D A R E
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“What God Has Joined Together”
Including articles on: Marriage • Dating • Divorce • Homosexuality • Children • and lots more!
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Higher Things
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ed ifi uc Cr Special Topical Issue:
Cross train your brain.
“The Core really made me think outside of the box and forced me to answer difficult questions, not accepting an “I don’t know” or “I don’t care” answer. It involved a lot of connection-making, which really helped me articulate my responses to difficult questions.”
Education should strengthen your brain, challenge you to ask questions, and build a strong foundation for your future. In Concordia University Irvine’s *nationally recognized Core curriculum, you will learn about God and service to the world through the cross of Christ. You will cross disciplinary boundaries by studying biology with theology, mathematics with philosophy, and history with literature. You will wrestle with questions and concepts of life that have endured across the centuries. You will cultivate sound academic habits and skills that apply across the curriculum, to your future careers, and life. Exercise your mind. Exercise your faith. Cross train your brain. H I G H E R T H I N G S __ 2
*Concordia University Irvine is a member of the Association for Core Texts and Courses’ Liberal Arts Institute. This prestigious institute— composed of 12 universities that include Columbia, St. John’s, Pepperdine, and Notre Dame—promotes “the integrated and common study of world classics and texts of major cultural significance” in general education programs across North America.
www.cui.edu/core
Scan here to learn more about the Core.
Contents T A B L E O F
Volume 14/Number 1 • Spring 2014
Special Features 4
6
8
Christian Marriage as Fellowship
By Rev. John Drosendahl “Mawage. Mawage is what bwings us togeder today. That bwessed awangement, that dweam within a dweam…” Think the Impressive Clergyman from The Princess Bride got it right? Perhaps if Humperdink hadn’t cut him off we’d have found out. Pastor Drosendahl, on the other hand, clearly explains God’s purpose in marriage.
Lustful in Adam; Chaste in Christ
By Rev. George F. Borghardt The completeness that God gave to Adam through Eve is something that we’ve taken and twisted since the Fall. This is why we so desperately need to remember what is true about us in Christ. As always, Pastor Borghardt gives us a huge serving of Gospel, seasoned with his impassioned expressiveness.
Baptized Not “Gay”
By Rev. Mark Buetow We’re not sinners because we sin; we sin because we are sinners. That is who we are in Adam. But as baptized Christians, we also are saints. That is who we are in Christ. Pastor Buetow boldly asserts that it is the very same with homosexuality. Who we are in Christ trumps that and every other struggle we have with sin.
10 My Parents Are Divorcing…Now What?
By Rev. William M. Cwirla You may be right in the throes of divorce at this very moment. Maybe it’s been a few years, but you’re still dealing with the fallout. Or perhaps you know someone else who is trying to navigate this storm of life. Pastor Cwirla’s Gospel-filled advice will buoy the most struggling of hearts.
12 Children: A Full Quiver of Blessing By Rev. Joel Fritsche Pastor Fritsche focuses on the many ways God blesses us through children, no matter what the circumstances. We especially get insight into His Fatherly love for us and see how God even blesses our neighbor through His gift of children to us.
14 Is Singleness Really a Gift? By Sandra Ostapowich Sandra is crystal clear as she lays out the answer to that question. And if you think you are going to find the same pat answers you tend to encounter about being single, think again.
24 Dark Addictions Need the Light
By Rev. Ryan J. Ogrodowicz Evil doesn’t take a vacation, but we do know where to find it: hiding the dark and buried in secrets. Pastor Ogrodowicz urges us to combat the struggle with pornography by boldly shining the light of the Gospel on it.
Regular Features 14 Poetry Page
18 Christ on Campus A Nerdy Lutheran’s Guide to Dating
By Rev. Sam Schuldheisz Wisdom can come from some very interesting places, which you’ll soon discover after reading Pastor Schuldheisz’ character-packed advice on dating.
20 Youth Y Ministry His and Hers: A YYouth Leader Couple’s Perspective on Marriage
By Bob and Cyndi Myers Years of working with youth have taught this dynamic couple a great many things, which is why we’re so privileged that they are so enthusiastically sharing their experience with us.
28 Catechism Chaste and Decent Lives
By Rev. William M. Cwirla There’s a whole lot more to the sixth commandment than you might think and we’re all guilty of breaking it in some way. However, Pastor Cwirla reminds us that it all boils down to God protecting us from the dangers of misusing His good gift of sex, which He intended to be enjoyed within the bounds of marriage.
30 Bible Study Baptized, not “Gay”
Be sure to check out this sample of one of our student Bible studies which links up with Rev. Buetow’s article on P. 8.
HigherThings
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Volume 14/Number 1/Spring 2014 Bible Studies for these articles can be found at: higherthings.org/ magazine/biblestudies.html Editor
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Higher Things® Magazine ISSN 1539-8455 is published quarterly by Higher Things, Inc., PO Box 156, Sheridan, WY 82801. No portion of this publication may be reproduced without the written consent of the executive editor of Higher Things Magazine. Copyright 2013. Higher Things® and Christ on Campus® are registered trademarks of Higher Things Inc.; All Rights Reserved. Printed in the United States. Postage paid at St. Louis, Missouri. For subscription information and questions, call 1-888-4826630, then press 4, or e-mail subscriptions@higherthings.org. (This phone number is only used for subscription queries.) For letters to the editor, write letters@higher things.org. Writers may submit manuscripts to: submissions@ higherthings.org. Please check higherthings.org/magazine/ writers.html for writers’ guidelines and theme lists.
S P R I N G 2 0 1 4 _ 3
Lustful in Adam, By Rev. George F. Borghardt
W
hen Adam saw Eve, it was on like Donkey Kong! She was the cream in his jelly donut, the icing on his cake, the Yin to his…well, you get the point. She was made from his side. He was “not good” without her.
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They were the happy ending to Romeo and Juliet. They were Edward and Bella without the fangs and blood. They were more royal than William and Kate and more perfect than Westley and Buttercup. And, like any good love story, when Adam saw Eve, the world froze for him. What else was he to do other than to break into song? “Finally! This is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh! She shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken from a man.” A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:23-24) Did she giggle like a school girl? How could she not? She completed him. She wouldn’t “be” without him. She loved him. He loved her. They were holy. They were pure. They were chaste. They were decent. It was friendship and like and love all in that one instant. They happily-ever-after-ed and were married. Then, came the
honeymoon and all the “twobecoming-one-flesh-ness.” Then, there was the Fall. Adam tried to possess Eve. They used one another. They turned their God-given desire for each other into something that would become its own god. They ate what was not given to them to eat. They disobeyed the God who created them and brought them together. Sin came into the world, and with sin came death. They fell and we all fell with them. Lust is one of the fruits of their fall. It is the twisted, fallen desire to do something with someone who isn’t your Adam or your Eve. It is the thought behind the action, the urge before the doing. It starts innocently enough, with just a second look—an itch that quietly asks to be scratched. What if? Wouldn’t that be nice? A kiss…maybe more. Just a little thing. What’s the harm in letting your mind wander a bit? And before you know it, the daydream goes from PG, to R, to NC-17.
Chaste in Hearts race, minds contemplate how to make the dreams come true, we get excited, maybe even communicate what we want to the other person. There are no accidents here as we run, scheme, and plan to make what we want a reality. Lust always ends in full blown sin. Always. You can’t have hot coals in your lap, says Solomon, and not get burned (Proverbs 6:27). That’s lust, not love. Love comes from the God who created Adam and Eve. It is patient and doesn’t go too far. It doesn’t treat others as if they are possessions or just things to be wanted, owned, or consumed. Love is seen in the suffering and death of Jesus. That’s how Christ loves His bride. She is born out of the water and blood flowing from His pierced side. She’s doesn’t exist to scratch His itches or just to give Him pleasure. No, He serves her. He cares for her. He loves her! He really does. He loves her not only with words but also by giving up His life for her. She receives from Him, lives from Him, breathes from Him. He gives to her, who she is. His Words wash her. His Words feed her. His Words change her world. She is who she is because He speaks her,
Christ
creates her into being. He is chaste. He refrains from immorality. He is decent. He makes His Bride chaste. He makes her decent. He is holy. She is holy in Him. For you were bought with the price of the holy life and bitter sufferings of Christ. He has redeemed you, bought you back, from all your sins, from all your lusts, from all your itches, to be his own. You are His. He is yours. You are chaste in Him. You are decent. You are pure. You are not lust-filled. You wait until marriage to do all the things that aren’t given you until marriage in Christ. You are holy in Him. One day, He may give you your Adam or Eve. It could be Katniss or Peeta or Gale. He will give you the particular gift that is just right, very good, and just for you. You can wait to do what isn’t given to you to do until then. And if you have failed already, He has given you forgiveness and a new start. Y You are right now, for Christ’s Cross has made you chaste and decent already in Him. Rev. George F. Borghardt is the president of Higher Things and serves as the senior pastor at Zion Ev. Lutheran Church in McHenry, Illinois.
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My Parents are Divorcing...
Now What?
By Rev. William M. Cwirla
You knew something was wrong.
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Mom had been crying a lot. Dad hadn’t been home much, and when he was home, he seemed angry or distant. You were afraid to make a sound, much less bring home a problem from school. Then came the dreaded “family meeting” and the news you didn’t want to hear: “Your Dad and I are getting a divorce.” Now what? Here are some things to keep in mind should the divorce demon invade your house.
BRING ON THE GRIEF GREMLINS – Divorce is a kind of death. Fasten your seatbelt. Welcome to the emotional roller coaster of death. Things are going to get bumpy. You can expect: Denial (“This can’t be happening to me.”) Anger (“I hate you guys for divorcing. You ruined my life.”) Bargaining (“I promise to get better grades if you guys stay together.”) Depression (“I hate my life.”) These are normal responses to loss. You’re grieving. Grieving is adjustment to change and loss. It’s okay. You’ll go through it many times in your life. If you find yourself getting stuck, especially in anger or depression, get some help. Talk to your pastor or a guidance counselor. They might suggest a professional who can help. Don’t be afraid or hesitant to ask for help. It’s never good to be alone in grief. The light at the end of the grief tunnel is Acceptance. Divorced parents are not the hand you wanted, but this is the one you’ve been dealt. You can’t change this, but you “can do all things through Him who gives you strength” (Philippians 4:12-13). Really, you can. THE BLAME GAME – Let’s be clear from the outset: This isn’t your fault. Divorce happens, even to “good Christian families.” The devil, the world, and our own sinful flesh are constantly chipping away at the foundations of marriage. There are probably things going on between Mom and Dad you know nothing about. But know this: Their divorce is not your fault. Sin has had its way with them and their love for each other, and you’re going along for the ride. It’s not your fault. YOU NEED A TEAM – Even if you’re a loner, this is not the time to go solo. You need a support team—some good friends, your pastor, the high school counselor, a trusted member in the congregation, an aunt or uncle, a neighbor, a professional counselor, any and all of them. You need someone to scream at, a shoulder to cry on, a person who will listen, advise, reassure, sympathize, and toss you a life preserver when you need one. If you’re old enough to be reading this article, you’re old enough to form a support team. Do it! THIS IS WAR – The devil is hard at work here. He’s less concerned with destroying marriage than he is with getting everyone isolated and away from Christ. Nothing serves his diabolical purposes better than a messy divorce. People stop forgiving, praying, and going to church. They are so distracted by temporal things they completely lose sight of things eternal, which is exactly what the old evil foe wants. You need the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-19). This is spiritual warfare, not against
flesh and blood, much less Mom or Dad, but against the forces of darkness and evil, against the Lie and the Father of Lies. Recognize that your old Adam is an opportunist. Mom and Dad are pitted against each other, and your old Adam will look for every opportunity to exploit the situation. Be on guard! Run, don’t walk, to Holy Communion. Don’t enter the battlefield starved! The Body and Blood of Christ are your strength. Use the gift of confession and absolution. There’s going to be plenty of sin, guilt, and shame to go around. Let Jesus take care of that. Take up the Word, which is the sword of the Spirit. And pray. Pray for Mom and Dad, for your brothers and sisters, and for protection and peace. NO WINNERS – Mom or Dad may try to enlist you against each other. Don’t go there. Unless one of them truly is hurting you in some way, and you have to get away for your own safety, you are going to need both Mom and Dad in your life, so don’t take sides. There are no winners in divorce, only survivors. THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH – Divorce is, in part, a legal matter that will involve family court, lawyers, judges, and social workers. You’ll be talking with total strangers about your private life. It can be embarrassing, unpleasant, and just plain weird. Speak the truth in love and don’t let others put words into your mouth. Be as open and honest as possible. This, too, shall pass. GOD FORGIVES AND MAKES GOOD IN CHRIST – I know this is hard to hear and even harder to believe, especially in the beginning. Divorce is not the will of Him who made them male and female in the beginning and declared them to be “one flesh.” This is not how it goes with Jesus and His Bride, the Church. He washes, woos, and forgives her. But Moms and Dads are simultaneously sinners and saints, just as all of us baptized believers are. Remember that you are baptized into God’s family. Your Father in heaven will never abandon or reject you as His child. Nothing, including divorce, can separate you from God’s love that is in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:2830). He endured the agony of rejection, separation, and loss. He made peace in His death and promises to make all things new in His resurrection. He’s in the middle of this mess—calling to repentance and faith, forgiving, blessing, reconciling, and making good. Trust Him. He’ll get you through this. Rev. William M. Cwirla is the pastor of Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in Hacienda Heights, California, and serves on the board of directors for Higher Things. He can be reached at wcwirla@gmail.com.
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