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livea humble

by Lester Eugene Mayers i am sho my armz will fall wit fat & my chin will double wit a smile & my hair will turn gold befoe it turns grey lyke da women in my village

i can guarantee i will quit try again & blame everyone else & wen no-one iz lookin ill accept responsibility & want nuffin mo dan ta be a prevision of substance lyke da men in my village

i know my chest will stay perched out & i will fall wen tryin ta move & in movin & fallin i will laugh tryin not ta cry imaginin da imagine of wha could be wen i grow in ta wha will be next lyfe time lyke da chilren in my village i will make da mistake of trustin someone datll burn me so badly despisin dem till next lyfe a monsta strong enuf ta shape shift inta a lova bright enuf ta blind my instincts slick enuf ta cut me while i sleep & sweet enuf ta make me say “i love you” first lyke everyone in my village

block how great i wuz & how if i wuz still alive certain folks would not be doin da thangs dey doin & damn sho wouldnt be gettin away wit certain thangs wen i die i hope you learn dat although i am wif god i never wuz god wen i die do not feel da need ta argue & dont be ashamed ta agree wit da Black man dat swore i wuz ruinin da Black family wit my unusual demands of account ability pleaze let dat young Dark Black Gay Man dat you call Crusty & Faggy who calls me hiz Muva go round preservin every piece ive ever written & internalizin it severely wen im dead dont ax Da Poetry Foundation Button Poetry Or Da Library of Congress why it took till i wuz gone ta arrive in deir archives which seems ta be da norm wit dead mutha fuckas lyke me

but wen i die

wen i die please dont read any of my poemz dont quote me in memory & dont botha tellin da folks down da

da biggest fight ova my lyfe will take place wen i die not ova who i wuz but da thangs i used ta own & da money will be da greatest gift known ta dem & fo dat ill be happy wit death cuz i know wha its lyke not ta have so ta give wen im gone will bind me ta dem til i run out

Lester Eugene Mayers is the author of 100 Poems for 100 Voices and is currently a MFA candidate at the Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics. “livea humble” is from his forthcoming work of poetry African Boot Scratcha lovin da ashy-blaq fat chall wif yella teef, which will be available on Amazon starting Nov. 29. 38

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NOVEMBER 14, 2019

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