Talking to Teens about Love
A
BY THE CHILDREN’S COALITION FOR NORTHEAST LOUISIANA
s parents, you we must make require their parents to be open-minded. This efforts to learn about the changes way it helps them to listen more willingly to their that occur during puberty. We parents’ concerns and creates an emotionally are familiar with the physical safe space for discussion, sharing and problem changes but not too familiar solving. Communication revolves around about the very crucial social and emotional choice of words, tone of voice, body language, changes. You can learn how to understand your listening to understand, respect for each other, teen’s feelings and emotions. As a willingness to apologize, and a result of significant changes setting aside biases. Not all happening in the brain of your parents feel confident to bring teen, their experiences heightened up the topic of love and romantic emotions, seeks acceptance relationships with their children. and belonging among friends, Even so, it’s best to make the searches for new experiences effort, else children may be and explores their individuality influenced by the media and the through their thoughts and ideas. opinions of their peers. It’s easier The drive to discover self and to to talk about these sensitive create a unique identity, becomes topics in a general context. There an important preoccupation for are enough stories available teens. Childhood dependence on in the media and in real life. LAWRENCIA JENKINS parents soon give way to a search Use them to open discussions, for freedom and independence ask your teen for opinions, during the teen years. While you need to take thoughts and ideas about a story. Encourage a step back, you must continue to build your open debates and avoid the arguments. The relationship with your teen and strengthen the exchange of ideas on love and relationships bond you both share. offer teens many perspectives. They can use Uncomfortable as you may be about love these perspectives to make important decisions and relationships, you must make the effort to for themselves. Parents must therefore facilitate step out of your comfort zone as a parent. Teens open conversations, reserve judgements and be 104 FEBRUARY 2021 | WWW.BAYOULIFEMAG.COM
able to express their views without imposing them, as well as listen intently to their teen’s views. Lawrencia Jenkins is a Provisionally Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Provisionally Licensed Professional Counselor, EMDR trained therapist, and an AAMFT Approved Supervisor-Candidate. She is a Doctoral Candidate at The University of Louisiana at Monroe in the Marriage and Family Therapy & Counseling Department. She is also a clinician at Finding Solace in West Monroe, LA. Lawrencia works with individuals, couples, families, and children. Q: Is there a good way to start a conversation with my child about their love life? A: Conversations and inquiries about your child’s love life can be an uncomfortable feeling for them. Take time every day to have a conversation with your child. Communication should be genuine and free flowing. The ability to communicate effectively with your child on a daily basis can influence how willing they can be to open up about their love life. A good way to start a conversation about their love life would be to ask nonjudgmental questions that require real answers. You can provide your child with the opportunity to open up, without feeling the