Valley Living Winter 2016 by Valley Living

Winter 2016

An amazing little local museum Spotlight on Ross Foster The real Nativity scene

Bridgewater family cultivates creative authors

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2 living • Winter 2016

Contents 4 Interconnected 5 Community Connections 6 Bridgewater family cultivates creative authors 10 An amazing little local museum 12 Get a hobby 14 Travel weary couple seeks refuge 16 Parenting resolutions for the not-so-perfect parent 17 Chicken and Rice Casserole 18

Home alone?

19 Shenandoah Spotlight on Ross Foster 20 When your fiancé is deployed 22 The real Nativity scene 24 Get kids involved sending Christmas messages

26 Mom’s Christmas no-knead coffee cakes 28 The birth of my sixth child 30 The troubled tummy: your child’s digestive distress 32 Long distance celebration 35

Word Search

In Every Issue

Community Connections pg. 5

Money Matters pg. 12

Family Forum pg. 14

Cooking Corner pg. 17

Shenandoah Spotlight pg. 19

Living can be found at these locations, and more, throughout the Valley: Harrisonburg DQ Grill & Chill, Carlton St. DQ Grill Harmony Square Friendly City Food Coop Gift and Thrift Golden Corral Hardesty Higgins Harrisonburg Farmer’s Market Kate’s Natural Products Massanutten Regional Library Mercy House

Mr. J’s Harmony Square Red Front Supermarket Sentara RMH Clinic Sentara RMH Medical Center Rt. 11 North Exxon Salvation Army Store Sharp Shopper Shenandoah Heritage Farmers Market Styles Unlimited

Bridgewater/Dayton The Dayton Market Bridgewater Foods Supermarket Broadway/Timberville Broadway Supermarket Crider’s Store Mac’s Superette Turner Ham

Elkton/Shenandoah Countryside Market/Exxon 340 Market & Deli/Liberty Elkton Grocery Mamma Mia Restaurant Linville Mac’s Market Luray Shoppers Value Foods

Mt. Crawford Joy Foodmart Exxon

Penn Laird 7-Eleven On The Run

Mt. Solon/Augusta Co. Zach’s Country Store North River Country Store

Singer’s Glen Grandle’s Glenview Market

New Market 7-Eleven

Weyers Cave Weyers Cave Super Save

Cover photo: John Churchman cuddles two of his beloved animal friends who are often the subject of his own photography, now appearing in children’s books. PHOTO BY JENNIFER CHURCHMAN

Winter 2016 • living 3

Interconnected

What were you doing 25 years ago?

Twenty-five years ago in 1991, the first year Living was published, the Internet had not quite come into being (regardless of who you think “invented it.”) Today, a website called “Pop Culture U.S.” quickly puts at my fingertips a bevy of trivia from 1991 including this about who first provided some of the rudimentary beginnings of the World Wide Web: Tim Berners-Lee [British] came up with the idea of making “links” on his own computer, then others, creating “The Information Mine” (TIM) later renamed the “World Wide Web.” He renounced patent rights because it “would have scuppered [sank] the whole thing. It never would have taken off.” Also on the trivia list from 25 years ago: • Liz Taylor married hubby # 7, Larry Fortensky, at Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch. They met in a rehab center. • A 30-second superbowl ad cost $800,000. [One ad for 2017 Bowl? Five million.] • Ted Turner was Time magazine’s man of the year. • Two big movies that year, #2 and #3 on the list: “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves,” and “Beauty and the Beast.” My daughters will be happy to hear that. • Finally, the most popular TV shows were “60 Minutes” and “Roseanne.” Hmm. Into that world, the founder of Living, Eugene Souder, wanted to shine a light rather than bemoan the difficulties and absurdities. He assembled a board, found advertisers, collected articles and did some of the design himself, along with members of his family.

Into that world, the founder of Living, Eugene Souder, wanted to shine a light rather than bemoan the difficulties and absurdities. My daughters were just 10, 8 and 7 when I accepted Souder’s invitation to serve as local editor in 1991 (very part time). So it was special to be able to celebrate 25 years of publishing Valley Living with Eugene, his wife Alice, and about 50 friends, readers, board, family and advertisers in mid-October (see photo). As we near the end of this anniversary year, we send a huge thank you to everyone who has ever sent in a word search puzzle, commented on an article, shared the paper with friends, donated, participated in our special anniversary year contests (judges, entrants), or liked our page on Facebook! We thank readers who continue to love the publication we’ve created with the strength and viability of all our families in mind. I am also grateful this issue for the cooperation of sister-brother pair Beth Trissel and John Churchman to share their amazing publishing stories: Beth is a local, long time author plugging away, and John (with his wife Jennifer) published their first children’s book last year, and out with a second just in time for Christmas. John was a childhood fishing buddy of my husband’s, and the entire Churchman family was special to him as they included him in family outings (hiking and more) since his own mother was incapacitated with rheumatoid arthritis. They were like family to him, something we can all strive to be which strengthens not only family life, but the whole community. A blessed Christmas to each and everyone.

Melodie Davis, editor melodie@valleyliving.org

4 living • Winter 2016

Volume 25 No. 4

Valley Living inspires hope, encourages faith and builds positive relationships in the home, workplace and community. Media for Living, Publisher Melodie Davis, Editor Ivette Churney, Sales Representative Peter Churney, Sales Representative Mary Jo Veurink, Layout & Design Lindsey Shantz, Production & Finance Manager

Advertising

To reserve space in future editions (540) 433-5351 or info@valleyliving.org

Media for Living Board of Directors Trisha Blosser, President David Rohrer, Vice President Tracey Veney, Secretary Jonas Borntrager Beth Driver LaDawn Knicely Angela Rempel

Opinions expressed in Valley Living are not necessarily those of Media for Living. Published cooperatively with Media for Living, a non-profit corporation, 1251 Virginia Ave., Harrisonburg, VA 22802 (540) 433-5351 • info@valleyliving.org www.valleyliving.org Printed in the USA by Engle Printing, Mount Joy, Pa. © 2016 by Media for Living

Community Connections

“

Letters, local events, news

I enjoy this magazine so very much. It brings back a lot of special MEMORIES of my past. It also gives me INSPIRATION and THANKFULNESS. – Virginia Furry, Bridgewater Thanks so much.

Letters from readers

Daily issues I look forward to this magazine. Love all the stories. They are all about something we deal with on a daily basis. Also love the word search. Keep up the good work! –Annie Olaker, Shenandoah If you can’t do it right All the stories in Living are usually inspirational to me. However, in this issue, “Do it until it’s right” was especially meaningful and enlightening for me. The reason is my mother always told me, “If you can’t do it right, don’t do it at all.” This is only one of many wise things my mother told me that I remember that has helped me through life. My mother passed away on January 20, 2015, but thankfully I always have my memories of my wonderful, loving mother. –Teresa May, Rockingham

Jeff Ishee returns as host of “Virginia Farming” After a five-year hiatus, Shenandoah Valley broadcaster Jeff Ishee returns to his role as host of WVPT’s agriculture news program “Virginia Farming.” In 2011, Jeff resigned from the show to be Rockingham County Fairground’s general manager. “I am passionate about serving farm families and the agriculture industry,” says Ishee. “It allows me to meet some very interesting people and the opportunity to keep our audience informed about rural and agricultural issues.” Jeff joins current Virginia Farming host and producer Amy Roscher on the show.

Addition

Valley Living would like to

”

include the Sew Classics shop at Shenandoah Heritage Market in the list of stores of special interest to quilters in the fall issue article on quilting.

New sibling classes at RMH/Sentara

Parents can bring their children (ages 3-10) to a special class at RMH/Sentara. “Sibling class” helps a child learn ways she or he can help and adapt to a new sibling. Children and parents also have a tour to see where Mom will be staying when the baby is born. The next class will be December 6, 6:30-8 p.m. at Sentara RMH Medical Center, on Port Road in Harrisonburg. Preregister for parents and child, starting at $15 for one child. Payment must be made in advance. Contact 1-800-SENTARA.

Story time for small children

Massanutten Regional Library offers numerous story times for children at the central library in downtown Harrisonburg as follows: • Music with Mother Goose (ages 0-5) – Mondays at 9:30 a.m. and 10:15 a.m. • Blissful Bedtime Stories (ages 0-5) – Mondays at 7:00 p.m. • Momma Goose Rocks (ages 0-3) – Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 9:30 a.m. and 10:15 a.m. • Precious Preschoolers (ages 3-5) – Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 11:00 a.m. • Tremendous Toddlers (ages 2-3) – Thursdays at 11:00 a.m. There are also book clubs and programs for older children, teens and adults. See mrlib.org.

Word Search Notes

Responses from readers

Varied articles get top votes

Word search fans sent in 238 completed puzzles (see names listed on p. 34) and voted as follows for their favorite articles in the fall issue of Valley Living: “Grandma’s cemetery memories”–88; “Field trip: Fun learning at Showalter’s Orchard”–76; “A silent grief”–52; Quilting: Not just for grandma’s generation anymore” and “A refreshing experiment” tied at 47; “Very married: Keeping marriage vows,”–36. Readers can find archived articles at valleyliving.org/archives, and share them with others through email or Facebook.

Support Valley Living with a donation or gift subscription

Valley Living inspires hope, encourages faith and builds positive relationships in the home, workplace and community. With positive values reflecting our Christian base, we strive to convey ideas which can be broadly appreciated regardless of faith. See Living’s special end of the year appeal on page 23. Your gifts are tax deductible. Also, consider giving a one or two year gift subscription this Christmas, especially to friends or family living out of this area. See page 34 for a subscription form. Winter 2016 • living 5

Bridgewater family cultivates creative authors by MELODIE DAVIS

nce upon a time there was a personable 10-month-old lamb named Sweet Pea who became dangerously ill. She belonged to a talented farmer, John Churchman, who with his equally gifted wife Jennifer, eked out a living on a semi-self-sufficient 23-acre farmlet in Vermont. Farmer John also sold nature photography to glossy photographic magazines, calendars, and produced his own greeting card line, while Jennifer worked in public relations specializing in helping companies with branding. Further south in another area blessed with scenic mountain views, the Shenandoah Valley, there was a dairy farmer Dennis Trissel and his wife Beth; he sells farm implements on the side and once their children went to school, Beth began imagining, plotting, researching and publishing historical romance novels, sometimes with a ghost or two thrown in—the paranormal. She also developed a love for traveling through time—at least in her novels. Both John and Beth are offspring of Charles and Pat Churchman of Bridgewater, Va. Charles and Pat have two more children, Catherine and Chad, who both live in rural Rockingham and who have their own remarkable gifts and journeys/stories (perhaps to be told/published someday). But for now, here’s more on Sweet Pea’s “shepherd” John; the romance writer Beth; and the story of Sweet Pea’s rise to the New York best seller list (including a three-book deal with a major children’s publisher—changing their lives forever). Sweet Pea’s literary story is indeed the stuff of romance.

Sweet Pea started out life orphaned, and was fed by bottle. One day when Sweet Pea had developed a limp and fever, in the middle of the night Laddie the sheep dog made a commotion barking. Farmer John went out to the barn to investigate, knowing that sheep, if lame, can go down and die rather quickly. John called their favorite veterinarian, Allison Cornwall who came out immediately to check over Sweet Pea. To help her get better, the Churchman’s brought the Sweet Pea into their warmer greenhouse, along with another Prem, for company. All along, John shared updates on Sweet Pea’s status on his Facebook page, followed at that point by hundreds of fans who just enjoyed the back-to-nature ambiance of John’s frequent farm tales.

It is incredibly important for children to love reading from an early age. Literacy is such a key building block to succeeding in life. As Sweet Pea got better the Churchmans posted adorable and ingenious photos such as Sweet Pea with hay on her head for a new “hay-do.” The number of fans grew and urged: you need to celebrate Sweet Pea’s recovery. One wisecracked that you could have a “sheepover!” The Churchmans thought why not and decked out their animals in party hats and prepared celebratory but healthy treats and took fun photos of the barn party. Fans online continued the thread urging, “You’ve got to put this story and photos into a book.” John and Jennifer possessed the skills and chutzpah to take on the challenge. They used KickStarter to raise the cash to publish the book, creating artsy, full color mixed media pages with animal photos and a captivating storyline and produced their first book: “The SheepOver.” Thousands or maybe millions now self publish their own books so the question was would their little volume languish with just a couple hundred copies in sales or perhaps (Left) John Churchman captures photos of Sweet Pea’s “friends” at a photoshoot for the book which became the now bestselling “The SheepOver” children’s storybook. The photo includes Laddie, one of their border collies, lambs Speckles and Freckles, and bigger sheep, Sunny and Sweet Pea. PHOTO BY JENNIFER CHURCHMAN (Above) Sweet Pea as featured in “The SheepOver,” now published by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. PHOTO BY JOHN CHURCHMAN

6 living • Winter 2016

Websites/Facebook for John and Jennifer Churchman: Books and other products: sweetpeafriends.com Facebook: Sweet Pea & Friends Photography: brickhousestudios.com

Websites/Facebook for Beth Trissel Beth’s blog and books: bethtrissel.wordpress.com Beths’s author page on Amazon: amazon.com/Beth-Trissel/e/B002BLLAJ6 Facebook: Author Beth Trissel Historic Halifax: nchistoricsites.org/halifax/halifax.htm

thousands, without really taking off? After John approached The Flying Pig Bookstore in Shelburne, Vermont about handling the book and customers started picking up and buying it immediately, the owner, Elizabeth Bluemle wrote a blog post which landed the Churchmans an agent and a bidding war among several children’s book publishers. As Publisher’s Weekly put it, “They [the Churchmans] are not just sheep farmers who had this thrust on them,” said their eventual agent Brenda Bowen. “They are quite savvy about how to run a business and how to build a brand.” Before too many weeks, “The Sheepover” had rocketed up the New York Times bestseller list. The next in their three book series, “Brave Little Finn” just came out in October 2016, focusing on Little Finn’s first days. He had to be tube fed like an infant every four hours for about six weeks. From years of photographing animals, John snags shots at

the perfect moment, filled with almost-human emotion. They have also just completed a third book, “A Farm for Maise” about a border collie whose three puppies they decided to keep, to be published next year. Anyone can follow the adventures on their “picture farm” by following their website or Facebook page, “Sweet Pea and Friends.” But John was not a total newcomer to farm life. His parents had spent time teaching English in Taiwan when both Beth and John were small, sent by the Presbyterian Church (Pat’s parents were missionaries in the Philippines at the time). The family returned to the states for further education and moved to Bridgewater when John was in fifth grade, Beth in eighth. John says he loved spending time in the summers at his grandmother and uncle R.W. Moffett’s family dairy farm called “Chapel Hill” near Fishersville (his grandfather died early on, so John’s uncle and grandmother ran the farm). John recalled getting up and helping with the milking, haying and other farm jobs—“a very important formative time for me which got into my mind that maybe someday I would want to have a small farm.” He also loved fishing on Bridgewater’s river and playing pick up games of football, baseball, or whatever was being played on the athletic field behind Bridgewater College. Charles Churchman taught English literature at Bridgewater for many years and Pat also worked on campus in public relations. The Churchman children were exposed to reading from little up and were used to hearing their father spout favorite lines from poetry or Continued on page 8. (Left) Organizers for a 2014 “Romancing Colonial America” event in Halifax, N.C. with period re-enactors, artisans, and tours, also honored author Beth Trissel at a book signing for “Traitor’s Legacy” her historical romance set in Halifax. PHOTO PROVIDED (Above) Jennifer, Gabrielle, and John Churchman pause outside their barn near Essex, Vermont. John grew up during his adolescent years in the Shenandoah Valley. The dogs include from far left, Cyrano (tan and partially obscured) and Quinn, with Laddie and Maisie in foreground. PHOTO BY JOHN CHURCHMAN

Winter 2016 • living 7

Continued from page 7. literature even around the dinner table. John spent his first two years of high school at Turner Ashby where friends from the early 70s might remember him playing “Lil’ Abner” in a stage production. For his last two years of high school following a family tradition, he transferred to the same Episcopal high school in Alexandria, Va. which Charles went to. John emphasizes, “It is incredibly important for children to love reading from an early age. Literacy is such a key building block to succeeding in life.” So he and Jennifer strive to create storybooks which engage both children and the adults who read them. Beth Trissel, meanwhile, has been creating an average of a novel or novella or two a year since she began writing in earnest about 20 years ago. She writes historical romance, especially from the Colonial period of American history, and has branched into books classified as time travel, paranormal, young adult/new adult fantasy romance, (protagonists in the 18-30 age group), and a couple of smaller nonfiction books. Too many to list here, her author page on Amazon contains 23 titles, some in series. Beth often starts with just a kernel of an idea or plot and develops it, investigating widely to make it historically accurate. Along the way she discovers many true stories and legends that help develop plot turns. Beth formerly had a

New York City agent but discovered that New York-based publishers were not interested in any stories of the Colonial American era. As for writing about the Civil War years, Beth Trissel and her daughter Elise consult on Beth’s family some creative projects they worked on. PHOTO PROVIDED legacy from that period still feels “too recent and raw to write about,” says Beth. An enthusiastic fan in North Carolina once suggested that Beth center a novel around Halifax, (just over the border with Virginia) which gave birth to Beth’s novel “Traitor’s Legacy,” later a trilogy. Historic Halifax, which is a living history museum like a mini-Williamsburg, featured Beth at a book launch event during their “Romancing Colonial America” festival in 2014. She has collected many author awards which are listed on her Amazon author page. Her main publisher is The Wild Rose Press focusing

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on romance novels, but playing the publishing game with Amazon.com in the picture is a maze of keeping up with Amazon’s rules and roll out programs just to stay viable. Beth explains that at first authors were offered 70 percent royalties to have their books be published by Amazon, but it has dropped considerably over the years. Beth keeps a small steady income with her books by assisting in marketing them, strategizing when to offer sale Kindle copies for just 99 cents, buying ads on focused websites and blogs from all around the world. She also offers her own expertise in raising herbs and flowers for other romance writers (especially) on British herbal lore through online classes who pay to take her class. Someone suggested she make a book out of the information and photos she used in her class so now that’s a book too, “Plants for a Medieval Herb Garden in the British Isles.” She offers this book free to those who take the class. Beth is part of Kindle Unlimited, Amazon’s monthly reader program where for a monthly fee, readers can read Kindles for free from authors enrolled in Amazon’s Kindle Select program, (titles sold exclusively through Amazon). Amazon then pays authors a varying amount per pages read, but Kindle sales are down as readers join Kindle Unlimited. She calls the Amazon publishing world “overwhelming” because the company constantly comes up with new angles or changes programs for authors and customers. She said Amazon now publishes thousands of books a day which floods the market including reviewers who cannot keep up and review all that is out there. Reviews help spread all-important

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word-of-mouth advertising for an author. The literary influence and love of reading and art is also seen in Beth and Dennis’s daughter, Elise Trissel, a freelance photographer, graphic artist, also working to become a children’s book illustrator. She has collaborated with her mother on several titles in illustrations and artwork. While a senior art major at Bridgewater College, Elise’s senior art show used mixed media illustrations for a book called “Skritch, Scratch, Munch” using photos and painted imagery, which encircled an entire library floor. But she now prefers photography, illustrations and graphic art. The Trissels have long welcomed children from school groups and daycare/preschool classes on the two dairy farms they run with their family, the better to educate children on where some of their milk and food comes from. Despite many heartbreaks and hurdles along the way, the love and creativity that Charles and Pat Churchman nourished in their home is tangible as their adult children and grandchildren grow food, animals, photos and books for new generations. MELODIE DAVIS, editor of Valley Living, is the mother of three adult daughters, and lives with her husband near Harrisonburg, Va. She also blogs at www.FindingHarmonyBlog.com.

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Winter 2016 • living 9

An amazing little local museum by LAUREE PURCELL

he Heritage Museum, home of the HarrisonburgRockingham Historical Society, makes a fun starting point to explore Dayton, Virginia. After touring the 14,000 square-foot museum and store, built to look like a 19th-century Valley farmstead, families can also enjoy the nearby playground and picnic shelter, a historic walking tour of the town, Silver Lake Mill, Fort Harrison, village restaurants and shops, and the nearby Dayton Market. Museum Director Penny Imeson enjoys creating connections between the past and present. “Museums make us smarter and contribute to a vibrant local arts and culture scene. I love helping people recognize the importance of historic preservation in defining our culture,” she said. Penny uses her creativity to design many museum exhibits, newsletters and brochures that Executive Director Penny Imeson shows visitors examples of fraktur: decorative promote Historical Society activities. The Historical documents which commemorate births, baptisms, and significant moments in Society has been quite active since the 1960s, so the Pennsylvania-Dutch tradition. PHOTO BY ALLEN LITTEN collections are abundant. Those who sign the guest book at the museum offer great reviews. University intern to pull together a new exhibit of local stories Three permanent galleries illustrate the history of the from the home front during WWI and WWII. She is also Shenandoah Valley from pre-history to the present, and planning a holiday exhibit pulling from the museum’s large temporary galleries feature ever-changing exhibits on widely collection of Victorian dolls, toys and trains. Visitors will ranging subjects. In the Invincible Spirit gallery, visitors can discover how toys, education and the mindset of parenting has enjoy Native American artifacts gathered from a farm near changed (or not) over time. In addition to Lincoln logs, felt Cross Keys, walk through a scaled replica of a 19th-century boards and a weaving station, Penny will soon have activity potter’s kiln, and learn about the human side of the Civil War. packs ready to provide fun learning experiences for children The Shenandoah Valley Folk Art Collection carefully while they are walking through the exhibits. weaves a story that spans more than two centuries. It includes Visitors can enjoy a presentation about Stonewall Jackson’s textiles, ceramics, painted surfaces, wood and metals. The famous 1862 Valley Campaign during the Civil War. A traditional arts reflect the ethnic and religious backgrounds vertical 14-foot relief map of the Shenandoah Valley from of the original groups who settled here, primarily people of the Pennsylvania state line to Staunton uses more than 300 German and Scots-Irish descent. LED lights and sequences to indicate the movements of the Penny is currently working with a James Madison competing armies. Coordinated with photographs and pictures of military leaders and scenes, the accompanying narration helps viewers understand Jackson’s maneuvers during his famous Valley Campaign. The map is especially interesting because it was created for the Civil War Centennial in the 1960s and retains the original music and narration, which adds to its charm. The Harrisonburg-Rockingham Historical Society’s Genealogy Library offers a wide selection of research materials relating to Volunteers gathered around the new LOVE artwork at The Heritage Museum/Historic Rockingham and adjoining counties, including Dayton Welcome Center. LOVEworks across Virginia provide photo opportunities and family histories, church records and much promote tourism. This LOVE celebrates our local agricultural heritage and natural more. A searchable database of more than 3,500 beauty. Executive Director Penny Imeson is wearing the sunhat. PHOTO BY ALLEN LITTEN 10 living • Winter 2016

photographs and 3,000 slides provides yet another tool for visitors. Administrator Margaret Hotchner and experienced volunteers are available to assist visitors or prepare paid research. The largest “artifact” of the museum is a restored 1840s historic home featuring late 19th and early 20th-century furnishings. Architectural features of this Cromer-Trumbo House show a German influence. Through the generosity of Mary Spitzer-Etter, visitors to the house can see her collection of Victorian and early 20th-century household items, toys and decorative arts. Since this house is only open to the public during special summer hours, some of its collection is rotated through the main museum for more frequent viewing. Penny is helping the museum reach out to the surrounding community in many ways. The Historical Society partnered with WVPT to film some “Valley Pioneers” in the spring and is a full partner with JMU’s Institute for Visual Studies for the creation of the “Picturing Harrisonburg” exhibition and companion book. In addition, she is part of the Thomas Harrison House restoration committee. “All of these efforts help us to expand awareness, share resources and build programs for education and preservation of local history,” said Penny.

Museums make us smarter and contribute to a vibrant local arts and culture scene.

Life Verse/Motto contest winner! Winning entries in the final 25th anniversary year-long celebration contest were announced at the Valley Living reception Oct. 18 at Eagle Carpet in Harrisonburg.

The first place winning entry in the “Life Verse or Motto You Live By” contest came from Joyce Horst of Singers Glen, Va. She submitted a quote by Martin Luther King Jr. which she finds to be a fitting motto for her life as a farm wife and mother: “If a man [or woman]is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.’” Horst won a painting with the motto “Apples of gold in pitchers of silver” by Dr. Bob Beasley, a dentist and oral surgeon in the Valley for many years.

This past June, the museum partnered with Fort Harrison and the Silver Lake Mill for a special Dayton Historic Triangle History Day, and they are planning to have a similar event in 2017 – including a scavenger hunt with prize tokens for children. When homeschooler co-op groups schedule field trips, the museum provides an interpreter/educator. Penny also has ideas to involve boy and girl scouts. The Historic Triangle has contacted the library about being part of the summer reading program, too. About once each month, authors, historians, collectors and enthusiasts come to The Heritage Museum for speaking engagements. Scheduled events are posted at valleyheritagemuseum.org. With 2.6 full time equivalent staff people and about 70 dedicated volunteers, a lot is being accomplished at the museum. Penny says she always welcomes additional volunteers. Creating a booklet from Railroad Exhibit information, submitting memories of childhood (or grandchildren’s) toys, and greeting visitors at the front desk are just a few of many volunteer opportunities. Admission to the museum is $8 per adult and an annual family membership for unlimited entry costs $40. The Historical Society’s quarterly newsletter, available at the website, gives readers a good idea of the many activities members enjoy. LAUREE STROUD PURCELL serves as an editorial consultant for Living. She and her husband Steve have two daughters. Winter 2016 • living 11

Money Matters

Guidance on family finances

Get a hobby by KAREN GONYER An active and healthy retired pastor in his late 70s recently told us how he stays positive, energized and encouraging to others while some of his peers seem to have become bitter and discouraged. His answer wasn’t super-spiritual; instead it was extremely practical: you need to get a hobby. For him, woodworking has become a way to stay busy, exercise his creativity and maintain his optimism. While he does make a little money selling the tables, canes, cutting boards and other wooden projects, it seems like the rewards are much more than financial. Ken and I are not retired yet, but we do have hobbies. I love to sew. This includes quilts, clothes, curtains—anything that involves fabric and thread. It brings me a lot of joy just to feel the fabric run through my hands. I love to look at all the beautiful colors in a fabric store. Although sewing could become an expensive hobby for some, I get excited when I get a box of “scraps” from a friend or buy one at an auction or thrift store and begin dreaming of what could be created. While some items could probably be sold for a profit, I love to make gifts for family or for charity. Sewing is its own reward. I could be cooped up in my sewing room all day and not tire of creating and sewing. I could easily lose track of time. Ken, on the other hand, loves to hike. He has a nice collection of maps and has hiked numerous local trails, both 12 living • Winter 2016

But as soon as I started working on the project, my shoulders went from hunched to relaxed. My mind stopped whirling around with the details of the day. those known and not so known. He can tell you which hikes are short, steep, long or evolve into a loop. He’s backpacked a short portion of the Appalachian Trail and dreams of doing more. While some people invest a lot of money in hiking equipment, Ken’s gear is simple. For him, the goal is simply to experience the peace and quiet of the woods and the wonder of God’s creation. He is revived by breathing in the fresh air, identifying trees and looking for wildlife. Sometimes his hikes are solitary and sometimes he shares the walk with others. Every year, our family purchases an annual pass for Shenandoah National Park so we can get into the mountains and onto the trails whenever the mood strikes. Hobbies transform us. The other night, after a particularly busy day, I sat down to finish creating a costume for my 2-year-old friend Logan. It was a minor sewing project and took just a few minutes. But as soon as I started working on the project, I began to notice a difference in myself. My shoulders went from hunched to relaxed. My mind stopped

whirling around with the details of the day and settled down to the project at hand and thoughts of how cute Logan would look in the costume. I felt like, in spite of the frustration and demands of the day, everything was going to be okay. I believe we need to make a point of including these activities in our lives on a regular basis. It’s not enough to pursue hobbies and pastimes only when we happen to have some time left over. Planning these pursuits in our schedule is one way to take a more holistic approach to life—to live more fully. Hobbies not only refresh us emotionally; I believe they may also make us smarter. Hobbies activate both sides of our brain. Neurologists tell us the left side is the logic-center that handles facts, figures and spoken or written language. The right side of the brain is our more creative side that allows us to appreciate art and music, use our imagination and get creative. If I spend all day using only one side of my brain to keep track of work details, lists, facts and numbers, I’m bound to become “lopsided.” I need hobbies to bring balance to my life. Do you have a hobby or activity you simply love? What is the thing you look forward to doing on the weekend or when you get home from work? What is the thing you could do all day long and not tire? Is it gardening? Sewing? Hiking? Reading? In this season of giving, this is my encouragement: invest in activities that nourish you and your family’s creativity. Give gifts that encourage the receiver to get off the computer or phone and do something with their hands. Give On Route 42 South of Harrisonburg Open Thurs-Sat 9-6

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your children the gift of a hobby, not necessarily one more lesson, but a leisurely pursuit they can enjoy for hours on end. Take them to the hobby store to get some ideas. One year, our daughter was into duct tape. She made a huge collection of wallets, “cell phones” and other wearables. Consider gifting an experience instead of a tangible gift. Most of all, give yourself the gift of time well spent in something that will rejuvenate you. KEN AND KAREN GONYER live in Broadway, VA. Ken is the CEO of Choice Books, headquartered in Harrisonburg. Karen is a real estate agent with Kline May Realty in Harrisonburg. Email questions to ken.gonyer@gmail.com.

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Family Forum

Strengthening family relationships

Travel weary couple seeks refuge by HARVEY YODER

©ADOBE STOCK

his Christmas story begins with an arduous journey my parents took 91 years ago. My father Ben and mother Mary had been married less than four months when they made a 200-mile move in a horse drawn wagon from my father’s home area in Oklahoma to the rural community of my mother’s birth in Kansas. Even back then most people would have chosen to make that kind of move by rail or truck. But my dad had just acquired a young team of work horses, and was able to persuade my mom to accompany him in a covered farm wagon for what turned out to be the adventure of a lifetime. Their departure date was the first day of winter, December 21, 1925. Against the advice of some of their elders, my

parents, young and a little foolish, decided to risk the possibility of bad weather. They figured they could get to their destination in less than a week, and planned to sleep in their wagon each night en route. All went well until near the end of their trek, on the day after Christmas, when it became extremely cold. Unknown to them the temperature had dropped to 10 degrees below on that Sunday morning as they headed north into a stiff prairie wind. My father closed the front of the wagon to keep it warmer for his young bride, and he got out and walked with the team

Upon arriving in Bethlehem the refugee couple face chilling rejection and No Vacancy signs instead of finding rest and welcome in their time of need. to keep them moving against the bitter wind and to try to stay warm. My mother’s feet and my Dad’s ears and fingers became frostbitten before they finally reached the farm house of relatives where they stayed for the night. This story about Ben and Mary reminds me of some of the reality of the first Christmas. In the account in Luke’s gospel, another young couple, Joseph and Mary, embark on a journey of also about a week’s length, in less extreme weather but without benefit of a team and wagon. Scenes depicting their journey portray Mary as a young woman with a halo, serene, pregnant and riding a donkey. Her clothes are immaculately clean, in spite of days of grueling travel on dusty roads. In reality, the virgin mother may have been a young and exhausted teenager, forced to take an unwanted journey in her ninth month and perhaps traveling on foot. And upon arriving in Bethlehem the refugee couple face chilling rejection and No Vacancy signs instead of finding rest and welcome in their time of need. As if this weren’t bad enough, the couple is then later forced to undertake another journey, an even longer one, to

14 living • Winter 2016

escape King Herod’s “slaughter of the innocents” and to find temporary safe haven in Egypt. Thus Christmas is a story about homeless and travel-weary asylum seekers. It is about a God who seeks refuge and welcome in an inhospitable world. And it reminds us that in caring for the migrant, the stranger, the undocumented foreigner, we are actually providing hospitality to Jesus himself, in the spirit of the Leviticus text which says, “You shall treat the strangers who sojourn with you as the natives among you, and you shall love them as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.” HARVEY YODER is a family counselor and teaches parenting and marriage classes at the Family Life Resource Center. Questions relating to family concerns can be addressed to FLRC, 273 Newman Ave., Harrisonburg, VA 22801 or to Harvey@flrc.org. His blog can be followed at harvyoder.blogspot.com.

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Parenting resolutions for the not-soperfect parent by GAYLA GRACE

onsidering the innumerable parenting books I’ve read and parenting workshops I’ve attended, I should be a perfect parent. I’m not. However, I’ve been a parent long enough to realize if I keep pressing forward, do the best job I can and have a loving and sincere heart, my kids won’t be eternally scarred by my imperfections. This year, I did not make resolutions about being a better parent. Instead, I made a few resolutions about how to move past my imperfections and keep going on days when I’m a not-so-perfect parent. So, I committed to: 1. Let go of Mommy guilt. We all experience it from time to time. We do too much for our kids one day and the next day we do too little. One day we give them too much slack and the next day we nag them incessantly. Our parenting choices never seem right. But maybe it’s our thinking that isn’t right. Mommy guilt comes from the expectation that we need to be perfect, and a perfect mom doesn’t exist. Let go of unrealistic expectations that keep us bound to guilt when we don’t measure up. 2. Forgive myself when I fail. A defeated parent doesn’t parent effectively. When we barrage ourselves with criticism over a poor parenting choice, we continue down a negative path. Forgiving ourselves for less-than-stellar parenting moments allows us to begin again with a renewed mind and fresh perspective for our parenting challenges. 3. Seek out support from other moms on hard days. My neighbor is a single parent with two school-aged children. She recognizes she needs help juggling her responsibilities and seeks out other moms to assist with car pool or after-school care when her work schedule becomes overwhelming. Fellow moms understand busy moms’ struggles and are usually happy to help when asked.

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16 living • Winter 2016

Raising a child is hard, but rewarding, work. Taking some time to destress and accepting your imperfections can help you become the best parent you can be.

4. Listen to my heart on how to parent my child, instead of others’ opinions. It’s easy to run to the phone and ask our best friend what to do when we’re facing a difficult parenting moment. But if we step back, consider our options and listen to our hearts, we make better decisions. We know our child’s personality better than anyone. And when we consider it as part of the parenting equation, we can tailor our parenting to best fit our child’s needs. 5. Take time to run, or quilt, or whatever activity works for me to re-group when the parenting strain takes over. It’s important to re-group and make time for self-care when we’re about to go off a parenting cliff. Balancing parenting demands with activities we can look forward to, creates a well-rounded parent who can more effectively handle the strains of parenting. 6. Remember my kids love me, even on days I’m a notso-perfect parent. Our kids don’t expect us to be perfect parents. If they know we are doing our best to care for them, emotionally and physically, they love us on both our good days and our not so good days. When a young child was asked what he thought about his mom’s significant weight loss, he replied, “I don’t see her any different—I love her either way ‘cause she’s my mom.”

Let go of unrealistic expectations that keep us bound to guilt when we don’t measure up. As you start a new year, do you have resolutions to consider as a not-so-perfect parent? Do you need a mindset do-over that includes room for imperfection and second chances as a parent? Perhaps that’s the ticket to success this year on your not-so-perfect parenting journey. As a freelance journalist, GAYLA GRACE loves sharing experiences to encourage other parents. She is thankful for her five children, who love her despite her not-so-perfect parenting.

Cooking Corner

Recipes and tips for cooking at home

A hot and easy meal for a cold winter night! Make the chicken ahead to cut down on time, or substitute leftover turkey from Thanksgiving. Use a Dutch Oven, if you have one, to turn this casserole into a one-pot meal for easy cooking and clean-up! This recipe serves six.

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Chicken and Rice Casserole Ingredients: 1/2 stick butter 1 small onion, chopped 1 large stem of celery, chopped 1 carrot, peeled and chopped 1/2 green pepper, chopped 1 cup uncooked rice 3 cups chicken broth 2 chicken boneless breasts salt and pepper, to taste Directions: 1. Boil chicken until cooked, at least 30 minutes. Let cool and cut up into bite size pieces. Set aside. 2. Melt butter in a skillet. Add chopped veggies and rice. Saute for 5 minutes. 3. Add chicken broth, salt and pepper. 4. Place in a large baking dish and spread the cooked chicken on the top. Cover and bake at 350 for 1 hour.

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So, of course, I flew. I wasn’t so old I couldn’t remember long days with small children and babies and thinking I would never again be able to rest or run or play. The flight went well, even though I gripped the arms of my by NANCY HOAG seat for the three hours it took me to get to the town where my daughter now lived. The driver was there to meet me and or months my daughter, Lisa, had been looking forward the ride from the terminal to my daughter’s couldn’t have to getting away to a place where the sun would be gone more smoothly. Everything was good, and I told myself inviting and warm, meals everything would stay good. would be cooked by someone Until Sunday morning when else, and she could delight in the my oldest granddaughter was brief respite she’d been needing still with friends at a sleepover. ever since the birth of her second My youngest granddaughter child. wasn’t yet in school, but she was In addition, a recent relocation articulate and iron-willed. So, she had moved her not just across announced she would NOT be town but from one side of the going to church. country to the other. The stress “Oh?” I said. “But I thought—” of the move and unanticipated “Nope. Not going,” she added, remodeling problems had taken hands on her hips and her pretty their toll. For her husband, chin set like her mom’s. this week would be filled with “Well, then,” I said. “That’s meetings, but Lisa would be okay. I’ll just go alone.” leisurely walking a white beach Her green eyes wide, she and taking pleasure in the sounds cocked her blonde head as if of the ocean’s singing. She would to say she couldn’t have heard read the novels she’d wanted to correctly. “Alone? Mom-Mom, WE DELIVER! 540-217-5793 or 540-801-TOGO read for months and sleep later you can’t …” leave me alone, she ORDER ONLINE! www.DavesTaverna.com 810 Port Republic Rd., Harrisonburg, VA than she had for a very long time. refused to say. “Yup,” I said. “I Except, don’t mind at all, and you’ll be look Sam Same g great taste. the person who was look, merican Restaurant supposed to take care of her girls fine.” I wouldn’t laugh or even A grandparent may need all their wisdom and creativity when with Greek Specialities couldn’t make it and Lisa could I would just move toward it comes to wanting to spend time with a grandchild who’s WE DELIVER! 540-217-5793grin. or 540-801-TOGO being stubborn. think of no one else to call. closet, don the outfit I’d already ORDER ONLINE!the www.DavesTaverna.com 810 Port Republic Rd.,my Harrisonburg, “There is only you, Mom,” she selected, touch-up hair and VA New New look, Same great taste. Ne ew owner, New look SamNew g look, wept. “Otherwise, if you can’t fly makeup— owner, merican Restaurant Same great taste. Aone out, I won’t be going.” She said she could see to it that I had a “I mean it, Mom-Mom,” I heard from ofGreek the Specialities sweetest with Buy 1 Entree & DELIVER! 540-217-5793 or 540-801-TO paid-for flight, and she’d even arrange for someoneGet reliable to voices in our family. “I’m NOT WE going!” t 1 Entree 1/2 OFF ONLINE! of equal or lesser value. 3 or 540-801-TOGO pick me up and drive me to the house. “I know,” I said, casually shrugging andORDER retrieving my www.DavesT 810 Port Repub One coupon per customer. Not valid with any other offer. O ©ADOBE STOCK

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Bible. “And you don’t have to go. I just don’t want to miss church, but if that’s not your thing …” I didn’t turn around, but behind me I could hear little, yet resolute, footsteps leaving the room—and then I heard my granddaughter’s door slam. I smiled. Because while this child was strong-willed, I felt certain she wouldn’t be choosing to stay home alone. Within minutes, I heard the same single-minded footsteps on their way back to my room. As I stepped away from my daughter’s closet, I discovered my stubborn granddaughter had dressed in one of her best outfits and donned her prettiest shoes.

My youngest granddaughter wasn’t yet in school, but she was articulate and iron-willed. So, she announced that she would NOT be going to church. Her chin again in the air, she looked me straight in the eye. “Well … I decided,” she was saying. She paused to make it clear this was her decision and not mine. “I decided that IF we’re going, you might as well fix my hair.” She’d handed me the barrettes she had chosen and again checked out the multiple bracelets she had selected. Then, as I took her hand and headed for the car, she tipped her face up one more time to look directly at mine and said, “BUT … they’d better have donuts.” Smiling, I squeezed my granddaughter’s hand and nodded my agreement. “They’d better have donuts,” I said, grateful for a grandchild with an iron will, but also grateful that I hadn’t caved or resorted to the “tactics” I used to employ with her mother. Those mainly consisted of “I mean it! I’m the parent! So you are going—or else!” It is amazing the grace we find we can offer when we have a few gray hairs and more than a few years under our belts. NANCY HOAG is a freelance writer from Montana.

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Ross Foster by LAUREE S. PURCELL Bridgewater native Ross Foster became a math teacher at Harrisonburg High School (HHS) almost two years ago at age 23 while finishing up his Master of Arts in Teaching at James Madison University (JMU). He had intended to teach middle school mathematics because he felt so comfortable with that age group. But now he enjoys teaching algebra to mostly high school freshmen. “My students are impressionable and still have an innocence as they are trying to figure out who they are and who they want to become,” said Ross. Leading the Young Life program (a non-denominational Christian ministry) at North Fork Middle School in Shenandoah County showed Ross his gift for helping young teens see past their outer experiences to the potential they have to produce great work. He especially likes teaching at HHS because “this place retains a special type of teacher willing to do things for students not required of them.” To Ross, the math department is like a big family. “We discuss how to teach math, and there are lots of different approaches,” he says, “The combination of the new people and the veterans creates a powerful think tank. Somebody is always smiling and asking how it’s going. It’s a caring place.” Ross’ advice to young adults is to surround yourself with people who encourage you and ask for help from those who know better than you do. Find something you enjoy and try to make a career out of it. Ross’ main mentor last year during his first full year of teaching was fellow math teacher Mary Bailey. “She explained to me how to teach sections and provided all sorts of leadership as I was gaining experience,” he said. Ross injects fun into as many things as he can while he’s teaching. He laughs with his kids and enjoys their quirky ups and downs. He tries to be just as on his game in the last hour of the day as in the first, and knows how to control how he reacts no matter how a student may choose to behave. Ross chooses a positive attitude, and that affects how his students respond to him. Writer LAUREE PURCELL is currently relearning algebra as she assists Ross with his fast-paced one-semester Algebra 1 class.

Know someone 30 or under to nominate for a future Shenandoah Spotlight? Requirements are: Valley resident or grew up here, outstanding for their job, community, or church work, and the model they provide. Contact us at info@ valleyliving.org. Winter 2016 • living 19

When your fiancé is deployed by ALEXANDRA A. DACZKOWSKI

without constant reassurance. Despite its many challenges and hardships, Kevin’s deployment helped me make the most of my college career. Our forced separation taught me the importance of independence and strength. My sophomore year, while Kevin was deployed, I got very involved on campus. I went from being just a college student attending classes and hanging out with friends to becoming a member of TEACH Ambassadors, ROTE, and JMU Club Gymnastics. I took 18 credit hours each semester, became a Big Sister in Big Brothers Big Sisters and stepped out of my comfort zone to become a Group Fitness Instructor. When Kevin and I finally had a chance to communicate, I enjoyed telling him about my many activities and the leadership roles I had taken on. I sent Kevin a package every month for the eight months he was deployed. Putting the packages together and mailing them always got me excited because I knew we were one month closer to being together again. During that first deployment, Kevin and I were apart for my birthday, Thanksgiving, his birthday, Christmas, New Years and Valentine’s Day. I thought that was quite enough time without him, but the Marines had more plans for him.

y husband, Kevin Hayes, and I dated for over five years. We began dating our senior year of high school, and that October he informed me he wanted to enlist in the Marine Corps. Until I was 7, my father was in the Army, so I knew what the military was like. But with Kevin enlisting, I felt differently than when I was an Army brat. I remember the day he left for boot camp in 2011 very well. It was emotional for us both. He was leaving for his new adventure, and I would be leaving to attend James Madison University. Boot camp meant each experiencing exciting things in our own lives without being able to tell each other. We could only communicate through letters, which came inconsistently.

I still wrote him a letter almost every single day of boot camp, and he wrote when he could. I was proud when I saw him graduate from boot camp as an official United States Marine. After completing additional training in the months that followed, Kevin was stationed in California in 2012. This move created another curveball for our relationship. We took advantage of all the communication opportunities our generation of technology provides: texting, calling, Facetime, Skype, etc. We learned how important communication was to making a long distance relationship work. In September of that year, Kevin was deployed for the first time. I thought boot camp and California were hard ... well, let’s add deployment to the list. At least during boot camp, everything was new and exciting for me at JMU. The time flew by, and I had so many stories and exciting things to tell Kevin when we were together again. When he was in California, I was able to talk to him often, and we could hear about each other’s lives. Deployment was a different story. I heard from Kevin about once every other week through Facebook messages or email. He was able to call me on the phone about once every other month and on holidays. We were able to see each other over Skype a total of four times during his eight-month deployment. Two of those times were during the last week he was there. While he was deployed, I had to continue my life here at college despite not knowing where he was or what he was doing. As a 19-year-old in college, I had to accept that and still live my life. Since there is only so much of someone’s emotions you can understand through a Facebook message, we had to trust the emotions and feelings we had for each other 20 living • Winter 2016

PHOTO PROVIDED

I thought boot camp and California were hard ... well, let’s add deployment to the list.

Kevin Hayes and Alexandria “Allie” Daczkowski pose at their wedding earlier this year.

In May 2014, Kevin left for his second deployment the same day I left to study abroad in Rome. It was much easier for us this time because we were able to talk much more. We laughed about our previous struggles and, although we couldn’t visit each other, we were happy to know we were geographically closer. There were still challenging times when we could not talk, but we were stronger from the first deployment. We were able to get through his second deployment like a breeze, in comparison to the first one. Kevin got out of the Marine Corps on March 1, 2015, right before I graduated with my bachelor’s degree in May. We faced many challenges and obstacles during those four years he was gone serving our country. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I had the best college experience I could have dreamed of - being involved, taking on new challenges,

studying abroad and more. While I didn’t do all of it with him physically by my side, his emotional support helped me tremendously. Our relationship is founded upon support and communication because that is all we had during my entire undergraduate career at JMU. Kevin and I got married on June 4, 2016, in Harrisonburg, Va. He is currently going to school on the GI Bill, and this fall, I began teaching middle school students. I’m thankful Kevin was here during my graduate year, and my hero is home safely.

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The real Nativity scene PHOTO COURTESY WEAVERS MENNONITE CHURCH

by CAROLE CHRISTMAN KOCH

ver two thousand years ago, there was a bright star above a little hilltop village called Bethlehem, in modern day Israel. That bright star in the east points directly to a stable attached to an inn, which is apparently closed for the night. Inside the stable, a young man and woman watch over a newborn baby wrapped in swaddling clothes. The woman has just placed her infant son in the rock-hewn manger, low on the earthen floor. Since the straw-filled manger was the feeding trough of some animals in the stable, perhaps standing nearby are some sheep, a donkey, even an ox. The parents are Mary and Joseph. The child is Jesus. And this is the real nativity scene. The nativity scene has been venerated since the first century of the Christian era in a Bethlehem church, called the Basilica of the Nativity. Tradition tells us this church is the actual site of Christ’s birth, even though the simplicity of the original inn and manger has long been lost.

Perhaps, this Christmas season, when you display the nativity scene in your home, you, like Francis of Assisi, will remember the real nativity scene of more than two thousand years ago. Eventually, this devotion to the child in the manger grew into performances in drama, opera and ballet. By medieval times, devotion had grown into such misuse that the pope abolished all forms of such celebration and commemoration. The survival of this worldwide custom of setting up nativity scenes during the Christmas season is credited to St. Francis of Assisi of Greccio, Italy in 1223. Francis arranged for a stable to be built and equipped with representations of the holy family. His intention was “to enact the memory of the infant who was born at Bethlehem and how he was deprived of all the comforts babies enjoy; how he was bedded in the manger on hay between an ass and an ox …” Following tradition, Francis of Assisi also brought live animals to the scene. This custom originated in the Old Testament that applies to the birth of Christ: Isaiah, the

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22 living • Winter 2016

Many churches and communities create a nativity scene around Christmas. But where did the tradition of reenacting the nativity come from?

prophet, mentions “The ox knoweth his owner, and the ass his master’s crib, referring to the coming birth of Christ;” Habakkuk states, also looking to the future, “In the midst of two animals thou shalt be known.” Eventually these nativity scenes were set up in the churches. Later craftspeople constructed miniature scenes for their homes. The custom, from elaborate to simple arrangements, spread throughout the world. And, of course, names of these nativity scenes differed in each country: Italians call the scene presepio, from the Latin form of the Greek word for “manger;” in most South American countries it is nacimiento; in Czechoslovakia it is jeslicky or Bethlehem; Costa Ricans know it as portal; in Brazil we have pesebre; the German word for crib is krippe; in France it would be crèche. As in the medieval years, the nativity scenes were again abolished by reformers in the 1500s, but some German sects kept up this custom and brought it to America. We find it in Bethlehem, Pa., where the Moravians in 1741 set up the scene on Christmas Eve. It is called putz, from the German putzen, which means “to decorate.” The huge landscaped scene varies each year, usually combining village and countryside; the focus is always on the story of the Nativity. Perhaps, this Christmas season, when you display the nativity scene in your home, you, like Francis of Assisi, will remember the real nativity scene of more than two thousand years ago. “Away in a manger, no crib for his bed …” –A Christmas carol CAROLE CHRISTMAN KOCH is a freelance writer from Pennsylvania.

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©ADOBE STOCK

Homemade Christmas cards may not be as pretty as store bought ones, but kids will love making them and people will enjoy receiving a card with a personal touch.

Get kids involved sending Christmas messages “I by JESSE NEVE

can’t wait for January!” barks a crazed mom as she wheels her screaming kid and cartful of purchases off through the snow-covered parking lot two weeks before Christmas. I didn’t want to be that woman. We often hear of how stressful the Christmas season is but Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year. So, from the very beginning, I wanted to include our kids in the festivities so they could always remember Christmas as a family time, including making our own greeting cards. If you’re thinking, who even sends Christmas cards anymore, it doesn’t have to be a card as such. Writing a Christmas message which could be sent as a group email or on Facebook or in a blogpost—or even just texting a photo with a Christmas message, are all options to get in the spirit of the Christmas tradition of remembering friends and family with a greeting at Christmas.

They were never perfect. But, they are always filled with love. But for as long as our kids can remember, we have been making our own homemade Christmas cards. When they were younger, we would start with a stack of blank cards and I gave them a general idea as to what the cards could look like. Then they would run with it—paints, stampers, sparkles. We decked the cards out. They were beautiful, one-of-a-kind masterpieces. Then, for the inside, I had the kids dictate to me, word for word, how the greeting should read. I typed and printed the words, and we cut them out and pasted them to the inside of the cards. They were never perfect. But, they are always 24 living • Winter 2016

filled with love. We all worked on stuffing the envelopes and sticking stamps. We begin each year in July (when everyone is home and looking for a project) and we pull them out and work on them periodically until December when they’re finished (with no rushing and no stress). It takes a lot of time and effort to do our Christmas cards, but in the end, I think the message really hits home: we work on it as a family and it spreads Christmas cheer to the people we know and love Below are some examples of our homemade messages over the years: ★ One year, instead of a traditional greeting, I had the kids (ages 1, 3, 5, and 7) tell the Christmas story in their own words and grammar. The Christmas Story by The Neve Children

SARAH: So, an angel named Gabriel came to Mary and said, JONATHAN: “You’re gonna have a baby!” SARAH: Yeah. “And name it Jesus.” JONATHAN: That is true. SARAH: Mary was very surprised and she believed in God. Mary loved Joseph and they got married. JONATHAN: When Jesus was going to get born, they tried to find a house to live in and everyone said, “No,” but finally someone said they could. And finally Jesus got born. His mom holded him and when he wanted to lay down, he layed down on the hay. SARAH: It was a stable—a place where horses and goats and farm animals live. DANIEL: Cows too. JONATHAN: And bulls. DANIEL: Yeah, bulls.

PHOTO PROVIDED

Start homemade Christmas cards in the fall to avoid mess and stress during the holiday season.

Tis the season … to be fat. God rest ye Merry Gentlemen let nothing you … foresee. Have a holly jolly … cupcake. I saw Mommy … washing the clothes. Jingle Bell time, it’s a swell time to go riding in … a bucket. Silent night, holy … dawn. _______

★ Another year we listed the things we were thankful for and gave our blessings:

JONATHAN: And pigs. DANIEL: And hens. JONATHAN: There were three wise men too. SARAH: Wait! Shepherds came and held the baby. JONATHAN: The Dude Babe. SARAH: Yeah. The Dude Babe. And Mary always remembered that special time. DANIEL: There were three wise men, too. SARAH: Who came from the east. JONATHAN: I don’t know what the east is. SARAH: Like north, south, east and west. Like (to the tune of “Three Blind Mice”): Three wise men. Three wise men. Came from the east. Came from the east.” JONATHAN: No, I think they came from the west with the gifts of gold. SARAH: Sparkling and sweet smelling gifts. JONATHAN: Yeah. Gold and sweet smelling stuff that I don’t know what it’s called. SARAH: They wrapped them up and gave them to Jesus. JONATHAN: They came and gave gifts for the baby Jesus Christ. SARAH: No, it wasn’t “Christ” yet. Just “Jesus.” JONATHAN: Jesus was God’s son. God’s little boy. DANIEL: I like the shepherds who holded the Baby Dude. JONATHAN: So, Peace be with you. SARAH: And also with you. DANIEL: Peace—I miss you. Amen. Baby Benjamin sat nearby listening and approves of this story. _______

★ One year I gave them the first part of some Christmas

carols and had them fill in the blank with what they could remember.Twelve drummers drumming, eleven… crumblers crumbling. All is calm, all is … well. Said the night wind to the … little elf. I am old Kris Kringle, I’m the king of … toys. Don’t you tell a single soul, what I’m going to … do. Sleigh bells ring, are you … awake? Have yourself a … Christmas, you! It came upon … a midnight train. Here comes Santa Claus right down … Drury Lane. But do you recall, the most famous … snowman … of all? Silver Bells, silver bells. It’s Christmas time in the … Netherlands. Field and fountain, moor and … snow. Good King Wenceslas looked out his window … and saw his kingdom and a shining star. Where the tree top glistens and children … shout. Jack Frost nipping at your … cheeks.

Things We Are Thankful For by The Neve Children SARAH (9): I’m thankful for my family, my friends, my brothers, our food and that we have the things we need. I’m thankful that we can go places on vacation, that I can draw things like animals, that I’m flexible—REALLY flexible and that I can walk. I’m thankful that I have healthy legs and arms. JONATHAN (7): I’m thankful for my Mom and Dad, our cousins, Grandma and Grandpa Neve, Grama and Grampa Swanson and everyone in our family—except Sarah . . . just kidding. I’m thankful for our nice parents. I’m thankful for everything we have and that we have nice cousins, moms, dads, grandpas, grandmas, uncles, aunts, Godmothers and Godfathers because they are all very nice and I have a good time with them. DANIEL (5): I am thankful for Rainbow (my lizard), my General Grievous ship and my guys, Mom, Jon, Ben, Sarah, Myself, my new lizard, my little skeleton, Dad, Papa, Jesus and God. Well, Jesus and God are hooked together so they are big. They are SO big. BENJAMIN (3): Basketball, football, playing with Dad, playing with Daniel and Jon, playing with Sarah, taking a shower, going to sleep, leaves and trees, toes (we all have toes) and flashlights. Flashlights are so nice. _______

★ Our blessings for you:

Have a good year and I hope you have a good time with your family and friends and people. –Sarah Jeanne Neve I hope you have a good next year or every year because you are very nice and I hope you have a better year than this one. Well, I hope this year was good, too, but I hope you have a good next year also. –Jonathan David Neve Love. I Love You. –Daniel Joseph Neve Hope you have a bathtub and a basketball. –Benjamin Mark Neve

JESSE NEVE is a freelance writer from Minnesota.

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Winter 2016 • living 25

Mom’s Christmas no-knead coffee cakes by AUDREY CARLI

Like many moms in a past generation, my mother baked bread once or twice a week—and kneaded the dough. Today, many families choose to make no-knead coffee cake and bread recipes. Some of my mother’s favorite no-knead recipes follow.

No-Knead Swedish Tea Ring 1. Combine: ½ cup scalded milk 3 tablespoons shortening 2 tablespoons sugar 1-½ teaspoons salt 2. Cool to lukewarm by adding ½ cup water (the water used to dissolve dry yeast should be subtracted from water in recipe) 3. Add 1 package dry granular yeast dissolved as directed on package. Mix well. 4. Blend in 1 egg 5. Add gradually 3 cups sifted flour. Mix until well blended. Cover and let stand for 15 minutes. 6. Simmer until thickened: 1 cup cooked prunes, chopped ¼ teaspoon cinnamon 1 tablespoon lemon juice ¼ cup sugar 1/8 teaspoon salt

7. Roll dough to 14x12-inch rectangle. Spread with cooled prune mixture. 8. Roll as for jelly roll. Place on greased baking sheet and join ends together to form ring. 9. Cut deep slits almost to center of ring with scissors. Cut about 1 inch apart. Turn each piece on its side, cut edge up. 10. Let rise in warm place (85 to 90 degrees F) until double in bulk, about 45 minutes. 11. Bake in moderate oven 350 degrees F. 30 minutes. 12. Combine:4 teaspoons warm milk 1 cup sifted confectioners’ sugar ¼ teaspoon vanilla 13. Frost warm ring. Yield: 1 tea ring _______

No-Knead Caramel Coffee Cake 1. Combine: ½ cup scalded milk 2 tablespoons shortening 2 tablespoons sugar 1 teaspoon salt 2. Cool to lukewarm by adding ¼ cup water (the water used to dissolve dry yeast should be subtracted from water in recipe). 3. Add 1 package dry granular yeast dissolved as directed on package. Mix well. 4. Blend in 1 egg 5. Add gradually 2 cups sifted flour. Mix until well blended. Cover and let stand for 15 minutes. 6. Spread in well-greased 10-inch skillet or 9x9x2-inch pan. 7. Prick top of dough with fork and brush with 1-1/2 tablespoons melted butter. 8. Combine: 1/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar 3 tablespoons butter 2 tablespoons flour ¼ teaspoon cinnamon ½ cup chopped nuts; sprinkle over top of dough 9. Let rise in warm place (85 to 90 degrees F) until double in bulk about 45 minutes to 1 hour. 10. Bake in moderate oven (375 degrees F) 25 to 30 minutes. Yield: 9-inch square coffee cake _______

Old family recipes can be a tasty tradition during the holidays. What foods does your family usually make?

26 living • Winter 2016

1. Sift together: 1-½ cups sifted flour 2 teaspoons baking powder ½ teaspoon salt ¾ cup sugar 2. Add: ¼ cup shortening ½ cup milk

3. Beat for 2 minutes, 300 strokes, until batter is well-blended 4. Add 2 eggs, unbeaten 5. Beat for 2 minutes 6. Combine: 2 tablespoons melted butter ½ cup firmly packed brown sugar 7. Add: 1 cup chopped walnuts 1 tablespoon flour 1 teaspoon cinnamon. 8. Mix well. 9. Spread half of cake batter in bottom of greased 9x9x1-½ inch pan. 10. Sprinkle with half of sugar-nut mixture. 11. Add remainder of batter and balance of sugar and nuts. 12. Bake in moderate oven (350 degrees F) 30 minutes. 13. Serve warm. Yield: 9-inch square coffee cake. AUDREY CARLI is a freelance writer from Michigan.

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Winter 2016 • living 27

The birth of my sixth child I

drive the truck faster, weaving past cars on the city streets. I nearly pull out in front of someone and hit my brakes. We are 35 minutes from the birth center, but Maile’s labor has started. I stop at a red light just as another contraction builds inside her. This is our sixth child. I know in an intimate way the process my wife’s body goes through when the baby has decided to come. Maile will hum through her contractions. It will be quiet at first, barely a breath, but as the contractions get stronger and closer together her voice will swell into a loud kind of almost-singing. It’s a prehistoric chant, something in her DNA. But as we sit at the red light, and the contraction builds, that particular pressure transforms her humming into a guttural grunt. I also know what that means. Every birth is a miracle and every child is an extraordinary gift, whether they are your first “Do you have to push?” I ask, looking over child or your seventh. at her. This is not a good time to push. We are too far away. Her lips are pursed and white around the edges. She’s still exhaling the remnants of the At 7:30 p.m. Saturday night, one hour before we race down last contraction. She nods. “I wanted to that time.” the turn lane of Route 30, she says she wants to go for a walk. The traffic is slow. We hit every red light. Another She and I set out and walk down the long hill. The sun is contraction comes in, tides back out. Another. All those people setting off to our left, its light dripping into a vacant parking we pass in their cars are enjoying their normal evenings. lot, and a cool breeze sweeps by with the traffic. The air feels Going out to eat. Going home from work. Talking with friends lighter somehow, as if August has persuaded October to come on their phones. Can’t they see there is a miracle in our truck, and take over the evening duties. barely waiting to break forth? We have just turned east onto Frederick Street when Maile slows down. She breathes deep, and I could see it beginning to happen: the withdrawal, the searching. She is looking for a The contractions come closer together way into the labyrinth. now, and Maile is far away. She is lost in “You okay?” I ask her. There is some fear in her eyes. “That was a strong one,” she says, walking with one hand the labyrinth, trying to find her way to supporting her back. “I’m scared. You’re going to have to help the elusive center. me with this baby.” I nod quietly. “You should probably drive faster,” she says in a flat, calm “You got it, babe,” I say. “One at a time.” voice, but there is a trace of urgency, like a small, red thread On our way back to the house, a homeless man points at her on a white carpet. stomach. I look both ways and pull hesitantly through the red light, “I saw another one of you over on Lime,” he says, then drive the rest of the highway in the center lane, my fourpractically shouting. Indescribable joy is etched on his face. ways flashing. We are 20 minutes from the birth center. But We smile and nod. we are finally out of the city. We are fleeing into the country “Over on Lime!” he insists. “Pregnant ladies everywhere.” shadows, the sun setting behind us. Then he turns and walks away. “Play that song again,” Maile whispers. The song is “Born” We have one last crosswalk before we would be home. The by Over the Rhine … sign is orange, don’t walk. Just then, Maile bends over and ❖ arches her back. She breathes deep again and hums. That is the I’ve seen this before. When Maile begins labor, when the first hum I’ve heard. The contractions are serious. She stands contractions start to come closer together, she withdraws up and looks like she might vomit. Her eyes are far away. She inside of herself. There is a labyrinth she follows to the is entering the labyrinth. deepest parts, and when she’s there, when she’s in active labor, “Maybe we should head into the birth center,” I say, not I can’t find her anymore. She wouldn’t recognize me if we expecting her to take me up on the suggestion. She doesn’t passed in the street. like to go in until it’s time. But she surprises me, there on the 28 living • Winter 2016

©ADOBE STOCK

by SHAWN SMUCKER

corner of Queen Avenue and James Street, just opposite the Greek restaurant we love. She doesn’t even make eye contact with me. Only nods. “That’s a good idea. We should probably hurry a little bit.” When we get home, we get ready and drive out of the city. That’s when I weave in and out of city traffic. That’s when Maile starts to feel an urge to push. ❖ We slip away from the setting sun, only 15 minutes from the birth center. With every contraction I ask her if she needs to push. Sometimes she says yes. Sometimes no. These are the hills where I grew up, the sprawling, green fields with July corn as tall as a man. These are the summer nights I cut my teeth on. This is the land inside me. This far, green country is the place I will someday go home to when my life is over. I am not afraid of helping my wife deliver a baby in the truck, if I have to—not with these fields as witnesses. It almost seems fitting, that a child of mine would spring into being in the midst of the corn and the tobacco, the trees and the fireflies, the quiet, curving roads and the distant storm clouds.

that break through storm clouds. “What a gift,” she kept whispering over and over again. “What a gift.” Once the labyrinth is far behind, or perhaps once all of us are residing in the perfect center, we name her Poppy Lynne Louella. Poppy for the ruby red fields in England we often hiked through, gazed at. Lynne for my Aunt Linda who died a month ago, who rose through a bright pink sunset and fireworks that split the sky. Louella for Maile’s grandmother, homeless at a young age with only her sister, and one of the strongest women we ever knew. Poppy Lynne Louella. What a gift. SHAWN SMUCKER is the co-author of many nonfiction books, including “Breakaway Amish: Growing up with the Bergholz Beard Cutters” (Herald Press, 2016). His first novel, “The Day the Angels Fell”,” will be released in 2017. Shawn lives in Lancaster, Pa., with his wife Maile and their six children. You can find him at shawnsmucker.com.

It is searing pain and numbing joy; it will break you into interstellar pieces. But we make it. We pull into the birth center and the nurse lets us in after hours and we go into the same room where our son Leo was born. The same room. The same bed, the same tub. I remember texting everyone the news of his birth, including our friend Alise who had recently had a stillborn son. I wanted her to know we were thinking of her. Joy and sorrow are inextricably mixed as I get older. They’re a tangled mess. The contractions come closer together now, and Maile is far away. She is lost in the labyrinth, trying to find her way to the elusive center. She hums through contractions. She strips down and climbs into the warm bath, facing the corner. She squats down as far as she can, her arms out in front of her. It is close to the child’s pose in yoga. She whispers prayers into the water when the pain becomes unbearable. Her breath scatters shallow ripples over the thin surface. Or maybe it is the Spirit. She wants me to push deep into her back, and I press with the heels of my hands. I feel her spine and the deep muscles of her lower back, her ribs. Bone from my bone. Flesh from my flesh. She presses herself down until I think she might melt into the water or split in two. She wants help out of the tub, so we move her to the bed. She hums through the contractions and the humming turns louder and louder. It rises up over itself until she sounds like a muezzin calling us all to prayer. Her powerful voice gives me chills. She moans and cries out and pushes. The way a child comes into being from a woman is the birth of a galaxy. It is searing pain and numbing joy; it will break you into interstellar pieces. A bundle of powder-coated limbs slips and jumbles its way into the world, still attached to the source. A squirming heap of carbon and water covered in blood and a ghostly vernix. Believe in miracles. They are born every day, attached to their mothers. When Maile realizes the baby is a girl, she raises her face towards the ceiling. Her smile is like those clear shafts of light Winter 2016 • living 29

The troubled tummy: your child’s digestive distress

he dinner scene is dishearteningly familiar. Your 8-yearold daughter takes a couple bites of spaghetti, then starts poking at the food on her plate. “Eat up!” you say brightly, hoping her response will be different this time. “I’m full,” she says, rubbing her belly. “I don’t feel very good.” Almost nothing is more concerning than a child who won’t eat. Sure, all kids get stomach aches. But when gastrointestinal distress—cramps, diarrhea, nausea—frequently interrupts your child’s daily activities, your own gut begins to say: “Something’s wrong.” Diagnoses of chronic conditions, such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), and celiac disease, are becoming more common in the pediatric population. Food intolerance may occur either as an isolated condition, or in conjunction with another condition, exacerbating its symptoms. Coming up with a definitive diagnosis and an effective treatment plan for these kids often takes time, and requires good teamwork. Pediatricians typically refer patients to a specialist when symptoms recur frequently and begin to affect a child’s health or quality of life. Dr. Bruce Birk says, “The most common referrals I make are for constipation, abdominal pain, chronic diarrhea, chronic vomiting, severe gastroesophageal reflux and failure to thrive.” Pediatric gastroenterologist Dr. Jillian Sullivan says it’s helpful for children and their caregivers to prepare for the first appointment with a GI specialist. “I typically ask how long the child has experienced symptoms, if there are identifiable triggers (e.g. stress or particular foods), how symptoms are relieved, and whether any treatments have been tried,” says Sullivan. “If a parent has kept a journal of the symptoms, it can be very useful during that initial visit.” After the interview and a physical examination, the gastroenterologist “may recommend diagnostic bloodwork, x-rays and procedures such as colonoscopy or endoscopy to help sort out the causes of the symptoms,” Sullivan says, “Therapy for gastrointestinal problems can range from dietary changes and stress management, to a variety of medication options.” The treatment plan often includes a specialized diet. Licensed dietitian Lucy Glaize says families come to her with some basic information, but adds, “The fine details can be unexpected and overwhelming.” There may be cross-contamination issues or sources of hidden problem foods that parents haven’t thought about. Diagnosed with celiac disease when she

30 living • Winter 2016

was 10, Glaize herself had to adopt a gluten-free diet, and has firsthand knowledge of what her patients experience. She helps families make changes one step at a time. “We can break the process down so it’s less overwhelming,” Glaize says. She adds it’s important for parents to discuss the child’s needs openly and honestly with siblings, friends and school personnel. As Glaize remarks, “A child should feel confident in her own skin and not embarrassed or shy about having specialized dietary needs.” It is estimated that more than 40 percent of people with chronic digestive conditions seek treatment through complementary and alternative medicine. Dr. Patrick Giammarise, DC, co-treats many patients who see other specialists. He says his hands-on nutrition based treatment methods differ from traditional Western medicine, in that he focuses on improving function rather than on the pathology. “For most people with digestive disorders, including kids, it’s either a functional problem or a food sensitivity, rather than

It’s important for parents to discuss the child’s needs openly and honestly with siblings, friends and school personnel. a structural issue or disease.” By desensitizing the digestive tract to problem foods and/or using specific enzymes to aid digestion, Giammarise says patients with food sensitivities and functional bowel disorders often find they can eat more foods. Many are also able to decrease the number of medications they take, thus reducing side effects. Effective management of any chronic gastrointestinal condition is a long-term effort, but critical. Left untreated, many of these conditions have serious long-term physical health consequences – and all impact social-emotional wellbeing. Read on for more details about some common chronic gut disorders.

GERD – Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease

Reflux is the movement of gastric (stomach) contents

©ADOBE STOCK

Nearly one third of children suffer from chronic gastrointestinal distress. Talk to your doctor if you think your child may be suffering from more than just a tummy ache.

by ASHLEY TALMADGE

back into the esophagus. It is common in infants, but usually resolves by 18 months without intervention. In older children with GERD, the sphincter between the esophagus and stomach malfunctions. Stomach acid constantly enters the esophagus, and can damage the lining. Over time, other areas—pharynx, larynx, lungs, sinuses, ears, teeth – may be affected. Symptoms: Heartburn (reported by kids as stomach ache or chest discomfort, especially after meals); wet burps or vomiting; poor appetite; swallowing difficulties; sore throat or hoarseness; respiratory difficulties (apnea, wheezing, chronic cough or throat clearing); chronic ear or sinus infections; weight loss; irritability; tooth decay. Kids affected: GERD symptoms are experienced by up to 25 percent of children and teens. Resource: Association of Gastrointestinal Motility Disorders, www.agmd-gimotility.org.

IBS – Irritable Bowel Syndrome

Gastrointestinal symptoms are caused by a disturbance of movement through the intestine. Symptoms of this functional condition may be frequent, but the GI tract is not damaged. Stress and certain foods are thought to be triggers. Symptoms: Abdominal discomfort; cramping; chronic diarrhea and/or constipation; bloating; urgency with defecation; decreased appetite. Kids affected: It is estimated that 5 to 15 percent of kids have IBS. Resource: International Foundation for Functional Gastrointestinal Disorders, www.aboutibs.org.

Celiac Disease

The immune system reacts to gluten (a protein found in all products containing wheat, barley and rye) as a pathogen. Intestinal villi are damaged, resulting in an inability to absorb nutrients properly. People with celiac disease are more prone to other autoimmune disorders, as well as thyroid disease, osteoporosis and skin problems. A lifelong one hundred percent gluten-free diet is the only effective treatment. Symptoms: Weight loss; nausea; abdominal pain; diarrhea; constipation; vomiting; bloating; failure to thrive. Kids affected: About one percent of children and adults have celiac disease. Kids with affected family members are more at risk. In addition, about eight percent of people are gluten sensitive, though they do not suffer intestinal damage and can eat small amounts of gluten. Resource: Gluten Intolerance Group, www.gluten.org.

Crohn’s Disease

Crohn’s is one of several Inflammatory Bowel Diseases (IBDs). The immune system targets “good” gut bacteria,

Info online:

GI Kids - gikids.org Kids Health - kidshealth.org

Books:

“Food Diary for IBS: Keep Track of Food and Symptoms Diary,” by Frances P. Robinson “Hope is Certain: A Story of a Teenager with Crohn’s,” by Krystal Welk “The Reflux Book: A Parent’s Guide to Gastroesophageal Reflux,” by Beth Pulsifer-Anderson “Willie Villie Meets Casey Kramps in Sprueville: A Book About Celiac Disease,” by Elena Torsiello

causing inflammation. Any part of the digestive tract can be affected, from mouth to anus. Causes are not well understood. Stress and diet may exacerbate Crohn’s. Kids with family members who have Crohn’s are more at risk. Symptoms: Abdominal pain; cramping; bloody stool; diarrhea; constipation; fever; ulcerations. Kids affected: Of the 700,000 diagnosed cases of Crohn’s, about 20 percent are in children. Adolescents and young adults, ages 15-35, are most commonly diagnosed. Resource: Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America, www.ccfa.org.

Food Intolerance

A food intolerance results when the body is unable to digest the offending food – e.g., a key enzyme is not being produced (as in lactose intolerance), or there is a functional issue in the digestive tract. Symptoms: Abdominal pain; bloating; diarrhea; constipation; reflux; chronic ear infections; runny nose; fatigue; irritability; hyperactivity (in children). Food intolerance is not the same as a food allergy. Food allergies are an almost immediate and potentially fatal immune system reaction to a food, usually involving multiple body systems. In contrast, symptoms of a food intolerance are less severe and often don’t show up until hours, or even days after ingesting the offending food. A person with a food intolerance can often eat small amounts of the food without consequence, whereas a person with a food allergy must avoid even skin contact with the food. Kids affected: It’s estimated between five and seven percent of kids have a food allergy, and the incidence is increasing. Many more children suffer with food intolerances. Resource: The book “Understanding Your Food Allergies and Intolerances: A Guide to Management and Treatment,” by Wayne Shreffler. ASHLEY TALMADGE is a freelance writer and mother of two boys from Oregon.

Black’s Paint & Floor Covering

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©ADOBE STOCK

Long distance celebration T by ESTHER M. BAILEY

he tradition of spending Christmas with my mother and grandmother continued the year after I married, but the following year, my husband wanted to spend the holiday with his family. While I fully concurred with the idea of fair play, the realization my mother and grandmother would suffer from the Christmas blues disturbed me. Somehow, I had to do more than send presents and make a long-distance call.

Somehow I had to do more than send presents and make a long-distance call. Words from the song, “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” inspired me. Gifts opened on consecutive days would enhance the joy of the season, but I could foresee the feeling of loneliness my loved ones would experience on Christmas Eve—the time when we normally exchanged gifts. I needed to build anticipation that would lead up to a momentous occasion. A plan formed in my mind. I would send each of them twelve presents designated for the twelve days preceding Christmas. But instead of opening the gifts each day, my loved ones would open an attached envelope, read a clue, and try to guess the content of the package. For example, the clue that matched my mother’s favorite deodorant read, “This will keep you as fresh as a Daisy.” Daisy was my mother’s name. I instructed them to write down the guesses to compare with the Specialists in Automotive Paint & Reconditioning Supplies

The holiday season is a time for family. But what do you do when you can’t be with your family for the holidays?

actual gifts they would open on Christmas Eve. Money was ideal as the major gift for both women. The clue to the money tree I made for my mother read, “You always told me this didn’t grow on trees, but maybe you were wrong.” Since a reward adds excitement to any game, I placed an ample supply of coins in a box labeled Bank. Each correct guess earned fifty cents. Unearned money would be donated to their favorite cause of missions.

Family Life Resource Center 273 Newman Avenue, Harrisonburg, VA 22801 434-8450 e-mail: services@flrc.org

The family that prays together stays together.

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32 living • Winter 2016

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To add nostalgia to the celebration, I composed a letter for them to read on Christmas Eve. I opened my heart and simply allowed my emotions to spill onto the paper. Then I continued with the “I-remember-when” approach my mother had introduced to me while I was growing up. For me, Christmas memories began when I was nearly 4 years old. The set of blue metal dishes I received that year made a lasting impression on me—perhaps because I liked to throw tea parties for my dolls. While our family lived in the country, we trekked to the woods each year to cut down a Christmas tree. We trimmed the tree with strings of popcorn, a few homemade decorations and our collection of ornaments. About the time my childish wonder over presents and decorations declined, I discovered the real meaning of Christmas. Our shared faith had enhanced the celebration of Christmas in the past and could give us a sense of togetherness even on a long-distance basis. As I finished my letter, I realized I already experienced a sense of togetherness. I prayed that, although I was absent, I could project part of myself across the miles to the ones I loved. “Why don’t you share some of your good memories with each other?” I challenged my mother and grandmother. When I made my long-distance call on Christmas Day, my usually-reserved mother bubbled over with enthusiasm. “It just seemed like you were here,” she said. As it turned out, that was our last Christmas celebration free from the shadow of sorrow. My mother’s health began to fail soon afterward and, a few years later, my mother and grandmother died the same year. That is why I treasure the memory of the year I was able to share Christmas with my mother and grandmother, despite the fact we were far apart. ESTHER M. BAILEY is a freelance writer from Arizona.

Bob’s Overhead Doors Installation & Repair

Specializing in Commercial & Residential Overhead Garage Doors

540-943-5435 BobsOverheadDoor.com About Us:

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Weaver’s

(Area Rugs only)

3245 S. Main Street, Harrisonburg, Virginia • (540) 433-1517 2530 W. Main Street, Waynesboro, Virginia • (540) 943-3231

Winter 2016 • living 33

Congratulations… Amelia Carla Reames Bergton Woody Brown Terry Dove Victoria Dove Dorothy Fitzwater Dana Hartman Geraldine Hartman Morgan Mongold Emma Wittig Bridgewater Opal Alt Hensel Armentrout Nancy Dagen Sam Dagen Charlotte Fifer Virginia Furry Anna Keller Audrey Koogler Christina Moyers Brenda Patterson Helen Sheffer Anita Strickler Glen Thomas Edwin Wade Margaret Ann Wheelbarger June White Brightwood Virginia Coppedge Broadway Martha Brady Helen Brunk Sharon Caplinger Debbe Coffman Jane Conley Carolyn Cubbage Robert & Nancy Hinkle Pearl Keister Eldon & Bettie Layman Dottie Miller Juanita Plantz Darlene Runion Sammy Runion Cathy Slifer Savilla Shipe Eleanor Showman Kim, Paisley, Rilee & Sierra Showman Evelyn Shultz Pat Small

to those who successfully completed the word search from the Fall issue of Living. Churchville Ethel Ernst

Clear Brook Mary Maher Criders Carrol Coffman Bernice Keplinger Doug Propst Sheila Reedy Doc Ritchie Dayton Debbie Billhimer Joanne Good Ralph & Christine Hill Donna Hoover Judith Kile Chuck Mathias Brenda Miller Sue Ann Ringgold Faye Siever Edinburg Donna Shafer Elkton Elizabeth Bailey Leon Bailey Linda Cooper Brenda Dean Wayne Dean Julie Dearing Anita “Betty” Dovel Alison Galvanek Norawood Good Linda Gooden Martha Gooden Maxine Hines Joyce Lam Pam Lilly Buddy Merica Loretta Miller Sandra Morris Janet Roach Lebert Roach Joyce Sheets Fulks Run Anna Dove Becky Morris John Nelson Grottoes Kenny Berry Marie Marston

Angel Moore Brooke Morris Genevieve Ritchie Elah Rankin June Wise

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Shirley Young

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Phenix City, AL Dick Hottinger

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Upper Tract, WV Karen Kimble

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Winter Migration by Jeanette Baer Showalter

Winter migration

by Jeanette Baer Showalter

Just as many people seek out a warmer climate in the frigid winter months, traveling to Florida or other sunny locales, so do various kinds of animals. The Arctic tern travels over 44,000 miles in a year, migrating from the Arctic to the Antarctic region, then back again. Even the monarch butterfly flies almost 3000 miles to spend the winter months in or near Mexico. You will not have to go nearly as far to seek out these animals that migrate. You will find them all in the puzzle traveling forward, backward, horizontally, vertically, or diagonally. A

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ADELIE PENGUIN AMERICAN BISON ARCTIC TERN BALTIMORE ORIOLE BIGHORN SHEEP CANADA GOOSE CARIBOU DRAGONFLY ELEPHANT SEAL ELK FRUIT BAT GRAY WHALE HUMPBACK WHALE LEATHERBACK TURTLE LOCUST MARLIN MONARCH BUTTERFLY MOOSE NIGHTINGALE PUFFIN RED CRAB REINDEER SALMON SANDPIPER SHEARWATER SNOW GOOSE SWORDFISH TUNA WHITE STORK WILDEBEEST ZEBRA

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Winter 2016 â&#x20AC;¢ living 35

On this day earth shall ring With the song children sing* Let the words of your favorite Christmas carols ring in your heart and life this Christmas. The board, staff and advertisers of Valley Living wish you and your extended family a blessed and joyous holiday season. Doctor & Mrs. Byard S. Deputy

92 N. Liberty St. • Harrisonburg 540-433-2601

Glendon Blosser

Dorothy Hartman

Park View Appliance Service, Inc.

205 Dry River Rd. • Bridgewater 540-810-3239

Botkin Rose

Living Board & Staff:

540-434-8179

Bernard & Joan Martin John & Mary Ann Heatwole Whitmer’s Tire & Service 611 North Main St. • Harrisonburg 540-434-4486

36 living • Winter 2016

Clark & Bradshaw

Suter Engineering

Trisha Blosser David Rohrer Tracey Veney Jonas Borntrager Beth Driver LaDawn Knicely Angelia Rempel Melodie Davis Ivette Churney Peter Churney Lindsey Shantz Mary Jo Veurink

*From Piae Cantiones medieval song collection, “On this day earth shall ring.”