ALW’S LIFE TIPS
Allen Loibner-Waitkus
1
# —If you tell someone you made a #2 in your pants, they will never suspect you of making it up. The uses are countless.
2
# —There are more legitimate reasons to be violent than there are to be mean.
3
# —Invest in quality pens and sunglasses.
4
# —If you are ever uncomfortable in a situation, leave. If you don’t have a good reason to leave, make one up. If you can’t think of one, feel free to borrow my #1.
5
# —Take care of your bartender, and your bartender will take care of you.
6
# —It’s really hard for someone not to like you if they think you like them.
7
# —Wear sunscreen. Seriously.
8
# —The higher your level of education, the more valuable your time is considered.
9
# —Tips should start at 20% and go up the better the service. If you think your waiter or waitress deserves less than 15%, then you may need to speak to management about the business’s quality of service.
10—Never argue anything that can be definitively proved via a simple Google search.
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