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Karrnal Knowledge>>
March 1-7, 2018 • Bay Area Reporter • 27
40 years of fornicatin’ flix
Bruce of Los Angeles
What’s a pretty boy like Bob Koklick doing with such an improbable name?
by John F. Karr
got a typical Gage set up. Blue collar dudes easing a sometimes ret was 40 years ago this month that calcitrant and perhaps str8 buddy I started writing my Karrnal colinto sex. umns. I’d held off a couple weeks This tension-wrought slow slide because I wanted my first review to into perhaps transgressive buddybe Joe Gage’s Kansas City Trucking sex had been Gage’s taut approach Co. Well, as it turned out, Kansas for years. Not this time, though, City wasn’t going to play until the when its execution is so truncated end of August, and I just couldn’t and lackadaisical that it doesn’t have wait any longer to unleash my pen much effect. The plotting is vague on porn. in its presentation. We hardly know Do you remember back then what West Texas Park & Ride is, or when porn palaces showed film, like who these characters are. Turns out an actual movie theatre, and adverthat we’ve got some kind of untised what was coming up next week dercover investigators, coercing or in the B.A.R.? And do you rememleading their subjects into sex acts. ber that my column was then called I think. I didn’t pay too much attenPorn Corner? That was a leftover tion; it was all so mumble-jumble. from a page of press releases comOne hoary and nearly laughable panies submitted to laud their own technique the movie clings to is the movies. According to them, every ancient yet standard way of ending a movie was “The hottest film ever scene. You know, the guys cum, the made!” Come to think viewpoint slides us up a wall, of it, I was brought on or out the window, and the to replace those press screen fades to black. We releases that masquerget that in every scene aded as reviews. here. There’s no wrap I gushed when I up at a scene’s end, finally got to have my just one more camera say about Joe Gage’s ride up the wall into first outing. It was fade-out. a movie, I wrote, “of And there’s nothing such excellence of conception and special about the quality of the imexecution that it became a classic age, the videography, or the editing. moments after its initial release.” As for sets and set dressing; well, I credited its “careful structure, forget it. Things are pretty barren. unique frame of mind, and quiet And the underplayed reading of though strong sense of humor.” lines, which I think Gage hit upon Especially sensational was the moas a way to camouflage amateur ment in the truck’s cab, when experformers, is so uninflected that perienced trucker Richard Locke “acting” seems more like a lack of coaxed his young sidekick into acting. hauling out his dick, and then whisHowever. Although all the perpered that galvanizing instruction, formers have been better served else“Go on, spit on it. Make it slippery.” where, we do get to appreciate once Kansas City Trucking, I concluded, more the curvaceous plentitude of is “the ultimate jack-off film.” Luke Adams’ svelte body and juicy Taking note of my 40th Annicock (upon being arrested by unversary, I seized upon a brand new dercover cops for a crime the script Joe Gage movie as a swell career didn’t make fully comprehensible bookend. Titan Men issued West to me, he falls back on that ancient Texas Park & Ride in January. It’s porn segue-to-sex, “There must be something I can do”). There’s also the only slightly becalmed feistiness of Jeremy Spreadums; the weighty cock and copious cum-blast of Tex Davidson; the huge, rumpled dong of personable Matthew Bosch; the towering size of Jason Vario; and especially, the sleek and slightly stolid Dakota Rivers. After working from 2005 to 2012, Rivers took a break, and finally returned to porn a year ago. At 40, he’s still handsome, smooth and sleek bodied, and just a little bit inscrutable. As a cockfor-hire, he’s been subject to the varying standards of many companies. So I guess he’ll survive the TitanMen.com lackluster package of Bronzed Dakota Rivers is pretty stern this outing. Gotta admit, about pummeling pale Matthew Bosch, though, his fuck does pick in West Texas Park & Ride. up steam. And though Mr. Bosch positions himself
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so Rivers can cum all over his beard, most of River’s forceful blasts soar right over Bosch’s head. Ultimately, though, I found West Texas Park & Ride tired. Or could it be me? After 40 years, have I lost my juju? So this will be my last regularly scheduled column. But I don’t expect to be gone. Could be I’ll make an unannounced appearance now and then. But starting now, you can list me on the masthead as Porn Writer Emeritus. I could wax nostalgic on many a subject. But I’m more amused to clock the fads I’ve lived through. I was quite unsettled by the craze for spitting in people’s faces and mouths that the age of AIDS ushered in. I’m relieved that those ludicrous gas masks have nearly disappeared, along with the puppy vogue. But heaven forbid, the double penetration fuck (DP) is being superseded by the Triple-P. Does one need see have an asshole stretched this far? Watching my face fall is more than enough skin games for me, thank you. And as for cock cages, well, I don’t go for anything that obscures my view. I am the guy, after all, who declared my life’s aim was to see everybody naked with a hard-on at least once. I leave you with two upbeat parting shots. An ad I recently saw in a 1990 B.A.R. asked, “Why work for a living? Dance Naked Onstage and JO for Appreciative Gentlemen.” What a laugh. Just ask the guys who get it hard and cum four times a day if that’s not work. And amongst some photos by Bruce of LA, I just found a model with this classic name: Bob Koklick. Was this lovely blond kid born with that name, or did Bruce convince him it was clever? Nobody used such a provocative nom de porn back in the ‘50s. Oh, well. I’d sign up fast if asked whether I wanted to koklick for a living.t
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