16
JULY 2023
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CAHABA SUN
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CAHABASUN.COM
OPINION Sean of the South By Sean Dietrich
Fourth of July “Why do we celebrate the Fourth of July?” my 6-year-old niece asked me. We were by the swimming pool. It was the perfect afternoon. The sky was Technicolor blue. The smell of Kingsford smoke was in the air. At first, I wasn’t sure how to answer my niece’s question. At least not in a way she would understand. After all, this particular American holiday is a grandiose thing. How do you describe to a 6-year-old the significance of Old Glory, “purple mountains majesty” and the inexpressible splendor of Dale Earnhardt Sr.? “Well, sweetie,” I said. “That’s a good question …” But then I sort of drew a blank. Why do we celebrate the Fourth? I suddenly realized I know less about this American holiday than I thought I did. In fact, one could say that I don’t know Shinola about the Fourth of July. And, apparently, I’m not alone. Because I conducted an informal study by asking students in Mrs. Anderson’s Sunday school class why we celebrate this uniquely American holiday. Here are some answers I received: ► John, 11, said, “It was the French or something.” ► Eilene, 9, “That’s when we won the war against Mexico. No wait. I mean China.” ► Benji, 9, “Because that’s when we do
the fireworks.” and ended Sept. 3, 1783. ► Ashley, 12, “We celebrate Neither is the Fourth of July the this holiday because in 1812, we date of the writing of the Declarasigned a Treaty of Paris, and it tion of Independence, which was just became a thing.” written between June 11 and June 28, 1776. The Declaration wasn’t ► And my favorite answer of all comes from Landon, age 8, signed on July 4, either. It was who answered with the utmost signed on Aug. 2. Similarly, the Fourth has nothsincerity: “It’s when Diana Ross made our flag.” ing to do with the Constitution, Dietrich So all this got me thinking. which was penned Sept. 17, 1787. Exactly how much do my fellow And no, July Fourth is not George adults know about the Fourth of July? I posed Washington’s birthday. It is, however, the birththe same question to grown-ups. day of President Calvin Coolidge. Also, Ger► Pamela, 32, “Well, the Fourth of July aldo Rivera. is our nation’s literal birthday, when all those The reason we celebrate this date is straightguys signed the Constitution.” forward and simple. On July 4, 1776, the 56 ► Anders, 63, said, “It’s America’s birth- members of the Second Continental Congress day. Everyone knows that. The Pilgrims and officially adopted a document that confessed high treason against Great Britain. all that.” It was a document the 13 colonies had been ► Emily, 21, “It’s the anniversary of our nation, when the big war finally ended in pleading for. A document that would change Germany.” global history. ► Robert, 39, “I can’t remember which It was a humble manuscript, engrossed on battle we won. The Revolution, maybe? All animal skin, which took Thomas Jefferson 17 I know is that our nation is going to be 230 arduous days to draft. A declaration. years old.” A document whose second paragraph reads, So, we had some work to do. “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that Because the Fourth of July is not the date of all men are created equal …” a famous battle. Nor does it mark the beginning But the reason I personally celebrate this of the Revolutionary War, nor the ending. The holiday is deeper than a sheet of parchment. Revolutionary War started on April 19, 1775, I don’t celebrate because we are the most
powerful nation, or the most economically prosperous, or the country with the highest funded military. I celebrate the Fourth of July for one simple reason: Because I love you. Plain and simple. You see, being an American means that we live in a place where you and I are equals. Not metaphorically, not philosophically, but literally. It says so on our founding document. You matter as much as I do. This is true not only because it was written in the most beautiful English prose, but by a deft hand. It’s true because it’s true. So, I celebrate because, no matter who you are, no matter what you believe, no matter where you come from, no matter which language you speak, or who you marry, or what kind of wild stuff you post on social media, you’re my brother. You’re my sister. And I love you dearly. And even though we don’t always get along, even though we aggravate each other, you and I are on the same side. Our ancestors died proving it. And Thomas Jefferson put it in writing. So happy 247th birthday, America. And may God bless Diana Ross. Sean Dietrich is a columnist and novelist known for his commentary on life in the American South. He has authored nine books and is the creator of the “Sean of the South” blog and podcast.
Southern Musings By Gary Lloyd
Payphoning it forward in Trussville You know those phone calls you make, the ones where you’re bounced from line to line, as if you’re a human pinball? Well, have I got a story for you. There’s this payphone in Trussville, and I’ll leave its exact coordinates out of this space in case WiMacTel gets ahold of this column. More on that in a minute. Anyway, if you have a child who enjoys playground slides and swings, you’ve seen it. Maybe you used it to dial home when you were a kid. In a world of smartphones, pocket-sized social media addictions with more lenses than a Nikon D3500, I decided to trace back this relic, a black phone attached to a cord inside a metal box bolted to concrete. Here’s what I found out. City of Trussville officials did not know this payphone’s origin, or if there were other outdoor public payphones remaining in the city. They, along with myself, ventured to guess
there were not. I researched online Next, I called the actual local — CNBC articles, Wikipedia, payphone’s number, 205-661random Google searches — and 9347. It’s unsurprisingly disconspent the most time on this webnected. I then called the Service site for The Payphone Project, and Refund number printed on the which tracks the de-evolution phone. It was no longer in service, of payphones and phone booths but a recorded message advised across America. I took several me to contact Lumen Technoloclose-up photos of the payphone gies — via email. The call then with my iPhone so that I had all its disconnected automatically. information — its phone number, I emailed Lumen Technologies’ Lloyd CenturyTel’s number, the service public relations email address number, instructions and more. with my phone-related questions: How long I called the CenturyTel number, which appar- has this payphone been here? Are there others ently had been changed. Instead of CenturyTel, in Trussville? How long has that one quarter I was directed to a free medical alert device been fossilized in the coin slot? I was contacted promotion. I told the woman on the other end by the global issues director, who told me my of the line that I had the wrong number. She inquiry was a “great story idea.” He advised that tried to sell me on some “free” medical alert their payphone business was sold to WiMacTel, devices anyway. previously FSH, in 2004. I was a high school
sophomore, and at the time was likely using a navy Motorola Razr, all the craze back then, even at a dime per text message. I contacted WiMacTel — via email. Two days passed without a reply. I sent another email message, and I’m still awaiting a reply, a year later. Maybe it’s for the best that I never received a response, so that this bulky artifact remains in place. So, all that to tell you that I tried. I had planned on a long feature story, a deep look at a past communication method that somehow is still bolted to a sidewalk in this undisclosed Trussville location. But, like trying to get through to someone, anyone, I was passed off to one person then the next until, finally, I was disconnected. Click. Gary Lloyd is the author of six books and a contributing writer to the Cahaba Sun.