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PROFILES
how I found my voice THROUGH MARKETING WOR DS : SU E SK AVL E M , SK AVL E M D E S I GN S
Women have their own language. I know, because after growing up in a family of all boys, I still struggle to speak it. How does women’s language look to someone on the outside? We talk in the passive voice. We hedge. We gossip. And we talk differently to our best friends than to someone we don’t know. And yes, this is generalizing big-time. But sometimes it’s good to look at the big picture from the outside to see what may be keeping us from finding our true voice. Honestly, I found my voice through marketing. Though we are stereotyped as either shy or talkers, many women struggle to speak in a non-passive voice. That is, we often hear or say, “X helped me Y.” We’re the passive participants in this kind of language. X is happening to or on us.
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:: areawomanmagazine.com
Marketing taught me to speak with agency. To say, “How I ‘Y’ through ‘X.’” How I made friends with my inner critic How I chose the road less traveled How I filled up three passports before marrying How I found my voice through marketing When we switch from passive to active voice, things stop happening to or on us. It’s like we give ourselves permission to explore. Suddenly, we become the participant, the catalyst, the agent of change.
Marketing taught me to say what I mean. You may have heard of hedging your bets. In communication, hedging means putting disclaimers around what we’re saying to make it less assertive: “Some people think … [statement that I want to make] … you know?” “[Thing that I think] … isn’t it?” “I may be wrong, but … [thing I want to say in a meeting].”
Do you see how by hedging words and questions, we remove ourselves a bit from the statements we want to make, or the ideas we want to share? This softens the rejection if people don’t like our ideas, or don’t agree with them, but it does one more thing: it quiets our voice. When you’re selling or marketing, every word counts. You have the permission to say what you mean. To cross off the “I may be wrong, but” before your statement. To transform the desire to have someone agree with you (“right?”) into the need for genuine customer feedback, engagement and conversions. Good news, everyone! We can change our hedging habits.
Marketing taught me good gossip. The language of women includes social censure through gossip. “She should have known better.” “Did you hear?” “Well, I can’t believe that she … ”