you want to.
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Aaliyah Pereira Puerto Rico I am happy today Because Of Puerto Rico I love my island very much I hope to go every year because it is beautiful I’d love to See you soon I have Never been to this beautiful island till now Love
Aaliyah Pereira is the mother of Jai’lani. She enjoys spending time with her daughter outside of school. After passing her HiSET, Aaliyah would like to move back to Florida and start a new chapter.
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Aaliyah Pereira Angry If angry were a color it would be red as red as a tomato If angry were a taste it would be just like a sour patch kid If angry were a feeling it would be as bad as a toothache If angry were a smell it would be rotten trash and if it were a sound it would be loud as fireworks
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Stephany Rodriguez Nothing Comes Easy I don’t understand why nothing comes easy in this world. I don’t understand why it’s harder to get through some days rather than others. I do not understand why all of my friends can never just get along. I don’t understand why girls always feel like they’re in competition. I don’t understand why my mom put me through what she put me through as a kid. I do not understand why I’m not close to my siblings the way I should be. I do understand not everyone is me.
Stephany Rodriguez is a graduate of The Care Center and the proud mother of her toddler son, Amari. She is currently enrolled in Humanities 108, and is looking forward to continuing her education.
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Stephany Rodriguez Someday Someday I will graduate with my diploma. Someday I will have a better bond with my parents. Someday things will go smoother for me. Someday I’ll be more at peace mentally. Someday my name will be next to “obstetrician.” Someday I’ll be going to Stanford in Cali for medical school. Someday. . .
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Adamari Valentin The World Calls You Small, and You Talk Back So small, do you eat at home? You’re just a child. Where’s your parents? Just wear a different one. You will grow maybe. You’re going to be that small forever. Runs, jumps, spins. Ooh, perfect. Just my size. Yes, it still fits. I don’t even need one. I ate too much. I’m full.
Adamari Valentin is mama to her son Ethaniel. She enjoys learning, and writing, and looks forward to finishing her studies at The Care Center soon.
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I Am From This year in poetry class we read poems from a variety of authors to learn and understand how poets utilize different writing techniques and methods. The following poems are after George Ella Lyon’s “Where I’m From.”
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Jaeleiny Alberto I Am From I am from loud music. From great food and huge crowds. I am from being kind and helpful. I am from oak trees, The thin crisp air and glistening sun. I am from big celebrations, mangu and empanadillas. I am from trips to the water parks. I’m from “I’ve given you everything.” And, “that’s what makes you beautiful.” Now I am from slipping memories, that were once reality, but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Jaeleiny Alberto is the mother of Julianis, who was born in July of 2020. After Jaeleiny finishes her HiSET, she would like to start a career or further her education. She enjoys taking walks with her daughter and improving her skills for her nail business.
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I AM FROM
Haley Barber I Am From I am from scrap books, from memories and “what ifs.” I am from bravery and strength. I am from a butterfly, Where changing makes you beautiful. I am from four walls and a roof, barbeques and roasting s’mores around the fire. I am from happiness on the holidays, Anger on days that end in y. I am from “everything happens for a reason,” And “every little thing will be alright,” Even now, I am from a butterfly, where changing will make me beautiful.
Haley Barber is a recent graduate of The Care Center. She is mama to her daughter Arianna. She enjoys camping, long drives, and other outdoor activities. She is hoping to become a mechanic, and open her own shop.
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I AM FROM
Christina Cislak I Am From I am from diapers and sleepless nights. From adventures and dress up. I am dramatic and bright. I am from beaches with hot sand, that give me an immediate sense of relaxation; a place where I can connect with my inner stillness and clear my mind. I am from Christina’s House, soup and stew. I am from Cinderella and the glass shoes. I am from resilience and beauty and I ain’t perfect I am from young to grown, bright and bold. I ain’t perfect, I see my self-worth and know I’m working.
Christina Cislak joined The Care Center program this past winter, and by April was a graduate. Christina’s beautiful daughter, Violet, is her biggest motivation. Christina is currently enrolled in Humanities 108, and she has applied to begin her college studies at Bard Microcollege Holyoke.
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I AM FROM
Laisha Correa I Am From I am from pens, from writing and scribbles. I am from loyal and loving. I am from lavender roses, love at first sight, royalty and majesty. I am from Chicopee, rice with beans and empanadillas. I am from hurt, I’m from selfish, and I want you all to myself. Even alone I am getting by.
Laisha Correa joined The Care Center this spring, and is expecting her first baby in June. She enjoys drawing and participating in art class. After she finishes her HiSET she hopes to start college as soon as possible.
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I AM FROM
Wilnelyz Suarez I am From I am from Springfield I am from a tiger I am from Puerto Rico, carne frita and mofongo fried pork I’m from “you got this” and “girl put your records on, tell me your favorite song.” Even alone, I am from a sunflower, “you go ahead, let your hair down.”
Wilnelyz Suarez is the proud mama of her eight-month old-daughter, Kehlani. She enjoys singing, going to the park with her daughter, and spending time with her family. When she completes her HiSET she would like to go on to complete a job training program and pursue a job in the medical field.
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Adamari Valentin I Am From I am from frames From pictures and paintings I am from chaoticness And from happiness I am from quenepas Whose branches dance in the wind I am from aprons and hammers From Malaves and Valentins I am from from loudness and big butts From lovers And fighters I am from bendícion I am from Sonia and Iris From pasteles y flan From north, south, east and west I am from struggle But there’s never a dull moment I am from those moments of history
Adamari Valentin is mama to her son Ethaniel. She enjoys learning and writing, and looks forward to finishing her studies at The Care Center soon.
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Art Projects
Erica Santos
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ART PROJECTS
Janelis Cartagena
Breana DeJesus
Justine Mohr
Daniela Ortiz
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ART PROJECTS
Christina Cislak
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ART PROJECTS
Carol Torres Jimenez
Adamari Valentin
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ART PROJECTS
Jennieliz Lopez
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ART PROJECTS
Idianny Almanzar
Justine Mohr 38 / Nautilus II
ART PROJECTS
Daniela Ortiz
Daniela Ortiz Volume 19 • Spring 2021 / 39
ART PROJECTS
Carol Torres Jimenez
Wilnelyz Suarez 40 / Nautilus II
ART PROJECTS
Christina Cislak
Jennieliz Lopez Volume 19 • Spring 2021 / 41
ART PROJECTS
Ninoshka Rivera
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ART PROJECTS
Christina Cislak
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ART PROJECTS
Tania Rolon
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ART PROJECTS
Jennieliz Lopez “Taina” (acrylic on canvas, 16” x 20”) This piece was featured in the Mass Cultural Council’s August 2020 newsletter. On her inspiration for the piece, Jennieliz says, “I love my African and indigenous roots. We’re in a situation right now where we are all talking about how black lives matter and there’s no room for us to be racist. We Puerto Ricans have African in us, indigenous Taino blood and European, and we need to acknowledge that. I’m proud of being a Taina and I’m proud of my African ancestry, as well.” Volume 19 • Spring 2021 / 45
ART PROJECTS
Tania Rolon
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ART PROJECTS
Ashley Duperault
Zaidajuly Martinez Volume 19 • Spring 2021 / 47
ART PROJECTS
Erica Santos
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ART PROJECTS
Stephany Rodriguez
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ART PROJECTS
Stephany Rodriguez
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ART PROJECTS
Stephany Rodriguez
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ART PROJECTS
Daniela Ortiz
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ART PROJECTS
Laisha Correa
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ART PROJECTS
Haley Barber
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ART PROJECTS
Authors Visit The Care Center
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ART PROJECTS
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ART PROJECTS
Virtual Poetry Readings
M arilyn C hin
Authors Zooming with students
Cheryl Boyce-Taylor
F ranny C hoi M artin E spada R oss G ay L ayli L ong S oldier L esléa N ewman L auren M arie S chmidt C heryl B oyce -T aylor Lesléa Newman
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AUTHORS VISIT THE CARE CENTER
Martin Espada
Marilyn Chin
September 29, 2020
October 28, 2020
Martín Espada has published more than twenty books as a poet, editor, essayist, and translator. His new book of poems from Norton is called Floaters. Other books of poems include Vivas to Those Who Have Failed (2016), The Trouble Ball (2011), The Republic of Poetry (2006) and Alabanza (2003). He is the editor of What Saves Us: Poems of Empathy and Outrage in the Age of Trump (2019). He has received the Ruth Lilly Poetry Prize, the Shelley Memorial Award, the Robert Creeley Award, an Academy of American Poets Fellowship, the PEN/ Revson Fellowship, and a Guggenheim Fellowship. The Republic of Poetry was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize. The title poem of his collection Alabanza, about 9/11, has been widely anthologized. His book of essays and poems, Zapata’s Disciple (1998), was banned in Tucson as part of the Mexican-American Studies Program outlawed by Arizona. A former tenant lawyer in Greater Boston, Espada is a professor of English at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst.
Marilyn Chin is the author of five collections of poetry, including most recently A Portrait of the Self As Nation: New and Selected Poems (W. W. Norton, 2018) and Hard Love Province (W.W. Norton, 2014), which won the 2015 AnisfieldWolf Book Award. In addition to writing poetry, she has translated poems by the modern Chinese poet Ai Qing and co-translated poems by the Japanese poet Gozo Yoshimasu. She is also the author of a novel, Revenge of the Mooncake Vixen (W. W. Norton, 2009).
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She has received numerous honors for her poetry including the 2020 Ruth Lilly Poetry Prize, the Literature Award from the American Academy of Arts and Letters, a Fulbright Fellowship to Taiwan, two National Endowment for the Arts fellowships, the PEN/Josephine Miles Award, and five Pushcart Prizes.
AUTHORS VISIT THE CARE CENTER
Franny Choi
Ross Gay
December 2, 2020
January 10, 2020
Franny Choi is the author of two poetry collections, Soft Science (Alice James Books, 2019) and Floating, Brilliant, Gone (Write Bloody Publishing, 2014), as well as one chapbook, Death by Sex Machine (Sibling Rivalry Press, 2017). She was a 2019 Ruth Lilly and Dorothy Sargent Rosenberg Fellow and has also received awards from the Rhode Island State Council on the Arts and Princeton University’s Lewis Center. Her poems have appeared in the New York Times, Poetry, Paris Review, American Poetry Review, and elsewhere. She co-hosts the Poetry Foundation’s podcast VS (it’s pronounced “verses”—get it?) alongside Danez Smith and is currently a Gaius Charles Bolin Fellow in English at Williams College.
Ross Gay is the author of four books of poetry: Against Which; Bringing the Shovel Down; Be Holding; and Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude, winner of the 2015 National Book Critics Circle Award and the 2016 Kingsley Tufts Poetry Award. His new poem, “Be Holding,“ was released from the University of Pittsburgh Press in September of 2020. His collection of essays, The Book of Delights, was released by Algonquin Books in 2019. Ross is also the co-author, with Aimee Nezhukumatathil, of the chapbook Lace and Pyrite: Letters from Two Gardens, in addition to being co-author, with Rosechard Wehrenberg, of the chapbook, River. He is a founding editor, with Karissa Chen and Patrick Rosal, of the online sports magazine Some Call it Ballin’, in addition to being an editor with the chapbook presses Q Avenue and Ledge Mule Press.
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AUTHORS VISIT THE CARE CENTER
Layli Long Soldier
Cheryl Boyce-Taylor
February 10, 2021
March 10, 2021
Layli Long Soldier earned a BFA from the Institute of American Indian Arts and an MFA with honors from Bard College. She is the author of the chapbook Chromosomory (2010) and the full-length collection Whereas (2017), which won the National Book Critics Circle award and was a finalist for the National Book Award. She has been a contributing editor to Drunken Boat and poetry editor at Kore Press; in 2012, her participatory installation, Whereas We Respond, was featured on the Pine Ridge Reservation. In 2015, Long Soldier was awarded a National Artist Fellowship from the Native Arts and Cultures Foundation and a Lannan Literary Fellowship for Poetry. She was awarded a Whiting Writer’s Award in 2016.
Cheryl Boyce-Taylor is a poet and workshop facilitator, born in Trinidad and raised in Queens, New York. A recipient of the 2015 Barnes and Noble Writers for Writers Award and a VONA fellow, she is the founder and curator of Calypso Muse and the Glitter Pomegranate Performance Series. Cheryl earned her MFA in creative writing from Stonecoast: The University of Southern Maine.
Long Soldier is a citizen of the Oglala Lakota Nation and lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
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She is the author of four collections of poetry: Raw Air, Night When Moon Follows, Convincing the Body, and Arrival. Cheryl’s verse memoir, Mama Phife Represents, stands as a tribute to her late son, hip hop icon Malik “Phife Dawg” Taylor of A Tribe Called Quest. Her work has been published in Black Lesbians— We Are the Revolution, Killens Review of Arts and Letters, Encyclopedia, Pluck!, Adrienne, Poetry, and Prairie Schooner.
V I S I T I N G AU T H O R S
Lesléa Newman
Lauren Marie Schmidt
May 5, 2021
June 21, 2021
Lesléa Newman is the author of 75 books for readers of all ages, including A Letter to Harvey Milk; October Mourning: A Song for Matthew Shepard; I Carry My Mother; The Boy Who Cried Fabulous; Ketzel, the Cat Who Composed; and Heather Has Two Mommies.
Lauren Marie Schmidt is the author of three previous collections of poetry: Two Black Eyes and a Patch of Hair Missing; The Voodoo Doll Parade, selected for the Main Street Rag Author’s Choice Chapbook Series; and Psalms of The Dining Room, a sequence of poems about her volunteer experience at a soup kitchen in Eugene, Oregon.
Her literary awards include creative writing fellowships from the National Endowment for the Arts and the Massachusetts Artists Foundation, two American Library Association Stonewall Honors, the Massachusetts Book Award, the Association of Jewish Libraries Sydney Taylor Award, the Highlights for Children Fiction Writing Award, a Money for Women/Barbara Deming Memorial Fiction Writing grant, the James Baldwin Award for Cultural Achievement, the Cat Writers Association Muse Medallion, and the Dog Writers Association of America’s Maxwell Medallion. Nine of her books have been Lambda Literary Award Finalists.
Her awards include the So to Speak Poetry Prize, the Neil Postman Prize for Metaphor, The Janet B. McCabe Prize for Poetry, and the Bellevue Literary Review’s Vilcek Prize for Poetry. Her fourth collection, Filthy Labors, chronicles her volunteer teaching experience at a transitional housing program for homeless women in her native New Jersey.
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ART PROJECTS
Bard Microcollege Holyoke In addition to being a preparation program for the HiSET, The Care Center is home to the nation’s first college for young mothers and low-income women.
At Bard Microcollege Holyoke, small groups of women participate in daytime classes to earn an Associate in Arts degree from Bard College. Celebrated professors teach the classes onsite at The Care Center. This year, for the first time, we have included work from Bard Microcollege Holyoke students who were enrolled in the spring semester poetry course.
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BARD
Jessica Buswell Remember When… I remember… when Nintendo was the gaming system children played. Duck Hunt, Zelda, Mario Brothers, were the Fortnite of my day, where to watch a new release meant a trip outdoors to the local Blockbuster store Computers, the internet, and cell phones were just beginning to take flight. Dogpile was the search engine and dial-up was everyone’s connection Climbing trees and swimming holes was what children did to pass the time. Glued outside until the clock struck nine. Parties in the parking lot of the local bowling alleys, dancing in the back of a redneck’s pick up truck and drinking 40s. A time when things were simpler and worries were amiss. When high school dances and your first kiss created feelings of true bliss.
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Jared Leto and Leonardo DiCaprio were the posters on our walls. My So-Called Life was a number one hit show and Melissa Joan Hart was the original witch y’all. Where Y2K would be the end of days. an Era of simplicity A different lifetime it seems to be.
Jessica Buswell is a sophomore at Bard Microcollege Holyoke graduating with her Associate in Arts in May 2021. She will be attending Smith College as an Ada Comstock Scholar in the fall.
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BARD
Emy Collins Sweet Magnolia Magnolias smell of dead fish and dry air Stagnant and never-changing Leaves brown like winter mud No joy lives in its bulbs Small and demure sitting beneath our feet No beauty resides in its branches Their trunks stand no chance against wind Sniffing flowers leaves a sour taste on the tongue Don’t seek shade at its base Magnolias never been sweet
Emy Collins is a sophomore at Bard Microcollege Holyoke graduating with her Associate in Arts in May 2021. She will be attending Smith College as an Ada Comstock Scholar in the fall.
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BARD
Kia Diaz Thankfully Away I chose happiness over drama, my peace over your lies, freedom instead of reporting back to you. No longer are you my jailer. I’m single, happy and safe. Gratefully praying to God and continuing to practice my faith. Proud of myself for walking away and leaving you right where you stand. Dealing with the problems you bring, no longer now because you’re no longer my man. Someone else can deal with your drama and lies, and cry themself to sleep. I’m in a better place without you, so I rejoice and no longer weep. I thank god everyday for giving me the strength to just forget you, move on, and be thankfully away.
Kia Diaz is a sophomore at Bard Microcollege Holyoke graduating with her Associate in Arts in May 2021.
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BARD
Amy Hendrickson Opal Rings
Amy Hendrickson is in her first year at Bard Microcollege Holyoke. She will graduate with her Associate in Arts in 2022.
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Laughing so hard tears come out Missing you Driving to NYC. Harlem Night Baby! Smiles Timberland Boots and Yankee Fitted Tattoos covering your body DANCING CHERISH MEMORIES HAPPINESS The Phone Call Your Mother’s Look on her Face Holding You Praying to get You BACK Crying, so many tears STILL MARCH IS TOUGH Tiffany, I will always MISS You Butterflies remind me of you BAD GAL BEHAVIOR Music Dancing Was always the best The Funeral The Burial The PAIN Losing You I also lost myself
BARD
Amy Hendrickson I’m not sorry for NOT calling Every time my KIDS were babies I would travel to you and come home always sad That needed to end You are always traveling Up and down the Pike You never once called to say were stopping by I’m not sorry my kids Don’t know you I have tried so many times It’s exhausting My sadness has made me The PERSON The MOTHER I am TODAY I’m not sorry for just seeing Tiffany and only wanting to see her At least she was THERE All the fights, bullshit you put me through I AM SURE YOU WERE SORRY As time passes Each day is not Promised I AM NOT SORRY For sending reminder texts that were are still ALIVE My KIDS are raised HAPPY I will break that CURSE I’m not sorry for WHO I AM Volume 19 • Spring 2021 / 69
Eutrina Holley-Hodges Eutrina Holley-Hodges is a sophomore at Bard Microcollege Holyoke graduating with her Associate in Arts in May 2021.
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BARD
Shayna Little How to Always Choose Life The night before laying in the grass, looking in the stars just knowing I am going to live forever. Waking up to the shiny sun coming through my window How to calmly arise for a pleasant day Floating in my steamy hot bath, with the salts and bubbles filling my sides How to completely relax for my day Adding the balance of eggs and toast, with the surprise of raspberry jelly How to deal without coffee for a peaceful day Saying I Love You every chance I get So I’m still learning how to never forget
Shayna Little is a sophomore at Bard Microcollege graduating with her Associate in Arts in May 2021.
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BARD
Keishla Perez I’m sorry that I’m not sorry I’m sorry for the embarrassment and side eyes When I brought my child into this world I’m sorry that you all felt the same when I did it again a year later I’m sorry to the critics when it happened again eight years later Then the next And now once more I’m sorry for the beautiful songs of their laughter Their beauty that seemed to bother you Each of the unique personalities that remind you how sorry I am Im sorry, these have been the best twelve years of my life The “mommy I love yous” And kisses goodnight The sports games and pageants where I cheered too loud with pride The beautiful tiny people and big ones already my size
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The family nights, a pizza, a movie, us cuddled up tight The avengers play fights The dinosaur noises The tiktoks and minecrafts The swimming, cooking, and life lessons I’m sorry is right, I’m sorry for the zero dollars and zero cents that you contribute while you judge I’m NOT sorry, however, Because they are mine.
Keishla Perez is a sophomore at Bard Microcollege graduating with her Associate in Arts in May 2021. She will be attending Mount Holyoke College in the fall as a Frances Perkins Scholar.
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BARD
Jasmine Smith Waiting for You On such a hot summer day, Happy birthday is what I wanted to hear. Not just from them, but from you. For the past 8 years, this date had been special. Not just for me, but for you too. The morning sun has crept through and like any other day, I let it shine . But today’s darkness was new. Without you, the sun still shined bright onto the wooden floor, where I sat, waiting for you. On my birthday. Feeling the breeze as it also crept thru the curtains. In my room where my imagination lived, I waited for you. And for some reason I never played with the thoughts of you not being here, on my birthday
.
Jasmine Smith is in her first year at Bard Microcollege Holyoke. She will graduate with her Associate in Arts in 2022.
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BARD
Jasmine Smith Jasmine The way you bloom, From the dirt & spread love, Like you’ve never been hurt Jasmine. Like you’ve never been confined to one way of growing, Your trauma has become encouraging. You are a symbol of awareness like you’ve Never been hurt by surrounding ignorance. You spread light & joy but you Fight because of the odds that have Always been against you. No matter the names of judgements with your decision making, I love you Jasmine.
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BARD
Katly Toles How To Explain to me how to make a difference in this world. How to make it a better place for you when you grow How do I make them understand you have as much right They must understand you bleed like them How to force them to say your name out loud For it to be spoken with respect as if it was their own name Your gender or color should not matter Explain to me how after all the battles we have fought You still don’t respect my presence in this world You keep wanting to erase my presence here as if I never was You brought my mother here against her will And now you kill her children every chance you get How will I protect my children from your assassinating ways? How can you look at yourself after all you have done?
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How do you explain to your child why her friend is no longer here? How do you sleep after all the murders you committed? When will you stop your murdering ways? How do I hide my remaining children so that they can survive? How do I get you to pay for your murders?
Katly Toles is a sophomore at Bard Microcollege Holyoke graduating with her Associate in Arts in May 2021.
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BARD
Tiffany Vega Ode to My Mother ode to my mother the one who’s always been here the person who made me who I am ode to my mother the woman who gave me life the woman whom I’m blessed to call my mom ode to my mother the woman with the most spirit and the biggest heart ever ode to my mother the most caring person in my life the most amazing woman to become a mom ode to my mother.
Tiffany Vega is a sophomore at Bard Microcollege Holyoke graduating with her Associate in Arts in May 2021.
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Siobhan Webb The Knife Borne blackout poem from
Shakespeare’s Macbeth I, v-vi
Conduct me to mine host love graces leave They exit. th’assassination Could trammel the Might be the be-all the end-all But here, upon this bank return our chalice To our own lips. He’s here kinsman subject, host, murderer the knife borne, against damnation babeSiobhan Webb is in her first year at Bard Microcollege Holyoke. She will graduate with her Associate in Arts in 2022.
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BARD
Siobhan Webb Prepaid Call From: Shakespeare’s Macbeth Act 1, Scene 5. lines 1-33 blackout poem from
alone, with a letter MACBETH met me, mortal in desire to question themselves they vanished. rapt in the wonder of missives from the King, Wyrd king. that promised heart, and farewell. promised. nature: too full of Art without illness false cries which fear undone spirits thine tongue all that impedes metaphysical aid.
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Siobhan Webb blister and glitter, a Nocturne, a liquid reverb in your eye the full moon Rising languid gleaming a glittering welt. a showman’s promise a shrinking failed call girl’s remembered bum luck. in Pursuit and in Retreat Of the Sunand its enduring fervor.
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BARD
Joanita Young How to be Joanita Young Spicy... like habanero peppers Side stepping these fake people Dripping with melanin, throwing shade without a word Just the way I walk keeps them in their feelings Resilience is on 100! Have you ever met a Goddess before? The pleasure is all yours, I’m sure Never forgetting to rep Jamaica from my core Because come on, being Jamaican is the epitome of blessed The rays of love permeating the being of all who enter my presence... that’s my gift She’s hot in every sense Sensitive soul, venerating her ancestors with her very being Confident. Brilliant. She is love personified
Joanita Young is in her first year at Bard Microcollege Holyoke. She will graduate with her Associate in Arts in 2022.
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Even a Global Pandemic Couldn’t Keep us down
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E V E N A G L O B A L PA N D E M I C
Class at the Center
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COULDN’T KEEP US DOWN
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E V E N A G L O B A L PA N D E M I C
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Zooming
ART PROJECTS
Virtual Photography Class with Hampshire College
Alexis Paul
Daniela
Eli | eli / they
Julie she, her, they
Stephany Rodriguez
Vaness they / them
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ART PROJECTS
Art in Class
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COULDN’T KEEP US DOWN
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E V E N A G L O B A L PA N D E M I C
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COULDN’T KEEP US DOWN
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E V E N A G L O B A L PA N D E M I C
Art at Home
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COULDN’T KEEP US DOWN
Outdoor Activities
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E V E N A G L O B A L PA N D E M I C
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COULDN’T KEEP US DOWN
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E V E N A G L O B A L PA N D E M I C
Graduation 2020
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COULDN’T KEEP US DOWN
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E V E N A G L O B A L PA N D E M I C
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COULDN’T KEEP US DOWN
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Nautilus II VOLUME 19
SPRING 2021
“The poets of The Care Center are fierce, determined, and intelligent young women who have a lot of important things to say. I urge you to read their poetry; doing so will enrich your life. It certainly enriched mine.” Lesléa Newman, author of Wish my Father
“These gorgeous, polyphonic voices cry out with love, compassion, joy and ample, ample pain. We cannot look away from the startling images. We cannot close our ears from the vivid yearning. This is a beautiful collection to behold and cherish!” Marilyn Chin Chancellor of the Academy of American Poets
“The Poems in Nautilus II are reminders that the best poetry is made, always of love. And it is made of the inquiries, curiosities, wanderings, and music made by that love. And love, as you know, makes space. Love pries open the world, it makes the world better for all of us. And so imagine our good fortune to be holding all this love in our hands! We are so lucky for this book, this brilliant book of love in the world!” Ross Gay, author of The Book of Delights
www.carecenterholyoke.org
Since 1986 The Care Center has worked with thousands of teens creating environments where they can succeed in a city where success eludes many young people. We strive to create in teens a sense of ownership of their education and future, as well as a sense of hope and possibility. We provide young people hands-on experiences and the tools of success that can make dreams real.
247 Cabot Street Holyoke, MA 01040 (413) 532-2900 ISSN 1938-5994 $10.00