March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 1
2
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 3
4
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 5
6
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 7
8
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 9
10
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 11
AZ GAY Rodeo
CORONA RANCH
SEE MORE GREAT PICTURES AT IONAZ.COM March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 13
14
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 15
SUPER BOWL PARTY
ROSCOE’S ON 7TH
SEE MORE GREAT PICTURES AT IONAZ.COM 17
www.IONAZ.com February 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 17
3819 North 3rd Street Suite 26, Phoenix, AZ 85012 (602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com ionarizona@me.com Publisher / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero ............................................ jacktesorero@me.com
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw ..................................................... kbushaw@me.com Editor Deon Brown ................................................... ionazeditor@me.com COPY EDITOR .......................................................... Austin Head GRAPHIC DESIGNER ......................................... Angel Jimenez SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR ..................... Stacey Jay Cavaliere PRODUCTION & Artwork SUBMISSIONS
ionazproduction@me.com Advertising Sales Karrington Valenzuela ............................................... (480) 760-3073 Shane Martos ............................................................ (206) 769-3845 Danny Catt, Regional Sales Director ......................... (520) 429-5905
ionazsales@me.com
ADVERTISING CONSULTANT Bill Knoop ................................................................. (602) 301-8457
Photographers:
Fernando Hernandez Danny Catt Sean Kapera
Paul Reitz Scotty Kirby Franklin Diaz
National Advertising Representative Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863
DRAG SHOWS • MEN OF STRUT • GOGO BOYS UNDERWEAR NIGHT • SHOW TUNES • KARAOKE
Always something going on...
ContributORS:
Wes Bergman Stacey Jay Cavaliere Addison DeWitt Jackson David Kelly C. Edwards
Published monthly by
For the latest Events, Show Times, and Drink Specials visit
icepicsvideobar.com facebook.com/icepics
2-4-1 HAPPY HOUR
4:00-8:00pm EVERY DAY on almost EVERYTHING!
$4
MARTINIS 10:00AM8:00 PM
602-267-8707
3108 E. McDowell Rd. @ 31st St. 18
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
Ted Kirby Albert Rivas Kim Ruff Paul Sanchez Miss Tiger
1995-2013: 18 Years of Design and Creative Excellence © 2014 JMT Designs, Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
PRINTED IN PHOENIX, AZ
All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee. NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 19
I
Here We Go Again!
f you read ION and follow our community, you know last month was crazy busy. Lots of big events, very serious political drama and exciting announcements. AGRA host another successful rodeo last month, the Phoenix Metropolitan Men’s Choir put on another spectacular evening with “Blush and Bashful” benefiting Mulligan’s Manor, and One n Ten blew away last year’s “Fresh Brunch” totals by raising over $250,000. Congratulations! Check out all the great party cams for each of these events inside ION. Then, the Arizona legislators fast-tracked the discriminatory and hateful SB 1062 that made international news. Thank God, Governor Jan Brewer did the right thing and vetoed this bill. To Governor Brewer and our hardworking community and citizens who fought against this, thank you. We are grateful. At ION, we never rest. We’ve been working on the annual Absolut Sexiest Bartender contest with an exciting photoshoot starring the contestants, and the scorching hot photo feature, “Pump It Up” as we get ready to storm Bar1 for their annual “Heel Party” on Saturday night, March 22. For Splash Bash, the official Phoenix Pride Kick-off Party on Friday on April 4, Helix
20
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
Studios will be our title sponsor. Check out HelixStudios.com because their sexy models will be coming to strut their stuff. Plus, we’re also bringing in the sizzling hot, international circuit DJ and adult film star aptly named DJ Pornstar. See what he has to say in his interview on page 38. If you have ever been to Splash Bash before, you know that you’re guaranteed a good time with lots of fun, sexy people. What happens after Splash Bash is up to you. Right? This issue has so many great events and features that we added 32 pages— again! Check out the fascinating world of male escort and porn star Christopher Daniels. We spoke to him about his hold-no-punches book, Money’s on the Dresser. We’ll see you at the Absolut Sexiest Bartender contest on March 23 at Apollo’s Lounge, Splash Bash on April 4 as we get ready for the biggest Phoenix Pride ever! Thank you for supporting us and your community. Our state is a better place because of you.
Jack Tesorero, Publisher
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 21
22
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 23
BLUSH & BASHFUL
T HE RIT Z CARLTON
SEE MORE GREAT PICTURES AT IONAZ.COM
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 25
26
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 27
28
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
FRESH BRUNCH
BILT MORE RESORT
SEE MORE GREAT PICTURES AT IONAZ.COM March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 29
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 31
RODEO AFTER-PARTY
CHARLIE’S
SEE MORE GREAT PICTURES AT IONAZ.COM 32
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 33
Roscoe’s Chili Cook Off Chili today ... hot tamale! Want to try the best, rootin’-tootin’ (heavy on the tootin’!) chili recipes on this side of the Rio Grande? Head over to Roscoe’s on Saturday, March 8 at 11 a.m. and sample local homemade chili with a variety of recipes. Who has the best? This benefits the hot jocks at Cactus Cities Softball League. Pre-sale tix are available at Roscoe’s, 4531 N. 7th St. in Phoenix. Phone: 602-285-0833 See ad p. 16
Los Olivos 25th Anniversary Everybody’s favorites—Coletta, Jovel and the hardworking gang at Los Olivos Hand Car Wash—have cleaned up Yugos to Jaguars and everything in between for 25 years now. They’ll be celebrating March 17-21 with gift certificates, snacks from El Nuevo Taco, Honeybear’s Barbecue, Copper Star Coffee. Celebrities! Grab bags! Price Rollbacks to 1989! Spin the Wheel! Hurry, because supplies are limited. 232 E. McDowell Rd. at 3rd St. in Phoenix. Phone: 602-258-2822. See ad on p. 23 LosOlivosHandCarWash.com
Eight’s Check, Plea
Festival at City
Sunday, March 30
and discover the best restaurants and meet Apollo’s Bar withTasteBenefits This time, you’re the critic! Meet th Weekend
an upcoming Apollo’s is the place to be on on March for 22-23 when theyseason of Ch pull all the stops out for a weekend of fun benefiting the Yarnell Firefighter Family Fund. Watch the Employee Turnabout Show on Saturday, at 9:30 p.m., when the staff transforms into the Spice Girls! Sunday, it’s the Absolut Vodka Sexiest Bartender Contest hosted by Desirée de Mornay. The fun starts at 2 p.m. with the contest at 4 p.m. 5749 N. 7th St. 602-277-9373. See ad on p. 2 Exclusive James Beard Award Winners Robert McGrath, Christopher Gro
Check Please! Arizona It’s a Foodie Festival! Sample chefs’ top dishes and discover the best restaurants from your favorite episodes of Eight’s “Check Please! Arizona” on Arizona PBS. Experience cuisine from 30 independently owned restaurants featured on the hit show along with local wine and craft beer. The gastronomical celebration is on Sunday, March 30, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at CityScape, downtown Phoenix. For more info and tix AZPBS.org/checkplease See ad on p.56 34
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
Fe
Splash Bash & Phoenix Pride Phoenix Pride starts with a Splash! At Splash Bash, that is! It’s Splashy, Bashy (and a little bit trashy!) Friday, April 4 at the Wyndham Gardens (see ad. 4). Saturday we’ll see you bright and early for the Phoenix Pride Parade on 3rd Street. Celebrate your pride at the Phoenix Pride Festival at Steele Indian School Park, Indian School Road and Central Ave. Saturday & Sunday, April 4-6 (see ad pp. 36-37)
March 2014 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE
1 2 Fridays 4 7 8 8 12 14-16 15 15 15-17 17 17-21 21 21-22 21-23 22 22 22-23 26 26 29-30 30 thru 30
APRIL
4 4 5 5-6
EVENT
Empress Ball Bus Crawl Begins @ Stacy’s Moda Provocateur Tucson Convention Ctr Zumba Fridays AQUA Mardi Gras Karamba Mr. Charlie’s Contest Charlie’s Masquerade Ball Karamba Chili Cook Off Roscoe’s Stand Up Comedy Night Apollo’s Voices of the Desert Phx Ctr. for the Arts The Brides of March Party Kobalt Imperial Court PR Ball Bunkhouse St. Patrick’s Day Weekend Roscoe’s St. Patrick’s Day Party Karamba Los Olivos Car Wash Anniversary Black Out Party The Rock White Party Dick’s Cabaret IBT’s Street Fair Showcase IBT’s Imperial Court: Wingman’s Ball Rainbow Cactus Heel Party Bar1 Bar with Benefits Weekend Apollo’s Wine Tasting Party Kobalt Cher Party Kobalt Hairspray - Phx Men’s Chorus Phx Ctr. for the Arts PBS Eight Check Please! CityScape Renaissance Festival near Gold Canyon
LOCATION
Phoenix Tucson Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Tucson Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix
CITY
Splash Bash! Bearracuda Pride Party Pride Parade & Festival
Wyndham Gardens The Rock Karamba Steele Park
Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 35
36
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 37
Where Will You Dine? THURSDAY, APRIL 24, 2014 Dining Out for Life is a one-day international event created to bring the community together in the fight against HIV and AIDS where local restaurants agree to donate a portion of the proceeds.
diningoutforlifeaz.org DOFLinPHX
HOSTED BY
38
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
PRESENTED BY
SPONSORED IN PART BY
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 39
Beat Match and Beat Off with Dominic Pacifico at
by Deon Brown 40
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
D
ominic Pacifico began two careers in 1998 when he was just 18-yearsold: porn star and DJ. Since then he’s been picked as the “Number 1 DJ in LA” by Reverbnation. com, ranks among the “Top 5 Sexiest and Coolest DJs” by Noize Magazine and Queerty.com. Not to mention his sizzling work in front of the camera in adult films. He’s dropped hot ‘n’ heavy beats in London, Central America, Australia, Canada, China and at the Gay Games.
Break out the tanning lotion (and the Gun Oil) because DJ Pornstar is spinning at Splash Bash! narrowly edged out a gig in Beijing. “People are scrambling for the summer season,” Dominic said. “It’s a battle between cities. I’ve always wanted to play in Phoenix.” It’s been a charmed life for Dominic and DJ Pornstar. “It’s been such a blessing for me to be able to live a lifestyle that didn’t really know existed. I kind of invented a career in the gay market that no one really knew what do with. Now the most popular DJs are treated more like pop stars than DJs,” he said. “I have two different fan bases. Being a DJ and a porn star is a lot. I wear two hats. Most DJs only have to show up and play the music. I’m the kind of March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 41
DJ who’s shaking hands and hugging people, taking pictures talking while playing music.” What’s the recipe for a great pool party? “The circuity, tribal, house doesn’t work. I go 100% Tea Dance,” Dominic plans. “It’s gonna be a lot of bright, happy synth. Summery, happy afternoon rhythms and some really, really positive vocals, whether it’s pop music, diva—everything is gonna be 3 p.m.-- not 3 a.m. I just did a nighttime pool party in Whistler, Canada, and we did the exact same thing and it was fun. Bright and happy is definitely what I go for.” There’s no autoplay or premixes with DJ Pornstar. “I’ve never been the kind of DJ to sit and put a set together specifically for one event. Even if I pull a handful of tracks that I know that I’m going to play, one or two just don’t fit the mold,” he explains. “The venue, the people, the reaction is something that I take into consideration. Always. I’ll play a certain song that fits the moment.” As a worldwide DJ, does he spin differently in other countries, say, with lots of Kylie in Australia? “That’s a really good question. You don’t find that it’s al that Kylie Minogue-heavy in Australia. It’s like if an Australian DJ came here and started playing all Mylie Cyrus you’d ask, ‘Why are you doing that?’ You don’t want to feel like they’re dumbing down anything for you,” he believes. “One of the first things I noticed when I first played with a lot of international DJs was ‘who played what.’” 42
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
Music styles vary around the world. Spinning in China is unique. “A lot of the music there is Tech/House; there aren’t many words. They don’t have a sense for different countries or their music. But I didn’t stray from the music I play,” he remembers. “I threw on some Katy Perry and they gay boys ran up to the stage, ripped their shirts off and were singing at the top of their lungs,” Dominic laughed. They want that. They want to feel like their reaching a part of Los Angeles or Vegas. It’s so far away for them. To give them a little taste what we do over here, they really appreciate it.” DJ Pornstar is filling a niche for himself. “RuPaul called, wanting a song for an album of all her hits—I’m doing a remix of ‘Cover Girl.’ I’ve also written some songs for the girls on her show. I just did a track for Mel B of the Spice Girls for her EP ‘Pack.’ I’m writing a song for Maya, too. “I’m still doing my own production, vocals and I want to start working on music videos. That’s what the commercial, ‘straight world’ DJs are doing,” he noticed. “None of the gay DJs do that. The best way to reach someone is through social media, people want to see a little video.” He figured, “If I’m gonna produce a track, I should produce a video to go along with that. It might be a little more ‘inspirational’ for people to see. Rather than just a picture or seeing me in a porno, they can get a different sense of my personality seeing me as a DJ—not just as a porn star.” Although we love that side, too.
“For my first video I’m working with one of Rihanna’s directors. He directed a commercial I wrote for Gun Oil. It aired on Valentine’s Day on Bavo, E!, Logo and the Here! channel. It’s a love story about a gay soldier coming home. It had about 300,000 hits on YouTube.” So. What exactly will DJ Pornstar wear to Splash Bash? “My outfit? Uhmm ... I don’t think I’ll be wearing much,” he hinted. “I mean, it’s an afternoon pool party. I’m an Andrew Christian underwear model and I’ll definitely be bringing Andrew Christian stuff to giveaway to everyone in the crowd! I’ve got some really cute pink underwear that says, ‘Twerk.’” You better ‘Twerk!’ DJpornstar.com DominicPacifico.com The Helix Studios Splash Bash Phoenix Pride Kickoff is on Friday April 4 from Noon to 8pm. Tickets are available at IONAZ.com and at Tan United.
44
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
New Plays & Musicals Love new, creative theatre? The Hormel Festival of New Plays & Musicals provides almost two weeks of a “meaty” bounty of up ‘n’ coming theatre with fully staged readings, short plays and the 24-Hour Theatre Project March 3-16 at Phoenix Theatre, 100 E. McDowell Rd. For more info & tix go to PhoenixTheatre.com or call 602-254-2151
Chelsea Handler Writer. Actress. Talk show host. Comedian. Potty mouth drunk. Is there anything Chelsea can’t do? Or won’t do? She’s hawking her new book Uganda Be Kidding Me and performing on Saturday, March 22 at the Comerica Theatre, 400 W. Washington St. Phoenix. For tickets go to LiveNation.com or call 602-379-2800
Around the World in 80 Days Picture it. London, 1872. Erudite Phileas Fogg and pal Passepartout circumnavigate the globe via hot air balloon, rail, steamship, elephant and other ways. Rollicking good fun, old chap! TUCSON, March 1-22, Temple of Art & Music, 330 S. Scott Ave. 520-622-2823. PHOENIX, March 27-April 13, Herberger Theatre, 222 E. Monroe. 602-256-6995. Visit ArizonaTheatre.org for info & tickets.
March 2014 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE EVENT LOCATION PHONE 1-22 Around the World ... AZ Theatre Co. - Tucson 602-256-6995 3-16 New Plays & Musicals Festival Phoenix Theatre 602-254-2151 5-30 Pippin Phoenix Theatre 602-254-2151 7 Paul Rodriguez Celebrity Theatre - Phx 602-267-1600 9 Dial M for Murder Desert Stages - Scottsdale 480-483-1664 22 Phoenix Contemp. Dance Co. Herberger Theater - phoenixcontemporarydance.com 14-1 The Norwegians Space 55 Theatre - Phx Space55.org 14 Jeff Dunham US Airways Ctr. - Phx 800-745-3000 22 Chelsea Handler Comerica Theatre - Phx 602-379-2800 25 Amy Shumer Celebrity Theatre 602-267-1600 27-4/13 Around the World in 80 Days AZ Theatre Co. - Phx 602-256-6995 28-29 Paul Reiser StandUp Live - Phx 480-719-1600 thru 30 Kiss Me, Kate AZ B’way Theatre - Peoria 623-776-8400 thru April 13 South Pacific B’way Palms Theatre - Mesa 480-924-6260 March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 45
46
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
IBT’S Street Fair Showcase Who’s the fairest in the land? Head to IBT’s and find out! Just in time for the Fourth Avenue Street Fair. Hometown beauties like Janée Starr, Tempest du Jour, Diva, Ajia Simone, Regine Ray and others cozy up with Phoenix’s Tyra Marie and Mya McKenzie. Meet special guest star Alexis Mateo from “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” The party starts Friday, March 21 through Sunday, March 23. IBT’s, 616 N. 4th Ave. Tucson. Phone: 520-882-3053. See ad p. 131
MArch 2014 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE TIME LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S) Sun 9 6:00pm Phoenix Theatre Miss Gay Cosmopolitan America 2014 Sat 15 12:00pm Kobalt The Brides of March Fri 21 10:00pm The Pressroom Pandora’s Birthday Bash with the Flaming Queens Mondays 10:00pm Charlie’s Barbra Seville w/ Strippers! Mondays 10:00pm Apollo’s Naughty or Nice Bingo with Lezbein & Eryka D. Knowles Tuesday 10:00pm Karamba Savannah Moussier’s Show Wednesdays 9:00pm IBT’s Viva La DIVA Wednesdays 10:30pm Karamba Girls of Karamba - Adriana Galiano, Karime Lizaldi, & Celeste Wednesdays 9:00pm Kobalt 2 Girls 1 Cup with Celia Putty & Guest Wednesdays 10:00pm Charlie’s Nevaeh’s High Heels & Halos Thursdays 9:30pm The Bar Showtime at the Bar with Ian and Barbra Thursdays 10:30pm Karamba Tejano Thursdays with Ruby Reynolds Thursdays AQUA Maniqiues with Tyra Marie & Sasha Bratz Fridays 10:30 The Rock Special Event Rotating Drag Shows Fridays 7:00pm OZ Ruby Reynolds with the Boys of OZ Fridays 9:00pm IBT’s Absolutely Flawless with China Collins Fridays 10:00pm Cruisin’ 7th The Barbra Seville Show Fridays 9:00pm BS West Elements - The Valley’s Top Drag Entertainers 1st Saturday 9:30pm Kobalt Taylor Made with TC Taylor & Special Guests Saturdays 8:00pm OZ Saturday Night Showgirlz with Ruby Saturdays 9:00pm IBT’s Starrletts with Janee Star Saturdays 10:30pm Cruisin’ 7th The Fabulous Mia Inez Adams Saturdays 10:00pm The Rock The Barbra Seville Show Saturdays 10:00pm icepics The Olivia Gardens Show / A Touch of Soul with Maraya Jordan Saturdays 9:30pm Charlie’s Pussy’s Patio Show Saturdays 9:30pm Zorf’s BeDazzled 1st & 3rd Sun. 12:30pm Cruisin’ 7th Sunday Morning Madness with Miss Celia Putty Sundays AQUA Siluetas with Susana Sundays 8:30pm Charlie’s Pussy LeHoot & Friends Sundays 10:30pm Karamba Ruby’s Sunday Follies March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 47
by Jackson David Kelly jacksonkelly@cox.net
Yo, DJ! What’s New? Kylie Minogue
– Kiss me Once With her twelfth studio release, Kylie is ready to entertain the world and crack the U.S. market—again. Fresh with a new partnership with Jay Z’s Roc Nation plus additional songwriting/production from Sia, Greg Kurstin and Pharrell, she just may conquer the states. First single “Into the Blue” is about as perfect as it gets. With its lush orchestrated movements wrapped around a soaring chorus, it just screams with joy. This 11-track set also gets great support from the title track, “I Was Gonna Cancel” and the duet with Enrique called “Beautiful.” Grade: B
John Newman
– Tribute This U.K. artist is definitely getting some buzz after a sneak release earlier this year. Part Robin Thicke with a whole lotta Cee Lo Green, Newman throws together the sounds of pop, R&B, dance and folk. Combine that with a raspy, gritty and an unfailing vocal flare and you understand the makings of this audible winner. Lead single “Love me Again” is this set’s standout with crooning horns and slap-happy hook while “Losing Sleep,” “Cheating” and “Running” continue the party. GRADE: B+
Lea Michelle
– Louder Most notably known as Rachel Berry on FOX’s “Glee,” Columbia finally takes a chance and releases her debut. As expected, the album is chalked full of ballads and opportunities to hear her vocal prowess. Though she sounds like “buttah” much of the album has a watered down feel as it lacks “oomph” and a lyrical savvy as heard in “Cannonball” and “What is Love?” However, it’s on “Louder” where we finally get to jam and on the ballad “You’re Mine” dedicated to Cory Monteith where we go, “Ahhh.” Gleeks unite! GRADE: BLook for other new music from: Beck, Sara Evans, Drive-by Truckers, 311, Elbow, Rufus Wainwright, Ashanti and George Michael. In other music news, Mariah Carey is set to relaunch her career. After “Beautiful” failed to stick, a shoulder injury and a newborn, Mariah is hoping for a reboot. Dropping May 6, expect a lot of fanfare as this diva tries to catch The Beatles to have the most #1’s in music history. ‘Til next month…
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 49
Proudly Presents Broadway’s
& A Tribute to the Saints & Sinners of Stage
8 pm Friday March 14th 7 pm Saturday March 15th 3 pm Sunday March 16th Phoenix Center for the Arts – 3rd Street Theater 1202 N. 3rd Street, Phoenix (Just south of I-10 and McDowell) To purchase tickets please visit voicesofthedesert.org or see a chorus member $18 advance, $22 at the door A portion of the proceeds to benefit Phoenix Center for the Arts
50
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
Patti LuPone “Don’t Cry for Me, Arizona!” The legendary “Evita!” (and recent “American Horror Story” religious fanatic with a penchant for Comet enemas) returns to the Valley to belt out selections from her vast repertoire of songs from Broadway to the Great American Songbook. Friday, March 21 at Scottsdale Center for the Arts, 7380 N. 2nd St. Tix: ScottsdalePerformingArts.org or call 480-499-TKTS
Cher Hey, Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves! It’s “A Woman’s World!” Apparently The Eternal One didn’t retire—just like some drag queens we all know. The one and only Cher kicks of her “Dressed to Kill” tour in Arizona on Saturday, March 22 at the U.S. Airways Center, 201 E. Jefferson St. in Phoenix. Go to TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000
John Legend One of the music industry’s most innovative artists returns after a five year hiatus with a new album, “Love in the Future.” He’s worked with the best: Jay-Z, Britney, Alicia Keys; and the worst: Kanye Kardashian. Oh well. Catch this musical genius on Friday, April 4 at Mesa Arts Center, 1 E. Main St. Need tickets? Hurry! Visit MesaArtsCenter.com or call 480-644-6500
MARCH 2014 ION Concert Calendar DATE 7 8 8 9 14-16 14 14 17 19 21 22 22 22 23 27 28 29-30 4/4
ARTIST LOCATION Merle Haggard Wild Horse Pass - Chandler Gary Numan Marquee Theatre - Tempe Burt Bachrach Talking Stick Resort - Scottsdale Michael Feinstein UofA Centennial Hall - Tucson Voices of the Desert Phoenix Center for the Arts MC Hammer Wild Horse Pass - Chandler Devil Wears Prada Rialto Theater - Tucson Flogging Molly Tempe Beach Park Kings of Leon Ak-Chin Pavilion - Phoenix Patti LuPone Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts Lady Antebellum + others Ak-Chin Pavilion - Phoenix Bobby Vinton Wild Horse Pass - Chandler Cher US Airways Ctr. - Phoenix Kenny Rogers Wild Horse Pass - Chandler Tool US Airways Ctr. - Phoenix Il Divo Comerica Theatre - Phoenix Canyon Echos - Hairspray Phx Ctr. for the Arts - Phoenix John Legend Mesa Arts Center
PHONE 800-WIN-GILA x 7370 480-829-0707 800-745-3000 520-903-2929 voicesofthedesert.org 800-WIN-GILA x 7370 877-987-6487 480-829-0707 800-745-3000 480-499-TKTS 800745-3000 800-WIN-GILA x 7370 800-745-3000 800-WIN-GILA x 7370 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 See ad Pg. 52 480-644-6500
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 51
52
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
by Kimberly M. Ruff kimberlymruff@yahoo.com
The Grand Budapest Hotel Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Adrien Brody, Bill Murray, Edward Norton, Willem Dafoe Writer/Director, Wes Anderson (Moonrise Kingdom) returns with to the screen with his latest quirky caper. Shakespearean actor Ralph Fiennes (The English Patient) stars as sdaGustave H., a concierge at the titular hotel who is accused of murder when one of his coterie of wealthy cougar clients, Madame D. (Tilda Swinton, We Need to Talk About Kevin), mysteriously dies after enjoying an evening of his “exceptional service.” Teaming up with fellow employee, Zero Moustafa (Tony Revolori), Gustave must clear his tarnished name. A bevy of big-name actors and veterans of Anderson’s equally off-beat films returns, and the world—including yours truly—gets to revel in his signature style and surreal world. Release Date: March 7
Muppets Most Wanted Starring: Ricky Gervais, Ty Burrell, Tina Fey The Muppets are back—again! This time their ability to keep the group together and performing is jeopardized by none other than Constantine, an infamous cat burglar and jail breaker known the world over who bears a striking resemblance to none other than—brace yourself—Kermit the Frog! When Constantine goes on the lam from the Russians, he cleverly masks his signature Cindy Crawford mole
and Russian accent, assuming Kermit’s place. Now Kermit is stuck in a Gulag run by Nadya (Fey, 30 Rock) while Constantine is wreaking havoc with the help of Dominic Badguy (Gervais, Ghost Town), who’s now the Muppets’ international tour manager. Can Kermit prove he’s the real McCoy? Will Interpol get their man? Will Miss Piggy throw a temper tantrum? Tune in to find out! “Oh, Kermie!” Release Date: March 21
Noah Starring: Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins, Emma Watson Writer/Director, Darren Aronofsky is nothing if not ambitious. Cutting his teeth with the heavy psychological thriller Pi, Aronofsky brought us Requiem for a Dream, Black Swan, The Wrestler, and The Fountain—a film so beautifully rich and complex it should have garnered an Oscar for its lead, Hugh Jackman, rather than a tepid critical response. Now the auteur returns to the screen with Noah in which he provides his own unique perspective on the classic Old Testament tale about Noah and the Ark. Russell Crowe (Gladiator) stars as God’s most faithful servant, entrusted with the lofty task of constructing an seaworthy vessel large enough to hold two of each animal before God floods the earth. Jennifer Connelly (Requiem for a Dream), Anthony Hopkins (Silence of the Lambs), and Emma Watson (Harry Potter) co-star. Release Date: March 28 March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 53
Saturday, March 29th 7pm Sunday, March 30th 2pm $28 (adult) $23 (senior)
phoenixmenschorus.org 54
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
ICIAL EVEN FF
T
O
Phoenix Center for the Arts 1202 N 3rd St Phoenix, AZ 85004
by Wes Bergman wesobergman@yahoo.com
Reaching for the Moon Starring: Miranda Otto, Gloria Pires, Tracy Middendorf A winner at GLBT film festivals everywhere and voted “Audience Favorite” at Arizona’s own Desperado Film Festival this earlier this year, director Bruno Barreto’s romantic drama deserves the accolades. Based on the Brazilian bestseller Rare and Commonplace Flowers by Carmen Oliveira, Reaching for the Moon catalogs the tempestuous relationship between America’s Poet Laureate and Pulitzer Prize winner Elizabeth Bishop (Otto, Lord of the Rings trilogy) and her long-term lover, Brazilian architect Lota de Macedo Soares (Pires, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes). When writer’s block sends painfully shy Bishop to Rio de Janeiro for inspiration, she finds more than she bargains for in outspoken Soares. Initial frictions between the two give way to a long-lasting, passionate romance until alcoholism, physical distance and a military coup separate the lovers. A magnificent, heartbreaking tale in which the differences between two people can alternately repel and attract them to one another over the course of a lifetime. Australian actress Miranda Otto is the perfect foil to Brazilian counterpart Gloria Pires, playing Bishop with such fragility she bristles and bridles when Soares’ fire threatens to consume her. Just like Bishop’s
poetry, Reaching for the Moon is rich with subtext and succinct. I wish that more movies were like this. Now available on DVD and Digitally
Austenland
(2013)
Starring: Keri Russell, JJ Feild, Bret McKenzie, Jennifer Coolidge, James Callis Meet Jane Hayes (Russell, Waitress), a 30-something New Yorker whose unhealthy obsession with Mr. Darcy from Jane Austen’s acclaimed novel, Pride and Prejudice, has hampered her ability to have a meaningful non-fiction romance. At a personal impasse, she decides to take the plunge and spends her life savings on a trip to Austenland, an eccentric vacation spot that guarantees its visitors romance in England’s Regency Era. Initially delighted by the periodspecific spectacle, she does indeed experience romance, but cannot seem to discern if it’s indeed fact or fiction. Austenland is a quirky romantic comedy that can best be summarized by simply saying, “adorable” as Russell’s Jane is easily the sanest person in the film and her response to her compatriot’s antics sells the insanity. Based on the novel of the same name by Shannon Hale, this is definitely a date night movie. Now available on DVD March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 55
Eight’s Check, Please! Arizona Festival at CityScape!
Sunday, March 30th 11am-3pm Taste and discover the best restaurants and meet the chefs from your favorite episodes.
This time, you’re the critic! Meet the producers and audition for an upcoming season of Check, Please! Arizona
Exclusive James Beard Award Winners discussion panel hosted by Robert McGrath, Christopher Gross and Nobuo Fukuda Featuring James Beard Award Winners Chef Demonstrations Wine Seminars America’s Taco Shop
Last Drop at the Hermosa
Berthas Café
Lon’s at Hermosa Inn
Betty’s Nosh
MacAlpine’s Soda Fountain
Centurion
Mrs. White’s Golden Rule Cafe
Citizen Public House
Phoenix City Grille
Cornish Pasty Company
Rancho Pinot
Cowboy Ciao
Red, White and Brew
Cucina Tagliani
Salerno’s Restaurant & Pizzeria
Dvine Bistro & Wine Bar
Salt Cellar Restaurant
Durant’s
Sofrita
Flancers
Tarbells
Frasher’s Steakhouse and
The Pitts “Again”
Lounge
The Vig Uptown
Havana Café
Vogue Bistro
Hob Nobs
Yupha’s Thai Kitchen
Tickets www.azpbs.org/checkplease/festival
56
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
by Albert Rivas arivas3@gmail.com
T
hanks to Ryan Seacrest, who unleashed the Kardashians on an innocent public, his new series Mixology on ABC revolves around booze and the prospect of sex. Much like 24 having an entire season, these people decided to do it over 13 episodes. Let the doubting begin! The show revolves around ten single people—five males and five females—in one bar in Manhattan. Now after looking into the actors’ biographies nobody is particularly well-known aside from Vanessa Lengies (Sugar from “Glee”) who plays Kacey, a bubbly cocktail waitress who got dumped by her boyfriend—for another man. Tom “Beaver Face” (Blake Lee) who just got dumped after an eight-year relationship is being forced into the dating pool by his pals Bruce (Andrew Santino) and Cal (Craig Frank). Tom is a crying mess. He’s not sexy and can’t dress, according to Maya (Ginger Gonzaga). She’s the one to watch; a tough cookie who doesn’t give a shit about anyone. Remember, we’ve seen this type before and they often turn out to be the most emotional ones. Lots of characters, not enough screen time. I sum up the series as a rom-com cliché and the one night stand that never ends. For that I love it. Then there’s the ever dreadful Girls from HBO. It’s set in Brooklyn. These show’s writers really need a map and to start
Straight People Have Problems focusing on different cities. Here, we follow needy hipster, Hannah (Lena Dunham), an aspiring writer accompanied by her needy hipster gal pals. This is usually where I describe the show to you; this time I am not. I despise this show. Before you ask why, I’m going to begin with that this show reminds me of the “Sweet Sixteen” kids whose parents them the wrong new car and the brats throw a bitch fit. Girls is praised for its “raw edge and accurate portrayal of real women.” In what sick, twisted world is this normal? It’s a bunch of overprivileged 20-somethingyear-old narcissists feeling underprivileged. Yes, it’s a new, different twist on a series but coming from HBO it’s the cheap beer version of “Sex and the City.” The characters are bland, and the longer I watch it, the more permanent my over-the-top eye-rolling becomes. Do I sound like a “Bitter Bert”? Yes. I want to stab this show with a spork and hot glue a bra on Lena so that we can stop being forced to look at her boobs. Seeing her clothed isn’t that much better, but, hey! kudos on your Golden Globes! In heartbreaking news, “How I Met Your Mother” will say farewell on March 31 on CBS. Season 9 will wrap up with an hourlong finale and you can expect this homo to be crying non-stop. [Albert, I warned you about any more coverage of “HIMYM,” didn’t I? Maybe now you’ll STFU.—Ed.] March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 57
58
www.IONAZ.com February March 2014 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 59
60
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
H
Can We Tawk?!
ava nagila! Have two nagila! Heck, have three nagila! Okay, okay ... Just a little Jewish deli humor there. Very little. But at New York Bagels ‘n’ Bialys you’ll get a lot. A lot of great food, a little history (about 3,300 years worth of history) and a lot of love on the side (or to go)—at no extra charge.
himself, the late Eddie Basha, insisted on their bagels, delivered first thing in the morning at his local AJ’s. It’s a 24-hour a day operation there cranking out about four dozen different flavors and varieties of bagels and bialys. So delicious you dare not speak their name. Well, almost. I like the “Everything” the best.
New York Bagels ‘n’ Bialy’s hasn’t been around since Moses led the Jews out of Egypt; (otherwise he would’ve brought them here before they wandered in the desert for 40 years) however, their roots go back to New York City and Chicago at the turn of the last century with recipes continuing on to each generation. They’ve been in Scottsburg—I mean “Scottsdale”—since 1987. Current owners Ruth and Shelly continue to carry on the Tradition. (Just like in Fiddler on the Roof.) Traditioooon! Tradition!
Any time’s the right time for their unique, signature “A.M. Pile Up.” Towering on a platter, you’ll get a fantastical, Empire State Building-sized combination of sausage, bacon, ham and eggs layered on crispy, golden potato pancakes. It’s kinda like reaching the Promised Land. For only $11 it’s a deal. Definitely shareable. In the noon hours you can opt for the NY BB Lunch Pile Up, serving up corned beef, pastrami, sauerkraut, Swiss cheese and Russian Dressing on potato pancakes.
Well, hello, deli! This goy said, “Oy!” when he saw everything from “Genesis” to “Revelations” on their very extensive menu. Let’s start with the lowly, basic bagel: they’re all boiled and baked on the premises. They make 500 dozen daily. Yes, that’s 6,000 a day. You’ll find ‘em at St. Joe’s Hospital, the Mayo Clinic, the Hyatt, and AJ’s. Even the illustrious chubby grocer
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 61
NYBnB has five different
“Bennies” to choose from. The Florentine Eggs Benedict ($9.70) has a twist. You’ll get your poached eggs and homemade cheesy hollandaise sauce, sautéed spinach and onions. Instead of the traditional English muffin, they use toasted challah and sprinkle the whole shebang with diced tomato and feta cheese. A blitz of blintzes, omelets, pancakes, waffles, French toast, a breakfast burrito, even the old fashioned fave creamed chipped beef on toast are as at home here as they would be on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Traditionalists will adore the bagel with Nova Lox—flown in weekly— and cream cheese along with tomato and onion for $7.70 Comedian Milton Berle said, “Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.” Not here. They have almost 25 different specialty sandwiches to choose from. They serve it the traditional way, on rye bread with a choice of sides: coleslaw, potato salad, potato pancake, pasta salad, fries, onion rings or cottage cheese. Sandwiches run from $7-$10.50. The chorizo is made in house, and other meats are all locally sourced when possible. Don’t forget the chopped liver, made in house. Like buttah. You cannot leave without one a traditional (and divine) Black & White cookie, a traditional deli favorite. Other favorites, 62
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
like rugelach, hamentashen and lemon pound cake are available, too. Things that make you go, “Oy!” Have you heard the old Yiddish saying, “Worries go down better with soup than without”? I didn’t just make it up. Quit your kvetching, because they’ve also got light, fluffy, matzo ball soup. And chicken noodle. And albondigas, too. They’ve also got a full liquor license. Try their specialty: the “Sunny Sunrise,” a freshly made blend of fruit juices mixes with tequila for only $3. Friendly, eager-to-please owners and partners Ruth and Shelly work hard to make customers feel like members of the tribe, so to speak. Jerry’s Eggbeater and Ozzie’s Hopple Popple are named after dedicated customers. If you come at the right time, you’ll even see a table of stylish yentas fiercely playing Mah Jongg together daily. (I hear it can get vicious, too. Worse than the Ten Plagues of Egypt.) Hey, it didn’t win “Best Bagel” in The Jewish News for nothin’, my little bubelahs. Start spreadin’ the news ... and the cream cheese, too. It’s all at New York Bagels ‘n’ Bialys. NY Bagels ‘N’ Bialys M-F 6:30 a.m.-5 p.m. Sat-Sun 6:30 a.m.- 3 p.m. 10320 N. Scottsdale Rd. at Gold Dust Scottsdale, AZ 85253 480-483-NYBB NYbagelsnbialys.com
Your location in the heart of Phoenix, making memories that last a life time.
Hotel 502
502 W. Camelback Rd. Phoenix, AZ. 85013 602-264-9290 www.hotel502.com
$99
Celebrate Pride
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 63
64
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
A Collection of Local Independent Favorites
Switching Up Happy Hour. New deeper happy
hour EVERY day.
Over 25 drinks just $4 (4-6:30pm)
Fresh Food, Classic Drinks, Casual Comfort. SwitchofArizonA.com 602.264.2295
switchofarizona
Spring into FEZ. 3-6:30pm Happy Hour Daily & 10pm-close $4 Drink of the Day
All Day. Everyday.
Weekend Breakfast 10am-3pm fezoncentral.com • 602.287.8700 901 north 4th street phoenix, arizona 85004 fezoncentral
Weekly & Monthly Chef Specials!
Spring Fresh Ingredients!
NOW OPEN
1326 N. Central Ave pizzapeopleaz.com • 602.795.7954
66
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 67
68
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 69
Care Bare
Stuart
Reardon Footballer Waxes and Shines for LGBT Causes
by Chris Jenkins
Photo by Paul Reitz March 2014 70 www.IONAZ.com
A
merican footballers can learn a thing or two from their European counterparts, especially when it comes to standing up as LGBT allies. Professional rugby league player Stuart Reardon is the latest to raise his voice in support, arguing against Russia’s inhumanity toward the LGBT community. Reardon recently announced his partnering with Axiom For Men, a gay owned and operated men’s skin care line, in their effort to raise money and visibility for LGBT organizations. When customers buy any Axiom For Men product, they donate a percent of sales to LGBT charities including Family Equality Council and The National Center for Transgender Equality, among others.
serious or personal. We’re just trying to have a laugh. ION: How will they react to your being the new face of men’s skin care? SR: Some might have a laugh but most guys use products these days. When they see all the loot in my gym bag, they’ll be begging me for it. The hair removal cream, in particular, is an important part of my gear, not only for photo shoots but for when I play rugby. If my legs are hairy it gives
The burly footballer discussed how he’s preparing for the upcoming season and to learn if the new partnership means he’ll be waxing his front and rear-don. ION: The news is reporting on bullying in the American football locker room. Does bullying exist in the rugby locker room? Stuart Reardon: I’ve never seen bullying in the locker room. We make jokes but it doesn’t go any further than that. The coaches wouldn’t tolerate it. ION: What is something a guy might get chided for? SR: Well, the fact that I model has been a good source of jokes. ION: Really? A big guy like you gets picked on? ION: Sure, but I don’t mind. It’s really all about the camaraderie. It never erupts into anything March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 71
72
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
opponents something to grip onto when tackling and makes treating abrasions more painful.
Nick in the Super League. He’s a great player. He’d have to be as he plays at the highest level.
ION: How often do you wax?
ION: Would it be safe for a professional rugby player to come out of the closet?
SR: Once a month. Luckily, I’m not naturally hairy. My legs are hairy, but my chest isn’t. ION: Waxing probably helps your tats stand out. SR: That’s true. That was how I first started using Axiom. Their cream is known for not fading ink. My tattoos are very personal and important to me. ION: Several rugby players have stood up as LGBT allies, among them: Ben Cohen, Nick Youngquest and now you. Why have rugby players stood up but not American footballers? SR: I don’t know that much about American football culture. In the U.K., times are really changing and people are much more open-minded than they were even a decade ago. ION: Have you played against Cohen or Youngquest? SR: I have not played Ben. I hear he’s a good winger. I have played against
SR: I think so. Gareth Thomas came out. He had a tough ride for a while, but he found acceptance. ION: How would you feel about having a gay player in the showers with you? SR: I wouldn’t even think twice about it. It would be like showering with any other player. ION: Should U.S. and U.K. athletes boycott the Sochi Olympics? SR: I don’t think so. If I were one of the athletes, I’d rather make a statement through competing. I’ll always choose solving things on the field. It puts out a stronger message than boycotting. ION: How are you gearing up for the next sporting season? SR: I’m currently in rehab for my Achilles. I underwent reconstruction surgery three months ago so I’m spending lots of time with physicians and trainers, lifting weights and doing cardio. I can’t run yet but I’m almost there. This is the time in the season March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 73
to put on body weight, so I’m working on that too. ION: Your team was league champions last year. Are you looking forward to defending your title? SR: Coming back as champs means we’ll face a lot more competition this season. We’ve recruited well and everyone is excited about season. We’re ready to battle. ION: But first, make sure you moisturize! SR: Of course, I aim to shine off and on the field. 74
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 75
76
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 77
78
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 79
80
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 81
82
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 83
84
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 85
86
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 87
LASER HAIR REMOVAL
FUZZY
COCONUTS?
88
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
25% off Package of 6 Any Body Part + 6 FREE Treatments!!! Starting at $25 per tx.
HCG DIET
Get ready for summer Lose up to 1 lb a day $299 Now $199 (602) 845-9940 | 4326 N. 24th Street, Phoenix SkinOasisMedSpa.com | Restrictions Apply
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 89
y. h t l a e H Be Stay Sexy. • Same day appointments available • Testosterone Assessment • STD Testing/Treatment • Primary Care
WWW.PHXCMC.COM •
90
602.633.6314 • 3201 N 3RD ST, PHOENIX, AZ 85012
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 91
92
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
BAR1 The
HEEL Party M
ake all those squats and leg presses you’ve been doing at the gym pay off. And if you want to make your legs look really great, put on a pair of high heels, boys! They’ll give you a walk that makes grown men feel underage. It’s time for the annual Heel Party at Bar1! Pull out those Ferragamos, Bandolinos, Manolo Blahniks or Jimmy Choos. Don’t worry. After a couple of martinis you won’t be able to feel the pain. Looking for some fierce heels for the occasion? Boom Boom LaRue’s is the place to shop. See you on Saturday, March 22 at Bar1, 3702 N. 16th St. in Phoenix. Phone: 602-266-6001 Remember, if you’re going to drink and wear heels, please walk responsibly.
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 93
94
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 95
96
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
Svisions ATYRicon of satyrs art show
S
ATYRICON: A Vision of Satyrs, is the exploration of lighting, photography, canvas and oils with luscious sets created as performance art. The oil paintings are faithful reproductions of that exquisite moment of transcendence captured by the camera. This project is the work of photographer Sean Kapera and art director Steven Rogers. Steven Rogers is best known in the Valley for his stylized nightclub creations Zone, The Works, Crowbar, Club DWNTWN, Amsterdam, and Sanctum (now Stacy’s @Melrose). He studied filmmaking under the legendary James Bidgood, the icon of gay erotic art and creator of the arthouse drama, “Pink Narcissus.” Actor, director, performing arts and life coach, Sean Kapera is also an international art, fashion, editorial, fitness, commercial and celebrity photographer. (Continued next page..)
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 97
98
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
His lens has captured the soulful moments of Janet Jackson, Ricky Martin, Cindy Crawford, Lynda Carter and others. SATYRICON: Visions of Satyrs, is the first in a series of deluxe, exquisite art books to be published when the collection is finished. The opening at Exposed Gallery offers an opportunity for the hedonist in you to own an original.
April 4-27 with artist reception at First Friday premieres on April 4, 6-10 p.m. SATYRICON climaxes at the 15th Annual Erotic Art Show & Expo on April 26 & 27 at Exposed Studio & Gallery, 4225 N. 7th Ave., Phoenix. See ExposedGallery.com
PUMP IT UP CREATED BY:
Photographer Sean Kapera SeanKaperaPhotography.com Follow on Instagram - SKAPERA Art Direction Kevin Bushaw Stylists Mikee Leon AKA Coco St. James & Robert Maynard from The Fix Salon Models are Jonathon, Jesse, & Ko Di Apparel provided by Boom Boom LaRue’s 3606 N 16th St., Phoenix. (602) 265-3441 Special Thanks to Cynthia at Dick’s Cabaret, Christian Cota, The Todds at Bar1 & Travis Hussey March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 99
SHERATON HOTEL DOWNTOWN PHOENIX
100
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
IBT’S
Title Sponsor
th 27 Anniversary
Reno Gannon Memorial
Benefit Auction and Extravaganza
Saturday May 3, 2014
$1 Raffle
The Slaughterhouse 1102 West Grant Road Tucson, AZ Tickets:
$20/Advance $25/Door
Gates Open at 5:00pm Wrestling Starts at 6:00pm Photography by Scott Griessel/Creatista
Tickets/Info: www.jello-wrestling.org • 520-628-7223 All proceeds benefit the Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation
Britney
Live in Las Vegas! Includes: Two Premium Concert Seats for August 19, 2014; Two Night Stay at Planet Hollywood; $100 Visa gift card!
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 101
102
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
G3 PARTY
RIA LTO T HE ATRE
104
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 105
106
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 107
One appointment. Expert doctors. Convenient services.
Lanterman Photo 602.577.1640
Mark A. Wyse, M.D.
Ira H. Ungar, M.D.
Kate Montgomery, FNP Allan Goldman, D.O. David Francyk, D.O.
T.E. McCauley, M.D. Charles Levison, M.D. David Anderson, O.D. Andrew Racette, D.O. Optometrist
Because caring for your health has always been our passion, we’ve made the following services conveniently available in our office. IMG_0897.JPG
IMG_0898.JPG
• Excellent care for all ages • Same day appointments • On-site clinical laboratory and X-rays • Dermatology and Optometry services • Botox and Obagi skin care now available
Certified Dermatologist
James Leap, PA-C Physician Assistant
Celebrating 43 years of family care IMG_0899.JPG
4350 E. Camelback Rd., Ste F100 Phoenix, AZ 85018 602.955.8700 • FPSAZ.com
Walk-ins welcome | M-F 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Saturday 7 a.m. to noon. Open late on Monday and Wednesday until 7 p.m. and Thursday until 8 p.m. 108
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014
Vol. 8, Issue 2
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL
Rescue Dogs of Sochi Bring Communism OUTRAGEOUS! in U.S. Shelters
of Communist beliefs, TELLURIDE, Marxist thought and Colo.—The last inciting unrest among flake of snow other rescue dogs. fell on the latest controversial and “They brought a mixlackluster Winter breed here. We named Olympiad in him ‘Karl.’ The next thing Sochi, Russia. U.S. we knew the Wolfhounds athletes packed up demanded the same kibble their skates, skis that the Huskies and and ugly Christmas Labradors were getting,” sweaters and said one anonymous came home with a shelter attendant. “It’s total of 28 medals pandemonium in here (“We’re Better than the China!” with those Rooskie dogs!” was the athlete’s A mutt named Josef battle cry.) Some ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL competitors, like teamed up with litter mates Vladimir and Colorado resident, Nikita creating “troika,” the freestyle skier Gus Kenworthy and hockey player David or triumvirate spreading Communist theory among the Cockapoos and Bedlington Terriers. Backes, flew home with some of the stray Pugs, Poodles and Pomeranians nationwide dogs found wandering the streets of Sochi. are uniting, creating packs Bolsheviks in the Celebrity correspondents Ali Fedotowsky shelters everywhere. and Katherine Heigl also brought pooches back. “We just hope the Schnauzers don’t get any The Russian strays deposited in U.S. shelters wild ideas of their own,” said one executive of are creating a panic, bringing the seeds the American Human Society.
OUTRAGEOUS!
OUTRAGEOUS!
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL May 2012 www.IONAZ.com 109
110
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
OUTRAGEOUS!
AZ Nearly Faced Days Without Gays OUTRAGEOUS!
“Girl,” said, LaMont PHOENIX—The Swanson, 38, of tarnished Copper U.S. Airways, “if a Star state risked 747 full of bigots losing its luster thinks I’d give them with the near their peanuts and passage of SB beer on their way to 1062 which would Phoenix from Terre have left our Haute, they’re sadly state dull, dreary bitch.” and doleful. The ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLYmistaken, ACCIDENTAL gay and lesbian community nearly Florists, waiters, interior decorators, exited for more funeral directors and tolerant sociogirls’ school field hockey coaches would political climates if the bill became law. vanish overnight, leaving vases without arrangements, white walls everywhere, Picture an endless calendar of “A Day Without a Gay” in Arizona. A lack of hairdressers could corpses piling up and playgrounds of full of lawless little girls who don’t know the rules mean hamlets of mullets statewide. Bruce of field hockey. Townley founder and operator of the Mr. Bruce Academy of Beauty and Grill in Tucson to the hospital? Guess again when you threatens, “I’d pack up my salon, curlers, ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH Going IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL wouldn’t have enough nurses to help. Not flatirons with my ‘fridge full of gourmet Weenie-Tots and hightail it to somewhere else. enough bank tellers to help—not that there ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL ever enough or very helpful anyway—blame Like Dallas, where they appreciate big hair. the legislature. You know that rat’s nest on Jan Brewer’s head isn’t gonna get any better, believe me.” “For God’s sake, we need our gays and Air traffic at Sky Harbor Airport would be lesbians here in Arizona,” said one straight stagnant due to delayed flight arrivals and ally. “I have season tickets to Nearly Naked departures without the cadre of gay flight Theatre!” Save the gays! attendants who keep planes up in the sky.
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 111
112
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
OUTRAGEOUS!
Facebook to Buy U.S. Postal OUTRAGEOUS! Service
OUTRAGEOUS!
MENLO PARK, Calif.— Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of social networking behemoth Facebook is rumored to be ANY RESEMBLANCE negotiating with the Postmaster General and members of the Executive Branch to purchases the United States Post Office. It will be renamed, “The Official United States FaceMail Service.”
TO THE TRUTH IS
“We will do everything the United States Postal Service does,” said Zuckerberg. “And we’ll do it better. We’ll even deliver your mail. Right TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL into your special, digital FaceMailbox.” Plans are currently underway for developing a utility that will delivery those obnoxious, pesky “Pokes” which everybody hates so much that they just won’t eliminate.
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Facebook recently
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLYZuckerberg ACCIDENTAL will purchased WhatsApp for $19 billion. It is a cross-platform mobile ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE messaging app for sending text, video and images. The U.S. Postal Service price tag is about $147 and change plus a book of “Forever” stamps.
TRUTH IS
record a very special, customizable “You’ve TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL got FaceMail” notification for every delivery.
It won’t always be free anymore. And never will be again.
OUTRAGEOUS!
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 113
SAVE WITH VIP DISCOUNT SAVINGS AT
26th ANNUAL arizoNA
All day feasting!
Over 200 craft shops!
Delightful surprises!
FEBRUARY 8TH THRU MARCH 30TH 2014 Experience games, rides, music, comedy, rub shoulders with over 2000 costumed characters & so much more in our 30 acre village East on US Hwy 60 past Gold Canyon GOLF Resort 速
114
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 115
Money’s On The Dresser
An intimiate discussion with author Christopher Daniels about Escorting, Love & Lust.
by Deon Brown 116
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
T
obacco killed over 160,000 people in the U.S. in 2013. There were over 10 million gun related deaths in America in 2011. Drinking ruins countless lives. But nobody every died because of a blow job. The very handsome, blonde Christopher Daniels is smart, industrious, hardworking, earnest, honest and likes making his money the old fashioned way: he works as an employee of the world’s oldest profession. After a breakup in 2009 and short on cash, Las Vegas dancer and “showboy” Christopher discovered that he could make some quick, easy money in Sin City as a “Gentleman of the Evening,” providing company and entertaining men while charging for his time. (Remember, any sexual acts that may or may not occur between two consenting adults is not included in that agreement. Wink, wink.) Christopher’s been lauded as “Mr. San Francisco Escort of 2013” and “Mr. International Escort of the Year” in 2013. Yep. He’s that good. He’s also a popular star of Raging Stallion, Titan, COLT and Falcon adult films. In his tell-all, very, very revealing book Money’s On The Dresser, Christopher writes a fascinating memoir about his upbringing, involvement in an ex-gay conversion ministry, as a professional dancer and more. Oh boy. There’s lots more. Including a client paralyzed with
Muscular Dystrophy who wanted to lose his virginity, or the recovering alcoholic who hadn’t had “sober sex” in years, wanting to rediscover his innate sensuality. There’s everything in between. Dubbed “The Hemingway of Hookers” Christopher bares everything. And I mean everything. As a “professional date,” Christopher is part therapist. Part confessor. Part friend. Part lover. A lot fantasy. The quintessential “Hooker with a Heart of Gold.” “The clientele I generally cater to is as that one guy from their past that they never could have—or had once. Every escort has a different clientele. I cater to the ‘boyfriend experience.’” Christopher’s work is anything but the “Pretty Woman” movie scenario. “When I tell my friends a story they always ask, ‘Well, was he hot?’” Always. I tell them, ‘No! My hottest client would probably still be a troll to you.’” What’s the greatest need that Christopher’s clients have? Companionship? Acceptance? Love? Getting off? “It’s a combination of all those things,” he speculates. “There’s times you go in and you’re just a hole to use. I have a client and we’ve become really close—but we haven’t had sex. He feels guilty that he’ll be violating me if we have any kind of sexual relationship. It’s all in his head. I March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 117
genuinely care about him; but in the long run, he’s paying for it—and that makes it even more okay. But you have to be strict about boundaries. I know escorts who just walk in the door, times up, gimme the cash, and walk out. Sometimes I’m like that because you have to be. You’re there for a fantasy—but this fantasy is being timed.” Some clients have a need to be validated. They choose an escort to help. “We can try for an hour, but it probably won’t happen. If you want to keep trying, fine; but you’re gonna have to pay for it. They think we’re really there to help them; there is some truth to that, but at the same time it’s business and I have other things to do, Christopher says. “If you’re not paying for my time—even if you’re hot—I wanna be doing whatever I want to do. Or off having my own sex.” Are there any misconceptions about Christopher because of his profession as an adult entertainer and sex worker? “Everybody I know does what I do or is okay with what I do, so it’s not an issue. Some people all think we’re all really fucked up, or molested as kids or have drug problems, or stupid, or narcissistic, or that we’ll do anything for money, have 118
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
no sense of self-worth or self-respect. That does exist; we are fucked up, no more than the rest of society. I think gay men in general bring a lot of dysfunction to the table just because of our upbringing. My life isn’t as exciting as people may think. It’s pretty normal. You might wonder if sex work changes, affects or diminishes intimacy with someone special. “For me? No. I have a big sex drive. I like to have sex, that need for physical intimacy and love that isn’t met. There are times when having sex kinda makes me nauseous, like, ‘Ugh! Too much!’ But usually in a day I’m back at it again,” he points out. Is it difficult to recognize where Christopher Daniels the sex worker and porn star begins and the real Christopher Daniels begins? “There are guys in the industry who have two personas; mine is very real,” he assures. “Especially after writing the book. I’m really very much the same. I may turn it down when I’m with my family or a conservative environment but I will not hide or lie about anything.” The burning question that everybody wants to know: how does he “do it” with someone who’s unattractive?
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 119
120
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
He laughs. “You just close your eyes, do your grocery list. Think about a really good time you had with someone you wanted to be with, or focus on one or two qualities they have that are positive,” he offers. “I stopped doing multiple hours or overnights with people I didn’t know. I can’t fake it beyond one hour.” So, exactly what does a sex worker put on tax forms under “occupation”? “I’d rather not answer that!” he laughs. “I am a model, a dancer, a writer. I fill out 1099s and W-2s and W-9s for all those things. I pay taxes every year. And I pay a lot!” he promises. It’s an unconventional profession, certainly. Nobody raises their child to be a sex worker or adult films. We asked what else he would consider doing. “That’s what everyone wants to know. I never expected this, but it just kinda happened. At this point in my life I don’t know what I will be doing when this chapter comes to an end.” What is your greatest achievement? “I’m proud of how hard I’ve worked. A lot of it’s based on my work ethic. Some of it has to do with luck. Some of it has to do with looks. I don’t think I’m the most gorgeous guy in the industry. Most of all I’m proud of my book. It was really a hard process. I’m glad I finished it. That’s really a huge accomplishment,” he said. As far as regrets, “My biggest regret is worrying what other people think. I still do. Everything always seems to work out. I try not to dwell on it.”
People have been and always will be judgmental about sex workers and the adult industry. But Christopher believes there’s a little bit of a porn star deep inside every gay man. “I’ve heard a lot of guys who say, ‘That’s sick, that’s disgusting, that’s so sad and degrading.’ They’re just insecure because they could never do it or that nobody would want them. Everyone secretly wants the attention and adoration. Some say, ‘No, some people really don’t,’ and I honestly believe everybody does,” he laughs. Christopher has been propositioned with a multitude of requests for sex acts and bizarre fetishes. Like the guy who consistently calls about “ball crushing.” (He won’t do it.) Here’s one: Would you have sex with, say, Santa Claus? “Hmmmm ...” he paused thoughtfully. “I’m into bears, but he’s a little too much of a silver bear for me,” he laughed. Money’s On The Dresser: Escorting, Porn and Promiscuity in Las Vegas is available in print or as an e-book. $14.95. Visit Christopher-Daniels.com to find out more about Christopher, read a synopsis and order his book.
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 121
OPE
N
HOU
RS
• Digital Video Arcades • Adult Theaters • Preview Rooms • DVD’s to Rent or Buy • Adult Novelties 111. S. 24th St. (24th St. & Jefferson) Phoenix, AZ 85034 602-306-1130 Arcade, Theater & Preview Rooms
2345 W. Holly Street (N. of McDowell - just East of I-17) Phoenix, AZ 85009 602-253-7126 Theater & Preview Rooms
2901 W. Thomas Road, Ste E (29th Ave. & Thomas) Phoenix, AZ 85017 602-233-2700
Arcade www.theadultshoppe.com
f f o ” d r a h c i R get “ with
Beat the ink in record time with PicoSure, the fastest laser in the world for tattoo removal. Fewer sessions needed, with less pain and at a lower price. Call us today to schedule your complimentary consultation.
5056 N Central Avenue | Phoenix, AZ 85012 602.222.9111 | Phxskin.com
Botox • Dermal Fillers • Laser Hair Reduction • Dermatology • Warts 122
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
I
f you’re gonna share the rent, then ya better be ready to have your share of drama! Just when you thought the worst a roommate could do was finish off your bag of OREO cookies or force you to listen to their drunken sexcapades ... think again! This installment of Favorite Bitch is all about ROOMMATES FROM HELL! If you happen to have one, drop me a message at ask@misstiger.com. I’ll be sure to serve them a fierce verbal eviction they’ll never fuckin’ forget! Dear Miss Tiger, My roommate said she can’t find the money to pay me for the three months back rent she owes. What do you think I should do? — Nikki Dear Get Some Masking Tape And A Sharpie ‘Cuz Your Roommate Is About To Have A Goddamn Yard Sale, She may not be able to find the back rent ... but she’d sure as hell find her shit on the motha fuckin’ sidewalk! NEXT! Dear Miss Tiger, My ex and I decided to continue living together after we broke up. We have a big house and agreed that if we ever found new boyfriends that it would be okay if they lived here too. Well, Toby let his bisexual ex move in. The same ex he was cheating with when we were together! This guy also brought his girlfriend! They’re both living here for free. I don’t know what to do and need your advice, Miss Tiger!
Dear Bitches Got More Roommates & More Drama Than A Drag Queen Got Lace Front Wigs, Ain’t shit in this life for free ... hell, even an STD comes with a price! Go to your computer, print out a Google map to the nearest shelter and send those ‘hos on their merry way, hunty! For future reference, there are two things you never do in life: Never reuse the same plate at an all-youcan-eat-buffet and never live with your ex! Dear Miss Tiger, I let my new girlfriend move in my apartment and she gave me bedbugs. I’m not going to kick her out but wondering if you have any advice? — Straight Guy Who Reads Your Column Dear Your Next E-mail Will Be About The Other Critters She Gave You a.k.a. Crabs, Time is of the essence, motha fuckah! Take a break from eating pussy and take yo’ straight ass to the nearest exterminator! Need advice? Write me or ask your questions during The Derek and Romaine Show on SiriusXM OutQ Channel 109 March 24th 7 p.m. MT. It’s Favorite Bitch ... LIVE and ready for bullshit! Miss Tiger Advice Columnist • SiriusXM radio personality ... and everyone’s #FAVORITEBITCH Website - FavoriteBitch.com Facebook/Twitter - MissTiger Advice - ask@misstiger.com
— Scott March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 123
WARNING HOT
GUYS!
Phoenix
602.993.4567 Tucson
520.791.2345
Tell-AFriend
REWARDS
FREE to listen & reply to ads!
FREE CODE: IONAZ For other local numbers call:
1-888-MegaMates 124
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
TM
24/7 Customer Care 1(888) 634.2628 18+ Š2013 PC LLC 2454
by Sean Kapera SeanKaperaPhotography.com
LEOPOLD ROLDAN Phoenix, AZ Model
FOLLOW on instagram - skapera March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 125
126
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
by Addison DeWitt
Steve just celebrated a happy one year anniversary with coincidentally also very, very handsome boyfriend, Andrew Scott W. last month. Wow! A conversation with Andy Cohen (and Sarah Silverman, kinda) and a boyfriend? Who could ask for anything more? Lucky you! A Congrats! And I mean that.
I
’ve rubbed elbows and hobnobbed with the best of them. From the “American Idol” guy-liner great Adam Lambert (and OUT Magazine’s Most Eligible Bachelor. Seriously. I don’t need a boyfriend who wears more makeup than I do) who once told mean— and I quote—“Please leave me alone and let me enjoy the evening.” True story.) to Anna Nicole Smith’s former, icky, talent-free decorator and Hollywood Wanna-Be, Bobby Trendy. Who’s that, you say? Exactly. Call me a “Starfucker.” See if I care. I’ve been called worse by better people. The point is, it seems I’ve been trumped! Outdone! Dammit! By none other than that g-g-g-gorgeous Bliss-Rebar Friday night D heartthrob and bartender (and ION April 2013 model) Steve Burgi (A). If you tuned into Bravo TV’s “What Happens Live” with Andy Cohen (B) on January 30 (well, actually it was the online “After Show”) you might have heard the soops-excited Steve wetting his pantsies as he gushed over Andy. And guest Sarah Silverman, but only a little bit. A very, very eensy-weensy, teeny-tiny bit.
C
Charity begins at home. Well, and at the gay bar, of course. That Curtis Steinhoff (C) is a saint. B A goddam saint, I tell you. Here he is, throwing his hard-earned money away, giving it to Lurch, I mean, John Michael, (pictured with Curtis) who—surprise!—isn’t wearing that ratty, old, red, Andrew Christian underwear for a change! That deserves another exclamation point. ! Maybe he’ll buy some lessons about “Good Manners” with it. (“Oh no he didn’t!” Oh yes. I did. I’m on a mission. That’s why I have a column.)
The annual One ‘n’ Ten Brunch was a giant success! All those little frittatas, croissants and fruit compotes. Speaking of fruit compote ... I saw that handsome, b-b-b-beguiling Dustin Marshall, a champion marathon cyclist and lion of the community canoodling with d-d-d-dreamy ASU graduate student Chris Reina, (D) an ASU Ironman competitor. Anything going on I should know about, boys? I’ll gladly donate three or four kidneys if you spill the beans. And take pictures, of course. A liver if I can join in. And if it’s all perfectly innocent, I suggest you change that. Pronto. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 127
E On a sad note, will Cher’s newest farewell, farewell, farewell tour that kicks off in Phoenix be a reality? Haven’t you read the headlines? (E) Her family is falling apart, people! There F are somethings botox and Restylane can’t fix. I hope everything works out. (See? I can be nice. Sometimes.) In Oscar News: legendary fag hags Liza Minnelli, along with her talent-free sister Lorna Luft (Who? Yep. Even Andy Warhol couldn’t hardly stand her. And he liked everybody.) and brother Joey Luft
128 www.IONAZ.com March 2014
(Who? Who?) will reunite (F) at the Academy Awards Ceremony on March 8 for a tribute to their late mother, fruit fly extraordinaire, the one and only Judy Garland and “The Wizard of Oz”! If you’re a good gay you’ll tune in. You better. It’s one of the by-laws in The Homosexual Handbook and Guide to Gay Behavior, copyright renewed 1969. It taught me everything I know. Just think! With a few lessons and a little practice, you little junior gays might grow up and be just like me one day! Just like me! Whitney Houston was right: I believe that children are our future. Well, the gay ones, anyway.
D
www.IONAZ.com 128
Hot ’n horny hookups.
Join for FREE
Get 5 Days Unlimited access
LAPT LAPTOP LAPTO PTO P TO T OP P OR O R MOB MOBILE OBI O BILE
WE’RE W WERE E’R RE VERSATILE V ERSA AT TILE
March 2014 www.IONAZ.com 129
Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22
W
hat do you call two gay Irish? Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael. March 16 brings the Full Sap Moon just in time for St. Patrick’s Day—and the sap is running high. Say, “Tip o’ the Trojan to ye,” and you might meet someone who’s magically delicious!
The lucky wishbone is a tradition. You’re the wishbone this month when two friends or lovers are pulling you in two different directions. A decision must be made. A three-way just for fun will make you feel better.
Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22
Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20
Other people’s luck is just obnoxious. It’s better when you have your own. A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck. You can expect the unexpected, but you have to create your own luck. And pay for dinner.
Leo July 23 - Aug. 22
Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20
Make a special request at a wishing well (or the fountain in Scottsdale Fashion Square) when you toss in a coin. Don’t be cheap. Your birthday celebration is complete Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23 You’ll be rolling in clover! A risky investment when a friend you thought was long gone pays off. This may be financial, spiritual or reappears—with a present! That’s how social. Maybe all three! Now the requests wishes work. for a loan start coming in. The answer is, Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20 “No.” A naughty little leprechaun creates havoc Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23 at home and work. We’ll blame it on a An Irish Blessing: “May the wind be always leprechaun, anyway. You’re stubborn, but at your back.” Just make sure your back it’s time to do some reorganization and get doesn’t have a knife stuck in it, too. Take things in order. a word of caution about someone who Gemini May 21 - June 21 whispers sweet nothings in your ear. “They’re always after me Lucky Charms!” Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20 Your positive outlook on an obstacle or Hard work, intestinal fortitude and a little bit sticky situation this month inspires others. of luck will lead to a successful conclusion What is your secret? Sure, everybody knows you’re a little schizophrenic, you can’t on a long, hard project you’ve been working on. Others seek your approval. That’s a hide it from yourselves. switch. Be gracious about it. Cancer June 22 - July 22 Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19 Look for a pot of gold at the end of the You’re as corny as corned beef! Some extra rainbow. Or maybe a couple of extra bucks “cabbage” (that’s slang for “money”) will find at the casino. A small gamble results in its way into your pocket. Make sure it isn’t a win, but don’t expect a windfall. You’ll ill-gotten gains. We know how you are. You still have to go to work every Monday. have a history of graft, you know. Unfortunately. “Find a penny, pick it up. All day long you’ll have good luck!” It seems small and insignificant. But that’s what you said about your last lover, too. You’ll discover something tiny makes all the difference. 130
www.IONAZ.com March 2014
A shooting star is the perfect time to make a wish. But you only get one wish. Don’t push your luck. That’s your problem. A thoughtful birthday wish that benefits others will return to you seven-fold. It’s hard, because you want it all. Don’t be greedy.