Sunday
Page 28
March 1-7 2004
go_out@badtv.com
THE TAF WHO WANTS TO BE A CLEVER DICK
Today in your Union
Quiz £3 per team (max 6) Up to £350 in drink vouchers to be won! Sunday Sessions: Jugs of Carling, Worthy and Strongbow £6.00
Killer Volcanoes five 8pm
Cruel Intentions Channel 4 10pm
On Show BBC1 11.05pm
Cats and Dogs five 6.25pm
06.00 Breakfast 08.20 Match of the Day 09.00 Breakfast with Frost 10.00 The Heaven and Earth Show 11.00 Countryfile 12.00 The Politics Show 12.50 Match of the Day Live: Millwall v Tranmere 14.55 Keeping Up Appearances 15.25 EastEnders 17.20 Lifeline Eamonn Holmes appeals on behalf of the Cystic Fibrosis Trust. Good-o. 17.30 BBC News; Weather 17.55 Songs of Praise Celtic Christianity. Erm, they were pagans, weren’t they? Oh, I don’t know. 18.30 Last of the Summer Wine To celebrate the birthday of his famous ancestor, Robin Hood, Billy proudly wears a green suit. Because of course, that’s what the old Hood would have done... 19.00 The Divine Michelangelo 20.00 Born and Bred Helen becomes a trainee nurse just as the hospital welcomes its most demanding patient. I’m sure these storylines relate better on screen than on the page... 21.00 In Denial of Murder But with that dead body lying face-down in your bed, it’s likely that no one will listen. 22.00 BBC News; Weather 22.15 Panorama: What's the Point of the BBC ? Well, I often wonder this, especially on Sundays when they become particularly lazy in showing anything worthwhile. 23.05 On Show 23.35 FILM: Arachnophobia Genuinely terrfying, if ridiculous. *** 01.20 The Sky at Night 01.45 FILM: The Reptile *** 03.15 BBC News 24
06.00 CBeebies: Fimbles 06.20 64 Zoo Lane 06.30 CBBC: Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show 06.55 Taz-Mania 07.15 Looney Tunes 07.30 Smile 10.30 FightBox 11.00 Sunday Home and Garden 12.40 Bible Mysteries 13.30 Bible Mysteries 14.20 Trade Secrets 14.30 Six Nations Grandstand: Wales v France 17.00 Scrum V 17.40 Bill Oddie's Best of British... 18.10 Natural World: Meerkats The ultimate team players, meerkats survive in harsh conditions by looking out for each other and constantly scanning the horizon for predators such as cobras, cheetahs and martial eagles. Not like the dog-eat-dog environment of GR then. Joke, obviously. 19.00 Crufts Two hours of dogs? Jesus,do they really think people will watch this? Apart from retarded people going ‘ahh’ at evil wasp-faced pugs, obviously. Gah, I hate anything ‘cute’. 21.00 SAS Desert: Are You Tough Enough? No. 22.00 Morvern Callar Drama about a supermarket worker who, when she finds her boyfriend's committed suicide, proceeds to live off his bank account, not telling even her best friend what has happened. Ooh, I really want to see this. “Excellent soundtrack” - TV Andy. 23.35 World Indoor Athletics 00.35 Rugby Special 01.20 Joins BBC News 24 02.00 BBC Learning Zone: WorkSkills: Travel and Tourism: The Complete Guide 03.00 Safety and Leadership 04.00 Customer Care and Business 05.00 Fasten Your Seatbelts
06.00 GMTV 09.25 Brilliant Creatures 09.40 How II 10.00 The Story Keepers 10.30 My Favourite Hymns 11.30 Waterfront 12.00 Soccer Sunday 12.30 Jonathan Dimbleby including Lunchtime News and Weather 13.25 ITV1 Wales News and Weather 13.30 F1: Australian Grand Prix 16.00 With a Little Help from My Friends 17.00 Harry Hill's TV Burp How come this is on now? I thought it was on really late so he could show ‘rude’ bits from Footballers’ Wives... 17.30 ITV1 Wales News and Weather 17.45 Grass Roots 18.15 How to Holiday Step one: decide where you want to go, step two: buy lots of condoms... Could ITV possibly be patronising us...? 18.40 ITV News; Weather 19.00 Emmerdale Scott has to face the music when Zoe discovers the identity of the haulage yard supervisor. Hmm, a nice bit of haulage intrigue on a Sunday night. 19.30 Coronation Street 20.00 Heartbeat Boring-ass nostalgia with shit music, acting and ratings. 21.00 William and Mary 22.00 Hardware Dire repeat of dire sitcom with Martin Freeman, who seemed to be having an attack of the sillies when he agreed to take part. 22.30 2DTV 23.00 ITV News 23.05 The South Bank Show 00.10 F1: Australian Grand Prix 01.10 World Rally Championship Magazine Show 01.35 Lads Army 02.30 Bridezillas 02.55 Today with Des and Mel 03.45 CD:UK
06.10 The Hoobs 06.35 The Hoobs 07.00 ICC Cricket World 07.30 Football: South American Championship 08.00 Skiing on 4: World Cup 09.00 The Simple Life 09.30 The Grill 10.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.30 Yr Wythnos 13.00 Joe Millionaire UK 13.45 Star Trek: Enterprise 14.30 Y Clwb Rygbi Rhyngwladol: Cymru v Ffrainc 17.00 Maniffesto 17.30 Newyddion 17.35 Pobol y Cwm 19.30 Y Sioe Gelf Arts review series. 20.00 Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol 20.30 Portreadau: Islwyn Ffowc Elis 21.00 Amdani Gwil decides he wants a huge wedding. Mainly so everyone can share in his mirth when his new bride calls him ‘Gwilly’. Little things, you know... 21.55 Newyddion 22.10 Regency House Party The fourth instalment of the series in which five men and five women follow early-19th century social protocols. The chaperones are urged to arrange more encounters. I hate to tell you, but I really like this. I wish I were there so I could mince about in a corset. 23.10 The Fit Farm 00.10 Bremner, Bird and Fortune 01.15 The Best for My Child 02.15 FILM: Living in Oblivion Multi-layered satire about a film-maker's efforts to direct a low-budget movie. Viewed from several characters' points of view, the story follows the director's attempts to ease the tensions between his female lead and the male prima donna' who has been hired for his name. Maybe good, as it stars Steve Buscemi ***
06.00 Russell Grant's Postcards 06.10 The Jesus Effect: Christianity's Cultural Impact 07.00 Jay Jay the Jet Plane 07.25 Milkshake! 07.30 Franny's Feet 07.45 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 08.35 Rolie Polie Olie 09.05 Babar 09.30 George Shrinks 10.00 Snobs 10.30 Michaela's Wild Challenge 11.05 The Ice Cream Machine 11.20 Aliens among Us 11.35 Braceface 12.05 Revelations 12.40 Divine Designs 13.10 five news update 13.15 The Chart 13.45 Robot Wars 14.50 FILM: Bhowani Junction ** 16.50 FILM: Columbo: How to Dial a Murder *** 18.15 five news and sport 18.25 FILM: Cats and Dogs I saw this when I went on ‘holiday’ to York with my friend. We went round the Yorvik centre, drank booze and sat in the rain on a park bench. And this film fitted in perfectly with the ambient mood. To be fair I did quite like it, but got pissed off because I hate filthy dogs. ** 20.00 Killer Volcanoes 21.00 FILM: Saving Private Ryan Haven’t seen it, but it has five stars and won an Oscar, which makes me think it’s evil. I avoid things like this at all costs, not in the least because my arse would be numb by the end of it. A bit like working at TV desk actually... ***** 00.20 Alias 01.15 NHL Ice Hockey: Colorado Avalanche v Calgary Flames 03.40 2004 Winter X Games 04.30 2004 FIM World Supercross Grand Prix
19.00 Would Like to Meet 20.00 Michael Jackson and the Boy He Paid Off Is that what they’re calling it now? Right then, I’m off to ‘pay’ someone off and out a large smile on their face (I’ll make sure I ply them with Jesus Juice first though). 21.00 Who Rules the Roost It’s most definitely TV Andy this week, who has sped through all his pages and left me and John eating his dust. The bastard, he’s going to get home in time for Six Feet Under and I’m not... 22.00 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 22.30 Vic and Bob in Catterick 23.00 Little Britain 23.30 Cyderdelic 00.00 Michael Jackson and the Boy He Paid Off 00.55 Who Rules the Roost 01.55 Hercules 02.25 SAS Survival Secrets 02.55 Westminster Wannabes BBC Three is such a shit channel. I hate it, and I hate doing Sundays because there’s nothing on. In other news, the office no longer smells of sick and last night I learnt a new word...
09.25 CD:UK 10.30 American Idol 3 11.20 American Idol 3 11.45 American Idol Special: Uncut, Uncensored and Untalented 12.35 Movies Now 12.45 Love on a Saturday Night 13.45 Emmerdale Omnibus 16.35 Coronation Street Omnibus 19.00 Jerry Springer 19.50 Starsailor... In the Studio 20.00 American Idol 3 20.50 American Idol 3 21.15 American Idol Special: Uncut, Uncensored and Untalented 22.05 Coronation Street As Maria's frustrations come to a head, Nick finds there's only room for one woman in his life. That’s not what he said to the ladies in Abygale’s. 22.35 Coronation Street Secrets 23.35 Celebrities Exposed 00.35 Harry Hill's TV Burp 01.05 Entertainment Today 01.55 Teleshopping 02.55 The Naked Truth 03.25 The Naked Truth 03.55 ITV2 Nightscreen 05.00 Trisha ...but I feel that ‘gooch’ will be redundant in most polite chat.
06.00 Hour of Power 07.00 Zoids 07.30 Batman 08.00 Stargate Infinity 08.30 Pokemon Advanced 09.00 YuGi-Oh! Enter the Shadow Realm 09.30 America's Dumbest Criminals 10.00 World Wrestling Entertainment Afterburn 11.00 World Wrestling Entertainment Heat 12.00 Malcolm in the Middle 12.30 Captain Scarlet 13.00 Gamezville 14.00 Star Trek: Voyager 15.00 Star Trek: Voyager 16.00 Star Trek: Voyager 17.00 Max Magic 18.00 The Simpsons When a con man sells Springfield a faulty monorail system only Marge is suspicious of the plan. Featuring the guest voice of Leonard Nimoy. 18.30 The Simpsons 19.00 Malcolm in the Middle 19.30 Scrubs 20.00 Dream Team 21.00 There's Something about Miriam 22.00 Mile High 23.00 There's Something about Miriam Extra 23.30 Porno Valley 00.00 Kirsty's Home Videos 01.00 Extreme Witness 01.50 World Wrestling Entertainment Afterburn
14.00 Your Face or Mine? 14.30 Britney Spears: Gettin' in the Zone Is this some evil euphemism/the reason she wears such low-cut trousers? 15.20 Justin Timberlake in Memphis 16.10 The Simple Life 16.35 The Simple Life TV John has asked who came first: Leonardo or Michelangelo. I can only think of turtles and am confused. Doesn’t take much though. 17.00 Friends 17.30 The Grill 18.00 A Wife for William 18.30 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 19.25 The OC What is this? I should have read the listing but forgot. Maybe it stands for ‘Orifice-Centred’, ‘Only Chesticles’ and various other things I saw in Loaded. 20.30 Friends 21.00 Friends 21.30 ER 22.30 The OC 23.30 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 00.30 The Secret Life of Us We steal our humour from Jim Davidson...01.30 Friends 02.05 ER 02.50 The Simple Life
As S4C, except: 06.00 Insektors 09.00 T4: Friends 09.30 T4: Popworld 10.30 T4: Hollyoaks Mandy struggles with the aftermath of the funeral, and she has to contend with Tony's attempts to win back her affections, much to Max's dismay. Oh God, are they still on this storyline? Mandy is a disease infested ho. Who whines a lot. That’s enough to have half the GR office’s tongues hanging out. 13.00 T4: The Simple Life 13.30 T4: The Grill 14.05 T4: Friends 14.40 T4: Will and Grace 15.10 T4: Stargate SG-1 16.05 T4: Star Trek: Enterprise 17.00 Time Team 18.00 Friends 18.30 The OC 19.30 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 20.00 Bremner, Bird and Fortune 21.00 The Fit Farm 22.00 FILM: Cruel Intentions ** 23.50 FILM: Plunkett and Macleane I saw this in Talybont in my first year. I think it was crap. I may have been drunk. ** 01.40 FILM: Room to Rent *** 03.15 The Story of the Novel 04.20 The Best for My Child 05.10 Countdown 05.55 Insektors
GAMES ROOM
Third Floor of the Students’ Union Open til 12am Mon-Sat, 10:30pm Sun Fully Licensed until 11pm. Sky Sports, Video Games Pool only 70p per game American Pool £1.70 per half hour and Snooker £1.40 per half hour.