Metra Issue 965 - MAY 2023

Prom ReDeux

Prom but make it queer

Affirmations invites you to the prom of your queer dreams! Bring yourself, your friends, and your partner(s) to an incredible party!

Music, prom pics, dancing, food, spiked punch, and tarot readings are all part of the fun.

Date:

Time: At:

Tickets on sale now!

Saturday, June 24 8 pm - 12 am

Affirmations, 290 W 9 Mile Rd, Ferndale

It’s a Tuesday night, you’re on Grindr. Things are getting hot and heavy; you’ve sent some naughty messages about what you’re going to do to each other, he’s sent you a few mighty fine D pics. “Do you host or travel?” It’s getting the point where you’re about to find a sleezy motel or empty parking lot to do your business. He then asks “u clean?”

Queue the sound of a downed fighter jet. What does that mean? I showered and brushed my teeth. And I always wash my hands. I’m definitely clean. Of course that’s not what he means. He wants to know if you’re carrying anything transmittable. Having

been undetectable now for nearly a decade, that’s a tough one to answer, or is it? Undetectable means un-transmittable; so by that definition, I’m clean.

Encounters like this, while uncomfortable, give us an opportunity to educate. Answering “yes, I’m clean” isn’t exactly a lie, you really are unable to transmit anything. Or you can be truthful and say “yes, I’m undetectable” (if in fact you are; always know your status!). As a community, let’s get away from using words like “clean” when referring to our STI status. It implies that those who are positive are dirty, and that is far from the truth!

BAR HIGHLIGHT

Located on North Saginaw Street in Pontiac since 1930, Liberty Bar has grown and evolved into a favorite for many in the LGBTQ+ community over the years. What makes Liberty stand out from the rest of the crowd is its warm, flexible space that welcomes all. From the full service kitchen, to their distinctive back patio, people of all races, sex, gender identity and age can feel at home with Liberty.

Since becoming an “official” gay bar some 32 years ago, Liberty has promoted love and acceptance everyday with their friendly staff and wonderful service. From their annual “Mr. Liberty” and “Mrs. Liberty” contest to their “Mr. and Ms. Hauntiac” competition, Liberty has a little of what everyone is looking for.

“While Liberty is very much a LBGTQ+ space, I like to think of it as everyone’s ‘neighborhood bar’” said owner Brett Nicholson. “This space is very flexible.” Nicholson, one of the few LBGTQ+ bar owners who is gay himself, stressed the importance of community and safety at his bar. “We want everyone to feel welcome here at Liberty.” Being the furthest north full time LGBTQ+ bar in Metro Detroit, Liberty welcomes guests from all across the state.

If you haven’t been to Liberty lately, you’re really missing out. This fun and cozy bar sort of gives you that “Cheers” feeling, except much more friendly, and much more gay… and everybody still knows your name!

It was my first shift working in the bar/ club world. The bar owner begrudgingly hired me because he just had someone walk-off and I positioned it as, “See how it goes, if I suck, tell me to never come back.” That was enough to win him over and I started that evening. I came back a few hours later, ready for training. About an hour into my shift, I was told that someone else called in, so I’d be waiting tables and bartending the outside bar. As I’m serving a drink, out of the corner of my eye, I see my high school swim coach.

I finish with my customer and go over to say hi, to discover he is on a date, with my high school assistant coach. What was so scandalous, is that the Asst Coach was only 2-3 years older than I was at the time (I just turned 18). The head coach was well into his mid-40’s. I started to quietly walk

backwards back to my post, but it was too late. The Assistant Coach saw me, all the color went away from his bronzed ken face and he looked like his pukka shell necklace (it was 2005, it was all the rage). I saw both of them now staring at me.

They always thought I was younger than what I was, so they looked like they thought I was still in high school (but also working at a gay bar?). They both jumped over the waist high emergency exit gate to make a fast break away. It gave me such a chuckle, because there was always a rumor about them, it was just now confirmed by my eyes. Even though I wasn’t in high school anymore, my brothers were both still in high school. I called my brother the next day to make sure he said that I said hello and I’m looking forward to going to the next “meet the staff” meeting at the high school. Surprisingly, I never saw them again. And that trial shift for the night lasted almost 4 years, it really is difficult to find good help.

Most sex toy roundups talk about sex toys for men, women, and couples (with the couple’s portion being greatly focused on heterosexual partners).! How can solo play/masturbation help members of the LGBTQ+ community explore their own sexual needs and what works for them? How might it play a role in growing their own sexual confidence/comfort, particularly if they are new to exploring their sexuality?

Self-pleasuring serves many functions for folks of all genders and orientations. Each of us is truly unique in how our bodies like to be touched, what we need both psychologically and physically to become aroused and enjoy sexual sensations and orgasm. No two people have the same responses to nipple play and genital stimulation of all kinds. Solo play gives everyone the opportunity to explore this landscape without the expectations of a partner or pressure to perform.

The way to approach sex toys is to start with the bodies that will be using them. What kind of touch does each person like, and where? Are there erotic scenarios that they want to enact that will be enhanced by toys? Does the person want penetration of any of their holes (some trans men prefer to refer to their vagina as the front hole and their anus as the back hole)? If so, do they want that penetration to happen with fingers, a dildo (dildos are toys intended for penetration and a sensation of filling but may not

to have their partner wear the dildo on their hips or thigh, or do they want to ride a dildo with a suction cup that is put on a chair, the shower wall, a table and then their partner either watches or adds stimulation to their other erogenous zones at the same time?  If the person wants to penetrate a partner, in what ways do they find that to be erotic, in alignment with their gender identity and orientation? Strap-ons worn on the hips may be a good choice for a partner who wants to wear a dildo and penetrate a partner who enjoys that, regardless of gender or which orifice(s) desire penetration.

If the person has a penis one can use a vibrating ring around the shaft or shaft and testicles, or there are vibrators that a partner can hold in their hand to stimulate the whole structure, with or without an erection. If the person is trans-feminine they may have a different name for this structure; a friend of mine calls it her ladybird. These toys make perfect choices for those who enjoy their “ladybird” being stimulated during partner play and who may not get erections because of gender-affirming hormone therapy.

Nerve endings have no gender or orientation. Any sex shop that trains their staff to be inclusive of all genders and orientations will be able to help choose toys that work for each person, regardless of how they identify in regard to gender or orientation.

Joe Kort, Ph.D., LMSW

SATURDAY'S: BOYZ NIGHT OUT

UNDERWEAR CONTEST

Around Town

Bars,

Camp Grounds

IMPORTANT FACTS FOR BIKTARVY®

This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment. (bik-TAR-vee)

MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT BIKTARVY

BIKTARVY may cause serious side e ects, including:

 Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. Your healthcare provider will test you for HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop taking BIKTARVY. Do not stop taking BIKTARVY without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months, and may give you HBV medicine.

ABOUT BIKTARVY

BIKTARVY is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults and children who weigh at least 55 pounds. It can either be used in people who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, or people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare provider determines they meet certain requirements.

BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. HIV-1 is the virus that causes AIDS.

Do NOT take BIKTARVY if you also take a medicine that contains:

 dofetilide

 rifampin

 any other medicines to treat HIV-1

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF BIKTARVY

BIKTARVY may cause serious side e ects, including:

 Those in the “Most Important Information About BIKTARVY” section.

 Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that may have been hidden in your body.

Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking BIKTARVY.

 Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys. If you develop new or worse kidney problems, they may tell you to stop taking BIKTARVY.

 Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat.

 Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain.

 The most common side e ects of BIKTARVY in clinical studies were diarrhea (6%), nausea (6%), and headache (5%).

These are not all the possible side e ects of BIKTARVY. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking BIKTARVY.

You are encouraged to report negative side e ects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.FDA.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with BIKTARVY.

Continued on next page.

Please see Important Facts, including important warnings, continued on the next page and at BIKTARVY.com

Meet a few of the extraordinary people who take BIKTARVY. Watch their stories at BIKTARVY.com

IMPORTANT FACTS FOR BIKTARVY® (cont’d)

BEFORE TAKING BIKTARVY

Tell your healthcare provider if you:

 Have or have had any kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis infection.

 Have any other health problems.

 Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if BIKTARVY can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking BIKTARVY.

 Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take:

 Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-the-counter medicines, antacids, laxatives, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist.

 BIKTARVY and other medicines may a ect each other. Ask your healthcare provider and pharmacist about medicines that interact with BIKTARVY, and ask if it is safe to take BIKTARVY with all your other medicines.

HOW TO TAKE BIKTARVY

Take BIKTARVY 1 time each day with or without food.

GET MORE INFORMATION

 This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more.

 Go to BIKTARVY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5

 If you need help paying for your medicine, visit BIKTARVY.com for program information.

Featured patients compensated by Gilead.

DIMITRI

ZACH NIKKI CHAD HUGO D’EVA

BIKTARVY, the BIKTARVY Logo, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, GSI, KEEP ASPIRING, and LOVE WHAT’S INSIDE are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. Version

February

©

Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. US-BVYC-0088

Hey henny!

Let’s talk about real estate, shall we? It’s time to spill the tea on this snatched industry! Real estate is all about finding your dream home, and yas queen, there’s nothing more satisfying than finding the perfect pad! Whether you’re looking for a cozy little bungalow or a glamorous mansion, the Michigan real estate market has got you covered. But let’s be real, buying a house can be a major gag. From the down payment to closing costs, it can feel like you’re about to break the bank. But don’t worry, boo! There are plenty of lenders out there who will work with you to get that mortgage you deserve. And once you’re in your new digs, it’s time to werk! Whether you’re throwing a fabulous housewarming party or just living your best life, you’ll be the envy of all your friends. And let’s not forget about the potential for some major real estate investments. With the right moves, you could be a real estate mogul in no time, making bank and living your best life. So, there you have it, hunty! Don’t get overwhelmed! It may seem like a lot of work, but with the right attitude and a little bit of know-how, you can slay the game and live your best life in your fabulous new home.

One last thing Queen, if you’re a first-time home buyer, don’t forget that owning your own home can be the key to unlocking your financial freedom and it’s way more attainable than you might think. It’s time to switch up your mindset and get into the real estate game, hunty! And don’t you worry, I’ve got your back! Check out and follow my TikTok, @realtorkory, to get all the deets on buying your first home and connecting with me for all your real estate needs, gurl!

-Kory Lambarth

Hook-up from hell Hook-up from hell Hook-up from hell

“I was hooking up with this guy and as we’re doing the deed, I decided I wasn’t into it anymore, so we went to sleep. I later woke up to him PUKING ON ME. I got up and said ‘you need to leave.’ I desperately wanted to shower but I didn’t want him to join me so I sat and waited, covered in vomit, until he left. He ended up costing me $150 in laundry because my dresser drawers had been open and everything in them got covered. I also ended up getting a yeast infection, and I’m pretty sure sitting covered in his vomit for like 30 minutes had something to do with it.”

Affirmations Spotlight

How long have you been with Affirmations? A little over a month.

What is Affirmations to you? Affirmations is a place where people can come to connect, be safe, and be themselves. It's a place where I feel comfortable in being who I am!

When you’re not working, what do you do for fun? I love spending time with my wife and family. I love camping, being outdoors, and playing with our two children.

What top three travel destinations are on your bucket list? I would love to visit Greece, Ireland, and Scotland. Anywhere where my family might be from!

Jen Veiga, Behavioral Health Administrative Assistant

What’s something you're proud of at Affirmations? I'm proud to be part of a community that is so inclusive and accepting. Being in a space around people who really do want the best for you and are willing to help has helped me grow even in such a short time. I'm so excited to learn, grow here, help others live out their truth!

CELEBRATE 35 YEARS WITH US!

Aries: You find yourself dealing with asses and what ones are important to you. Avoid being the victim, instead be the penetrator. Avoid conflicts by not batting for any team. The more you be you the better it goes. Switch it up from top to bottom. Keep making him curl his toes! Show him that special thing you do.

Taurus: Life is so Serious around you. Jump into some fun get a way despite the weather may be. The leftover magic of Spring is making your brown eye pucker. Sometimes slow and steady is better than rough and smut. But if you can combine them then you got something.

Gemini: You have that mind on overload. The Snacks that await to sit on your face is so tempting. You might create a list. This is not no bucket list. This is a To Do List! Motivate yourself to do better and you will. Finish with a good note vs having blue balls this summer. You’re pushing people away and you should be gaging them up.

Cancer: Work Family might help you with that Raging boner that has been on your mind. Don’t Slow down when times seem to a bit too complicated. Long- and Shortterm relationships are like glitter. Everywhere and hard to get rid of. Stick to what both heads say, your cock will show the way. Go to favorite places and enter Pre–Summer Nostalgia.

Leo: Get your grove back! Use helping others to help you. The power of communication will unlock the current cravings and desires. The Thrill of getting caught, in the moment and the sex is so hot. Is it worth it? Jog in the rain? Yes, do things you wouldn’t think of. The outcomes are so rewarding. It could help a relationshit to heal or expose one.

Virgo: Self Love is One thing to focus on to help with the outside world. Confine in those who undo your pants. Go outside of box and it will be a hot mess but in a good way. This would be a great time to book a Gay Cruise to relax and have a FuckFest with Besties! Even Camping would be fun now that the weather is starting to get better.

Libra: Save Coin now for Pride later. Be the Sugar Daddy/Baby that you need to be. It will be so worth it in the long run. Save even longer and travel to a different state. People will travel for just sex if it is good enough. Be as loud as you want to be. Someone will be listening to your voice. This month is all about choices and self-control.

Scorpio: How things were in the past is not how things are now. Beef up, Let the body hair go, or do something new like a tattoo. A Pity fuck is just as important as breakup sex. Time to work on improvements on your social life with the 3 Kings of Happiness, SmokeKing, DrinKing &

FucKing!

Sagittarius: You may not be the biggest, smartest, hung, affectionate or the have all the money but you got that charm with the personality. There is always someone better just like there is always someone who is worse. Life is making you drool over the things you want. So, look for the best in yourself and others to make this month work.

Capricorn: Time for all Pool & Boat Daddies to come out of retirement. Show the younger generations how we did it and still do. Time for the younger generations to show they can keep up. To all in the in between, It is your job to stock the ice and keep everyone full and entertained and seduced to stay.

Aquarius: You’re Feeling Like you’re not giving it your all, but you are. Life is like Cock Blocking you. Make a difference in someone’s life that deserves it. Spending it on a gamble is ability to lose. Watch out for hidden messages life will tell you to be at the right moment at the right time like fate.

Pisces: Remember your Momma bear or Drag Mother this month. Make the best of any situation. The turn out to anything social would be better than you expected. Buy a new toy or go shopping. Look for a smiling face in one of the stores. It is about making Memories & Stretching out that hole.