“…this is my unapologetic and ugly truth for all to see.” It is in these moments, I can’t help but hate how disability has impeded so much. And, saying that aloud feels absolutely wrong and yucky because I know this type of mentality can come off as self-loathing, destructive, and just plain gross. I also know someone will always be there to say: “But look at all the things he IS doing!”, or “He’s gonna (fill in blank), I just know it”, or my favorite, “But it could be so much worse”. Well, folks, I’m here to tell you, those empty euphemisms don’t make me feel better. They’re actually quite damaging.
So what is this all really about? To be honest, I don’t know.
I’m not in search of pity, affirmation, reassurance or even understanding... Or, am I?
Couldn’t tell ya.
But, this is my unapologetic and ugly truth for all to see... Perhaps, judge.
My painful, guilt ridden reality I tend to bury down so deep as if to hide it in fear of how it will be perceived by others. Something I’ve learned to absolutely love and loathe, depending on which side of the coin lands that day.
Now, here’s the part where I’m supposed to insert some uplifting gesture of gratitude for it all and remind myself and others to “keep on, keeping on”. Not today, my friends... today, I got nothin.
Mom fail. ∎
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@a.rabbits.tale
54 AWARENOW / THE MAYDAY EDITION
www.IamAwareNow.com