December 2012

20 Roane Reader

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Roane County's BEST locally owned publication guaranteed to entertain you, or your money back!

VOLUME 20

DECEMBER 2012

Established 1993

NUMBER 2 By

By Travis Travis Harmon Harmon

Precious Precious Memories Memories By

By Kay Kay Christopher Christopher

Moron Moron of of the the Month Month By

By Jerry Jerry Lemons Lemons

Please Support The Red Kettle Drive This Season

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Entertainment Entertainment

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Obituaries Obituaries

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Rockwood Rockwood Memories Memories By

By Ray Ray Collet Collet

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2 The Roane Reader

december 2012

SEEN & HEARD IN ROANE COUNTY

By O.I. Seenya ● The U.S. Space station traveling over Roane County. ● I thought the recent earthquake everyone felt was my washing machine clanging during the spin cycle! ● A police cruiser speeding down the main street of one of our cities.

Come on, if you’re going to an emergency, use your blue lights. If not, obey the law like the rest of us have to. ● After receiving a traffic ticket for not using a signal to change lanes, another police cruiser turning left without using one. Please--obey the law, like the rest of us have to. ● Approximately 20 wild turkeys gathered in a field near the road south of the river a week before Thanksgiving as if to say “In your face!”

Great gift idea for a co-worker Monitor Rear-View Mirror - This is one of the best inexpensive office Christmas gift ideas for those in the office that you know are addicted to Facebook, online games, and wasting company hours tweeting. It's a nifty rear-view mirror that comes in a variety of festive colors and mounts on the corner of a computer monitor with Velcro. It's one of the best funny Christmas gifts for job security, because everyone will know when the boss is trying to sneak up on them.

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.

Fundraiser Chili Supper For Ashley Lively's Funeral Expenses (daughter of Rosie Lively Russell).

Sat. Dec. 1st.

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Precious Memories By: Kay Christopher

Christmas in Indianapolis In the 50s, my mother's adopted mother lived in Indianapolis and ran the largest restaurant in the city.

One Christmas, Mama and Daddy and us 6 kids loaded up the old car and drove up there.

I remember Mama told us she had a surprise in the trunk and she pulled out some new funny books that we had not read! We were in Heaven, and very quiet most of the way.

When we got there, we went to see the restaurant Grandma owned.

It was huge, and full of people!

We later went to her house where we were so impressed. It was a bricked house, and she had a big TV and carpet! She then showed us where we would be sleeping.

My sleeping place was with Rita and Sandra in the den on a couch that turned into a bed.

Grandma had remarried and had a son that was my age, so we spent many hours laying in the floor watching TV. On Christmas Eve, I pulled up a stool and was looking out the window in the front door. Seems like I stood there for a hour.

When Mama asked me what I was looking for, I told her Santa Claus.

Now, this being the big city, I just assumed Santa didn't arrive on his sleigh, I figured he'd come walking down the street, carrying his big bag of toys.

I was devastated when Mama asked me if I still believed in Santa Claus, and that I shouldn't because I was too old. I told her that yes, I still believed in Santa, and that I knew he would come. I expected to see him struggling with his big bag of toys while fighting the wind and snow that was piling up outside.

I stood on that stool and watched and watched, until I couldn't stand on it any longer.

I gave up, I never saw Santa Claus that night. I went to bed.

I woke up the next morning exhausted. I laid for awhile and finally rolled over.

I could see the Christmas tree from where I was laying, and my eyes almost jumped out of my head! There under the Christmas Tree was the doll and doll buggy I prayed Santa Claus would bring me!

I ran to the tree, then ran to get Mama up. I proceeded to tell her that she was wrong. There was a Santa Claus.

I was so proud because I knew for once, I was smarter that my Mama, and continued to remind her of that while playing with my doll and buggy. And all Mama said or did was smile.

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december 2012

ENTERTAINMENT By: Kay Christopher

The Beverly Hillbillies The Beverly Hillbillies TV show was so popular when it aired from 1962 to 1971, that it attracted as many as 60 million viewers a week.. but where are they now?

Bea Benederet - Pearl Bodine, Jethro’s maw. Originally brought in to play Granny, but was cast as Cousin Pearl instead. She was married to Eugene Twombley. Bea died of lung cancer in 1968. Bea was the original voice of Betty Rubble, on The Flintstones.

Irene Ryan - Played Granny. Her husband was a comedy writer and former vaudevillian named Tim Ryan. She suffered a stroke while performing in a Saturday matinee. A few weeks later, she died of a brain tumor. She was 70 years old. Pallbearers at her funeral were Max Baer, Kingsley Colton, Buddy Ebsen, Ralph Handley, Paul Henning and Edward Sherman. Bob Hope was an Honorary pallbearer The name GRANNY is on her tomb.

Nancy Kulp - Miss Jane Hathaway. Ran for Congress in Pennsylvania.

She got some celeb friends to endorse her, and made some remark that alluded that all the Hillbillies endorsed her. She was a Democrat, Buddy Ebsen a Republican. Buddy made a 30-second radio endorsement for Nancy’s opposition. Nancy lost the election, and was very bitter. She came down with cancer of the larynx in 1989, and went to Palm Springs to die. She was cremated, and her ashes are with family.

She was 69 years old.

Raymond Bailey - Mr. Drysdale died in California, in 1980, of a heart attack. He was 74. Harriet MacGibbon, who played his wife Harriet, could slap on both false eyelashes with her eyes shut. She died in 1987 of a massive heart attack.

Buddy Ebsen - Jed Clampett. He was the original choice for the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz, but due to being extremely allergic to the paint used to make the Tin Man metal, he was hospitalized and replaced. In 1998 Buddy had heart surgery, and received a valve from a pig's heart. In 2003, he was hospitalized with pneumonia and later died.

There was a private family funeral, and his ashes were scattered at sea.

Donna Douglas - Elly May. She had a second career as a gospel singer, and a popular real estate agent in Beverly Hills. During the filming of "The Beverly Hillbillies" she and Irene Ryan would annually put on a huge Christmas party for the show's staff and families. Now semi-retired, she is living again in her native Louisiana.

Max Baer - Jethro. Baer lives with his four dogs and has no children "that I know of" to inherit his legacy. He was married only once, from 1966 to 1971, and hasn't seen ex-wife Joanna Hill in 30 years, though they speak occasionally. Since then, he has romanced many. Recently, a 30-year-old love interest Chere Rhodes shot herself in Baer's Lake Tahoe home. A suicide note was left for him. "There was blood everywhere," he says, speaking about the incident for the first time.

"She'd shot herself in the chest." He recently cut the ribbon to introduce his "The Beverly Hillbillies" ™ Millionaire Mile® slot machine.

Happy Birthday Larry (Ricky) Christopher Dec. 24th We hope it's the best one you've ever had.

Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus

3 The Roane Reader

Eight-year-old Virginia O'Hanlon wrote a letter to the editor of New York's Sun, and the quick response was printed as an unsigned editorial Sept. 21, 1897. The work of veteran newsman Francis Pharcellus Church has since become history's most reprinted newspaper editorial, appearing in part or whole in dozens of languages in books, movies, and other editorials, and on posters and stamps.

"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.

"Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.

"Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'

"Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

"VIRGINIA O'HANLON. "115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET." VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age.

They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Contact Senator Ken Yager

427 N. ROANE ST. HARRIMAN, TN

882-6676

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4 The Roane Reader

december 2012

An Old Farmer's Advice:

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. * Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. * Meanness don't jes' happen overnight. * Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads. * Don't corner something you know is meaner than you. * It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge. * You can't unsay a cruel word. * Every path has a few puddles. * When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. * The best sermons are lived, not preached. * Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway. * Don't judge folks by their relatives. * Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. * Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time. * Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none. * Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. * If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'. * Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got. It is like the city folk who say some days you are the pigeon and some you are the statue. * The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'. * Always drink upstream from the herd. * Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment. * Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in. * If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. * Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

ATTENTION

ROANE COUNTY PROPERTY OWNERS 2012 PROPERTY TAXES CAN BE PAID AT UNITED COMMUNITY BANK IN KINGSTON, US BANK OFFICES IN ROCKWOOD AND KINGSTON OR TENNESSEETRUSTEE.COM UNTIL FEB. 28, 2013.

TRUSTEE OFFICE HOURS ARE 8:30 - 6:00 ON MONDAYS 8:30 - 4:30 TUESDAYS THROUGH FRIDAYS WILMA J. EBLEN ROANE COUNTY TRUSTEE

according to the almanac December 2012

Weather Forecast Temperature 48.5° (average) Precipitation 7" (2" below avg.)

Dec 1-5: Heavy rain, then sunny, cool; Dec 6-14: A few t-storms, warm; Dec 15-19: Sunny, cold; Dec 20-25: Snow north, rain south; Dec 26-31: Rainy periods, cool.

Best days to...

December

Begin diet to lose weight..............................6,10 Begin logging.............................................14,15 Breed animals.............................................10,11 Castrate animals.........................................16,17 Cut hair to discourage growth.........................8,9 Cut hair to encourage growth......................23,24 Cut hay........................................................20,21 Destroy pests and weeds.............................20,21 Harvest aboveground crops........................23,24 Harvest belowground crops............................5,6 Have dental care.............................................5,6 Plant aboveground crops............................18,19 Plant belowground crops......................1,2,10,11 Prune to discourage growth............................3,4 Prune to encourage growth.........................20,21 Quit smoking................................................6,10 Slaughter livestock.....................................10,11 Start projects....................................................14 Wean animals or children.............................6,10

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december 2012

Rockwood Memories

Said Santa Claus One winter's night, 'I really think it's only right A friend who I grew up with passed away recently. Lloyd (Buddy) (Moose) Morris.. A That gifts should have a little say couple of years ago, he told me about a Christmas Memory of his that I shared with some of 'Bout where they'll be on Christmas Day.' the readers. I have had request to include it in the Roane Reader this year as the Christmas So then and there He called the toys Season is here. I hope you enjoy Lloyd's story as much as I did...

Intended for good girls and boys, Santa Fe Flyer - A Christmas Memory "As a child, Christmas Eve 1950 was my most memorable Christmas. Wait a moment, you And when they'd settled down to hear, might say how can that be after all, isn't that an oxymoron? How can Christmas be on Christ- He made his plan for them quite clear.

By: Ray Collet

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

December 31st

December 30th

Margie Dodd

Mildred Miles

The toys called out 'Hurrah! Hurrah!

What fun to live always and play With folks we choose - they'll surely be Selected very carefully.'

So, children dear, When you do see These were his words: 'Soon now,' he said, Your toys in socks or under a tree, 'You'll all be speeding off with me You'll know in all the world 'twas you To bring the Christmas joy and cheer They wanted to be given to.

Author unknown To little ones both far and near.

'Here's my idea, It seems but fair That you should each one have a share In choosing homes where you will stay On and after Christmas Day. 'Now the next weeks Before we go

HAPPY 62ND BIRTHDAY

Kay Christopher Dec. 31st

How to mail letters to Santa Claus Letters addressed to Santa at the North Pole, AK can be given directly to letter carriers. They don't have to be placed in collection boxes or taken to the Post Office.

And, as always, families with curbside mailboxes can put mail to Santa in their mailboxes for pick up.

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Over the miles of glistening snow Find out the tots that you like best And think much nicer than the rest.'

9

mas Eve? Isn't Christmas the celebration of the birth of the Savior and always on Christmas Day? In truth, yes, of course it is and it should always be focused on the birth of the Christ Child, and not Santa Claus. However, in 1950 for one seven year old boy, I'm ashamed to say, I think Santa was the key point of Christmas, and with that in mind we will continue this story.

"At our house, unless Christmas Day occurred on Saturday or Sunday, Santa always came on Christmas Eve. My father was a bus driver for the Tennessee Coach Company, and had to leave for work at five in the morning every day except on the weekend. Santa Claus somehow knew just how much it meant to my father to be home with us when we first saw our Christmas gifts, and decided that he would make an exception and deliver our Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve. Dad did explain to us that Santa Claus would only bring our gifts on Christmas Eve if we promised never to go outside and tell the other kids what we had received until the next morning. I guess Santa thought the other kids might not understand why he came early to our house, and not theirs since he was already in the neighborhood.

"The summer of 1950, the dime store in Rockwood displayed a Lionel Santa Fe Flyer train set in the window. It was and still is, at least in my memories, the most beautiful toy train set ever made. The double diesel engines were silver with a red nose and yellow trim. It was love at first sight, and one of those items that a boy automatically knew was meant for him and him alone.

"The trick was how to get that train. Even at the age of seven I knew dad couldn't afford it.

We lived at 417 S. Kingston Avenue which was smack dab in the middle of the middle section of the Kingwood homes in Rockwood, and people didn't live in the Kingwood homes because they had a lot of money.

"Someday I'll write more about all the great kids that grew up in those Kingwood homes in the 1950's, but more about that later. Let me get back to this story, but what was I talking about? Oh yes, I remember now, it was how to get the train that was meant for me. Well, dad was out of the question since after paying the family bills not much was left, and there was already four of us kids to support. My sister June was 9, Ronnie was two, and my brother Terry was just a few months old that Christmas.

"After spending a great deal of time thinking about how to get the train I finally realized the only answer was Santa Claus. Like all seven year old kids I knew the trick to getting Santa to bring me that train for Christmas was to be good the rest of the year. I really tried, I did, but in truth I failed miserably. I'm sure that my parents must have got awfully tired of me talking about that train for those several months before Christmas. Mom and Dad would both tell me that Santa could only give an expensive toy like a train set to a few kids each year, and maybe when I was older he might bring me one. Of course, I wasn't accepting that type of talk and they would always point out my bad attitude only added to the reasons that Santa would not bring me a train this year. I think I knew that I didn't stand a chance of getting that train set, but by no means was I going to give up making a pest of myself by talking about it as often as I could...."

Well, readers, let's leave "Ralphie"..(whoops I had "The Christmas Story" with "Ralphie" and his Red Ryder BB gun on my mind...) Let's leave Lloyd until next week when we will find out how his Christmas turned out...Merry Christmas to all of my readers from the COLLETT household, and a very Happy New Year....

5 The Roane Reader

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december 2012

Predicting the Weather For years, folks have been using signs of nature to help predict the weather. And there are many signs of nature that have been used for these predictions, including aches and pains in bunions or corns, and twinges of rheumatism or arthritis. So here are a few of those signs: Animals predicting a bad winter: -Squirrels frantically gathering nuts in the fall -Watching to see if geese fly south earlier than usual -Squirrels building nests low in the trees -Fur on animals (cows, horses, dogs, rabbits, squirrels) is thicker than usual -Fur on rabbit’s feet is thicker than usual -Squirrel tails bushier than usual / squirrels fatter than usual -Mice working hard to invade the home and barn -Birds eat berries earlier in the season -Birds huddle on the ground -Fatter than usual skunks (who’s going to measure them?)

Plants predicting a bad winter: -Husks on corn is thicker than usual -Leaves drop before giving good fall colors -Heavy holly and dogwood berry production -Excess numbers of acorns, hickory nuts and walnuts -Numerous pine, spruce and fir cones at the tops of the evergreens -Weeds growing taller than usual in the summer (predicting deeper snows) -Rough / thick onion skins -Fruit trees blooming twice.

Weather predicting the weather: If the first week of August is hot, cold winter. The more fog during August, the more snowfall. If September is hot, look for a mild winter at first, but the end to be very cold. Lots of rolling thunder during late fall means a harsh winter. An early killing frost means a harsh winter to come. A dry summer means a cold winter.

Smoke predicting the weather: -Smoke from a chimney flows toward or settles on the ground, it will be a harsh winter -There is a chance of snow if it is cloudy and smoke rises -It will snow within 26 days of smoke from the chimney settling on the ground.

Insects predicting a bad winter: More spiders in the fall than usual.

Thickness of spider webs. Ants build their nests high. Heights of hornet nests in the trees. And of course, the famous Woolly Worm!

(Heavy coats, lots of them moving around, slow movement, amount of black color on the bands, seeing them crawling before the first frost. Oh yes, the all-time favorite and most common predictor of the winter to come is the Wooly Worm, also known as Wooly Bear, Fuzzy Bear, Black-ended Bear, Banded Woolly Bear. The scientific name for Wooly Worms is Pyrrhactia Isabella, and they are the larval stage of the Isabella Tiger Moth, and orange – yellow moth with a wing span of about 2 inches. (The genus Pyrrhactia has many species; some are solid black, without any bands and others have

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bands varying in sizes.)

Now, according to folklore, the amount of black on the Woolly Worm in the autumn varies proportionately with the severity of the upcoming winter. The longer the black bands, the longer, colder, snowier and more severe the winter will be. The wider the middle brown band, the milder the winter will be. And the position of the bands indicates which part of winter will be the coldest. If the head is dark, the winter starts out severe. If the tail is dark, the end will be cold. And, being the Woolly Worm has 13 body segments; folklore says each one (beginning at the head) corresponds with the 13 weeks of winter. So reading each band could actually forecast each week of the winter.

Other signs from the Woolly Worm include thicker coats mean colder winters, and if they seem to be traveling south, they are trying to escape the cold conditions of the north. On the other hand, if they are traveling north, that indicates a milder winter.

But, research has shown us that the Wooly Worm’s coloring is actually based on how long the caterpillar has been feeding, its age, and of course, the species. The better the growing season, the bigger it will grow, and this results in a narrower red-orange band in its middle. So, the width of the banding is actually an indicator of the current or past season’s growth, rather than an indicator of the severity of the upcoming winter. Coloring also indicates the age. These caterpillars may molt as many as 6 times before reaching adult size and the colors will change with each molt, actually becoming less black and more reddish. (And now you know the rest of the story!)

Nevertheless, I still think these folklore signs to help predict the winter weather is a lot of fun and in many cases, have been exactly on the mark! Take a look at the signs in your area, and see what happens this winter.

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.” -Dr. Seuss

Things people said...

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977.

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." -- Attributed to Bill Gates, 1981, but believed to be an urban legend.

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." -- Western Union internal memo, 1876.

"The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys." -- Sir William Preece, chief engineer of the British Post Office, 1876.

"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper." -- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With the Wind."

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." -Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.

THE BIRTH OF THE SONG "PRECIOUS LORD"

december 2012

Obituaries

Oct. 26th Maggie M. Ratliff, 98, Rockwood Oct. 27th Jessie Alberta Wright, 84, Kingston Lloyd “Bud” Morris, Jr. 69, Kingston Oct. 29th Marlene Evans, 69, Rockwood Etta Davis, Dutch Valley Oct. 30th Florence Patterson, 87, Kingston Nov. 1st Dorothy B. Haren, 88, Rockwood Nov. 2nd Howard Turnbill, 66, Rockwood Nov. 4th Hazel Pauline Pierce, 83, Kingston Nov. 5th Joyce Reeder, 73, Harriman Patricia Lankford, 75, Harriman Nov. 6th Deborah Hughes, Harriman Nov. 7th Stacia Jones, 42, Harriman Nov. 8th Diane Behland, 69, Harriman Nellie Wolf Freeman, 81, Kingston Nov. 9th Evelyn Mankel, 72, Rockwood Mildred Harris, 53, Oliver Spgs Gladys Shipley, 86, Oliver Spgs Leldon “Don” Watts, 74, Kingston Nov. 10th Violet Marie Nelson, 74, Harriman Ashley Marie Lively, 24, Rockwood Kathleen D. Waldo, 42, Kingston Nov. 11th Hal Jones, 94, Harriman Cora Ellen Ruppe, 94, Rockwood Nov. 12th Joe Wendell Harmon, 79, Harriman Mildred Sparks, 82, Rockwood Nov. 13th J.P. Collier, 76, Kingston Nov. 14th J.W. “Pat” Rector, 91, Rockwood Barbara Brown, 65, Rockwood Nov. 15th Coach David Currier, 65, Harriman Nov. 17th "Micky" Lands, 51, Harriman Regina K. Parks, 50, Oakdale Nov. 18th Mary (Wilson) Goble, 74, Harriman Nov. 19th Kenneth Robert Cook, Harriman Nov. 20th Anna R. Melhorn, 67, Ten Mile Nov. 21st Laurie J. Hall, 47, Kingston Nov. 22nd Harrell “Pat” Patterson, 89, Dyllis Jack Russell, 93, Blair Nov. 23rd Janice Daugherty, 74, Harriman

7 The Roane Reader

Who Wrote "Precious Lord"?

Back in 1932, I was 32 years old and a fairly new husband. My wife, Nettle and I were living in a little apartment on Chicago's South side.

One hot August afternoon I had to go to St. Louis, where I was to be the featured soloist at a revival meeting. I didn't want to go.

Nettie was in the last month of pregnancy with our first child. But a lot of people were expecting me in St. Louis.

I kissed Nettie good-bye, clattered downstairs to our Model A and, in a fresh Lake Michigan breeze, chugged out of Chicago on Route 66. However, outside the city, I discovered that in my anxiety at leaving, I had forgotten my music case. I wheeled around and headed back.

I found Nettie sleeping peacefully. I hesitated by her bed; something was strongly telling me to stay. But eager to get on my way, and not wanting to disturb Nettie, I shrugged off the feeling and quietly slipped out of the room with my music.

The next night, in the steaming St. Louis heat, the crowd called on me to sing again and again. When I finally sat down, a messenger boy ran up with a Western Union telegram. I ripped open the envelope. Pasted on the yellow sheet were the words: YOUR WIFE JUST DIED. People were happily singing and clapping around me, but I could hardly keep from crying out. I rushed to a phone and called home.

All I could hear on the other end was "Nettie is dead. Nettie is dead."

When I got back, I learned that Nettie had given birth to a boy. I swung between grief and joy. Yet that night, the baby died.

I buried Nettie and our little boy together, in the same casket. Then I fell apart. For days I closeted myself. I felt that God had done me an injustice. I didn't want to serve Him any more or write ; gospel songs. I just wanted to go back to that jazz world I once knew so well. But then, as I hunched alone in that dark apartment those first sad days, I thought back to the afternoon I went to St. Louis Something kept telling me to stay with Nettie. Was that something God? Oh, if I had paid more attention to Him that day, I would have

stayed and been with Nettie when she died.

From that moment on I vowed to listen more closely to Him.

But still I was lost in grief. Everyone was kind to me, especially a friend, Professor Fry, who seemed to know what I needed.

On the following Saturday evening he took me up to Malone's Poro College, a neighborhood music school. It was quiet; the late evening sun crept through the curtained windows. I sat down at the piano, and my hands began to browse over the keys. Something happened to me then. I felt at peace. I felt as though I could reach out and touch God.

I found myself playing a melody, once into my head they just seemed to fall into place: Precious Lord, take my hand, lead me on, let me stand! I am tired, I am weak, I am worn, through the storm, through the night lead me on to the light, Take my hand, precious Lord, Lead me home. the Lord gave me these words and melody, He also healed my spirit.

I learned that when we are in our deepest grief, when we feel farthest from God, this is when He is closest, and when we are most open to His restoring power. And so I go on living for God willingly and joyfully, until that day comes when He will take me and gently lead me home.

-Tommy Dorsey

Use the first letter of the words to find the titles to our favorite Christmas Carols.

WC ISMKSC HCSC LDB RATCT SCICTT GGROBAR JBR FTS IBTLALLC

DYHWIH AIWFCIMTFT SR RTRNR SCICTT HYAMLC TMWTOTY TTDOC LISLISLIS SR

Answers on Page 23

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8 The Roane Reader

Bible Quest

1. What were the religious leaders called who continually tried to trap Jesus with their questions?

2. What miracle did Jesus do for Lazarus?

3. On which mountain were the Israelites given the Ten Commandments?

4. Who was Solomon’s father?

5. What job did Jesus’ earthly father, Joseph, do?

6. How did Judas betray Christ?

7. Solomon judged wisely over the rightful mother of a child, but how did he determine who the child belonged 8. to?

9. Whose father was prepared to sacrifice him on an altar?

At the age of twelve, Jesus was left behind in Jerusa10. lem. Where did his parents find him?

When the disciples saw Jesus walking on water, what did they think he was?

If you are reading this, God chose to let you live another day... Be Thankful.

Bible Beat The Candy Cane

A significant symbol of Christmas Is the simple candy cane.

Its shape is the crook of the shepherd, One of the first who came.

The lively peppermint flavor is The regal gift of spice.

The white is Jesus' purity The red is sacrifice The narrow stripes are friendship And the nearness of his love.

Eternal sweet compassion A gift from God above The candy cane reminds us all Of how much God cared And like His Christmas gift to use It's meant to be broken and shared.

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december 2012

The "W" in Christmas

Each December, I vowed to make Christmas a calm and peaceful experience. I had cut back on nonessential obligations – extensive card writing, endless baking, decorating, and even overspending.

Yet still, I found myself exhausted, unable to appreciate the precious family moments, and of course, the true meaning of Christmas. My son, Nicholas, was in kindergarten that year.

It was an exciting season for a six year old. For weeks, he'd been memorizing songs for his school's "Winter Pageant. "I didn't have the heart to tell him I'd be working the night of the production.

Unwilling to miss his shining moment, I spoke with his teacher.

She assured me there'd be a dress rehearsal the morning of the presentation. All parents unable to attend that evening were welcome to come then. Fortunately, Nicholas seemed happy with the compromise. So, the morning of the dress rehearsal, I filed in ten minutes early, found a spot on the cafeteria floor and sat down.

Around the room, I saw several other parents quietly scampering to their seats.

As I waited, the students were led into the room. Each class, accompanied by their teacher, sat cross-legged on the floor. Then, each group, one by one, rose to perform their song. Because the public school system had long stopped referring to the holiday as "Christmas," I didn't expect anything other than fun, commercial entertainment songs of reindeer, Santa Claus, snowflakes and good cheer. So, when my son's class rose to sing, "Christmas Love," I was slightly taken aback by its bold title. Nicholas was aglow, as were all of his classmates, adorned in fuzzy mittens, red sweaters, and bright snowcaps upon their heads. Those in the front row- center stage held up large letters, one by one, to spell out the title of the song.

As the class would sing "C is for Christmas," a child would hold up the letter C. Then, "H is for Happy," and on and on, until each child holding up his portion had presented the complete message, "Christmas Love." The performance was going smoothly, until suddenly, we noticed a small, quiet, girl in the front row holding the letter "M" upside down - totally unaware her letter "M" appeared as a "W".

The audience of 1st through 6th graders snickered at this little one's mistake. But she had no idea they were laughing at her, so she stood tall, proudly holding her "W". Although many teachers tried to shush the children, the laughter continued until the last letter was raised, and we all saw it together.

A hush came over the audience and eyes began to widen. In that instant, we understood the reason we were there, why we celebrated the holiday in the first place, why even in the chaos, there was a purpose for our festivities. For when the last letter was held high, the message read loud and clear: "C H R I S T W A S L O V E" and, He still is.

IN MEMORY CHESTER H EDWARDS DEC 1ST

We Still Love You

Answers to

Bible Quest 1. (Mark 10:2) 2. (John 11:43-44) 3. (Exo 34:32) 4. (1 Ki 2:12) 5. (Matt 13:55)

6. (Luke 22:48) 7. (1 Ki 3:25) 8. (Gen 22:9) 9. (Luke 2:42-46) 10. (Matt 14:26)

december 2012

What does the Bible say about Giving to the poor?

2 Corinthians 9:7 - Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, [so let him give]; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.

2 Corinthians 8:12 - For if there be first a willing mind, [it is] accepted according to that a man hath, [and] not according to that he hath not.

Matthew 6:1-4 - Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven. (Read More...)

Luke 6:38 - Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

Matthew 6:20 - But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: Acts 20:34 - Yea, ye yourselves know, that these hands have ministered unto my necessities, and to them that were with me.

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Leviticus 27:30 - And all the tithe of the land, [whether] of the seed of the land, [or] of the fruit of the tree, [is] the LORD'S: [it is] holy unto the LORD. Mark 12:41-44 - And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much.

(Read More...)

1 Corinthians 6:11 - And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.

Bible Trivia Answers: 1. John the Baptist’s head (Matt 14:6-8) 2. Pushed the pillars over and the temple collapsed (Jdg 16:30) 3. Harp / Lyre (1 Sam 16:23) 4. Hunting (Gen 27:1-3,23) 5. To buy corn (Gen 42:2-3) 6. Jonathan (1 Sam 18:1) 7. Ruth (Ruth 1:16) 8. His (seamless) coat (Matt 27:35) 9. God with us (Matt 1:23) 10. Ask God for wisdom, in faith (Jam 1:5)

Bible Beat

9 The Roane Reader

You can play this online @ http://www.joanyedwards.com/crossword/ABC4cShepherdsVisitBabyJesus.html Shepherds Visit Baby Jesus, Luke 2:15-20 Christmas Dawn Mass 1. What gift did Salome, On Christmas Day many people visit relatives and friends to celebrate the gift that daughter of Herodias, ask God the Father gave us, Jesus Christ. Next time you visit someone, pray that God bless for after she danced for them with love and peace.

Herod?

Across 2. How did Samson kill all the 4. as soon as people in the temple?

5. understood 3. Which musical instrument 6. surprised did David play for Saul?

7. form of be 4. What was Esau doing while 10. human pump for Jacob stole his blessing? blood 5. Why did Jacob initially send 12. entire 14. people who Joseph’s brothers into protect sheep Egypt?

18. owned 6. Who was David’s great 19. not at home friend?

21. detected sounds 7. Who said “thy God shall be 22. objective case of my God”? they 8. Which of Christ’s belong24. memo ings did the soldiers cast 26. the other one lots for after they had crucifrom that fied him?

27. left 9. What does Emmanuel 29. giving praise mean?

31. used eyes to 10. What does James say we witness should do if we lack 33. shining back 34. hurry wisdom?

17. said 7. town where Jesus Down 20. pronoun for people was born 1. spouse of Mary 22. items 8. discovered 2. used to be 23. brought back 9. created 3. flat on your back For help, look up 25. baby 4. question word to 11. observe these Bible verses 28. mother of Jesus 13. maker of heaven and earth find out the item 30. fair 15. place where God and being talked about Psalms 34:17-18 Matthew 6:33 32. which person angels live Matthew 11:28 Philippians 4:6-7 5. held onto 16. giving approval 6. spiritual workers Jeremiah 29:11 Psalms 30:11 . of God Psalms 9:9 1 Peter 5:7 1 Peter 1:13-16 Isaiah 41:10 Isaiah 40:31 Psalms 30:5 Psalms 127:1-24 Romans 12:2 Proverbs 3:5-6 Philippians 4:4 Psalms 3:3 John 10:10 2 Timothy 1:7 Psalms 23:4

Bible Trivia

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10 The Roane Reader

Household Hints

 Repair scratches on surface of wood furniture: Simply fill in with appropriate shade of colored pencil.  Remove stubborn dirt/scuff marks on walls: furniture, tables, shoes, etc : Diaper wipes! Funny, but true! They work!  Grime on glass baking dishes: Soak in soapy water, then use the edge of a metal spoon to scrape away.  Silk flowers dull/dusty : Spray with hairspray. They will stay shiny and when they get dusty again, simply blow off with hair dryer.  Dog chewing on couch cushions: Pour a bit of lemon juice on corners.

Dogs do not like citrus.  Ants or other bugs around kitchen sink/bathroom: Put mixture of dish soap and water into empty spray bottle and keep handy. When you see the insects, spray with the mixture. The soap actually breaks down their exoskeletons and they die almost immediately.  Get rid of ring around the tub: Magic erasers! They are cheap and even generic brands work well! Cuts right through the dirt and saves hours of back pain from scrubbing with the standard brush and soap.  To make a room smell nice spray a fragrance you like onto a light bulb and when you turn on the light bulb it will let of the smell with the heat. --Caution - Only do this when the bulb is cold.  Keep your socks together in the wash and dry process. Get some safety pins and keep them by the washing machine for your socks .Pin the toes of the socks together so you save time matching them up after the laundry process.

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Penny Pinchers

Instead of throwing out used coffee grounds, leave half in the filter, then add half of the freshly ground coffee for a second pot.

Instead of replacing your travel-size toothpaste, refill it from your regular tube: Simply hold the nozzle of the big tube against the small one and slowly squeeze.

To save on fax paper, use both sides for cover sheets (or cut one sheet in half).

When the mayonnaise jar is almost empty and you just can't get that last little bit, sprinkle a few drops of vinegar inside, add flavorful herbs and shake well. You'll have enough salad dressing for one salad.

Stock up on cheap white paper plates - they have many uses and are less wasteful than paper towels. For example, you can place a plate in the microwave to contain splatters. Or cut one in half to scoop up spills.

After you take a dying battery out of a camera, try reusing it in a low-energy appliance - an alarm or a wall clock, for example. (Never mix old ones with new ones.) Better yet, invest in rechargeable batteries.

To make an inexpensive whisk broom, roll a section of the newspaper lengthwise, then cut across one end a few times and spread out the fringe. Use to brush away cobwebs or crumbs, then toss it out.

NOTICE

Some of our recipes, hints and articles are submitted by our readers and we take no responsibility for their accuracy or consequences. The Roane Reader

december 2012

Aunt Hattie's "Hurry-Up" Recipes HATTIE SHILLINGS

Since you're going to be too busy preparing those main dishes for Thanksgiving, here's some yummy, easy recipes for deserts to top off that perfect dinner.

Eclair Cake 2 pkg vanilla pudding mix 1-8 oz. container whipped topping 3 cups milk

1-16 oz. pkg. graham cracker squares 1 -16 oz. package prepared chocolate frosting

In a medium bowl, thoroughly blend the pudding mix, whipped topping, and milk. Arrange a single layer of graham cracker squares in the bottom of a 13x9 inch baking pan. Evenly spread half of the pudding mixture over the crackers. Top with another layer of crackers and the remaining pudding mixture. Top with a final layer of graham crackers. Spread the frosting over the whole cake up to the edges of the pan. Cover, and chill at least 4 hours before serving.

Caramel Turtle Brownies 1 (14 ounce) package individually 6 tablespoons butter, melted wrapped caramels 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips 1 (12 fluid ounce) can evaporated 1/4 pound whole pecans milk 1 (18.25 ounce) package chocolate cake mix Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9x13 inch pan, set aside.

Unwrap caramels and place in saucepan with 2 Tablespoons evaporated milk. Melt over medium to low heat, stirring constantly. In a large bowl, combine the remaining evaporated milk, dry cake mix, and melted butter. Stir until well blended. Spread half of this mixture in the prepared pan. Bake for 10 minutes. Remove brownies from oven. Sprinkle chocolate chips and drizzle melted caramels over the top. Drop remaining cake mixture by teaspoonfuls over all.

Return to oven for 20 mins. Garnish with whole pecans if you'd like.

Caramel Pecan pie 1 (9 inch)unbaked pie crust 36 individually wrapped caramels, unwrapped 1/4 cup butter 1/4 cup milk

3/4 cup white sugar 3 eggs 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract 1/4 teaspoon salt 1 cup pecan halves

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a saucepan over low heat, combine caramels, butter and milk. Cook, stirring frequently, until smooth.

Remove from heat and set aside. In a large bowl, combine sugar, eggs, vanilla and salt. Gradually mix in the melted caramel mixture.

Stir in pecans. Pour filling into unbaked pie crust. Bake in the preheated oven for 45 to 50 minutes, or until pastry is golden brown.

Allow to cool until filling is firm.

Happy Birthday

Austin Christopher Dec. 11th

december 2012

Rudolph Trivia 1. Which reindeer was identified as Rudolph's father?

2. The Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Television special was originally aired on NBC in what year?

3. What comic book company based a series of 13 Annuals titled 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer'?

4. This reindeer helps Rudolph fly at the reindeer games by telling him he is cute.

5. What do they call the Abominable Snow Monster who pursues Rudolph throughout the adventure?

6. Who is the name of the jackin-the-box at the Island of Misfit Toys?

7. Also on the island of misfit toys was a toy bird who instead of flying did what?

8. This Johnny Marks song featured in the special has become a Christmas Classic.

9. What does the misfit cowboy ride on for transportation?

10. Which of the following toys was NOT on the island of misfit toys?

Trivia Answers

Donner; 1964; DC; Clarice; Bumble; Charlie; Swam; A Holly Jolly Christmas; An Ostrich; A bicycle with no handle-bars.

Happy 87th Birthday

ARNIS AMES Dec. 30th

Who started this whole Christmas mess?

A woman was out Christmas shopping with her two children.

After many hours of looking at row after row of toys and everything else imaginable. And after hours of hearing both her children asking for everything they saw on those many shelves, she finally made it to the elevator with her two kids.

She was feeling what so many... of us feel during the holiday season time of the year. Overwhelming pressure to go to every party, every housewarming, taste all the holiday food and treats, getting that perfect gift for every single person on our shopping list, making sure we don't forget anyone on our card list, and the pressure of making sure we respond to everyone who sent us a card.

Finally the elevator doors opened and there was already a crowd in the car. She pushed her way into the car and dragged her two kids in with her and all the bags of stuff. When the doors closed she couldn't take it anymore and stated, "Whoever started this whole Christmas thing should be found, strung up and shot."

From the back of the car everyone heard a quiet calm voice respond, "Don't worry we already crucified him."

For the rest of the trip down the elevator it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

Don't forget this year to keep the One who started this whole Christmas thing in your every thought, deed, purchase, and word. If we all did it, just think of how different this whole world would be.

Check out our online version in full color with interactive links and media!! www.roanereader.com or www.facebook.com/roanereader

11 The Roane Reader

Moron of the Month By: Jerry Lemons

Hilary Clinton Hilarious Hilary, as I like to call her, has been in the news lately. A picture was recently taken of her on her supposed Secretary of State tour of southeast Asia. It seems that Hilary likes Australian alcohol. She was seen boozing it up in Australia.

But all kidding aside, in my opinion Hilary Clinton is nothing more than a radical leftist socialist, intent on transforming this country into a socialist state.

The proof is in the pudding. When her husband Slick Willie was elected President, he appointed Hilary as head of a team that was going to radically transform the health care system in this country. Hilary was intent on totally socializing health and medical care. Fortunately there were enough votes in Congress to stop her.

Hilary Clinton is an intelligent socialist. She understands that change cannot be forced immediately. It must be gradual.

Hilary has always been a radical leftist socialist. When she was in college she supported and aided the racist leftist Black Panther party thugs, as well as other socialist organizations.

To use an old cliche, a leopard cannot change its spots--but it can camouflage them. And that's just what Hilary has done.

After she became First "Lady" she cut her hair short and toned down her rhetoric. She had her eyes on the ultimate prize--the presidency of the United States. And she would have made it if not for someone named Obama coming out of the woodwork.

Hilarious Hilary has never had to work for anything in her life. Early on, she grabbed hold of Slick Willie's coattails and went all the way to the White House. Then with his help and tens of millions of dollars provided by the Democrat party machine she bought herself a U.S. Senate seat.

When Obama threw her a sop as Secretary of State, Hilary already was licking her chops on a 2016 presidential run. And make no mistake about, she will run in 2016 and may just win the presidency. If she does, I predict that by 2020 the United States of America will have become transformed into a socialist state wherein the government will have control of every facet of the citizens' lives.

Hilary Clinton has been a radical leftiest socialist since her college days. She hasn't changed one bit.

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12 The Roane Reader

december 2012

THE PHANTOM (Can You Find Me¿) This Months Picture NEW THIS MONTH DUE TO OVERWHELMING SUCCESS ALL CORRECT ENTREES WILL BE ENTERED INTO A SECOND CHANCE DRAWING. The second chance drawing will be held every other month and the winner will be selected at random. Now you can play all month long and still have a chance to win. Please only one guess per person.

We will announce the winners of the competition in the following month’s issue. PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, EMAIL(optional) and PHONE NUMBER. ANSWERS MUST BE VERY SPECIFIC!!

Entrees that fail to provide all this information will not qualify!

Christmas Facts you probably don't know Clement Clarke Moore didn't want 'Twas the Night Before Christmas' published

Also known as 'A Visit From St. Nicholas,' the famous Christmas poem that practically invented the modern concept of Santa almost stayed in the drawer. Moore, a 19th century author and classics professor, wrote the poem for his family to celebrate Christmas in 1922, allegedly drawing inspiration for Santa from a pudgy Dutch driver who took his family on a sleigh ride. But Moore never intended for it to be made public. In fact, a close friend of Moore's actually sent the poem to the Sentinel newspaper, where it was published anonymously. The writer felt the poem was beneath his talents, and when it was published and became a huge hit, he denied authoring it for nearly 15 years. (It was eventually included in an anthology of Moore's work thanks to the urging of his kids.)

Santa has a real postal zip code

Every year, post offices across America, Canada and other parts of the world are flooded with letters from kids addressed to Santa Claus. The Canadian Post Office receives so many that some postal workers started answering the letters. As the demand increased, the postal service set up a special zip code for Santa as part of their annual “Santa Letter-writing Program” literacy initiative. The zip code? H0H 0H0, of course.

Donner and Blitzen weren't originally part of Santa’s reindeer

The reindeer that take Santa on his trip also underwent some rebranding through history. In the original draft of 'A Visit from St. Nicholas,' Donner and Blitzen went by the far clunkier monikers “Dunder” and “Blixem.” The names, much like Santa, were taken from the Dutch oath for the words that mean “thunder and lightning.” Over time, editors tinkered with the reindeer names we are familiar with today. After all, it's pretty hard to think of Rudolph as the outcast reindeer when he's on a team with a guy named “Dunder.”

Candy canes used to be “pure white”

"The Phantom" Winners of November

Congratulations to: Samantha Ramdhan Answer given: "First Christian Church in Rockwood"

Second Chance Drawing

Next Drawing will be held at the end of the month.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

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Few things say Christmas more than those sugary sticks of red and white deliciousness. There was a time, however, when they weren't red and white.(Although we imagine they were still pretty tasty.) The familiar Christmas treats started popping up around the 17th century as Europeans started using trees to celebrate the Christian holiday season and made special foods to decorate them with. Candy canes first appeared around 1670 when a cathedral choirmaster would hand out the all-white confections to children to keep them occupied during Christmas mass. While no one knows exactly who gave candy canes their stripes, one (unproven) theory has it that the “J” shape was once meant to stand for Jesus and the three stripes represent the Holy Trinity. (Red is meant to represent the blood of Christ. Chew over that the next time you bite into a tasty candy cane.)

Teddy Roosevelt banned Christmas trees at the White House

Today, the White House's annual Christmas tree lighting is a hallowed tradition. But try telling that to Teddy Roosevelt, who didn’t think the event was very majestic. In fact, he found it so infuriating that he enacted a total ban on putting up a tree in the White House during his term. In fact, in 1902, Roosevelt's son Archie snuck his own Christmas tree into the house which he hid in a closet. Was the 26th President a Scrooge? Nope, just an avid outdoors men and conservationist who found deforestation revolting.

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december 2012

Joseph’s letter to his Mom

Dear Mom, We're still in Bethlehem--Mary and I and little Jesus.

There were lots of things I couldn't talk to you about last summer. You wouldn't have believed me then, but maybe I can tell you now. I hope you can understand.

You know, Mom, I've always loved Mary. You and dad used to tease me about her when she was still a girl. She and her brothers used to play on our street. Our families got together for supper. But the hardest day of my life came scarcely a year ago when I was twenty and she only fifteen. You remember that day, don't you?

The trouble started after we were betrothed and signed the marriage agreement at our engagement. That same spring Mary had left abruptly to visit her old cousin Elizabeth in Judea. She was gone three whole months. After she got back, people started wondering out loud if she were pregnant.

It was cloudy the day when I finally confronted her with the gossip. "Mary," I asked at last, "are you going to have a baby?"

Her clear brown eyes met mine. She nodded.

I didn't know what to say. "Who?" I finally stammered.

Mom, Mary and I had never acted improperly--even after we were betrothed.

Mary looked down. "Joseph," she said. "There's no way I can explain. You couldn't understand. But I want you to know I've never cared for anyone but you." She got up, gently took my hands in hers, kissed each of them as if it were the last time she would ever do that again, and then turned towards home. She must have been dying inside. I know I was.

The rest of the day I stumbled through my chores. It's a wonder I didn't hurt myself in the woodshop. At first I was angry and pounded out my frustrations on the doorframe I was making. My thoughts whirled so fast I could hardly keep my mind on my work. At last I decided just to end the marriage contract with a quiet divorce. I loved her too much to make a public scene.

I couldn't talk to you. Or anyone, for that matter. I went to bed early and tried to sleep.

Her words came to me over and over. "I've never cared for anyone but you.... I've never cared for anyone but you...." How I wished I could believe her!

I don't know when I finally fell asleep. Mom, I had a dream from God. An angel of the Lord came to me. His words pulsated through my mind so intensely I can remember them as if it were yesterday.

"Joseph, son of David," he thundered, "do not fear to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit."

I couldn't believe my ears, Mom. This was the answer! The angel continued, "She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

The angel gripped my shoulders with his huge hands. For a long moment his gaze pierced deep within me. Just as he turned to go, I think I saw a smile on his shining face.

I sat bolt upright in bed. No sleep after that! I tossed about for a while, going over the words in my mind. Then I got up and dressed quietly so I wouldn't wake you.

I must have walked for miles beneath the moonless sky. Stars pricked the blackness like a thousand tiny pinpoints. A warm breeze blew on my face.

I sang to the Lord, Mom. Yes, me, singing, if you can imagine that. I couldn't contain my joy. I told Him that I would take Mary and care for her. I told Him I would watch over her--and the child--no matter what anyone said.

I got back just as the sun kissed the hilltops. I don't know if you still recall that morning, Mom. I can see it in my mind's eye as if it were yesterday. You were feeding the chickens, surprised to see me out. Remember?

"Sit down," I said to you. "I've got to tell you something." I took your arm and helped you find a seat on the big rock out back. "Mom," I said, "I'm going to bring Mary home as my wife. Can you help make a place for her things?"

You were silent a long time. "You do know what they're saying, don't you, son?" you said at last, your eyes glistening.

"Yes, Mom, I know."

13 The Roane Reader

Your voice started to rise. "If your father were still alive, he'd have some words, I'll tell you. Going about like that before you are married. Disgracing the family and all.

You... you and Mary ought to be ashamed of yourselves!"

You'd never have believed me if I'd tried to explain, so I didn't. Unless the angel had spoken to you, you'd have laughed me to scorn.

"Mom, this is the right thing to do," I said.

And then I started talking to you as if I were the head of the house. "When she comes I don't want one word to her about it," I sputtered. "She's your daughter-in-law, you'll respect her. She'll need your help if she's to bear the neighbors' wagging tongues!"

I'm sorry, Mom. You didn't deserve that. You started to get up in a huff.

"Mom," I murmured, "I need you." You took my hand and got to your feet, but the fire was gone from your eyes.

"You can count on me, Joseph," you told me with a long hug. And you meant it. I never heard another word. No bride could hope for a better mother-in-law than you those next few months.

Mom, after I left you I went up the road to Mary's house and knocked. Her mother glared at me as she opened the door. Loudly, harshly she called into the house, "It's Joseph!" almost spitting out my name as she said it.

My little Mary came out cringing, as if she expected me give her the back of my hand, I suppose. Her eyes were red and puffy. I can just imagine what her parents had said.

We walked a few steps from the house. She looked so young and afraid. "Pack your things, Mary," I told her gently. "I'm taking you home to be my wife."

"Joseph!" She hugged me as tight as she could. Mom, I didn't realize she was so strong.

I told her what I'd been planning. "We'll go to Rabbi Ben-Ezer's house this week and have him perform the ceremony."

I know it was awfully sudden, Mom, but I figured the sooner we got married the better it would be for her, and me, and the baby.

"Mary, even if our friends don't come, at least you and I can pledge our love before God." I paused. "I think my Mom will be there. And maybe your friend Rebecca would come if her dad will let her. How about your parents?"

I could feel Mary's tiny frame shuddering as she sobbed quietly.

"Mary," I said. I could feel myself speaking more boldly. "No matter what anyone says about you, I'm proud you're going to be my wife. I'm going to take good care of you. I've promised God that."

She looked up.

I lowered my voice. "I had a dream last night, Mary. I saw an angel. I know."

The anguish which had gripped her face vanished. She was radiant as we turned away from the house and began to walk up the hill together.

Just then her mother ran out into the yard. "Wait," she called. She must have been listening from behind the door. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"I'll get your father," she called, almost giddy with emotion. "We," she cried as she gathered up her skirts. "We," she shouted as she began to run to GREAT RATES Ę SUPERIOR COVERAGE find her husband.

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14 The Roane Reader

Mother, Interrupted:

december 2012

The Cat’s in the cradle̶I mean, refrigerator 

By: Debra Carpenter

Find more Mother, Interrupted: @ debra.carp@yahoo.com http://www.interruptedmum.blogspot.com http://www.facebook.com/MotherInterrupted 

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Children, those blessed joys that grace our lives with humor, wonder, and ungodly messes. How we love them. They are so innocent, so perfect in their tiny-ness. Nothing compares to the love of a child, because they can’t tell how strange you are yet and just don’t know any better. In the words of the South, bless their little (tiny) hearts.

You know who doesn’t think children are innocent gifts from God? Animals. More specifically, pets. Getting even more specific, our cat, Huck. What reasons could Huck the cat possibly have for thinking children are evil masterminds plotting his destruction? Do the words “cat” and “refrigerator” mean anything to you? They meant something to my daughter last week, when it apparently seemed reasonable to put our sweet little kitty in the fridge and then stand guard in front of it so Mom and Dad didn’t let him out.

Before you ask, my daughter is a very pleasant little girl. She is always smiling, dancing, laughing, and making jokes (or at least saying things that make me laugh).

She does not like to hurt animals and she is normally very loving with Huck. However, on this day, Huck had eaten her snack and aroused her 2 years of pent-up aggression.

So, naturally, she put him in the refrigerator to teach him a lesson.

My husband and I were talking when we heard the sound of a cat in distress. His first thought? “Debra! There’s a cat trapped under our house! Maybe in the walls!” …Yeah, hubby. Let’s start with logical conclusions, then move on to your emergency ones. So, of course, I decide we need to walk around the house and make sure Huck wasn’t trapped in a room. Coming into the kitchen, my daughter sees me and runs toward the refrigerator. She stands in front of the door and says, very sweetly, “Where’s Huckle cat? He is cold. I miss him.” And just like that, it became very clear where the sound was coming from. And yes, he was cold.

When we made Molly apologize to the cat, she didn’t seem all that sorry. “He ate my snack! –ugh- Sorry, Huckle cat. Sorry I made you go in the refrigerator.” Sorry indeed.

The moral of the story is, you can either have a toddler OR a pet. If you’ve already got a toddler, and you’re thinking about getting a pet, consider calling pets “experiments” instead to dissuade you. Your toddler will run lots of complicated experiments on them.

How many crackers can I feed the pet without it throwing up, can I ride on this pet, how can I make this pet talk to me, what happens when I throw a toy at the pet, and does this pet want to wear clothes like me? My only question is, Huck, why don’t you just run away from my daughter when she walks toward you? We must have a masochistic cat on our hands.

God bless him.

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Fun & Facts for kids only

december 2012

Christmas Legends and Traditions Christmas stocking

According to legend, a kindly nobleman grew despondent over the death of his beloved wife and foolishly squandered his fortune. This left his three young daughters without dowries and thus facing a life of spinsterhood.

The generous St. Nicholas, hearing of the girls' plight, set forth to help. Wishing to remain anonymous, he rode his white horse by the nobleman's house and threw three small pouches of gold coins down the chimney. The bags fell into the stockings the young women had hung by the fireplace to dry.

Poinsettias

A native Mexican plant, poinsettias were named after Joel R. Poinsett, U.S. ambassador to Mexico who brought the plant to America in 1828. One legend has it that a young Mexican boy, on his way to visit the village Nativity scene, realized he had no gift for the Christ child. He gathered pretty green branches from along the road and brought them to the church. Though the other children mocked him, when the leaves were laid at the manger, a beautiful star-shaped flower appeared on each branch. The bright red petals, often mistaken for flowers, are actually the upper leaves.

Mistletoe

Ancient Celtics believed mistletoe had magical healing powers and used it as an antidote for poison, infertility, and to ward off evil spirits. The plant was also seen as a symbol of peace, and it is said that enemies who met under mistletoe would lay down their weapons and embrace. Scandanavians associated the plant with Frigga, their goddess of love, and it may be from this that we derive the custom of kissing under the mistletoe. Those who kissed under the mistletoe had the promise of happiness and good luck in the following year.

We want to see your best ARTWORK!

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Send us your drawings along with your name and age.

We will put your pictures in The Roane Reader Send them to: 501 Evergreen Dr. Harriman, TN 37748 or email to info@roanereader.com

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Pringle can cookie holder Use Pringles containers for Christmas goodies that you're mailing. You clean out the inside with paper towels letting them absorb most of the oil that might be left in the can. Then using paper, fabric, or wrapping paper cover the outside. Hot glue works best for the fabric and wrapping paper; white glue or tacky glue is sometimes better for construction paper.

Decorate the outside however like.

Once the outside is decorated, put waxed paper inside, lining the tube. You can stack cookies into the can just like the chips used to be. If there is a little space at the top and another cookie won't fit you can use a little waxed paper to act as packing. Put the top back on and you have a wonderful cookie gift for friends, etc.

Happy Birthday

Justin Christopher Dec. 27th

Christmas Word Search ANGEL BELLS BETHLEHEM CANDLES CANDY CANE CAROLS DECORATIONS EGGNOG FAMILY FRIENDS FRUITCAKE GABRIEL GIFTS GOLD GREETING CARDS HOLLY ICICLES JESUS JOSEPH

15 The Roane Reader

Make your own paint Create a picture of a cool, snowy afternoon without having to step outside! Materials Needed: · Shaving cream (foam) · White glue · Construction paper · Food coloring (optional) · Small plastic bowl (one per color)· Small paintbrush (or Q-tips) Step One: If you'd like your snow painting to have color, mix a small amount of glue with a drop of food coloring in a plastic bowl. If you'd like your painting to appear white, do not add any food coloring to the glue.

Step Two: Add an equal amount of shaving cream to the colored glue.

Step Three: Make a new mixture for each color you'd like to paint.

Step Four: Use the paintbrush or a Q-tip to paint pictures with the shaving cream on a piece of construction paper.

Step Five: Let the picture dry.

When the picture has dried, the shaving cream will be puffy -- just like real snow!

Puffy Paint

·Shaving Cream ·Elmer's White Glue ·Food Coloring Simply mix equal parts of shaving cream and Elmer's glue. Add food coloring, a few drops at a time, until you get the desired color.

Apply the glue to heavy paperboard using a sponge brush. Let the painting dry.

Chalkboard paint

·Plaster of Paris ·Acrylic Paint ·Water ·Measuring Spoon/Cup ·Bow ·Stir stick Mix 3 parts paint, 2 parts Plaster of Paris, and 1 part water.

Start out by measuring your Plaster of Paris into a bowl (approx. 2 tablespoons of Plaster of Paris). Add 1 tablespoon of water to the Plastic of Paris. Mix this until you get out all of the lumps. Once you get a smooth mixture, add three tablespoons of gray acrylic paint. Again, mix it well. May need to place 3 coats of the chalkboard paint. It dries very quickly. Cover your paint tightly while you are waiting for the paint to dry. You will want to use your chalkboard paint as quickly as you can before it hardens. Let it dry over night before writing on it.

LIGHTS MANGER MARY MISTLETOE MYRRH ORNAMENTS SANTA SHEPHERDS SKATES SLEIGH SNOWFLAKES SNOWMAN STABLE STAR STOCKING THREE WISE MEN TOYS TREE WREATH

16 The Roane Reader

december 2012

Will Your Retirement Plan Soon Become Washington’s ATM Machine?

Following the nationalization of health care – Washington is turning its attention to another broken program, the private retirement system.

Today over $15 trillion is sitting in tax-favored retirement plans, including $4 trillion in IRA accounts.

Retirement savings make up 35% of all private assets. Washington is broke, the deficit is soaring and Congress simply can’t wait for Americans to retire so they can start taxing these funds. The politicians are tired of waiting; they need your money now.

The nationalization will begin with a modest proposal to increase retirement security and basically create a new, third level of mandatory retirement benefits in addition to private plans and Social Security. This will be described as a Guaranteed Retirement Annuity. Teresa Ghilarducci is the author of this leftist plan which first appeared in 2007 at the Economic Policy Institute: Agenda for Shared Prosperity. In 2008, she became the new Director of the Schwartz Center for Economic Policy Analysis at the New School for Social Research. In her book When I’m 64: The Plot Against Pensions and the Plan To Save Them, she hypes her retirement solution for millions who do not have adequate retirement savings. Her ultimate solution is to confiscate most of the retirement assets of successful and wealthy Americans.

In the proposal, the government will even make an annual contribution to every citizen’s account of around $600 annually, covering the unemployed, underemployed and all working Americans. The initial problem for productive, successful Americans is that Washington will require, in exchange for their contribution, that all working Americans contribute 5% of their annual salaries or income into this new “guaranteed account” managed and run by the hard-working bureaucrats at the Social Security System. Successful Americans will of course complain about losing the deduction for this contribution, which is little more than a new 5% tax on income. But this is just the beginning of the problem for Americans with substantial retirement savings and outstanding benefits.

Different proposals would delay retirement age until age 64, or even 70. The guaranteed retirement annuity would be structured to allow the government to hold

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and invest all the money. Unlike your current private plan, it would be very difficult for members to withdraw their money before and even after retirement, except over the life expectancy of the participant.

Implementation of the contributory GRA program, a future legislative action by Congress would be to end the tax deductions and tax-deferred growth of all retirement plans This would force these funds into the government controlled annuity.

Your forced retirement contributions would be pooled and professionally managed

by Social Security. Your beneficiaries would be cheated out of half of any benefits remaining at the death of a participant. Ghilarducci’s plan has 50% of all balances at death reverting to the Feds, not the beneficiaries.

At some time during the next few years, a global run on treasury debt and the dollar will likely take the American stock market down past lows not seen since the financial meltdown crisis in 2008 and 2009. The 50% to 75% stock market pullback during the actual bankruptcy of the Washington debt and paper dollar will send shock waves through retirees and current plan participants… Their 401k, IRA and private retirement plan balances will collapse.

Now, Washington will “come to the rescue” (Never letting a good crisis go to waste) and guarantee all 401k and IRA retirement plan market values back to pre-crisis levels. The gullible American public will overwhelmingly support this effort by switching their dwindling funds into the Guaranteed Retirement Annuity managed by the government. For the first few years, Washington will probably label those of us who warned Americans about the potential loss their retirement benefits as extremists, Ron Paul paranoids and Tea Party advocates.

You Will Be Forced to Become the Final Buyer of Last Resort for Collapsing Washington Treasury Obligations. You know, the bonds the Chinese no longer want to own.

Bob Tonachio is CEO of Robert James & Associates. He serves on the board of The Complementary Health Education Organization (a non-Profit company) He may be contacted at 1-865-376-4925. Email: robjames1@msn.com websites: www.robertjames.us or http://forhealthrobjames1.my90forlife.com

Christmas facts Christmas is an annual celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. The exact year of Jesus' birth is not universally agreed upon.

The holiday is normally celebrated annually on December 25.

Since 1870, Christmas Day has been a federal holiday in the United States.

Around 95% of Americans indicate that they celebrate this holiday but the amount of people who say that they put up trees is less than 90%.

The name Santa Claus originated from the Dutch word Sinterklaas which means Saint Nicholas.

The poem "The Night Before Christmas", published anonymously in 1823, is generally credited for creating the modern day idea of Santa Claus.

Christmas is celebrated by both Christians and non-Christians around the world.

The busiest days of the year in terms of Church attendance revolve around Christmas and Easter.

The custom of decorating a Christmas tree has been traced back to the 15th century.

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december 2012

The Roane Reader proudly presents

17 The Roane Reader

THE WRITER'S PAGE In Loving Memory of Cole Heide The Gift of Christmas When Christmas arrives again this year we will cry because you are not here.

We will miss you in all we do, Christmas isn't as merry without you.

We know you won't shed a tear, you will be joyful and full of cheer.

For you are in HEAVEN, that beautiful place, seeing the smile on our Savior's face.

Oh, to spend Christmas with our Lord, to kneel and call Him "most adored."

What better way to share Christ's birth than in Heaven instead of Earth?

So celebrate with the angels and know, we love you, we miss you, our precious COLE. We will see you one day, in Heaven, Mom (Jill), Aunt Joni, Uncle Mike, Cousin Barrett, Grand and Nin Written with Love by your Aunt Joni

Hello, my name is DRUGS - I destroy homes, tear families apart, take your children, and that's just the start.

I'm more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold, the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.

And if you need me, I'm easily found, I live all around you, in schools and in town.

I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door.

My power is awesome; try me, you'll see.

But if you do, you may NEVER break free.

Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I'll own your soul.

When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie.

You do what you have to just to get high.

The crimes you'll commit, for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in my arms.

by: Judy Reid I give you a Christmas gift, that can’t be put in a box or wrapped with a bow.

But a gift you can place in your heart and take wherever you go!

This gift is so valuable; it can’t be purchased with silver or gold.

But is free to every human soul!

This gift I give you is full LOVE--for LOVE brings JOY and these are two things you can never have too much of.

PEACE I leave with you, to comfort your mind.

PATIENCE is a virtue that I hope you will find.

KINDNESS and GOODNESS are gifts that come from above; FAITHFULNESS is a treasure that can only be found in heart’s full of love.

GENTLENESS is a gift if Grace that rains down on you today SELF-CONTROL is a gift that shines bright, reflecting what I am in your life.

I hope you can see that I have blessed you with the gift of Me, I was born many years ago, with one purpose--to save your soul.

My name is JESUS CHRIST and I’m honored to be your Christmas gift--LIFE!

I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to give.

When I'm finished with you you'll be lucky to live.

If you try me be warned this is no game.

If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.

I'll ravage your body; I'll control your mind.

I'll own you completely; your soul will be mine.

The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed, the voices you'll hear from inside your head.

The sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see; I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.

But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part.

You'll regret that you tried me, they always do, but you came to me, not I to you.

You knew this would happen. Many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.

You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad.

You could have said no, and just walked away.

When you see their tears, you should feel sad.

But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised, If you could live that day over, now what would you say?

I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.

I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from God, and separate friends.

I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I'll be with you always, right by your side.

You'll give up everything... your family, your home your Colefriends, Heideyour money, then you'll be alone.

I'll be your master; you will be my slave, I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave.

Now that you have met me , what will you do?

Will you try me or not? Its all up to you.

I can bring you more misery than words can tell.

Come take my hand, let me make your life hell.

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18 The Roane Reader

Down Syndrome What to expect?

Adolescents with Down syndrome undergo the same hormonal changes during puberty as typically developing children.

What should one expect for adults with Down syndrome?

Individuals with Down syndrome live longer than ever before. Due to full inclusion in society, many adults with Down syndrome now live semi-independently, enjoy relationships, work, and contribute to their community.

Adults with Down syndrome also age faster than average. The older they become, the higher the risk of developing hypothyroidism, late-onset seizures (tonic-clonic seizures in particular), memory loss, and dementia. By age 40, many individuals with Down syndrome will show signs of dementia and early-onset Alzheimer's disease. By age 60, 50% to 70% of adults will develop Alzheimer's disease. Why individuals with Down syndrome age prematurely and why they develop Alzheimer's disease is not entirely clear. At least one gene (the amyloid precursor protein) on chromosome 21 is thought to be involved in Alzheimer's disease.

Since individuals with Down syndrome have three copies of this gene, it is likely that this gene contributes to the increased occurrence of Alzheimer's disease in this population.

Detecting dementia and early signs of Alzheimer's disease is a challenge in individuals with Down syndrome who are often already cognitively impaired. It is important for caregivers and doctors to be aware of changes in skills necessary for independence.

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls."

This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?"

Her response, "Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying 'All Men'!"

Scott McCluen

ATTORNEY AT LAW

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december 2012

Indians predicting a cold winter It was fall, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new chief if the winter was going to be mild or cold. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, so when he looked to the sky, he couldn’t tell what the weather would be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was going to be cold and the members should collect wood to be prepared.

But, also being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea.

He went to the phone booth and called the National Weather Service to see what the coming winter was predicted to be like. The meteorologist told the chief that it looked like it was going to be a cold winter, so the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.

A week later, the Chief called the National Weather Service again and asked if they were still predicting a cold winter. His answer was a strong, “Yes, most definitely a cold winter.” He then went back to the tribe and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

Two weeks later, the Chief called the National Weather Service again just to make sure they were still predicting a cold winter.

“Absolutely”, they told the Chief, “it’s going to be one the coldest winters ever!”

The Chief then asked how they could be so sure about their predictions. The weatherman replied, “Because the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!”

december 2012

Royal Thai - Ban U-Tapao 631st Combat Support Group 635th Civil Engineering Squadron APO San Francisco 96330 10 July 1966 - 30 April 1967

PETE SEMANICK Operation “Limelight 254 - FL2148”: orders were received and off I went to 78th Combat Support Group, Hamilton AFB in California to qualify in weapons and combat duty. This would be a short stay as my assignment to the Southeast Asia was rush, rush, rush.

I was informed that a newly constructed military installation located in southern Thailand would be my home away from home for a year. In military jargon this was commonly referred to as “a remote assignment”, which meant my family would not accompany me.

The most difficult part of my short stay at Hamilton AFB was the immunization requirement. The medics at the local dispensary were well experienced at giving shots. After three easy shots, I was told to be prepared for a whammy - the fantastic immunization for “plague”, administered in the hip area. Within minutes I had a swollen area about the size of a small hen egg. Now you talk about hurting, this thing was excruciating, but I suffered through the agony and soon forgot about my trouble.

I was issued several types of weapons (hand gun and rifles) and instructed on their proper use for self-defense and how to stay alive.

The shooting range was different from any thing I had ever seen.

Instead of the usual stationary targets, the course was full of human-shaped moving targets. Buildings, mounds of earth and trees were scattered throughout a large area and the “human” targets popped up everywhere during firing operations. I soon figured out the system and achieved combat qualification status and certification.

After the combat training I returned to Whiteman for final out-processing. I soon finalized all necessary paperwork and the moving company soon arrived to pack household goods and my hold baggage. Fortunately my in-laws had a rental house in Las Vegas, Nevada and I was thankful my family would have a nice place to live during my absence.

I quickly learned my assignment to Southeast Asia would involve a temporary duty stopover at 6237 Support Squadron, Tachikawa Air Base near Tokyo, Japan, which meant I would be in transition for an unknown period of time. After arriving at Tachikawa, I was assigned temporary duty with the local fire department. Realizing I would be there for only a short time, the Fire Chief decided I would fill-in only when needed, but I don’t remember ever being needed as the Chief had sufficient senior NCO's. Special orders soon arrived indicating my ultimate duty station to be 635th Combat Support Group, 635th Civil Engineering Squadron, Ban U-Tapao (Royal Thailand Naval Station). I was very eager to depart Tachikawa, but for some reason my liaison officer did not share my thinking. After a few days of questioning him on why I wasn’t allowed to get on my way, I received a long letter from my wife in the states telling me all about Ban U-Tapao. She had seen Walter Cronkite on the evening news where he gave a thorough analysis on this very base. In her letter she shared a lot of information about my new assignment.

As soon as I read the letter I headed for the office of my liaison officer. I showed him the letter from my wife, and as his face turned red, he exclaimed that what my wife had written was “classified information”. Her letter recounting Cronkite’s news report detailed the layout of the giant air base, runways, flight line, assignment of KC-135 and B-52 aircraft, explosive storage area, dormitory facilities, mission of the installation and the construction of the largest deep water harbor in SE Asia for off loading fuel in support of the Vietnam war.

He picked up the phone and called his headquarters at 315th Air Division, and told his counterpart about both my letter and my transient status with three other firemen. He was told to “get those firemen on their way as soon as possible.” The delay appeared to be a typical bureaucratic snafu with my crew of firemen and me lost in the shuffle. Needless to say, in a very short time we were on a C-54 aircraft bound for Bangkok. Evidently someone had made it clear that we were priority personnel and to expedite our movements.

Everything happened so fast the flight line box lunches became the highlight of the trip. The low altitude allowed us plenty of beautiful scenic sights during the flight. The cargo door had also been removed and all that separated us from the hot air was a cargo strap across the door opening.

C-54

Immediately upon arrival at Don Muang Air Base in Bangkok we were placed aboard a C-123 aircraft en route to Ban U-Tapao. The aircraft landed on a PSP (“pierced steel planking” in military jargon) runway on a landing strip in the middle of the jungle. As soon as the aircraft landed one engine revved up and to our surprise we saw the plane turn around for departure.

The tail opened up and the aircraft crew chief said, “this is it guys, off you go.” Once off the aircraft with our baggage, all we saw and heard were engines and the departure of the plane.

C-123

19 The Roane Reader

Todays Education

by: Bill Douglas The old three R's Reading, Riting, and Rithmatic.

Not so long ago, America led this world - top 5- in education - math, etc.

Billions of dollars and many elections later, America is NOW rated as 27th, or thereabouts.

Reading newspapers are disappearing at an alarming rate, and 90% of the 1950s magazines are gone.

School books are changed real often omitting “trivial stuff”. iPods, texting, etc, have nearly replaced these books.

Riting - why write when you can send symbols and pictures? Cursive writing is becoming extinct.

Rithmatic - Computers and calculators (and pictures on cash registers) do the math!

And on the other hand, the best punishment for the people who broke into Oak Ridge would be to make them go to Tokyo and protest Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7th.

Happy Birthday

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20 The Roane Reader

Funny Classified Ads

The Suicidal Goat

The abused child

A guy who was tired with life in the big city decided to take a vacation and go to the mountain, so he rented a chalet in the wilderness.

One day, as he was strolling, he got to the edge of a cliff. He carefully looked down and backed quickly, amazed: "gee, is this deep!". He took a pebble and threw it in, to see how long it takes until it gets down. It took a while, so he thought "that's really deep"; then he found a big stone and tossed it, and when it hit the ground with an almost inaudible sound he reckoned "this is what I call deep".

Having nothing else to do, he started to look around a found a large piece of rail. He strained a while, as it was pretty heavy, rusted and muddy, but he managed to push it over the cliff, and after some time, when he heard it hitting the ground with a big blast, he reasoned: "now that's something!".

He had just seated himself to rest when he saw a goat, bulgingeyed, heading at maximum speed directly to the bottomless pit.

There was nothing he could do, in no time the goat got on the edge and jumped.

The man was dazzled, "suicidal goat, who would have thought of that"; he was still under the strong impression of the goat's act, when a shepherd came by.

"Howdy there, did you happen to see a goat?", the shepherd asked. "Don't ask me" excitedly answered the man, "you've never seen anything like that in you life: a goat just came in galloping and jumped over the cliff with no hesitation".

The shepherd couldn't believe his ears; even more stunned than the man, all he could say was "How was this possible, I'm asking you, how in the world was this possible, I had tethered it to a large piece of rail!"

Knoxville, TN (AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Knox County Courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

Happy Birthday

Lennie McFalls Dec. 26th

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

december 2012

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The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more Full sized mattress. Like new. Slight urine smell. than his parents and he adamantly Free can of pork & beans with purchase of 3 br 2 bath home. refused to live with her. When the Judge then suggested that he live with his What does the Christmas Angel look like? grandparents, the boy cried out that they Angels come in all shapes and sizes; all ages and skin types. also beat him.

For example, the little old lady who returned your purse last week.

After considering the remainder of the They don't take life too seriously, they travel light. immediate family and learning that Remember the small child who showed you the wonder in simple domestic violence was apparently a way things. of life among them, the Judge took the An angel leaves no forwarding address, they ask nothing in return. unprecedented step of allowing the boy Like the poor man who offered to share his lunch with you. to propose who should have custody of Like the rich man who showed you that it really is all possible, if him. only you believe.

After two recesses to check legal Remember the stranger who just happened to come along, when references and confer with child welfare you had lost your way. officials, the judge granted temporary Think back to the friend who touched your heart, when you didn't custody to the University of Tennessee think you had one. football team, whom the boy firmly They are hard to find when your eyes are closed, but when you believes, at this time, is not capable of choose to see, angels are everywhere you look.

So, open your eyes and count all your Angels; for you are truly beating anyone. blessed.

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The Story Of Christmas From Luke 2: 1-20 And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, everyone into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."

And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us. And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child. And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

21 The Roane Reader

Every dollar collected for the ads you see on our coupons page will be donated to a local charity or cause. The Roane Reader will donate all the money to a different charity or cause each month. The coupons page will also be a great way to give back to the community as well. The Roane Reader feels very strongly about this great service and hopes lots of businesses participate. Having your name on this page will show your support and if you don't have a special running that month you can simply sponsor a spot on the page to make a donation to the cause.

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This Month: 100% of all the money collected for coupon spots claimed on this page is being donated to the

Christmas quotes 'There has been only one Christmas -- the rest are anniversaries.' W. J. Cameron 'Christmas is the keeping-place for memories of our innocence.' Joan Mills 'Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.' Norman Vincent Peale 'Peace on earth will come to stay, when we live Christmas every day.' Helen Steiner Rice 'The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.' 'I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.” Harlan Miller 'Remember, if Christmas isn't found in your heart, you won't find it under a tree.' Charlotte Carpenter 'A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small.' Eva K. Logue 'I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play, And wild and sweet the words repeat Of peace on earth, goodwill to men! - Longfellow 'I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.' Charles Dickens Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. Norm Papernick 'He who has no Christmas in his heart will never find Christmas under a tree.' Roy L. Smith.

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22 The Roane Reader

Funny Christmas Warnings

by: Travis Harmon

1.This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Television advert warning on a DIY electric rotary tool.

2.This product is not to be used in bathrooms.

On a bathroom heater given last year to Will's Aunt as a Christmas present.

3.Christmas Lights Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.

4.Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.

On a Christmas card for a 1 year old.

5.Do not use if you cannot see to read the information in the information booklet.

In the information booklet.

6.Do not place this product into any electronic equipment.

On the case of a chocolate CDs in a Christmas gift basket.

7.Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.

On a bottle of Christmas shampoo for dogs.

8.Keep out of reach of children and teenagers.

On a can of spray foam used to decorate glass at Christmas time.

9.Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death.

A label inside a protective bag containing fragile Christmas presents which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.

10.Battery may explore or leak.

On a battery found in a Christmas present.

With one swift overdose of tryptophan we have all successfully slept off the rush of the turkeyhangover of another Thanksgiving! Congratulations! You will now enter phase two of the “Holiday Blitz.”

If you thought Thanksgiving was a rush, just wait until you feel the effects of this Christmas season.

You may have started your shopping during the unreasonable early hours of Black Friday, or you may be one of the many men who will wait until Christmas Eve. Whatever your situation may be, you know that the rush is on. Decorations are being scattered, holiday family party tours are being planned, hiding places for presents have been chosen, and mini-vans are gassed and ready to race for the latest blue light specials. Somewhere in that hustle you should try to sit down with your family and watch some classic Christmas television shows.

A Christmas Story and A Charlie Brown Christmas are mandatory in the Harmon household. We will always have on A Christmas Story on Christmas day even though my Mother-In-Law thinks 12 hours of the classic is more than enough. We believe otherwise.

I’m also very partial to A Charlie Brown Christmas. It first aired in 1965 and has been the longest running cartoon special ever since. However, it didn’t develop without a challenge. Network executives fought vehemently to leave out key elements of the show such as the scene where Linus read from the book of Luke about the real reason for Christmas. When confronted about leaving out the scene, Charles Schulz asked, “If we don’t tell the true meaning of Christmas, who will?”

Forty-seven years later we are still faced with the same lingering question. Amidst the roller coaster that the holidays have become, please slow down and consider exactly what this holy day is all about.

Also, consider your grandchildren, kids, nieces, nephews, friends and neighbors who may also need to be reminded of the story. Consider that we usually share Jesus the most effectively by our actions more so than our words. Let’s prove that Christmas is much more than a commercial racket. Let’s not be too distracted by the commercialism and distractions that our society has tried to sell us. Let’s do something more this season than buy presents for people. Give people the gift of life, by sharing the truth of salvation that we were offered on that precious Christmas morning. What better gift could you give someone? If you don’t tell them the true meaning of Christmas, who will? of Christmas, who will?

More by Travis @ tharmon29.wordpress.com

What A Girl Wants For Christmas

The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a Emily, young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap. Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas?'

'Something for my mother, please,' replied Emily sweetly.

'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?'

Without turning a hair Emily answered quickly, 'A son-in-law.'

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ANSWERS TO CHRISTMAS CAROLS

The Baby Jesus It was the day after Christmas at St Paul’s church. St. John was looking at the nativity scene outside when he noticed the baby Jesus was missing from the figures.

Immediately, Father John's thoughts turned to calling in the local policeman but as he was about to do so, he saw little Nathan with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus.

Father John approached Nathan and asked him, 'Well, Nathan, where did you get the little infant?'

Nathan looked up, smiled and replied, 'I took him from the church.'

'And why did you take him?'

With a sheepish grin, Nathan said, 'Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to Jesus. I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas, I would give him a ride around the block in it.'

Note found under a glass of milk.

Dear Santa: If you leave me a new bicycle, I’ll give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk.

-Timmy Please visit us online for more information about The Roane Reader. You can view this publication in full color with interactive links, games and even more information from our wonderful advertisers. Visit www.roanereader.com to pay for advertising, subscriptions or buy a spot on our coupons page. If your interested in advertising visit our "advertise" page @

www.roanereader.com/advertise

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The Roane Reader has over 180 subscriptions in over 20 states with 100+ of those subscriptions being local.

But wait that's not all, we also have an online version that's viewed by 36 states and over 200 cities. Most of the views we get online are from people who have family in Roane County or once lived here. Your ad will be seen. You can view it online at www.roanereader.com. Please, we encourage you to check it out.

Other papers have tried to duplicate The Roane Reader but there is no other publication like it, and its all because of God. What the other papers are missing is HEART, we do this because we love it.

This is your paper and we want to provide the best customer service possible. Our advertisers and readers are highly cherished and if there is anything you would like to see in this publication we will plan to serve you. For the businesses who already advertise, we would like to give you a huge "Thank You" for your support.

23 The Roane Reader

Questions on Page 7

White Christmas I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus Here Comes Santa Claus Little Drummer Boy Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree Santa Claus Is Coming To Town Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer Jingle Bell Rock Frosty the Snowman It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

Do You Hear What I Hear All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth Sleigh Ride Rudolph, The Red Nosed Reindeer Santa Claus is Coming To Town Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas The Most Wonderful Time of The Year The Twelve Days of Christmas Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow Sleigh Ride

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