1134 Georgia St. Harriman, TN 37748
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RoaneReader FREE
Roane County's BEST locally owned publication guaranteed to entertain you, or your money back!
Established 1993
January 2017
Distributed
VOLUME 24
NUMBER 3
7,500
Little River - A Serial ............... 28 By Rachel Holbrook
Precious Memories ................. 2 By Kay Christopher
Penny Pinchers ......................... 13 Money saving hints and tips
Bible Beat .............................. 8 & 9 Quizzes, puzzles, facts
Seen and Heard .......................... 2 By our readers
Entertainment ............................ 4 Trivia, facts, movie mistakes
Writer's Page ............................ 18 Our readers submitted writings
Aunt Hattie ............................... 12 Hurry-up recipes
According to the Almanac ......... 5 When to do what
Never Loose Money .................. 14 By Bob Tonachio
Obituaries ................................... 7 Monthly
Fun & Facts for Kids only ....... 26 And Adults
Business Directory .................... 31 Contact info for local businesses
Can You Find MeÂż ................... 22
FIND THE CLOSEST ROANE READER pg.31 and @
www.roanereader.com/findone Pick one up before they are all gone!
By The Phantom
Pets Page ................................... 23 Tips for your pets
Phone: 865-882-9340
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SEEN & HEARD IN ROANE COUNTY
By O.I. Seenya • Many people and business associates wishing each other a “Merry Christmas” instead of a “Happy Holidays” this year.
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Precious Memories
Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?
Friday Nights Were Special
What was Captain Hook's name before he got the hook? How fast do hotcakes sell? Where does the toe tag go on a dead person if they don't have toes?
If a person dies and then springs back to life, do they get their money back for the coffin?
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
January 2017
Think About It...
• Police officers and deputies If your driving a federal owned car, and you run a stop sign, is it delivering meals to the elderly considered a felony? on Christmas Eve. Why do people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up • A six year old earnestly every few hours? asking his grandmother if she Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commerwas a passenger on the Titanic cials that says "Not available in all states"? when it sunk. • A lady mistaking vaping If you dug a hole through the center of the earth, and jumped in, liquid for eye drops, and would you stay at the center because of gravity? squirting it in her eyes.
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If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and you are the main witness, what if you say "no"? Do they bury people with their braces on? Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves? Can atheists get insurance for an act of God?
9:00am to 4:30pm Mon - Fri The income tax brackets for 2016 are only slightly wider than for 2015 because of mild inflation during the 12-month period from Sept. 2014 through Aug. 2015 that's used to figure the adjustments. Tax rates do not change. PERSONAL TAXES
Marrieds: lf taxable income is
Not more than $18,550 Over $18,550 but not more than $75,300 Over $75,300 but not more than $151,900 Over $151,900 but not more than $231,450 Over $231,450 but not more than $413,350 Over $413,350 but not more than $466,950 Over $466,950
Singles: If taxable income is
Not more than $9,275 Over $9,275 but not more than $37,650 Over $37,650 but not more than $91,150 Over $91,150 but not more than $190,150 Over $190,150 but not more than $413,350 Over $413,350 but not more than $415,050 Over $415,050
Household Heads: If taxable income is Not more than $13,250 Over $13,250 but not more than $50,400 Over $50,400 but not more than $130,150 Over $130,150 but not more than $210,800 Over $210,800 but not more than $413,350 Over $413,350 but not more than $441,000 Over $441,000
By: Kay Christopher
Sixty years ago, life in Emory Gap was pretty predictable. There was no interstate, no chain restaurants, and no four-lane highways. There were a few businesses scattered around, and you could always catch the city bus to town. Nights were filled with children’s laughter as they played hide-in-seek until bedtime. I remember, Friday nights were special in our house. Mama would always make us a special treat. She would let us vote on what treat she would fix. The decision was between chocolate fudge or hot chocolate. Most of the time, we would choose hot chocolate. Now, the hot chocolate wasn’t created from a package. Mama used real cream, sugar and cocoa, and she heated it in a pan on the coal stove. She’d stir it until it was almost boiling. We’d all be standing with our cups waiting for it to be heated to perfection. She’d pour all our cups full, and we’d sit in the floor and watch TV until it went off the air. (Back then, TV stations quit broadcasting around midnight). I can still see that chocolate milk swirling around in that old round pan while she slowly stirred it. We didn’t have tablets and computers, we had each other, and all the memories one person can handle.
Points to Ponder
Happy Birthday
Jacque Coleman Jan. 16th
10% of taxable income $1,855.00 + 15% of excess over $18,550 $10,361.50 + 25% of excess over $75,300 $29,517.50 + 28% of excess over $151,900 $51,791.50 + 33% of excess over $231,450 $111,818.50 + 35% of excess over $413,350 $130,578.50 + 39.6% of excess over $466,950
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
10% of taxable income $927.50 + 15% of excess over $9,275 $5,183.75 + 25% of excess over $37,650 $18,558.75 + 28% of excess over $91,150 $46,278.75 + 33% of excess over $190,150 $119,934.75 + 35% of excess over $413,350 $120,529.75 + 39.6% of excess over $415,050
230 SOUTH ROANE ST. HARRIMAN - NEXT TO SEARS
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Attorneys: Hannah Tippett & William Allen FREE CONSULT No Fee Unless Approved for Benefits
(865) 882-8556
email: cochranstax@mindspring.com
w w w. c o c h r a n s t a x . c o m
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
The tax is
10% of taxable income $1,325.00 + 15% of excess over $13,250 $6,897.50 + 25% of excess over $50,400 $26,835.00 + 28% of excess over $130,150 $49,417.00 + 33% of excess over $210.800 $116,258.50 + 35% of excess over $413,350 $125,936.00 + 39.6% of excess over $441,000
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
The tax is
The tax is
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
www.msw-law.com
The Roane Reader is a monthly publication and a privately owned partnership. Our address is 1134 Georgia St. Harriman, TN 37748. We welcome letters to the editor. The letters should be signed with address and phone number (for verification only.) We reserve the right to edit for grammar and clarity.
January 2017
Phone: 865-882-9340
MOST PHENOMENAL 2 LETTER WORD
I never knew one word in the English language that can be a noun, verb, adj, adv, prep. UP This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is ' UP .' It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v]. It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car. At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. If you argue, you can kiss and make UP. And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP . When it rains, it soaks UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP . One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now . . . my time is UP ! Oh . . . one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night? U P! Did that one crack you UP ? Read this to a friend. . . or not . . . it's UP to you. Now I'll shut UP !
There recently was an article in the St. Petersburg , Fl. Times, The Business Section asked readers for ideas on: "How Would You Fix the Economy?" I think this 80 year old guy nailed it! Dear Mr. President, Please find below my suggestion for fixing America's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the "Patriotic Retirement Plan": There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations: 1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed. 2) They MUST buy a new AMERICAN Car. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed. 3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed. It can't get any easier than that!! P.S. If more money is needed, have all members in Congress pay their taxes .. Mr. President, while you're at it, make Congress retire on Social Security and Medicare. I'll bet both programs would be fixed pronto! If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know. If not, please disregard LOL...sounds good to me. ty
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Unscramble these “tiny� words 1. LLAMS 2. ETIPTE 3. NUMETI 4. GLITHS 5. SMOETD 6. VATRILI 7. TURIMINEA 8. TILETL 9. SMOOPCICICR 10. SMEINIULC ANSWERS: 1. SMALL 2. PETITE 3. MINUTE 4. SLIGHT 5. MODEST 6. TRIVIAL 7. MINIATURE 8. LITTLE 9. MICROSCOPIC 10. MINISCULE
Happy Birthday Trish Turpin Jan. 1st
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Get Your Facts Straight Atlantic salmon can jump as high as 4.5 meters out of the water Although the outsides of a bone are hard, they are generally light and soft inside. They are about 75% water Children who are breast fed tend to have an IQ seven points higher than children who are not There are no ants in Iceland, Antarctica and Greenland In the United States, approximately 135 million cars travel every day on the streets, roads, and interstates. A salmon with two mouths, two sets of teeth and two tongues was caught by Bob Bateman of Canada There is a "cemetery town" in California named Colma. Concerns about the public health, crime, and the need for space forced the city of San Francisco to outlaw burials in 1902. The city of Colma, which is five miles south of San Francisco, was established to bury the dead. The ratio of dead to living people is 750 to 1 Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors In Belgium, there is a museum that is just for strawberries The most reproduced image in the world is Mickey Mouse, which can be found on over 7,500 different items Vasaloppet, which is located in Sweden is the oldest, longest, and the biggest cross-country ski race in the world. Every year, 14,000 people compete in the race The clown fish has the ability to change its sex. If a breeding female dies, the male fish will change its sex and mate with another male
Roane Street Grill Daily Lunch Specials............$7.49 Monday - Friday.....................$6.99 All You Can Eat Soup & Salad (3 Soups + Salad)
Saturday Morning.................$9.89 Breakfast Buffet
OPERATING HOURS M~T : 6:30AM - 7:30PM F~S : 7:00AM - 8:00PM SU : 11:00AM - 3:00PM
Saturday Evening.................$11.99 All You Can Eat Catfish & Chicken Wings w/ Sides
Sunday Dinner Buffet.........$11.99
FULL SERVICE CATERING
812 N Roane St. Harriman
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Phone: 865-882-9340
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Health Insurance Pays Your Hospital Bills ...
WHO PAYS YOU?
The Unforgettable Mae West Mary Jane "Mae" West (August 17, 1893 – November 22, 1980) was an American actress, singer, playwright, screenwriter, comedian, and sex symbol whose entertainment career spanned seven decades. Known for her lighthearted bawdy double entendres, and breezy sexual independence, West made a name for herself in vaudeville and on the stage in New York City before moving to Hollywood to become a comedian, actress, and writer in the motion picture industry, as well as on radio and television. For her contributions to American cinema, the American Film Institute named West 15th among the greatest female stars of classic American cinema. Despite most of her plays receiving poor reviews by critics, they continued to bill well, thanks in part to the controversy surrounding the subject matter. This soon drew the attention of Hollywood executives. Despite being 38 years old at the time, around the time most actresses start to wind down their careers, West found herself starting a movie career when Paramount Pictures offered her a contract at $5000 a week ($80,000 now). They also let her re-write her lines in the films, such as in her first film, Night After Night, that set the tone for her persona from her first line where a hat check girl says to her “Goodness, what beautiful diamonds.” To which West replied, “Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie.” Within three years she was the second highest paid person in the United States behind only William Randolph Hearst. Mae West was known for her “not too ladylike” quotes such as, “Why don’t you come up and see me sometime?” But, here’s a few you may not have heard. I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain. Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried. Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided. It is better to be looked over than overlooked. I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them. Sex is emotion in motion. Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache. I speak two languages, Body and English. If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning. Right now I think censorship is necessary; the things they're doing and saying in films right now just shouldn't be allowed. There's no dignity anymore and I think that's very important. I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them. It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don't break any. Sin It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men. I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure. It's not what I do, but the way I do it. It's not what I say, but the way I say it. Look your best - who said love is blind? A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him. I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
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865-414-8257
Conveniently Located @ 806 Gallaher Road Only 1 mile off I-40, Exit 356
mlibby@healthmarkets.com
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January 2017
Entertainment
How to make the perfect snowman There’s actually some nuance to building a snowman and some legit ways of making it better. So, before your snow-day fun turns into a Lampoon’s-style disaster, read these tips and find out how to make a killer snowman that your family will love. Step 1: Choose the right snow. No, seriously. If the snow is too powdery it will sift through your fingers like sand. Snowman snow must be packable — think moist, not flaky – in order to hold together. Fresh snow that has fallen when temps are around 32° F is ideal. If your snow doesn’t pass muster, never fear: Just spray it with a little water. Step 2: Start packing. Now that you’ve got the grade-A packable stuff, take a handful and start shaping the snow into a ball. Keep packing. Don’t stop yet. In fact, keep packing the ball with snow until a.) it’s super big, or b.) frostbite has kicked in. Step 3: Put your back into it. See all the rest of the snow on your lawn or sidewalk? Do a few quick leg stretches, because now it’s time to crouch down and roll the ball away from you, across all that white, powdered goodness. It’s a pain in the butt, but it’s actually kind of fun, and it works! All the other snowflakes want to come to the party, and your first ball should be getting large enough to serve as the base for your snowman. Step 4: Rinse and repeat. Remember everything you just did? Well, do it again. Twice. Your second ball should be a bit smaller (for the waist). Your third ball will be slightly smaller still, and serve as the head. Step 5: Stack ‘em. For your basic, bottom-heavy snowman, you’ll now want to stack your snowballs from largest to smallest. If you made them super big (good job!) you might want to use a shovel to lift the midsection and head in place. Pack additional snow between the balls to help hold them together. Step 6: Accessors. Now comes the fun part – give your snowman some ‘tude! Get creative with fruit, veggies, stuff from your craft box or utensils drawer, and give your snowman eyes, a nose, a mouth, and maybe a hat, scarf, or jewels. If packing and rolling seems like too much work (I don’t blame you), you could always use the less traditional method of piling up a large mound of snow and carving out the shape of a snowman. It’ll still look awesome, and either way your fam will have a blast. Happy snowman-making!
email: info@roanereader.com
I’m going to my room, if you’re not there in 10 minutes, I’ll start without you.
January 2017
Phone: 865-882-9340
according to the almanac JANUARY 2017 Temperature 50 (2 above avg.) Precipitation 5.5" (avg.) Jan 1-6: Rainy periods, mild; Jan 7-10: Sunny, cold; Jan 11-17: Showers, warm; Jan 18-22: Rainy periods; warm; Jan 23-31: Periods of rain showers, cold
Best Days To.... Wean animals or children...............................16,21 Start projects............................................................29 Slaughter Livestock..........................................20,21 Set posts or pour concrete..........................25,26 Quit smoking....................................................16,21 Prune to encourage growth..........................4,5,6 Prune to discourage growth..................22,23,24 Graft or Pollinate.............................................11,12 Plant below ground crops..............................20,21 Plant above ground crops.......................2,3,30,31 Have Dental care............................................15,16 Harvest below ground crops.........................15,16 Harvest above ground crops..............................7,8 Destroy pests and weeds................................4,5,6 Cut Hay.............................................................4,5,6 Cut hair to encourage growth...............2,3,30,31 Cut hair to discourage growth................17,18,19 Castrate animals..............................................27,28 Can, pickle, or make sauerkraut....................20,21 Breed animals..................................................20,21 Begin diet to lose weight................................16,21 Begin diet to gain weight..............................3,7,30
January Birthstone Garnet
The wearing of birthstones is thought to bring good luck and good health. Astrologers long ago attributed supernatural powers to certain gemstones. The January birthstone, garnet, is thought to keep the wearer safe during travel.
January was named after the Roman god Janus. Janus is also the Roman word for door. The god Janus had two faces which allowed him to look forwards into the coming year and backwards into the past year. The original Roman calendar only had 10 months. January and February were not included, but were added later.
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Interesting Uses for Rubber Bands Keep Thread from Tangling: Tangled thread in a sewing box can take a lot of time from a project. To prevent having to unknot and disentangle thread each time you want to sew, just wrap rubber bands around the spools so they don't ravel and tangle in the first place. Make a Car Visor Holder: Snap a couple rubber bands around the sun visor of your car. Now you have a handy spot to slip toll receipts, directions, a CD or two, important business cards, and maybe even a pair of sunglasses. Thumb through Papers: Gross! Stop licking your finger to shuffle through papers! Just wrap a rubber band around your index finger a few times to thumb through papers and book pages with ease. Extend a Button: Have your pants gotten too tight all the sudden and you don't have time to get new ones or lose weight? Stick a small rubber band through the buttonhole, and then loop the ends over the button. You should be breathing easier right about now. Use as a Bookmark: Wrap a rubber band from the top to bottom around the part of the book you've already read. Now, unlike paper bookmarks that slip out of books, you won't lose your place, even if you drop the book. Cushion your Remote Control: Protect fine furniture from scratches and nicks caused by television remote controls by wrapping a wide rubber band around both ends of the remote. This will also protect the remote from sliding off of surfaces and getting damaged. Secure Bed Slats: If the slats under your mattress tend to slip out on occasion, just wrap rubber bands around their ends to make them stay in place. Tighten Furniture Casters: To tighten furniture leg casters that have become loose with wear, wrap a rubber band around the stem and reinsert. Gauge your Liquids: Snap a rubber band around the liquid containers in your workshop to indicate how much is left and you'll always be able to tell with just a glance.
WISE MEN STILL SEEK HIM! Emmanuel MESSIAH
Redeemer
FRIEND Sovereign
SAVIOR
JESUS (865) 285-9246 2645 Harriman Hwy, Harriman, Tn www.integrityautosalestn.com
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Tribute: Submit your Memorials, Dedications or just lift up those you love - FREE Thank you for the Memories! by: John Griffin
It was January 29th, 2013 when we lost our mother Irene Griffin. She left behind to cherish her memory two daughters Shirleye Freels of Sunbright, Tn and Diana Cash of Kingston, Tn and also son John Edward Griffin of Kingston, Tn. Also, left to cherish her memory are Andy and Tonya Freels of Sunbright, Tn, Waron Freels of Sunbright, Tn, Billy and Ashley Ward of Sunbright, Tn, Martin Cash, Jr. of Kingston, TN. Also left are grand kids Andi Freels of Sunbright, Tn, Jordan Puckett of Kingston, TN and Nathan and Katelyn Ward of Sunbright, Tn. Also left are Michael and Stephanie Puckett of Kingston, TN. Thank you for all of the memories we had with you.
Happy Birthday Tony Webb - Jan. 4th Frances Chesser - Jan. 6th Edna Johnson - Jan. 23rd Becky Johnson - Jan. 23rd
Happy Birthday Diana Cough Jan. 19th
LOVE YOU SISTER!
Happy Birthday
Jared (JJ) Stout Feb. 9th
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January 2017
It's worth considering! By: Betty Greer
The other night I just couldn't get back to sleep, you know the feeling. Well after I tried a few things, I just started praying for those I knew need help as my friends told me the serious problems with health issue in their family. Some of these names were friends that hurt me yet I had no pain from their name. Praise the lord! If these old names could only see as the years pass, the rain falls on the just and the unjust. And only our God could strengthen us physically and mentally for the task at hand. There were some I prayed for who had no name, yet God knows. I felt it was a privilege to pray for these as God had been so merciful to me. He gave me great teachers who loved God and others, and loved me just the way I am now. And also, I was using this time for a good purpose. Now, this is what I/we should strive for: not only to pray for those who hurt us, but forgive them and mean it, even if it takes time, ... then put them on our PM/AM prayer list. Now that's a stretch. Here is what will happen, it's a guarantee! When we love more, we forgive more. Then we pray for all with no exceptions. This action lets us know we have come closer to the ONE WHO IS All LOVE (1 John 4:8), and that love has oozed out upon us to others. Now that is worth considering.
Community Classes Being Offered We are taking sign-ups for classes listed below. They will be contacted when a schedule is made. The classes are: co-parenting, anger management, living well with chronic conditions, thriving and surviving with cancer, senior living programs (variety of topics), programs for childcare providers and parents, parenting classes, grandparents raising grandchildren or relative caregivers, pathways for health (weight management program). Kristina Casterline Extension Agent I and County Director Adult Family and Consumer Sciences UT Extension, Roane County 3074 Roane State Highway Harriman, TN 37748 865-376-5558 Office kriscas@utk.edu | roane.tennessee.edu
REWARD FOR SAFE RETURN OR INFO LEADING TO SAFE RETURN - - NO QUESTIONS ASKED "Keeper" Last seen Harriman, TN October 12 @ 7: 45AM 16 - 18 inches tall, tan/white beagle mix. Neutered Male. White socks, Right front leg white. White tip tail dark eye brows.
JIM HENRY & ASSOCIATES
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CHERYL LAXTON Broker Associate
410 N. Kentucky St Kingston, TN 37763 www.cherylsellinghouses.com Each Office Is Independently Owned and Operated.
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January 2017
Obituaries
Nov. 26th “Dick” Walden, 78, Kingston Louise Hester Boone, 90, Kingston Nov. 27th James “Tip” Martin, 79, Kingston Nov. 29th “Mimi” Guinn, 74, Kingston Annamarie Cannon, 72, Kingston Dec. 1st Erin Lamar Hardin, 76, Oliver Spgs Betty Jo Austin, 84, Rockwood Dec. 2nd Virginia Suttles Hadley, 87, Harriman Dec. 3rd Carl Dean Kamer, 70, Harriman Helen Lavada Neal, 81, Harriman Patricia Williams, 75, Oliver Spgs Dec. 5th Scott Douglas Begley, 50, Harriman Wanda Crass Easter, 74, Rockwood Lucille R. Schubert, 99, Harriman Dec. 7th Mildred Morris, 81, Emory Gap Dec. 8th Betty Nelson, 76, Rockwood Dec. 9th Harold Prater, 81, Oliver Spgs Mary McNelley Cofer, 70, Rockwood Ralph Kindred, 85, Westel
Dec. 10th Mariann D’Alessandro, 73, Harriman Dec. 11th Eva Sue Frost, 68, Harriman Dec. 12th Harry K. Bledsoe, 73, Rockwood Margaret Potter, 83, Rockwood “Billy” Sirmans, 81, Kingston Dec. 14th Jewell Oakes Butler, 82, Rockwood Dec. 15th Ronnie G. Turnbill, 47, Rockwood Dec. 16th Bobby D. Meadows, 78, Rockwood Dec. 19th “Bea” Plemens Richey, 88, Kingston Martha “Katie” Easter, 58, Harriman Dec. 20th Robert C. Brown, 78, Kingston Johnny E. Townsend, 88, Kingston Dec. 22nd Charles Everett Price, 87, Kingston Paul Wayne Lemasters, 56, Kingston Dec. 25th Rodney S. Williams, 51, Harriman Michael L. Frost, 67, Harriman Barbara Newman, 72, Harriman Dec. 26th "Duke" Braden, 62, Oliver Spgs
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Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It's not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make. Period.
“I love St. Jude’s Hospital. Please help support them”. (Kayden Christopher)
If you want 2017 to be your year; Don't sit on the couch and wait for it. Go out. Make a change. Smile more. Be excited. Do new things. Throw away what you've been cluttering. Unfollow negative people on social media. Go to bed early. Wake up early. Be fierce. Don't gossip. Show more gratitude. Do things that challenge you. Be brave.
that moment you need someone, but they’re in heaven.......and so, you cry instead...
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Can you live for God Without Sinning? No. Paul teaches in Romans 7:14-25 that he struggled with sin on a regular basis. The unsaved world has no regard for God nor His Word, so there is no struggle. They are children of the Devil. The best Christian still struggles with sin, but with God's help is able to overcome temptation (1st Corinthians 10:13). Yet, everyone falters at times because we are sinful by nature. Those who deny being sinners are liars and call God a liar (1st John 1:8,10). Sin is NEVER permissible; but the fact of the matter is that everyone is a sinner. No one can live above sin. Those who claim to do so are self-righteous hypocrites. (Luke 18:10-14).
Miss Me-But let Me Go When I come to the end of the road And the sun has set for me, I want no rites in a gloom-filled room: Why cry for a soul set free? Miss me a little - but not too long And not with your head bowed low. Remember the love that we once shared. Miss me - but let me go. For this is a journey that we all must take And each must go alone. It's all a part of the Masters plan, A step on the road to home. When you are lonely and sick of heart, Go to the friends we know And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds. Miss me - but let me go. - Author Unknown
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Bible Quest
From what tribe of Israel did the Apostle Paul come? Who directed Paul to preach to the Gentiles? Who was the king of Israel when David slew Goliath? To whom did God describe Job as a perfect and upright man? Who said, “Silver and Gold have I none, but such as I have I give thee?” James the brother of John was the first Apostle martyred. How was he killed? How old was Abraham when his son Isaac was born? What was the title placed on Jesus’ cross? Who took his rod and stretched out his hand upon the waters of Egypt to turn them into blood? Where were the disciples first called Christians?
Bible Quest Answers
(Philippians 3:5) (Acts 26:17) (1 Samuel 17) (Job 1:8) (Acts 3:6)
(Acts 12:2) (Genesis 21:5) (Luke 24:38 John 19:19 (Exodus 7: 19-20) (Acts 11:26)
Church Bulletin Bloopers
•“The outreach committee has enlisted 25 volunteers to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.” •“Parents are asked to remind their children to be on their pest behavior.” •“Announcement requesting baking donations for the annual bazaar: ‘And I don’t want abstract promises. I want concrete pies!’” •“Announcing a covenanting service for the new minister, the bulletin had it as a ‘coveting’ service.” •“As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing. •Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. •Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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Bible Beat
Across 1. replied 7. relating to two 8. James Zebedee's brother 9. loose outer coat 11. rip 13. whenever 14. opposite of better 16. 24 hours 18. is not able to 19. those invited 21. equally 23. not young 24. not shrunken 25. state of being filled 26. receives 28. more than one person 29. stitches 30. destroyed 31. complained 32. else Down 2. opposite of old 3. instead 4. tugs 5. always obeyed Jewish law
Fasting, Mark 2:18-22,
6. do without food 7. popped 10. used to 12. not home 14. skins that hold wine
Betty Lemons Jan. 10th
851 Lawnville Rd Kingston, Tn 37763
January 2017
Jesus and his disciples didn't fast. John the Baptist and his followers did. The Pharisees always judged other people by their rules. People in those times fasted, which meant they went without food and water to make a statement to God of sorrow for their sins. The Pharisees didn’t realize that Jesus was the Son of God. They thought he wasn't following the rules. They didn't accept that Jesus followed a new law, a new way of thinking and acting. Be careful not to judge other people by your rules. Leave the judging to God, your heavenly Father.
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15. belonging to you 16. followers 17. man who is getting married 18. arrived at a place
20. savior of mankind 22. not short 25. newly baked 27. robbed 28. part
Who’s the Real Virgin? A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her Grannie by asking, “Which virgin was the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?”
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January 2017
Fasting, Mark 2:18-22 Fasting means going without food for a day except for one meal and water. Fasting will give your body a chance to clean out the old. Fasting makes you appreciate the food you may have taken for granted. When you fast, you can give the food and/or the money you would have spent on food to the needy. It is very important not to overdue it. There is a difference between fasting and starving yourself to death. God loves you does not want you to starve yourself to death. Y H J F D L S E W S D Z B I I N Q F X L S T L D E U N S L L U P N Z G E H A B B N O T E T A V H H C Q Y E M C K E S G R Q B R R C D F N H O J B W H I A C T K I K I N E E F I I Y E T E I O Z T H O E D B R Y W J K O Q P F U L L N E S S O S E F A Q S B Z S E S I W R E H T O K D R G W E D N O P P P E O P L E J Z X L O O R J T S A H Q A Y S T S E U G H W G B W O C L O A K Z Y T D J M I I V S C W Z S O S N L W T M N M I K Y Z P I E G Z C L M E R R A T H E R S N E K N U R H S N U F E Y X O T F N Z C J I E X B F S R Z C J S D E N I U R B I D P B V D W U Y X A H I A U I I H E B P K L P C K E M K W N C R X A F D B I A L C B I L Y D V X C N L A G J E S U S I E B D E O P D F N O O O H O V D H W W F S A I C N W I N P C T T P T S R U B I S T E G E G E N A J T V H Y A D D T W I N E S K I N S G O L D J K answered both bridegroom burst cannot cloak cloth day disciples
fast fresh fullness gets guests Jesus John long new
objected old otherwise people Pharisees piece pulls rather ruined
sews taken tear unshrunken wedding wineskins worse
Prison Blues The young pastor was excited when they asked him to preach one Sunday in prison, but he was also very nervous. On the day he arrived at the prison, he was greeted by a large group of prisoners waiting to hear him. As the young pastor walked and stood behind the pulpit, he said, “Good morning. It’s so good to see you here!�
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Bible Beat
Bring It On, Preacher!
The visiting preacher was really getting the congregation moving. Near the end of his sermon he said, “This church has got to walk,� to which someone yelled, “Let her walk, preacher!� The preacher then said, “If this church is going to go, it’s got to get up and run!� Someone again yelled with gusto, “Let her run preacher.� Feeling the surge of the church, the preacher then said with even louder gusto, “If this church is going to go it’s got to really fly!� Once again with ever greater gusto, someone yelled, “Let her fly, preacher, let her fly!� The preacher then seized the moment and stated with even greater gusto, “If this church is really going to fly, it’s going to need money!� Someone in the back yelled, with gusto, “Let her walk, preacher, let her walk!�
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Bible Trivia 1.Who wrote the book of Acts? 2.How many Gospel books are there? 3.Who wrote the book of Revelation? 4.Who said, “Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand�? 5.How many times did Peter deny Jesus? 6.Who was shipwrecked in the New Testament? 7.Which New Testament book tells about Paul’s conversion? 8.Where did Jesus grow up? 9.Where was Paul when he went blind? 10.How many wise and foolish girls were in Jesus’ story? 1.Luke 2.Four 3.John 4.John the Baptist 5.Three
Trivia Answers
6.Paul 7.Acts 8.Nazareth 9.On the road to Damascus 10.Five of each or ten altogether
What’s For Dinner?
When the pastor arrived at the family’s house for dinner, the little girl informed him that her mama was cooking buzzard for dinner. “We’re having chicken,� her father reassured the pastor. “But daddy,� the daughter exclaimed, “I heard Mommy tell you we were having the old buzzard for dinner.�
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January 2017
Amazing Coincidences Major Summerford - Lightning Strikes Twice
British Army officer, Major Summerford, was fighting in the fields of Flanders in February 1918 [1st World War 1914-1918] when was knocked off his horse by a flash of lightning and paralyzed from the waist down. Summerford retired and moved to Vancouver, Canada. One day in 1924, as he fished alongside a river, lightning hit the tree he was sitting under and paralyzed his right side. In 1930 he was out walking on a summer's day when a lightning bolt smashed into him, permanently paralyzing him. He died two years later. But lightning sought him out one last time. Four years later, during a storm by an amazing coincidence, lightning struck a cemetery and destroyed his tombstone.
Newspapers Premonition - Another Amazing Coincidence
Oregon's Columbian newspaper announced the winning Pick 4 lottery numbers for June 28, 2000 in advance. The newspaper had intended to print the previous set of winning numbers but erroneously printed those for the state of Virginia, namely 6-8-5-5. By a strange coincidence, in the next Oregon lottery, those same numbers were drawn.
Dead man's hand
In 1858, Robert Fallon was shot dead by his opponents for allegedly cheating while playing cards for money Fallon, it was claimed, had won the £300 [$600USD] through cheating. With Fallon dead and his seat empty none of the other players willing to take the now-unlucky Scarcely Believable Coincidences £300 In 1899 a bolt of lightning killed a man as he stood in his backyard in Taranto, Italy. The other gamblers found a new player to take Fallon's place and staked him with the Thirty years later his son was killed in the same way and in the same place. On dead man's £300. By the time the police had arrived to investigate the killing, the new October 8, 1949, Rolla Primarda, the grandson of the first victim and the son of the player had turned the £300 into £1,070 [$2,200USD] in winnings second, became the third. What an amazing coincidence. The police demanded the original £300 to pass on to Fallon's next of kin; only to discover that the new player turned out to be Fallon's son, who had not seen his Shooting Coincidence father for seven years. On July 28th 1900, the King of Italy, Umberto I, was having dinner in a restaurant in the city of Monza. It turned out later that the restaurant's owner looked identical to the Traveling Companions king. The restaurant owner's name was Umberto, his wife's name was the same as the Traveling by train across Peru during the 1920's were three Englishmen. They did queen's and the restaurant was opened on the same date as the king's coronation. The not know one another and they turned out to be the only three men on that train at Restaurant-owner Umberto was shot dead the next day, by an amazing coincidence, so that time in that particular carriage. They were introduced to each other was King Umberto. One man's last name was Bingham, and the second man's last name was Powell. The third man announced that his last name was Bingham-Powell Amazing Father and Son Coincidence None were related in any way Claude Volbonne killed Baron Rodemire de Tarazone of France in 1872. 21 years earlier, the Baron's father had been murdered by somebody else called Claude Titan -> Titanic Volbonne. In 1898, 14 years before the Titanic made her maiden voyage, Morgan Robertson Another Amazing Father and Son Coincidence published his book, 'Futility' or 'The Wreck of the Titan.' On February 13, 1746, a Frenchman, Jean Marie Dubarry, was executed for the This was the story of an "unsinkable" massive ocean liner, which like the Titanic, murder of his father. Precisely 100 years later, on February 13, 1846, another French- was on its maiden voyage from Britain to New York in the month of April, with man, also named Jean Marie Dubarry, was executed - for the murder of his father. 2,000 people on board. While it was also attempting to cross the Atlantic in record time, it too struck an iceberg and sank. Not only were the ships' names very similar, Hanging: Amazing Coincidences but most on board also perished simply because there was of a lack of lifeboats. On the 26th November, 1911, three men were hanged at Greenberry Hill in London after being convicted of the murder of Sir Edmund Berry. As a strange coincidence The Biggest Coincidence Ever their names were Green, Berry and Hill. In 1975, while riding a moped on the island of Bermuda, a man was accidentally Hernán Cortés - Mayan Prediction struck and killed by a taxi. Hernán Cortés' arrival in Mexico in 1519 coincided with the year in the Mayan Exactly one year later, this man's brother was killed in the very same way. Calendar when it was predicted that the pale-faced man-god Quetzalcoatl would It was established that he was, in fact, riding the very same moped. To make this return to reclaim the city of Tenochtitlán. The Aztecs therefore assumed Cortés to coincidence even more difficult to believe, he was struck by the very same taxi driven be the legendary man-god, which assisted him in capturing the city and then the by the same driver who, wait for it, was even carrying the very same passenger. whole of Mexico.
The original patent from 1891 for a toilet paper roll shows the correct rolling direction, in case you ever doubted.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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January 2017
What Are Icicles? Icicles can form during bright, sunny, but subfreezing weather, when ice or snow melted by sunlight or some other heat source (such as a poorly insulated building), refreezes as it drips off under exposed conditions. Over time continued water runoff will cause the icicle to grow. Another set of conditions is during ice storms, when rain falling in air slightly below freezing slowly accumulates as numerous small icicles hanging from twigs, leaves, wires, etc. Thirdly, icicles can form where ever water seeps out of or drips off vertical surfaces such as road cuts or cliffs. Under some conditions these can slowly form the "frozen waterfalls" favored by ice climbers Given the right conditions, icicles may also form in caves (in which case they are also known as ice stalactites). They can also form around salty water sinking from sea ice. These so-called brinicles can actually kill sea urchins and starfish, which was observed by BBC film crews near Antarctica. Damage and injuries caused by icicles Icicles poses safety and structural dangers. Icicles that hang from an object may fall and cause injury and/or damage to whoever or whatever is below them. Also, ice deposits can be heavy. If enough icicles form on an object, the weight of the ice can severely damage the structural integrity of the object and cause the object to break. In 2010, five people were killed and 150 injured by icicles in Saint Petersburg, Russia after a heavy snow that also caused apartment block roofs to collapse, as well as creating water damage to private homes and to the National Library of Russia. The combination of the ice load and the wind on ice load can break wires, cross arms, and poles and/or other supporting structures. Damage associated with icicles on roofs may be to vehicles parked next to the overhang. Icicles on roofs are also often associated with ice dams that may cause water to infiltrate under the shingles with possible water damage to the house or building and its contents.
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Strange Illness
It was the doctor’s last patient consultation of the day. A mother came in with her young daughter and asked if he would examine her because she had been showing some strange symptoms, including a significant increase in weight, sickness most mornings and a number of strange cravings. He checked her out very carefully and eventually told the mother that her daughter was unquestionably pregnant. At which news she protested very strongly. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, my daughter has never been with a man.’ The girl confirmed that this was true and added that she had never so much as kissed a man. The doctor studied the girl carefully, stood up, walked to the window and stared out at the night sky. “Something wrong, doctor?” the mother asked. “No, not really” replied the doctor. ‘It might just be a coincidence, but the last time this happened a bright star appeared in the East.’
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Tip of the day! Flip the bell peppers over to check their gender. The ones with four bumps are female and those with three bumps are male. The female peppers are full of seeds, but sweeter and better for eating raw and the males are better for cooking. I didn't know this!
January 2017
Aunt Hattie's "Hurry-Up" Recipes
Household Hints To make a general purpose cleaner, combine ½ c. baking soda and 1 tbsp. water to form a paste. To Clean Wooden Furniture, Wash with warm water and Ivory soap, dry and rub with equal quantities of spirits of turpentine and sweet oil, wipe dry and rub with soft flannel cloth. Washing Windows? Dip a lintless cloth in wood alcohol, go over the glass and follow with a piece of old silk cloth. This is fine for cold weather. To unclog a drain, mix 1 c. baking soda, 1 c. salt and 1 c. white vinegar. (It will fizz) Let it sit for 15 minutes then pour down clogged drain. Pour in several cups of boiling water. If you have bottles of perfume or cologne which you do not care for, don't throw them out. Try putting some in your bath water. The ratio of water to perfume will make for a nice smelling bath! Lemon Juice will remove adhesive tape and gum from hands and clothes! Need a good toilet bowl cleaner? Inexpensive, too? Get a bucket and add 2 quarts of water, 1 cup hydrogen peroxide and 1 tablespoon household ammonia. Mix well. Pour this entire mixture into the toilet and put the toilet lid down. Let the solution set for 30 minutes. Open the lid, scrub with brush and flush! Easy and makes your toilet bowl sparkle! For icy doorsteps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put Dawn dish washing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won't refreeze. (Wish I had known this for the last 60 years)! If you drop a can of soda or it gets shaken up, to keep it from exploding when you pop the top, use your thumb and middle finger to thump up and down the side of the can as you rotate it for about 20 seconds. Then you can pop the top and enjoy.
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HATTIE SHILLINGS
Roast Beef Tenderloin with Caesar Crust 1 4-pound center-cut beef tenderloin, fat and silverskin trimmed Kosher salt 4 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper plus more for seasoning 2/3 cup fine fresh breadcrumbs made from day-old white bread 2/3 cup finely grated Parmesan
2/3 cup mayonnaise 4 anchovy fillets packed in oil, drained, finely chopped 4 teaspoons Dijon mustard 4 teaspoons finely grated lemon zest 2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce 2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
Season tenderloin lightly with salt and pepper. Wrap in plastic; refrigerate overnight. Uncover tenderloin; let stand at room temperature for 2 hours. Preheat oven to 400°. Set a rack inside a rimmed baking sheet. Transfer tenderloin to rack. Pulse 4 tsp. black pepper and remaining ingredients in a small food processor until well blended. Generously and evenly spread and pack Parmesan mixture around tenderloin. Roast until crust is golden brown and an instant-read thermometer inserted into thickest part of tender loin registers 110°–115° for rare and 120°–125° for medium-rare, 30–40 minutes. Transfer to a carving board. Let rest for 20 minutes. Cut into 1/2"-thick slices, taking care not to lose too much of the delicate crust.
Vidalia Onion Pie 1 sleeve Saltine or 1 cup Ritz crackers 2 ½ cups Vidalia onion. ¾ cup milk
2 Tbsp. oil 2 eggs ¼ cup grated cheese
Combine crumbs and butter. Press into an 8” pie pan. Bake 8 minutes at 350°. Cool. Sauté onions in oil until tender. Put into the pie shell. Mix eggs, milk, salt & pepper and pour over onions. Top with cheese and bake at 350° for 45 minutes. It freezes well if there are leftovers, just put the frozen slice into the oven at 350 for about 20 minutes or so. Enjoy.
Cheesy Potato Casserole 1 pint (2 cups) sour cream 1 can (10 3/4 oz) condensed cream of chicken soup 1/2 cup butter, melted
1 tablespoon garlic salt 1 cup chopped onions 1 bag (30 oz) frozen country-style shredded hash brown potatoes, partially thawed 2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese (8 oz)
Heat oven to 350°. In large bowl, combine sour cream, condensed cream of chicken soup, melted butter, garlic salt, chopped onions, hash brown potatoes, Cheddar cheese; stir until well blended. Pour into ungreased 13x9-inch (3-quart) glass baking dish. Bake 45 minutes.
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Some of our recipes, hints and articles are submitted by our readers and we take no responsibility for their accuracy or consequences.
The Roane Reader
January 2017
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Kindergartners Share Recipes
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Ivette - Banana Pie: You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the pie. Then you eat it. Shelby - Applesauce Go to the store and buy some apples, and then you squish them up. Then you put them in a jar that says, "Applesauce." Then you eat it. Megan K - Chicken You put it in the oven for 25 minutes and 25 degrees and put gravy on it and eat it. Christa - Cookies Buy some dough and smash it and cut them out. Then put them in the oven for 2 hours at 100 degrees. Then take them out and dry them off. Then it's time to eat them. Jordan Si. - Chocolate Pudding Buy some chocolate pudding mix. Then you add the milk. Then you add the pudding mix. Then you stir it. Then you put it in the refrigerator and wait for it to get hard. Then you eat it. Jason - Chicken Pie Put the chicken in the pot and put the salad and cheese and mustard and then you mix it all together. Then put chicken sauce and stir it all around again. Then you cook it for 5 minutes at 9 degrees. Then you eat it. Ashley - Chicken Put it in the oven. Then cut it up. Then I eat it. Jennie - Corn My mom buys it. Then you throw it. Then you cook it. Then you eat it. Jarryd - Deer Jerky Put it in the oven overnight at 20 degrees. Then you go hunting and bring it with you. Then you eat it. Joplyn - Apple Pie Take some apples, mash them up. Take some bread and make a pie with it. Get some dough and squish it. Shape the dough into a pie shape. Put the apples in it. Then bake it at 9 degrees for 15 minutes. Isabelle - Spaghetti Put those red things in it. Then put the spaghetti in it. Then cook it in the oven for 2 minutes at 8 degrees. Bailey - Chicken Put pepper and spices on it. Cook for one hour at 60 degrees. Then eat it. Nicholas - White and Brown Pudding First you read the wrapper. Get a piece of water. Stir. Then you eat it. Olivia - Corn Get hot water and put on stove. Wait for 8 minutes. Put corn in. Then put it on a plate. Then eat.
Help With Potty Training When potty training using the reward system can be helpful. Make a chart and let the child pick out their favorite stickers, every time they go potty make a big deal out of it and let them pick out a sticker to put on their chart. Remember to be patient this is one area they are in control of, it's basically all in their time frame.
A brunette goes into a doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I dyed my hair. I'm naturally blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
Happy Birthday
Linda Stooksbury Jan. 2nd
13 The Roane Reader
Penny Pinchers To remove a fresh coffee stain, sponge or soak with cold water as soon as possible. Wash, using detergent and color safe bleach. For a set in stain beat an egg yolk and then with a terry cloth, apply it to the stain. You’ll need to work the yolk into the stain for a minute or so. Now rinse it thoroughly with water. The stain will disappear. Keep cut fruit from browning. (the sweet way) – Use a 1:2 ratio of honey and water for the same effect minus the sour flavor of lemon. You can clean your microwave and eliminate odors with vinegar. Pour 1/4 cup white vinegar and 1 cup water in a small glass or ceramic bowl, and then microwave on high for 5 minutes. The steam from the vinegar water will remove any odors and will soften baked-on splatters. Open the oven door and allow some of the steam to escape before you start to wipe down the walls. After the vinegar water cools down, dip a sponge or cloth into the water and use it to wipe off the inside surfaces of the microwave and around the door seals. Separate white and colored items. If you wash your whites with colored clothes, over time they will take on a gray tinge. Lint from light clothing also will stick like glue to your dark clothes. You'll want to sort our delicate items too. A nightgown can be torn to shreds by a zipper on a pair of jeans. Wash delicate items on a delicate cycle or by hand. To make your clothes last longer, wash clothes with care. Never overload the washing machine; clothes that are stuffed too tightly into the washer tend to rub together and cause pulling. To prevent snags, close all zippers and fasteners before washing. Turn pockets inside out to make sure they are empty; one ball point pen left in a pocket can ruin a whole load of clothes. Remove wash as soon as it is done, and either hang it up to dry or put it into the dryer. If your artistic child has shown his talent on painted walls or wallpaper, here’s how to get it off: Dry cleaning solvent, available at drug or shoe stores. Pour a bit on a terry cloth towel to safely remove crayon from almost any (except antique wallpaper) surface. Lay a piece of plastic wrap into shoes and put a drop of clove oil on a cotton ball and place it on plastic wrap to remove the odor. Don’t forget to take this out of the shoes before you put them on. You also can use empty film canisters as shoe odor-busters. Poke holes into the lids and put the essential oil perfumed cotton balls inside. Freeze several different sizes of water bottles to keep food chilled in an ice chest. When the water melts, you can drink it! Turpentine will remove scuff marks.
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Sleeping At The Office If somebody falls asleep in a meeting, have everyone else leave the room. Then collect a group of total strangers, right off the street, and have them sit around the sleeping person until he wakes up. Then have one of them say to him, "Bob, your plan is very, very risky. However, you've given us no choice but to try it. I only hope, for your sake, that you know what you're getting yourself into." Then they should file quietly out of the room.
Happy Birthday
State Senator Ken Yager Jan. 5th
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January 2017
People are finally showing some curiosity about the annuity option for retirement planning. I’ve been writing about life annuities for many years, but it was only after a seminar a few weeks ago that investors began asking a lot of questions about how these solid generators of guaranteed income-for-life Bob Tonachio work! Some of the most thought-provoking questions have been gathered up with answers supplied by insurers and other knowledgeable advisers.
How are annuities taxed? There are a few types of non-registered annuities… These annuities are taxed quite advantageously, and they’re widely accessible to individuals. Payments in a prescribed annuity are considered to be a blend of your own capital being paid back to you and interest. Tax is paid on the interest portion, says J.N., assistant vice-president of tax, retirement and estate planning services at Manulife. The formula used to calculate the taxable amount in an annuity payment includes a projected lifespan for the annuity buyer. Longer lifespan expectations will come into play in 2017, and that will result in more tax payable. Even so, J.N. points out that not even 10 per cent of the payments from the annuity would be taxable under 2017 rules for a 65-year-old male. “It’s not quite as good as it was, but it’s still very tax-effective,” he says. How are insurance agents and advisers compensated for selling annuities versus other products? A financial adviser and managing director at Vancouver’s Rogers Financial Group, says he would get a commission of roughly 2.5 per cent on money clients use to buy an annuity. By comparison, he says advisers and their firms could make more than that over just a few years on a fee-based account in which the client pays 1 per cent of assets. “Annuities don’t pay agents or advisors quite as well as other investment strategies” Usually a fixed annuity would not charge the client’s funds a commission. What age is best to buy an annuity? Most advisors suggests 60 and up. Why so late? Because the later you buy, the shorter the period of time the insurer selling an annuity expects to have to pay you. As a result, payments are higher than they would be if you bought at a younger age. “The older you are, the better it is.“and if you’re a man, it’s even better because your life expectancy is not as high as a woman’s.” How can I compare annuity rates? Part of the reason why annuities have somewhat limited popularity is that it’s extremely difficult to compare payouts from various insurers. You may be able to find an insurance company that offers an online annuity calculator for its own products. But comparing that payout with those from other companies based on your particular needs is hard to do on the Internet without having to supply your name and personal information. An independent agent who represents as many as 30 different companies directly… usually will be able to show you who offers the highest rates. Where can one buy them? Advisers licensed in your state of residence to sell insurance products offer them, and so do agents working directly for life insurance companies. The insurance arms of major banks may also sell annuities. Is there a do-it-yourself annuity that you can buy yourself? No. “Annuities are sold through a licensed, financial adviser,” says Kimberly Ezell, Robert James’s vice-president of Administration and Guaranteed Retirement Products. “There’s nothing that you can do yourself to bypass the licensed adviser.” Why do annuity rates vary so much between insurers? Insurers use the following factors to set returns on annuities: Age, gender, how much the client is putting in, interest rates and the company’s own financial position. It’s the latter variable that may explain why some companies are paying notably more than others at any given time. “Sometimes certain companies that don’t specialize in annuities decide they want to be aggressive on annuities, and sometimes they don’t,” Mrs. Ezell says. “There are lots of companies out there that would rather be pushing segregated funds because they think they can make more money with them. ”A company’s changing needs can alter its pricing on certain annuities over a short period of time. Mrs. Ezell says that not too long ago we got a quote for a 74-year-old client on a $250,000 an index annuity with annual payments of $21,000. When we checked again a month later, the quoted payment from the same company had fallen by $1,000 per year. We usually do not have this experience with quality companies offering guaranteed lifetime income accounts. The current offerings on Guaranteed Lifetime Income Accounts… 10% Bonus Interest day one and 6% minimum, guaranteed growth rate… Income guaranteed for both husband and wife for life! Bob Tonachio is President and CEO of Robert James & Associates, Inc. He may be contacted at 865-376-4925. He has been specializing in guaranteed annuity products for retirement accounts for over 30 years.
January 2017
Phone: 865-882-9340
www.roanereader.com
Things I’ve Learned
I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows. I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day. I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world. I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right. I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child. I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way. I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with. I've learned....That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand. I've learned.... That simple walks with my father on a summer night when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult. I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for. I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class. I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular. I've learned.... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved. I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts. I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you. I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds. I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
email: info@roanereader.com
15 The Roane Reader
Who is Louis Braille?
When was Louis Braille Born? Louis Braille was born on January 4th, 1809 Where was Louis Braille Born? Lousi Braille was born in Coupvray, a small town near Paris, France. How did Louis become blind? His father was a shoemaker and the young Louis enjoyed playing in his father's workshop. One day, while his father was not watching, Louis accidentally punctured his eye with an awl, a sharp tool used to punch holes in leather. Infection eventually set in and spread to his other eye, leaving Louis completely blind. Why is Louis Braille Famous? Louis Braille invented a tactile alphabet for the blind. In 1829, Louis Braille published the Method of Writing Words using six raised dots to represent the standard alphabet. The system of raised dots is called Braille and enables blind people of any age to read with the tips of their fingers. How is Braille read? People read Braille by moving their fingertips from left to right across the lines of dots. The raised dots represent the letters in the alphabet as well as punctuation.
Homemade Cough Drops
•1/2 cup coconut oil, room temperature •1/2 cup raw local honey •1 teaspoon of organic cinnamon (optional) 1. Scoop coconut oil into a mixer bowl and beat with a hand mixer or stand mixer until it’s whipped. 2. Add the honey and continue to whip until the honey and oil are mixed. 3. Add cinnamon if using. 4. Pour mixture into small ice cube trays 5. Freeze the coconut cough drops until they’re hard, about 20 minutes. 6. Pop the cough drops out of the ice cube tray and store in an airtight container in the refrigerator. About The Ingredients Raw Honey – Known to naturally suppress coughing and help with sleeping due to respiratory infections In clinical studies, honey has shown to be just as effective in alleviating coughs as over the counter cough medicine. Honey is also known to help reduce allergies. Taking a few teaspoons of local raw honey a day prior to pollen season can be effective in boosting your immunity to pollen! Coconut Oil – This healthy fat is rich in antioxidants and contains lauric acid, which is antibacterial and antiviral. Coconut oil can be used to help prevent colds by boosting the immune system. Once the cold is set in, coconut oil can help reduce the length of sickness and can be quite soothing when added to warm honey-lemon water or tea. Cinnamon – Cinnamon has been used in folklore and traditional medicine to help reduce cold and flu symptoms.
If, in a baseball game, the batter hits a ball splitting it right down the center with half the ball flying out of the park and the other half being caught, what is the final ruling?
S.L. BOWMAN & SONS, INC. MAYO SEEDS CLEANING UP? WE HAVE DUMPSTER GARDEN SUPPLIES RENTALS AVAILABLE & EQUIPMENT WE HAVE
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Phone: 865-882-9340
16 The Roane Reader
www.roanereader.com
DeLaCruz Named Quarterly Star Hannah DeLaCruz was selected as Quarterly Star at Victorian Square Assisted Living in Rockwood, Tennessee. Hannah resides in Rockwood and is attending Roane State Community College. She has been employed at Victorian Square since February 2016. Hannah was recognized by the residents and her co-workers for this honor because of her willingness to help others and for having a great attitude. Currently, Hannah works as a server in the Dietary Department but has been cross-training in the Housekeeping Department. Her co-workers describe her as friendly and willing to “step up” and help others. To be eligible for this award, an employee must exceed expectations and work in cooperation with other departments. Victorian Square is located at 241 S. Chamberlain Avenue in Rockwood.
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January 2017
The Letter
A letter by Michael Reed to the two teenagers who set the deadly wildfire in Gatlinburg. (Michael lost his wife and two daughters in the tragedy) People stop me on the streets everyday and ask me the same question: "What can we do for you?" My answer has been the same every time: "Love those closest to you a little stronger. Hold them a little tighter. Don't take a single moment for granted." As I learned of your arrests, I sat in silence for a very long time. You may be too young to understand this, but even through this tragedy I can feel God with me and my son. I have felt my wife and daughters touch me from Heaven. I have seen them give me signs that they are looking down on us. They are happy. They are at peace. They are together. As humans, it is sometimes hard to show grace. We hold grudges. We stay angry. We point the finger and feel we have to lay the blame somewhere. It's human nature and completely understandable. But I did not raise my children to live with hate. I did not teach my girls or my son to point the finger at others. John 8:7 says "Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone." Forgiveness isn't for you. It is for me. It is for my son. It is for Constance, Chloe, and Lily. It is for this community who all lost so much in this tragedy. I, as well as countless others, have been changed forever because of your actions. It is up to you to seek God's forgiveness. I hope someday you can seek it and be at peace. I forgive you. My son forgives you. My wife and beautiful girls forgive you. We know you didn't mean for this to happen. We know you would take it all back if you could. We will pray for you. Every day. We will pray for your parents and your family members. Every day. We will pray for your peace. We will show you grace. Why? Because that's what Jesus would do. Faith...Hope...Love... The greatest of these is Love.
In Case You Didn’t Know...
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar Coca-Cola used to contain cocaine when it was initially introduced All the Krispy Kreme donut stores collectively could make a doughnut stack as high as the Empire State Building in only 2 minutes Pepsi originally contained pepsin, (the same stuff in pepcid AC) thus the name The first letter Vanna White ever turned on the game show Wheel of Fortune was the letter "T." Border collies are the most intelligent breed of dog Tug of War was an Olympic event between 1900 and 1920 The average American drinks 400 glasses of milk in a year Canada beat Denmark 47-0 at the 1949 world hockey championships.
January 2017
Phone: 865-882-9340
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17 The Roane Reader
Ode To January
Dear Diet Diary As a Christmas present this year, my daughter, Cresley [what a thoughtful darling] bought for me a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in reasonable shape since being a high school cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Juan Antonio [ooh what a name] who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started. The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
Monday
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Juan Antonio waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god: he has curly hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Yippee! Juan Antonio gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Juan Antonio [call me Tony by now] was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my stomach was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FABULOUS week! My New Year resolutions will be easy.
Tuesday
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out of the door. Tony made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air. Later he put weights on it. My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Tony's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.
Wednesday
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. Tony was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for early in the morning; and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Tony put me on the stair 'monster'. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Tony told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other garbage too.
Thursday
Tony was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. That man then took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent a skinny woman to find me. Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine - which I sank.
Friday
I hate that man, Toady or whatever his name is, more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. He is a stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little bighead. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. Toady wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the flippin' barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on the health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
Saturday
That person, that Toady, left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing him made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
Sunday
I'm having the Church bus collect me up so I can go to services today and thank God that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter Cresley [the cruel, whingeing creep] will choose a gift for me that is fun: like root canal treatment or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!
"Mad" But Funny Scottish Nurse Breaks Record A New Year's Wish A nurse set himself on fire and ran 100 yards engulfed in a ball of flames. Keith Malcolm, from Aberdeen, Scotland, was doused in petrol before sprinting 259 feet ablaze to beat the previous fire-run record of 227ft. To claim the record the amateur stunt-man wore eight layers of protective clothing, including four layers of fireproof undergarments, a Formula One fireproof jacket and three overalls. He also wore three fire hoods and a helmet and coated himself in special protective "stunt gel" so he would not be harmed by the flames, which are believed to have reached 1,000C.
All Spruced Up
On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death.
As Bill was approaching mid-life, not only was he going bald, but he also had a large pot belly. The last straw came when he asked a woman co-worker out on a date, and she all but laughed at him. Determined to change his life, he joined a gym, started eating right, and got an expensive hair transplant and new clothes. Six months later he asked his female co-worker out, and this time she accepted. All dressed up for the date, looking better than he ever had. He stood poised to ring the woman’s doorbell, when a bolt of lightning struck him and knocked him off his feet. As he lay there dying, he turned his eyes toward the heavens and said, “Why, God, why now? After all I’ve been through, how could you do this to me?” From up above, there came a voice, “Bill? Is that you? I didn’t recognize you.”
A NEW CHURCH IN KINGSTON Jesus said, John 4: 23-24…and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him… Trinity Worship Center is now meeting at a new location on Sunday at 2pm. We are a non-denominational full Gospel church with an emphasis on discipleship. Pastors, Sam and Victoria Cox want to invite you to join us as we seek God’s presence and worship Him as He desires in a more personal setting. We also want to help you grow into your ministry calling. We believe in discipling people and getting them trained and activated in their callings, giftings, and anointings. So if you’ve been seeking God about “MORE” come experience it at Trinity Worship Center located in Kingston at 828 W. Race St. the corner of Hwy 70 and Patton Ferry Rd atop the American Legion Hall.
Phone: 865-882-9340
18 The Roane Reader
New Lease
email: info@roanereader.com
January 2017
The Roane Reader proudly presents THE WRITER'S PAGE
by: Clara Miles It is time, to start a new lease. To where, you can be released. From all of the things, in your past. To where, you can be free at last. Old things are past away. For this is, a new day. So, stop looking backward. To where that, you can move forward. For this is, a new year, new dawning is here. Keep looking forward, to the new things, you can do for the Lord. Where you can receive, your reward. For he is a rewarder, of them, that diligently, seek his face. We must, seek his face, while down here, running this race.
A Tradition On New Year’s Eve by: Donna Kay Reynolds In time square thousands gather on new year’s eve Following a tradition which will never shop or leave While some gather together in front of their TV at home Others with champagne in hand at parties roam All awaiting for the stroke of twelve For the lover’s kiss that is a tradition as well The new year will arrive with new plans in the heart As lovers kiss as midnight start As the ball falls with laughter and cheer Everyone wishing each other a happy new year
Praying for Mom by: Abby Stout age 10 As I pray every day for my Mom the sun still glows into my eyes I see the show of my Mom but when I leave my heart still knows My mom is nice and kind to me and my family that she formed in her hands of righteousness which is God so bless my mom let her be. AMEN.
Jerry’s Used Furniture Furniture - Appliances & Gift Items WE BUY GOOD USED FURNITURE ONE PIECE OR ENTIRE ROOMS
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The Saints by: Gary Spreacker The saints of ev'ry nation Have only this one plea: The Word of God has spoken, His blood was shed for thee. No hope we find within us, No merit to atone. It's by His grace He freely Redeemed them for His own. By His own blood He purchased The church who is His bride. He cleansed and justified her And calls her to His side: His everlasting cov'nant, Before the world was made, To bring His saints to glory On Christ their sins were laid. One day they'll bow before Him Dressed in the robes of white: To praise His name forever, The Lamb of God, their Light. He satisfied the Father And sits upon His throne. Through their sins be as scarlet, They shall be white as snow. When things seem dark and lonely, His Light there shines for me. O Lord, I need you ever. Open my eyes to see. My hope is fixed in Jesus, His righteousness and love. Though all the world forsake me, I'm covered with His blood.
Thank You Lord Ephesians 5:20
by: Katie Bailey Randolph At the end of the day when I kneel and pray and say, "thank you, Lord", I think of the night when I was saved and I say, "thank you, Lord". I think of the time when I said "I do" to a man you gave me, so kind and true, and I say, "thank you, Lord". I think of the time you made me a mom, and gave us the child I had wished upon and I say, "thank you, Lord". I think when the grandchildren came along and you gave our hearts a brand new song, and I say, "thank you, Lord". I think of the friendships you've given me; They make me feel like family. And I say, "thank you, Lord". I think of the days you've given me grace, and preserved the memories time can't erase and I say, "thank you, Lord". I think of the day in that fair land when I look upon your nail scarred hands, and know the price you had to pay, I'll kneel down and once again, say, "thank you, Lord". AMEN.
Danger Ahead by: Elsie Wyrick
I was watching the news on tv and they were telling about the two young boys who went on a iced over creek, probably not even understanding the danger of thin ice and it cost their lives. Now, spiritually, may I ask you, are you even thinking of going on in your sins, your ungodly ways even knowing how far out you are? Please don’t be to foolish with your eternal life. Its hell or heaven. What is your choice?
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January 2017
Phone: 865-882-9340
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email: info@roanereader.com
19 The Roane Reader
Prayers for Baby Kayden
--------------------------Kayden goes to his doctor every month, to St. Judes affiliate in Johnson City every month, he has a home nurse from Children’s Hospital visit him weekly, and has to go to St. Judes in Memphis every 3 months. Although the brain tumor has shrunk, it’s still there. Please continue to pray for Kayden and for God to completely heal him. Kayden Christopher is receiving his chemo orally and is presently doing good. The latest MRI shows the tumor has shrunk even more. The tumor is still inoperable, and he has lost some of his hearing because of the chemo. Kayden’s website is: Prayers for Baby Kayden
If you wish to send any mail to Kayden or contribute to his fund, he has an account at Enrichment Federal Credit Union He also has a Go Fund Me account. His address is: Kayden Christopher 197 Shady Dr. Harriman, TN 37748
We know God can heal Kayden, and with your prayers, maybe God will intervene and perform more miracles on Baby Kayden.
Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older:
Nationally Certified as a Consumer Bankruptcy Specialist
www.msw-law.com
• Death is the number 1 killer in die world. • Life is sexually transmitted. • Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. • Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years. • Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing. • All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. •In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal. • Don't worry about old age: it doesn't last that long.
Phone: 865-882-9340
20 The Roane Reader
Stroke--
This Information Could Save Your Life
Remember the 1st Three Letters... S. T. R.
www.roanereader.com
THE KNOTS PRAYER Dear God: Please untie the knots that are in my mind, my heart, and my life; Remove the have nots, the cannots, and the do nots that I have in my mind. Erase the will nots, may nots, and might nots that may find a home in my heart. Release me from the could nots, would nots, and should nots that obstruct my life. And most of all, Dear God, I ask that you remove from my mind, my heart, and my life all of the am nots that I have allowed to hold me back. In Jesus name, Amen –author unknown but to God
email: info@roanereader.com
January 2017
The Month After Christmas 'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
STROKE IDENTIFICATION: During a BBQ, a woman stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) ...she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber). appeared a bit shaken up, Jane went about enjoying herself the rest I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared; of the evening. The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared, Jane's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00 PM Jane passed away.) She had The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the And the way I'd never said, 'No thank you, please.' signs of a stroke, perhaps Jane would be with us today. Some don't As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. And prepared once again to do battle with dirt A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said I said to myself, as I only can the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting 'You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!' the patient medically cared for within three hours, which is tough. So - away with the last of the sour cream dip, RECOGNIZING A STROKE Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' steps, STR. Read and Learn! Every last bit of food that I like must be banished Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortu'Till all the additional ounces have vanished. nately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may I won't have a cookie - not even a lick. suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize “I can do all things through I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick. Christ which strengtheneth me” the symptoms of a stroke. Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three Philippians 4:13 I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, simple questions: I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. *Ask the individual to SMILE. I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore. *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE But isn't that what January is for? (Coherently. I.e. It is sunny out today?) *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS. Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet! emergency number immediately and describe the symptoms to the Jan. 25th dispatcher. Some reflections on aging: NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your other that is also an indication of a stroke. age and start bragging about it.
Happy Birthday
Haylee Wells
Think About This One...
A man had a habit of grumbling at the food his wife placed before him at family meals. Then he would ask the blessing. One day after his usual combination complaint-prayer, his little girl asked, “Daddy, does God hear us when we pray?” “Why, of course,” he replied. “He hears us every time we pray.” She pauses on this a moment, and asked, “Does he hear everything we say the rest of the time?” “Yes, dear, every word,” he replied, encouraged that he had inspired his daughter to be curious about spiritual matters. However, his pride was quickly turned to humility… “Then which does God believe?”
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1919 Briggs & Stratton Side Shaft Gasoline Engine (Runs)
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.
1950’s Electric Lawnmower $75
If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
(865) 224-0431
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft... Today, it's called golf.
CALL
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
January 2017
Phone: 865-882-9340
Just The Facts, Mam
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21 The Roane Reader
Why is the President allowed to pardon criminals?
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is The Constitution gives to the President...the power to grant reprieves and pardons. As this power has "screeched." been exercised, from time immemorial, by the executive of that nation whose language is our language, and to whose judicial institutions ours bear a close resemblance; we adopt their principles respecting Only 55 percent of all Americans know that the sun is a star the operation and effect of a pardon.... Kissing can aid in reducing tooth decay. This is because the extra And while many jurists have found this interpretation appropriate, others were disturbed by the idea saliva helps in keeping the mouth clean of bestowing upon an American President the broad powers of an English king. As Justice McClean In 1929, the Coca-Cola slogan was "The Pause That Refreshes." wrote in dissent in Ex parte Wells, he had doubts that it was “safe for a republican chief magistrate... to be influenced by the..power of the British sovereign.” Bamboo plants can grow up to 36 inches in a day. In any event, the power has always been, and remains today, a broad one, and Constitutional scholars Since the United Nations was founded in 1945, there have been 140 have identified at least three purposes for it: (1) “to temper justice with mercy,” (2) to better execute wars public policy, such as “to obtain testimony of accomplices;” and (3) as Alexander Hamilton put it in Goat meat contains up to 45 percent less saturated fat than chicken The Federalist No. 74, to ensure peace “in seasons of insurrection or rebellion.” meat And, accordingly, over the years, presidents have continuously used the pardon, usually for one of these Chef Boyardee is actually a real person. His real name is Hector purposes. For example, both George Washington (16 clemencies) and John Adams (21 clemencies) pardoned people convicted of treason or other crimes during the Whiskey Rebellion. Boiardi and he was born in northern Italy in 1898 In 1989, the space shuttle Discovery carried 32 fertilized chicken Thomas Jefferson pardoned a person convicted of sedition for his criticism of the federal government, and James Madison pardoned the Governor of Michigan Territory, who had been sentenced to death for eggs into orbit surrendering Fort Detroit. The most recycled product in the world is the automobile. Other notable clemency include President Buchanan pardoning Brigham Young and other Mormons in Before the 17th century, carrots used to be the color purple 1858 for their role in the Utah War (which, among other things, included a massacre of 100 civilians on William Taft who was the U.S. president between 1909-1913 once a wagon train to California). got stuck in the White House bathtub Likewise, the 20th century also saw a number high profile clemencies. In 1971 President Nixon If all the Oreo cookies ever sold were stacked on top of one another, commuted Jimmy Hoffa’s sentences for jury tampering and mail fraud. Then shortly after, in 1974, President Ford controversially turned around and pardoned former President Richard Nixon, even they would be as high as 13.3 million Sears Towers though he had yet to be officially charged with a crime. Ancient Egyptians kissed with their noses instead of with their lips President Ford also restored Confederate General Robert E. Lee’s citizenship rights (posthumously Krispy Kreme makes five million doughnuts a day obviously) and offered conditional amnesty to over 50,000 men who had illegally avoided the Vietnam War draft. The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross Patty Hearst, the kidnapped socialite turned Symbionese Liberation Army terrorist had her sentence There were no red colored M&Ms from 1976 to 1987 commuted by President Carter in 1979 and received a full pardon from President Clinton in 2001. In 1681, the last dodo bird died As you can imagine, not everyone is pleased with every clemency, and often the president’s motives for granting a pardon or commuting a sentence are called into question; for example, when Nixon There are over 600 different pasta shapes commuted Hoffa’s sentence, many thought it was done in exchange for the union vote in 1972. Some people start to sneeze if they are exposed to sunlight or have Other infamous clemencies include two pardons granted by President Clinton: to his friend Marc Rich a light shined into their eye (for tax evasion and illegal trading) and his own brother Roger Clinton, Jr. (for cocaine possession). In 1989, twenty-three people were hired in Jacksonville Florida just Similarly, President G.W. Bush’s commutation of the sentence of his Vice-President’s aide, Scooter to flush toilets so the pipes would not freeze Libby, for perjury and lying to the FBI relating to the leak of the identity of a CIA operative, was Lake Baikal is the oldest freshwater lake on Earth, having formed strongly condemned by members of the opposite political party. between 20 and 25 million years ago Regardless, clemency marches on, and by the end of 2016, President Obama has commuted the sentencFrom 1939-1942, there was an undersea post office in the Bahamas es of more than 1,000 individuals, the majority of which remained in jail or prison for nonviolent drug crimes, often with sentences far harsher than someone would get for committing the same crime today. An owl has three eyelids Or, in some cases, individuals who by the law of the land in 2016 wouldn’t have been considered to Instead of a birthday cake, many children in Russia are given a have committed a crime at all. birthday pie
Here are 10 things to do for your wife every year.
1. Take a trip alone with her. 2. Make a big deal about her birthday. 3. Give her a weekend away. 4. Get dressed up (suit and tie) and take her on a date. 5. Pray continually for her and with her. 6. Take her to the place of your first date. 7. Give her a week off from "mom duties." 8. Take her to a show. 9. Write a love letter to her. 10. Give her a head to toe massage without expecting anything.
Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom - George Washington Carver
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22 The Roane Reader
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MONTAGE: THE MEDIA’S 10 MOST MORTIFYING MOMENTS OF 2016
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January 2017
THE PHANTOM (Can You Find Me¿)
In a year known mostly for mayhem, misfortune, and madness, America’s media quickly proved Find this place and WIN a years subscription to The Roane Reader themselves fit for narrating this first draft of history. All too often, when the news got tough, the TV Go to www.roanereader.com/thephantom news got weird. PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, Embarrassingly weird. EMAIL(optional) and PHONE NUMBER. ANSWERS MUST BE VERY SPECIFIC!! While picking 10 of the most egregious examples was no easy task, we’ve whittled thousands of clips Entries that fail to provide all this information will not qualify! down to four minutes’ worth that we think represent 2016 in a (really disfigured) nutshell. Without further ado, here are the media’s 10 most mortifying moments of 2016. 10. After Donald Trump’s underdog victory, many in the media looked for scapegoats. But TBS’s Samantha Bee went the furthest — blaming white people for “ruining” America. 9. Hillary notoriously avoided direct questions from the press all year. So when Lester Holt became one of the few to somehow score a sit down with Mrs. Clinton, his softballs-only interview was journalistically humiliating. 8. Cuba’s long time dictator expired this year, and many in America’s media … mourned. 7. Perhaps not historically significant, but a particularly comical case of media malpractice came when an enchanted Andrea Mitchell breathlessly recapped the “magical” evening she was having at a Hillary rally. 6. Over on PBS, David Brooks and David Corn somehow connected the dots between Ted Cruz and Satan. 5. After the devastating mass slaughter in Orlando, the media embraced its unfortunate habit of speculating where things went wrong — looking everywhere, it seemed, besides Islamic terrorism. 4. After another tragedy — this time an alligator snatching a toddler from a Disney World beach-front — CNN’s Brooke Baldwin thankfully had the presence of mind to ask a local animal expert … what the alligator was thinking. 3. On MSNBC, the now-canceled Melissa Harris Perry worried that Flint, Mich., might become Obama’s … Fugitive Slave Act? 2. After Orlando, many progressive congressmen staged a sit-in on the floor of the House of Representatives. The media, you might be unsurprised to discover, went absolutely bananas with delight. 1. If there was one thing the media was absolutely sure of in 2016, it was … Hillary Clinton’s inevitable landslide victory. Whoops.
Stating The Facts.... There are some hospitals in Shanghai that have issued a rule that a nurse must wear lipstick while on duty Thirteen percent of the human population reside in deserts In 1958, the Crayola crayon color "Prussian Blue" was changed to "Midnight Blue" by the request of teachers as kids could not relate to Prussian history Americans on average use about 580 pounds of paper per year per person Wild turkeys can run at speeds of up to 25 miles per hour Annually, fires that occur at home kill more Americans than all natural disasters combined The only sound Seahorses make is a small clicking or popping sound during feeding or courtship The Baltimore Orioles opened the 1988 baseball season by losing the first 21 games and 107 altogether for the entire season
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Happy Birthday
Bobby Shillings Jan. 25th
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Last Months Winner No Winner
Here is a Hint: Even though he is under a Pansy this soldier was mighty brave!
Mark Twain - Strange Prediction Mark Twain was born on the day of the appearance of Halley's Comet in 1835, and died on the day of its next appearance in 1910. He himself predicted this in 1909, when he said, 'I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it.'
January 2017
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Steelers are on top The Pittsburgh Steelers (6–2) have won the most Super Bowls with six championships, while both the Dallas Cowboys (5–3) and the San Francisco 49ers (5–1) have five wins. Dallas, Pittsburgh, New England, and Denver have the most Super Bowl appearances with eight, while the Buffalo Bills (0–4) have the most consecutive appearances with four losses in a row from 1990 to 1993. The Miami Dolphins are the only other team to have at least three consecutive appearances: 1972–74. The Denver Broncos (3–5) have lost a record five Super Bowls. The New England Patriots (4–4), the Minnesota Vikings (0–4) and the Bills have lost four. The record for consecutive wins is two and is shared by seven franchises: the 1966–67 Green Bay Packers, the 1972–73 Miami Dolphins, the 1974–75 and 1978–79 Pittsburgh Steelers (the only team to accomplish this feat twice), the 1988–89 San Francisco 49ers, the 1992–93 Dallas Cowboys, the 1997–98 Denver Broncos, and the 2003–04 New England Patriots. Among those, Dallas (1992–93; 1995) and New England (2001; 2003–04) are the only teams to win three out of four consecutive Super Bowls. The 1972 Dolphins' win is the only perfect season in NFL history. The only team with multiple Super Bowl appearances and no losses is the Baltimore Ravens, who in winning Super Bowl XLVII defeated and replaced the 49ers in that position. Four current NFL teams have never appeared in a Super Bowl, including franchise relocations and renaming: the Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, Jacksonville Jaguars, and Houston Texans, though both the Browns (1964) and Lions (1957) had won NFL championship games prior to the creation of the Super Bowl.
Top Ten Funny and Amusing Quotations From and About the NFL
23 The Roane Reader
Super Bowl Ll
Tebow: Football Star Tebow, a former football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire. A woman is standing three floors up on ledge holding her pet cat in her arms. 'Hey, lady, 'yells Tebow, 'Throw me the cat.' 'No, 'she cries, 'It's too far.' 'I play football, I can catch him.' The smoke is pouring from the windows, and finally, the woman waves to Tebow, kisses her cat goodbye, and then tosses the moggy down onto the street. Tebow keeps his eye on the cat as it comes hurtling down toward him. The feline, bounces off an awning and Tebow runs into the street and catches the cat. He jumps six feet into the air and makes a spectacular one handed catch. The crowd that has gathered to watch the fire, breaks into cheers. Tebow does a little dance, lifts the cat above his head, wiggles his knees back and forth, then Tebow ' spikes' the cat into the pavement.
1.I had pro offers from the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers, Superbowl Tickets who were pretty hard up for linemen in those days. If I had gone into professional football the name Jerry Ford might have been a A guy finally got tickets to the household word today. - President Gerald Ford Super Bowl, but his seats were 2.I just wrap my arms around the whole backfield and peel 'em one in the nosebleed section -- but by one until I get to the ball carrier. Him, I keep. - DT Big Daddy he didn't care, he had always dreamed of going to the Super Lipscomb on his tackling technique 3.He is the only man I ever saw who ran his own interference. - Steve Bowl. So he wants to find a seat closer to where he can see better. Owen on Bronko Nagurski He finds this seat toward the 4.I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first. - front and he asks the guy next to Saints RB, George Rogers it whether anyone is sitting there. 5.I'm a light eater. As soon as it's light, I start to eat. - Art Donovan The guy replies, "No, because 6.The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them my wife just died." "Well," says the first man, "why didn't you would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller 7.Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper just bring a friend or relative?" The guy replied, "Oh, they're all and 10 percent mental. - Doug Plank, former-Chicago Bears at the funeral." 8.Rapport? You mean like, 'You run as fast as you can, and I'll throw it as far as I can?' - QB Jeff Kemp on his rapport with WR Jerry Rice 9.We're as clean as any team. We wash our hands before we hit anybody. - Nate Newton 10.I always enjoy animal acts. - President Calvin Coolidge when asked if he wanted to meet the Chicago Bears
“We in reality only know when we doubt a little. With knowledge comes doubt.” - Johann Wolfgang Goethe
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Happy Birthday Stanley Hammock Jan. 31st
The Super Bowl is the annual championship game of the National Football League (NFL), the highest level of professional American football in the world. The game culminates a season that begins in the late summer of the previous calendar year. Normally, Roman numerals are used to identify each game, rather than the year in which it is held. For example, Super Bowl I was played on January 15, 1967, following the 1966 regular season. The single exception to this rule is Super Bowl 50, which was played on February 7, 2016, following the 2015 regular season. The next game, Super Bowl LI, scheduled for February 5, 2017, will follow the 2016 regular season. The game was created as part of a merger agreement between the NFL and its then-rival league, the American Football League (AFL). It was agreed that the two leagues' champion teams would play in the AFL–NFL World Championship Game until the merger was to officially begin in 1970. After the merger, each league was re-designated as a "conference", and the game has since been played between the conference champions to determine the NFL's league champion. Currently, the National Football Conference (NFC) leads the league with 26 wins to 24 wins for the American Football Conference (AFC). The Pittsburgh Steelers have the most Super Bowl victories with six. The day on which the Super Bowl is played, now considered by some an unofficial American national holiday is called "Super Bowl Sunday". It is the second-largest day for U.S. food consumption, after Thanksgiving Day. In addition, the Super Bowl has frequently been the most-watched American television broadcast of the year; the seven most-watched broadcasts in U.S. television history are Super Bowls. In 2015, Super Bowl XLIX became the most-watched American television program in history with an average audience of 114.4 million viewers, the fifth time in six years the game had set a record, starting with the 2010 Super Bowl, which itself had taken over the number-one spot held for 27 years by the final episode of M*A*S*H. The Super Bowl is also among the most-watched sporting events in the world, almost all audiences being North American, and is second to soccer's UEFA Champions League final as the most watched annual sporting event worldwide. The NFL restricts the use of its "Super Bowl" trademark; it is frequently called the Big Game or other generic terms by non-sponsoring corporations. Because of the high viewership, commercial airtime during the Super Bowl broadcast is the most expensive of the year, leading to companies regularly developing their most expensive advertisements for this broadcast. As a result, watching and discussing the broadcasts commercials has become a significant aspect of the event.
Q: What do you call a 49ers fan holding a bottle of champagne after Super Bowl XLVII. A: Waiter.
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24 The Roane Reader
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The Christmas Mess Twas the day after Christmas, When all through the place There were arguments and depressionEven Mom had a long face. The stockings hung empty, And the house was a mess; The new clothes didn't fit... And dad was under stress. The family was irritable, And the children-no one could please; Because the instructions for the swing set Were in Chinese! The bells no longer jingled, And no carolers came around; The sink was stacked with dishes, And the tree was turning brown.(except for Ginas tree, because she ordered it from my moms Amway business). The stores were full of people Returning things that fizzled and failed, And the shoppers were discouraged Because everything they'd bought was now on half-price sale! Twas the day AFTER ChristmasThe spirit of joy had disappeared; The hope on the horizon Was twelve bowl games the first day of the New Year!
A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas, so she stops at a gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door herself. She returns outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant comes out to see how the blonde is faring. Outside the car, the blonde is moving the hanger around and around while another blonde inside the car is saying, "A little more to the left...a little more to the right!..."
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January 2017
Facts To Make You Smarter in 2017
Bats sleep during the day and feed at night. The place that bats sleep Take twelve, fine, full-grown in is called the "roost." months, see that these are The puma and the leopard are the highest jumping mammals. They thoroughly free from all old are able to reach a height of 16.5 feet memories of bitterness, rancour, The chances of getting a cavity is higher if candy is eaten slowly hate and jealousy; cleanse them throughout the day compared to eating it all at once and then brushcompletely from every clinging ing your teeth spite: pick off all specks of The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every pettiness and littleness. year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account In summary, ensure that these the weight of all the books that would occupy the building months are freed from all the past; have them as fresh and On average, a car driver will swear or blaspheme 32,025 times in clean as when they first came their lifetime while driving from the great storehouse of The average ear grows 0.01 inches in length every year Time. Buckingham Palace has over six hundred rooms Cut these months into thirty or Male owls weigh less and are smaller than female owls thirty-one equal parts. This batch Hypnotism is banned by public schools in San Diego will keep for just one year. The city of Las Vegas has the most hotel rooms in the world Do not attempt to make up the whole batch at one time but Cows drink anywhere from 25-50 gallons of water each day prepare one day at a time, as In the United Kingdom, three million people play bingo every year follows: Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms Into each day put twelve parts of faith, eleven of patience, ten of courage, nine of work, eight of hope, seven of fidelity, six of liberality, five of kindness, four of rest, three of prayer, two of meditation, and one well selected resolution. Vigorously add in a teaspoonful of good spirits, a dash of fun, a pinch of folly, a sprinkling of play, and a heaped cupful of good humor. Mix well and cook thoroughly in an honest heat; garnish with a few smiles and add a sprig of joy; then serve with quietness, unselfishness, and cheerfulness.
Happy Birthday Dianne Branham Jan. 4th
of their hands.
Every square inch of the human body has about 19,000,000 skin cells In 1994, 7-Eleven coined the term "brain freeze." The word was developed to explain the feeling people get when drinking a Slurpee. A swordfish can live as long as 25 years and weigh up to 1,200 pounds Due to eating habits in the USA, one in three children born in the year 2000 have a chance of getting type II diabetes The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1. Each honeycomb in Honeycomb cereal has seven holes The Nile river is 6,690 kilometers long By law, information collected in a U.S. census must remain confidential for seventy-two years Eighty percent of 10 year old girls in the USA go on a diet
January 2017
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Winter Trivia
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Tennessee Trivia
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25 The Roane Reader
Pet Peeves
Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the (How much you know about the 1. Speak English: You live in AMERICA. You manage an AMERIgreat state you live in!) mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there. CAN store. If you want me to spend my AMERICAN currency in your store, speak the AMERICAN language while I'm there or else 1. What is the name of the Dentists have recommended a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet from my AMERICAN butt will not be back. utopian community founded in a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. 1880 in Scott County for young 2. Don't bother me: Why do waiters and waitresses feel like they 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television. (I have!) English gentlemen? need to interrupt my meal by coming by my table every few minutes You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. 2. What is the present name of asking "Is everything ok?" "Do you need anything?" "Everything Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are 50 years old or older. Burrville, named in 1801 in still ok?" It drives me crazy! If I need something I will let you know. Leave me alone and let me enjoy my meal in peace. honor of Aaron Burr? The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum. The king of hearts on playing cards is the only king without a 3. What city is recognized as 3. Have a nice day: Don't tell me that after 5:00 p.m. My day is nearly over. It's too late to wish me a nice day. It's evening. You Tennessee's oldest town? mustache. sound like a robot put on auto-pilot and I can tell by your flat mono4. Where does Tennessee rank in Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. tone you don't really mean it anyway. If you did, you would say size among all the states? Apples are more efficient than caffeine in waking you up in the "Have a nice evening" or "Have a nice night." 5. What is the only town in the morning. 4. Chewing gum: Do people who sit on committees such as United States with elevated The little plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. city councils, county commissions, school boards, etc. ever see second-floor sidewalks in the themselves on TV? (such as BBB TV replays of their meetings). Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin. downtown business area? Quit chewing gum for Heaven's sake! I counted 6 at one meeting The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. 6. The state of Tennessee boasts the other night! You sit there slapping your jaws together looking approximately how many incor- like a cow chewing it's cud. Throw the stuff in the trash can before Walt Disney was afraid of mice. porated cities? you sit down. Very unprofessional. The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing their 7. Near what present day town hands in jelly 5. Being late: Do you really think your time is more valuable than did the Cherokee Indians have mine? Do you really think I have nothing better to do than sit and "Auld Lang Syne" was written by Robert Burns in a tollgate to exact tribute from wait on you? When we have set a time to meet, be there at the 1741 and literally means 'old long since,' or 'days pioneer travelers in the 18th time we have set, not 10-20-30 minutes later! Being late is rude, century? inconsiderate, disrespectful, and inexcusable. gone by.' 8. What hamburger chain began Learner Hypnotist Puts Himself into a Trance This song is traditionally sung in many countries in Chattanooga in 1932? at midnight on January 1st, signaling the 9. Tennessee is made up of how A newly trained hypnotist accidentally put himself into a trance for five hours while practicing in front of a mirror. 'You just couldn't beginning of the New Year. many counties? ================================== 10. How long & wide is the make it up,' say Will and Guy. Apparently Helmut Kichmeier, 27, was found by his wife, Joanna, state? staring into thin air in their north London home, we have learned. ANSWERS: 1. Rugby; Clinton; Mr Kichmeier had learned to put himself into a trance to help him From Jonesborough; 34th; Morris- swallow swords on stage. He had been taught the skill by hypnothertown; Around 300; Rockwood; apist Dr Ray Roberts to assist in a new act for the Circus of Horrors Krystal; 95; 432 miles long--106 show. miles wide. However, as he practiced the skill in front of the mirror at 10am he set himself into a deep sleep until 3pm, when he was found by his God, grant me the wife. It was only after she phoned Dr Roberts and put the receiver to senility to forget Mr Kichmeier's head that he was able to be talked out of the trance.
Happy 2017
The Roane Reader
Justin Stout & Kay Christopher
Celebrate Recovery! Every Tuesday Celebrate Recovery meets at 6 pm at Kingston First Baptist Church. It's a faith based program for anyone with a hurt, habit, or a hang-up.
Everyone is welcome!
the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do, And the eyesight to tell the difference.
Happy Birthday
david shillings Jan. 19th
His wife reported, 'I tried to ask him what was wrong but he didn't answer and it was then I looked at the sofa behind him and saw a book named "Hypnosis Medicine of the Mind." It was opened on page 45 and a chapter named hypnotic anesthesia and I realized there was something wrong. It was only then I noticed a letter next to the book a letter from his mentor, Dr Roberts, and I knew what I had to do.'
26 The Roane Reader
Phone: 865-882-9340
10 Fun things to do in the snow – Outside!
1. Go sledding! Get a sled, make a sled out of cardboard, and just go! 2. Build a snowman. Roll some balls, big or small. Build a snowman together. Find rocks for eyes, twigs for arms, and wrap him up warm with a hat and scarf! 3. Have a snowball fight! Show the kids how to make a snowball. Have target practice. Set up something to throw at and let the kids get some practice in throwing! 4. Build a snow fort. Pack the walls together to build a safe place for hide out! We have a brick mold builder that the boys use in the sandbox and for snow! 5. While you’re out shoveling the driveway or sidewalk, let the kids help! Or have them make their own paths… maybe a snow maze! 6. Stomp through the snow and make footprints! 7. Instead of making your own footprints, look for animal prints! Do you find rabbit prints? Squirrels? Deer? What’s in your backyard? 8. Get creative outside in the cold! Paint the snow! Make it colorful! 9. After a fresh snowfall, go lay out in it and make some snow angels together. Make a whole family! 10. And, one that will surely be a hit with my boys. Load. Dump. Scoop. Pour. Do it in the snow! When you’re getting outside in the cold weather, be sure to dress warm and take precautions! And be prepared to warm them up when you get inside! Have a cup of hot chocolate waiting for them with little marshmallows on top!
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Wind Facts For Kids
January is here and it is the beginning of the New Year. There are 31 days in January. Here is a poem to help you remember how many days there are in each month. 30 days hath September, April, June and November. All the rest have 31, but, February’s the shortest one. With 28 days most of the time, Until Leap Year gives us 29. Here is an even easier way to remember. Make a fist. Starting on your index finger knuckle, recite the months on the knuckles and the spaces between the knuckles. When you get to the little finger, start over again at your index finger knuckle and keep reciting until you reach December. The knuckles are the 31-day months. The spaces in-between are the 30-day months (except February, which has only 28). Try it and you will find it very easy. If you were born in January, you share your birthday month with many famous people, including Benjamin Franklin and flag maker Betsy Ross. Civil War heroes, Robert E. Lee and General Stonewall Jackson were also born in January. In addition, Martin Luther King, Jr., President Franklin D. Roosevelt and Elvis Presley were born in this first month of the year.
Happy Birthday Savannah “Rosie” Bowlin Jan. 6th
Roane and Loudon Counties Early Head Start/Head Start/PreK Mid-East Head Start is taking Childrens' Applications for the 2015/2016 Program Year Head Start is an early childhood federal program that promotes the school readiness of children ages birth to five from income eligible families by enhancing their cognitive, social, and emotional development. We also serve pregnant women and their families
To complete an application or to get information please call the Head Start Admin Center in Kingston at 865-376-2308 ext 222 Monday -Thursday Phone 865-376-2308 865-882-0808 865-882-8737
January 2017
•Wind is the flow of gases, here on Earth it refers to the movement of air. •It is caused by differences in air pressure. Air rushes from high pressure areas to lower ones. •Short bursts of wind moving at high speeds are known as gusts. •Depending on their strength, winds can be known as a breeze, gale, storm or hurricane. •Wind direction is given by the direction from which the wind comes. •Weather vanes are used to indicate wind direction. •Anemometers are used to measure wind speed. •A knot is a unit often used to measure wind speed. •Sea breezes occur because heat from the Sun takes longer to warm the sea than the land, creating a difference in air pressure. •Wind can provide energy through the use of wind turbines. •Sailing ships use wind to power their movement with the help of sails. •Many sports and recreational activities make use of the wind, these include kite boarding, wind surfing, sailing and paragliding. •Saturn and Neptune feature the fastest planetary winds in the Solar System.
Mid-East Community Action Agency
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P.O. Box 790 Mid-East Kingston, TN 37763 Community Action Agency www.mecaa.net
Mid-East Community Action Agency does not discriminate on the basis of national origin, sex, disability or age in its programs, activities or employment.
Hey Kids!
Do you have a poem or short story you’ve written?
Send it to us at 1134 Georgia St. Harriman, TN 37748 and we’ll print it!
Public Stargazing Tamke-Allan Observatory, Harriman
Every 1st & 3rd Saturday all year long. Public is welcome! The Tamke-Allan Observatory is located on Caney Creek Road - turn left onto Keller Road (near the TWRA boat launch area) and the road to the observatory is on the left. Amateur astronomers come to Tamke-Allan Observatory the 1st & 3rd Saturday of each month all year long, inviting the public to join them to observe the stars.
Gates open at 7 pm
For more info: www.roanestate.edu/obs or contact David Fields at 865-927-5155 or fieldsde@roanestate.edu for details.
January 2017
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Unusual World Wide Customs To Celebrate New Year 1.Baby New Year Tradition - The tradition of using a baby to signify the New Year was started around 600 BC by the ancient Greeks, who, at the start of a year would carry a baby around in a basket. The purpose of it was to honor Dionysus, the God of Fertility and symbolize his annual rebirth. This custom is still practiced in parts of Greece. 2.Hogmanay - The New Year in Scotland is called Hogmanay. Some people in Scotland follow a ritual that appears quite strange but it actually has a great significance. One can find barrels of tar set on fire and gradually rolled down the streets in the villages of Scotland. This ritual symbolizes that the old year is burned up and New Year is going to begin. 3.Burning "Mr Old Year" - In Columbia, Cuba and Puerto Rico families stuff a life-size male doll with things and then they dress it up in old clothes donated from each family member. At the stroke of midnight, this "Mr Old Year" is set on fire. This is done with the simple belief that a doll thus stuffed have bad memories or sadness associated with them, and that the burning of these will help one to do away with past unhappiness and usher in happiness in life with the coming year. 4.Eating Noodles - Late on the evening of December 31st , people from Japan might eat a bowl of buckwheat noodles called "toshikoshisoba" [year-crossing noodles] and listen for the sound of the Buddhist temple bells, which are rung 108 times at midnight. The sound of these bells is said to purify the listeners of the 108 sins or evil passions that 'plague every human being'. 5.Eating 12 Grapes - In Spain people eat 12 grapes as the clock strikes midnight (one each time the clock chimes) on New Year's Eve. This peculiar ritual originated in the 20th century when freak weather conditions resulted in an unseasonable bumper harvest of grapes. Not able to decide what to do about so many grapes at Christmas time, the King of Spain and the grape growers came up with the idea of the New Year ritual. 6.Gifts in Shoes - In Greece children leave their shoes by the fireside on New Year's Day, which, incidentally, is also the Festival of Saint Basil in Greece, with the hope that Saint Basil, who was famous for his kindness, will come and fill their shoes with gifts. 7.Carrying a Suitcase - In Venezuela, Argentina, Bolivia, and Mexico, those with hopes of traveling in the New Year carry a suitcase around the house at midnight. Some people may even carry it around the block to ensure traveling at greater distances. 8.Burning Crackers - People in China believe that there are evil spirits that roam the earth. So on New Year they burn crackers to scare the evil spirits. The doors and windows of many homes in China can be seen sealed with paper. This is to keep the evil demons out. Foods - It was thought that one could affect the luck they would have throughout the coming year by what they did or ate on the first day of the year.
New York Times Square Celebrations
Only in America Strange Story but True Story of the Cigars A man from Charlotte, North Carolina, having purchased a case of very expensive cigars, insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile, the man filed a claim against the insurance company, stating that the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires'. The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The man sued - and won. In delivering the ruling the judge, agreeing that the claim was frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining what it considered to be 'unacceptable fire' , and was obliged to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he had lost 'in the fires'. After he cashed the cheque, however, the company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
The ancient Persians gave New Year's gifts of eggs, which symbolized productiveness.
Outreach Program The Outreach program needs items donated to make them available to needy people in our area. Clothing - all sizes Shoes Socks Shampoo Soap
Tooth brushes Toothpaste Underclothes ĂďLJ ŝĂƉĞƌƐ and other items
Stamps & Cards School Supplies Back Packs Clothes Hangers ĂƐŚ ĚŽŶĂƟŽŶ
ƌŽƉ Kī dŝŵĞƐͲ tĞĚŶĞƐĚĂLJ͗ ϭϮ͗ϬϬĂŵ ƚŽ ϯ͗ϬϬƉŵ Θ dŚƵƌƐĚĂLJƐ Ͳ ϵ͗ϬϬĂŵ ƚŽ ϯ͗ϬϬƉŵ The people who get the items will be screened and records will be kept to assure the program is used in the right way.
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27 The Roane Reader
Walnut Hill Church's mission is reaching the lost and helping people in need.
The first Ball lowering celebration atop One Times Square in the USA was held on December 31st , 1907 and is now a worldwide symbol of the turn of the New Year, seen via satellite by more than one billion people each year. The original New Year's Eve Ball weighed 700 pounds and was 5 feet in diameter. It was made of iron and wood and was decorated with 100 25-watt light bulbs.
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BILLY GRIGSBY, OWNER 354-9957 354-9290
DAMAGE FREE HAULING
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Please pray for the Outreach program. /Ĩ LJŽƵΖĚ ůŝŬĞ ƚŽ ǀŽůƵŶƚĞĞƌ͕ ƉůĞĂƐĞ ĐŽŶƚĂĐƚ ƚŚĞ KƵƚƌĞĂĐŚ ůĞĂĚĞƌ͘ tĞ ŶĞĞĚ ƚŽ ŚĂǀĞ Ă ƉŽƐŝƟǀĞ ĂƫƚƵĚĞ ĂďŽƵƚ ƚŚĞ ƉƌŽŐƌĂŵ ĨŽƌ ŝƚ ƚŽ ǁŽƌŬ͘ Let God lead us in everything we do.
visit www.csstrong.org for more info
dŽ ĚŽŶĂƚĞ Žƌ ĨŽƌ ŵŽƌĞ ŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƟŽŶ͕ ĐŽŶƚĂĐƚ &ĂLJĞ ĂŶŝĞůƐ͕ Outreach Leader at 865-590-7192 or 865-308-9283.
28 The Roane Reader
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“Little River” - Chapter 13 by: Rachel Holbrook
Jonathan hurried down the front porch steps, and walked down to the crumbling sidewalk. He had told Abby he was going for a walk, but he felt like running. He wanted to run until his lungs burst–until he couldn’t run anymore. He wanted to run until Little River was a distant memory. Instead, he walked. Steady, measured steps took him away from the parsonage and past the church. When he was out of sight of his house, he slowed his pace and pulled his phone from his pocket. He dialed his brother’s number, took a deep breath, and waited for him to answer. “Hello?” Titus’ voice was husky, as if he had been asleep. “Hey.” Jonathan said. “It’s me.” “I was going to call you. I guess I fell asleep. What time is it?” “Eight o’clock.” “Wow.” Titus cleared his throat. “It feels like I just got home from work.” “Did you do it?” Jonathan interrupted. “Do what?” Titus sounded confused. “Nathan Bates was attacked last night.” Jonathan’s voice was strained. “You said you would figure it out. Did you do it?” “Did I attack Nathan Bates?” Titus’ voice went up an octave. “Are you kidding me, Jonathan? Seriously? You think I beat up Nathan Bates?” “I don’t know.” Jonathan closed his eyes and lifted his face to the fading sun. “Not personally. Did you make it happen?” Titus snorted. “Really, Jonathan. I’m an engineer; not a mobster. You think I can just have people beat up?” “Damn it, Titus.” Jonathan never cursed. The vein in his temple bulged, pulsing with the pain in his head. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to think.” “No, Jon,” Titus spoke in a calm voice, “I didn’t have anything to do with it.” “Promise?” “Of course, I promise.” Titus sounded offended. “I’m sorry.” Jonathan apologized. “I feel like I’m losing it. I just thought when you said you would figure something out, maybe you… I don’t know, Man. I’m losing it. I was just afraid someone in the family was going to get in trouble.” “Someone in the family?” Titus prodded. “You thought maybe someone besides me did it?” “You didn’t tell Clay or Josh did you?” “No.” Titus’ voice was no longer sleepy, but clear and strong. “I didn’t tell anyone. I promise. I’ve just been thinking about it–trying to figure out what to do. I was going to tell you to call the police. I couldn’t think of anything else that made any sense.” “Well, he’s leaving Little River now.” Jonathan had stopped walking, but slowly headed down the sidewalk again as he talked. “Kevin said he’s going back to Chicago when he gets out of the hospital. Whoever attacked him meant business. He’s in pretty bad shape, from what Kevin said.” “Karma.” “That’s what Abby said.” Jonathan muttered. “I suppose you don’t believe in Karma, huh?” “Of course not.” After a momentary pause, Jonathan added, “But I do believe in the intervening hand of God.” “You think God beat him up?” “Not personally.” Jonathan couldn’t help but smile a little, despite how upset he was. “The Bible does say in Matthew that it would be better for a man to have a millstone around his neck and be cast into the sea than to offend one of the little ones.” Jonathan paused before saying, “So, maybe He just allowed it to happen.” “Well, however it happened, he got what was coming to him.”
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When Jonathan made it back to his house, he groaned to see his brother-in-law’s beat up Ford pickup in the driveway. He was not in the mood for Abigail’s redneck brothers. As he approached his front door, he could see through the living room window. Josiah was in the floor wrestling with Luke and Jacob. Jonathan felt a pang of jealousy. He couldn’t remember the last time he got down in the floor and played with his boys. He was always so busy. “Daddy!” Olivia squealed as he entered the room. “Hey, Sweetheart.” Jonathan rubbed his hand over the back of his daughter’s blonde head. “Uncle Josiah is here!” Jacob called from underneath his uncle. “I can see that.” Jonathan replied. “How’s it going, Josiah?” “Cain’t complain.” Josiah’s voice was garbled. He shoved the boys off him, and reached for his ever present Mountain Dew bottle and spit an amber stream into it. Jonathan felt the bile rise in his throat. Abigail’s brothers disgusted him. He had never been able to figure out how a woman as sweet and gentle as his wife came from such a rough family. She just didn’t fit in with their tough, crass ways. “Where’s Carter?” Jonathan asked. “I don’t think I ever see one of you without the other.” “He’s got him a date tonight.” Josiah drawled. He often exaggerated his country accent when his brother-in-law was around. “Who’s the lucky lady?” “Aw, I don’t know.” Josiah shrugged. “Some gal from over the river.” Abigail rolled her eyes at her brother. “Gal?” she asked. “Since when do you say gal?” Josiah gave his sister a slow wink, and said, “That’s just my country ways, Sis.” Jonathan walked through the living room to the kitchen, and poured himself a glass of tea. “Can I get you something, Josiah? Tea?” he called. “Nah.” Josiah replied, still wrestling the boys. “That’s alright, Preacher. I’ve got to go.” Jonathan stepped back into the room, his tea in one hand, and extended his right hand to shake his brother-in-law’s. It wasn’t until Josiah reached to shake his hand that Jonathan noticed the barely scabbed over wounds on Josiah’s knuckles. He looked quickly at Abby, but she didn’t show any signs of noticing what her husband was seeing. Jonathan’s mind raced. Had Abby told her brothers what happened? “What happened there?” Jonathan nodded his head at Josiah’s hand that was firmly…almost painfully…gripping his own. Josiah looked him in the eyes and grinned that easy grin again. “Aw, nothing.” His voice was dismissive, but he maintained an intense eye contact with Jonathan. “Just a bar fight got a little out of hand. You know how people are. Sometimes you just gotta take care of business.” “Little River” is an ongoing serial which debuted on 6-30-15. New installments will be published every month in The Roane Reader. If you enjoy this serial you can purchase “Little River” Vol. 1 from Amazon in paperback or as a Kindle book for easy reading on your e-reader devices. Rachel Holbrook writes from her home in East Tennessee, where she lives with her husband and six children. She is currently seeking representation for her first novel.
January 2017
Life Lessons 1. Never pass up the chance of throwing a coin into a wishing well. 2. Never get yourself into a position where you have to back up a trailer. 3. When you're the first one up, be quite about it. 4. Always mail your Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes notice. Who knows? 5. Never miss an opportunity to go fishing with your father. 6. No matter how old you or your child are, hold hands when you cross a street. 7. Never deny anyone the opportunity to do something nice for you. 8. Always offer to leave the tip when someone invites you out to eat. 9. Pull your car over and stop when a funeral procession is passing by and whisper a prayer of comfort for the family. 10. Be the first adult to jump into the pool or run into the ocean with the kids. They will love you for it.
Taking A cab
This past Saturday I went to a party. I had a few beers, followed by a few cocktails, followed by a few shots.... I still had the sense to know that I was over the limit. That's when I decided to do what I have never done before: I took a cab home. Sure enough, there was a police road block on the way home, and since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was both a great relief and a surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don't even know where I got it from and, now that it is in my garage, I don't know what to do with it.
He who breaks a New Year resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool. F.M. Knowles
Happy Birthday Dinette Ray Jan. 7th
January 2017
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Cat Myths and Facts
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Pet’s Page
MYTH: Cats eyes shine at night because they are casting out the Prepare For Your Pets Death light they gather during the day. We all love our pets madly. They are a constant source of unconditional love, friendship, affection and FACT: Baloney. How can we gather daylight when our eyes are often of great entertainment. But unfortunately, their life spans are usually much shorter than our own. closed sleeping all day? Here are some things you can think about in advance to make it easier when the inevitable occurs: 1. Do you believe in cremation or burial? The answer determines how you will handle your pet’s MYTH: When a cat's whiskers droop, rain is coming. FACT: When a cat's whiskers droop, rain is here. The whiskers are remains, but it’s a very heavy question to deal with when your grief is fresh, so be clear about it ahead of time. wet. 2. If cremation feels right to you, do you want to preserve the ashes in a pet urn, bury them, spread them MYTH: If you want to keep a cat from straying, put butter on its somewhere meaningful — or would you prefer that your veterinarian dispose of your pet’s remains? There is no right or wrong answer. Whatever feels right to you is okay. paws. FACT: I won't stray because you won't be here to open the door. You 3. If you want to bury your pet, can you do so in your yard or a family member’s yard, or would you will be in the hospital as a result of your attempt to butter my paws. prefer a pet cemetery? If you’re going to bury your pet in your yard, what type of vessel will you use? (Be sure to contact your local health or animal control department to make sure home burial is legal MYTH: If a cat sneezes near a bride on her wedding day she will where you live.) have a happy marriage. 4. If you would prefer a pet cemetery, find some that are close to you and will be convenient to visit. FACT: 4-in-5 marriages end in divorce. Not a lot of sneezing going Compare prices and tour the facilities. Although this is not a fun task, it will be easier to choose a on, huh? Maybe they ought to rewrite that one and make it 'coughs cemetery when you’re not mourning. Once you find a cemetery you feel comfortable with, find out hairballs.' what types of grave markers they allow and if the plot number needs to be engraved on the stone. 5. Whether you keep your pet’s remains or not, you can create a beautiful and peaceful spot in your MYTH: Stepping over a cat brings bad luck. yard where your pet often napped or hung out and where you can go to reflect and remember. You can FACT: Actually, worse luck. It exposes your most vulnerable areas mark this spot with a pet grave marker whether your pet is buried there or not. The marker can simply just in case you miss and step on us. be a tribute to your friend. We prepare for the loss of our human loved ones, so why not prepare for the loss of our animal companMYTH: Cats suck the breath from babies. ions? If it’s too hard to think about now, at least ask a close family member or friend in advance to help FACT: We don't 'suck the breath.' Cats enjoy baby breath as much you to make these difficult decisions when the time comes. as humans. If you had a choice between a baby's breath and the Big The one thing all pet owners have in common when they lose their pet is the need to honor their friend’s Owner's breath, which would you choose? memory with dignity. There are many options available, so choose the one that feels best for you and that you feel is most appropriate for the memory of your animal companion. MYTH: Cats always land on their feet. FACT: So explain the bumps on my head.
Extra Eccentric
Peculiar Pet Puns
1. Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every Why are fish so smart? MYTH: A cat has nine lives. Because they live in schools. opinion now accepted was once eccentric. FACT: Well, okay, that one is true. I happen to have a can of it sitting right in front of me. Now, if I could only get someone to open it for 2. If you're poor and you do something stupid, you're What do you call a cow that won't give milk? A milk dud! nuts. If you're rich and do something stupid, you're me. eccentric. Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Q&A Pet Jokes 3. Money, like vodka, turns a person into an eccentric. Because there was a KFC on the other side! Q: What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk? 4. A civilized society is one which tolerates eccentricWhy did the chicken cross the road? A: An udder failure. To show everyone he wasn't chicken! ity to the point of doubtful sanity. The English like eccentrics. They just don't like them What animal has more lives than a cat? Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? Frogs, they croak every night! A: Spoiled milk. living next door. Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry? A: They are always stuffed! Q: Why do fish live in salt water? A: Because pepper makes them sneeze! Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? A: Odor in the court!
ROANE COUNTY PAWS
Our mission is to improve the welfare of all animals Educating the public on spay, neuter, vaccinating, caring for and properly vetting their pet is a great priority.
Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? A: Ouch!
Roane County Paws is a 501c3 nonprofit organization. We work very hard to fundraise and depend solely on fundraising and donations. Every dollar goes directly to the care of the animals.
Q: Why did the snake cross the road? A: To get to the other ssssssside!
Please consider making a donation to Roane County Paws Checks can be mailed to P.O. Box 1362, Harriman, TN 37748 or give online at www.roanecountypaws.org
30 The Roane Reader
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January 2017
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January 2017
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Address 1000 Ladd Landing Kingston, Tn 37763 413 Devonia St, Harriman, Tn 37748 1226 S Roane St, Harriman, Tn 37748 103 First St. Kingston, Tn 37763
B & M Wrecker Service
1348 Gateway Rockwood, Tn 37854
Big Emory Church Benchmark Church Carriage Hill Insurance CB Man
1607 Webster Rd. Harriman, Tn 37748 961 E. Tri-County Blvd. Oliver Springs, Tn 37840 2305 N. Gateway Ave., Ste. 8, Rockwood, Tn 37854 www.truckers-more-cb-radio-range.com 215 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763 - First Baptist 229 Carter Ave. Harriman, Tn 37748 - West Care 101 Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 2104 S. Congress Parkway 230 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Celebrate Recovery Christmas Lumber Co. Clayton Homes (Athens) Cochran's Tax and Bookkeeping Coldwell Banker Cheryl Laxton Coldwell Banker Glenda Johnson Coldwell Banker Sherry Tipton Credit Central Eagle Mart Eddies Body Shop Ellis Surplus & Salvage Fraker Funeral Home Gadget's Hobby Shop Gary's Pest Control Grants Tree Service Grasscutters G & S Construction Guinnbilt Portable Buildings
410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763 410 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, Tn 37763 10815 Kingston Pike Knoxville, Tn 37934 705 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 909 Georgia St Harriman, Tn 37748 514 Emory St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1238 S. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 1445 Kingston Hwy, Kingston, Tn 37763 204 Trenton St. Harriman, Tn 37748 P.O. Box 1026 Harriman, Tn 37748 160 Country Club Dr. Rockwood, TN, 37854 2641 Sugar Grove Valley Rd Harriman, TN 37748 Harriman Area
Happy Paws Harriman Home Center Health Markets Insurance Agency Matthew Libby Hugh Russell Motors, LLC Hwy 29-A Motors Inc Integrity Auto Sales Jamestowne Assisted Living Jerrys Used Furniture Jim Rummell Collectibles
707 Old Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Phone (865) 617-5998 (865) 376-4589 (865) 590-7453 (865) 590-7429 (865) 376-4484 (865) 354-9957 (865) 354-9290 (865) 285-1390 (865) 384-3711 (865) 394-1356 (865) 394-1358 (865) 882-2362 (423) 745-4752 (865) 882-8556 (865) 376-2121 (865) 740-2440 (865) 376-2121 (865) 591-6900 (865) 966-1111 (865) 622-1213 (865) 882-1324 (865) 882-6265 (865) 882-6474 (865) 387-3572 (865) 717-7727 (865) 882-7528 (865) 882-5794 (865) 399-7247 (865) 250-3656 (865) 389-6913 (865) 882-5309 (865) 804-4400 (865) 310-4677 (865) 224-9640 (865) 882-3931
806 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763
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1007 Ruritan Rd. Harriman, Tn 37763 1403 Ruritan Rd Harriman, Tn 37748 2645 Harriman Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748 851 Lawnville Rd Kingston, Tn 37763 2744 Roane State Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748
(865) 882-1165 (865) 882-6462 (865) 285-9246 (865) 376-3030 (865) 882-3603 (865) 224-0431 (865) 234-7100 (865) 250-2710 (865) 223-3090 (865) 354-2802
J. Neal Jewelry
416 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Joes Mowing Junior's Restaurant KARM Stores Kingston Express Lube Kingston Parks & Recreation Kittrell's Kitchen KTB Taxes Logs to Lumber
214 W. Rockwood St. Rockwood, Tn 37854 1496 N. Gateway Ave Rockwood, Tn 37854 306 Kentucky St., Kingston, Tn 37763 www.kingstonparks.com 1190 Gallaher Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763 111 South 3rd St. Kingston, Tn 37763 150 Columbus Dr. Lenoir City, Tn 37771
L & J Home Repair
148 Hensley Rd. Kingston, Tn 37763
Mary Kay - Sherry Tipton
(865) 717-8288 (865) 376-1356 (865) 376-3060 (865) 376-0122 (865) 986-4264 (865) 466-2735 (865) 223-3090 (865) 622-1213
Mid-East Community Action Agency P.O. Box 790 Kingston, Tn 37763
(865) 376-2308
Midtown Florist & Gifts
(865) 882-3603
2744 Roane State Hwy. Harriman, Tn 37748
Mostoller, Stulberg, Whitfield & Allen 136 S. Illinois Ave., Sute 104 Oak Ridge, Tn 37830 Law Firm (Social Security Disability) Patti Savage Designs Princess Theatre Quality Home Health Radio 580-AM Realty Executives Brenda Chapman Renos Sporting Goods
715 N. Kentucky St. Kingston, TN 37763 421 N. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Roane County Paws
119 Arrowood Ln., Harriman, Tn 37748
Roane County Trustee Roane Reader
P.O. Box 296 Kingston, Tn 37763 501 Evergreen St. Harriman, Tn 37748
319 West Rockwood St. Rockwood, Tn 37854
(865) 789-2706 (865) 882-4633 (423) 346-3302 (865) 250-6718
3232 Tazewell Pike Knoxville, Tn 37918
(865) 688-3232
430 N. Roane St Harriman, Tn 37748
(865) 882-2450 (865) 250-6966 (865) 607-2865
Robert James & Associates
615 River Road Kingston, Tn 37763
Rockwood Village Apartments Rosemary's Florist S.L. Bowman & Sons
601 S. Chamberlain Ave. Rockwood, Tn 37854 103 First St. Kingston, Tn 37763 521 N. Front St. Rockwood, Tn 37854
Seal Coat Specialist
Harriman Area
Senator Ken Yager Sextons Automotive Group Shelton Financial Protection Shepherd Plumbing Spotted Spaniel State Farm - Bill McFarland Taxes Done Right
6 Legislative Plaza Nashville,Tn 37243 269 S. Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748 166 Marney Cove Rd. Kingston,Tn 37763 Roane County Area 235 Jackson Square Oak Ridge, Tn 37830 119 North Gateway Avenue 1251 South Roane St. Harriman, Tn 37748
Tellico Propane
1375 Monterey Road Loudon, TN 37774
Traughber Insurance & Financial Svcs, Inc. U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary Victorian Square Assisted Living Walnut Hill Outreach Program Your Time Clock & Watch Repair
(865) 482-4466
(865) 882-9340 (865) 376-4925 (800) 530-5700 (865) 354-3945 (865) 376-4484 (865) 354-0600 (864) 640-1654 (865) 223-3976 (615) 741-1449 (865) 882-2416 (865) 376-0321 (865) 354-8518 (865) 483-0961 (865) 354-9453 (865) 465-5575 (865) 408-9050 (888) 294-9234
420 Ruritan Rd Harriman, Tn 37748
(865) 882-1900
1220 Bowman Bend Rd. Harriman, Tn 37748 241 S. Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood, Tn 37854
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Name Anytime Fitness Big E Quick Mart Big Johns Bob's Hamburgers Cochran's Tax Service Coin Laundry (Harriman) Dollar General Market Eagles Food Mart Eddies Body Shop Food City (Harriman) Harriman Care & Rehab Center Harriman Jewelry Exchange Harriman Public Library Hugh Russell Motors Midtown Florist & Gifts Mossy Grove Food Mart Roane Medical Center Rocky Top Markets Rocky Top Markets (Scott's MKT) Rocky Top Markets Save-A-Lot (Harriman) Schilo Foodmart Sexton Automotive Group Traughber Insurance Oasis Food Mart Harriman Home Center Renos Sporting Goods Roane Street Grill Cost Saver Exxon Food City (Kingston) Jamestowne Assisted Living Roane County Court House Rock Top Markets Rocky Top Markets Rocky Top Markets Zoning Office Spotted Spaniel Anderson County Tobacco and Market Food City (Oliver Springs) Jones Grocery Marathon Fuel Center Coin Laundry (Oliver Springs) B & M wrecker Big E's Bridge At Rockwood Carriage Hill Insurance Hardees (Rockwood) Junior's Restaurant Rockwood Care & Rehab Center Rockwood Village Apartments Rocky Top Markets S.L. Bowman & Sons Inc Victorian Square Assisted Living Wal-mart Supercenter Darnell Food Market Hardees (Wartburg) Save-A-Lot (Wartburg) Sexton Ford
Address 1226 South Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 2843 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 828 North Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 3209 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 230 South Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 1301 S. Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 201 Ruritan Rd Harriman,TN 37748 909 Georgia St Harriman,TN 37748 514 Emory Drive Harriman,TN 37748 1130 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 240 Hannah Road Harriman,TN 37748 509 Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 601 Walden Ave Harriman,TN 37748 1007 Ruritan Road Harriman,TN 37748 2744 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 1705 Morgan County Highway Harriman,TN 37748 8045 Roane Medical Center Drive Harriman,TN 37748 1811 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 2722 Roane State Highway Harriman,TN 37748 102 North Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 1225 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 1901 Harriman Highway Harriman,TN 37748 269 South Roane Street Harriman,TN 37748 420 Ruritan Road Harriman,TN 37748 635 Old Roane St Harriman,TN 37748 707 Old Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 430 N. Roane St. Harriman,TN 37748 812 N Roane St Harriman,TN 37748 615 North Kentucky Street Kingston,TN 37763 1007 East Race Street Kingston,TN 37763 1000 Ladd Landing Boulevard Kingston,TN 37763 851 Lawnville Road Kingston,TN 37763 200 East Race Street Kingston,TN 37763 935 East Race Street Kingston,TN 37763 200 West Race St Kingston,TN 37763 104 Bluff Road Kingston,TN 37763 308 North 3rd Street Kingston,TN 37763 235 Jackson Square Oak Ridge,TN 37830 S1 705 Main Street Oliver Springs,TN 37840 508 East Tri-County Boulevard Oliver Springs,TN 37840 4306 Knoxville Highway Oliver Springs,TN 37840 704 Main Street Oliver Springs,TN 37840 903 E Tri-County Boulevard Oliver Springs,TN 37748 1348 North Gateway Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 320 North Gateway Ave Rockwood,TN 37854 5580 Roane State Highway Rockwood,TN 37854 2305 N. Gateway Ave., Ste. 8 Rockwood,Tn 37854 504 North Gateway Ave Rockwood,TN 37854 214 West Rockwood Street Rockwood,TN 37854 5580 Roane State Highway Rockwood,TN 37854 601 South Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 101 South Gateway Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 521 North Front Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 241 South Chamberlain Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 1102 North Gateway Avenue Rockwood,TN 37854 1014 Main Street Wartburg,TN 37887 1122 Knoxville Highway Wartburg,TN 37887 3910 Morgan County Highway Wartburg,TN 37887 1226 Knoxville Highway Wartburg,TN 37887
Phone Number (865) 590-7429 (865) 882-7888 (865) 882-2822 (865) 882-5300 (865) 882-8556 (865) 882-0880 (865) 882-6265 (865) 882-6474 (865) 882-0117 (865) 882-1613 (865) 882-4000 (865) 882-3195 (865) 882-1165 (865) 882-3603 (423) 346-5858 (865) 319-1000 (865) 882-7779 (865) 882-0075 (865) 882-0706 (865) 882-5446 (865) 882-7726 (800) 688-0833 (865) 882-1900 (865) 882-0602 (865) 882-3931 (865) 882-2450 (865) 285-6025 (865) 717-0038 (865) 376-4059 (865) 376-7534 (865) 376-3030 (865) 376-2487 (865) 376-1771 (865) 717-2832 (865) 717-4230 (865) 483-0961 (865) 435-2662 (865) 435-5353 (423) 324-4932 (865) 354-9957 (865) 354-3366 (865) 285-1390 (865) 354-4004 (865) 354-2802 (865) 354-3303 (865) 354-3945 (865) 354-2809 (865) 354-0600 (865) 354-1133 (865) 354-0863 (423) 346-3344 (423) 346-7666 (423) 346-6767 (866) 211-2642
Description Inside on wall at front window Inside on the "order here" counter Inside under counter Outside under the tabloid rack Inside on front desk Inside on top of Coin Machine Outside in our tabloid rack Outside in our tabloid rack Inside in the waiting room Outside in our tabloid rack Inside on front desk Inside on counter Inside in magazine rack Inside in the waiting room Inside on the cashier counter Inside in the magazine rack Inside in the waiting room Inside on the counter Inside to the left under the magazine racks Inside under the counter in the magazine rack Out front beside the Roane County News rack Inside in magazine rack Inside the show room Inside in the waiting room Inside on the counter Inside on the counter Inside on the counter Inside under the coat rack Inside the lobby Inside under the magazine racks Outside in our tabloid rack Inside on the front desk Inside the door Inside under the magazine racks Inside under the magazine racks Inside under the magazine racks Inside on the front desk Inside on the counter Inside on top of the lottery booth Outside in our tabloid rack Inside in the tabloid racks Inside under counter Inside on tables Inside on the counter Inside Inside on the front desk Inside on desk Inside on top of the dividers Inside the door to the left in the magazine rack Inside on the front desk Inside on the front desk Inside under the magazine racks Inside on the counter Inside on the front desk Inside our tabloid rack across from self checkout Outside in our tabloid rack Inside on the divider wall Inside under tabloid racks Inside the show room
*8,11%,/7 3257$%/( %8,/',1*6 .
Serving East Tn since 1975
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Barns Garages Additions Housing
Compare and Save! BARN TYPE
GABLE TYPE
8x8................$895............................$995 8x10................$995..........................$1095 8x12..............$1095..........................$1245 10x10..............$1195..........................$1245 10x12..............$1295..........................$1495
Custom Build Any Size, Any Style, Your Place Or Ours
10x16..............$1695..........................$1895 10x20..............$2195..........................$2395
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865-882-5309 865-804-4400
Harriman Retail Center No Appointment Necessary!
1835 Griffith Dr
(865) 248-8122 M-F 9am - 9pm Sat 9am - 7pm Sun 11am - 6pm
Open 7 Days a Week!
Across the street from Kroger, next to Weigels
ALL HAIRCUTS $6.99! For a limited time so hurry in!