Real Talk: Mental Health By Giselle Vallejo, LPCC, NCC The Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at VVSD, San Diego www.vvsd.net/cohenclinics
Your Journey to Self-Love Self-love can be interpreted in different ways, such as appreciation of oneself or respecting your worth. It is often difficult for people to take time out of their day to provide a moment of self-appreciation or self-compassion. And, understandably so, we are often trying to meet or exceed the expectations and needs of others. We often see military families having to juggle many roles at once, especially around deployments or Permanent Change of Station (PCS) season. For example, one parent might find themself taking on extra responsibilities and having to navigate everything on their own, while their spouse might be deployed. And, on the opposite end, the person serving also must find ways to manage duties at work while making time to stay connected from afar.
health, it will be easier to engage in healthy eating habits when you identify why health is important to you. An increased awareness of your values can also help develop a stronger relationship with yourself and your needs. 2. Set healthy boundaries by putting your needs first. Whether this is in your home life or work life, it is important to know what your limit is to avoid being burnt out. Setting boundaries can look like taking a social media break for mental clarity or saying no when you already have too much on your plate. 3. Try speaking to yourself in the same compassionate way you would to a friend or a loved one. When you find yourself speaking down or harsh to yourself, attempt to identify what you appreciate about what you have done. 4. Take a moment to reflect on your emotional state and write out the feeling you may be experiencing. This can also help you understand where those emotions are coming from and can lift some weight off your shoulders.
Some people might feel “selfish” to engage in self-love activities, while others might feel “unworthy”. Self-love is not about being selfish or not worthy. In fact, it is the opposite of that. Self-love is about respecting yourself and prioritizing your individual needs. Let’s face it, the more we make it a priority to take care of ourselves, the more space we can hold for everything else in our lives. Providing time for self-love can increase awareness, positivity, and balance in your life by setting time aside to understand what your needs and wants are. In addition, it gives us the opportunity to grow mentally, physically, and spiritually through self-reflection.
5. Make time in your day to participate in something you enjoy, even if it is for 5 minutes. For example, it can be completing a word puzzle, listening to your favorite song, dancing, or calling a friend to let them know you have been thinking about them.
Setting time aside to practice self-love can be done in many ways. Below are some ways to engage in self-love that will, hopefully, help you start your journey this year with a fresh perspective on how to appreciate yourself a little more.
Whatever it is you do to focus on self-love, remember that starting something new can be difficult and will take time.
1. Start with identifying what your values are. Values are important to understanding your “why” when engaging in different activities. For example, if you value 16
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6. When in doubt of how to proceed with practicing or implementing self-love, try seeking out for support with a mental health expert. The Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinics are great resources to utilize in order to help manage your stressors and to provide guidance on enhancing your self-love techniques.
The suggestions above are just a few ways to practice self-love. Also, consider looking at the Cohen Veterans Network’s Self-Love Tips for the New Year for more tips. Learn more by visiting cohenveteransnetwork.org/self-love-tips-for-the-new-year