Forget Me Nots

by Gina Henke

When I was initiated into Alpha Phi, my parents sent me a bouquet of silk lily of the valley and forget me not blossoms, our Fraternity flowers tied together with Silver and Bordeaux ribbons. The arrangement still sits atop a bookcase, inside a vase my Alpha Phi Big sister decorated for me. Years have passed, plenty in life has changed and the composite photos I show my daughters from my collegiate years are frayed at the edges, but the small blue flowers in that vase are everlasting reminders that Alpha Phi friendships survive. With a little effort, and because we are rooted in many of the same shared memories and experiences, our sisterly bonds persist despite the fact that sometimes it can be years before we once again embrace face-to-face.

Did our Founders know what would become of their beloved Alpha Phi? Would they have believed the immense opportunity for connectedness and encouragement that over 280,000 members would seize? Could they have dreamed that the foundation they laid, and their bold vision would create a sisterhood whose legacy is alive in each member and renewed in spirit each time we share an Alpha Phi story? Their own relationships with one another and with Alpha Phi must have expanded and evolved, just as ours do once we have our college degree in hand, and we take on new adventures.

It would have been fascinating to lean in close as they spoke to each other later in life, hear how they connected in new ways as they aged, how they gripped a hand with a different strength when they saw one another, how they smiled across the room and shrank the distance between them to mere centimeters.

Did our early Alpha Phis know the forget me not was such a perfect symbol for friendships that stand the test of time? Or was there a deeper understanding of mortality and a desire to leave a legacy that inspires other Alpha Phis to honor the way friendship and sisterhood link generation to generation without end?

Forget me nots push up from the ground as gardens wake from their winter slumber, resisting rot and reminding us that there is warmth just the other side of the cold.

Their spread and prevalence are bemoaned by some, but their reemergence and self-seeding process is a lot like friendship. Yes, without sunlight, water or nutrients for an extended period, forget me nots will die; but, like friendships, these blooms can withstand some periods of laisse-faire existence. Forget me nots prefer cool weather, moist soil and indirect light, but they can grow nearly anywhere. Sometimes there is a year in between blooms, but they always find their way back up toward fresh air. Undeterred by a cold snap, they appear in classic blue and also white and pink.

Former International President Marian Wiley Keys (Alpha-Syracuse) wrote of her own memories of the Founders, sharing that “Clara Sittser Williams was a plump and jolly soul who used to entertain us with stories of the practical jokes they played on one another.” Martha Foote Crow was remembered as a “sweetfaced, white haired, ethereal” poet and idealist who used to come and speak to them as new members. Kate Hogoboom, along with Martha, were appointed to draft Alpha Phi’s constitution and first ritual ceremonies, and they loved to watch as their papers flowed, in the style of ancient manuscripts, unfurling in large swaths upon the floor.

Jane Higham and Louise Shepard Hancock, professionally a teacher and a minister’s wife respectively, were always together, lifelong friends. Clara Bradley Burdette lived to nearly 100, had been a beauty and toastmistress extraordinaire. Sepereena A. Michaels Atchison, better known as Reena, was our first Alpha Phi chapter president, an author, journalist and political activist. Always taking up for causes she believed in, she was a suffrage leader, and that interest led her to Frances E. Willard, who became Alpha Phi’s first alumna initiate.

Louise Shepard Hancock (Alpha-Syracuse)

Hattie Florence Chidester Lukens made her mark on the world through teaching, coming a long way from The Original Ten renting her father’s office for their chapter meetings. Sadly, she was the first to enter the Silent Chapter. Ida Arabella Gilbert DeLamanter Houghton never merely entered a room; instead, she “breezed in, and everyone stopped until they heard what she had to say.” Before going on to teach and write, she and her mother established the tradition of having a banquet to celebrate Alpha Phi initiation. Elizabeth Grace Hubbell Shults went by Grace and was brilliant, the Founder old enough to sign legal documents of incorporation in New York and the first of the group to be married.

These are snippets of memories passed down from generation to generation among Alpha Phis. What stories have escaped our archives? What would their adolescent and childhood years have been like? How did they make the transition from one stage of life to the next? Living in a world where opportunities were so severely limited for women, what does that do to a young woman’s confidence, and how did our Founders manage to retain a level of selfesteem that made creating their own society seem like an action they were ready to embrace? If The Original Ten were around now, what would they hold onto as their most precious memories?

For those who are not as familiar with the way our Founders’ lives unfolded after college, we are pleased to share some of the ways they were inspired to live fully, in all directions, thanks in part to the encouragement they received within Alpha Phi. 1

Rena Michaels Atchison

Born in 1855 in Lysander, New York, Sepereena, known as Rena, was admitted to Syracuse University as a junior in 1872. Alpha Phi was incorporated under the name “Michaleanean Society” in honor of Rena, who was Alpha Phi’s first president. The Michaelanean Society still exists as a corporation and owns the Alpha-Syracuse chapter house. Rena earned her bachelor’s degree in 1874, her master’s degree in 1879 and a PhD in 1880. After her father died, Rena briefly lived in Syracuse with her mother.

She encouraged a love of learning in others as she taught at Upper Iowa University, Albion College and DePauw University. From 18861891, she was the Dean of Women at Northwestern University. She wrote a book, annotated an edition of Victor Hugo’s Ruy Bias (1885) and also wrote for journals and newspapers, including the Chicago Evening Post. Rena was active in politics, inspired by leaders like Frances E. Willard, suffrage leader who became Alpha Phi’s first alumna initiate.

She married the Reverend Wilbur Fisk Atchison, who was a member of Delta Upsilon fraternity and a Northwestern University graduate. They made a home in the Hyde Park neighborhood of Chicago, where the reverend served as a pastor of the Hyde Park Methodist Church, before moving to Morgan Park, Illinois. Rena was a supporter of the Women’s Christian Temperance Union, the president and secretary of the Cook County Woman’s Suffrage Society of Illinois and was listed in Who’s Who in America. After joining the Silent Chapter on October 29, 1933, she was buried next to her husband at Bluff City Cemetery in Elgin, Illinois.

Clarissa "Clara" Bradley Burdette

Born the daughter of Albert Harvey Bradley and Laura Orinda Covill Bradley, Clara entered the world in East Bloomfield, New Jersey on July 22, 1855. The family moved to Syracuse in 1865 and she enrolled in Syracuse University in 1872. While she studied to earn her degree, which she did in 1876, she worked in the Chancellor’s office to help earn money for her tuition. Clara’s mother, affectionately remembered as “Ma Bradley,” loaned the chapter $50 to rent and furnish its first chapter meeting room.

After graduation, Clara secured jobs in education. From 1877-1878, she served as preceptress at Rockland College in Nyack, New York and at Wesleyan Seminary in Eau Claire, Wisconsin from 1878-1879. In 1879 she took a job as an English instructor at Lawrence University in Appleton, Wisconsin.

Clara Bradley Wheeler Baker Burdette (Alpha-Syracuse)

In 1878, Clara married bright Syracuse University classmate Nathaniel Millman Wheeler, who was a teacher and a principal at several colleges and schools.

The two had a son, Roy Bradley Wheeler, was born on September 26, 1883. The family moved to Los Angeles in 1885, where Nathaniel had been appointed as a professor of Greek and history at the University of Southern California. Sadly, one year later, Nathaniel passed away on December 5, 1886.

Clara dedicated herself as a philanthropist to charitable efforts and to her family. She shared that she was proud to “give my life to service. I will do everything that comes to me to do the very best I know how.” Clara served on every committee and in almost every office of the Alpha chapter and throughout her life was an active member of Alpha Phi.

She participated in numerous educational and literary organizations throughout her long life. She was the first president of the State Federation of Women’s Clubs and was the first vice president of the General Federation of Women’s Clubs from 1902-1904. Clara served as the chief donor of the Pasadena Maternity Hospital and was a trustee for Throop Polytechnic Institute (now known as Caltech). She also served as the first vice president and chair of the finance committee of the Auditorium Company, which managed the construction of a 2,700-seat auditorium three books including, The Rainbow and the Pot of Gold, To Idealize Drudgery and an autobiography that responds to a question Frances E. Willard posed to Clara, which is titled The Answer.

The mayor of Pasadena made Clara a special police officer, her duties dealing with protection of little children against cruelty and neglect. She was the only honorary president of Alpha Phi and was referred to as “Mother Burdette.” Clara established the first Alpha Phi Foundation scholarship with a bequest. The Clara Bradley Burdette Society, which recognizes planned gifts, is named after her.

In 1890, Clara married Presley C. Baker of Pasadena. After his death, she wed Robert Jones Burdette, who passed away in 1914. Her great-granddaughter, Ardella Tibby, was initiated as an Alpha Phi at the Beta Pi chapter at the University of Southern California in 1959. Clara was the last Founder to enter the Silent Chapter when she passed away in January of 1954. She is buried at Rosedale Cemetery in Los Angeles.

Martha Emily Foote Crow

Martha, called Mattie by friends, was born May 28, 1854, in Sackett’s Harbor, New York to the Reverend John Barlett Foote and Mary Pendexter Stilphin Foote. After attending Cazenovia Seminary and Syracuse High School, she entered Syracuse University in 1872. From the beginning of Alpha Phi, she dreamed of establishing an international Fraternity. Part of the chapter program was literary exercise, and in one of these essays she wrote: “Now that we have founded this Alpha chapter of the Alpha Phi Sorority, is this all there is to do? ... No indeed … We have all the alphabet to go through, and to go through again and again …Can we not be a world society as well as a national one? Yes, there is work enough for all of us, and today is no time to be idle.”

Martha Foote Crow, Alpha Phi Founder

Upon graduating in 1876 with a bachelor’s degree with honors (PhB), Martha was appointed as preceptress at Ives Seminary in Antwerp, New York. She went on to work as “Lady Principal” at Waynesburg College in Pennsylvania from 1877-1878 and then spent the next four years teaching English Literature at the Newton High School in Massachusetts. Martha was the assistant to the college president and a lecturer at Wellesley College in Massachusetts from 1882-1884 and then served as the principal of Iowa College in Iowa from 1884-1891.

The first national president of Alpha Phi, Martha was reelected to that office in 1877 while principal of Waynesburg College. She returned to Syracuse University and earned her master’s degree in English Literature in 1885.

On August 7, 1884, she married John McCluskey Crow, whom she met at Waynesburg College and who was a school principal in Illinois. The two welcomed daughter Agatha, born September 20, 1888. Sadly, just two years after, Agatha died, and John passed away two months in October of 1890. Martha was heartbroken but remained involved in her work.

In 1891, she went abroad under commission from the National Bureau of Education to study women’s education in Europe. She studied at Oxford, Cambridge at the University of Leipzig. In 1892, she was appointed assistant professor of English Literature in Chicago. Following that role, she worked as assistant professor of English Literature and Dean of Women at Northwestern University. She lectured to scholarly societies and was an active member of the Browning Society, the League of American Pen Women, the Poetry Society of America and the General Foundation of Women’s Clubs. She published many essays and poems, as well as several books, including Elizabethan Sonnet Cycles, The World Above, The American Country Girl, Christ in the Poetry Today and more. A member of Phi Beta Kappa, Martha was listed in Who’s Who in America and served Alpha Phi throughout her life in various positions. She hosted receptions and joyfully attended events and conventions. In 1922, she famously donated her engagement ring to launch the Martha Foote Crow Foundation for Alpha Phi.

In later years, she briefly returned to Syracuse and then moved to New York City to live with her half-sister Elizabeth on E. 53rd Street. There, she wrote, lectured and worked on behalf of numerous organizations. Martha joined the Silent Chapter on January 1, 1924, and is buried at Oakwood Cemetery in Syracuse, New York.

Katherine Elizabeth Hogoboom Gilbert

Kate, known as Kittie to her friends, was born in Ovid, New York on February 20, 1855. Her father Robert Hogoboom and mother Esther moved the family to various cities in New York before settling in Syracuse. In 1875, Kate graduated from Syracuse University with a bachelor’s degree. She went on to also earn a master’s degree from the university in 1878 and a music degree in 1879. She was Alpha Phi’s first recording secretary and her enthusiasm for Alpha Phi was infectious. At the first meeting of Alpha Phi, Kate suggested they all join hands and sing, and thus a tradition was born.

Together with Martha, she wrote the first draft of the Alpha Phi constitution, and she kept it locked in a room in her house at 305 Waverly Avenue.

She served as the preceptress of Union school in Newark, New York from 1876-1877 and as a music teacher in Ithaca, New York from 1879-1880. A gifted musician and vocalist, Kate sang as part of the State Street Church choir in Syracuse and later at Plymouth Church in Syracuse. On September 8, 1880, she married James Morgan Gilbert, another graduate of Syracuse University and a member of Psi Upsilon. From 18841888, they made a home in Washington state, but returned to Syracuse to raise their daughter Ruth, who was born July 1, 1881. Ruth was initiated as an Alpha Phi on October 11, 1901, making her the first legacy initiate of Alpha Phi.

Kate was a charter member of the Portfolio Club and was active in the Morning Musical and Current Events Club. She also served as the assistant superintendent of the Sunday School, as the corresponding secretary of the Woman’s Home Missionary Society and as the district president of the Woman’s Foreign Missionary Society. Kate joined the Silent Chapter on May 10, 1900.

Louise Viola Shepard Hancock

Daughter of Charles and Elouisa Barnes Shepard, Louise was born in Rome, New York and attended Rome Academy before entering Syracuse University in 1872. After earning her bachelor’s degree in 1876, she received her master’s degree in modern languages in 1878. She was determined, often wanting the last word and fighting for it, but she was a true friend. After attending the Rome Free Academy with Jane Higham, the two remained very close their whole lives. Louise’s children even called Jane, “Aunt Janie.”

Never one to be idle, Louisa taught Italian, served as a correspondent for various newspapers. After graduation, she traveled by train across the U.S. to San Francisco. She returned to Rome, New York and on March 2, 1887, she married a British man, the Reverend George Henry Hancock. Together, they had three daughters, Ruth, May Alice and Nan Louise, who was later initiated at the Alpha-Syracuse chapter. They also had two sons, John and George. They moved to Greenfield Township, Ohio and later to Grand Rapids, Michigan. When her husband died in 1917, Louise went to live with May and son-in-law Ray Cornell. Louise entered the Silent Chapter on December 17, 1932 in Boston, and her funeral was held in the Grand Rapids church her husband had helped build. Her ashes were placed beside her husband’s grave.

Jane Sara Higham

Modest, quiet and known affectionately as “Jennie,” Jane was born November 18, 1853 in Rome, New York to Joseph Higham and Susana Cheetham Higham, who had both emigrated from England to the U.S. Jane was part of a large family and they moved to Syracuse when she was 16. She earned her bachelor’s degree in 1876 from Syracuse University and went on to earn her master’s degree in 1879. She was elected to Phi Beta Kappa and traveled abroad from 1892-1893.

A lifelong learner, Jane was part of academics for 44 years. She was an administrator and teacher at many schools, including Onondaga Academy, Rome High School, Clinton Liberal Institute and Rome Free Academy, where she taught for 35 years. When she retired in 1922, her students gifted her $400 in gold and a book they had all signed. A newspaper editorial column honored her upon her retirement, sharing, “No teacher has made a more lasting impression of true culture and refinement of spirit than Miss Higham, and she has always had the happy faculty of inspiring both friendship and effort.”

Jane Higham, Alpha Phi Founder

An active member of Alpha Phi throughout her postcollegiate life, following her final Convention, she wrote, “When I think of the faces of Alpha Phi women, I feel sure that Alpha Phi is big enough and noble enough to reach out and help others where there is the greatest need.”

Jane was a member of the First Baptist Church, the Woman’s Club and the Rome chapter of the American Red Cross. When she entered the Silent Chapter on May 16, 1949, she was buried at Wright Settlement Cemetery in Rome, New York.

Ida Arabella Gilbert DeLamanter Houghton

Born in Phoenix, New York on September 22, 1854, Ida enrolled in Syracuse University in 1872. After graduation, she entered the teaching profession briefly and returned to Syracuse University a few years later to pursue a master’s degree in modern languages, which she earned in 1879. The youngest of the Original Ten, she and her family lived in a mansion on Tuttle Street. She and her mother arranged the first Alpha Phi banquet following Initiation, a tradition still enjoyed today. Witty and fun, it was said that Ida often breezed into a room and was so captivating that people would stop to hear what she had to say. In her career, she taught and wrote for magazines and newspapers.

Ida Gilbert, Alpha Phi Founder

She wed George Beckwith DeLamanter on September 27, 1882. A few years later, they welcomed their son, Foster Beckwith, who was born on July 7, 1885, and sadly passed away in February of 1886. Tragically, George died the next year in September of 1897. Ida remarried to widower Reverend Oscar Allen Houghton, who had three degrees to his names and was a member of Phi Beta Kappa and Delta Kappa Epsilon. Ida joined the Silent Chapter on January 1, 1916, and is buried at Palmyra Cemetery in Palmyra, New York.

Hattie Florence Chidester Lukens

Daughter of Dr. David Chidester and Mary Chidester, Florence, as she preferred to be called, was born in Utica, New York and raised in Syracuse. For $7.50 for the length of the term, the Alpha chapter sisters rented their first chapter room, Florence’s father’s office, where they held meetings on Friday nights. She received a bachelor’s degree in 1875 at 21 and then a master’s degree in science in 1879.

After college, she became an elocutionist and English teacher at the State Normal School in Shippensburg, Pennsylvania, an elocutionist at the State University of Minnesota and at the Young Ladies’ School in Clifton Springs, New York and an instructor at various teachers’ institutes in Pennsylvania and Iowa.

She gave many readings, traveling to 14 states and territories to do so. A Syracuse newspaper wrote, “It is a matter of gratification that a Syracuse lady and graduate of the university has achieved such flattering successes in this difficult department of literary work.”

On December 18, 1880, she married W. J. Wolverton of Milton, Pennsylvania. After his death, she married Charles Marion Lukens, a physician from Rochester where the couple lived until Florence’s death. Sadly, on September 21, 1885, she became the first Founder to enter the Silent Chapter. She is buried in Oakwood Cemetery in Syracuse, New York.

Elizabeth Grace Hubbell Shults

Born March 9, 1850 in Rochester New York, Grace, as she preferred to be called, was born. She attended the Rochester Free Academy, graduating with honors at age 13. When she was 16, she began teaching at the Rochester Collegiate Institute and took a preparatory course at Genesee Wesleyan Conference Seminary before enrolling in Syracuse University in 1871.

While at the university, she pursued her academic passions and found love along the way. The day after graduation, on June 29, 1876, she married classmate and Delta Kappa Epsilon member James Henry Shults at her family home in Rochester. After graduation, she taught Classics at State Normal School in Cortland, New York before later taking work as a private tutor. She wrote for various periodicals as well.

Grace Hubbell, Alpha Phi Founder

When the couple moved to California for a teaching job he was offered, Grace found time to devote as the president of the Pasadena Shakespearian Society. Together, they had four children and were devastated when one passed away at age one.

She made it a point to stay connected to Alpha Phi and was particularly close with Clara Bradley and Alice Lee McDowell who were living in California. Grace joined the Silent Chapter on December 5, 1895 in Pasadena, California. She was cremated, and her ashes are interred at Lakeview Cemetery in Cleveland.

Clara E. Sittser Williams

Clara was born in Weedsport, New York on October 15, 1852 to her father who was a farmer and her mother who was a homemaker. She attended Syracuse University from 1872-1873, and was the only Founder who did not graduate from the university.

She was remembered as being generous of spirit and sharing treats from the family farm with her sisters. The first Alpha Phi meeting was held in Clara’s room, and Clara was involved in one of the early moments that led to the creation of a new bylaw. Her sisters were not happy with her when she gave her Alpha Phi badge to a Mr. Lombard and they insisted she retrieve it. A few weeks later, members approved a new bylaw that stated, “no member of Alpha Phi society shall allow any person not a member of this order, to wear or hold in his or her possession her society pin.” The badge was returned and all was resolved.

In 1877, she and Dr. Marcus J. William, a physician, married. Two years later, they welcomed a daughter, Mabel, and adopted two children, Gladys (born in 1887) and Basil (born in 1881). Devoted to her family, Clara, Marcus and their children made their homes in Jordan, New York, Elbridge, New York and eventually returned to Syracuse.

A faithful Alpha Phi, she wrote an essay titled “Old Girl and Days of ‘72” for Alpha Phi’s 40th reunion. In it she shared, “ We thought it would be a fine idea socially to for a circle of sympathetic friends whom we would know personally. We had as our aim the mutual improvement of each other, ever trying to do our best in college work, always keeping a high ideal before us. Never under any circumstances were we to speak disparagingly of sister. We were to be ever loyal to one another, in joys or sorrows, success or failure and ever extend a helping hand to our sisters who needed our aid; truly we planned to be a ‘Union Hand in Hand.’”

Clara joined the Silent Chapter on April 6, 1925.

None of our collegians, and very few living alumnae, have met our Founders. The Original Ten exist for today’s members as stories and anecdotes, inspirations whose legacies we carry forward in the name of sisterhood, innovation, determination and in the name of Alpha Phi. Still, we remember them through their writings, through our history, through stories and memories shared generation to generation.

The opportunities for remembrance feel more natural as I age. Is it because the closer you get to the midpoint of your life, the more you are aware of the fact that there is a midpoint, an end? Or is it because the remembering is essential to storytellers and – dare I suggest – for us all?

As Alpha Phi sisters, we strive to care for one another the same way we care for ourselves. These friends who celebrate us at our best, and forgive us at our worst, often become like family. This care and investment in one another are qualities our Founders exhibited to one another, and which has informed every generation of Alpha Phis.

In this way, you can see our Founders in the smiles of the friends who gathered to celebrate your wedding during the pandemic by hosting a drive-through celebration in the neighborhood. You can know a bit of our Founders by being fortunate enough to have an Alpha Phi sister who strung holiday lights around your dorm room to cheer you up. You can understand a bit of who Clara, Kate, Martha and all of the Founders were when you know your Alpha Phi sisters love your children like they are their own; who check in to make sure you are okay; who hold you when you are grieving; who will laugh with you until you are all crying; who are excited to slip on matching sunglasses and take on the world together; who will make sure you make it safely home; who will remind you that you can do anything you set your mind to; who will put their life on hold to cheer you on; who grant us the grace to fall short and who will help us achieve our dreams; who will wonder alongside you, “what’s next?”

We have been fortunate to connect with the families of some of our Founders, and we were eager to learn what we could, whether it be a memory, an anecdote or even a feeling we may not have previously recorded about our Original Ten.

Lynn Marie Armstrong Kelly (Zeta Zeta-Murray State) carried forward the legacy of Louise Shepard Hancock (Alpha-Syracuse), her greatgreat grandmother, and her great grandmother, Nan Louise Hancock Armstrong (Alpha-Syracuse) as an Alpha Phi. Lynn recalls the familial pride that was passed down from generation to generation that Louise had helped establish Alpha Phi. “My family shared stories about what an honor it was to have had [Louise] as such a strong and bold woman, making a path for others at such a young age,” shared Lynn.

Ardella “Ardy” Tibby (Beta Pi-USC), great-great granddaughter of Clara, recalled how her Grandmother Burdette, whom she called Gigi, cared for her cousins after their father, Clara’s son Roy, passed away. “I remember visiting her, she was in her 80s then, and how she would wear her lace dresses and sit at her big chair that, as a child, resembled a throne… She was determined and driven and that helped provide each of us unique experiences she helped to arrange. Gigi also had a collection of bells, and I remember her asking me to open the case and ring some of them for her when I would visit,” recalled Ardy.

Our Founders are interred in New York, Illinois, California, Michigan and Ohio, but those cemeteries in the states across the country don’t represent where they live. Each time we pass the grip or remember the meaning of AOE; when we enjoy the friendship of our sisters or make time to remember those Alpha Phis who have joined the Silent Chapter; every moment we keep their spirits close, vibrant and full of life – each time we take these actions, we keep them alive for ourselves and future generations of Alpha Phis. I see our Founders in the eyes of each of the Alpha Phis I love. In that way, our Founders live, laugh, and yes, sometimes rest, in our hearts and minds for all Alpha Phis who take the time to get to know their stories.