Practical advice and support following a bereavement
Wisdom Hospice
NHS Wisdom Hospice This booklet has been put together to try and help support you through the practical and emotional experience of bereavement. It aims to guide you through the necessary aspects and arrangements which need to be made or considered either at once or over the following weeks. As these decisions have to be made at a time of personal distress, it may be helpful to allow a friend or relative to support you.
Medway Community Healthcare (MCH) provides a wide range of high quality community health services for Medway residents including the specialist palliative care service based at the Wisdom Hospice. This offers a multi-disciplinary team funded primarily by the NHS, with support from Wisdom Hospice Charity. As a social enterprise MCH have the commercial freedom to broaden their vision, investing in products and services which generate income. They use 100% of this income to improve the quality of the NHS services they provide.
NHS Contents What happens after someone dies?.......................................................................... 1 When someone dies in the Wisdom Hospice.......................................... 1 Medical Examiner.............................................................................................................................. 2 The Coroner............................................................................................................................................... 3 Medication..................................................................................................................................................... 3 Cremation...................................................................................................................................................... 3 Registering a death................................................................................................................................. 4 What you need to take with you to the Registrar’s Office...... 4 What else will the Registrar ask you?................................................................. 4 Information on the deceased............................................................................................ 5 What the Registrar will give you................................................................................... 5 Registrar’s Office location map...................................................................................... 6 Planning the funeral.............................................................................................................................. 8 Funeral planning and legal requirements....................................................... 8 Types of funeral.................................................................................................................................... 8 Other things to consider........................................................................................................... 9 Independent and “family organised” funerals........................................... 9 Funeral directors................................................................................................................................. 9 Complaints................................................................................................................................................... 10 Differences between religions and denominations.......................... 11 Finances after someone dies................................................................................................. 14 Paying for the funeral................................................................................................................... 14 Change in circumstances and benefits............................................................. 15 If you are under pension age............................................................................................ 15 If you are over pension age................................................................................................ 16
NHS Solicitors, Wills and legal matters................................................................................. 16 Probate (administration of an estate)................................................................... 16 When a Will is in place............................................................................................................... 16 When there is no Will in place......................................................................................... 17 Stopping Junk Mail to the recently deceased........................................... 17 Wisdom Hospice charity................................................................................................................ 18 Task checklist................................................................................................................................................... 20 Coping with grief......................................................................................................................................... 21 Children’s support.................................................................................................................................... 24 Advice and support organisations............................................................................... 28 Sharing your information.............................................................................................................. 30 Customer care................................................................................................................................................. 30
NHS What happens after someone dies? When someone dies in the Wisdom Hospice People react in different ways following a death, some want to spend time with the deceased while others would rather not. It is important that you do what feels right for you. The nursing team will support you with your wishes. A member of the Bereavement Team from the Hospice will contact you to confirm that the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death has been completed by our Medical Team and sent to the Medical Examiner’s Office (see below) and to explain some of the next steps and processes. They will also be able to explain to you the support that is available through our Family and Carers Support Team and Bereavement Service going forward. If you would like to meet with one of the Team to ask any questions or talk about support for you, this can also be arranged. If you would like to speak with a doctor or member of our Medical Team, let us know and we will arrange this for you, if possible. If it was not possible for you to collect or take home with you the belongings and valuables for your loved one, a member of the Hospice Inpatient Unit will contact you after one week to arrange collection of items. If you wish to discuss this prior to us contacting you, please call 01634 830456 and ask to speak with a member of the Inpatient Team. If you have or are aware of any equipment at your loved one’s home, please contact the number for Medequip shown on the sticker, which should be attached to the equipment, to arrange for collection.
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NHS Your loved one will remain with us in our mortuary here at the Hospice. However, on rare occasions it may be necessary, due to limited space in our mortuary, to move your loved one to our offsite facility. However, we would want to reassure you that this will not compromise the dignity, care and respect afforded to your loved one. The Medical Examiner A medical examiner is an independent senior doctor who reviews deaths not investigated by a coroner to ensure accurate certification, identify concerns, and support bereaved families. Medical Examiners (MEs) provide independent scrutiny of deaths to ensure the cause of death is accurate and properly recorded on the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) and to ensure appropriate referral to a coroner. They are not part of the clinical team that treated your loved one/family member, which allows them to offer an unbiased perspective. Their work supports patient safety, transparency, and public trust in the death certification process. MEs, often supported by medical examiner officers (MEOs), review clinical records and may discuss the circumstances of death with the attending doctor. They also provide families with an opportunity to: •
Understand the proposed cause of death
•
Raise concerns and questions about the care and circumstances surrounding the death. This process is conducted with confidentiality, sensitivity, and empathy, ensuring bereaved families are heard and supported.
This means you may receive a call from the MEOs to discuss the MCCD in the first few days of your loss. 2
NHS Once the ME Office has completed their work, they will forward the MCCD on to the Register Office. Upon receipt the Register Office will contact the named next of kin to arrange an appointment. The Coroner In certain cases, such as a death following an occupational related disease like Mesothelioma, the Coroner must be informed, and it is likely that the certificate will be issued from the Coroner’s office. In some cases a post mortem will be needed followed by an inquest. You will be advised if this is the case. Medication It is the responsibility of the carer or family to return all medication to the local pharmacy for disposal. This should be done at your earliest convenience. Cremation If you request a cremation, the paperwork will be commenced at the Wisdom Hospice but will need to be completed at the funeral home. We recommend you discuss a reasonable timescale for your arrangements with the funeral director.
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NHS Registering a death It is a legal requirement that the death must be registered within five working days from when the Register Office receives notification from the Medical Examiner’s Office. This should be carried out by either: • • • •
A relative or partner Someone present at the time of death Someone who will be arranging the funeral (should the person who has died be an overseas citizen, their embassy must be notified as soon as possible). Personal representative of the deceased. This is someone nominated by surviving family to come and register on their behalf (for example, the only relatives live abroad, the only relatives are unable to come to a register office themselves). This could be a solicitor or just a family friend.
What you need to take with you to the Register Office You don’t need to bring anything, but it can be useful for the Registrar if you bring: • • • • •
A birth certificate or passport (in date or out of date) of the deceased. A marriage certificate or civil partnership certificate if applicable. A death certificate of spouse or civil partner. The NHS card or NHS number for the deceased. A form of ID for yourself as the informant.
What else will the Registrar ask you? Please note that the death cannot be registered without either the medical certificate with cause of death or documents from the Coroner. 4
NHS Although it can be helpful to take copies of the deceased’s birth and marriage certificates, these are not essential for the death registration, as long as the information they contain can be provided at the meeting. Information on the deceased person • • • • • •
The date and place of death Their full name and any other names used, including a maiden name where relevant The date and place of birth The deceased’s last occupation The deceased’s last address The name, date of birth and occupation of their last spouse
At the appointment the Registrar will issue: •
• •
A green form (Form 9) which permits the undertaker to move the deceased from the hospice. This can be emailed from the register office directly to the undertaker by the end of business on the day of the registration if it is more convenient for you A unique code and instructions for how to access the Tell Us Once Service. This is a service that lets you report a death to most government organisations in one go The death certificate if purchased)
It is advisable to purchase additional copies of the death certificate as they will be needed by the deceased’s bank, building society, insurers etc. We normally recommend around three certificates, depending on the number of institutions to be informed as photocopies cannot be used. Each certificate is a certified copy of the entry in the death register and costs £12.50 (price correct at time of publication).
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The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death is sent by email to the Medical Examiner who will forward it on to the Register Office when they have completed their work. Upon receipt, the Register Office will contact the named next of kin to arrange an appointment. 6
NHS Medway Register Office: The Medway Register Office is in Northgate, Rochester, ME1 1LS. The direct telephone number to make an appointment to register a death is 01634 338899. Swale Register Office: The telephone number is 03000 415151, Kent County Council (KCC). Appointments can be booked online at www.kent.gov.uk
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NHS Planning the funeral Funeral planning and legal requirements You can begin to make funeral arrangements as soon as you feel able. The plans can be confirmed almost immediately, unless a Coroner’s inquest is required following a death. However, before making plans, it is important to check whether any specific instructions were left, or if any funeral arrangements were made and paid for in advance. The main requirements in England and Wales are that the death must be certified by a doctor or Coroner, registered with a Registrar of births, marriages and deaths, and the body either buried or cremated. You do not need to have a ceremony, religious minister, or funeral director unless you wish to; and if you want a ceremony, this does not have to take place in a crematorium or church. Types of funeral There are more options concerning the content and duration of a funeral than many people realise. Generally funerals contain both a “service element” and a “physical aspect”. Many services have a religious element, but Humanist or civil services are available to those who would like a meaningful funeral service without reference to a God or religion. There are four main types of funeral: • • • •
At a crematorium only At a church or other place or worship, and followed by a burial or cremation At the graveside Cremation without attendance of family
Increasingly, alternative funerals are becoming available, with people selecting options such as woodland burials and eco-friendly coffins, personalised shrouds or other coffin covers. 8
NHS Other things to consider As with all major events there are many aspects you may wish to consider, such as whether the body will be available for viewing, how your loved one should be dressed, whether to make announcements in a newspaper, and so on. In reality there is no such thing as a “standard” funeral. Many people want the funeral to reflect an individual’s character, their way of life, values and beliefs. However, do not feel that you have to accept all options presented to you, particularly if you are not able to spend a lot of money. Independent and “family organised” funerals Many people choose to make their arrangements through a funeral director. However, some people consider an independent or “family organised” funeral to be more personal, informal and less expensive. If you would prefer this and you have the time to research and prepare, you can enquire at the Cemeteries and Crematorium department of your Local Authority for guidance. You can also get information from the Natural Death Centre or other agencies listed in this booklet. Funeral directors Funeral directors can manage all or part of the funeral arrangements. They can give advice on available options and provide support to help you make decisions. There are many differences in the types and quality of services that funeral directors provide.
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NHS Complaints To help you select a funeral director, please note that a licence to practice from the British Institute of Funeral Directors, or membership of a trade association, indicates that the individual or company should operate under a Good Code of Practice. If you are not satisfied, either with the costs you are being asked to pay or with the service provided, try to resolve it with the funeral director or service provider in question. If you cannot resolve the issue, contact any relevant trade association or get advice on how to proceed from your local Citizens Advice Bureau.
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NHS Differences between religions and denominations Whilst the basics of organising a funeral will be largely the same regardless of religion or denomination, there are some things which may vary depending on the religion/denomination of the deceased. Detailed below is a brief outline of the funerals of various religions and Christian denominations. Anglican funerals: Anglican funerals usually take place in a local church, or the chapel of a cemetery or crematorium. Parish boundaries usually apply. Family and friends join together to mourn and commend the deceased into God’s safe keeping. Roman Catholic funerals: Roman Catholic funerals can be burials or cremations and are more than likely to take place in a church. A priest or deacon will receive the body into the church and say prayers over the coffin. It is common for family members to bear the coffin into the church. Usually the funeral will involve a Requiem Mass. Other Christian denominations: The funerals offered by other Christian denominations are usually broadly similar to Anglican funerals. Most funeral directors will advise regarding funerals of different denominations. Jewish funerals: In a Jewish funeral cremation is not permitted. Removal of organs, fluid and tissues is also prohibited, although there can be allowances for autopsies, if these are required by law or for organ donation. The burial must take place as soon as possible. Open casket services are forbidden by Jewish law as these are seen as extremely disrespectful. Flowers are not usually sent or used during Jewish funerals as they are associated with joyous celebrations and similarly music is not played.
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NHS Sikh funerals: In Sikh funerals cremation is the usual method used. In many parts of the world a Sikh funeral involves an open-air funeral pyre, though not all countries permit this. Until the point of cremation the deceased must be kept in possession of the five articles worn by a Sikh in life (the ‘5 Ks’). Sikhism recommends that once the ashes are released to the family they be buried in the earth or scattered over/immersed into flowing water such as a river. In Sikhism, the funeral service can take place at any time, day or night. The Sikh view is that the purpose of a funeral is to induce detachment. Hindu funerals: Cremations are the most common method for Hindu funerals as they believe this helps the soul exit the body more quickly. There are various rituals which usually take place around the body such as the placing of a lamp near the head, Pindas (Rice Balls) are placed in the coffin, a Mala (necklace of wooden beads) may be placed around the neck and the deceased is sprinkled with water. The deceased’s family may remain in mourning for twelve days. Muslim funerals: In Muslim funerals the desired method is burial, as observant Muslims disapprove of cremation. Usually on the day of the funeral the body is taken to the mosque and prayers are said before the body is taken to the cemetery for burial. Whilst mourners stand at the graveside prayers are said, another prayer is said after the body is lowered into the grave. The grave is ‘filled in’ by the Islamic community. The graves themselves tend to be above ground level so that the grave is clearly marked. The use of large decorations or tombstones is not frequent though it is not forbidden.
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NHS Buddhist funerals: Many Buddhists in the UK come from families with links to one of the traditional Buddhist countries (e.g. Thailand, Sri Lanka, Japan, China etc.). There will also be many people with no family background in Buddhism who have adopted Buddhism. Therefore the practices and beliefs will vary between traditions or “schools”. Generally, death and dying ideally should take place in an atmosphere of peace, calm and sensitivity. There are no special procedures to be undertaken by hospice/hospital staff. In some traditions it is thought to be highly beneficial for the dying person to be supported by a teacher or member of the Buddhist community during and immediately after the dying process. As part of this there may be requests for the body to remain undisturbed for a period, before being moved – a minimum of four hours is sometimes quoted. Other religions: It is beyond the scope of this document to attempt to deal with every religion.
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NHS Finances after someone has died Paying for the funeral Funeral costs are normally recoverable from the deceased’s estate, but the person organising the funeral will be responsible for paying the bill. It is advisable to check where the money will come from before you make arrangements. Many people now purchase their funeral in advance through a pre-purchase funeral plan. You may need to check if this has been arranged. Many funeral directors require payment before probate is granted, so ensure you discuss payment from an early stage. Where probate is being requested, many banks and building societies will release money to pay for the funeral before probate is granted but not all. Where payment for the funeral is an issue, you may be entitled to help with the funeral costs through the Social Fund. There is now a One-Stop contact number at the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) (0800 731 0469) which will cancel all DWP benefits, as well as help you establish if you are eligible for help towards costs (a funeral grant) and advise on your eligibility for other benefits. There is a time limit for claiming bereavement benefits and a funeral grant so it is important to contact them as soon as possible. Funeral grants have a maximum threshold and not everyone is given the full amount. It is essential to consider this when organising the funeral to prevent running up large costs. In some cases, where no one is able to pay for the funeral, the local authority may help – but it is important that you contact them before the funeral has been arranged. Your funeral director or the Welfare Advisor at the Wisdom Hospice should be able to advise you. 14
NHS Change in circumstances and benefits If you were receiving Carers Allowance prior to the bereavement this will continue for eight weeks after the death of the person you were caring for. Check that Council Tax Reduction and Housing Benefit are in your name; if not these may need to be reapplied for. www.gov.uk has excellent advice on all benefits, or you can use the contacts suggested below. If you are under pension age If you are a parent or carer, or any of the following benefits are in the deceased’s name these will have to be changed or reapplied for: Child Benefit: 0300 200 3100 Universal Credit: 0800 328 5644 North & West Kent Citizens Advice Bureau: 0808 278 7810 Medway Citizens Advice Bureau: 01634 383 760 Sittingbourne Citizens Advice Bureau: 0808 278 7979 Department for Work and Pensions (DWP): 0800 731 0469 Contact Job Centre Plus, the DWP numbers above or your local Citizens Advice Bureau for advice and support in finding out what is available and how to apply. Alternatively, check out the www.turn2us.org.uk website for information. If you are eligible for certain benefits you may be able to get support with your mortgage. This will be for the interest only and there is a limit to what they will pay. Job Centre Plus can advise you on this. For example, if your spouse/partner or you were on a state benefit prior to the bereavement, you may need this reviewed, or if you are now on a low income. If you have children and are working, available benefits will depend on your income and the age of the children. If you are unable to work or unemployed you may be eligible for benefits or increased benefits. 15
NHS If you are over pension age If your spouse or civil partner dies then you may need a benefits review, particularly if you are now living alone. There is a minimum allowance for single people, which may be increased depending on which benefits you are eligible for. A review is recommended at this stage as not all benefits are means tested. Department for Work and Pensions (DWP): 0800 731 0469 Contact your local Citizens Advice Bureau, for advice or look up the fact sheets on www.ageuk.org.uk
Solicitors, Wills and legal matters Probate (administration of an estate) This is the legal process for the distribution of the deceased’s estate (money, property etc). You need to establish if the deceased had made a Will. This may be found at their bank, solicitor, home, with family or a friend, or if registered, Principal Probate Registry. The Maidstone office covers the whole of Kent 01622 202048. When a Will is in place The Will may include funeral plans, wishes regarding the deceased’s estate and the name of the executor/s or the person/s legally entitled to deal with the estate. The executor/s is/are legally responsible for administering the estate to the wishes in the Will. If the Will is with a solicitor they should be informed; and they may be the named executor. Named executor’s can administer the person’s estate on their own (information on how to do this can be found online at www.gov.uk) or they may prefer to get the help of a solicitor to carry this out.
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NHS When there is no Will in place When someone dies without making a Will, they are said to have died “intestate”, and different rules apply. When this happens the law sets out who should deal with the person’s affairs and who benefits. This can be a complex situation and there is a list of people who may be entitled to the estate in turn. Further information can be found online at www.gov.uk or you can involve a solicitor to help you through the process. Another source of information on Wills can be found at www.ageuk.org.uk
Stopping Junk Mail to the recently deceased If someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced which helps to stop painful daily reminders. By registering with the free service www.stopmail.co.uk the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks. If you cannot access the internet you can call 0333 006 8114, where you will be asked for very simple information that will take only a few minutes to complete. Alternatively, ask the bereavement team for a leaflet that can be returned in the post. This free of charge service provided by the Bereavement Support Network will actively reduce the unwanted marketing mail but also can help reduce the likelihood of identity theft following the death of someone close. The information is not used for any other purpose and you only have to complete this once. Additionally to Stop Mail a comparable service can also be accessed from the Bereavement Register or Deceased Preference Service if you would prefer to use them. 17
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The Wisdom Hospice Charity Supporting compassionate hospice care across Medway and Swale Wisdom Hospice Charity supports the work of the hospice, helping local people living with life-limiting illnesses receive compassionate care and support. The charity provides vital funding, an annual grant, and additional support to ensure patients receive the very best care in comfort and dignity. Although The Wisdom Hospice receives some NHS funding, we still need to raise more than £2,500 every day to help meet running costs and provide those extra comforts that make a real difference. Thanks to the generosity of our community, we continue to be inspired by those who fundraise, donate and support us in so many ways. Every donation, volunteer hour and act of support helps local families facing the most difficult times of their lives.
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NHS Remembering Someone Special Supporting The Wisdom Hospice in memory of a loved one can be a meaningful way to celebrate their life while helping others. Many families choose to create a tribute page where memories, messages and donations can be shared together. To find out more about donating in memory or creating a tribute page, please visit: www.wisdomhospicecharity.org.uk/donating-in-memory Volunteer With Us We rely on volunteers who give their time to support our work across fundraising, retail and community activities. Our volunteers are the heart of the charity, helping us make a difference every day. www.wisdomhospicecharity.org.uk/volunteer Find Out More For more information, to donate, volunteer or support our work, please visit: www.wisdomhospicecharity.org.uk Telephone: 01634 831163 Email: info@wisdomhospicecharity.org.uk
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NHS Task checklist People you need to consider informing
If in the person’s name
Child/Young Person’s Teacher Bank/Building Society Credit Cards Social Services (cancer care) Social Security/DWP (confirm they are aware) Employer Solicitor (if involved) Residential/Nursing Home Mortgage Lender Relatives/Friends Dentist
Cancel appointments Telephone/Water/Electricity Car Insurance Newsagent/Milkman Clubs Landlord/Housing Television Licence Rental companies Loan company HMRC HM Revenue & Customs (if self-employed)
Useful Numbers DWP – Bereavement Service
0800 151 2012
Child Benefit
0300 200 3100
Universal Credit
0800 328 5644
Stopping Junk Mail
0333 006 8114
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NHS Coping with grief Grief is a normal reaction to any major loss in our lives. When someone dies there will be many practical things that need to be attended to. This may mean that you start to grieve once these things are completed and the people around you begin to return to their everyday lives. It can be hard to accept the death of a loved one. We all grieve in our own way, and it may take many forms. How you are feeling will depend upon your relationship with the person who has died and what they meant to you. This death may trigger memories and feelings of previous losses. The following feelings are common in grief, although some people may feel nothing at all; this is also a sign of grief. Anxiety – you may feel restless, panicky and develop physical signs such as headaches, stomach upset or a dry mouth. Anger – this may be directed against yourself, other people, or the person who has died. You may feel anger or regret for things that could have been done differently. Guilt – you may feel you or other people did not do enough for the person who has died. The question “if only” may occupy your thinking. You may feel initial relief that the person who has died is not suffering. Helpless and afraid – you may be fearful of how you are going to manage without the person who has died and what the future holds. Unwell – grief is exhausting and stressful and this may weaken your body’s defences and could make you feel unwell. Grief may catch you by surprise and you might suddenly be overwhelmed by emotions. Low mood – you may have decreased appetite, tiredness without being able to sleep, and an inability to concentrate. Small tasks or problems may seem insurmountable and cause you to feel panicky. 21
NHS You may think that you hear or see the person, even though you know that they have died. You may feel numb and unable to cry, or experience a sense of relief. These are all normal reactions in bereavement. If you have been caring for the person who has died, you may also feel the loss of your caring role. You may feel bereft and alone because the relationships that you have built up with different health care professionals have ended. You may have lost contact with friends while caring for the person who has died and meeting new people or re-establishing old friendships can seem daunting and tiring. Things that may help • • • • • • • •
Remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve – everyone is different Try not to feel pressurised by the expectations of others Do what feels right and comfortable for you Allow yourself to laugh, cry or feel angry – someone you love has died and that is painful Take care of yourself and pay attention to your health Talking about the person who has died and about your experiences can help you to begin to make sense of what is happening for you If you feel able, let family and friends know how best they can help you Do not be afraid to seek professional help
If after several weeks you find that you are not coping with your emotions or your grief is overwhelming, it would be appropriate to seek help either from your GP or from the Wisdom Hospice Bereavement Service (further information on this service is on page 23).
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NHS Services for bereaved adults and children provided by the Wisdom Hospice It is sometimes helpful to talk to someone about your loss, the feelings being experienced and the changes that bereavement brings. Bereavement counsellors are available to meet with you at the Wisdom Hospice by appointment. Please contact the Bereavement Services Co-ordinator (01634 830456) and an assessment meeting will be arranged. For family members living out of area, the Wisdom Hospice can make contact with a palliative care service in the locality in which you are living to enable bereavement support. Alternatively, family members living out of area can be seen at The Wisdom Hospice if they are able to attend in person. Please contact the Bereavement Services Coordinator (as above) for further information.
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NHS Support for children and young people Grief is normal and necessary. Grief is not an illness or something to “get over”. Every child’s bereavement journey will be unique and most children will need support not therapy to understand death and the range of feelings and emotions that come as part of bereavement. Supporting children at this time can often feel daunting, particularly if you are experiencing your own grief. However, there are some useful ways of supporting a grieving child or young person. • • • • • • • •
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It is important for children and young people to be able to continue with routine activities in order to help them to feel secure. Children and young people may see-saw in and out of grief, needing time to play and have fun as well as time to be sad. Children should be told the facts in a simple way, using appropriate words,e.g. dead rather than lost or asleep. Give your child as much information as he/she asks for. Answer your child’s questions about death as honestly as you can. Encourage your child to talk about how he/she feels. Children often need help retaining their memories – share memories and stories with them. It is helpful for adults to share their feelings, such as sadness, with children. By doing so, children learn that it is natural to feel sad when someone dies. Young children often like to draw pictures, write stories or play as part of their way of saying goodbye. The child or young person should be given the opportunity to be involved in the funeral, if they so wish. 24
NHS Children’s understanding of illness and death will vary according to their age, experience and development. With support and information, children and young people can be helped to understand what has happened and can slowly learn to live with their loss.
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NHS Children’s support Local Services for Children Holding On Letting Go Holding On Letting Go is a bereavement support programme for young people (aged 6-17 years) and their families in Kent and Medway. Grieving families are supported through non-residential weekend support programmes; one to one work with children, support and advice for parents and carers, advice and training to professionals working with children and young people and telephone and e-mail support. Telephone: 03445 611 511 Email: info@holg.org.uk www.holg.org.uk National Organisations in Relation to Children Child Bereavement UK Helpline: 0800 028 8840 www.childbereavementuk.org OR Childhood Bereavement Network For children and young people’s bereavement support services in your area. Telephone: 020 7843 6309 www.childhoodbereavementnetwork.org.uk The Child Death Helpline For anyone affected by the death of a child. Telephone: 0800 282986 www.childdeathhelpline.org.uk
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NHS The Compassionate Friends Bereaved parents offering friendship and understanding to other bereaved parents. Telephone: 0345 123 2304 www.tcf.org.uk Grief Encounter Project For bereaved children and their families. Telephone: 0808 802 0111 www.griefencounter.org.uk Partnership for Children Good mental health for children, helping your child to cope with bereavement. Telephone: 020 8974 6004 www.partnershipforchildren.org.uk SIBS For brothers and sisters of disabled children and adults, with any disability, long term illness or life limiting conditions. www.sibs.org.uk Young Minds The voice for young people’s mental health and wellbeing. Parents Helpline: 0808 802 5544
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NHS Advice and support organisations Age UK Age UK Advice: 0800 678 1174 www.ageuk.org.uk Bereavement Support Network Advice regarding funerals, probate, tax benefits and preventing junk mail to the deceased. Freephone: 0333 240 0360 www.bereavementsupport.co.uk British Humanist Association 39 Moreland Street, London, EC1V 8BB Telephone: 0207 324 3060 www.humanists.uk CRUSE Email: maidstone@cruse.org.uk Telephone: 01622 671011 Cruse Bereavement Care: 0808 808 1677 Gingerbread Helpline Support for single parents. Telephone: 0808 802 0925 www.gingerbread.org.uk Independent Age Advice line: 0800 319 6789 www.independentage.org
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NHS National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD) 618 Warwick Road, Solihull, West Midlands, B91 1AA Telephone: 0121 711 1343 Email: info@nafd.org.uk www.nafd.org.uk Natural Death Centre The Hill House, Watley Lane, Twyford, Winchester, S021 1QX Telephone: 01962 712690 www.naturaldeath.org.uk Probate and Inheritance Tax Helpline Telephone: 0300 123 1072 Samaritans One to one telephone support available 24 hours. Free number: 116 123 www.samaritans.org Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide SOBS National Helpline: 0300 111 5065 www.uksobs.org The Silver Line Helpline for older people: 0800 470 80 90 www.thesilverline.org.uk Way Widowed and Young For those widowed under age of 50. www.widowedandyoung.org.uk
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NHS Sharing your information Your information will only be disclosed to those who have a genuine need to know and who agree to keep your information confidential. For your direct care we often share information with: • • •
NHS hospitals and clinics GPs Social care
Medway Community Healthcare provides a wide range of high quality community health services for Medway residents; from community nurses and health visitors to speech and language therapists and out of hours urgent care.
Customer care Please send any comments about Medway Community Healthcare services to: Customer Experience Coordinator Medway Community Healthcare MCH House, Bailey Drive, Gillingham, Kent, ME8 0PZ Telephone: 01634 334650 Email: medwaycustomercare@nhs.net All contact will be treated confidentially. This information can be made available in other formats and languages. Please contact: medch.communications@nhs.net Medway Community Healthcare CIC Registered office: MCH House, Bailey Drive, Gillingham, Kent ME8 0PZ Tel: 01634 337593 Registered in England and Wales, Company number: 07275637
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Publication date: July 2026 Review date: July 2028
The Hospice would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services offering their help at this time. Whilst the Hospice is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide. Please note, whilst information is correct at the time of publication, this may be subject to future change.
STOPPING JUNK MAIL If someone you know has died, we can reduce the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them, stopping painful daily reminders. By registering with our free service, the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks.
Call: 0333 006 8114 OR
Visit our website: www.stopmail.co.uk bereavement support network stop mail
here to help
Calls are charged at standard landline rates. Calls from mobiles are included in inclusive call packages. © Bereavement Support Network Ltd 2026
Do you need help with
Probate? You may need help, support or advice on what to do when someone dies in relation to probate. It may not always appear obvious if it will be required.
Call: 0333 240 0360 We offer free guidance on the legal and financial aspects of bereavement including your responsibilities and whether probate is required. You may need to establish whether a property is held in joint names or tenants in common, we can perform a simple check at no cost to establish the title deeds. This service is provided by
bereavement support network here to help
Connecting you with managed and D.I.Y. Probate Solutions Calls are charged at standard landline rates. Calls from mobiles are included in inclusive call packages.
A trading style of Turnside Marketing Ltd
This publication has been jointly developed between ourselves and the hospice. We hope that it has been or will be of help at this time and we welcome any comments or suggestions that you may have. Please contact us either by phone, email or by post. RNS Publications, Trium House, Unit 15, Broughton Way, Whitehills, Blackpool FY4 5QN
01253 832400 enquiries@rns.co.uk
Probate Solutions for cars The death of a family member can be a very difficult and traumatic experience and if you are trying to sell a vehicle that belonged to a deceased family member or friend you currently have limited options.
• Completely Free
Auto Matters makes things very simple without you having to leave your home.
No Problem
The vehicle’s current MOT may have expired or you do not have any insurance for the vehicle so you are unable to drive the vehicle to a garage. You may also have trouble selling the vehicle as the registration document (V5) is still in the deceased person’s name. You may not wish to have private purchasers at your premises at this time. The vehicle may not start/drive or the vehicle could be a long way from your current location.
Service
• Personal Service • We Come To You • No MOT?
• Vehicle Not Taxed? No Problem
• No Insurance? No Problem
• No Log Book (V5)? No Problem
AM AutoMatters Funded by
The Bereavement Support Network
Our free service helps to overcome all of these problems. We will provide payment to yourself, an executor or a solicitor before we move the vehicle.
To get a valuation of the car, please visit www.automatters.co.uk or call 0333 006 2904
bereavement support network here to help
Published by RNS Publications © Tel: 01253 832400 R12