SETTLEMENT PARENTING
Funny or not funny?
S
haring a laugh is a great stress reliever and a wonderful way to connect with others. But one thing to understand is that humour is culture and language specific. In a multicultural, multigenerational environment, jokes can be interpreted in specific ways due to differences in language, culture, generations and personality. Different cultures interpret specific types of humor differently A joke might seem funny to you, but it can be offensive depending on how the recipient understands the joke. Moreover, some people might not share your sense of humour and be confused by the jokes, or even hurt by them. Therefore, it is important to be mindful of how to use humour appropriately and teach your children to consider the following factors.
• Is it developmentally appropriate?
Children often take things literally and might not understand when
The dos and don’ts of using humour people are joking. As a result, children’s feelings and self esteem can be hurt by some jokes.
• Are these jokes tasteless and
offensive and/or prejudiced against certain vulnerable groups? It is best to avoid jokes targeting race, gender, age, disabilities and many more.
• What is the reason for using
jokes? Humour can help diffuse tense situations during tough conversations.
• Are the jokes making fun of
others’ misfortunes or mistakes? Instead of laughing at them, show kindness by offering a helping hand and kind words.
• Is anyone being hurt by the
jokes or teasing? Some are fine with playful teasing, but meanspirited teasing can be hurtful and damaging.
• Is the context and timing of using humour appropriate? There are times when it is appropriate to joke around, and others when it is time to be serious.
could help remedy the situation.
• When you hear inappropriate
• Are you reading the reactions
jokes from others, do you stay silent or speak up? Sometimes the person telling the jokes might not be aware that the jokes was hurtful. Speak up if you witness or are victim of inappropriate joking and teasing.
of your audience, their body language and facial expressions? Awkward silences, uneasiness, tension and forced laughter Parents can set good examples might indicate that they might be by teaching children that while offended by the jokes. humour can beneficial, it can also • How do you react when be hurtful or cause embarrassment someone is hurt by the jokes you if used inappropriately. Teach told? Dismissing someone with children what is acceptable and phrases such as “Just joking” unacceptable when joking with or “Don’t be so sensitive” only others. A good sense of humour, worsens the situation. Instead, combined with quick wit, kindness listening to those who are hurt and respect, can make the world a by the joke and a sincere apology better place. Cheryl Song, an immigrant from Malaysia, has more than 20 years’ experience of working in early learning and family programs. Contact her at cheryl@learnwithsong.com or visit her website at learnwithsong.com.
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