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Miss Black America

Dating Advice If It Don’t Fit …

Screen Savor

Every Day is Halloween

Interview

Let’s Have a Keke Palmer

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SOUTHEASTERN PREMIERE! A suspenseful examination of an alienated young man’s life filled with mystery and murder.

By Chay Yew FEBRUARY 7-23, 2019 Tickets: $15 and up Out Front Theatre Company 999 Brady Avenue, Atlanta

www.OutFrontTheatre.com

CONTENTS

FEBRUARY 06, 2019

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From the Editor After a pretty slow January where things seemed to need a little time to get back into the swing, February is here to kick things up a notch with lots of events and occasions.

Chris Azzopardi Jeff Fuller Jamie Kirk Gregg Shapiro

Valentine’s Day is coming up, and as a prelude, we thought a little guidance to the intricate world of dating could be helpful.

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And of course, February is also observed as Black History Month – a time to remember the contributions, achievements, and significant accomplishments of African Americans throughout the American nation’s history. Just by living in Atlanta, we are all inextricably linked to Black empowerment and activism, and one of those groundbreaking initiatives is the Miss Gay Black America pageant, which started 40 years ago, and to this day honors principles of service and giving back to the community. Read our interview with the reigning Miss Gay Black America, Aria B. Cassadine, on page 12 and 14.

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That and so much more in this issue of Peach!

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The content of Peach ATL Media is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Peach ATL Media are not necessarily those of this publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose. It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through Peach ATL Media meets your specific requirements. Peach ATL Media is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to Peach ATL Media, including but not limited to articles, advertisements, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of Peach ATL Media may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the publisher.

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Mystery and Murder Out Front Theatre continues its third season with the Southeastern Premiere of PORCELAIN

by Chay Yew - a thrilling piece surrounding race relations in 1990’s England.

John is a 19-year-old gay Chinese-British man in London who works for his immigrant father’s restaurant and whose performance on his “A level” exams has won him acceptance for an upcoming term at Cambridge University.

But he is restless, lonely and unsure of his identity. So he takes temporary solace in hooking up with strange men in public bathrooms.

Porcelain is a suspenseful examination of an alienated young man’s life filled with mystery and murder. Directed by Matt Huff and starring Kevin Qian, Michael Short, Joseph Johnson, Gil Eplan-Frankel, and Tom Fish.

(Trigger warning: Porcelain contains a scene depicting rape. Please be advised.)

About Out Front Theatre Company Out Front Theatre Company was established to tell stories of the LGBTQIA+ experience and community, giving voice to LGBTQIA+ authors, composers, artists, and creators through the medium of theatre and the performing arts. Out Front develops new works and produces classic pieces of theatre that have communicated these stories of the LGBTQIA+ population to a broader audience over time.

The What, When, and Where What: Porcelain When: February 7 through 23 (select dates) Where: Out Front Theatre Company 999 Brady Ave NW, Atlanta, GA 30318 More info and tickets at outfronttheatre.com Box Office: (404) 448-2755, boxoffice@outfronttheatre.com 8 | 02.06.19

Changing the Conversation About Sexual Health Georgia was recently identified as having some of the highest rates of sexually transmitted diseases, so the need to get tested regularly is more important now than ever before. Peach spoke to Laureli Litke, Community Outreach Manager and official relationship expert of STDcheck.com, about stigmas around sexual health and the importance of getting tested regularly.

Tell us a little bit about the services provided by STDcheck.com?

STDcheck.com is all about destigmatizing and normalizing the conversation around sexual health. We are a direct-to-consumer lab testing company. Customers can easily pay for an STD test online, visit the lab closest to them, be tested, receive results within 1-2 business days, and view their results in their online customer portal.

Can you give us a short update on the STD situation in Atlanta right now? What should our readers be extra cautious about?

A recent CDC study has identified Georgia as a state with some of the highest STD rates across the nation. The most common STDs in Atlanta are Syphilis, Gonorrhea, and Chlamydia. While our doctors recommended that everyone have a comprehensive STD checkup each year, these three most common STDs are the ones that you should definitely be testing for.

How do you think that getting tested for STDs will affect our conversation about sexual health?

Getting tested for STDs regularly normalizes it! It’s just like a dental check-up. Nobody judges you for having a cavity here and there, but you still need to have a dentist look at your teeth pretty regularly. When you test with us, it’s a very no-nonsense process. No one sits you down and asks you intrusive questions about your sexual activity. You simply provide a blood sample and a urine sample, and you are given results a few days later in an online portal. If you test positive, you are eligible for an over the phone consultation with one of our physicians, who will then be able to discuss treatment options with you. We keep the process pretty simple because that’s how simple STDs should be.

There are still many stigmas surrounding sexual health – which ones are typical (for the LGBTQ community)?

I think that there is a stigma around sexual health because some still assume that they don’t need to be

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tested if they are generally clean and well-groomed people. The truth is, STDs can happen to anyone, regardless of how clean they are. It’s not so much a matter of hygiene, but safe sex, open communication, and regular testing.

How do you specifically support the LGBTQ community through your work?

Quite a few of our blog posts over on our blog Exposed are geared towards the LGBTQ community and overall sexual positivity. We’ve additionally been taking steps to donate to resource centers for the LGBTQ community. If you are aware of an LGBTQ friendly resource center that is in need of donations, have them contact STDcheck.com

In many cases, you offer free STD testing right now – how does that work?

Through funding of our non-profit division, we are able to offer free HIV testing to college students. We partner with colleges and universities to create individualized pages for schools in need of free HIV testing. These pages give the students information about testing centers located near their school, why they should be tested, and how to obtain free testing. If you are a college student that would like to submit your school for free HIV testing, visit stdcheck.com to learn more.

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More than Pretty Gowns and Winnings Crowns

By Mikkel Hyldebrandt

Tell us a little bit about how you became a female impersonator and pageant queen I am Quentin L Reynolds, and I have been performing and competing as Aria B. Cassadine for just over eight years. I’m a full-time showgirl at Lips Atlanta where I can be seen any night of the week singing and entertaining. I am an Atlanta native and a graduate of Tri-Cities High School and Visual and Performing Arts Program.Female impersonation started as a dare for me.

My best friend at the time came up with the idea that I should do a pageant before I went to college, and thus Aria was born! I’ve been fortunate to have been mentored by some of Atlanta’s finest in female impersonators like Envy Van Michaels, Alexandria Martin, Celeste Holmes, Tahjee Iman, but the most influential was my drag mother and friend, the late Tanisha Cassadine. While I have won and placed in my share of pageants, I am most proud of my most recent accomplishment of earning the title as Miss Gay Black America 2018!

Tell us a little bit about the background for the Miss Black America pageant?

It is not who we are that make us a Symbol of Excellence; it is what we do and have done. Black America Pageantry System was born in 1979-80 with the intent to provide the black gay community with a vehicle to be recognized nationally within the

Female impersonation started as a dare for Quentin L. Reynolds, and now eight years later he performs as Aria B. Cassadine at Lips Atlanta. Aria was also crowned Miss Gay Black America 2018, and we talked to the talented showgirl about the history of the pageant, and why it is still so important in today’s society.

competitive world of Female Impersonation. Our Founder Miss Erica Terrell saw a need for our Black community to learn excellence through fair competition and service. Our very first queen was Miss Teri Livingston who also became a co-owner from 1980-89.

In 1989-1990, through the vision of Mr. Tommy Hill, a new opportunity was created for Male Lead entertainers who did not want to pursue Female Impersonation, thus birthing the first gay black National Pageant for Male Leads – Mr. Black America. The Legendary Delvis Stevens was the first to capture and wear the crown of Mr. Black America and currently resides in Atlanta, GA and he will join the annual celebration held in March.

Mr. and Miss Black America was united under one umbrella in 1999. Al Milan Dupree and Stasha Sanchez were the first crowned couple. Keeping with that same spirit of inclusiveness and diversity, Mr. Ron Dupree created a new division for plus-sized female impersonators in 1995, and we call it Miss Black America Plus today.

Stacy Smith along with Brian Hayes and Gerald Stevens created Mr. and Miss Black America Newcomer in 1996 with the goal to teach and inspire a younger generation of gay youth about the FFI and male lead industry – the franchise is now owned and operated as a sole proprietor under Mr. Stacy Smith. Through the vision of Bennie Mosley and Christopher Higgins, we are excited to launch Black America Jr And Jr Miss. It is our goal through this franchise to mentor young entertainers concerning the total business of the artform on and off stage.

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Black America Pageantry still thrives today as the 1st and oldest Black National Pageant for Black Gay Female Impersonators.

Celebrating the 40th anniversary this year, what progressive milestones has Miss Black America achieved in those years?

At MBA, we strongly encourage participants and winning courts to give back to our communities. We truly believe that a reign without service is simply a “title.”

We were the first system to implement Community Service as a Platform. We were the first system to become involved in the political fabric; speaking before Congress on the effects of HIV within the Black LGBTQ community. The first system to actively initiate and partner with State and local HIV prevention and treatment social programs. One of our stand out performers would be Tina Devor; because of her accomplishments, she was honored by the city of Atlanta, and March 17th was declared Tina Devor Day for her service as Miss Black America.

What’s a challenge the pageantry system faces?

Being Miss Black America is a business, and just like any other business you’re faced with difficulties or issues. One constant issue would be the pressure to set ourselves apart from the long line of other systems! But we pride ourselves on being the first and laying the foundation for so many other black funded, organized, and run pageantry systems!

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Social Media has also allowed us pageant to reach international status. We consistently hear from people all over the country and even the world about the talents of our Kings and Queens.

In the light of February being Black History Month, how do you see the need for a pageant like Miss Black America?

Pageantry is an extension of society. With that being said, with the adversities that African-American, as well as many other minorities, are facing, we must continue this work! It’s more than pretty gowns and winning crowns. It’s the idea that though one may be met with impossible odds success is a possibility! I often think of my work as Miss Black America as a consistent way to give back. So as long as there is a need to inspire, there is a need for MBA.

Tell us about upcoming projects, next pageant?

I would like to personally invite all of Peach’s readers to our annual celebration. March 15, 16, and 17 we will be celebrating our 40th Anniversary in Atlanta at the Ramada on Capital Ave! As for myself, I have some ideas as to where I’ll be going next, but I’d rather surprise you guys. Stay tuned to see what comes next!

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Every Day Is Halloween (In Trump World)

By Gregg Shapiro *The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinion or position of Peach.

Under the care of Dr. Sartain (Haluk Bilginer), in a locked ward at Smith’s Grove rehab facility, “pure evil” notorious masked killer Michael Myers, who hasn’t uttered a word in 40 years, is about to be transferred to a different facility. Taking full advantage of the interest of investigative podcasters Aaron (Jefferson Hall) and Dana (Rhian Rees), who rev him up by showing him his famous mask, Michael silently plans his escape.

Meanwhile, Laurie (Curtis) lives in isolation in the Illinois countryside in a heavily barricaded house wired with CCTV cameras, bright lights and other security features.

Aaron and Dana offer to pay Laurie $3,000 if she’ll allow them to enter her inner sanctum. Once inside, Laurie tells them there are “no new insights or discoveries” to learn about Meyers. A self-described “basket case”, Laurie is taken aback when Aaron references her two failed marriages and the rocky relationship, she has with daughter Karen (Judy Greer). Adding insult to injury, Laurie is particularly high strung as Myers is being transferred to a new facility where he is to be locked away until the end of his days shortly before Halloween, no less.

That morning, across town, Karen and Ray (Toby Huss) are looking forward to attending daughter Allyson’s (Andi Matichak) National Honor Society induction later in the evening. Allyson is disappointed that Laurie won’t be joining them. She’s busy with target practice, cleaning her guns and securing her house.

At school that day, we see Allyson interacting with friends Vicky (Virginia Gardner), Dave (Miles Robbins), Oscar (Drew Scheid) and her boyfriend Cameron (Dylan Arnold), as they discuss their plans for the Halloween party. Laurie also surprises Allyson at school, giving her the $3k from the journalists. It turns out that she and Laurie have a secret relationship, unbeknownst to Allyson’s parents.

It wouldn’t be Halloween without Michael Myers on the loose. After the bus transporting him and other in-mates crashes, he a free maniac on the prowl in Haddonfield on Halloween 40 years after the babysitter murders. The

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Forty years after John Carpenter redefined the slasher film with the original “Halloween”, that movie’s lead character Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) returns to take cake of someunfinished business in the 2018 version of “Halloween” (Universal/Blumhouse), the 11th in the series, now available on Blu-ray + DVD + Digital.

Photo: Universal Pictures

lone survivor of the crash is Dr. Sartain, who insisted on accompanying his prize patient. Myers’ first victims include a boy named Lumpy and his father, gas station attendants, podcasters Dana and Aaron, and a couple of random women.

Officer Hawkins (Will Patton), who has his own history with Myers gets the call about the crash and begins his pursuit of Myers. When Laurie hears about the prison bus crash on the news, she goes into full survivalist mode.

She even breaks into Karen and Ray’s house to prove how unsafe it is; but they want nothing to do with her.

The night of the Halloween party, Vicky is babysitting for Julian (scene stealer Jibrail Nantambu) and awaiting the arrival of Dave. Allyson is at the school party with Cameron, but things go south when she catches him kissing another girl. During their disagreement, Cameron throws Allyson’s phone into the punchbowl and she storms away.

The scene is set for chaos. Vicky is babysitting, and we all know how Myers feels about babysitters. Allyson is without a phone and essentially cut off from what is taking place. Laurie has convinced Karen and Ray they aren’t safe and has them in her house when she battens down the hatches. And the body count is rapidly rising, setting the stage for the ultimate showdown, when we realize that Laurie’s house, which was once considered a cage by Karen, was really a trap set for Myers all along.

If Trump’s first two full years in office haven’t scared you enough, then this latest iteration of “Halloween” should do the trick.

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Let’s Have a Keke Disney-turned-Pimp star reflects on coming out, talks blurring gender lines and what James Dean and Dolly Parton taught her

By Chris Azzopardi

Keke Palmer is not a girl, not yet – oh wait, she is a woman. It happened so fast, but here we are: With her squeaky-clean Nickelodeon and Disney Channel days behind her, Palmer disappears into her latest roughand-buff turn as the eponymous lesbian street hustler anchoring the Lee Daniels-produced drama Pimp. Hair pulled back into a mohawk-shaped waterfall of braids and buzzed on both sides whilst presenting a chiseled physique and altogether hard aesthetic, there’s nary a trace of Palmer, Child Star.

Palmer’s work after her breakout role as 11-year-old Akeelah Anderson in the 2006 drama Akeelah and the Bee has epitomized the makings of a precocious multi-hyphenate: beyond her film career, which also includes 2012’s Joyful Noise, the 25-year-old Illinois native starred on TV’s Scream Queens, a Ryan Murphy production, and can currently be seen on the Epix spy drama Berlin Station; her theater roles include the televised Grease: Live and Broadway’s Rodgers + Hammerstein’s Cinderella as Cinderella herself (she was the first actor of color to play the role in this particular production of the princess classic); she has one proper studio album, her 2007 debut So Cool, and another on the way; and in 2017, she wrote a book, I Don’t Belong to You: Quiet the Noise and Find Your Voice, documenting her journey thus far.

In 2015, Palmer came out as sexually fluid in the video for her song “I Don’t Belong to You.” In the clip, she’s seen in bed with a man but ends up at the house of a woman, played by fellow singer Cassie. Here, Palmer reflects on the LGBTQ community’s reaction to her coming out and discusses embracing her masc energy, what James Dean taught her about sexuality, normalizing queer black characters and an irksome double standard in the bisexual community.

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Keke, one thing is for sure: Pimp is not an episode of Nickelodeon’s True Jackson.

(Laughs) Oh my gosh, it’s definitely a total different project and different tone. I just felt like I was really stepping outside myself, that’s for sure.

Was that intentional? Were you craving something grittier?

Step outside myself, for sure. I started developing this project right after True Jackson, like a year after kind of doing the same thing. I think TV naturally can be a little bit repetitive, and when you’re doing a children’s network, it can really only go so far (with) subjects and content matter and what you can talk about. So, for me, I was really just looking for something that would allow me a challenge as an actor.

Was playing someone who’s a lesbian a draw?

I can’t say her sexuality itself was a draw, but what you’re saying (was).

I like the character as a whole. I liked everything about her. I think what attracted me to her the most was her strength.

This kind of character being a lead character and being female is not what we see often, so that’s what attracted me the most.

Just that she was tough, and she was cool, and I didn’t really think too much about who she slept with, although I was delighted by the love story between her and her girlfriend. But I just saw it simply as a love story as opposed to a gay love story and a dynamic between women that we haven’t seen in that kind of way. It wasn’t oversexualized, and I really loved the way that her sexuality was displayed in the film.

It wasn’t exploited.

And by depicting her sexuality in a matter-of-fact way, it helps to normalize it.

Somebody might say she’s a quote-unquote “stud” or she’s not a femme – there’s a lot of language that’s used in the community. Having said that, Wednesday has both.

That’s what I love about Wednesday, and I really tried to make that apparent. Wednesday is masculine and feminine. She has elements of both, and she and her girlfriend share those positions with each other, so I feel like it’s the same way in all relationships whether you’re same sex or not. And again, that’s what I loved about the film: We weren’t just doing something that’s stereotypical; we weren’t just giving you this hard-up, one-note (character) and she’s just flat – no, she’s a human.

Was her gender fluidity written in the script?

I think her being tough was a part of the script, but the nuances brought to it, that was definitely me. Just because myself, I have elements of high masculinity just as much as I have elements of high femininity, and in Wednesday, I really got to explore those elements in myself a lot more.

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I enjoyed that because I think women are strong, and though Wednesday is a lesbian, I don’t think masculinity defines your sexuality. I think that’s you as person.

Can you give me an example of how you feel you’ve embraced your masculinity?

I can’t say I can think of one where it’s glaringly obvious, but I think in general I don’t ever choose what people would expect me to say or how people would expect me to respond to anything as a woman or as a black person or as anybody in general. As a person I don’t feel like I fit into many boxes of identity.

How do you hope this movie speaks to queer black women?

Man, I just think it allows opportunity to get more knowledge in accepting one another. I don’t think the black community has been as hard on lesbian women as much as they’ve been on homosexual men. But one of my cousins is just like Wednesday, and so I think for us it really just more so maybe can take the light off the fact that this is a gay person, and more so this is a person and really wrap ourselves into this specific person’s world, not a gay person but this person that’s not just defined solely by these aspects of her life. Really just give this character a human opportunity to stand on her own. Because like I said, a lot of times with these characters, they’re just supporting roles, they’re not the lead, they’re not someone you would feel for; they’re most likely someone you get to judge and they’re kind of a spectacle. So that’s what I love about this movie: We’re normalizing something that has been around and has been normal for years, but now we’re just giving it the opportunity to breathe and the light to shine.

Did being a child star ever stifle your sexuality?

Mmm… I don’t think that it stifled my sexuality. I think other things stifled my sexuality, like my idea of who I had to be or what type of young woman I was, how people viewed me. Honestly, I never felt stifled by – I think I felt maybe confused by it at a certain time, but just as confused as I would’ve been in general with understanding my feelings with dating and all that kind of stuff. But I allowed my journey to be my own and, like I said, I grew up in a community of people where many of my friends were also gay or they were fluid and we didn’t really put different things on ourselves in terms of our sexual identity. We was just kind of like, “You know, I’m going on a date with so-and-so, I’m doing this.” It wasn’t seen as anything more than just us being ourselves. And maybe that’s the millennial way. Maybe I got born in the prefect generation.

Yeah, I got on the wrong boat. I got on the one before you.

(Laughs) I’m telling you: These millennials are accepting.

I read something as a teen that was telling me how James Dean was sexually fluid and that was the first time I had ever seen or heard that term. I thought it was really cool that it was a male who was open and being honest about something like that in that era.

I remember when I saw that I really loved it because I think often, I feel like it’s much harder for males to have that idea than it is for women. People assume when a man dates another man, he can’t date another woman, and I’ve had many friends and many relationships with people who I felt like that was a really big crutch for them in being OK with their own identity because the reality was, they weren’t in the closet, they weren’t hiding. They did like men, but they did like women. And the unfortunate thing about it was that a lot of women couldn’t accept that (he was with men), so when I saw that I remember seeing that thing with James Dean and I really loved it because I’m like, “What’s the problem if a guy likes both?”

What kind of attention did “I Don’t Belong to You” get you from queer women? Were more slipping into your DMs? (Laughs) Yeah, sure! I think a lot of people were kind of like, “Oh, I knew it,” or something like this. And that’s always funny. I think if anything would be quote-unquote “obvious” it would just be my openness as a human being. I truly believe sexuality is a spectrum. I believe you’re meant to find love wherever it finds you, so if it happens to find you (with) the same sex, what a travesty it would be that you denied it because you’ve been walking around your life the whole 10 years being a heterosexual. I think that’s what I also loved about Pimp. It isn’t about the label. She found love in this little girl and they found protection in each other as children, so I mean, that’s where they found love. It’s not about what their label is, it’s about the fact that they found love. And I feel like people should stop trying to make everybody fit into a box and just let people live their life. Define themselves the way they choose.

I don’t even really have a question, but I just need to acknowledge that, with Joyful Noise, you worked with Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah in the same movie.

Man, I was so happy that I got to do that, OK?! Because it was just so cool. I love Queen Latifah – that was my third

acting project with her. And working with Dolly Parton was just so, so special and awesome because she’s such a sweet, sweet woman and she would bring us fudge bars on set.

Homemade fudge bars?

Homemade fudge bars. And I would be so scared on set when I had to do my kissing scene and she would just be there to comfort me. I’ve always been a quote-unquote “tomboy” and also into girly stuff, but I’ve always felt more comfortable in more comfortable clothes – in sportswear, I always felt more comfortable, chill like that – and I remember asking her, “How are you beautiful like this every day? How can you do this?” She said, “I just made a choice when I was younger, and I wanted to be that way, so I get up every day, and I make sure that it’s the way that I’m presented.” I remember just thinking that was so amazing, and that was kind of my first lesson in “we are what we repeatedly do.” That was something she wanted to be a part of who she was – we know Dolly Parton as being fabulous 24/7, and it’s not an easy thing to do, so I really just loved that about her. I loved learning about her during that production. I would love to be like that.

Do you see yourself as a role model for queer black girls?

That’s such a hard one. I can’t tell someone what to see me as, but there are certain things that I feel could be communicated better in the world and so I use my platform for that. When I did my song “I Don’t Belong to You” I talked about that a lot. I talked also about gender fluidity, that you as a woman aren’t defined by A, B, C and D, that you as a man aren’t defined by A, B, C and D. I speak a lot on being a black female, being a female, being a millennial; if any of those things attract somebody to say, “I like what she says, she’s a role model to me,” then of course that’s cool. But I don’t try to think too much about being a role model as much as I think about being myself and speaking on the issues that are important to me.

As editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter (@chrisazzopardi).

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Bradley is new to Atlanta, he lives in midtown and works in talent acquisition for a hospital system. He is originally from Alabama and moved to the city this past year from Fort Lauderdale. He enjoys traveling, working out, attending concerts, and spending time with friends and his dog. He also has an appreciation for terrible Dad jokes, and he believes that life is too short to live the same day twice, so he’s always happy to try something new – especially of the experience involves food!

Bradley Bonds @bondsaiiÂ

30 | 02.06.19

If it Don’t Fit, Don’t Force It!

By Jamie Kirk

Jamie Kirk works for a software company and is a certified spinning instructor. He also enjoys yoga, swimming, bicycling and running. He aspires to start a blog about what we put in our bodies not only fuels our body but our mind and spirit as well. Follow Jamie on IG @tysonsdad

Ummmm, first off, get your mind out of the gutter.

What I am referring to is making dating work for you and not making you work for dating. The ability to control who you date, how you date, when you date and where you date and what you date - needs to be on your terms.

Who you date

Where you date

This component of dating needs to be driven by your gut and your instincts. Don’t be so concerned if the person has dated someone you know, how many entries they have when you did your google search if they still have up their Tinder profile. The person you end up dating should be given a clean slate, without any pre-conceived notions and no history to rely on for future reference.

Make the “who” you date someone that gives you butterflies, not someone that you have already prejudged based on their history; you have voluntarily been exposed too.

Long distance, around the corner, on vacation, are all acceptable places to find romance. Don’t let someone try and convince you that driving across town is too much, dating someone in another country is too far or dating someone that lives in the same condo is too close for comfort. You have to determine that wherever they are, you both are putting in the effort and the work necessary for the relationship to the sustainable and fruitful for both parties. The where is so unimportant, it’s all about the effort.

How you date This area of dating should be on your terms. If you are comfortable paying or not paying. If you are comfortable with sleeping together on the first date. If you are comfortable not kissing until you know their last name, fine.

How you date should kinda sorta just be around what works for you, quickly, slowly, or long and drawn out for the signal that this could-be-the-one. Dating should not be filled with the pressure of expectations of the last romance or what you read about in magazines; dating should be easy breezy and not complicated by limits and disappointments of what you thought the dating scenario would be like.

When you date Dating should not be on a timeline. When you date should be predicated on when you feel the timing is right, not around how much time has passed. Some folks meet someone the next day after being in a long-term relationship, and some folks meet someone five years later. Neither is right or wrong. Once you have done the work, learned the lessons and removed yourself from the previous relationship, the right person will come along. I am a HUGE advocate of helping fate. When it is time to date, create your profile, let your friends know, slide into DM’s of folks you think are hot and interesting. When you are ready, nothing will stop you, the barriers and excuses will suddenly disappear.

32 | 02.06.19

What you date Bisexuality and fluidity are sooooo in right now. Being able to love any gender you want is freedom in its purest form. Dating a type of person or a specific gender is constricting. Choose the person that makes you laugh and makes you smile and gives you goosebumps, not someone that fits into the mold that you have dated all your life. What you date is not just around the physical or gender assignments. The what could be someone that is HIV positive, someone that has a disability, someone that is abusing drugs or alcohol. What you date should be someone that you are attracted too, not someone that your friends would approve of or someone that you feel is what others would choose for you.

Honestly, once you have mastered each of the above areas, dating on your terms will come very naturally. Dating is hard and complicated and challenging and trying and expensive and disappointing and frustrating. But dating is also rewarding, fun, uplifting, easy, peaceful and can often provide you with company that supports your goals and aspirations. And remember this: after all is said is done, after all the boxes are checked, the dating resume is considered, the friends have approved, and you have had unbelievable sex, there must be butterflies, there should always be butterflies.

All Greek to Me

By Jeff Fuller

In the fall of 1993, I left suburban Cleveland to start college at Davidson, a small liberal arts college in North Carolina. Having been a bookish, studious-type in high school, I chose to attend an academically oriented institution where I hoped to be among fellow nerds who were curious about the world. After having a hard time fitting in during my teenage years, I was hoping to find a place where I would have an active social life and close friendships that I never really found in high school.

My freshman year, I bonded with the guys on my freshman hall and generally felt accepted by them.

Davidson was a Greek-oriented school and most of my friends wanted to join one of the fraternities on campus, especially one of them in particular. I had hoped to do the same, but I started realizing that things were not working out for me when I didn’t get invited to social functions from that fraternity. As rush was ending, I knew I wasn’t going to get a bid to join.

Unfortunately, I knew that most of the friends I made in my first year would drift away from me once they became involved as pledges. Feeling excluded and not really understanding why, I felt depressed and alone.

My sophomore year, I lived on the same hall as some guys in FIJI (Phi Gamma Delta), one of the other fraternities that the guys on my freshman hall would refer to as the “nerd fraternity,” kind of like the Lambdas in Revenge of the Nerds. FIJI was the only off-campus fraternity with much fewer members than the on-campus fraternities. However, because their house was off campus, they had a bit more freedom.

For example, at parties, they served hard liquor rather than beer. The FIJI brothers were diverse, unique and independent-minded. I became fast friends with the FIJIs on my sophomore hall and eventually the fraternity invited me to join. Finally finding my tribe, I embraced the fact that I was different and stopped caring so much about what other people thought of 34 | 02.06.19

me or the group of guys I was going to spend my social life with, at least to some extent.

While I was able to embrace my inner nerd, I still had a hard time embracing who I was completely.

Even at a nurturing, relatively open-minded place like Davidson, it was not a time or a place where it was common or accepted to be openly gay. Among my FIJI brothers were quite a few closet cases like me.

But even though we belonged to an independentminded fraternity, we dared not speak of our sexuality openly. Looking back on it, I think we expressed our sexuality in subtle, subversive ways. Our parties had the gayest themes ever: Strawberry Fields (where we served strawberry daquiris), a Rave party (where we played some of the best mid-90s dance music), and Erotica (advertised with Madonna posters). There may have been several guys within the fraternity that I could have talked to about my secret desires, but I was too afraid. I wasn’t ready to accept it for myself.

After graduating from college, it would take me four more years to really start accepting the fact that I was gay. Nevertheless, I think that being part of the “alternative” fraternity helped me feel more comfortable in my own skin and begin to care less about what others thought of me. Having friends that accept you for who you are is empowering.

Last year, I attended Charlotte Pride and saw 30 or 40 Davidson students marching in the parade, including members of fraternities. I realize that the younger generation of gay college students has its own set of challenges, but I am glad these students live in an era with greater visibility, acceptance and freedom for self-discovery.

Apart from being a Gay Generation-Xer, Jeff Fuller is an attorney, writer, travel blogger, historian, and military spouse.

Originally from Cleveland, Ohio, Jeff went to college, graduate school and law school in the Southeast. He has called Atlanta home for the last decade, interrupted by a few periods of extended travel abroad to places like Brazil and Berlin. He occasionally blogs at journeyingjeff.com.

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peachATL.com | 35

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Thank You, Atlanta!

Over

3,000 Toys

donated from this year’s event!

We want…

...to hear your feedback! ...you to apply to our all-volunteer board! ...you to volunteer at our next event!

Email us at Support@forthekid.org or find us online: forthekidatl

Feb 6 – Feb 13

Something to Dye For: T-Shirt Dyeing with HOMO

Neonblk: Happy Black History Month

Wednesday, February 6, 6:30-8:30 pm

Wednesday, February 6, 11 pm

Miami Ad School @ Portfolio Center

Mary’s

Experience the talents of amazing queer black Join the workshop with HOMO to get your gloved hands performers at this special Black History Month edition of wet with the dyeing process and walk away with your Neonblk. Starring ChaChi Monique, Dotte Com, Evangeline Laveau, IV Fischer, Taylor Alxndr, and Thin own creatively crafted t-shirt.

Mint.

STAFF PICK!

The Other Show The Other Show returns (again) to their new Midtown Moon home. Come out to the premiere of the new show starring the incomparable talents Edie Cheezburger, Jaye Lish, Taejah Thomas, Molly Rimswell and Orchid.

Friday, February 8, 9-11pm Midtown Moon

HRC Atlanta Beach Bowl

PALS Stupid Cupid Bingo

Join HRC Atlanta for their 22nd annual bowling for equal- Join PALS Atlanta for their Valentine’s edition of their ity event. Get ready for palm trees, tiki drinks, and the popular, monthly bingo night that will be filled with shinbeachiest soundtrack you’ve ever heard! Trophies will be ing love that isn’t necessarily bright… given to the best bowler, best group costume and more. Tuesday, February 12, 7:30-9:30 pm Tickets ($30-180) at act.hrc.org.

Saturday, February 9, 12-5 pm Midtown Bowl 38 | 02.06.19

LIPS Atlanta

PANTHERS FOR POSITIVE IMPACT AT THE EAGLE PHOTOS: Andrea Dwyer

40 | 02.06.19

NEW PLAYERS WANTED

SUNDAY FEBRUARY 10TH 2-6PM INFO AT hsl.join@gmail.com hotlantasoftball.org

D-BAT PERIMETER 3039 AMWILER RD #130 ATLANTA, GA 30360

peachATL.com | 41

MIDTOWN 1

Monroe Dr. NE

14

Amsterdam Ave.

NE ve . tA

Piedmont Park

on

11

dm

6 12th St. NE

18

Pi e

Juniper St. NE

14th St. NE

7

9

2

10th St. NE

10

. NE

19

oe Dr

e. NE Piedmont Av

Juniper St . NE

Peachtree St. NE

3

Monr

Charles Allen Dr. NE

12 W. Peachtree St. NW

15

16

4th St. NE

8

13

BARS Amsterdam Blake's Bulldogs Friends The Model T My Sister’s Room Ten Atlanta

5

Dining 502 Amsterdam Ave NE 227 10th St NE 893 Peachtree St NE 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 66 12th St NE 990 Piedmont Ave NE

9 10 11 12

10 th & Piedmont Campagnolo Einstein's F.R.O.G.S

clubs 13 Atlanta Eagle

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

14 Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE

spa/bath 15 Flex Spa

42 | 02.06.19

991 Piedmont Ave NE 980 Piedmont Ave NE 1077 Juniper St NE 931 Monroe Cir NE

fitness

retail 8 Barking Leather

4

Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Ponce De Leon Pl. NE

Spring St. NW

17

76 4th St. NW

16 17 18 19

G’s Midtown Henry’s Joe's on Juniper La Hacienda

219 10th St NE 132 10th St NE 1049 Juniper St NE 900 Monroe Dr NE

billards/Darts drag dancers leather non-smoking area Patio

When the world throws you Let be your savedandgay.com

Cheshire 23

ansley 21

37

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Rd

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Piedmont Park BARS 2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1086 Alco St NE 1931 Piedmont Cir NE 2425 Piedmont Rd NE 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd

32 33 34 35 36

Midtown Moon Felix's The Hideaway Mixx Oscar's

805 Lambert Dr. NE, Suite A 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1739 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2201 Faulkner Rd NE

Spa / bath 2103 Faulkner Rd NE 2135 Liddell Drive NE

1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 1544 Piedmont Ave NE 1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

Dining 37 Cowtippers 38 Eclectic Bistro

Fitness 30 Gravitee Fitness

NE

.

clubs 28 Heretic 29 Tokyo Valentino

e. nt mo ed

39 38

Retail 26 Barking Leather 27 Southern Nights

41

Pi

28 20

Dining 24 Las Margaritas 25 Roxx

Av

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E

Ches

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.

25

BJ Roosters Opus 1 Tripps Woof's

31 Manifest 4 U 42 The Den

35

24

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Dr

Rd

BARS 20 21 22 23

40

32

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36

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dm

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31 er

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29

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27

33

. NE

Manchester St. NE

Piedmont Rd. NE

22

42 L

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34

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26

BL

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30

Lambert Dr.

PU

St.

.

A l co

1600 Piedmont Ave NE 1425 Piedmont Ave NE

Retail 39 Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE 40 Brushstrokes/Pleasures 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

Fitness 41 Equilibrium Fitness

1529 Piedmont Ave, Suite L

NOT SHOWN

Mary's Sister Louisa’s Church Swinging Richards Lips Atlanta

1287 Glenwood Ave SE 466 Edgewood Ave SE 1400 Northside Dr NW 3011 Buford Hwy NE

peachATL.com | 43

A snapshot of Gay Atlanta’s favorite destinations. View their ads in Peach ATL & visit their websites for weekly event listings.

Bars & Clubs

EAST ATLANTA, GRANT PARK & EDGEWOOD

Retail

MIDTOWN

MARY’S

MIDTOWN

amsterdamatlanta.com

1287 Glenwood Ave SE

AMSTERDAM

502 Amsterdam Ave. NE

ATLANTA EAGLE

marysatlanta.com

SISTER LOUISA’S CHURCH

BARKING LEATHER AFTER DARK barkingleather.com

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

sisterlouisaschurch.com

CHESHIRE

SWINGING RICHARDS

BARKING LEATHER

1400 Northside Dr NW

805 Lambert Dr NE

BULLDOGS

Dining

2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

FRIENDS NEIGHBORHOOD BAR

MIDTOWN

736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

10thandpiedmont.com

atlantaeagle.com

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

BLAKE’S ON THE PARK

blakesontheparkatlanta.com 227 10th St NE

893 Peachtree St NE

friendsonponce-atl.com

466 Edgewood Ave SE

swingingrichards.com

10TH & PIEDMONT

MODEL T

991 Piedmont Ave NE

699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

einsteinsatlanta.com

modeltatlanta.com

EINSTEIN’S

MY SISTER’S ROOM

1077 Juniper St NE

66 12th St NE

frogsmidtown.com

mysistersroom.com

TEN ATLANTA

tenatlanta.com

990 Piedmont Ave NE

CHESHIRE

SOUTHERN NIGHTS VIDEO

ANSLEY BOY NEXT DOOR MENSWEAR boynextdoormenswear.com 1447 Piedmont Ave NE

GCB & PLEASURES

brushstrokesatlanta.com 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE

FROGS CANTINA

Fitness

931 Monroe Dr

MIDTOWN

G’S

gsmidtown.com 219 10th St NE

HERETIC

HENRY’S

2069 Cheshire Bridge Road

132 10th St NE

BJ ROOSTERS

JOE’S ON JUNIPER

hereticatlanta.com

barkingleather.com

henrysatl.com

URBAN BODY FITNESS urbanbodyfitness.com

500 Amsterdam Ave NE

CHESHIRE GRAVITEE FITNESS graviteeatl.com

bjroosters.com

joesonjuniper.com

2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

1049 Juniper St NE

OPUS 1

LA HACIENDA

Spas/Baths/Adult

900 Monroe Dr NE

MIDTOWN

1931 Piedmont Circle N

CHESHIRE

FLEX SPA

WOOFS

LAS MARGARITAS

76 4th St NW

2425 Piedmont Road NE

1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

CHESHIRE

ANSLEY

ROXX

MANIFEST 4U

MIDTOWN MOON

1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

1492 Piedmont Ave NE

ANSLEY

FELIX’S

COWTIPPERS

1086 Alco St NE

TRIPPS

woofsatlanta.com

1510 Piedmont Ave NE

lahaciendamidtown.com

lasmargaritasmidtown.com

cowtippersatlanta.com

THE HIDEAWAY

1600 Piedmont Ave NE

1544 Piedmont Ave NE

DEKALB

MIXX

LIPS ATLANTA

1492 Piedmont Ave NE

3011 Buford Hwy NE

mixxatlanta.com

OSCAR’S

oscarsatlanta.com

1510 Piedmont Ave NE

44 | 02.06.19

atldragshow.com

2201 Faulkner Rd NE

flexspas.com

manifest4u.org

2103 Faulkner Rd NE

THE DEN

thedenatlanta.com

2135 Liddell Drive NE

Georgia Body Works.com Mobile Fitness and Massage “I come to you, so let’s get started!”

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10 FACTS ABOUT BLACK HISTORY MONTH LEARN THESE BUT EDUCATE YOURSELF FURTHER ALSO

Black History Month was initiated in 1926

It is the celebration of African history and people

February was chosen to coincide with Frederick Douglass’s and Abraham Lincoln’s birthdays

Black History Month is also observed in Canada, the United Kingdom, and Germany

It received federal recognition in 1976

by President Gerald Ford

Founder Carter G. Woodson wanted to end the celebration as not to limit African-American history to one month

Founded by Carter G. Woodson, African-American historian, scholar, educator, and publisher

Several critics echo this sentiment saying black history is American history

Black History Month began as “Negro History Week”

46 | 02.06.19

The fact that the Black History Month is still celebrated underlines the need for the advancement of continued social change

WE'RE HIRING WE ARE SEEKING Motivated, Hard-Working, Innovative People to be Our Next Superstar Ad Sales Representatives.

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Get the details on these and other great upcoming events on our website calendar.

We’re closer to Atlanta than you think!

1/2 price rates thru Feb!

Feb 2: Hot Lips Camp Crawl Feb 15-16: Valentines Weekend Celebration Volunteer Camp Cleanup - Photo Shoot Mar 1 -3: Flashback - The 60s, 70s, 80s Party Coming May 31- Jun 2: Sordid Lives Weekend with Del Shores Performing!

peachATL.com | 47

Text your Peach Pits to 540-30-PEACH, or e-mail mikkel@PeachATL.com

Me: He left me – he’s gone…

Him: Sorry, to hear it

A clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings and still isn’t as sensitive as most people on the Internet!

Me: He took some pictures and artwork

Him: Things will get better, don’t worry about it

Me: He also took my Nintendo Switch

Him: Ok, let’s go kill the bitch!

As I grow older, I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake

Dad Joke Alert!

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any.

Asking for a friend: how do you politely ask someone that you want them naked and on top of you?

48 | 02.06.19

I suck at cuddling – after like 15 minutes, I’m going to touch your private parts

With snow in the forecast they should put out two different advisories: one for when it’s time to get bread and when it’s time to raid the liquor store.

CANCER (JUN. 21 - JUL. 22) Your domestic side will step to the fore today as thoughts turn to home and family. Give Mom a call and tell her you miss her apple pie. Or plan to entertain your other family. A dinner party, perhaps? What better way to show off your talents with marzipan!

LEO (JUL. 23 - AUG. 22) Things may appear very black and white today, and your famous stubborn streak may prevent you from seeing the forest for the trees. Drop your headstrong impulses and think outside of the box. You’ll find it’s easier than you think.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 - FEB. 18)

VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEP. 22)

You’re brimming with innovative ideas today, but a perception of being aloof keeps people from taking you seriously. Stick to your guns, but keep your ideas rooted in reality. Remember, some of history’s great ideas sprang from the minds of people others called eccentric, like fellow water bearers Benjamin Franklin, Louis Pasteur and Isaac Asimov.

‘I’m not a perfectionist, I’m picky.’ Right. Don’t be so analytical in your personal dealings today.

There’s no such thing as the perfect anything. Understand that and you’ll be surprised at how far you can get.

PISCES (FEB. 19 - MAR. 20)

LIBRA (SEP. 23 - OCT. 22)

Your quest for spiritual peace is evident today, and people will respond to your quiet yet intuitive demeanor. You will touch many people deeply, and not just with your hands. But don’t travel that inner journey alone. A candlelit dinner with someone you feel close to will really bring out you inner beauty.

Sudden problems with others will force you to question once trusted relationships, and you may have trouble telling the bitches from the benign.

Turn to the companionship of real friends to help you deal with the frenemies. You know who they are.

ARIES (MAR. 21 - APR. 19)

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 - NOV. 21)

You may be called on to get things started with your crew today, so put your natural leadership abilities to good use. Others will be quick to take your lead, but be careful of how you rally your troops. You’ll have better results by killing them with kindness. Be a leader, not a slave driver.

A power struggle with forces that perceive themselves stronger than you has got your quills up.

Avoid the temptation to go on the attack -- that’s what they want. Keep yourself open for compromise, but don’t back down. Standing your ground will tip the outcome in your favor.

TAURUS (APR. 20 - MAY 20)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 - DEC. 21)

Your self-indulgent side may stop by today, so be the perfect host by catering to its (nearly) every whim. Get a massage, eat some chocolate, buy yourself something pretty, go on a date. If you can’t pamper yourself, whom can you pamper?

It’s a great day to focus on new projects -creative, domestic and otherwise. Give them your all today, focusing on the minutiae that others would overlook. Your ability to map out the details now will make whatever you take on a success in the future.

GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUN. 20)

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 - JAN. 19)

Minding your business will be a full time job today as people misuse your keen ability to listen by bombarding you with gossip, innuendo and secrets you’d rather not know. Don’t give in to your inner busybody -- keep it to yourself.

You tend to get caught up in the humdrum duties of life -- working, house chores, going to the gym.

Today, shed your sense of responsibility and dive into the heady world of romance. After all, why spend time organizing your bedroom when you’re bound to mess it up tonight?

50 | 02.06.19

By Mikkel Hyldebrandt Trouble in the love department? With sex?

Or just people in general? Send us your queries, questions, and problems, and you’ll get answers served straight up and with a little ice.

E

very year, I do the same: I make all these resolutions about exercising more, eating better, and just being an overall better person. This year, I included a resolution about not hooking up with that many guys and seeking quality over quantity. But as with every year, my resolutions don’t last for long, and I end up hating myself for not being able to keep these promises to myself. So far, I’m doing great on the exercise and diet portion, but I have had so much casual sex already. I feel like I let myself down.

How can I make changes that will last?

I

’ve dated this guy for about a year, and the sex is great, but we always use a condom. I’ve asked him about barebacking, but he says he’s not ready for that step. We both get regular checkups, we don’t sleep with anyone else, but he doesn’t want to do it. He’s about ten years older than me, so that might have something to do with it, but I can’t help but think that he somehow thinks that I can’t be trusted. Why doesn’t he want to do it? How can I change his mind?

Sincerely Bare Intentions

Sincerely Resolutionary Dear Bare Intentions Dear Resolutionary So many of us roll into the new year with a list of resolutions and that “new year, new me” mindset. Never mind that the list of resolutions is the same as last year, now is the time for “new YOU!” And just as many end up letting those resolutions down and return to our old habits feeling defeated. But here’s the thing, a resolution is nothing but a decision made in a mindful moment, and that’s it. If you think of it, it’s more like a quick fix to a larger overall process in your life, and that doesn’t come as easy as making a resolution – and that’s why so many resolutions are unfulfilled! Goals, on the other hand, are much more concrete and they are not tied a particular time of year like a new year’s resolution. When it comes to your wish to hook up less and have more meaningful connections, you may want to start with examining why you end up with casual hookups. If you start thinking of this as a process and not something to merely spring into effect because of a resolution, then you may learn to shift your focus onto self-discipline and selfawareness. There’s no way around the fact that significant self-change requires motivation and work, but that work also leads to confidence and self-improvement.

Barebacking certainly is trending right now, and with the occurrence of a drug like PrEP, it is only gaining in strength. If you want to change his mind on the matter, start by learning why he doesn’t want to do it. Even though you have been together a year, he may be unsure about your sexual history, which goes beyond getting a doctor checkup. Considering that he is older than you, he may have deep-rooted fears from a time when contracting HIV was a death sentence.

Maybe it’s because you met through a hookup app (are you still on it?), or perhaps he has had previous relationships with untrustworthy partners, so he is hesitant for that level of intimacy with you. Regardless, you need to talk to him about this, and then you need to prove to him that you can be trusted either by being exclusive with him or being very careful and safe with others. Getting tested is always a good first step, considering PrEP could be another, and building that trust and confidence in the relationship is the way forward.

NEED ANSWERS? REACH OUT TO US, AND YOU WILL GET THEM! SEND YOUR BURNING QUESTIONS TO OUR EDITOR AT MIKKEL@PEACHATL.COM.

52 | 02.06.19

JUNE 2019 NYCPRIDE.ORG/2019

PRODUCED BY

H O S T PA R T N E R

WORLDPRIDE LICENSOR

H O S T PA R T N E R