O-Scopes
Aries:
You’ve had some more time the past few weeks focusing on your priorities like work/school. But all work and no play tend to make Aries a very cranky little baby. Maybe it’s time to have a “you” day, that way you can relax and reset. So, whether it’s beating your masturbation record (12 times in one day is nuts) or making voodoo dolls out of your neighbors you can’t stand, make sure it’s something you truly enjoy. Even the Mighty Aries needs some time to just breathe.
Taurus:
Your love language is touch. So, when you’re feeling a little neglected, some attention can truly go a long way. Whether it’s your lover putting their hand on your leg, your boo thang giving you a forehead kiss or your DOM fisting you all the way to their elbow making your guts sing in delight. Make sure you communicate what you need to your significant other. They need you to use that mouth of yours for other things besides just swallowing the loads on loads on loads you love to fill your tum -um up with.
Gemini:
You’re always so happy and adventurous. People like being around you because you’re kind of a vibe. You find joy in making your person happy. Whether it’s folding the laundry, taking their car to get some gas, or sitting on their face so hard that you borderline turning their face into a whoopy cushion. You find happiness by other people’s happiness.
Cancer:
Sexy time with Cancers is definitely a jog, not a sprint. They love the chase of dating/talking to someone new. Cancers enjoy roleplaying. So, whether your Cat woman and I’m Batman or we dress up like Teletubbies, we are going to have fun and pop the hell off! Just make sure you have enough time to devote to this sexy lover. It’ll be the best Edging Experience (physically & mentally) ever!
Leo:
Leo’s get turned on by knowing that someone is into them. It’s very much like a romance novel, a tall handsome swash bugling someone rescuing a sweet innocent thing from some scary big bad. Leo’s like to be seen, so get ready for some public fucking (malls/jungle gyms/post offices/parking structures). If there’s a chance to be seen or get caught, it really gets their juices flowing.
Virgo:
Virgo’s love to please their person and is always doing nice gestures to make their person’s day a little bit better. Picking up the dry cleaning, taking your car to get washed, dressing up as a furry and letting you nut all over every imaginable area of this outfit (cum doesn’t wash out of furry outfits easily). Virgo’s pain tolerance is pretty impressive. They like to be choked, smacked, hit with a car, you haven’t really found that safe word yet (blueberry), but you’re going to keep searching!
Libra:
Punk rock Libra is all about the Benjamin’s baby. You love to hustle and make that money, hunny. People are attracted to your drive and hustle. So, whether it’s ubering, waiting tables after the ubering, donating sperm after the waiting tables or seeing if you truly need both kidneys to function, people respect your grind. Just watch out when you sleepover after a night of fun. You may wake up missing a body part.
Scorpio:
Ah Scorpios, or what I like to call them Sultans of Seduction. Everything they say and do is sexy. Putting on their coat, waving goodbye to me from the front door, driving off in my car and never speaking to me ever again... It is a love hate relationship with Scorpios and their lover. They love to love them but hate that they are constantly getting screwed over by them (yes, the good kind of screwing, but also the bad kind as well).
Sagittarius:
One of the most intelligent of all of the zodiac signs. People tend to fawn over that big, thick, giant, meaty brain of yours, girl (always thinking about dick... Knock it off!). You enjoy a vigorous discussion with someone on the opposite side of the isle. But once you’ve had enough of their voice, you’re ready to find out what that mouth do (sexy time). Keep flexing that big brain of yours and we’ll give you something else to do with that head of yours (sit on it)!
Capricorn:
Old reliable Capricorn is just like that one porn you tend to go back to after 2 hours of searching for something new (I don’t know why you think that little people mime xxx videos are uploaded often, you’re always wrong!). Being dependable isn’t a bad thing. You know what to expect. It is overall good. And out of nowhere sometimes they’ll surprise you with a thumb in your Batcave or a long drive that turns into an oral adventure on the side of the freeway. Old reliable, nah. More like Most Defiable.
Aquarius:
The mediator of the group. You hate when people are upset, and you always want people to get along. But sis, c’mon, you’re killing the vibe of this 15-person orgy. They don’t hate each other; they just talk firmly because they’re from Jersey. You don’t have to always be the grown up and solve everyone’s problems. Do something else with that mouth of you instead of just mediate (talking about a blowie). Don’t lose yourself, but in all seriousness, you don’t have to fix everything.
Pisces:
You love that summer time mid life cruise. Because that’s basically where you live your life. You’re in-between jobs, in-between living arrangements, and getting in-between several married couples again because you tend to end up looking at the wrong person(s). Your charming personality tends to get you in fun situations, they just are sometimes not always the best situations.
Follow us for details about our upcoming 2025 sports leagues! PROMOTING COMMUNITY &
Follow us for details about our upcoming 2025 sports leagues!
PROMOTING COMMUNITY & PHILANTHROPY THROUGH LGBTQ+ SPORTS LEAGUES
f u t u r e g e n e r a t i o n s .
W
U N I T E D , W E S L A Y !
I N G A Y W E T R U S T !
Taylor Little Development Associate
How long have you been with Affirmations?
Over 1 year
What is Affirmations to you?
It'saplace offeringsanction to those who need it Home to a variety of care services for the well-being and protection of LGBTQ+ individuals
What type of creative outlet do you have and what has come of it that you are most proud of?
I studied ballet in Detroit and performed in two of our annual concerts
What is your favorite breakfast food?
SouthernsmotheredpotatoesorquickMiddle Eastern breakfasts
What’s something you want everyone to know about Affirmations?
Our Programs Department issuperbandconstantlyputting together really cool things Please stay up-to-date with them, join, or see how you can support!
Brent only meant to pre-game the frat party not black out halfway through their third cup of neon jungle juice that tastes like sadness and Skittles. Somehow, he ended up grinding on Alex, the hot biology major with hazel eyes and “emotionally unavailable” energy. One thing led to another, and suddenly they were in the upstairs bathroom, lights off, clothes half-on, making out like a CW pilot.
Just as things got a little spicy, someone screamed from the hallway: “DO NOT USE THAT TOILET! IT’S BEEN CURSED SINCE SPRING FLING!”
Wouldn't that have been good to know prior to coming to the party? Too late. The toilet had already flushed itself. Then gurgled. Then water literally exploded, soaking them both in questionable frat water and a little glitter (where'd that come from?).
Alex blinked “Was that body glitter? Or mold?”
Brent just said, “I think it’s both,” and they ran out half-naked, slipping on beer pong cups and stumbling by people on the way down the stairs to leave.
Later, while walking back to campus, dripping and mortified, Brent muttered, “Wanna finish this at my place?” Alex grinned. “Only if your plumbing works.”
FERNDALE’S PREMIER LGBTQ WEDDING VENUE
Have your next event with us!
130,000 VIEWS MONTHLY 40+ DISTRIBUTION SPACES
SUPPORTING LOCAL LGBTQ+ BUSINESSES SINCE 1979
METRO DETROIT | GRAND RAPIDS | ANN ARBOR |
| TOLEDO | FLINT | SAUGATUCK | KALAMAZOO & MORE