Confessions of a shopaholic

DEAR AuNTyjI

My wife and I have lived in Australia for 15 years and we both have very good corporate jobs which pay well. We also have families in India and spread across the world. Auntyji, the problem is this. I like to look good when I go to the office - and so every few weeks or so, Shilpa and I go to the city to look at clothes and things for me. I know you might think I am an unusual man because I shop for clothes quite frequently. In any case, during each shopping expedition, while I am looking at clothes, Shilpa might buy something for herself, but then she spends the bulk of time trying to buy things for our extended families. Now our families are fairly well off in India so they don’t need things, but Shilpa is always buying buying buying for them. When I say something to her, she either laughs at me and says I lack generosity, or she gets cranky and tells me to be quiet (this mostly happens when the day is hot). Auntyji, our families in India don’t ask for gifts and they are doing even better than us. How do I get Shilpa to stop this unnecessary habit? by the way, I have to admit that the relatives love the gifts - but like I said, they don’t need them. Do

AuNTyjI SAyS

Arre kanjoos. What type of napunsak are you that you don’t see that it’s not so much about the gifts for your family, but about the fact that Shilpa is a caring, generous, loving human being - unlike the napasand daku that you are. The problem here is you. And how you managed to land a generous wife like Shilpa, and continue to hold onto her, is beyond me. So here is what you need to rethink - first unlock the darwaza of your akl and see the world through an abundance mindset. You are blessed beyond belief. That you have a stable well-paying job in one of the most stable, wealthiest countries on the globe is a gift. You have plenty of paisa. Your relatives have plenty of paisa. Yet where is your abundance mindset? Let me explain it to a nasamajh like you more simply. Shilpa cares about people, and when she buys gifts, it’s because this is her way of saying to her family, that she cares for them, and is thinking about them. And when she gives them the gift, she is essentially giving them a part of herself. She is giving them her love and affection, manifested in a physical gift. A bewakuf like you can’t be expected to understand what generosity of spirit looks like if it came and bit you on your matlabi booty. Do you even care about anyone other than yourself? If you stopped preening and parading in front of a mirror like a munni bhai getting dressed for a mujra, you would have more time to think about how you can be a better human being. And go buy Shilpa a gift. She deserves a thousand gifts for putting up with a budtehzeeb rogi like you.

March 2023 bY MINAL KHONA

Minal Khona has been reading tarot cards for the last two decades. She uses her intuition and connect with the cards mostly to help people.

If already married or in a relationship, communicate to avoid pent-up feelings of frustration from creating bigger problems. A trip could get postponed due to illness. Those in a relationship will receive signs whether it is working or not. Business expansion is on the anvil. Infections of the eyes should not be ignored. Watch your expenses as inflow of money may be restricted. A new career direction could come your way. Some of you may want to pick up a new skill.

You choose to focus on your career and upskilling for better prospects. Keep at it for best results. Singles, be careful if you meet someone new; they could be married. Check the fine print before signing important documents. Success at work with expansion and promotions will make you happy. An estranged ex could try to woo you back. Don’t jump into a new business venture before thoroughly checking the pros and cons. Eat more high energy foods and do only what you are sure of.

The mercurial Gemini picks the card for Libra making them slightly calmer. Seeking balance and a new perspective, you will rely on your intellect to solve problems. Singles could meet someone from the legal field. Be careful while travelling. Finances could get delayed and cause stress. Try new age remedies for any infections. Anxiety about an uncertain future at work could trouble you. Analyse a situation before you act. Practice detachment and meditation to control yourself from getting judgemental.

The card for Virgo appears, making Cancerians a bit finicky. If stuck in a rut, look for motivation in things you enjoy. A rocky marriage could come to an end. Seek medical attention for a health problem. Money owed to you will be delayed. The end of a relationship could make you long for a reunion. Withdrawing emotionally is your way of dealing with conflict at work. Let go of your ego and seek divine guidance. Wait for new ideas before you look for a different job.

Short trips, and letting go of something to gain something deeper are your focus in March. Singles will be open to meeting new people instead of pining over an ex. Support from seniors at work, a new job offer, and financial gains are foretold. Some of you may get nostalgic about a past event. More money than you expect is coming your way. Take rest to deal with health issues. Seek spiritual guidance if you feel empty despite everything working out for you.

Faith in the universe and a desire for spiritual growth will play on your mind. Singles will be wary of committing to someone and vacillate between yes and no. The self-employed will start a venture that puts them more in touch with people. Some of you will eventually find that new job you are looking for. Any discontent felt is a sign of spiritual growth and progress. Trust your intuition but don’t be impulsive while making decisions.

The card representing Sagittarius appears, making the balanced and cautious Librans a little bolder. Singles might even meet someone who is a Sagittarian. New beginnings in the form of a different way to do things at work can lead to financial gains. If estranged, you could reunite. A health condition will need medical attention. Overall, your finances improve but money owed to you will still be a while coming. Avoid stressful situations and stop settling for less than what you truly deserve.

Avoid focussing on what you lack, as it could add to your woes. You are plagued by self-doubt, difficult colleagues and financial hurdles so lie low and avoid confrontation. An unhappy marriage could have more problems. Money will come but watch your expenses. Let go if you are in a one-sided relationship. Soon, likeminded people will come into your life and things will improve. Even though you achieve success at work, an underlying spiritual quest will help you.

Events testing your faith and new partnerships are on the anvil. You will be successful in a business or financial transaction. Team effort matters, so keep your staff happy. Singles could get married this month. Those in an existing relationship see it getting better. This could also indicate a pregnancy. Take some rest if you have been working too hard. Don’t be indecisive about new actions. A long-held dream is manifested on multiple levels. Trust your vision and make it happen.

Singles will change their mind about seeing someone based on something they do. New beginnings on the work and personal front are foretold; spot the opportunities which may not come again. At work, conflicts get resolved and things get better. A spiritual practice will help you find meaning in everything you do. Do not ignore health problems. Finances improve significantly. An inspired idea could lead to a new business partnership or relationship. Accept what comes your way for it is a life-changing opportunity.

Everything you think you had dealt with could return to test your growth. These could be an ex, old habits, money or health issues, and the answer lies in seeking spiritual guidance. You need to create balance in your life on top priority. Refocus your energies elsewhere and see how something negative turns into a positive experience. Finances are fairly stable. Some of you will badly want to change your line of work. Overall, things will progress towards a happy ending this month.

You have divine protection this month as the cards indicate. Singles will stay unsuccessful in meeting someone they like. A sudden argument due to money matters could occur. Travel for work is indicated. A pet could need to go to the vet. Despite expenses, you need to stop worrying about money as it will come through multiple sources. Arguments will be resolved and look for a new approach to prevent them from happening again. Stay practical in all matters for best results.