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MANDY NOLAN’S

WILL COVID LOSE THE GOVERNMENT THEIR NEXT ERECTION ?

WHAT’S ON THE ALPINIST No partner; No ropes; No margin for error Marc-André Leclerc climbs alone Friday 24 September, 7pm INCEPTION A Three Lords Special Event Featuring live AV show by Dashboard Animals Saturday 25 September, 7.30pm

LOST TRACK ATLANTIC: EPISODE 4 AN ISHKA FOLKWELL FILM Surfing adventures with Torren Martyn Sunday 26 September, 6pm & 8pm

SEPT / OCT

There’s a lot of chatter about the negative impacts of COVID vaccinations. But what about some of the less savoury aspects of the virus itself? We don’t hear a LUCIAN FREUD: A SELF PORTRAIT lot about some of the long-term effects of the actual A modern British master revealed disease. But there will be. Viruses can be the gift that by Exhibition On Screen Wednesday 29 September, 3pm keeps on giving. Like how measles can later cause subacute sclerosing panencephalitis; a rare and fatal TOP DOG FILM FESTIVAL 2021 disease of the central nervous system. It’s one of those Inspirational and heart-warming stories diseases that just sounds fatal when you say it. Or if you about dogs and their human companions Saturday 2 October, 2pm say it with a French accent its almost sexy. We are hearing about long covid and the many complex Arrive early and enjoy a drink at the Theatre Bar health issues that people are facing, long after the virus has passed through their system. I knew about that, Byron Theatre & Community Centre but what I didn’t know about was that men who get 69 Jonson Street, Byron Bay byrontheatre.com byrontheatre covid are six times more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction. Well 5.666666 recurring to be more accurate, but who cares about accuracy, we are talking about penises here! That’s taking the No Jab No Play message to a whole other level. Session Times: Thu 16 Sep - Wed 22 Sep NFT = No Free Tickets Surely it’s not true? Surely it’s just another Big Pharma FAMILY FILMS JUNGLE CRUISE (M) STREAMLINE (MA15+) inspired cockspiracy? AINBO: AMAZON Daily: 11:00AM, 1:40PM Daily: 11:15AM PRINCESS (PG) NFT Sadly, no. It’s a hard topic to broach. Well, maybe not PIG (MA15+) NFT SUMMER OF Daily: 11:30AM, 4:15PM Daily: 1:45, that hard… SOUL (PG) PAW PATROL: 4:00, 6:15PM Daily: 11:30AM, 6:40PM Research was reported earlier this year in the World THE MOVIE (G) NFT REMINISCENCE (M) THE KILLING OF Daily: 11:20AM, Journal of Men’s Health. I’m surprised it wasn’t frontDaily: 2:00PM TWO LOVERS (M) NFT 1:30, 4:30PM page news. Now there’s some health messaging that RESPECT (M) Daily: 11:15AM, Daily: 11:00AM, might encourage even vax-denying men to get the jab. 4:15, 6:15PM ALL FILMS 1:15, 3:40, 6:30PM ANNETTE (MA15+) ‘Get the prick, for your prick!.’ There’s not much the THE NIGHT HOUSE (M) Daily: 1:15, SHANG-CHI AND THE average bloke won’t risk for a well-maintained erection. Daily: 1:50PM 4:00, 6:50PM LEGEND OF THE TEN The virus is found to affect the blood vessels that THE SUICIDE FREE GUY (M) RINGS (M) NFT SQUAD (MA15+) Daily: 11:15AM, Daily: 11:00AM, 1:30, supply the penis, causing the erectile dysfunction. Daily: 4:15, 7:00PM 1:45, 4:15, 6:45PM 4:15, 6:00, 7:00PM There just isn’t enough blood available to maintain an erect penis. So it’s the virus, not the vax that 108 Jonson St, Byron Bay can potentially cause male infertility and sexual Book online now at PalaceCinemas.com.au dysfunction. What a cockup. Mercato Complex 3hrs FREE parking validation available for all Palace Cinemas customers There goes the whole theory about the vax being Admission Prices: Tel: (02) 6686 9600 Adults: $14 made in a lab in China. ballinafaircinemas.com.au Wednesday Stud/Conc: $12 All tickets Because men control the We accept the Dine and Senior: $11 th nd Thursday Sept 16 to Wednesday Sept 22 $10 Child: $10 Discover $25 vouchers world and no man is going SEPTEMBER THU 16th FRI 17th SAT 18th SUN 19th MON 20th TUE 21ST WED 22ND to make a virus that could 12:40 PM 12:40 PM 12:40 PM 12:40 PM 12:40 PM 12:40 PM 12:40 PM potentially make his cock 5:15 PM 5:15 PM 5:15 PM 5:15 PM 5:15 PM 5:15 PM 5:15 PM FREE GUY M 115 MIN floppy. No one wants to be 7:25 PM 7:25 PM 7:25 PM 7:25 PM 7:25 PM 7:25 PM 7:25 PM 10:20 AM 10:20 AM 10:20 AM 10:20 AM 10:20 AM 10:20 AM 10:20 AM a flaccid dictator. I would JUNGLE CRUISE M 127 MIN 2:50 PM 2:50 PM 2:50 PM 2:50 PM 2:50 PM 2:50 PM 2:50 PM believe the whole virus PAW PATROL: 10:00 AM 10:00 AM 10:00 AM 10:00 AM 10:00 AM 10:00 AM 10:00 AM conspiracy if it actually 12:10 PM 12:10 PM 12:10 PM 12:10 PM 12:10 PM 12:10 PM 12:10 PM THE MOVIE G 86 MIN 1:50 PM 1:50 PM 1:50 PM 1:50 PM 1:50 PM 1:50 PM 1:50 PM RESPECT M 145 MIN had the reverse affect and 11:40 AM 11:40 AM 11:40 AM 11:40 AM 11:40 AM 11:40 AM 11:40 AM gave men improved penile SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND 2:10 PM 2:10 PM 2:10 PM 2:10 PM 2:10 PM 2:10 PM 2:10 PM function. ‘I caught covid 4:40 PM 4:40 PM 4:40 PM 4:40 PM 4:40 PM 4:40 PM OF THE TEN RINGS M 132 MIN 4:40 PM 7:10 PM 7:10 PM 7:10 PM 7:10 PM 7:10 PM 7:10 PM 7:10 PM and now I’m a better lover’ SPACE JAM: A NEW LEGACY 10:05 AM 10:05 AM 10:05 AM says Barry, 59. PG 116 MIN 10:10 AM 10:10 AM 10:10 AM 10:10 AM THE ICE ROAD M 109 MIN I love the image they use 4:25 PM 4:25 PM 4:25 PM 4:25 PM 4:25 PM 4:25 PM 4:25 PM THE SUICIDE SQUAD in health stories around 6:50 PM 6:50 PM 6:50 PM 6:50 PM 6:50 PM 6:50 PM 6:50 PM MA15+ 132 MIN erectile dysfunction.

BALLINA FAIR CINEMAS

24 The Byron Shire Echo ĕżƐĕŔćĕſ ǨǬǽ ǩǧǩǨ

Clearly in any medical story we aren’t going to see a floppy cock. They’re camera shy. Instead we see a bloke, usually in a white shirt, sitting on the side of the bed with his head in his hands. He could be weeping. Basically his cock is broken, so it’s a low moment. Some may say he’s gone ‘soft’. The woman (and it’s always a hetero situation depicted here) is lying in the bed looking disappointed. I think she’s happily sleeping. Or she’s on tinder looking for a double-vaxed hook up. Maybe they could start using these pics as health messaging. No point being a freedom fighter if your sword doesn’t work. Anyway, I found this ‘research’ and it made me chuckle. What if covid killed the penis? What if men died out and the matriarchy took over? What if covid was, in fact, the harbinger of the death of patriarchy? I guess we’ll all find out at the next erection. Sorry, election.

ʿ˔˦˧ ˬ˘˔˥ ˝˨˦˧ Ђ˘˪ ˕ˬʟ didn’t it? Even with lockdown slowing things down, COVID seems to be warping time in strange ways. However, here we are and it’s time once again – please! – to renew your subscription to BayFM. Your support really is like putting gas in our tank. It’s committed subscribers like you – along with our business sponsors – that keep the station ticking along. This year we’re not dangling prizes to encourage people to subscribe as we don’t think it’s fair to hit up local businesses who are going through tough times. We’d rather focus our energies on making the station as good as we can, so people want to subscribe for the right reasons.

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