SOCIAL DISTANCING IS BETTER THAN RUBBING WEENIES! By Charlie Williams
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ooking into my future. I can see about as far as the glasses on my nose. When the COVIDs closed the world down, all of our lives changed. Yet I watched the writers from Dealernews turn their vision forward and impart some splendidly good advice. Jared Burt’s article back in the March issue absolutely blew my mind. I had never even heard of the COVID and he was ready with a dealer survival guide! As a writer I’m stuck, dude, I can’t string two sentences together of any future value. I realize I’m a reporter struggling to keep pace after the fact, not a forward-thinking journalist like many on Dealernews dream team. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am again humbled to be in your circle, thank you for putting up with me. Now two months into quarantine, I can look back and tell you about what’s been happening, but for me to turn around and predict the future? I got nothing! Who would have predicted Murder Hornets? Just last night, rioters destroyed a square mile of downtown Indianapolis. Even at our worst motorcycle people never trashed the town
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during Dealer Expo… many brain cells may have been destroyed and there were certainly some illicit burn-outs, but the downtown Indy area was never burned or looted. Protesters did a shitty job of it too, I think. I saw where they had burned their neighborhood bar in Minneapolis, well duh. Here they broke the windows out of the Wheeler Mission, where the homeless people get fed and sheltered. They may have the will, but they don’t really have a strategy. You thought you had a toilet paper shortage before, burn your local Target and where ya gonna go? Even the street shitters of San Francisco want tissue paper, I would think... So like many of us stuck at home, we’ve all been digging through old stuff and posting pictures of our own histories. It’s been awesome learning interesting things about people I’ve known for years. I scanned and uploaded 3500 slides of 1980s bike racing — National Enduros and National Hare Scrambles mostly. I’d guess that’s about half my collection. That collection is another story I’ll share later, but in that endeavor, I came across a mamilla envelope full of illustrations I had done around the turn of the century. Some are funny, all are true, but one in particular struck me poignantly as TRUTH for motorcycle dealers and our industry Expo. See drawing, Title “Rubbing Weenies,” I drew this in 2002 after visiting the Indianapolis Dealer Show. I’m not worried about hurting anyone’s feelings in the picture, these gentlemen have all moved out of the motorcycle industry and now sell CBD oil and cell phones. In other words, the recession of 2008 purged much that is wrong with our industry. Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with our industry, but it ebbs and flows. When the tide is high, non-motorcyclists take jobs with their only talent being not making waves. Do what you’re told and don’t make waves. Yes Sir, I learned that at University. So the problem is the guy giving out jobs is covering his ass by only hiring SAFE employees from his point of view. “He was an ideal hire, he didn’t cause one wave.” Ass covered. But, at the same time, he didn’t MAKE any waves, he didn’t lead the pack with soul and drive, he didn’t inspire his sport. Because it’s not his sport, it’s his job and he was not making waves. “Good Hire!” Well, they are back! I’ll share my experience. Last October at AIMExpo I had on my credentials that said PRESS and were a different color, no mistaking. I was in a riding gear booth and they had a cool riding vest on display. The label said medium, but I tried it on, knowing it wouldn’t fit (I’m a 2XL) but hoping one of the representatives would come help me.