The Courier week 24

Edition 24

www.thecourier.es

Friday, August 5, 2011

Court boots out appeal over Alicante boarding RYANAIR have been slapped in the face for a second time by a new court ruling that the restrictions against boarding passengers on foot at Alicante Airport must remain.

In this week’s ruling, Elche’s Mercantile Court No.3 said the characteristics of the new terminal make it advisable, for safety reasons, to board people via the passenger bridges.

Ryanair were ordered to pay costs, though it is believed they can appeal against the court’s decision.

The low-cost airline had asked the court to order AENA Spanish Airports to offer the same services and conditions as in the old El Altet terminal - and allow their passengers to board without using the bridges.

The court’s first ruling on the matter, although also

NEW BLOW FOR RYANAIR rejecting Ryanair’s appeal, asked AENA to reconsider whether the airbridges were necessary.

On-site tests were subsequently carried out at the terminal at the end of that month, with AENA saying that embarking and disembarking on foot could only be permitted during the winter season – and even then, only on certain gates.

TRELI ON THE TELLY: Don’t miss Alex Trelinski’s first TV column - Page 35

Brit death No.4 in Ibiza A 21-year-old Glaswegian who drowned in a hotel swimming pool on Monday was the FOURTH British holidaymaker to die in Ibiza in five weeks.

Barry Hesford (pictured) died after getting into trouble in the pool at the 63room Aparthotel Bahia in San Antonio.

The Guardia Civil is investigating the cause but a spokesman announced: ‘‘We cannot yet say what happened.’

A Facebook page - RIP Barry Bhoy -

has been set up by friends in memory of the Celtic fan. So far, it has attracted more than 1,000 tributes.

Three other Brits have died on the island in the past few weeks after falling from balconies. The last was Samuel McCaughey, 23, from Manchester, who plunged from his third-floor flat in San Antonio last Friday. More than a dozen

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Friday, August 5, 2011

I’m not coming down - I might get wet TELEPHONE

96 672 6437 JUNGLE DRUMS E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Alto del Moncayo s/n, Guardamar del Segura, 03140, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 672 64 37 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 96 672 6437 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 96 672 6437 616 332 178 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Denise La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 616 332 178 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Writers Mick Hardy Donna Gee Suzanne Manners Sally Bengtsson Harry Nuttall Harold Heys Phil Smith Steve Bott Tony Mayes Jake Monroe

Affiliations

Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 132 - 2011 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features.

Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non-appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

Picture of the week

96 672 7334

WOULD YOU FLOODY BELIEVE IT?

AS the Costa Blanca basks in the predictable baking heat of August, spare a thought for the poor folk at home, where FLASH FLOODS have been wreaking havoc in some areas.

Homes and businesses had to be evacuated in parts of Yorkshire after heavy

rain fell on Wednesday afternoon.

Humberside Fire Service received around 135 calls in the Goole area and a spokesman said about 50 firefighters were sent to the town to help pump out buildings.

He added: "It was over a period between 5pm and 11pm. It was mainly elderly people who were evacuated.

One old people's home was affected.

"The residents were moved into a nearby home until the water subsided."

In Dunnington, North Yorkshire, trees collapsed when high winds and torrential rains hit the village.

Parts of Yorkshire received almost a month's rainfall in just 12 hours, weather experts said. Between 6am and 6pm, Howden received 41.9mm, while Leconfield had 24mm of rain, with 22.6mm falling there over a period of just one hour.

More rain was expected in parts of the country yesterday (Thursday), with eastern England particularly under threat.

Tragedy as fourth Brit dies in Ibiza From Page One

SPANISH SCENE

Zoe Holden

August 6 – Dolores: Starting at 10pm at La Plaza Cardenal Belluga - this year's elections and coronations of the Queens and Ladies of Dolores August 6 - San Miguel: Election of the Young Queen of San Miguel 2011 at the 'Recinto Ferial' with a performance by Veronica Lozano, starting at 10pm.

August 7 – Elche: 9pm -

offering is "El principe de Persia" (The Prince of Persia) August 12 - Pilar de La Horadada: "Moon of August" The International day of Young People will consist of a beach party at Playa de Las Villas-Higuericas, with DJS, Mechanical Bull, Surf Table, Foam Party, Football Table and loads more!

Monday Sunny High Temperature: 31°C RealFeel: 37°C

Festivity Lighting, then from the Puente Oritces to the Plaza de Baix there is a Band Festival August 7 - Pilar de la Horadada: Flower market from 10am to 3pm at Calle Commercial de Mil Palmeras August 11 – Almoradi: La Plaza de la Consititucion will be showing a film at 10pm every Thursday. This week's

young people, several of them British, have fallen from balconies in Ibiza and neighbouring Majorca this summer.

Several were involved in horse play, dubbed

by Spaniards as 'balconing', in which they were clambering from one balcony to another while high on drink or drugs.

Last year, several tourists were killed or seriously injured when they jumped deliberately in attempts to land in swimming pools below their rooms.

Today Cloudy start High Temperature: 31°C RealFeel: 34°C

Saturday Sunshine High Temperature: 32°C RealFeel: 36°C

Sunday Sunny and hot High Temperature: 36°C RealFeel: 37°C

Tuesday Partly sunny High Temperature: 27°C RealFeel: 28°C

Wednesday Few clouds High Temperature: 26°C RealFeel: 26°C

Thursday Partly sunny High Temperature: 26°C RealFeel: 27°C

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Friday, August 5, 2011

The Courier and Jungle Drums: A statement THE Courier, Jungle Drums and our parent company, Rainbow Media Costa Blanca SL, feel it necessary to make a statement in today’s issue regarding malicious gossip being circulated by a third party regarding our ownership of Jungle Drums magazine.

We do this reluctantly, but we have no choice in the face of the totally inaccurate ‘facts’ being circulated.

The matter will ultimately be settled by our lawyers but some of the innuen-

dos have become personal and whilst it was our intention to remain silent, we now have no option but to state the facts, rather than the fiction.

Dave Bull was one of three investors behind the launch of The Courier – his investment being Jungle Drums magazine, which he owned at that time. The other two directors both made cash investments and Mr Bull was appointed launch Editor of the newspaper.

On July 5, 2011, Mr Bull resigned for

reasons he has not fully divulged – and has since shown increasing bitterness towards the board of Rainbow Media and some of its staff.

He now seems to be on a campaign to discredit this company and its directors in any way he can, using ‘facts’ that are demonstrably untrue.

Jungle Drums is part of Rainbow Media, something Mr Bull was happy to accede to when the partnership was formed. However, in resigning, he see-

mingly thought he could reclaim ownership of the magazine and carry on as if the partnership had never existed.

There are several other elements to the story and we assure readers that The Courier has done nothing to warrant these increasingly vitriolic and libellous attacks.

And when it comes to cock and Bull allegations, there is only so much we can take.

OH DANNY JOY Bottle-bank donation boosts orphans fund by €989 DANNY PATTERSON always wanted to give something back to the country which had given him his living.

That was one of the reasons why he began dropping his loose cash into an array of bottles and bags at his Guardamar home. ‘’I always planned to give the money to charity,'' recalls the 35-year-old property dealer. ''The only question was which one.''

Initially he opted for an orphanage in Alicante and donated 600 euros towards Christmas presents for the children, only for the experience to end in an anti-climax. ''The problem was that I never got to see the kids' smiling faces when they received the gifts,'' he says. ''It was a disappointment really.''

Meanwhile, Danny continued to turn out his pockets and as the cash mountain rose unprecedented heights, he pondered on a finding a new home for it.

That opportunity duly came when he overheard a conversation in Ruby's Bar at El Raso about raising money to buy a washing machine for an impoverished orphanage in Elche.

Perfect Fund-raiser Karen Owen had set herself a target of 600 euros and Danny's ears immediately pricked up. ''It seemed the absolutely perfect direction to take,'' says the Brighton-born entrepreneur, who promptly pledged his replenished bottle bank to Karen's cause.

This time the ending was a happy one... because Danny's pot came to just 11.5 euros short of the 1,000 mark. And thanks to some amazing additional support from El Raso's residents and business community, Karen's campaign amassed an astonishing 3060 euros in total.

The proceeds will but not one but two washing machine and tumble dryers for the orphanage, plus an array of clothing and other items for its residents. And Danny is hoping that this time he will actually get to see those smiling orphan faces.

For the co-owner of Property Choice, making people happy is becoming a regular occurrence. In addition to his bottle bank philanthropy, his company also threw a party for the volunteer workers who cleared up El Raso's overgrown roundabouts when Guardamar town council ran out of money.

As he says: ‘’The least we can do is to give something back to the community that helps us to make our living.’’

DANNY PATTERSON: Inspired charity jackpot for orphans

SPAIN’S POPULATION IS DWINDLING - OFFICIAL SPAIN is losing population, according to a new study by the National Statistics Institute.

Figures show the country has lost 27,771 residents so far this year, and that emigration now outstrips immigration.

This is the first time in recent history that Spain's population has dwindled.

Gone are the days when nearly one million migrants came to this country annually, with the demographic decline a result of the economic crisis. "The loss of population signifies a country's failure," said Antonio Izquierdo, a professor of sociology.

Others think differently. Andreu Domingo, deputy director of the Centre for Demographic Studies at Barcelona's

Autónoma University, said: "Losing population is not a problem. Many countries have to get used to it because of the low birth rates. Personally, I think it may even be beneficial.’’

The downturn began in January, when the population was an estimated 46,152,000 million. In July, it was an estimated 46,125,000, with emigration outpacing immigration by 70,759 people.

"That is an impressive figure, although departures may be overestimated in some regions," said Domingo, noting that over the past decade Spain had been beating immigration records and was only behind the US in terms of total annual arrivals.

‘Bottom half of corpse’ found on beach A JOGGER on Cullera beach made a grisly discovery on Tuesday of half a human body lying on the sand.

The grim find came during a rare evening moment when the beach in the popular Valencia-province holiday town was mostly empty.

Cullera's Marenys beach is a haven for Spanish tourists, particularly from the capital, during August.

Emergency services say they were alerted by a man who said he had seen 'a body from the waist down'.

Further details have not yet been revealed.

THE PP mayor of Los Alcazares, Anastasio Bastida, has revealed that the municipal treasury is short of €600,000 to pay the July salaries of town-hall workers.

He said the balance is as low as €30,000 and is urging residents for early payment of their property tax (IBI), which is due by the end of September.

The municipal government total debt is as high as €29million, four million of which consists of unrecognised bills, many dating back to the year 2,000.

According to the new mayor, all the budgets on the town hall’s books over the last 27 years are false.

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Friday, August 5, 2011

JAIL OR FREEDOM? You be

IMAGINE that you are a Crown Court judge, and the defendant before you is a paedophile teacher who has been caught with 4,500 indecent images on his computer, 300 in the worst categories and some of indecent acts with a child aged two.

What would your sentence be? Would you jail him for at least a year, as I would, both as a punishment for him and a clear message to society that this will not be tolerated, especially by a man who has the trust of hundreds of parents?

I was astounded to read last week that a female judge gave the 63-year-old teacher in question a 12-month jail sentence - but she suspended it for two years, meaning he was virtually let off, provided he keeps his nose clean.

He was put on the Sex Offenders Register, banned from owning a computer capable of connecting to the internet and automatically banned from working with children.

But even more baffling was the comment from the judge, who said: "I don't criticise you for being a teacher who is attracted to children. Many teachers are, but they keep their urges under control, both when it comes to children and when it comes to images of children."

What sort of crazy message is this soppy judge sending to society? A judge who has previously given an absolute discharge to a headmaster caught with 8,000 images and videos on his computer, after he pleaded that drugs he was taking to control Parkinson's Disease made him sexually hyperactive!

It's about time that judges toughened up and meted out sentences the public demand, and while we're at it, the government should toughen up on the prison regime too, so they are once again real deterrents.

Last week British Gas was fined a seven-figure sum for failing to properly manage complaints from its customers. No problem with that, except the fine was meted out by the government watchdog and the

the judge

whole thing smacks of total hypocrisy when the government is as guilty as hell when it comes to managing its own revenue and customs.

HM Revenue and Customs has been treating its "customers" with utter contempt, so much so that half of calls go unanswered and letters are ignored for months.It's the most miserable record of mismanagement and bad customer care, but what happens? Absolutely nothing, because the government will never kick itself up its own backside.

Instead of sacking the people at the top and throwing the Minister responsible out of a job, too, the government no doubt will blame the previous administration and carry on in its own disgraceful way. Yet it has the bare-faced cheek to condemn, criticise and fine companies who fail to perform to perfection.

Just imagine what the comparable fine would be on the wonderful HM Revenue and Customs! Just imagine if the fine was handed back to the taxpayers - we would all be rich. Shame that the country would be bankrupt!

Still on the subject of British Gas, we have been watching as one energy company after another has raised prices - not by a small amount, but by percentages way above inflation, which heralds a bleak time ahead for those in the UK this winter. Thank goodness we can benefit from the comparative warmth of Spain.

It makes me wonder whether energy would be as costly in the UK if the industry hadn't been nationalised in the past. We now have a minefield of 400 different tariffs imposed by the various companies, and if you get tempted to switch to what may look the cheapest today, there's the prospect of it being the dearest in a few weeks time.

All these companies competing against each other must raise costs, because they're all employing sales people to tempt us and paying for all that TV and press advertising. And for what?

Have we really got the time to trawl through data and comparison websites to discover the best deal for gas, electricity, telephones, insurance, education, health and hospital services, ferry crossings, flights, supermarket food etc, etc? Is this what modern living is all about, brought on the altar of giving the public choice? It all makes you lose the will to live.

Remember the good old days when there were just Gas and Electricity Board shops in the high street and life was so much simpler. And I don't remember complaints then about the high price for fuel as we have today.

Friday, August 5, 2011

SPEAK ENGLISH? JUST THE JOB! SPAIN is one of the few European countries where having an acceptable level of English still represents a significant added value on the job market.

People know this, and despite the economic crisis (or better yet, because of it), demand for English lessons is on the rise.

The business of teaching English - a guaranteed success in a country where people still struggle to express themselves in the world's lingua franca - is experiencing a new boom.

This is the backdrop for an initiative that originated in Silicon Valley, California, and could really catch on in Spain. It’s a website called Verbling.com, which allows users to converse in English with native speakers - basically to enjoy an interchange online.

The service is free, but it is time-consuming. It is based on the time-honoured system of barter, which means that the English speaker we are chatting with is not a Good Samaritan, but rather someone who wants to learn Spanish in turn. So after conversing in English, both users will spend the same amount of time talking in Spanish.

Verbling is designed to be an online platform for people all over the world who want to learn English or Spanish, by creating the right setting to bring people together in a mutually beneficial relationship. The conversations take place in real time, require no downloads, and have moderators who establish schedules, suggest topics of conversation and act as arbiters, checking that for every five minutes of conversation in English there are another five minutes of conversation in Spanish. Or at first, at least.

Afterwards, couples may establish their own rules.

The idea for Verbling.com came from two young Swedes, Jacob Jolis, 20, and Mikael Bernstein, 24, who are both studying at Stanford University in California.

After finding an associate, Fred Wulff, a 26-year-old software expert who was working at Google, they convinced the same investors who launched Facebook to provide funding for their project. The virtual platform went live this month, and the

founders are currently working on software to measure users' linguistic evolution.

Their goal, they say, is not to replace traditional English classes, since doing the groundwork - learning grammar and vocabulary - is unavoidable. But the website is a friendly, inexpensive complement to that work. All that is necessary is a computer and broadband internet access.

If it works, it could become an especially attractive solution in Spain, where demand for English lessons is greater than in practically any other country in the world. An indication of this is the fact that Spain is the largest European market for Oxford University Press's English-learning books. Also, Spain is one of the greatest sources of revenue for Cambridge ESOL, a unit of Cambridge University that offers examinations and English diplomas for non-native speakers.

And there's more: six years ago, the Spanish Federation of Language Teaching Centres (FECEI) figured there were around 3,500 private English schools in Spain; these days there are around 4,500. And everything suggests that there will be more in the future, says Richard Johnson, president of FECEI and founder of the English Language Institute in Seville.

Johnson says that in the more than 30 years he’s been living in Spain, English has gone from being considered a luxury, or a symbol of social status, to being viewed as a necessary skill.

"To more and more people, English has become indispensable," he says. Johnson explains that a growing number of parents consider it an economic priority to enrol their children in English classes from the age of three or four. "They see it as life insurance."

A newer trend is the increase in young adults who pay for private lessons to improve their chances of being accepted in college or to be more competitive on the job market.

Jacob Jolis has noticed the same trend among Verbling users in Latin America. "For many of them, the goal is purely economic," he notes.

Barcelona: The naked truth about fines BARCELONA city council fines at least one person every two days for walking around the street naked or nearly-naked.

Since the city launched a ban on people wearing only swimwear in public – which includes bikinis with sarongs or shorts, or

men going shirtless – authorities have amassed thousands in fines.

Walking the streets in swimwear warrants a fine of between 120 and 300 euros, and those caught naked or nearly naked face a rap of up to 500 euros.

Since the ban was announced on May 29, the city police have cautioned 37 people.

And they believe the figure would have been higher figure had it not been for the adverse weather in Barcelona in July.

Police say they only fine people who, after being caught and warned, continue to break the rules.

The rule does not apply on the seafront esplanade – only those who walk around totally naked will be penalised – nor on the naturist beach of La Duna in the Mar Bella area.

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Friday, August 5, 2011

BULL-FIGHTING - CULTURE OR TORTURE? SPANISH GOVERNMENT SAYS CULTURE

By SALLY BENGTSSON LOVE it or hate it, bullfighting really is part of the Spanish landscape. The bad news for animal lovers is that the Spanish government has recognised the spectacle as "an artistic discipline and cultural product", delighting enthusiasts but outraging animal rights campaigners.

Prime minister José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero's socialist government, in a surprising announcement, declared that the ministry of culture will, from now on, be responsible for the "development and protection" of bullfighting, which previously fell within the remit of the interior ministry.

The move follows pressure from bullfighting organisations keen to protect their livelihood following a controversial vote to ban bullfighting in the Catalonia region last year.

The ministry of culture said in a statement: "As it is understood that bullfighting is an artistic discipline and a cultural product, it was considered that the ministry of culture was the correct place for its development and protection."

Juan Diego, a matador speaking for the Bullfighters Union, welcomed the announcement as necessary "for the protection and guardianship of bullfighting", and described the sport as "a symbol of Spanish cultural heritage that shapes the national identity".

Opponents, who describe the practice as a barbaric bloodsport, accused the government of abandoning a commitment to animal rights. Silvia Barquero, spokeswoman for Pacma, an anti-bullfighting political party, told newspaper Público the decision to switch responsibility for bullfighting to

the ministry of culture was "complete nonsense ... a measure which sends us back to the Middle Ages".

Animal rights campaigners say bullfighting only survives because it is subsidised by the Spanish taxpayer.

Attendances are falling, its appeal has faded among younger Spaniards and the industry has been hit by the economic crisis. The number of bullfights taking place at local fiestas has diminished as spending cuts have been enforced.

The Catalan regional government voted to ban bullfighting in the north-eastern region last July, by 68 votes to 55, with nine abstentions, on the grounds it is cruel and outdated. The vote was held after campaign group Prou! (‘Enough!’ in Catalan) collected 180,000 signatures in favour of a ban.

Anti-bullfighting organisations hope the Catalan example will be copied in some of Spain's 16 other autonomous communities.

Critics of the ban said it was motivated more by Catalan nationalism and a desire to assure political independence from Madrid than by a genuine desire to outlaw the tradition.

The ban, which will come into effect next January and will not be affected by Friday's decision, will be the first to be introduced in mainland Spain. The Canary Islands outlawed bullfighting in 1991. A poll last year for the newspaper El País found 60% of Spaniards did not enjoy bullfighting, but 57% disagreed with the ban in Catalonia.

Meanwhile, a man was gored to death after provoking a bull with an umbrella during a festival in Valencia last Sunday. The victim, who was described as around 50, was apparently drunk when he struck the bull with the umbrella, enraging the animal during Saturday evening festivities in the town of Rafelbunyol, in the province of Valencia.

The bull cornered the man in a narrow street before goring him several times. The man was taken to the hospital in Valencia, but died. The rest of the festival was cancelled.

here’’ and urged travellers to use caution when going near beaches. According to local government, the seaweed is above a health alert level, but below severe danger level.

Seaweed, a type of algae, is common along these beaches. It becomes toxic and releases hydrogen sulphide when it mixes with nitrogen waste run-off from pig and poultry farms.

"There is no doubt that farming is to blame," environmentalist Jean-Frangois Piquot told the Daily Mail.

"Brittany has five percent of French agricultural land but 60 percent of the pigs in France, 45 percent of the poultry and 30 per cent of the dairy farms."

According to the Mail, over

solution has consisted of hiring teams of workers to haul away the seaweed – which just comes back again.

In 2009 a member of a seaweed clearing team was poi-

TOXIC SEAWEED: THE THREAT IS GROWING TRAVELLERS to France's Brittany region are being warned that toxic seaweed is coating beaches and killing wildlife. And it could do the same to humans.

In the Saint Brieuc area, dead wild boars have been found along local beaches – and the suspected culprit is rotting algae.

The poisonous blue-green substance releases toxic fumes as it decomposes. It's

believed that breathing in these fumes caused the boars' deaths, and it can be the same for humans.

"This is a very toxic gas, which smells like rotten eggs," said local marine biologist Alain Menesguen.

"It attacks the respiratory system and can kill a man or an animal in minutes.’’

Morieux mayor Jean-Pierre Briens admitted: "We are very worried for the health of visitors to beaches around

Stowaway hid in sports bag

A STOWAWAY migrant was found inside a sports bag in a relative’s car on Tuesday as it drove onto the ferry from the North African enclave of Melilla to mainland Spain.

The relative was heading for his home in Barcelona, where he lives with his wife and son. The Civil Guard were inspecting all the vehicles due to board, when one officer noticed a slight movement in the bag inside the car’s boot.

The stowaway had to be helped out of the bag, and was disorientated and breathing rapidly. The bag had been piled up with the rest of the family’s luggage. The stowaway was, however, in good health and did not need medical treatment. On Wednesday, a group of eight Sub Saharan migrants were intercepted off the coast as they tried to reach Melilla in an inflatable toy boat. They are thought to have set off from the Moroccan port of BeniEnzar...

the past decade, demands from local councils to control the waste produced by these intensive farming practices has fallen on deaf ears. The government's

Happy 50th Birthday

Patrick

From all the staff at The Courier

soned by gas and taken to hospital in a coma. That same year a horseback rider passed out and his horse died after breathing the fumes.

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Friday, August 5, 2011

ALL FRIGHT ON THE NIGHT

SUNDAY, 16:00: I began writing this column 36 hours before my flight to Manchester for what I suppose could be loosely called a holiday.

A holiday in Manchester? That’s a contradiction of terms if I ever heard one.

Anyway, it’s going to be a working holiday because this particular Editor doesn’t have the luxury of a deputy. Or even a common or garden telephone hacking department.

Let’s just say I’m off to see family and friends amid Courier pages flying across the Internet - oh, and to attend the wedding of my best friend’s daughter. That should be an arresting occasion…if only because the groom is a policeman.

Anyway, the big question I've been asking myself is 'Why on earth am I travelling on a flight that leaves Alicante at 4.05am?

I've always thought I was reasonably sane...until now.

But what sort of idiot chooses to fly at 4.05am, for heaven's sake! All I can think is that when I booked my seat back in April, I thought I might actually sleep during a flight for the first time in my life.

Tuesday, 03:00 – My friend Larraine has just given up half a night's sleep to take me to the airport. It was shut.

Well, it might as well have been because the only living creatures in the otherwise deserted terminal were all laid out on benches, either asleep or drunk. Probably both.

No sign of a check-in desk for a Monarch flight to Manchester. Or a check-in queue for a flight to any-

feet before the plane got off the ground. So what if we were going to crash - who the hell cared anyway!

I'm glad to say that I no longer fear flying. Now I merely hate it.

04:05 – We're up...and right on time. If you're a nervous flyer like I am, the odds are that you spend half the trip analysing the faces of the cabin crew for the slightest sign of panic.

Even the tiniest gust of turbulence and the old heart skips a beat. And as for major air pockets, that's the signal for an 'Oh my God, we're going to crash' panic attack.

DESERTED: Alicante Airport at 3am on Tuesday where, for that matter. Not that I needed it – I'd already checked in online with hand luggage only.

The big question going through my head is: 'Does this flight actually exist?'

There’s only one way to find out – and that’s to head for the security area. The problem is finding it in the

Any more idiots for the 04:05 to Manchester? vast expanse of El Altet's new terminal.

It’s not as if there is anyone to ask where the Search and Destroy department is.

You know, Search every passenger stupid and Destroy every last drop of that lethal bottled water they are carrying.

Anyway, the only people in the security area were half-a dozen uniformed officers practising from their ''how to order the English around Nazi-style'' instruction leaflets.

Outnumbered six to one, I ploughed a lone trail through the enemy's defences, to be greeted on the other side of the X-ray machine by a familiar British aroma.

A leering drunk had staggered up behind me and treated my nostrils to a delightful cocktail of beer, body odour and roll-ups.

Just my luck he'll be sitting next to me on the plane, I thought. And guess what?

He wasn't.

04:00 – My appetite and purse relieved by a 5.35 euro

05:15 (Spanish time): Why the sky should be full of turbulence, I have no idea. I mean, you never get it on a train, in a car or on a boat.

We're halfway through the flight and the cabin is shakairport sandwich, I’m sitting ing as if it's got Parkinson's waiting for fight ZB679 to Disease. Get me down, I head skyward. I’ve got a row don't like this ride! of three seats to myself – for I can't even see the cabin some reason only half a crew. They must have put on planeful of other idiots have their parachutes when I wasbeen sufficiently motivated to n't looking and jumped out want to experience the joys 06:10 – We're down – but of the dawn skyrun. not out. The captain's calm Ittook me 30 years to come voice is tinged with cynicism. to terms with my fear of fly''We've got you here 15 ing. In fact, at one time I minutes early,'' he the couldn’t go near an aircraft groundstaff can't find any without a full hipflask of chocks to lock the wheels, so brandy in my belly. Even if I I'm afraid there will be a bit of was flying at breakfast time. a delay before you get off.’’

Welcome to Manchester....

I'd be soaring at 35,000

EFT - the new solution to your troubles CAN skin curb you offer

a gentle tap on the remove phobias, food cravings, help quit smoking and pain relief?

‘‘Yes, it can!”, insists Jennifer Rahman, an Emotional Freedom Techniques therapist promoting this revolutionary energy therapy which is fast gaining momentum in Spain.

Affectionately known as EFT, it has an impressive track record offering quick and permanent results in removing phobias, allergies, anxiety and panic attacks, food cravings, quitting smoking and pain relief.

Such is its high success

rate that many in the medical, dental, psychology and complementary therapy fields are now offering it as a standard service to clients.

In the UK, EFT is offered by the NHS as part of post-operative and rehabilitation programmes and in the treatment of mental health patients. GP surgeries and dental surgeries also include it as part of pain management programmes.

So what is EFT? It is a gentle tapping technique applied to specific acupressure points on the skin, which releases the build-up of tension, pressure and negative emotions in the body, thereby restoring and balancing energy flow or

‘chi’ within the body.

However, unlike acupuncture, EFT does not use needles. ‘’It also uses positive thoughts and affirmations to neutralise or short circuit any traumatic, stressful or anxiety based emotions which are the root cause of pain, phobias and addictions such as smoking”, says Jennifer, who is one of a small handful of EFT practitioners in Spain.

Many people have found instant relief with EFT, after spending lots of money and time with other therapies.

However, Jennifer makes it clear that EFT is not a replacement for medical treat-

ment - it is complementary.

But what makes EFT so special is that it is quick and results are long lasting. Many clients only require one session while others may need a few more, dependent on the complexity of the problem.

Jennifer explains: ‘’Clients do not have to wait to complete a series of sessions to notice the benefits. What’s more, I will be teaching them a self-help skill for life which makes it good value for your money! EFT is so safe that it can be used on children and even on animals.’’.

Experience EFT for yourself – and save money in the process! Jennifer is offering

Courier readers a FREE half hour consultation AND a 20% discount on any of her affordable EFT programmes, for a limited period only.

She also organises EFT workshops (minimum 5 people) with group discounts available. FREE demonstra-

tions are also on offer to charities and registered organisations within the Costa Blanca and Costa Calida areas.

To take up any of these offers, contact Jennifer Rahman on mobile 63 4358 310 or visit her website at www.lifemaxxinternational.com

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Friday, August 5, 2011

San Pedro Pergolas San Pedro Pergolas is situated in San Pedro del Pinatar. We specialise in bespoke made to measure summerhouses, pergolas, car ports and sheds.

Decking for private and commercial use e.g. around your pool areas and patios as well as commercial smoking areas and extended wooden patios for tables and chairs covered by pergolas if required.

We also offer a complete refurbishment service for cafes and bars from interior to exterior by our fully qualified shopfitting staff.

All your requirements are not only made to measure but priced accordingly. All the timber we use is specially treated and coloured for all different conditions on the Costa Blanca e.g. sun for pergolas and decking. Our decking is also covered against chlorine and colour depreciation.

For a free no obligation quotation and site visit please do not hesitate to contact us during office hours and we can assist you with any information you require and give you a competitive price for your pergola, decking, summerhouse or shed.

For further information please contact us between 9.00 am – 5.00 pm MondaySaturday on: Tel: 610 180 040 693 039 794 (Espanol) www.sanpedropergolas.es E-mail: info@sanpedropergolas.es

Sergi Rodriguez

BLAZING PADDLES Sergi goes solo in canoe marathon

By SALLY BENGTSSON SERGI Rodríguez set out on his canoe on June 11 with the idea of travelling down Spain’s Costa Brava from Argeles Sur Mer, a small town on the Spanish-French border.

His aim was to discover himself and to connect with the harmony of nature, after four years of hard study in Spain, Germany and the UK to gain an engineering degree.

He planned to canoe along the coast during the day and camp on remote beaches at night.

But when he reached Castellon, his planned destination, he couldn’t stop and carried on, full steam ahead, reaching Alicante last week. There he was welcomed with open arms, after 49 days’ rowing and a distance of 680 kilometres behind him.

The rucksack he carries in his canoe is full of mementoes and film rolls, fond memories of the people he has met along the way.

Sergi, born in Catalonia 27 years ago, finished his mechanical engineering degree in Germany and stayed there for four years, working and specialising in renewable energy and the environment.

His passion is nature, so, after years of study and work he decided he owed himself some down time and opted to disconnect from the rat race.

“I don’t believe happiness can be found in the money you have, or pretend to have, but in living in harmony with nature and with yourself,’’ he says with a smile. ‘‘This is what life gives us. Travelling along the coast, in the sea, it is easy to see how man has filled the whole area with buildings, and this damages the eco systems.’’

He carries in his canoe a tent, toiletries, some fishing equipment, camping gas, a book and a waterproof camera.

The money he saved when working, and the friendliness of the people he meets, keep him going.

“Whenever I arrive at a new place and explain my trip I am invited to people’s homes to have supper,” Sergi explains.

He is now considering rowing all the way to Tarifa, on the Costa del Sol. “I’d love to reach the Atlantic, maybe even reach Cadiz, learn Portuguese and go up the coast of Portugal to Galicia. My sister lives in San Sebastian, which wouldn’t be too far from Galicia. Only time will tell.”

Sergi has no sponsors, nor does he plan to make money from the trip. He writes a blog when he can get to a library to do so. He was given a T-shirt in Alicante because he had forgotten his own, and wasn’t allowed into the library without one.

Gaga ticket forgers arrested in Madrid POLICE in Madrid arrested five people on Tuesday in connection with the sale and distribution of forged tickets for concerts and bullfights, among them the sold-out Lady Gaga show in the capital's Palacio de Deportes last December.

Among those detained was the mastermind of the operation, a 24-year-old Madrid resident, whose apartment contained diverse apparatus for the falsification of tickets and forgeries for concerts by Shakira, Lady Gaga and bullfighting events.

The group's modus operandi was to obtain real tickets for events and then copy them onto official paper stamped with the logos of widely recognised businesses. The copies produced were very realistic, police said, and forged "on paper of very high quality." After the tickets had been produced, they were sold on third-party websites and then either delivered by hand or courier without means of refund.

For the Lady Gaga concert alone, 200 people were sold false tickets and reported by at least half of the victims in police stations across the capital. The haul for the forgers was worth up to 30,000 euros The five stand accused of fraud, falsification of documents and organised crime.

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Friday, August 5, 2011

The Mystic who clocked MY grandpa's most prized possession was his grandfather clock.

So it was sort of appropriate that at the precise moment the old man took his final breath the clock stopped, never to go again.

Family legend has it that when grandpa fled from persecution in his native Lithuania, he arrived in Britain with his beloved clock attached to his back with bits of old rope and strips of bedsheet.

Apparently, an immigration official observed that it might have been more convenient, and certainly a lot more comfortable, for grand-

my grandpa

pa to have invested in a pocket watch.

But I digress. Intrigued by the story of the joint demise of my grandpa and his clock, I decided that the occult might be involved in some way, so I went to consult a medium-clairvoyant.

Myrtle the Mystic ushered me into her front room, sat me down and asked what she could do for me.

'Ms Myrtle, I'm trying to establish contact with my grandpa,' I said.

'Hmm,' she said. 'You should have made an

appointment, you know.'

'I didn't think I had to,' I responded. 'In your line of work you should have known I was coming.'

Myrtle the Mystic shrugged, closed her eyes and fell silent. 'Have you got through to the other side?' I asked after a few tense minutes. 'No,' she replied. 'I always take a nap at this time in the afternoon.

'But wait a moment!' she gasped. 'Yes, yes, I can see your grandfather now. He is sitting on the sofa behind you, reading the racing tips.

'My goodness,' she went on. 'If what I see is happening in the future and your grandfather is picking winners, then I can get out of this business and go to live in Spain.'

I turned my head and sighed. 'Calm down, dear, that's my other grandpa you can see - the living one. He gave me a lift here.'

Myrtle the Mystic slumped back in her chair and went quiet again. Then she started to moan softly and her body began to quiver.

'Bad dream?' I yelled down her earhole.

She sat bolt upright and gripped my arm. 'I see a man with little legs and a big moustache! And I see a New York skyline!'

It was my turn to sit bolt upright and grip my other arm. 'That's him!' I shrieked.

'Before grandpa came to England he tried America after being told that the streets there were paved with gold.

'Sure enough, when he

got off the ship he saw a gold coin on the quayside.

He was about to pick it up when he thought: Sod it, I'll start on Monday.

'Anyway, it wasn't easy bending down with a grandfather clock strapped to his back.'

I was really getting excited. 'What's grandpa doing now?' I asked the medium.

Myrtle the Mystic looked puzzled. 'Why he's hopping around like a demented thing. I really don't know what he is trying to tell me.'

I turned my head and sighed again. 'Not the living grandpa. The dead one. The living one is just desperate for a wee but doesn't know where the facilities are.'

Things went downhill pretty quickly after t h a t .

Myrtle

t h e Mystic lost the signal, or whatever you call the energy thingy that connects you to the other side, while my living grandpa had to borrow a pair of the medium's bloomers to go home in after he disgraced himself. 'What a shambles,' I groaned

over a pint at my local.

'How's that, Dave?' asked the barman, who was also called Dave. 'And before you answer that, I notice that you're on your own in here yet again.'

'I know, Dave,' I whinged.

'I did invite the other two out for a drink but my living grandpa said he wouldn't dare enter a pub while wearing women's underwear and Myrtle the Mystic said she wouldn't consider leaving the house without her only pair of knickers on.'

'This is all most interesting, Dave,' sighed Dave the barman. 'But I

haven't a clue what you're going on about.'

The following weekend I was at Old Trafford with my mate Eric to watch our team, Manchester United, in action.

As the teams came out for the second half I brought up the subject of my brush with the occult. 'I tried to get in touch with the other side, you know.'

Eric looked at me puzzled. 'Why? Who do you know at Wolverhampton Wanderers?'

I explained about Myrtle the Mystic and my late grandpa. 'But forget it, Eric.

Just watch the football.'

Eric shook his head.

'How can I concentrate on the match when I can see how troubled you are.

'Anyway, my friend,' he advised me in gentle tones, 'You really shouldn't dabble in matters which are beyond the realm of human comprehension.'

Then he cupped his hands and bawled towards the pitch: 'Just like some of your decisions, ref! 'Also,' he whispered solicitously to me, 'By flirting with the supernatural you might inadvertently open up a can of worms.'

Then he cupped his hands again and shouted: 'Which is exactly what you would do, you useless ref, if you fancied some tinned spaghetti but didn't have your specs on. Get your eyes tested, you prat!'

'Incidentally,' said Eric softly, turning back to me.

'What was the cause of your grandpa's sad demise?'

'It was most untimely,' I said. 'He was walking across the hall past the grandfather clock when the bloody thing fell on him.'

Friday, August 5, 2011

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Friday, August 5, 2011

THE prestigious “Q” for quality flag was hoisted on Wednesday morning at Cala Capitan in Orihuela-Costa.

The ceremony was proudly perform by Councillor for Tourism Pedro Mancebo, the deputy mayor and municipal government speaker, assisted

by Bob Houliston.

Mr Mancebo travelled to Valencia to collect the coveted flags after seven of Orihuela Costa´s 11 beaches received the award.

Orihuela is now in second position in receiving the “Q” flags and has received the Eco flag as well as being awarded the most blue flags within the European Union.

“We are very proud to have received seven flags.

However, our goal for next year is 11 flags - one for each

Paid help at hand as Lynda steps up

Cala Capitan heads the Q on Orihuela flag day of Orihuela Costa´s beaches,” said Mr Mancebo.

The Councillor for Tourism also recognised and praised

the excellent work being carried out by the Red Cross workers on Orihuela Costa´s beaches.

HAH Help at Home have asked volunteer nurse practitioner Lynda Christopher to join them on a paid basis.

Lynda, an honours B.Sc graduate, has current validated British nursing registration and is legally registered with the relevant Spanish authorities.

She can provide health advice on a wide range of subjects due to her many years in secondary and primary care.

Lynda, who can be contacted on 633 673 034, has already formulated advice sheets which can be found on HAH’s website www.helpathome.es Some of the information is complemented by pictures and more information sheets

are in the pipeline.

HAH Help at Home planned to run down fund-raising activities during the summer as so many volunteers were away, or had family commitments.

Yet, two weeks ago, their volunteers clocked up a massive 163 hours of FREE care in the community.

In the past nine months, volunteers have helped over 60 clients, and are still actively involved with 17.

If you have a few hours to spare on an ad-hoc basis and would like to help to care for someone, please call Lesley on 968 134 978, Jackie (care services) on 968 575 231. or email helpathomespain@gmail.com.

Maria’s girls leave AECC €20,000 in the Pink!

A FINE year of fundraising reached its culmination for Maria and The Pink Ladies last week when Maria presented Pablo Enriquez, President of AECC in Alicante, with a cheque for almost €20,000.

Maria hands over the mammoth cheque to Pablo Enriquez

The event was a celebration of Maria’s determination to spread the word on breast cancer awareness and to raise funds in support of the AECC cancer screening programme.

This amount is in addition to more than €4,000 given to the Torrevieja branch of AECC earlier this year.

The evening presentation was attended by almost 90 of Maria’s supporters, all of A NEW study of foreigners whom must have gone home living in Orihuela has revethoroughly pleased with aled that more than half do Maria’s efforts and also with not intend to leave the area the fayre laid on by Fit4All in and can see themselves Punta Prima and the enterliving in the area fore the tainment provided by Suzi G. rest of their lives.

Those same supporters Some 61% of the immialso dug deep to raise over grants are living with a €400 for six-year-old cerebral partner and at least one palsy victim Riley Murray. child. It is thought that the Riley needs an operation in high standard of education America to help him walk so and school life are a major once again the amazing factor in why people chooMaria forgot her own troubles se not to leave.

MOTORISTS who park to help someone else.

Riley’s grandparents on access ramps in accepted the Almoradi are now facing gratefully money, raised through a raffines of up to 200 euros.

The new penalties came fle held on the evening, on into force on August 1 and his behalf.

More than half Orihuela immigrants ‘intend to stay for life’

TORREVIEJA’S department of Trade and Hospitality has launched a range of new promotional offers for businesses in the town.

More than 30 companies and shops will provide their customers with discount coupons during the summer, and in some cases until the end of the year.

The companies involved include restaurants, shoe stores, beauty salons, massage and nutrition shops, furniture stores, insurance agencies, tattoo parlours and car dealers etc.

Available The discounts range from 5% to 20%, although some outlets are offering up to 40 % discount.

Some 40,000 booklets of coupons have been distributed throughout the city.

The booklets are available at the offices of the Concejalia de Comercia y Hosteleria in the Plaza de la Constitucion (Old Town Hall building) from 8am to 2.30pm.

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on the first day no fewer than 430 increased fines were incurred - many of them repeat offenders.

Allmoradi council stress that they are not toughening the law for tax collection but simply so that people respect the rights of disabled citizens.

They say clear access ramps also make it easier for loading and loading of goods for businesses.

Big savings!

Torrevieja launches discount campaign

It’s viva Vicent... SUMMER FUN Helping heroes is FUN! A PACKED audience in the Iglesia de Moraira enjoyed more than 90 minutes of superb music performed by local classical guitarist Vicent Ballester in aid of Costa Blanca Samaritans and Caritas.

Featuring a programme of 19th and 20th century music, Ballester earned a standing ovation and played a string of encores.

The event raised over €500 for Samaritans, whose President Steve Ashley gave warm thanks to Felicitas, a member of the local community who organised the event.

HELP MURCIA MAR MENOR are holding a Summer Dance at the Port Restaurant, Los Urrutias on Friday August 19 at 7.30. The evening will consist of live music and a raffle. For just 12 euros you can enjoy this fun-filled evening and dinner. Tickets from Janice Clark on 968134355 or Gerry Sherry on 968371091 or by ringing the office on 968570059.

PLAYA Flamenca stages a Help for Heroes spectacular on Sunday August 7 (from 1pm) – with the action centred on Pablo’s International, Concierto’s, Clarke’s and Maggie’s Bar in Parque del Duque.

It promises to be a great day for all the family. Relax and enjoy live entertainment performed by local artistes, TKO Radio, a kids Disco, bouncy castle, face painting, a magician, Flamenco dancing and a Zumba fitness demonstration.

There will be a BBQ and outdoor bar, plus stalls and mini market along with great raffle prizes. If you want to bring along your stall can help in anyway, please contact Jill on 686767890 or Cheryl on 666943934.

Friday, August 5, 2011

ON YER BIKE! TIM and Doreen Cooper, who run the Coopers Arms restaurant on Dona Pepa, Quesada, hit upon a novel way to support the Mediterranean Cruise Raffle Prize donated by David’s Coachtrips SL, on behalf of the Age Concern CBS Charity.

They donated a brand new bike and raffled it off lamongst their customers last weekend, with the further promise that all who bought a one-euro ticket for the bike raffle would also be entered in the Cruise Raffle when it is drawn on Sunday.

The impromptu raffle raised 115 euros and the bike was won by Quesada resident John Lambert.

John was really thrilled to win the bike and is now hoping his luck holds in the 'big' one, with a chance to ride his bike in places like Florence, Rome, Monaco etc., The Cruise includes all transfers etc.,

David’s winning ticket to ride

plus 200 euros spending money. The draw will take place at the Coachtrips Offices in San Luis at 1.30pm this Sunday and the winner will be notified as soon as possible.

The winner’s name will also be displayed on the Coachtrips website and in the local press.

On behalf of Age Concern CBS a massive thank you to all who supported this Raffle and the best of luck to everyone.

Although the Charity Walk-In-Centre is closed for the summer reak until September 5, all telephone calls will continue to be monitored.

DOUG KNOTT

Variety at the double THE Variety Show Group and the La Marina Tappers raised over €500 in two shows in July - and there are more to come.

It was a full house at both Catorce in Benijofar and Manolo in Lo Marabu.

Catorce owners Martyn and Paul are planning a Craft Fair outside their restaurant in Benijofar and Francisco Lidon of Manolo is hosting a Fashion Show with Louise Brandley of Looking Good Boutique in September.

Meanwhile, things are hotting up in Imanyo bar and restaurant in Daya Nueva, who have adopted the Paul Cunningham Nurses charity until their

28th anniversary celebrations in mid August. With their Charity Dog Racing Night last week they have already raised over €200 and on Sunday they had a ‘bake and buy’ cake sale with another one next Sunday.

There are lots of other activities such as quiz nights and bingo nights between now and August 13 when a Fantastic BBQ event will celebrate the anniversary. For directions and more details, call Dave on 633 366 701 For more Paul Cunningham Nurses Events please look on www.paulsunningham nurses.com

MABS FABS! MABS CANCER SUPPORT GROUP - MURCIA EVENTS FOR AUGUST and SEPTEMBER 2011 SAT Aug 6 - FUN DAY – Sierra Golf (11am - 5pm). A day for all the family, with games, a variety of stalls and food. For more information contact Marian on 968 969 642 Sat Aug 20 - CARIBBEAN NIGHT – Lara’s Bar, Camposol Sector A – (8pm). Sorry, sold out.

Sat Sept 3 - FUN DAY - Iceland Overseas, San Javier. Check our website and Press.

Wed Sept 7 – VOLUNTEERS MEETING , Las Claras, Los Narejos (11.15am). If you uwould like to become a volunteer, come along and see what we do. Further info from Bev on 634 362 823 Wed Sept 7 - TABLE TOP SALE, Time Out, San Javier (2-4pm). Come along and grab a bargain! Surplus stock from MABS Centre clothes, bric-a-brac and books Sat Sept 10 – PAMPER DAY, Tara’s Retreat (10.30 am - 3 pm). For those affected by cancer. The day includes yoga, make-up, mosaics, massage, a talk on nutrition and exercise, plus a light lunch. Numbers are limited so, if you know someone who would benefit from a pamper day, please call 693 824 511.

Thurs Sept 15 - SPONSORED HEAD SHAVE , The Arches, Los Alcázares (7.30pm for 8pm). Buffet and entertainment with Suzy G. This event will be held outside.

Tickets only 5€ including buffet - available at MABS CANCER CENTRE or from Malcolm on 968 135 346. All proceeds to MABS Murcia.

Fri Sept 16 - SHARE & CARE GROUP, MABS Cancer Centre, San Javier (11am).

An informal get-together for anyone affected by cancer. Come along for a coffee and a chat. For more information call Anne on 693 795 247 Thurs Sept 22 - BARN DANCE & BBQ, La Zona, Calle Penelope, Los Alcázares (6pm).

Fun, food and dancing - something a little bit different! This event will be held outside.

Tickets available at MABS CANCER CENTRE or from Lynne on 968 437 596/ 617 791

425 Every Saturday – BOOK SALE, The Arches Restaurant, Los Alcázares (10am - 1pm, weather permitting). The MABS Book Stall is a regular feature at The Arches Restaurant on a Saturday and is popular with book-lovers from Los Alcázares and surrounding areas. Browse the stall and enjoy a coffee or bargain breakfast while you choose your books.

Future events include MABS Race for Life in Mazarrón on October 23 and in Los Alcázares on November 13, a Murder Mystery Night on October 28 and many more, so keep watching the press or visit our website www.mabsmurcia.com For further details, please call 634 362 826 MABS EVENTS IN FORTUNA (MURCIA NORTH EAST) - Every Other Monday Sew'n'So's Sewing Group with Jan Gough (Urb. Las Kalendas, Fortuna, 2pm) First Tuesday of month - Auction at Bob`s Bar (Carretera Pinoso, Fortuna 2pm).

Tuesdays and Thursdays – “Pick, Try, Choose, Buy & Donate” second hand goods store (10.30 am to 12noon). Apartamentos Maruja, across the cycle path, opposite Las Palmeras, Baños de Fortuna.

Second Wed of Month - Fortuna Ladies’ Luncheon Club (1pm).

Las Palmeras Restaurant, Baños de Fortuna Last Wed of Month - MABS Fortuna Meeting (11.30 am). La Carcelera, Urb Las Kalendas. Fortuna.

For further information on Fortuna events, please contact: mabsmurciane@gmail.com MAKE TIME TO HELP OTHERS Do you want to make a difference? Got some time to spare? Become a MABS volunteer. Call 634 362 823 now. Email: info@mabsmurcia.com or visit our website www.mabsmurcia.com

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Friday, August 5, 2011

LABOUR OF GLOVE How Sooty taught me to hate PM Wilson

A COUPLE of my friends groaned in the most painful way, akin to a castrated warthog, when I told them recently that I’d be writing about politics in a new column for this newspaper.

Fortunately I believed this not to be a comment about my writing abilities, but a sign of an ever-increasing apathy about the political elite of any country of any shade of colour.

The facts that we can’t ignore are that politics is life - and to use the famous quote from a French philosopher, “in a democracy we get the government we deserve”.

My experience in political campaigning, and in covering elections, is that the people who moan the most are the ones

favourite glove puppet using his water pistol on Harry Corbett.

I then took to reading every newspaper to learn more about this gravel voiced Yorkshireman, as I started my personal crusade to get revenge for his crass action of having Sooty removed from the TV schedules.

I remain convinced to this very day that Sooty’s fans were responsible for Wilson’s shock election defeat in 1970, but I’ll always thank him for what his devaluation statement did in making me a political animal for the rest of my life!!

Cameron tightrope Politicians are experts at self-preservation and changing their minds, and there’s been no better and nauseating example of this than over the Murdoch hacking affair.

The majority of MPs have spent their careers shoving their heads up the posterior of the News International papers, in order to curry favour and gain what they felt would be some endorsements somewhere down the line.

This was frankly close to corruption, and you have to hand it to backbenchers like Tom Watson and Chris Bryant for their tireless efforts in asking countless awkward questions over a long period of time, whilst their colleagues sat in silence, or even jeered them.

Then, with a whole deck of disclosures (skilfully co-ordinated by Watson!), starting with the tapping of Milly Dowler’s phone, the House of Commons staged the biggest U-turn in its history.

I wet myself laughing watching MP after MP falling over

DAVID CAMERON: One in the eye

HAROLD WILSON: Evil memories from my childhood

who can’t be bothered to make a visit to the ballot box on polling day.

I’ve always enjoyed watching and covering the twisting and turnings of the political machinery in the UK, but learnt very early on that everything has to be taken with a pinch of salt, or perhaps more accurately a lorry load of Saxa.

Anyway, that’s dealt with the business of how we managed to name this column!

For most people, an interest in politics starts in their teenage years, but I was way ahead of the pack, when as an eight-year-old back in 1967, I developed an obsession with the subject within a few fateful teatime minutes.

It was a Sunday, and I burst into an uncontrollable torrent of tears when my ten minutes of Sooty had been cancelled to make way for a statement on the devaluation of the pound by the Prime Minister, Harold Wilson. That was it, and I had an instant hatred of this evil man for depriving me of my

SOOTY AND HARRY CORBETT: Show was cancelled

straight jealousy that the Cam holiday is costing £10,000 paid out of the personal family coffers?

Blair’s hangout Past Prime Ministers often seemed to take vacations that mirrored their personalities. So the upper-class toff Sir Alec Douglas-Home would go grouse shooting in Scotland; the lonely Edward Heath would go sailing in command of his

TONY BLAIR: Holiday headache

yacht, Morning Cloud; Harold Wilson would take his pipe to the Scilly Isles; the domineering Margaret Thatcher would stride ahead of the Press Pack in the French/Swiss Alps to show who was in charge; and Tony Blair would spend as if there was no tomorrow, like heading off to Egypt, or having an Italian holiday, courtesy of his gigolo friend, Silvio Berlusconi.

Perhaps Mr. Blair will need to spend his summer vacation this year working out what he’s going say over his actions in Iraq, as the long-awaited Hutton Report is set to hang him out to dry.

By the way, my favourite holiday-maker was the former Labour cabinet minister, Margaret Beckett, who I got to know well professionally over the years. There’s every chance that she’s probably off somewhere in her caravan with her devoted husband Leo, perhaps to France, which is one of their favourite spots.

She was rather taken aback a few years ago when news of her passion for caravanning hit the national media and generated some jokey headlines. As an old-fashioned unionbacked MP, her vacation choice was right on the money, and I can guarantee you that she never even claimed for a Calor Gas refill on her expenses.

Your round, Ken

themselves in order to knife the behaviour of the Murdoch empire, which only weeks ago they were so keen to defend at all costs.

Thank heavens that the summer recess came when it did to stop this sickly display of hypocrisy. But you know there will be more to come, and I just have the feeling that the short-sighted hiring of Andy Coulson might be still be a career-ender for David Cameron.

I’d love to meet the genius at the British Travel Agents Association, ABTA, who wasted money in finding out what MPs are doing for their summer holidays. The top line is that 42 per cent are heading off abroad, with David Cameron sharing a villa in Tuscany with a couple of families. Cam has already hit the headlines for not tipping in a local café when he bought just two coffees. We, of course, all tip generously when we just buy a couple of drinks over here, don’t we? I take it that the journalists who are hiding in various Tuscan nooks have generous expense accounts to help the local economy of Florence and will tip at every opportunity!

You can tell that the silly-season of page fillers has started when inconsequential rubbish like this appears, or is it just

Most politicians stay mute on their summer plans but can I suggest a Fitness Boot Camp for Eric Pickles; a driving holiday for Chris Huhne; a trip down memory lane to Alton Towers for William Hague (I can‘t forget that ridiculous photo-opportunity over a dozen years ago to show us that the balding leader was hip!); and a trip to a beer festival with Ken Clarke, who is partial to a pint or two of the good stuff.

Now Uncle Ken is one fellow who is worth bumping into on your hols, and according to my friends, he’s good for standing the first round.

KEN CLARKE: Cheers and booze

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Friday, August 5, 2011

FROM THE PRESS:

FRANCO’S BIRTHDAY WINS ELECTION VOTE Man, 74, gored to death in his own home A 74-YEAR-OLD man has died last weekend after being gored in the neck by a bull in his own home.

The young animal escaped from a corral which had been erected for the fiestas in the town of Lodosa, Navarra. It pushed through the victim’s front door and attacked the man inside before reportedly returning to the corral.

The victim, Félix de Luis Morentin, lived in San Sebastián, but spent long periods in the village where he was born Los Alcazares municipal treasury is short of €600,000 to pay town-hall workers’ July salaries.

Mayor Anastasio Bastida revealed a balance as low as €30,000 and in a bid to generate more income is urging residents of to pay their property tax (IBI), which is due by the end of September.

If enough residents pay early it will resolve many of the problems facing the new government.

The municipal government’s total debt is €29m, €4m of which are unrecognised bills, many dating back to the year 2,000.

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THE date has finally been set for the Spanish general election, and it’s to be sooner rather than later.

Prime Minister José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero ended months of speculation last Friday by announcing an early election, arguing that with the economic recovery under way, the country is ready for the poll.

The date set is November

By SALLY BENGTSSON 20, (anniversary of General Franco’s death), four months quarter as one of the reasons before the end of the current for calling the early poll."The government's mandate in path is clear, that is why the moment has come to March.

Zapatero said he would announce the electoral The incoming make the official announce- calendar. ment and dissolve parliament government will be responsion September 26. He added ble for the approval of the that the announcement of the 2012 state budget.”

But prior to that, Zapatero election date would dispel doubts and help the country added, the current governfocus on the key economic ment plans to approve a decree introducing new meachallenges facing it.

"That way, the debate sures to ensure that the budwon't revolve around early get deficit target is met, and elections, something the PP the structural reform proparty have been bringing up gramme continues.

The minority Socialist almost on a daily basis."

The prime minister pointed government needed the supto the improvement in port of minority parties to employment in the second pass the budget. The decree will include amendments to

PAST HIS PRIME: Zapatero ponders the future

corporate tax, cuts in spending on pharmaceuticals and employment-creating measures.

Popular Party leader Mariano Rajoy welcomed the "good news." He said the elections would give the country the "necessary drive" to leave behind the economic crisis and help restore confidence in the country.

Other reactions were

varied across the political spectrum. Rosa Díez, leader of the Unión, Progreso y Democracia (UPyD) said it was ‘’about time."

In Extremadura, the United Left (IU) coalition said that Zapatero "was trying to save" what little the Socialists have left after their devastating defeat in the May 22 regional and local elections.

The news was also welco-

90 limit on one-lane roads

The DGT Central Traffic Authority chief Pere Nav arro considers it would has proposed a reduce se to 110 kph was bro d 90kph be simpler and ught in on easier for drivers to speed limit on Spain’s network of understand motorways earlier this year, via a if the limit was brought secondary roads, where more than down to 90 across the board, as is reform of Spain’s Traffic Regulation.

75% of fatal traffic accide nts occur. the case in France and Por THE Guardia Civil have Some 1,331 of the 1,730 tugal. recovepeople The proposal has been red more than 9,000 arc killed in traffic accidents last gre ete haeolod year lost positively by road safety associa- gical relics from a gang of 12 loo their lives on roads with just ters one lane tions, as a me asure which will help to arrested in Valencia. in each direction. sav e lives.

The limit currently varies Many of the items rec overed are between It’s understood that the DG 90 and 100 kph depending coin T hop s from different periods of es upon the the new limit history can be approved in the and are width of the hard shoulder, of great importance, both but DGT same way as histhe temporary decreatorically and scientifically.

l

med by the business community which had been clamouring for elections.

"The prime minister has taken the right decision," said Francisco González, chairman of BBVA, Spain's second biggest bank. "Spain needs a strong government to take decisions that place it once again at the level of the most important countries in Europe."

THE FUTURE THE governing Socialists have cut the Popular Party's lead in the polls by three percentage points after Alfredo Pérez Rubalcaba announced his candidacy for prime minister, according to a survey released on Wednesday.

If the elections were to be held today, the PP would win with 43.1% to 36% for the Socialists, the state-owned Centre for Sociological Studies (CIS) said.

Of those interviewed, 81.5% said they have little or no confidence in Zapatero.

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Friday, August 5, 2011

HOME AND AWAY

£300m cocaine haul biggest found in UK SIX people were arrested after a record £300 MILLION haul of cocaine was seized on a yacht.

A total of 1.2 tons of the 90 per cent pure Class A drug were discovered hidden inside the 65ft pleasure cruiser following a six-day search.

The cocaine was packed into a specially-designed compartment beneath the bathing platform. It’s the largest load of hard drugs ever found in Britain, officials from the UK Border Agency said.

The raid on The Louise in Southampton came after French cops were told the drugs were on the £1million yacht while it was in the Caribbean in May. The haul is understood to have come from Venezuela in South America -

The Sun where it is thought to have been put on to the vessel.

Daily Mirror

The boat was then tracked as it made its way from the Caribbean to Holland via Southampton. Officials swooped while the yacht was moored in Britain.

The drug was 90 per cent pure while the average purity of cocaine seized at the UK border is 63 per cent. And it’s thought to be worth up to £300m on the streets.

Six men aged 27 to 44 were arrested over the raid in June. They were all nabbed during morning raids in Holland.

A total of £87,300, two Harley Davidson motorcycles, two firearms, a silencer and Ecstasy were also seized.

Daily Mail

93% OF CHILDREN AGED 11 HAVE A MOBILE PHONE NEARLY every 11-year-old in Britain now owns a mobile phone, according to research released today.

A staggering 93 per cent of 11 to 20-year-olds own a mobile handset, of which 23 per cent are expensive smartphones like Blackberrys or iPhones.

The research comes amid warnings that letting children engage with too many electronic devices could damage their health.

Experts at Bristol and Loughborough universities said the use of multiple electronic devices leads to a sedentary lifestyle, which can increase the risk of obesity and mental health problems The latest study, from T-Mobile, showed that bills paid by parents are expected to rise over the next six months with the summer holidays being peak times for over-expenditure.

Four in ten of the 11 to 20-year-olds admitted they used their phones substantially more to talk and text friends during the summer holidays. . Tim Dowling, vice president of T-Mobile propositions, said: "Parents are striving to keep their teens happy with the latest phones - but the ‘bank of mum and dad’ is getting drained in the meantime."

Three Brits killed in Jamaica minibus collision

UK Border Agency officers found the drugs in a specially built compartment

Milly killer in ‘slap’ fury cost taxpayers LEVI Bellfield has already . aid al £4million in leg is demanding Now Milly Dowler’s killer ion after a sat pen com up to £30,000 inmate. minor assault by a fellow sparked fury has ve His outrageous mo ieve a triple bel o wh rs gne pai among cam ers’ cash pay tax murderer should not get p”. sla a for “being given killer’s family A source close to the exactly where ily fam said: “Levi has told is on a carat tha and nt spe it he wants s. tive van for him and his rela

Collision

Miss Rawlinson's 25-yearDaily Mirror old daughter, named locally as Josie, from Windermere, his appeals “He sincerely believes and l sfu ces was injured in the collision suc be l wil against conviction and is in a serious but stable freedom. his oy enj to out get l he wil h wit n bee e condition in Jamaica. Her hav n’t uld “He said he sho partner, a 22-year-old man en him a slap. giv e hav ld cou o wh anyone from Windermere, suffered t outside one of The attack happened jus minor injuries. on. pris the in s om the bathro and knocked Mr Bamford's 15-year-old “Two men recognised him pital hos to son from Brighton, named nt we He bit. him about a locally as Owen, also receis to his face, but cut few a had he e aus bec ved minor injuries. pretty tame.’’ nothing serious. It was A fourth person, Talei Jones, a close family friend from Canada, was also killed in the crash at around 12.10am on Sunday, Daily Express Cumbria Constabulary said.

In a statement issued and is thought to have reached as far north as Staffordshire and possibly as far west as through the force, a family member said: "We are Pembrokeshire.

Now members of the public are being deeply saddened by the loss asked to report sightings of the disease to of our family. ‘‘They will be greatly mishelp the Zoological Society of London and the University of Oxford chart its spread. sed. Please respect our wisThe virus creates wart-like lesions which hes at this time to be left can be grey, pinkish, red or yellow, particu- alone to come to terms with larly on the head around the eyes and beak. our grief."

GARDEN BIRDS FACING PLAGUE GARDEN birds are facing a plague that leaves them covered with tumours, experts have warned.

Avian pox has infected great tits for the first time and is spreading across the country. It causes lesions which can prevent birds from feeding properly and make them vulnerable to predators.

It was already known in wood pigeons and house sparrows in the south east. But it has now been found in great tits in Oxfordshire

THREE members of a British family have been killed in a road crash in Jamaica, police have said.

The family, mainly from Windermere, Cumbria, were travelling in a minibus which was in collision with a pick-up truck between Kingston and Montego Bay in the early hours of Sunday.

Kathleen Rawlinson, 45, of Windermere, her ex-partner Gary Bamford, 49, of Ludlow, and Mr Bamford's daughter, Caisie Muller, 17, of Brighton, all died.

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Friday, August 5, 2011

THE INBETWEENERS SO YOU WANT TO SPEAK SPANGLISH DID you know that Spanglish is an officially recognised language which is widely spoken in parts of America by some of the second generation Latin American children?

And if you have been living in Spain for a few years, you might find that your children do exactly the same, speaking a mixture of both languages depending on the circumstances.

There is no doubt that exposure to a second language at an early age is extremely beneficial for children. Whilst adults struggle to find the correct word or phrase and feel awkward and embarrassed if their pronunciation is wrong, children seem to pick up the language effortlessly without even trying.

In addition, there is evidence to show that bilingual children have superior reading and writing skills in both languages as well as better analytical, social and academic skills so there are certainly plenty of reasons to encourage their bilingualism.

Nevertheless, many of us worry about our children forgetting their own language and with our own poor linguistic skills feel helpless to support them as parents so what can we do and how can we counteract the disadvantages?

Delay When children learn a second language, especially from very early years, it can delay their overall speech. Whilst this can be a worry to parents, all children will catch up with their peers and the delay is only a matter of months.

You might also worry that older children are not learning the language at all because they are not speaking it to you.

This is quite common as children tend to speak to you in your first language, thus as they know you are English, they will speak to you in English. However, if you happen to overhear them talking to Spanish friends you are likely to be bowled over by the fluency and speed in which they can talk.

This is where the Spanglish comes in. Children learning two languages will often move from one to the other mixing the two up. This tendency generally finishes as children build up a bigger vocabulary. Bilingual children also have an advantage – if they cannot think of the correct word in

to play with other Spanish children.

In the second month, they will start to adjust and will be able to say a few basic words and phrases. And in the third month and beyond, they will start to become more accustomed to the situation, will be making friends and gradually catching up with their peers.

Reservations about immersion English, they can say it in Spanish.

Effort Perhaps the biggest drawback for parents in having bilingual children is the extra effort involved. Like any other skill, language learning is a long-term investment. Children need to build up their skill little by little and work at it on a regular basis. When they are out of school on their holidays for example, it is important to find ways to boost their second language and ensure that they maintain it. Gradually, things do get easier so if you can keep your eye on the long term objective, you can´t go far wrong.

Language immersion at school Whether your child goes to a Spanish school or bilingual school, they will be exposed to the Spanish language.

Either way, hearing Spanish being spoken by a variety of people will boost their language skills no end and fast track them to bilingualism. Children will learn to speak Spanish at a far quicker rate and their motivation to learn will be accelerated if they feel they need to communicate with Spanish friends.

What to expect from immersion into Spanish school In the first month, everything is new, children may not be able to communicate even the most simplest of requests such as asking to use the toilet and may not understand very simple sentences. They are likely to show strong resistance to change, they may be tearful and reserved and not wanting

PLUTO IS A PAPA! AT THIS moment, a spacecraft is aimed straight at Pluto, heading out toward the edge of the Solar System at speeds faster than 50,000 miles an hour.

The New Horizons probe was launched in 2006. But even at that blistering speed, it won't arrive until 2015.

Mission scientists don't want to waste a moment when it finally gets there, so they've been scouting ahead with the Hubble Space Telescope to see if there's anything unusual to photograph.

They are also looking for any hazards to avoid -rings, for example, which could damage or even destroy a space probe that smashed through them at high speed.

The image that popped

The Hubble Space Telescope shows Pluto's newly discovered fourth moon, P4. up in Hubble's gallery on June 28 revealed that Pluto has a moon nobody knew about. The moon

will be known as P4 until it is given a real name. It joins Charon, discovered by a U.S. Naval

Observatory telescope in 1978; and Nix and Hydra, spotted by Hubble, in 2005.

There's a good reason P4 escaped notice until now: its small size makes it all but impossible to see from Earth.

"We always knew it was possible there were more moons out there," says Alan Stern of the Southwest Research Institute in Boulder.

Stern is the principal investigator of the New Horizons mission and a co-discoverer of the new moon. "Lo and behold, there it was," Stern says.

Even though New Horizons will be flashing

It is fair to say that immersion does not suit all children or parents for that matter. One of the main issues facing parents is whether they can accept the cultural differences of the country. Spanish schools have a very different approach to learning and discipline which can have an effect on children. Whilst some children will find it easy to adapt, others will find these small cultural differences much harder to accept than the language barrier.

However the two things combined might be a step too far for some youngsters.

Secondary school is a different kettle of fish again. High school students are likely to find it harder to study in an unfamiliar language at the same time as absorbing the cultural differences. Not to mention leaving friends and family behind in the UK and getting used to a whole new life. For all of these pupils, a bilingual school might be a fairer option.

Whatever your final decision, ensuring children are exposed to both languages is extremely important. Buying books and DVDs in both Spanish and English can help and make sure you encourage daily reading. Use of different websites can also help enormously and having access to both Spanish and English TV is a perfect way for kids to help their own learning and understanding.

A final word Having said all of this, kids living over here will learn Spanish because they need to communicate with friends so the most important thing is to let them do it at their own pace.

Allow their absorption of the language to be a completely naturally process and trust that your child will achieve regardless of where you are in the World.

Hubble Space Telescope reveals a new moon past Pluto at blinding speed, the total encounter will last for weeks. "Lots of people think we're going to go by on a Tuesday or something," says Stern.

But New Horizons will start getting better images than the Hubble -- and thus the best ever taken of Pluto and its moons— starting ten weeks before the flyby, and lasting ten weeks afterward. The probe's closest approach will happen on July 14, 2015.

Tiny P4 needs a real name. "We're tossing around some ideas," says Mark Showalter of the SETI Institute in Mountain View, California.

"But the name has to come out of Greek mythology associated with

Hades and the underworld."

The International Astronomical Union has to formally approve the names of heavenly objects. There are strict guidelines for what's permitted. Underworld myths are the rule for moons of Pluto.

The IAU is also responsible for the decision in 2006 to demote tiny Pluto, just one-half the size of Earth's moon, to the status of "dwarf planet."

Showalter says he doesn't think it matters what you call Pluto. "Think of bonsai trees," he says.

"The fact that they're so small is what makes them interesting. So if you don't like the term 'dwarf planet,' just think of Pluto as a bonsai planet."

Friday, August 5, 2011

19

editor@thecourier.es Workshop slur so offensive COURIER POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

I WOULD like to respond to a letter from Rosalind Eastland in last week’s Courier.

Oh Rosalind, you really didn’t read or understand what the workshop was all about!

You say you are interested in clairvoyance and the supernatural. The workshop wasn’t about either, so why did you go?

The Roman Catholic lady you mentioned was not upset. You conveniently forgot to mention that she left the room to have a ciggy at her own request. You also forgot to say that she came back in and enjoyed the rest of the day. I know as I spoke to her.

It seems you have no idea of learning - you just took it as a joke. As you stated, you played along.

Why should you be shocked that two women felt (not saw) as you put it, a male presence as towards the end of that I gave a clear message to the lady. I said there was a male presence and I gave her clear evidence of survival. She recognised it as her father.

So sorry but you are so wrong. Come on now, if you were so upset or so shocked, why did you stay? Your money would have been refunded, no problem, no one forced you to stay.

els we function on as human beings, discovering our own beauty and recognising our own uniqueness.

She suggests in her letter this can be harmful. I don’t have the time or wish to correct her deliberate misinterpretation of the day but would like In reply to Rosalind Eastland’s let- the reader to have a rough idea of the ter the advert for this event read THE qualities mentioned at the workshop REAL YOU and went on to explain which she said she did not understand. what the workshop entailed.

These being PURITY, TOLERThe three different levels we all function on - the psychic, the mediu- ANCE, KINDNESS, COURTESY, mistic and spiritual being - were cov- PATIENCE, HONESTY, SYMPATHY, ered during the course of the day. The RESPECT, WISDOM and UNDERlady misinterpreted the advert; she STANDING. If she had trouble understanding said in her letter she had never these words, she only had to ask and attended a psychic workshop before help would have been given. but decided to go along, I myself find all these words selfLearning explanatory. Also, the subjects covIssues Why? It needs to be made clear to ered were the different levels we funcHow do you know lots of her that this was not a psychic learn- tion on ie.the personality, emotional, folk have deep issues - are ing day as her letter suggested. I intuition and intelligence. you psychic? Also, how do have never come across this phrase These words are also self-explanayou know the money collectbefore. tory. If she did not understand, again ed is earnings? Did you ask The workshop embraced all the lev- she only had to ask. what happens to the money She closed her letter and collected? Is it for charity, or comments by hoping she did given to the poor? NO! You not offend any genuine peojust assumed. ple. Rosalind, we are all genI am a kind, genuine and uine people with many years’ compassionate person who experience. I am sorry you did attend and am very did not receive anything posoffended and upset. If you I AM not normally one to be petty but itive from the day and hope had such issues, you should what I experienced yesterday you find what you are have talked to the lady taking (Friday July 29) made my blood boil. searching for. the workshop. But instead, Two weeks ago I went to the Town husband and I were in this area Local officer as much as wink an Also, find someone who is eye.

Is it one rule for one and one again, this time at the bank, to see a off you went.

Hall at Playa Flamenca with my husholding a PSYCHIC learning Then this article appears band. As I was only collecting infor- vehicle parked a little further down rule for another? day, whatever that means.

Granted we should not have waiwith some sort of picture. mation from the tourist office he from where my husband had waited.

I also hope you find love, However, this vehicle was totally ted where we did, but my husband What on earth was that pic- dropped me off just outside across tolerance, respect and kindcould have driven our car away blocking the disabled access to the ture, by the way, it was hor- from Bankinter. ness within your life. To delibrid! If you attend workshops I went into the Town Hall and my Town Hall and the driver was away immediately. erately misinterpret what the This careless car driver only had with that attitude you will husband waited in the car, admitted- into the Town Hall without a glance workshop was about would his padron or residencia in mind (or over his shoulder. never get enlightenment. ly he had parked across two parked suggest the qualities menwhatever he was doing at the Town As I mentioned above I am not I met you for the first time cars but he was in the vehicle.Two tioned have not been shown and would not have believed policemen from the Town Hall told normally petty but yesterday I wai- Hall) with no thought to people in to you. wheelchairs or families with you needed to write such a him he should drive away and park ted a quarter of an hour, much to my Trouble piece. But then, you got your correctly and that it was not allowed husband’s dismay, just to see what pushchairs. The saying ’’I’m all right Jack“ comes to mind.

I bear you no malice and full name in the paper so well to park or wait there. would happen. done you.

ELSIE BELLHOUSE wish you peace in your life.

In this time the driver did not reYou can imagine my surprise MAUREEN CURTIS today (photo attached) when my appear nor did a passing Policia La Zenia You were not asked to communicate with a guide. You admitted in your letter you decided to play along, which you did with no respect for the other people there.

If you decide to attend I AM writing to let you know that on Saturday and presenter Steve Austin said he would try another workshop, go with August 13 we are holding a charity leg-wax to to get a few of the guys from the office to try and raise lots of money at the Easy Horse come along and do it. The leg waxing will be an open mind, not preconCare Centre. from the knee down, and take about 20 min- ceived ideas. Who knows, you might receive enlightenBasically, as I‘m sure you know, little Faith utes to do, so she can do three in one hour. (pictured) and all the other horses at the cenWe will be printing sponsor forms, so if any- ment. It is obvious you have tre need as much support as they can get, body wants one they can contact me, Abbie, never meditated as this would help you discover and need as many ideas for charity fund rais- on 965008093/ 682102680. ing events. So a few weeks back, I sat here By coming along to the centre on August some of the qualities you are and thought it might a laugh to get all the men 13, people can visit the famous Faith, and all not aware of within yourself.

Five mediums attended to get their legs/chest waxed. the other horses. On the day, there will be I have already asked my friend who is a food and drink there to buy, such as burgers, the workshop, all genuine. beautician at Tonetastic (Montesinos) to do it, chips, hotdogs and coke, Sprite, beer, water None of them had any comand she is more than happy. All we need now etc. plaints about the content of is for people to put their names down!

ABBIE ( event organiser, Easy Horse the workshop.

I have asked the men at Vibe Radio to do it, Care Rescue Centre) PATRICIA FORSTER

BLOCKHEAD: Driver straddles disabled bay

I TRUST you will print this letter so that those who read it will be given an unbiased account of the psychic workshop held at Manolo’s Restaurant on July 21.

PARKING MAD!

Why the double standards?

Fancy a leg-wax for charity, fellas?

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Friday, August 5, 2011

Friday, August 5, 2011

21

Do you have a SPECIAL OFFER that you want EVERYONE to know about?

Call the office on: 96 672 6437 Email: office@thecourier.es Or get in touch with your sales rep.

22

Friday, August 5, 2011

23

Friday, August 5, 2011

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then.

Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: David has been having some trouble with the FIXED: Peter was having problems with Windows Live free email provider GoNuts4Free – it’s a common story. Photo Gallery.

I want to pick your brains, I have a laptop, Acer Aspire 5740G, An error code 0x80010108 appears when I try to use a memory card in the laptop, or opening Windows Live Photo Gallery, What does this mean? How can I overcome this problem? Trust you will have an answer to this problem. Peter

Q

Could I now ask you if you know anything re the subject matter of GoNuts4Free?

We have had an email service from them for about 5 years now and suddenly about 2 weeks ago all service stopped. When I eventually got through to what purported to be their help line - 902 274 413. I was told that they had decided early last year that this would now become a subscription service and had advised everybody and given them 18 months to change.

Well, we did receive this advice and when I questioned why their web was still offering a free service the man said he could not comment as he was only a help line engineer. Then when I asked if the service could be reactivated he said that he would need personal details etc. to set up an account for the monthly direct debit. That started some alarm bells ringing and I postponed a decision and then tried to send a 'contact us ' message to gonuts using the gmail service but the url was not available.

My main query is do gonuts know that their service appears to have been high jacked and if you can offer any advice on how to contact them to see if we can legally reactivate out account with them. David

Q

Hi David, I have contacted GoNuts4Free and they have confirmed that they have informed all their customers that they have indeed stopped their free service for any users that are no longer using their dial up service, they found that “approx 85% of the free email accounts were actually either not being used, registered for spamming, sending fraud emails, and other related concerns”. GoNuts4Free are a commercial organisation and they provided a free email service because they were generating revenue from the dial up service that they provided, it was a great service, however nowadays most people don’t use dial up and therefore its unreasonable to expect GoNuts4Free to continue to provide a free email service when they commercially get nothing out of it.

They have given their users what most people would consider a very generous amount of time to either sign up for their paid for service, continue to use the free service via dial up or to find an alternative email service - the instructions for this change were sent out to their users in January 2010. The “paid for” service is just 6€ per month and by signing up for this users can keep their current email address and continue to use the service via their broadband connection. I think that in your case something that has clearly not helped is that the contact page on the GoNuts4Free website did not work, in fact it was generating a server error which would have got anyone worried; since contacting GoNuts4Free and making them aware of the bug they have fixed the problem.

In summary, I can assure you that GoNuts4Free have not had their service high jacked, they are simply changing to a “paid for” service for those users that want to use their email accounts with broadband - if you want to continue to use the service you should sign up for the monthly direct debit and they will re-activate your account. Alternately you could change your email address and use one of the other free email services like Gmail, Hotmail or Yahoo to name just 3.

A

Hi Peter, sorry we missed you guys too, it just so happened that that evening was not a good one for us, hope to catch up in September when you are out next.

With regards to your problem, this is one that I believe is related to the older version of Windows Live Photo Gallery, you can do the following to get around the problem and import your pictures…

• Make sure that your memory card is connected to your computer

A

• Open Windows Live Photo Gallery • Click the Home tab, and then click Import photos.

• In the Import Photos and Videos dialog box, select your memory card, and then click Import.

• Click Import.

• Click More Options to select the options that you want to use, such as where to save the files and what format to use for the folder and file names.

• Select either Review, organize and group items to import or Import all new items now. …however in the longer term you should look to upgrade to the 2011 version, you can download and install the latest version from this link http://explore.live.com/windows-live-photo-gallery

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspain Alternately why don’t you sign up for my newsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill in the form that is on any page except the front page. office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, August 5, 2011

Greek-style Squid with Lemon, Garlic and Olive Oil Close your eyes when you eat your first mouthful of this one and in your mind you'll be right there on some lovely Greek island – it's one of those very simple things that also tastes extremely special. It's easy, too, as the squid is all prepared for you, so the whole thing takes no longer than 15 minutes from start to finish.

Ingredients: 1 lb (450 g) small squid, cleaned and ready-prepared Grated zest and juice 1 large lemon 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped 3 fl oz (75 ml) olive oil, preferably Greek 2 heaped tablespoons chopped fresh parsley Salt and freshly milled black pepper

To serve: Extra lemon wedges to squeeze over

Method: All you do with the squid is pull out the little tentacles and wash, dry with kitchen paper and reserve them. Next, cut the body section into ½ inch (1 cm) rings and wash them under cold running water; then pat dry with kitchen paper. Place them in a shallow dish, adding the reserved tentacles.

Squeeze the lemon juice over, toss and leave it for 5 minutes, when it will have absorbed most of the juice. Drain the squid through a colander and shake to remove excess liquid.

Next, heat the oil in a large, solid frying pan, add the garlic and lemon zest, cooking very slowly as it comes up to heat. When it is really hot add the squid and fry it in the hot oil, keeping it on the move so it just slightly takes on colour at the edges – it will only take about 1-2 minutes to cook.

Then add the seasoning and parsley and serve it straight away from the pan, with lemon wedges to squeeze over. This is particularly good served with a green salad and some warm pitta bread to dip into the luscious juices.

Beat the credit crunch...

Poor Man's Cassoulet Ingredients 10 fat, quality sausages with high meat content 12 oz (350 g) dried cannellini beans 1 dessertspoon olive oil 2 x 130 g packs cubetti di pancetta (or you can use diced bacon) 3 medium onions, peeled and thinly sliced 3 cloves garlic, peeled and finely chopped 1 level tablespoon fresh thyme leaves, plus a few sprigs 2 bay leaves 2 level tablespoons tomato purée 4 oz (110 g) fresh white breadcrumbs salt and freshly milled black pepper Pre-heat the oven to gas mark 1, 275°F, 140°C.

Equipment

You will also need a 6 pints (3.5 litres) capacity flameproof casserole.

Method First soak the beans. All you do is place them in a saucepan, cover with plenty of cold water, bring to the boil and let them boil for 10 minutes.

Then turn off the heat and let them soak for 2-3 hours and after that drain the beans in a colander. Then in the flameproof casserole, heat the oil over a medium heat and brown the sausages, turning them occasionally because they need to be a nice golden brown colour on all sides – this will take 7-8 minutes.

After that remove them to a plate, then add the pancetta to the frying pan, cook, turning the heat up and tossing it around for 5 minutes, until it's golden at the edges. Now using a slotted spoon, transfer the pancetta to join the sausages. Turn the heat down to medium, then in the juices left in the pan, soften the onions for 10 minutes, stirring

from time to time.

After that, toss in the garlic and cook for another minute. Next put a third of the beans into the cooking pot followed by half the onions, sprinkle with a third of the fresh thyme leaves and season well with salt and pepper, then add half the sausages and pancetta, followed by a third more beans, thyme and seasoning, then the remaining sausages and onions and finally the rest of the beans and the remaining thyme, pushing sprigs of thyme and bay leaves in amongst everything.

Now measure 1½ pints (850 ml) hot water, whisk in the tomato purée and pour this over the beans, cover with a lid and bake on the oven's centre shelf for 2 hours. Then take the lid off, sprinkle the breadcrumbs all over the top and bake (without a lid) for a further hour until the beans are completely cooked through. This is very rich and hefty, so a green salad is really all it needs to go with it.

Friday, August 5, 2011

FOOD FOR HEROES The Costa Blanca Food&Drink guide is raising money for Help For Heroes through the sales of its sixth edition in over 100 local outlets.

This popular restaurant guide, first published in July 2006, offers diners a new annual edition every summer. However in recent years the numbers printed have not been able to meet the ever-increasing demand and many designated outlets have been running out within only a few days of receiving the new editions.

To ensure the guides are available to all, 365 days of the year, these priceless little books are now available for only 1€ at official sales outlets along the Costa Blanca.

Each copy sold will generate an automatic donation to the UK-based charity Help For Heroes, dedicated to helping

military service personnel injured in the line of duty.

Robert Downes of the Food&Drink guide says: “As an ex-soldier myself, I’ve wanted to do something special for Help for Heroes for a while, so I decided to take advantage of the tremendous circulation figures of our Food&Drink guides and help raise money for a very worthy cause. ” This year’s edition features over 80 local restaurants, with 45 new additions including two local restaurants who are holders of the prestigious Michelin star. If you enjoy city breaks and days out, the guide also features city listings for Valencia, Murcia, Cartagena and Alicante as well as many profiles of local chefs and recipes plus a feature on Valencian wine. To find your nearest sales outlet, call 618 411 983 or check www.foodanddrinkspain.com

Coffee Granita: make it easy!

Ingredients

1 pint (570 ml) strong espresso coffee (made in an espresso coffee maker) or extremely strong filter coffee (the dark Continental roast is best) 4 oz (110 g) granulated sugar

Method Begin by dissolving the sugar in the hot coffee.

Allow it to cool, then pour it into the container and place it in the freezer. As soon as it has begun to form ice crystals around the edge, stir it with a fork to distribute the ice. (In a conventional freezer it can take 2-3 hours to reach this stage – so keep an eye on it.) After that keep returning and forking the ice crystals around until you have no liquid coffee left.

This can take up to another 3 hours, but it is impossible to be exact as freezers vary.

You can serve the Coffee Granita at this point. If you need to leave it frozen, all you do is remove it to the main body of the fridge 20 minutes before serving. To break up the ice, use a strong fork: this is not meant to be like a sorbet, but is served as coffee-flavoured ice crystals. Topped with whipped cream, it is a lovely, refreshing way to end a good meal.

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Friday, August 5, 2011

OVERWEIGHT? Then blame the environment!

ARE you worried about your weight? If so, you’re not alone — at any one time, an estimated 40 percent of women and 24 percent of men are trying to lose weight.

Being overweight, particularly if you’re unfit as well, is no laughing matter, as it seriously increases your risk of several, serious diseases: l High blood pressure l Increased blood cholesterol l Heart disease l Stroke l Type-2 diabetes l Certain cancers, such as uterus, breast, bowel and kidney cancer l Degenerative disease such as Alzheimer’s Being overweight also increases the strain on your joints, so you’re susceptible to aches and pains, and osteoarthritis.

Obesity even hampers sperm production in men and makes it harder for women to conceive.

An obese person dies on average nine years earlier than somebody of normal weight, while a very obese person's life is cut short by an average of 13 years.

We haven’t suddenly become overweight and obese simply through eating too much — it’s actually down to what the scientists call the “obesogenic environment”.

“Obesogenic” is not likely a term that you have heard before, but you may be hearing it more in the future.

It comes from obese plus the ending -genic, something tending to generate or create, and refers to an environment that promotes gaining weight and one that is not conducive to losing weight.

There are many factors in our environment that cause us to gain weight and make losing weight a real challenge: Fast food is an integral part of our society, from the hot sandwiches and hash browns for breakfast to the burgers, chips and shakes of a quick dinner. Because it is relatively

inexpensive, quickly prepared and easy to eat on the go, fast food is the ultimate culinary convenience, but that accessibility can lead to dangers that may impact a person's health.

Fast food contributes to obesity because it is generally less healthy than other meal options and portions are outrageously oversized. For example, an average adult requires 2,000 calories of nutrition each day for a healthy diet.

Yet a relatively small fast food meal may have far more calories than suspected: a regular size hamburger (400 calories), medium order of chips (380 calories) and a medium soft drink (200 calories) add up to a whopping 980 calories or nearly half the recommended daily intake. l The market is flooded with pre-packaged fat-laden and energy-dense foods. l People get less exercise due to busy lifestyles (and sometimes due to the safety issues of being outdoors.) l People are glued to their TV and computer screens far too many hours per day.

If our environment is to blame for our obesity problem, weight loss is possible through environmental changes.

WHAT ABOUT CHOLESTEROL? IN these times, more people than ever before are becoming aware of the content of their diet, and what effects it could have on their overall health. For most people, the greatest concern seems to be the level of cholesterol in their diet, but the truth is your body produces three to four times more cholesterol than you eat.

In fact in the United Kingdom, over a million prescriptions of statin, a drug used to lower cholesterol is written each week. It is easy to believe cholesterol is all bad for you even though we are aware of the terms ‘good cholesterol’ and ‘bad cholesterol’. To appreciate these terms, we need to understand what exactly cholesterol is.

WHAT IS CHOLESTEROL? Cholesterol is often called a fat or lipid, however according to scientists; it is an alcohol even though it does not behave like one. Cholesterol is insoluble in water and thus also insoluble in blood. Because it is insoluble in water, it is incorporated by living cells into cell membranes and coatings, making them impermeable to water. This is very vital for survival, especially as nerve cells have to be impermeable to

l Stop buying into the fast food craze. l Stop purchasing prepackaged foods at the grocery shop. l Eat foods in their most natural form. l Drink water instead of soft fizzy drinks. l Make exercise a priority in your daily life. l Limit TV and computer time.

Take note of the shortcuts you've grown accustomed to and stop taking the easy way out. Use a push lawnmower and stand up to change the channel on the TV. The bottom line is that making simple changes within your environment will give you the opportunity to eat smarter and exercise more, which is the magic combination for weight loss. Leading a healthy lifestyle is the only way to lose weight and permanently manage a healthy weight.

SNACK FOR ALL-DAY ENERGY SENTENCED to a day of hard labour? Bag the big lunch break.

University of Montana researchers found that men work harder and longer when they eat small snacks all day long instead.

In the study, firefighters who grazed on small portions of easy-to-eat foods completed 25% more work during a 10-12 hour shift than when they ate the same number of calories in a large midday meal.

People in physically demanding jobs need

a consistent supply of glucose and other nutrients.

If this supply comes all at once blood rushes to the gut to help digest the food.

This temporarily reduces the blood supply to the rest of the body, which means the muscles can't work as efficiently.

Snacks need less energy to digest so less blood rushes to the gut, which allows it to be used by working muscles and should mean the snackers are able to work harder.

water in order to function properly. This is the reason why the human brain and nervous system has the highest concentration of cholesterol in the body.

Another important benefit is its use by the body to manufacture hormones such as oestrogen and testosterone. It is also used to make bile salts in the liver, which are essential for digesting fat, as well as being beneficial in the immune system of the body and in the manufacture of vitamin D. Because cholesterol is insoluble in blood, it is transported through the body by substances known as Lipoprotein. This is possible because lipoproteins have a water soluble outer shell. The best known of these lipoproteins are known as LDL (low density lipoprotein) and HDL (high density lipoprotein).

HDL carries cholesterol from other parts of the body to the liver, where it is used to manufacture substances such as bile salts and hormones. LDL plays the role of moving cholesterol from the liver to the tissues and organs in the body that need it. Both types of lipoprotein are important in the body, however LDL is known as ‘bad cholesterol, while HDL is known as ‘good cholesterol’. This is because studies have shown that an overall increase in the level of LDL, and a decrease in the level of HDL are associated with heart disease. Conversely, a high level of HDL, and a corresponding low level of LDL are associated with a lower risk of coronary heart disease. To put it in another form, the important issue about cholesterol is the ratio of HDL to LDL in the body.

WHAT TO DO If you have been diagnosed with high cholesterol level, and perhaps placed on medication, it is important you find out other ways that can help reduce cholesterol levels, and also possible side effects of the medication you are taking. In a review of scientific studies, researchers found out that weight reduction and exercises lowers the level of LDL while increasing the level of HDL. This results in a ‘favourable’ HDL/LDL ratio which is very good for you!

Dr Machi Mannu is a neuro repatterning specialist.

Please send your questions to neurorep@gmail.com

Friday, August 5, 2011

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Friday, August 5, 2011

The most infamous cars crashed his $85,000 Cadillac Escalade luxury 4x4 outside his home in Florida; the smash unleashed a firestorm of revelations about the billionaire golf star's private life. The car was totally wrecked in the crash; this golfer definitely needs a new Caddy.

THERE have been many infamous cars in history, including this Mercedes-Benz C63 AMG. In March 2010 Lewis Hamilton was caught exiting the Albert Park in Melbourne in an "over-exuberant manner" when it seems he got his 451bhp super-saloon sideways on the road - and quickly found himself collared by the local constabulary.

But there are many more infamous cars. We don't set out to be gory. Our aim is to give you a comprehensive guide to the world's most infamous cars.

Lewis Hamilton's Mercedes C63 AMG Friday, 26 March 2010: these are the embarrassing moments shortly after Lewis Hamilton was caught driving sideways on the public road in his Mercedes C63 AMG in Melbourne, Australia. His car was impounded for 48 hours and Hamilton is likely to face a fine if prosecuted for the offence.

Charlie Sheen’s Mercedes S-Class

In February 2010, troubled actor Charlie Sheen left his ÂŁ120,000 Mercedes-Benz S600 in the open garage of his LA home with the keys in it. It was stolen and later found

Toyota Hilux Top Gear

Top Gear is renowned for its barmy stunts but the expedition to be the first people to drive to the North Pole caused out-

crashed in a ravine off Mulholland Drive, two miles away.

Then, just four months later, yet another Mercedes S-Class was found in yet another ditch nearby. The police admit to joking initially that it probably belonged to Charlie Sheen... and then found out it did. It seems he left his keys in the car yet again. We think that Charlie's premiums may rise at next renewal time.

Tiger Woods' Cadillac Escalade On the morning of Friday November 27 2009 Tiger Woods

cry. Using a heavily adapted Toyota Hilux, they successfully made it to the Pole but not without Clarkson whipping up a media frenzy by enjoying a gin and tonic while driving through the Arctic. The Hilux will also forever be remembered as the car Top Gear couldn't destroy.

Nelson Piquet Jr's Renault R28

In September 2008, Nelson Piquet Junior crashed his Renault R28 F1 car on the fourteenth lap at the Singapore Grand Prix, F1's first ever night race, and the safety car was deployed. After being dropped nine months later, Piquet said that he had been ordered to crash to win his team mate Fernando Alonso advantage; Alonso eventually won the race. Following an FIA investigation, the team's managing and engineering directors were forced to resign.

Friday, August 5, 2011

29

Cristiano Ronaldo's Ferrari 599 GTB When Manchester United ace Cristiano Ronaldo crashed his Ferrari 599 GTB in a Manchester tunnel in January 2009 he made headlines around the world. He luckily walked away from the smash unhurt - but his £190,000 car was a writeoff. He left Manchester to join Real Madrid in June 2009 in a record £80 million transfer.

Pierre Levegh's Mercedes-Benz 300 SLR Disaster struck the 1955 24 Hours of Le Mans when French driver Pierre Levegh's Mercedes-Benz 300 SLR left the track and hit a dirt bank. Levegh died on impact and the resulting explosion rained parts of his car into the crowd, killing 82 people. Traumatised by the whole experience, Mercedes quit motor racing and didn't return for 30 years, while Switzerland banned car racing altogether; the ban was lifted in 2007.

Ava Gardner's Mercedes-Benz 300SL Ted Bundy's VW Beetle American serial killer Ted Bundy was arrested after police noticed the VW Beetle he was driving was wearing stolen number plates. His car is pictured middle bottom, 20 years after he was electrocuted for killing at least 26 people.

Ava Gardner's 300SL: By her own admission a terrible driver, Gardner came to grief in the notoriously twitchy 300SL Gullwing. Losing control on a bend in Spain, the car ran up and embankment and rolled twice. The Hollywood actress was helped out through the windscreen as with the car on its roof, the doors wouldn’t open.

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Friday, August 5, 2011

Miserable cops so out of tune I’ve been out and about again this week as I’ve been told about the police going into a lot of bars in the area and stopping their music again!

I could understand it if it was a built up area and they were blasting the music out at silly o'clock but these are just normal bars with their entertainers inside playing at normal levels to a happy crowd and even before 10pm!

A lot of people are saying ‘they are picking on the English bars and it’s not fair’ but it's not. I know quite a lot of Spanish bars that have been hit by them, too, hopefully they will get bored soon and go and find real crimes to solve LOL...

Anyway, last weekend I spent the evening at the Arches in Los Alcazares. This is a fantastic

little bar owned by Alison and Derrick, originally from Devon and Rochdale. They have been there now for two and a half years and love it and I can see why.

It really is a great little place, but like many bar owners out here they have had to work hard to get it to what it is today. After a hard winter with Ryanair stopping flights into San Javier from November 1 till the end of March, Alison had a harder time than normal. But she still put her live entertainment on upstairs in her function room once a week and did a meal with the show to get the people in.

Now the summer is here they put entertainment on every single night of the week outside on the terrace with a quiz on a Sunday and karaoke on a Tuesday and then they have five nights of live entertainment with different artists on every week, including Shirelle, Jimmy Mac, Lynden B, Samantha Curtis and many more with a fantastic Michael Buble Tribute night planned on the terrace on Saturday August 20.

So if you’re passing by in Los Alcazares make sure you pop in and have a great night out. With meal deals and credit crunch lunches on and the kitchen open all day, it is well worth a trip down there.

Also this weekend there’s some great acts out and about on the Costa. Friday night (tonight) you will find Christine King at the Square Bar in

Cabo de Palos, and on Saturday the Mono’s are playing at the Black Bull in Torremendo. These are a great band and are definitely worth seeing - and finally Sunday night sees a fantastic Flamenco show at Cheers bar in Eagles nest.

Also I have been given more details from Ticketplanner about the Michael Jackson tribute and also the ladies night. So check out my column next week for all the details.

Well, that’s me finished for another week so if you’re a bar or an entertainer and want to appear in the gig guide or you have any events coming up that you would like me to tell everyone about, then please contact me by email on mandy@starsinbars.org or call me on 685302529 or just visit my website www.starsinbars.org

Mandy

DATE

VENUE

ACT/ EVENT

OTHER INFO

FRIDAY 5th

Celtic Drop in Playa Flamenca Arches in Los Alcazares Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Dos Chicas in Playa del Acequion Hillside in La Marina Square Bar in Cabo de Palos

Cabaroke with Davy Jones Tony Lincoln Bono Jukebox Legends & Elvis 2000 X2 Christine King

Starting at 10pm

Celtic Drop in Playa Flamenca Lodosol in San Pedro Arches in Los Alcazares Diablo’s in Cabo Roig Bar Sioux in Gran Alacant Black Bull in Torremendo Catorce in Benijofar

Cabaroke with Davy Jones Lynden B Matt Christian Kids Disco/ Magician / DJ Jay Mark Bailey The Monos Claire Daniels

Starting at 10pm Comedy Show

Snug in Torre de la Horredada Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Casa Ventura in San Luis Cheers Bar in Eagles Nest Diablo’s in Cabo Roig Lo Marabu in Dona Pepa

Tony Lincoln Cabaroke with Matt Christian Fun Music Quiz with Lynden B Flamenco show DJ Jay Karaoke Bobby Dazzler’s Karaoke

MONDAY 8th

Diablo’s in Cabo Roig Chicken Shack in San Luis Arches in Los Alcazares

TUESDAY 9th

Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Bar Rosa in Los Montesinos Arches in Los Alcazares Diablo’s in Cabo Roig La Roca in Balsicas Cheers Bar in Eagles Nest

D.J Jay B.J Bluesman Debbie Slater Kens Quiz Quiz night with Darren James Karaoke with Ruby Blues Karaoke with D.J Jay Stevie Spit Nikki G Crazy Bingo with Spike Fun Music Quiz B.J Bluesman Lorna Michelle Magician & D.J Jay Jukebox Legends & Elvis 2000 Johnny Fox

SATURDAY 6th

SUNDAY 7th

WEDNESDAY 10th

THURSDAY 1th

Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Montes Bar in Los Montesinos Restaurant La Boca in Playa Los Locos Arches in Los Alcazares Diablo’s in Cabo Roig British Legion in Hondon Black Bull in Torremendo Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Sisoma Romana in Dona Pepa The Priory in El Galan Bobby’s Bar in Quesada Arches in Los Alcazares

Fun Music Quiz with Lynden B Tony Lincoln Lenny Mitchell Bobby Dazzler’s Karaoke Justin Sane

U2 Tribute

Starting at 8pm Michael Buble Tribute

Starting at 5pm

Starting at 6pm

Starting at 9pm

Starting at 8.30pm Comedy Drag Show Starting at 4pm Starting at 9pm

Starting at 10pm

Starting at 9.30pm Comedian

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Friday, August 5, 2011

HOT GOSSIP Holiday special SO you've picked up one of the best papers on the Costa Blanca, now all you need to do (if you haven't already found us while your on your holiday, that is..) is to tune in your radios to the best radio stations on the Coast!

If you like the real classics and the UK Top 40, tune into TKOfm. TKOfm bring you classics from the 70s, 80s and 90s all the way through to present music with many different genres like Reggae,

Rock, Pop and Dance. If you like your music to go further back in time, tune in to TKO Gold. TKO Gold is more informative with more chat, but both stations have fantastic DJs who can be so funny, they will have you in stitches! All TKO's shows are broadcast live, so you hear all their cock-ups as well as being the professionals they are, unlike other stations.

One thing is for sure, we will do our utmost to bring you the best music, whatever you like, as you have some

FUN IN THE SUN! We are out and about with our TKO rig all summer long, bringing fun days for establishments and charities so look out for the TKO Rig and if you see it, come and say hello to us as it'd be a pleasure to meet you.

The DJs that bite are not allowed out of the TKO Towers so you'll be safe!

TKO brings you fresh up-to-date events and happenings, even informing you on what's on in your local bar and where the best British or Spanish top nosh is to eat.

Today we want to bring you some holiday advice to make sure you have fun in the sun all holiday long...

1. Take a radio everywhere you go and tune it to TKO. 2. Slap loads of factor 50 on your face .. call it anti-wrinkle cream!

3. Protect your kids with a high factor

Artist of the week BY this point, it’s pretty clear that Dolly Parton is damn secure with who she is. She’d have to be: She’s been in the public eye for about 50 years, remarked on both for her music and her outlandishly glamorous looks.

That kind of Dolly-tude means that Parton, especially in recent years, makes the record she wants, trends be damned.

That attitude worked to her advantage on 2008’s Backwoods Barbie, a charming set of pick-me-ups like “Better Get To Livin’” and “Jesus & Gravity” that extolled the virtues of living life to the fullest no matter what. Those same ideas carry over to Parton’s latest, Better Day, but they lack Barbie’s genuine freshness.

Parton has said this new record is all about lifting people up in these hard times, and some songs do that, like the opener “In The Meantime,” which is about ignoring end-time prophesies, and the exceptionally charming “Country Is As Country Does,” where Parton goes on at length about being “quite content with who I am, and if you ain’t, well kiss my ham.”

Gentle witticisms and fun-aunt life lessons are what Parton does best, but when she veers off into ballad or even (shudder) blues territory, watch out. “Holding Everything” pulls a chord progression directly from “I Will Always Love You” and fills it with schlocky lyrics about getting kissed and tasting sun and rain.

The album’s title track, “Better Day,” is a blues track à la Randy Newman, without any of the implied irony.

But even the weaker parts of Better Day are Dolly through and through, and if you don’t like it, you know what you can kiss.

and try to stay out of the sun in the hottest part of the day. A great time to sunbathe is in the evening for a great long-lasting tan.

4. Keep your wallets safe when you’re out and about in your front pockets, especially when you’re down the market.

5. When driving, carry all your documents, your passport and your driving licence (including your paper copy).

Don't stop for anyone but the police.

And remember, when the Spanish flash their lights at you it means THEY are coming through, the complete opposite to the UK. 6. Keep your shutters down when you are in at night to prevent a break in.

Thieves will still break in if you are at home.

Now all you have to do is have that fun in the sun you've been promising yourself and working so hard for. Have a brilliant holiday from all of us at The TKO Towers.

WIN A MEAL FOR TWO AND WINE AT QUESADA FISH & CHIPS POP QUIZ August 5 Welcome to the famous TKO Gold pop quiz! We sure did have some fun with last week’s questions. Let´s see if you can win yourself a meal for two at Quesada fish and chips.

All you have to do is take the first letter from each answer to find the name of a band or artist. Once you have found the key word listen in to Chris Ashley´s show on TKO Gold, Saturday mornings 9am – 12pm 1. Born Veronica Crawford in 1952 - an American Jazz and R&B singer.

2. Grease star who was hopelessly devoted to you.

3. Best British male artist in the 2004 Brit Awards who had a hit with ´Gotta Get Thru This´.

4. English punk Rock band formed in London in 1975 responsible for initiating the punk movement in the UK. 5. American new-wave band who had a hit with Psycho Killer in 1977.

6. He had Tears in Heaven with Layla!

7. It was ´Raining Men´ for these girls in 1983.

8. An 80s band with hits Take On Me and The Sun Always Shines on TV. 9. An American musician born in 1930. _______ Charles Robinson.

10. She had China in her Hands for five weeks at number one in the UK Top 40 in 1987.

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Friday, August 5, 2011

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 14 represents F and 11 represents W, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

In this week’s Quickie crossword, all the answers are ANAGRAMS of the clue words: Across 1 Tempuras (8) 7 Taser (5) 8 Reduction (9) 9 Its (3) 10 Nips (4) 11 Centre (6) 13 Design (6) 14 Traded (6) 17 Bleats (6) 18 Send (4) 20 War (3) 22 Enlisting (9) 23 Sales (5) 24 Pro resin (8)

Down 1 Tunis (5) 2 Testing (7) 3 Moor (4) 4 Medusa (6) 5 Waits (5) 6 Red cent (7) 7 Reveals (7) 12 Dilates (7) 13 Insures (7) 15 Intones (7) 16 Closer (6) 17 Wears (5) 19 Argus (5) 21 Gels (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Itch, 3 Cassette, 9 Seaport, 10 Lease, 11 Asset, 12 Stolid, 14 Castle, 16 Adhere, 19 Alumna, 21 Miser, 24 Adept, 25 Onerous, 26 Asterisk, 27 Lees.

Down: 1 Instance, 2 Claps, 4 Artist, 5 Salvo, 6 Teatime, 7 Ewer, 8 Hostel, 13 Neurosis, 15 Salient, 17 Damsel, 18 Patois, 20 Motor, 22 Stoke, 23 Saga.

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 A lair in an Arabian seaport (4) 3 Many a caper the Parisian concluded in song (8) 9 Beginner with a gun (7) 10 Loses one’s temper when shown photographs (5) 11 Support for fifty on the boundary (5) 12 Change pieces (6) 14 Songbird’s medical condition (6) 16 Take out permit to be in the Scottish river (6) 19 Peg enabling big drinker to swallow big eater (6) 21 I sit in a divan in capital city (5) 24 To be former partner is Middle Eastern (5) 25 Call worker to perform in a great show (7) 26 Diana’s little bloomer causes a catastrophe (8) 27 Deliver germ, reportedly (4)

Down 1 A sailor, Spanish sun, mid-January, end of August, end of June, it’s perfect (8) 2 Iceland, I see, is out to find such a beast (5) 4 Stop up-and-coming painter getting a break (6) 5 Sample some of the pasta’s texture (5) 6 Poison, i.e. candy concoction (7) 7 Ceases to have comfort (4) 8 The remaining ones from ‘The Brothers Karamazov’ (6) 13 Pear tree chopped down for jousting (8) 15 Fixes rapiers (7) 17 A dozen signalmen hold one flag (6) 18 Secure an ingredient of primary importance (6) 20 Stage is set for the computer entrepreneur (5) 22 Confused male figurehead is a sweetie (5) 23 Fellow expected back during sustained enmity (4)

STANDARD CLUES

Down 1 Complete (8) 2 Type of antelope (5) 4 Take into custody (6) 5 Flavour (5) 6 Type of poison (7) 7 Effortlessness (4) 8 Those not specified (6) 13 Banter (8) 15 Mends (7) 17 Flag (6) 18 Paper fastener (6) 20 Entrances (5) 22 Fire (5) 23 Dispute (4)

Across 1 City in Yemen (4) 3 Hymn (8) 9 First course (7) 10 Breaks (5) 11 Projection (5) 12 Coinage (6) 14 Songbird (6) 16 Erase (6) 19 Valve (6) 21 National capital (5) 24 Live (5) 25 Parade (7) 26 Tragedy (8) 27 Yield (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Stipend, 5 Shade, 8 Tiers, 9 Agitate, 10 Rigmarole, 12 Ate, 13 Teased, 14 Mascot, 17 Rip, 18 Shoe trees, 20 Inspire, 21 Cocoa, 23 Ensue, 24 Sheathe.

Down: 1 Sitar, 2 Ice, 3 Ensnare, 4 Dragon, 5 Spice, 6 Avalanche, 7 Element, 11 Goalposts, 13 Termite, 15 Article, 16 Hovels, 18 Smile, 19 Stake, 22 Cut.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words

Son

Beset

Saucy

Ace

Sty

Blini

Terce

Ail

Tee

Bonce

6 letter words

BBC

Try

Claim

Botany

Ess

Use

Cokes

Hereto

4 letter words

Cross

Insist

Etc Goo

Deny

Donor

Island

Hit

Harm

Evens

Series

Ice

Talc

Glean

Tether

Loo

Yens

Hence

7 letter words

Nor

5 letter words

Litre

Rethink

Res

Aisle

Loose

Sardine

Sag

Anger

Ovate

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Cubos (baldes) (7) 5 Noveno (5) 8 Income (from property) (5) 9 Más joven (7) 10 Pulpos (9) 12 Té (3) 13 Espacios (6) 14 Gypsy (6) 17 Autobús (3) 18 Hombros (9) 20 Cursiva (tipografía) (7) 21 Humo (5) 23 Oats (5) 24 Alga (7)

Down 1 Boat (embarcación) (5) 2 With (3) 3 Ejemplo (7) 4 El más tímido (6) 5 Nombre (lingüística) (5) 6 Pesadilla (9) 7 Brother (7) 11 Traducir (9) 13 Niece (7) 15 Church (7) 16 Moses (6) 18 Switzerland (5) 19 Velocidad (general) (5) 22 Un (3)

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Friday, August 5, 2011 Across 1 What title is given to the person established as pope in opposition to one held by others to be canonically chosen?

(8) 7/4 Which fortified Inca town in the Peruvian Andes, now a UNESCO World Heritage Site, is famous for its dramatic position, perched high on a steep-sided ridge? (5,6) 8 What name is given to a severe abscess or multiple boil in the skin, typically infected with staphylococcus bacteria?

(9) 9 Enola Gay and Maid of Orleans were both UK Top 10 hits for which 80s group (abbreviation)? (3) 10 Which fine grained mineral has a soft soapy feel and consists of hydrated magnesium silicate? (4) 11 What name is given to a drink taken after another of a different kind, typically a strong alcoholic drink after a weaker one? (6) 13 What name is given to the remains, or an impression, of a plant or animal that existed in a past geological age and that has been excavated from the soil? (6) 14 See 3 Down 17 What name is given to a space entirely devoid of matter?

(6) 18 What was the name of the Dutch and Huguenot population that settled in southern Africa in the late 17th century?

(4) 20 Which playing card with a single spot on it is ranked as the highest card in its suit in most card games? (3) 22 Which process involves detecting and removing concealed microphones from an area? (9) 23 What is the name of the contract granting use or occupa-

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

tion of property during a specified time for a specified payment? (5) 24 What name is normally applied to the computer network consisting of a worldwide network of computer networks that use the TCP/IP network protocols to facilitate data transmission and exchange? (8)

Down 1 On which racecourse is the Gold Cup run? (5) 2 Which US group’s UK hit singles include She’d Rather Be With Me and Elenore? (7) 3/14 In 1775, which American patriot rode from Boston to Lexington to warn fellow revolutionaries of the approach of British troops? (4,6) 4 See 7 Across 5 If someone was described as a thespian, what would be their calling? (5) 6 What name was given to a 19th century English workman who destroyed laboursaving machinery that he thought would cause unemployment? (7) 7 Rubeola is the medical term for which infectious viral disease? (7) 12 What is the US equivalent of the British post code?

(3,4) 13 Which word that means easily broken into small fragments or reduced to powder is derived from the Latin for ‘to crumble’? (7) 15 What name is given to someone who attends the famous public school for boys in Berkshire, founded in 1440? (7) 16 Also referred to as a ‘pagri’, which Sikh man’s headdress consists of a long length of cotton or silk wound round a cap or the head? (6) 17 Which word describes a strict vegetarian who eats no animal or dairy products at all? (5) 19 Whose Thesaurus of English Words and Phrases was first published in 1852? (5) 21 What old name for malaria or some other illness involving fever and shivering comes from the Latin for ‘acute (fever)’?

(4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH Verbos 2 – Verbs 2 Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch.

(Answers below)

SPORTS QUIZ 1. How many times in succession did Bjorn Borg win the Men's Tennis Singles at Wimbledon?

2. How many players are there in an Australian Rules football team?

3. At which ski resort would you see the Cresta Run? 4. Which footballer’s autobiography is titled The Good The Bad and the Bubbly?

5. Which team was Liverpool playing in the 1985 European Cup Final when the Heysel stadium disaster happened, banning all English clubs from European Football for 6 years?

6. Which footballer was also known as 'The Divine Ponytail'?

7. Cross country skiing and rifle shooting make up which sport?

8. Which game can be 'lawn' or 'crown green'?

9. Which 2 continents battle it out for the Ryder Cup? 10. How many red balls are on the table at the start of a frame of snooker?

11. Which soccer side had a hit with 'I'm forever blowing bubbles'?

1. 5 2. 18 3. St. Moritz 4. George Best 5. Juventus 6.

Roberto Baggio 7. Biathlon 8. Bowls 9. Europe and USA 10. 15 11. West Ham United

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across:1/7 Jonathan Swift, 8 Hyperbola, 9/20 Ice Age, 10 Data, 11 Raffia, 13 Shalom, 14 Hotpot, 17 Budget, 22 Autopsies, 23 Log on, 24 Nebraska.

Down: 1 Jihad, 2 Naphtha, 3 Tara, 4 Anorak, 5 Tibia, 6 Atheist, 7 Saffron, 12/18 Gordian knot, 13 St Paul’s, 15 Pinkies, 16 Bertie, 17 Beige, 19 Tosca, 21 Spur.

17. doler, 18. elegir, 19. encender, 20. enterrar a. to know, b. to melt, c. to bury, d. to thank, e. to build, f. to destroy, g. to compete, h. to love, i. to drive, j. to heat,

RJ GOGZ K RCRHP COR E C X H MT F R I F OA OA I C R OB U QE U N T N Y N MU E I T MU C R C A L E N T A R DUA L E T OGCCHRA RT A L U R S N WN O O I J R N S R I B N D QZ K A MN C Z E E GDOUY T CA P P RONY D A CCY DGCRRE DOCE Y RI GE RROCDT P ORE L R A T S O C S N WI J I L E R DE CI RUE DJ RGT NE A R MX MQC E N T E R R A R R I C T MN F MOL K R QA P Q P T WE T P Y E D R S Z T S E Soduko

Span - Eng

k. to start, l. to say, m. to grow, n. to cost, o. to correct, p. to count, q. to light, r. to dilute, s. to hurt, t. to choose.

Answers: 1d, 2h, 3j, 4k, 5g, 6i, 7a, 8e, 9p, 10m, 11o, 12n, 13l, 14b, 15f, 16r, 17s, 18t, 19q, 20c.

1. Agradecer, 2. amar, 3. calentar, 4. comenzar, 5. competir, 6. conducir, 7. conocer, 8. construir, 9. contar, 10. crecer, 11. corregir, 12. costar, 13. decir, 14. derretir, 15. destruir, 16. diluir,

AGRADECERA-

COSTAR

MAR

CRECER

CALENTAR

DECIR

COMENZA

DERRETIR

COMPETIR

DESTRUIR

CONDUCIR

DILUIR

CONOCER

DOLER

CONSTRUIR

ELEGIR

CONTAR

ENCENDER

CORREGIR

ENTERRAR

Quizword

Fill It In

34

Friday, August 5, 2011

Horoscopes

By Pandora Aries March 21 - April 19 Any joke you have to seriously think about today is not worth 'getting'. When gazing upon the face of a loved one, close your mouth and stop babbling on about how much you wish that restraining order had been quashed. Today might be tiring, but you will sleep easy this evening once everything has died down.

I'M SUCH A LONELY GUY Dear Rose, I was widowed two years ago and decided to stay on in Spain as I have made a life for myself here. The only problem is that sometimes I get so lonely. I belong to a golf club and go out to quizzes so I do mix socially but still miss the company of my wife.

What do you suggest?

Taurus April 20 - May 20 Tantric is not a cuss-word you want to use around the office. It's not even a cuss-word.

It is, however, said to be very exhausting.

Don't trust anyone today. Stay inside until today is all over and done with. Don't trust this horoscope either. Just don't - okay?

Gemini May 21 - June 20 Almost everything you feel about life is unwarranted. You should feel almost the opposite about life at the moment and embrace your worst fears. Terrible things will happen to someone you hate today. You may feel joyous.

BILL, Quesada

l

Dear Bill. This is a very difficult time for you. Two years is nothing after bereavement. Of course you miss your wife but you are trying to come to terms with your loss.

Perhaps you could volunteer to do some charity work - working in a shop for instance where you will meet a lot of new people.

Have you thought of a pet? As long as you don't have to travel too often this could be a good thing for you. There are so many unwanted animals just crying out for new homes.

Think about it.

In the meantime, try to remember that time is a wonderful healer.

CRUEL ON THE DOG Dear Rose, My neighbour's dog is a complete nuisance! As soon as they let it out it doesn't stop barking.

They often leave it unattended, sometimes for hours, when they go out. It has a kennel for shelter from the sun and they do leave water but I still feel it is cruel to leave an animal for so long and it really does get on my nerves.

What can I do?

ALLEN

Cancer June 21 - July 22

If you have a problem Romany Rose can help you with, email her at office@thecourier.es

l

Well Allen, this is not an easy one. Have you told your neighbours how upsetting this is for you?

I know it will cause friction between you but it must be done. Have you told the president of your Community?

You know that the community can issue them with a warning to begin with and see if things improve.

Good luck and please let me know what happens.

vagina.

Old wives tales also say you can conceive by sitting on a loo seat, kissing or swimming near a boy.

These things are all untrue. Try and talk to your mother about sexual issues. I'm sure she would welcome being able to help you.

Don't stop swimming as it great exercise and a lot of fun!

MISSING THE LITTLE MISS CONCEPTION GRANDKIDS Dear Rose, I don't know who to ask as I am very ignorant about sex.

Is it possible to get pregnant from using a swimming pool with my boyfriend?

Dear Rose,

I have been living in Spain for three years and generally I am very happy here.

The only problem is that I miss my grandchildren so

much. They come and visit us during the summer holidays but after they go I am so miserable.

Can you help me to find a solution?

MARGARET

l

Well Margaret, this is a problem for so many people (especially women) here. Do you have Skype? (Free visual telephone internet service) If not, perhaps you should install it as it would be a good way to talk and see them at the same time.

Also, why don't you keep looking for cheap flights on the internet?

Sign up to get first notification of sales so that you could just go back for a long weekend sometimes, or even midweek break.

You could also start writing to them or send them cards so that you could feel that little bit closer.

I know that this is difficult but keep your chin up!

One part love, one part hate. This is a recipe for your life. Purple clouds are not usual, nor is red rain. You really must stop pretending that the pictures your niece draws are real.

Leo July 23 - August 22 Try to avoid reading dusty old books that call themselves 'tomes'. Especially if they contain remarkably detailed information about the coming of the anti-christ. You do look remarkably fetching today, and I'd like to offer you a fish supper, especially if your name is Anthony or Norman.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 Whilst bad things can happen in quick succession, it takes an absolute genius to screw up an entire life within 30 minutes.

Music is likely to help you through today, so try to listen to as much as possible. The faster you travel today, the more likely you are to pick up a speeding ticket.

Libra September 23 - October 22 Even in the darkest places you can find yourself - although you may break your nose on a door. Any time you feel restless this week, try to imagine what it would be like to take viagra and ritalin at the same time.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 Plants may be out to get you today, so look to buying some kind of weed-killer. Avoid spraying week-killer into loved ones' eyes. All of that which you experience today will be catalogued under "things not to do in public again".

WORRIED, Torrevieja

l

Dear 'Worried' ,

No it is not possible. You can only get pregnant by having sexual intercourse or by heavy petting when sperm from your boyfriend could find its way into your

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 If you feel happy today, try to create something that reflects that happiness. Post-it note your entire life and you can become some kind of local hero. You're almost certainly to star on the local news. Wood may be lucky for you this week, although you'd probably prefer meaty planks to irritating splinters.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 The Americanisation of many words often gets you angry. However, don't get upset about such trivial things - it is evolution of a sort and doesn't actually affect you in the slightest.

Color center. If you think you've been harshly treated, please feel free to contact me or perhaps issue some kind of fatwa.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Most of the things you believe in could be hacked apart by a fairly terrible dream. All the things you're unsure of will almost certainly remain enigmatic by the end of the day. You have your Southern folk. And you have your Northern folk. Which you are is probably not of consequence, because you're stranger than most.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 Everything you feel about yourself will be confirmed today as you're put through the mill and emerge victorious. Any rumours you may have heard about a certain special someone may come true this week.

35

Friday, August 5, 2011

TRELI ON THE TELLY Meet our boffin of the box ALEX TRELINSKI

IF John Logie Baird was still alive, I’d give the clever Scotsman a great hug and thank him for the zillions of hours of entertainment his invention has given me.

In fact, I’m convinced my umbilical cord acted as an early antenna when I popped out of my mother’s womb over half a century ago, as my first words were infantile gurglings of the TV advert jingles for Murray Mints and Shell petrol.

I also seemed to equate the word Clarks with shoes, and was later informed by my Polish parents that my early knowledge of English did genuinely come via a flickering 22-inch cathode ray tube in the corner of our semi-detached Manchester house.

I therefore had a very good reason to be grateful that TV condom commercials were not around in the early sixties - or I may have struck up an interesting conversation with my neighbours whilst playing in the garden!

However, my love affair with television had well and truly started, and my fluent Polish babblings were duly supplemented with some well-enunciated and rounded English tones, thanks to the BBC and ITV, courtesy of Granada and ABC TV. John Logie Baird: I also felt the full force of He started it all my old man when I tried to

persuade him of the necessity of watching ‘Popeye’ or ‘The Flintstones’ on Granada as a pre-bedtime treat, as opposed to a boring BBC regional news bulletin. He had little sympathy for this scheduling conflict, and I quickly learned some sharp East European profanity as well as feeling the force of his right hand as I was frog-marched to bed without seeing my cartoon favourites.

I never forgave my father for this particular piece of strict discipline, but I was always quids in when ‘Mr Ed’ was on. He liked watching the talking horse and I’m sure he used it to brush up on his broken English, on the basis that if a horse could speak the language, then he could as well.

I actually thought Ed won that contest every time, without ever getting close to a photo-finish!

Fortunately for my linguistic development, I was prevented from watching programmes in Welsh to avoid total chaos.

But that would have been useful in later years in that I would have understood the thighslapping gags on such BBC 1 lunchtime gems as ‘Ryan and Ronnie’, which was only marginally better to watching the test card over on ITV. A missed opportunity, perhaps, but that bit of parental Welsh censorship didn’t stop my passion for television and broadcasting, and I eventually began a 30-year career with the BBC, albeit on the radio as I thought my face looked like a relief map of the Pennines!

But my fanaticism for TV remained - and I would use the good old wireless as a vehicle to slag off something I’d seen on the box the night before, or to wax lyrical about a gem that I had really enjoyed. I hope that over the coming months, you’ll pick up on how much I love that box in the corner.

There’s something stirring at ITV1 at the moment, and that’s not just the constant strained movement of bowels which sums up their dreadful Saturday night entertainment

line-up. The non-stop promotion of drivel like ‘The Marriage Ref’ shows that they are getting a real kicking from BBC1 at the moment, where that old war-horse ‘Casualty’ is still doing great business in the ratings.

But over at ITV’s drama department, someone is flushed with success after pulling up their pants, and second series’ have been ordered for ‘Vera’, ‘Monroe’, ‘Scott & Bailey’ and ‘Case Sensitive’.

Four new drama hits in a few months is not to be sniffed at, and I’m almost starting to forgive the network for axing ‘The Bill’ last year on the pretence that they were looking for successful new shows.

I didn’t buy into that PR bull at the time, but I’ll hold up my paw and say that I got it wrong. With the fantastic ‘Downton Abbey’ back in the autumn, ITV are at last putting together a really good portfolio of quality popular drama that they’ve not had for years, and that can only be great for us viewers.

There’s no more cliché-ridden and frenzied cop show around than ‘CSI Miami’ which is back for another run on Channel Five on Tuesday nights. The plots are ridiculous, the location shoots are glorious, and the acting akin to a good day at the old Crossroads Straight from Motel. Even the lead man, the horse’s David Caruso as Horatio mouth - Mr Ed Caine, has the same hair colour as Noele Gordon, with a method-acting approach that would have Marlon Brando turning in his extralarge grave.

But for all of that, I love the show to bits. It’s like a cartoon for grown-ups, and whoever dreams up the crazy stories needs immediate psychiatric attention. I wouldn’t miss it for the world, and for that regular final scene where Horatio either puts on or removes his sunglasses, as well as giving us some kind of moralistic homily. Long may it continue!

The BBC just can’t win.

Having to make severe cuts because of the reduced licence fee, they’ve come up with a major money saving deal over Formula 1, with a new joint contract with Sky Sports. Now the same newspapers that have had a hysterical campaign full of self-interest against the Beeb are slagging off the fact that half of the live F1 races have gone to satellite TV. At least Sky has learnt from ITV’s rubbish coverage and will not interrupt the action with ad breaks. But of course we are lucky over here, as we can watch it all free of charge on La Sexta and also Canal 9 in the Valencia region.

BBC BUILDS TV NEWS APP

The BBC has launched a BBC News product for connected TVs, which will bring video news clips via the web to living-room screens.

The services combines existing video and text content from BBC News Online and will initially be made available on Samsung’s range of Smart TVs. It will then be made available on a range of connected devices over time.

Phil Fearnley, general manager for news and knowledge at BBC Future Media, said the development reflects the company’s strategy to deliver greater value for money for licence-fee

payers by repurposing BBC Online products for a wide range of devices.

The launch aims to tap into the growing internet-connected TV market, with predictions that almost 36 million TVs with built-in internet capability will be installed in UK homes by the end of 2016.

“Internet-connected TV is developing as a medium and presents an exciting and engaging complement to our existing TV services. As we’ve seen with BBC iPlayer in the UK, and our global smartphone applications, audiences enjoy the freedom and flexibility of BBC

services at a time and place that suits them – whether on the move or on the living-room TV,” Fearnley added.

The BBC News product for connected TV has been designed as a complement to the BBC’s live 24-hour news channel. Editorial teams in the newsrooms will curate clips around the clock to run alongside text-based news from BBC News Online – all started, stopped, and navigated via the remote control.

The BBC News product for connected TV will be available free of charge and is accessible from within the Samsung Apps Store on Samsung Smart TVs.

36

Friday 5th August

00:35 02:15 02:45 03:40 04:25 04:55 05:25 05:30 06:00 06:30 06:45 07:00 10:15 11:00 12:00 12:45 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:15 16:05 16:30 17:00 17:30 18:00 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 22:30 23:00 23:25 23:35

The Human Stain Dying for a Drink - Panorama Countryfile Fake Britain Royal Upstairs Downstairs Saints and Scroungers Newsday HARDtalk BBC News World Business Report BBC News Breakfast Heir Hunters Homes Under the Hammer Cowboy Trap Saints and Scroungers Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Doctors Only Fools and Horses Copycats The Sparticle Mystery Remote Control Star Fee Fi Fo Yum Newsround Pointless BBC News Regional News Programmes The One Show The Good Cook EastEnders A Question of Sport My Family Miranda BBC News Regional News and Weather John Bishop's Britain

BBC2 00:20 01:20 02:10 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45

The Hour The Tudors Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today

04:00 04:30 04:45 05:25 07:00 07:10 07:15 07:30 07:45 08:00 08:30 08:40 08:55 09:00 09:30 09:55 10:05 10:15 10:35 10:45 11:05 11:20 11:45 12:05 12:35 12:40 14:15 15:00 16:00 16:45 17:30 18:15 19:00 19:30 22:30 23:00 23:30

Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Close Wibbly Pig Dipdap Pinky Dinky Doo Tinga Tinga Tales Octonauts Roar The Jungle Book Deadly Art Newsround The Legend of Dick & Dom LazyTown Bob the Builder The Koala Brothers Driver Dan's Story Train Chuggington Mr Bloom's Nursery Gigglebiz Zingzillas Waybuloo In the Night Garden Coast The Story of an African Farm Diagnosis Murder Wanted Down Under Weakest Link Antiques Road Trip Flog It! Escape to the Country Eggheads Live Athletics Never Mind the Buzzcocks The Rob Brydon Show Newsnight

00:35 Odd One In 01:20 The Zone 03:20 The Repossessed: Tonight 03:50 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Auction Party 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Rosemary & Thyme 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Someone's Daughter, Someone's Son 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 Meridian Tonight 23:35 Mad Max 2

THE GOOD COOK If you can sit through an episode of The Good Cook without wanting to lick your TV screen, then you are made of stern stuff.

Simon Hopkinson is responsible for so much foodie goodness it's more than the senses can stand. Tonight he makes what looks like a perfect roast chicken, complete with "the best gravy ever" and a bread sauce that angels would gladly bathe in.

00:05 00:10 01:10 01:40 01:55 02:10 02:25 02:50 03:45 04:40 05:30 05:55 06:50 07:00 07:25 07:50 08:20 08:45 09:45 10:40 on the 11:00 12:00 13:00 13:05 14:05 15:55 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 20:35 21:00 22:00 22:30 23:35

4thought.tv Lee Evans The Album Chart Show 4Play: Viva Brother The Album Chart Show: 4Play: Fitz and the Tantrums Hollyoaks Music Show Cast Offs The Sex Education Show Brothers & Sisters Wogan's Perfect Recall Cookery School The Treacle People The Hoobs Freshly Squeezed Everybody Loves Raymond According to Jim Friends 90210 The Hoff's Postcard from T4 Beach Made in Chelsea Friends Channel 4 News Summary A Place in the Sun Yangtse Incident Come Dine with Me Deal or No Deal Come Dine with Me The Simpsons Hollyoaks Channel 4 News C4 Presents - Jody Cundy Superheroes of Suburbia Come Dine with Me 8 Out of 10 Cats Alan Carr: Chatty Man Chris Moyles' Quiz Night

00:00 Candy Bar Girls 01:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Animal Rescue Squad 05:10 HouseBusters 06:00 County Secrets 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Fireman Sam 07:45 Peppa Pig 07:50 The WotWots 08:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Roary the Racing Car 09:35 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:50 Olivia 10:00 Little Princess 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Wright Stuff Extra with Gabby Logan 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Ice Road Truckers 14:10 Meerkat Manor 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:10 Stolen Innocence 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Meerkat Manor 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 How Do They Do It? 21:00 Danger: Diggers at Work 22:00 Castle 23:00 The Mentalist 23:55 CSI: Miami

37

Saturday 6th August

00:05 My Favourite Joke 00:35 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:45 Paycheck 02:40 Rick Stein's Spain 03:40 Restoration Home 04:40 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 05:10 BBC News 05:30 Five Minutes With 06:00 BBC News 06:30 Our World 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 The Good Cook 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 British Olympic Dreams 14:30 Live Athletics 17:30 Final Score 18:20 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:40 Total Wipeout 19:40 Tonight's the Night 20:40 The National Lottery: 21:30 Casualty 22:20 John Bishop's Britain 22:50 BBC News; Weather 22:50 National Lottery Update 23:10 Con Air

00:05 01:35 03:15 03:30 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 05:10

Lymelife Wilbur (Wants to Kill Himself) BBC News The Weather Show BBC News Click Newswatch BBC News Close

07:00 Wibbly Pig 07:10 Dipdap 07:15 Pinky Dinky Doo 07:30 Tinga Tinga Tales 07:45 Octonauts 08:00 Deadly 60 08:35 Arthur 09:00 Little Howard's Big Question 09:25 Prank Patrol Down Under 09:50 Dennis and Gnasher 10:00 Trade Your Way to the USA 10:30 Fee Fi Fo Yum 11:00 Mission: 2110 11:25 League of Super Evil 11:40 Wolverine and the X-Men 12:00 OOglies 12:15 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab 12:40 MOTD Kickabout 13:00 They Came to Cordura 15:00 Live International Rugby Union 17:15 Live Challenge Cup Rugby League 19:30 Flog It! 20:30 Dad's Army 21:00 The Impressionists - Painting and Revolution 22:00 BBC Proms 2011 23:35 Amy Winehouse Tribute

01:20 The Zone 03:25 The Skeleton Key 05:05 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 09:25 Ten Mile Menu 10:25 Coronation Street 12:45 This Morning: Saturday 13:45 ITV News and Weather 13:49 Meridian Weather 13:50 Monk 14:45 The Man in the Brown Suit 16:40 Dr No 18:40 Meridian News and Weather 18:55 ITV News and Weather 19:10 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire 22:00 Ronnie Corbett's Comedy Britain 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:14 Meridian Weather 23:15 GoldenEye

AMY WINEHOUSE TRIBUTE Jools Holland presents a collection of performances by the singer, who died on Saturday July 23.

The programme features her first appearance on Later in 2003 with songs from her debut album Frank, and her 2006 return to the show for the launch of Back to Black. Plus, her duet with Paul Weller on Hootenanny and an appearance at the 2007 Mercury Prize.

00:25 4thought.tv 00:30 The Big Bang Theory 01:00 Sirens 02:05 4Play: Blood Orange 02:15 Abbey Road Debuts 02:30 My Name Is Earl 03:20 The Real Housewives of New Jersey 04:10 Brothers & Sisters 05:00 Hill Street Blues 05:50 Wogan's Perfect Recall 06:00 Ugly Betty 06:15 Cookery School 06:45 Yo Gabba Gabba!

07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 FIM Superbike World Championship 08:30 British Formula 3 International Series 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Friends 10:30 Hollyoaks Music Show 11:00 Smallville 11:55 Friends 12:30 Pop Up Pop Quiz 13:20 The Big Bang Theory 14:20 The TV Book Club 14:50 Channel 4 Racing 16:50 Come Dine with Me 18:55 Channel 4 News 19:25 4thought.tv 19:30 Battle of Britain 22:00 Camelot 23:00 Watchmen

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:10 SuperCasino 05:05 Motorsport Mundial 05:30 Great Scientists 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:40 Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 07:50 Elmo's World 08:05 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:15 The Save-Ums! 08:30 Noddy in Toyland 08:45 Hana's Helpline 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 The Milkshake! Show 11:00 Inside Hollywood 11:05 Mexican Food Made Simple 11:35 Police Interceptors 12:35 Aircrash: Hudson River Landing 13:35 RoboCop - The Future Of Law Enforcement 15:15 The Last Starfighter 17:10 Ivanhoe 19:25 5 News Weekend 19:30 NCIS 20:25 Law & Order 21:25 CSI: NY 22:20 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 23:20 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

38

Sunday 7th August 04:40 Close 07:00 Wibbly Pig 04:00 BBC News

07:10 Dipdap

04:30 Our World

07:15 Pinky Dinky Doo

05:00 BBC News

07:30 Tinga Tinga Tales

05:30 Click

07:45 Octonauts

06:00 BBC News

08:00 Deadly 60

06:30 World Olympic Dreams

08:30 Arthur

07:00 Breakfast

08:55 Junior MasterChef

09:00 International Rugby Union

09:25 Bear Behaving Badly

10:00 The Andrew Marr Show

09:45 Hotel Trubble

11:00 Sunday Morning Live

10:15 Jinx

12:00 Country Tracks

10:35 Wingin' It

13:00 BBC News

11:00 Something for the Weekend

13:05 Escape to the Country

12:30 Flog It!

13:45 Match of the Day Live

13:00 Live Triathlon

16:05 EastEnders

16:00 Live Challenge Cup Rugby

18:00 Songs of Praise

League

18:35 BBC News; Regional News

18:25 Eisteddfod 2011 with Wynne

and Weather

Evans

19:00 Deadly 60 on a Mission

18:55 Hidalgo

19:30 Antiques Roadshow

21:00 Top Gear

20:30 Countryfile

22:00 Dragons' Den

21:30 The Inspector Lynley

23:00 Mock the Week - Again

Mysteries

23:30 This World

23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Sugartown

00.15 BBC Sessions: Amy Winehouse 01:05 The Rob Brydon Show 01:35 Saturn 3 03:00 Battle beyond the Stars

01:40 The Zone 03:40 In Plain Sight 04:30 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 09:25 May the Best House Win 10:25 Dickinson's Real Deal 11:25 60 Minute Makeover 12:30 This Morning: Sunday 13:30 ITV News and Weather 13:35 Survival: Tales from the Wild 14:35 Inspector Morse 16:35 Midsomer Murders 18:30 Meridian News and Weather 18:45 ITV News and Weather 19:00 FA Community Shield Highlights 20:00 Joanna Lumley's Nile 21:00 Born to Shine 22:00 Law & Order: UK 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:15 Charlie Wilson's War

TOP GEAR The three hosts are each given a budget of ÂŁ5,000 to find a car that can hold its own on a racetrack and handle everyday tasks, before testing their purchases in Germany.

James May puts two Porsches through their paces on the Top Gear test circuit, and former Downing Street communications director Alastair Campbell tries out the Reasonably Priced Car.

02:05 24 Hours in A&E 03:05 Embarrassing Fat Bodies 04:00 Hung 04:30 Brothers & Sisters 05:20 Hill Street Blues 06:10 Grudge Match 06:25 Wogan's Perfect Recall 06:55 Sali Mali 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 The Grid 08:30 C4 Presents - Hannah Cockroft 08:35 Freesports on 4 09:00 N-Dubz's Postcard from T4 on the Beach 09:15 Friends 09:50 Towie's Postcard from T4 on the Beach 10:05 Rise of the Planet of the Apes: A T4 Movie Special 10:40 Hollyoaks 13:10 Friends 13:45 Ibiza Rocks 14:05 Diddy Dirty Money's RockCorps 14:20 The Simpsons 15:20 Undercover Boss 16:20 Help! My House Is Falling Down 17:25 Eragon 19:25 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 A Place in the Sun 21:00 Holiday Hijack 22:00 Sperm Whale 23:30 No Country for Old Men

00:20 CSI: Miami 01:15 SuperCasino 05:00 Animal Rescue Squad 05:15 The FBI Files 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:40 Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 07:50 Elmo's World 08:05 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:15 The Save-Ums! 08:30 Noddy in Toyland 08:40 Hana's Helpline 08:50 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 Roary the Racing Car 09:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:35 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 The Milkshake! Show 11:00 Inside Hollywood 11:10 Meerkat Manor 11:40 New Cowboy Builders 12:40 The Removal Men: Pickfords 13:40 Danger: Diggers at Work 14:35 Uptown Girls 16:20 Michael 18:20 The Secret Garden 20:10 5 News Weekend 20:15 Men in Black 2 22:00 Swordfish

39

Monday 8th August

00:25 Moving On 01:10 The Sky at Night 01:35 Richard Hammond's Journey to the Centre of the Planet 02:35 Holby City 03:35 The Good Cook 04:05 Antiques Road Trip 04:50 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Wreck or Ready?

12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Only Fools and Horses 16:05 Copycats 16:35 The Sparticle Mystery 17:05 Dick & Dom Go Wild 17:30 Horrible Histories 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Fake Britain 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Mugabe's Blood Diamonds Panorama 22:00 New Tricks 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport

00:30 02:40 04:10 07:00

The Lives of Others Emile Close Wibbly Pig

07:10 07:15 07:30 07:45 08:00 08:30 08:40 08:55 09:00 09:30 09:55 10:05 10:15 10:35 10:45 11:05 11:20 11:45 12:05 12:35 14:15 15:00 16:00 16:45 17:30 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00 23:30

Dipdap Pinky Dinky Doo Tinga Tinga Tales Octonauts Roar The Jungle Book Deadly Art Newsround Deadly 60 LazyTown Bob the Builder The Koala Brothers Driver Dan's Story Train Chuggington Mr Bloom's Nursery Gigglebiz Zingzillas Waybuloo In the Night Garden Press for Time Diagnosis Murder Wanted Down Under Weakest Link Antiques Road Trip Flog It! Escape to the Country Eggheads Celebrity Eggheads Victorian Pharmacy Wonderstuff University Challenge Antiques Master Horizon Shooting Stars Newsnight

01:05 The Zone 03:00 Motorsport UK 03:55 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let's Do Lunch with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Rosemary & Thyme 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Countrywise Kitchen 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Show Me the Funny 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight 23:35 Connie and Carla

ULTIMATE POLICE INTERCEPTORS New series. Documentary following the work of a specialised pursuit team using an array of high-performance cars equipped with an assortment of technology for catching law-breakers

01:50 Stand Up for the Week 02:40 Head Over Heels in Rats 03:05 The Rules of Attraction 05:00 Home Road Movies 05:15 Brothers & Sisters 06:05 Hill Street Blues 06:55 Sali Mali 07:00 The Hoobs 07:25 Freshly Squeezed 07:50 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:15 According to Jim 08:45 Friends 09:40 90210 10:40 Katy B's Postcard from T4 on the Beach 10:55 Made in Chelsea 11:50 Sugababes: Video Exclusive 11:55 Friends 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A Place in the Sun 14:05 Channel 4 Presents - Will Bayley 2012 14:10 River Cottage Bites 14:20 Carry On Nurse 16:00 Celebrity Come Dine with Me 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Celebrity Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 The Secret Life of Buildings 22:00 Hugh's Fish Fight 23:00 Jennifer Saunders

00:00 The Ninth Gate 02:35 SuperCasino 05:00 Animal Rescue Squad 05:10 Great Artists 05:35 Divine Designs 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Ebb and Flo 07:40 Fireman Sam 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 The WotWots 08:05 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 2 Roary the Racing Car 09:35 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:50 Olivia 10:00 Little Princess 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Wright Stuff Extra with Gabby Logan 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Ice Road Truckers 14:15 Meerkat Manor 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:15 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:20 Together Again for the First Time 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Meerkat Manor 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 How Do They Do It? 21:00 Ultimate Police Interceptors 22:00 The Invasion

40

Tuesday 9th August

00:05 00:50 01:35 02:20 03:20 04:05 04:35 05:20 05:30 06:00 06:30 06:45 07:00 10:15 11:00 12:00 12:30 13:15 14:00 14:30 14:45 15:15 16:05 16:35 17:00 17:30 18:00 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:25 23:35

Darren Clarke's Open Destiny The Celebrity Apprentice USA Weatherview A History of Celtic Britain Animal 24:7 An Island Parish Antiques Road Trip Newsday HARDtalk BBC News World Business Report BBC News Breakfast Heir Hunters Homes Under the Hammer Wreck or Ready?

Cash in the Attic Bargain Hunt BBC News; Weather Regional News and Weather Doctors Only Fools and Horses Copycats The Sparticle Mystery Gimme a Break Cop School Newsround Pointless BBC News Regional News Programmes The One Show EastEnders Holby City DIY SOS: The Big Build BBC News Regional News and Weather The Real Sleeping Beauty

bb2 00:20 01:20 02:10 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30

Torchwood: Miracle Day The Tudors Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report

04:45 05:00 05:20 07:00 07:10 07:15 07:30 07:45 08:00 08:30 08:40 08:55 09:00 09:30 09:55 10:05 10:15 10:35 10:45 11:05 11:20 11:45 12:05 12:35 14:15 15:00 16:00 16:45 17:30 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:30

Sport Today Newsday Close Wibbly Pig Dipdap Pinky Dinky Doo Tinga Tinga Tales Octonauts Roar The Jungle Book Deadly Art Newsround Deadly 60 LazyTown Bob the Builder The Koala Brothers Driver Dan's Story Train Chuggington Mr Bloom's Nursery Gigglebiz Zingzillas Waybuloo In the Night Garden The French Line Diagnosis Murder Wanted Down Under Weakest Link Antiques Road Trip Flog It! Escape to the Country Eggheads Celebrity Eggheads Dragons' Den Restoration Home The Hour Twenty Twelve Newsnight

01:25 03:25 04:20 05:30 06:30 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 Mel 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:30 23:35

The Zone Nightwatch with Steve Scott ITV Nightscreen The Jeremy Kyle Show ITV Morning News Daybreak Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Let's Do Lunch with Gino & ITV News and Weather Meridian News and Weather 60 Minute Makeover Dickinson's Real Deal Meridian Weather Rosemary & Thyme The Chase Meridian Tonight ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Wildlife Patrol Cops with Cameras Homes from Hell ITV News at Ten Meridian Tonight The Return

RAMSAY’S KITCHEN NIGHTMARES USA Gordon Ramsay heads for Pasadena, California, where he visits Jamaican-themed restaurant Cafe Kingston. The business in run by Dr Una Morris, a micro-managing owner who also works at a radiotherapy clinic next door, and is determined to introduce hospital-style techniques to the kitchen by sealing everything in plastic bags.

01:05 Primal Scream's Orange RockCorps 01:20 Empire Records 03:10 Much Ado About a Minor Ting 03:45 Hung 04:15 Brothers & Sisters 05:00 Hill Street Blues 05:50 Cookery School 06:45 Sali Mali 06:50 The Treacle People 07:00 The Hoobs 07:25 Freshly Squeezed 07:50 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:20 According to Jim 08:45 Friends 09:15 Friends 09:45 90210 10:45 The Wanted's Postcard from T4 on the Beach 11:00 Made in Chelsea 12:00 Friends 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A Place in the Sun 14:05 River Cottage Bites 14:20 Carry On Constable 16:00 Come Dine with Me 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 The Sex Education Show 22:00 Undercover Boss 23:00 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA

00:00 Anacondas: the Hunt for the Blood Orchid 01:50 SuperCasino 04:55 Animal Rescue Squad 05:10 House Busters 06:00 County Secrets 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Ebb and Flo 07:40 Fireman Sam 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 The WotWots 08:05 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Roary the Racing Car 09:35 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:50 Olivia 10:00 Little Princess 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Wright Stuff Extra with Gabby Logan 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Ice Road Truckers 14:15 Meerkat Manor 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:15 Murder among Friends 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Meerkat Manor 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Mexican Food Made Simple 21:00 Monster Moves 22:00 CSI: Miami 23:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

41

Wednesday 10th August

00:35 White Oleander 02:25 Coast 03:25 Fake Britain 04:10 Britain's Bravest Cops 04:55 Saints and Scroungers 05:25 An Island Parish 05:55 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Wreck or Ready?

12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Only Fools and Horses 16:05 Copycats 16:35 The Sparticle Mystery 17:00 School of Silence 17:30 Little Howard's Big Question 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 National Treasures Live 21:00 Village SOS 22:00 Who Do You Think You Are? 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Not Going Out bbc2 00:20 01:20 02:15 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45

Town with Nicholas Crane The Tudors Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today

05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 05:55 Close 07:00 Wibbly Pig 07:10 Dipdap 07:15 Pinky Dinky Doo 07:30 Tinga Tinga Tales 07:45 Octonauts 08:00 Roar 08:30 The Jungle Book 08:40 Deadly Art 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Deadly 60 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Bob the Builder 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:35 Chuggington 10:45 Mr Bloom's Nursery 11:05 Gigglebiz 11:20 Zingzillas 11:45 Waybuloo 12:35 The Moon Is Blue 14:15 Diagnosis Murder 15:00 Wanted Down Under 16:00 Weakest Link 16:45 Antiques Road Trip 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Escape to the Country 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Celebrity Eggheads 20:00 Rick Stein's Spain 21:00 Natural World: Empire of the Desert Ants 22:00 The Code 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Newsnight 23:30 Weather

01:10 Grimefighters 01:35 The Zone 01:35 ITV News Headlines 03:40 Crossing Jordan 04:30 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let's Do Lunch with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Rosemary & Thyme 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live International Football 23:10 ITV News and Weather 23:40 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:45 International Football

VILLAGE SOS New series. Sarah Beeny follows six communities aiming to breathe life back into their area, with the aid of a six-figure grant from the Big Lottery Fund and an army of volunteers. She begins in Talgarth near Brecon, following the residents over the course of one year as they restore a crumbling water mill to working order, creating a bakery and cafe on site.

00:05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 01:05 C4 Presents - Joe Bestwick 01:10 European Poker Tour 02:10 Sailing 03:05 Beach Volleyball 04:00 KOTV Boxing Weekly 04:25 The Grid 04:55 British Formula 3 05:25 Scrapheap Challenge 06:20 Cookery School 07:15 The Treacle People 07:25 Freshly Squeezed 07:50 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:20 According to Jim 08:45 Friends 09:45 90210 10:40 McFly's Postcard from T4 on the Beach 10:55 Made in Chelsea 11:55 Friends 12:55 C4 Presents - Jody Cundy 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A Place in the Sun 14:05 River Cottage Bites 14:15 Carry On Regardless 16:00 Come Dine with Me 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut 23:50 The Inbetweeners

00:00 CSI 00:55 True CSI 01:55 SuperCasino 04:55 Animal Rescue Squad 05:10 Monster Moves 06:00 County Secrets 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Ebb and Flo 07:40 Fireman Sam 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 The WotWots 08:05 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Milkshake! Monkey 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Roary the Racing Car 09:35 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:50 Olivia 10:00 Little Princess 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Wright Stuff Extra with Gabby Logan 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Ice Road Truckers 14:15 Meerkat Manor 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:15 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:20 Mystery Woman: Vision of a Murder 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Meerkat Manor 19:25 OK! TV 19:55 5 News at 7 20:00 Cricket 21:00 The Removal Men: Pickfords 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Universal Soldier

42

Thursday 11th August

00:15 Him & Her 00:45 The League Cup Show 01:50 Bang Goes the Theory 02:20 Country Tracks 03:15 Richard Hammond's Engineering Connections 04:05 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 04:35 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 Panorama 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Wreck or Ready?

12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Only Fools and Horses 16:05 Copycats 16:35 The Sparticle Mystery 17:00 Gimme a Break 17:30 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 20:30 BBC News; Regional News 21:00 Traffic Cops 22:00 Torchwood: Miracle Day 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Me, My Sex and I bbc2 00:20 01:20 02:10 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00

Fake or Fortune?

The Tudors Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday

04:30 Asia Business Report 04:35 Close 07:00 Wibbly Pig 07:10 Dipdap 07:15 Pinky Dinky Doo 07:30 Tinga Tinga Tales 07:45 Octonauts 08:00 Roar 08:30 The Jungle Book 08:40 Deadly Art 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Deadly 60 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Bob the Builder 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:15 Driver Dan's Story Train 10:35 Chuggington 10:45 Mr Bloom's Nursery 11:05 Gigglebiz 11:20 Zingzillas 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 Coast 12:40 Bell-Bottom George 14:15 Diagnosis Murder 15:00 Wanted Down Under 16:00 Weakest Link 16:45 Antiques Road Trip 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Escape to the Country 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Celebrity Eggheads 20:00 The Culture Show at the Edinburgh Festival 21:00 Monty Halls' Great Irish Escape 22:00 Town with Nicholas Crane 23:00 Have I Got Old News for You 23:30 Newsnight

00:45 Homes from Hell 01:40 The Zone 03:45 Deliverance 05:40 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let's Do Lunch with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Rosemary & Thyme 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 What Price Justice?: Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Single-Handed 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:35 Piers Morgan's Life Stories: Susan Boyle

PIERS MORGANS LIFE STORES: SUSAN BOYLE The singer discusses her rise to fame as a result of appearing on Britain's Got Talent - with Piers on the judging panel - and the harrowing time she went through after losing out in the 2009 final to dance act Diversity. In 2010 Susan was asked to sing for the Pope in front of a 65,000-strong crowd on his visit to Britain, and her first two albums have sold more than 10 million copies combined worldwide.

00:20 The Inbetweeners 00:50 Ibiza Rocks 01:25 The Killing 02:20 The Crush 03:15 One Minute Past Midnight 03:25 Dangerous Beauty 05:15 Brothers & Sisters 06:00 Cookery School 06:55 Sali Mali 07:00 The Hoobs 07:25 Freshly Squeezed 07:50 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:20 According to Jim 08:45 Friends 09:45 90210 10:45 Made in Chelsea's Postcard from T4 on the Beach 11:00 Rise of the Planet of the Apes: A T4 Movie Special 11:30 Jessie J Live at Shepherd's Bush Empire 12:00 Friends 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A Place in the Sun 14:05 River Cottage Bites 14:15 Carry On Cabby 16:00 Come Dine with Me 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Help! My House Is Falling Down 22:00 The Killing 23:00 Coppers

01:05 Poker: The Big Game 02:05 SuperCasino 04:55 Animal Rescue Squad 05:10 HouseBusters 05:35 HouseBusters 06:00 Rough Guide to Beaches 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Ebb and Flo 07:40 Peppa Pig 07:45 The WotWots 07:55 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Thomas & Friends 08:40 Noddy in Toyland 08:55 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:25 Roary the Racing Car 09:35 Bananas in Pyjamas 09:50 Olivia 10:00 Little Princess 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Wright Stuff Extra with Gabby Logan 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Ice Road Truckers 14:15 Meerkat Manor 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:15 Midwives 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Meerkat Manor 19:25 OK! TV 19:55 5 News at 7 20:00 Cricket 21:00 Croc Man 22:00 New Cowboy Builders 23:00 Candy Bar Girls

Friday, August 5, 2011

43

44

Friday, August 5, 2011

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES 10 cold drinks /snack vending machines with sites 44,900 euros.

Excellent cash income, no overhead, operate from home 31,000 euros NETT per year one day p.w. to service.25 Pringle vending machines with sites 14,900 euros 250 euros per week NETT guaranteed, machines and sites available individually. 965 326 442 / 659 696 455 (09) Bar for sale. Quesada area.

Going cheap. For information pack, email: . Tel: 688 800 960 (16)

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly. Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denomina-

AIR CONDITIONING

tional. Sunday services 11:00am. Children’s Church 11:00am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11:00am. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome 966 799 273 // 660 127 276.

Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3 Pilar de la Horadada opposite the old cinema.

Sunday Service 11am.

Home groups Tuesday times vary Bible Study and Prayer Meeting Thursday 5pm.

Pastor Rev. Eddie Martens Tel 966 769 300 Mobile 650 509 600

FOR SALE Large full equipped internet cafe, computer repair shop

& postal service, prime location, well established (10 yrs) Guardamar. Call 697 529 194 (25)

HAIRDRESSER English mobile hairdresser.

20 years experience. Prices from 6 euros. Almoradi, Algorfa, Benijofer, Rojales, Quesada, Guardamar, San Luis, Torrevieja areas. Call Jeri on 966 318 550 / 698 257 200. (25)

PERSONAL Attractive sexy couple looking for femine women for threesome fun and friendship. Genuine, clean & discreet, within 1 hour of Murcia. Contact 634 364 731(23)

PETS 2 Siamese kittens, free to

BUSINESS GROUP

late point and white Ready in 2 weeks, both parents can be seen. Call 603 121 785 for more info(25) 5 month old Collie Cross Pup free to good home Full time jobs force reluctant parting He is brown with collie markings and has green eyes! a very handsome dog, fully house trained and is a big bundle of fun!

Call 603 121 785 (25)

PROPERTY FOR RENT Luxury appartments, 2/3 bedrooms in San Miguel De Salinas.

Floor heating, Elevator, Roof terrace with swimming pool, from 385 euros/month Also holiday rentals and appartments in San Miguel de Salinas from 350 euros / month. 966 723 437 and 616 487 493 (27) Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 49, 2nd floor one bed-

room apartment situated conveniently located in the town centre of Torrevieja, with a small sun balcony overlooking the lovely communal pool. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, South facing 3 bedroomed property situated injardin Del Mar VII, with communal pool nearby.

Close to amenities. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, super-

REMOVALS

BUILDER

good home. Both are choco-

PAVING

SHUTTERS

market, restaurants and bars. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops.

Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 128, A lovely One bedroom 2nd floor apartment, American style kitchen, Lounge with patio doors to balcony, in the San Luis area. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 104, Lovely Two Bedroom Apartment in Torrevieja, within walking distance of Friday Market and the beach. The Property is close to the Habaneras Shopping Centre and Aquapark. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 155, Luxurious Three Bedroom Villa With Private Pool, in Quesada Close to shops and restaurants within a five minute drive, and Guadamar Beach is within a ten minute drive. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 709, A lovely 1 bedroom apartment within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

SPORTS EQUIPMENT

CAR MECHANIC

CARPENTER

BOUNCY CASTLE

SKY TV

GARDENING

SECURITY

LOCKSMITH

SWIMMING POOL MAINTENANCE

VAN HIRE

45

Friday, August 5, 2011 There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 708, A lovely two bedroom, one bathroom corner ground floor apartment with a spacious patio & Residents off road parking.

Communal pool near by.

Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

PROPERTY FOR SALE Gran Alacant, corner semi detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bathrooms, large garden, enclosed terrace, fully furnished, private drive for 2 cars, on gated desirable urbanisation Monte Faro, many facilities priced for quick sale 185,000 Tel 680333242 House for sale. Santiago de la Ribera, 3-4 bedrooms, lovely garden, two balconies, two fireplaces, quiet neighbourhood, five minutes walk to beach.

Tel: 616596647 or 672192482 (22).

Balsares, terraced 4 bedroomed house, 3 bath-

rooms, large underbuild, private underground parking direct to house, small gated urbanisation, directly over looking proposed new golf course opposite Gran Alacant, priced for quick sale at original off plan price 180.000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, 3 bedroomed, 3 bath mid terraced Altomar 1, views of Alicante Bay, close to communal pool, walking distance to bars and resturants opportunity at reduced price 145,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, front line, 2 bed, 1 bath, downstairs toilet, fully furnished, roof terrace, walking distance to beaches, large communal and resturants, beach front property priced for quick sale 125,000 Tel 680333242 Quesada, detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bath, all large rooms, front enclosed conservatory, fully furnished, oiled fuelled heating, outdoor poolside kitchen and bbq area enclosed, large pool, outside toilet, garage for 2 cars, newly refurbished, established garden with fruit trees, set in a cul de sac on 1000m2, the overall plot can be divided, as registered as two plots, so

METAL RECYCLING

this house could be a substantial investment opportunity, situated in the Dona pepe area close to Quesada town centre, priced 299,000 negotiable Tel 680333242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles.

It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 520, €85,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 510, €79,999.

Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the supermarkets, bars and restaurants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 146, €85,000. Three bedroom Two bathroom quad house in Dream Hills.

Off road parking on the front driveway with gates that can be padlocked for security.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: KP3100, €195,000.

Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, located

PLUMBERS

HAIRDRESSER

FURNITURE

CARDS

CHIROPODIST

HALOGEN

MOSQUITOS

SURVEYS

NEWS AGENTS

SIGNS

TATTOOS

in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool.

Garage to side of house.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 30, €119,000. Two bedroom detached house with large front terrace. This villa is in the Punta Marina area close to Playa Flamenca , Close to amenities.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off-road parking and small storage shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 128, €34,950. One bedroom 2nd floor apartment located in San Luis.

American style kitchen, Lounge with patio doors to balcony, with lovely views in the San Luis area.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626

PETS

397 397 Ref: 709, €60,000 A lovely 1 bedroom apartment within a 5 minute walk of the beach.

There is a terrace outside with views to the sea. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

SITUATIONS VACANT

WANTED

LOCKSMITH

46

Friday, August 5, 2011

THE PIE’S THE LIMIT ONLY 11 of the 104 senior clubs in England and Scotland will offer adults the chance to enjoy a day at the football for less than £20 during the new season.

A BBC Sport survey of every club in the four English divisions and Scottish Premier League showed that fans in the North-West of England have some of the cheapest deals available for match-day tickets.

• Eight clubs offer tickets for a tenner: Blackburn, Watford, Rochdale, Preston, MK Dons, Rotherham, Torquay and Plymouth • Arsenal's pie is the country's most expensive at £4 • Leeds have the most expensive programme at £4, St Johnstone have the cheapest at £1 • The cheapest cup of tea in the country is 50p at Crawley.

Hereford’s is 80p • Pies in the South-West are generally more expensive (Cheltenham £3.50, Bristol City £3.40, Plymouth £2.90, Bristol Rovers £2.85, Yeovil £3) • Inverness Caledonian Thistle offer the cheapest day out in the SPL - £21.90 Clubs were asked for their cheapest and most expensive match-day adult tickets, as well as the prices for a cup of tea, a programme and a pie in order to work out the overall price for fans without season tickets

McLaren right on the Button

JENSON Button kept his cool during a chaotic Hungarian Grand Prix to mark his 200th Formula One race with a superb victory. The McLaren driver trailed team-mate Lewis Hamilton for much of the race but capitalised on a late rain shower to take control, his fellow Brit missing out due to a wrong choice of tyres and a drive-through penalty.

Sebastian Vettel followed Button home in second with the Ferrari of Fernando Alonso in third and Hamilton climbing back up to fourth after his problems. Mark Webber was fifth ahead of Felipe Massa, while the rest of the 10 points-paying positions were occupied by Paul di Resta, Sebastien Buemi, Nico Rosberg and Jaime Alguersuari.

Dyson cleans up in Killarney ENGLAND’S Simon Dyson clinched his fifth European Tour title with a one-stroke Irish Open win ahead of Australian Richard Green.

Left-hander Green had a long putt to snatch the championship on the final hole but ended up taking a bogey to hand victory to Dyson on 15 under. Scotland's Stephen Gallacher holed a monster birdie putt on the last to claim third place on his own.

David Howell, tied for the lead overnight with Dyson and Green, fell away with a 73 on the Killarney course. Peter

WORLD SPORTS ROUNDUP with Mick Hardy from Kidease

Lawrie was Ireland's best finisher on nine under while Portstewart amateur Paul Cutler completed a fine week on five under.

Dyson had just three bogeys all week and his win earns him a place in this week's Bridgestone Invitational in Ohio.

"I will have to phone my travel agent now," said Dyson on his changed plans. "Ireland is a place I really enjoy coming to but I have never really played well in this tournament."

Tseng is British Open queen WORLD No.1 Yani Tseng showed why she is the dominant force in women’s golf with a four-stroke victory in the Ricoh Women’s British Open at Carnoustie.

Tseng, 22, from Chinese Taipei, became the youngest player in history, male or female, to win five major championships.

Tiger Woods was 24 when he won the fifth of his 14 majors at the 2000 PGA Championship.

Tseng trailed by two shots going into the final round but put together a three under par 69 to end 16 under, ahead of American Brittany Lang.

Tseng collected six birdies and three bogeys on a cold and windy final day at Carnoustie, which was hosting the cham-

Counting the cost of a day at the football

pionship for the first time.

With her win, she made it four victories from eight appearances in majors over the past two years and she also became only the third woman to successfully defend the title that she won 12 months previously at Royal Birkdale.

It feels really good. I played so consistently today and I enjoyed the crowd here,” said Tseng, who earned a first prize of £239,047. “It’s so great making history on this golf course and I feel wonderful right now. It’s my honour to win the British Open again.”

King Cav coy on future Mark Cavendish says he has decided which team he will be with in 2012 - but is refusing to reveal their identity for a few weeks. Cavendish's contract with HTCHighroad - with whom he won the green jersey at the Tour de France last month expires at the end of the year.

There has been speculation linking the 26-year-old with Team Sky. But he would only tell BBC 5 live he made his choice last weekend, saying: "I'm 100% happy in my decision."

Cavendish denied that his decision was a financial one, saying that he would "get the same money whichever team I go to."

"I want to go to the best place to help me win," he explained. "That might be the same place I am at now."

The issue has been heightened by the opening of the transfer period. Under International Cycling Union rules, teams can only recruit riders between August 1 and December 31.

Cavendish also has high hopes for September's World Championships in Copenhagen, where he is tipped as favourite on a course that will favour sprinters.

He said: "I think with the team I have and the course it is the best chance of my career to win the worlds.’’

Once more unto the beach…

TWO English teams are among the entries for Saturday’s international San Juan Rugby Sevens, which are scheduled to begin at 10am.

The tournament, which will go on until around 21.00 with a food and drink break in the middle of the day, is the fourteenth annual beach event at San Juan and if the previous years are anything to go by, it will be a great day’s rugby.

Meanwhile, training at ITV Orihuela RFC restarts on August 30 after the summer break in preparation for joining the Murcia League.

For more information about what is going on in the club, call Garry on 692 767 242, and for the juniors contact Oscar on 600 871 606 (Spanish)

47

Friday, August 5, 2011

Dad would be so happy with Manchester City’s success, says Bernard Manning junior, but as for their Arab owners…

JUST like his irreverently funny Dad, Bernard Manning Junior, El Presidente of Radcliffe Borough FC, is controversial and ever so slightly hilarious with his views on big league football.

The Mannings have always been avid Manchester City fans, so you can imagine their reaction to the goings on at Eastlands, or should I say the Etihad Stadium, now the Arabs have moved in with all their money.

That huge cash kitty has seen City land the likes of Carlos Tevez and Sergio Aguero from Atletico Madrid. And, as Bernard Junior said: "My Dad was a bit of a traditionalist, so while he would be sad that the old days of Maine Road and

All President at correct: Bernard Manning Jnr

EXCLUSIVE by STEVE BOTT all that went with it are gone, at least now City are back where they belong - in the big time. As for the Arabs, they would be welcome down at Dad's old club, The Embassy, any day of the week - but especially on a Sunday. That's when it's closed!"

But seriously folks, Bernard Jnr, who has an apartment in Fuengirola that he and his wife visit regularly, is even more outrageous with his prediction of who will win the 2011/12 Premier League title. His and his Dad's beloved Manchester City? Surely not their arch rivals Man United again?

Liverpool? No. It's Chelsea!

"Liverpool are not good enough in defence. I am not going to say United because I am a City fan so that leaves Chelsea as I don't think Arsenal are going to be there this year.

Chelsea have quietly strengthened and they have their new manager. Whatever happens I reckon it is going to be even more interesting than last season," said young Bernard.

Back to his Spanish connections and Bernard junior fondly remembers a former Radcliffe groundsman called Alf Padina who looked and sounded Spanish but blasted back when he was so called a Spaniard: "I am NOT Spanish. I am from Gibraltar!"

Then there was the Elephanti cabaret pub in Benalmadena, where Manning Senior had ‘em rocking in the aisles on many occasions and even made the front pages of The Sol newspaper.

Back to the football and on the transfer front, Radcliffe's biggest fee received was £20,000 from Shrewsbury Town for a striker called Jody Banim.

They sold Craig Dawson to Rochdale for £18,000

and Dawson moved on to West Brom last summer for around £500,000. There was a 15 per cent sell-on fee in Radcliffe's favour from that deal and young Bernard declared: "It helped to pay the tax man."

Radcliffe Borough, in the northern suburbs of Manchester, might not deal in multi-million pound transfers and pay mega wages but they do rub shoulders with the rich and famous now and again.

Apart from their famous annual golf day at the plush Marriot Hotel in nearby Worsley, a few years ago, due to Bernard Senior's friendship with Sir Alex Ferguson, Radcliffe staged a behind-closed-doors pre-season warm-up match against Manchester United with the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney and Rio Ferdinand striding the Stainton Park pitch. The stuff dreams are made of, eh?

So next time you are down on the Costa Del Sol, look out for Bernard Junior reading The Sol, buy him a pint and he might regale you with a few more tales about his famous Dad and the Boro.

Happy chappies: Bernard Manning father and son

DALE AND FAREWELL

By STEVE BOTT

CRAIG DAWSON, a young man from Rochdale, has teamed up with Spaniards Pablo Ibanez and Borja Valero on the latest leg of his thrilling roller coaster ride to the very summit of football’s giddy golden heights.

In the space of four pulsating years, the 21-year-old defender has risen from the non-league Evo Stik League with Radcliffe Borough to the heights of the English Premier League with West Bromwich Albion.

The lad from Rooley Moor Road, just a stone’s throw from Rochdale’s Spotland ground, started his career at Radcliffe, where the son of comedy legend Bernard Manning, is club President. But his rise to fame and fortune at the Hawthorns is no joke.

A few days after a nightmare return to Rochdale when the Baggies were battered 3-0 and Dawson was substituted, he completed 90 minutes against Southampton and is set to push on and cement a place in Roy Hodgson’s Premier XI.

From Spotland to spotlight as Dawson heads for stardom Dawson played in defence alongside Ibanez, who hails from Madrigueras, and also featured in Albion’s US tour match against San Jose Earthquakes.

He said: “It was a bit different. We went to Marbella a few times with Rochdale

but the States is the furthest I have ever been. ‘’It was a great experience, especially at this stage of my development. I enjoyed being with the first team players and the coach-

es.

Mr Hodgson has said I am a young player learning every day and now I am focused on waiting for my opportunity to break into the West Brom first team.”

Until his move to The Hawthorns, Dawson had never been out of Rochdale domestically. But now he is house hunting in and around Birmingham for a pad he could only have dreamt a couple of years ago.

After 18 months at Radcliffe he was sold to hometown club Rochdale for £18,000 and enjoyed success with them as they rose into League One for the first time in almost 40 years.

That led to his £500,000 move to West Brom – something that brought a smile to Bernard junior’s face as there was a 15 per cent sell-on clause in the deal in Radcliffe Borough’s favour.

“I have always lived in

Rochdale and life is very different now,” said Dawson after a spell of house-hunting with his agent Gary Lloyd.

“It was young Bernard who first got me down to

Radcliffe Borough. I know his son Ben. They live in the Rochdale area.

“I went to train with them and was invited back by one of the staff, Kevin Glendon, and it all went on from there.

“Kevin guided me through a lot of things. I enjoyed my football at Radcliffe. They are a great set of lads.

“It was the same when I

went to Rochdale. Keith Hill, the manager at the time, and his assistant David Flitcroft are fabulous.

Everyone enjoyed working with them.

“Now I am enjoying life at Albion being around the players and coaches and looking to make that next big step up into the Premier League permanently.”

EL RAISERS

From Back Page That was backed up by comments from Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson, who revealed that Tevez had mentioned retirement way back when he was in the early stages of negotiating his last contract at Old Trafford.

Tevez wanted a five-year deal but United were only prepared to offer four, particularly after hearing of his retirement plans. In the end he went to rivals Manchester City were he has been for two years.

Tevez may have had a grand six-year plan aimed at bringing in as much cash as possible without a particular leaning towards trophies. He spent two years at each of West Ham, United and City and moved on after each spell.

Now it remains to be seen if anyone has the cash, transfer-wise and wages, to tempt him to continue on the big stage instead of concentrating on his

family and returning to Argentina.

As it is, it looks highly likely that he will stay at Manchester City and spearhead their bid for a Premier league crown and a big push in their first-ever season in the Champions League alongside fellow countryman Aguero.

Malaga, meanwhile, have been linked with Berbatov, who has not yet been offered an extension to his current contract at Manchester United, which has one-year to run.

Despite finishing the season as joint top Premier League scorer alongside Tevez with 20 goals, the Bulgarian spent a long time on the sidelines towards the end of the season.

Now Malaga have been linked with him and they are likely to get the 30year-old for considerably less than the £30.5m United paid Tottenham Hotspur three years ago. If United were to consider letting him go, that is.

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Friday, August 5, 2011

THE COURIER No.1 for SPORT! All the action p46, 47

EL RAISERS

Arteta, Tevez, Berbatov back in La Liga sights STEVE BOTT reports MIKEL ARTETA, Carlos Tevez and Dimitar Berbatov have again popped up on the Spanish football radar following Sergio Aguero's big-money move from Atletico Madrid to Manchester City.

Everton midfield man Arteta, who hails from San Sebastian, is on a mission to return to Spain and has already been linked with Atletico. But now Villarreal are preparing an £8m bid for the 29-year-old former Rangers, Real

Sociedad and Barcelona player.

Arteta has expressed a wish to return to his homeland and Villarreal fancy the £10m-rated creator after missing out on Real Madrid ace Sergio Canales, who has joined Valencia on loan, and the departure of Santi Cazorla, who has joined moneybags Malaga in a £16m deal.

Malaga, backed by Arab money, put in a cheeky bid for Tevez, who is seeking a move away from Manchester City to either Spain or Italy. But there is a school of thought emerging that the Argentinian may well retire if he fails to get the move he wants.

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