Real Talk: Mental Health By Giselle Vallejo, LPCC, NCC, Associate Director/Lead Clinician The Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at VVSD, San Diego
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Dear supporter, If you’re reading this, it means you’ve likely devoted significant time and effort to supporting a loved one living with PTSD. You may feel unsure about how to help, overwhelmed by sadness or frustration, or questioning whether your efforts are making a difference. Supporting someone with trauma is complex, and it’s okay to feel uncertain, exhausted, or lost along the way. This message is for you—to remind you that your feelings are valid and to encourage you to care for yourself as much as your loved one. Your well-being is essential in this process, and you matter. How PTSD Affects Relationships Communication challenges PTSD can disrupt communication. Your loved one may struggle to express emotions, avoid conversations, or easily become irritable. You might not always understand their triggers or emotional states, leading to misunderstandings. They may also fear vulnerability, making openness difficult. Emotional distress Being close to someone with PTSD can feel emotionally draining. You may experience feelings of helplessness or confusion, and emotional burnout is common. Their emotional numbness or detachment might leave you feeling neglected, and anxiety or depression can affect you both. 18 20 WWW.SanDiegoVeteransMagazine.com / June 2025
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Common stressors in relationships Relationships with someone experiencing PTSD often face added stress. Trust issues may arise, financial struggles could emerge if they face work challenges, and social isolation might occur as they withdraw. Parenting conflicts may also surface due to differences in coping styles or emotional availability. Caring for Yourself 1. Give yourself grace You don’t need to know everything about PTSD or handle every situation perfectly. Allow yourself to make mistakes, feel uncertain, or even frustrated. Selfcompassion is just as important as the compassion you give others. 2. Make time for yourself Caring for someone can make it easy to lose yourself. Dedicate time to activities that bring you peace and joy, like reading, exercising, or spending time with friends. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. 3 Set boundaries Establishing boundaries around your time and energy helps protect your well-being. Healthy boundaries also foster mutual respect and create stability in your relationship. 4.Build a support system You don’t need to face this alone. Seek support from friends, family, or groups that understand your experience. Support networks can provide encouragement and a sense of community.